#i know i need to do a scene comparison of their arguments

[hertenskylarks]

More 2 Cents on S3

So, I know there’s already a lot of talk going around. Here’s my 2 cents. 

In light of the recent news, I keep hearing a lot of “Oh, I hope the third season doesn’t get canceled,” and “Oh, I hope it does. Fuck Gaiman,” and “Oh, what about Terry’s vision? What about the fans? What about closure?”

I have absolutely zero control as to whether or not season 3 is made. Many arguments for and against it have already been made. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I will offer this perspective from my own personal experience. 

I’m a swing dancer, and my rapist was my teacher and one of the first people who ever taught me how to dance. One of the things that made me hesitant to come forward was that he was one of the most likable characters in my scene. He was the funny, goofy guy who wore funky printed shirts, he was sooo nice, he couldn’t possibly be a rapist, right? Right?

Seeing people praise him, hearing people talk about how great he is when I knew what he did to me… It drove me absolutely mad. I just wanted to shake people and say, “No, you don’t understand! You don’t understand who he is!” But I felt like I just couldn't. I felt his reputation was too iron-clad to say anything.

Coming forward was one of the scariest things I ever did because I was so sure people either wouldn't believe me or wouldn't care. And, as predicted, that was the case for some. You can only imagine how I felt when someone I used to call my friend went on to have him officiate her wedding. You can only imagine how I felt when the response from the organizers of the dance scene was to ask me to avoid mentioning Y-Town Swing in social media posts (Oops) to protect their reputation. You can only imagine how I felt when they continued to have him as a teacher, or when they updated their safe space policy to say they are not responsible for anything that happens “outside a Y-Town swing event.�� 

Oh, so if he raped me in the bathroom at the event instead it would have made a difference? Right, sorry, didn't realize the location or a rape mattered that much.

Anyway…

This was all in the confines of a small dance scene, in a small city, in a very niche hobby. Now, imagine how it must feel when your rapist and abuser is a fucking best selling author, praised as this ally to women and LGBT people, he’s the quirky guy who has a Tumblr and actually responds to his fans and he’s so cool, he’s one of us, he can’t possibly be a rapist, right? Right?

I can only imagine how fucking mad it drove his victims to know who he really is and see him put on such a high pedestal. 

So, however this all unfolds, I will say this. The people I care about most are the victims. I say this as someone who loved and still loves Good Omens, I say this as someone who was torn up about the final 15, as someone who rejoiced when S3 was originally announced, before all the allegations came to light. I care about the victims. 

But what about the fans? Listen, it’s a fucking TV show. Do you really mean to tell me the ending of a fictional fucking story is more important than the very real people he’s hurt? Not having an ending to your favorite show does not hold a candle to the trauma of being sexually assaulted. There’s no comparison. Not in the same ballpark. Not even in the same galaxy. 

But what about Terry?

Terry is dead and in his grave. I am sorry to say this, but whether his vision comes to life or not, he will never be the wiser. It makes no difference to him. If I could wave my magic wand and have Terry alive and well and Gaiman dead and in his grave, believe me, I definitely would, but that is not the hand we were dealt. 

So please, all I ask is this. Before you go spouting shit like, “I hope we don’t lose S3,” or “I just need to know how it ends,” put yourself in their shoes for just a second.

Imagine you are Claire, or Scarlett, or any of his other victims. Imagine you are sexually assaulted by someone whom the world just puts on a pedestal. You have to sit there and listen to him get praised as being “such a great ally to women and minorities” and “he’s one of us,” and “he’s so brilliant. He’s so cool. He really listens to his fans. Look at this quote of his I got tattooed on my body.” And for years you just sit there and take it, because you’re so fucking afraid that no one will believe you if you come forward, you’re told your story “isn’t enough,” you watch him get richer and richer while you’re stuck with the therapy bill for everyting this “great ally of women” did to you. 

Now imagine that you finally come forward. You finally muster up the will to speak your truth, and tell people what he did to you, and you find that you’re not the only person he’s hurt. The world is finally hearing your story and learning what a manipulative monster he is. 

And now, I want you to think very carefully about what it means if we still get S3. 

S3 means press tours. It means more reviews praising him as a genius. It means certain people being contractually obligated to say nice things about him, or at the very least, not say negative things about him. It means, once again, seeing his fucking horse face or his name everywhere, on Amazon, on billboards, on busses, on posters, in adverts. Only now, it's AFTER the world heard your side of the story.

Just imagine how that would feel. 

So, if it wasn't obvious by now, my stance on S3 is… I don't really want it to happen. Not out of spite or some deep seated hatred for Gaiman (although, ya know, fuck that guy) but out of consideration for the people he's hurt, as someone who knows exactly how it feels to see the person who hurt you get put on a pedestal. 

I understand that production is paused and people think he may be getting removed from the project. I'm not going to comment on that because "paused” can mean a lot of things and there's so much we don't know yet.

There will be other shows. 

There will be shows that DO have satisfying endings. 

Media and shows can be replaced. 

But there is no such thing as being un-raped. 

[thewardenisonthecase]

About the Lucanis Romance

(this is a long ass post ok so bear with me)

So I've been meaning to adress some of the complaints/criticisms of Lucanis's romance and I was thinking on how to do it and I finally figured it out. While I don't like making comparisons because I think they're somewhat unfair, but this time, I'm gonna do it to show why I have some many complaints about the Lucanis romance.

And I'm gonna compare it to Fenris's romance arc in DA2. The main reason for that is that 1) they're both very troubled man who brood and went through A Lot tm and 2) considering DA2 also doesn't allow you to just talk to the companions whenever and doesn't have a spam kiss button and is a shorter game, it feels the fairest comparison.

'Lack of reactivity when it comes to the flirting dialogue options'

One of the biggest complaints when it comes to Lucanis romance is his lack of reaction to the flirting dialogue lines. I've seen the argument that 'oh but he's awakward, he doesn't know how to react'. I'm not the biggest fan of this because there are ways to better portray a character being bad with flirting than having 0 reaction.

During Switch and Bait, the quest where Fenris is recruited, you can flirt with him. And how does he react? He gives a nervous laugh, because he's not used to do. But that conveys that he listened to the flirt line and is responding to it, even if he doesn't actually say anything. There are other moments where his reaction is looking away, smirking, and a few times he does flirt back.

Even if small, I never felt that Fenris wasn't reacting to what was being said. Meanwhile, Lucanis has a painful moment where Rook tells him "I'm here" and he, with the straightest face ever, responds with "We need to talk about Ilario". And this is not the only time where it feels like there was no response to the flirting, its just the most egregious of them.

So, while I can understand what people mean by the fact that he's awkward, there are better ways to portray this. It's important to remember that this is a video game, which is an interactive media, and on top of that, it's an RPG. The player HAS to feel like what they're doing matters, because if it doesn't, it's easiert to just read a book.

'Not enough romance scenes'

I think this is a criticism that has been misunderstood by many people. Romance scenes do not mean just sex. I'm asexual, the sex scenes are the thing that least matter to me. Like, Fenris only has 1 sex scenes and it's a fade to black where he immediatly dumps Hawke after, so clearly, sex is not what I care about.

What does matter are scenes that establish a connection between the two character.

And while Lucanis has them, and I think they're great (the coffee scene and the almost kiss one are the highlights for me), due to the way these scenes are spread out, it feels like there's something missing.

DA2 also doesn't have a shitton of romance scenes, and considering the fact that Fenris breaks up with Hawke halfway through, its understandable. But the difference is that DA2 is a much shorter game than Veilguard, or, at the very least, Act 2 of DA2 is waaaay more concise than Act 2 of Veilguard, which is where most of the romance is happening.

That means that, even if there aren't that many romance scenes, they are better splayed out, so you don't feel like you're missing stuff. Another thing that I think happens is that you can really dive in and just ask the companion a lot of things.

Take Fenris's Questioning Beliefs quest in Act 2, which is a really important scene for the romance. Much like veilguard, its a scene that doesn't begin as a romance one but if you have been picking the flirting options, it can turn into Fenris and Hawke discussing about being intimate in the future. And in this scene, Fenris confesses to not having been with anyone in long, and doesn't remember if he actually ever has been with anyone.

This can be made so much longer by the fact that Hawke can ask multiple follow up questions from there, and that helps in both creating a connection between the two and also establishing the romance. Even if they don't do anything then, Fenris will say 'another time'.

And this happens in the act 3 version of Questioning Beliefs, which has the culmination of Fenris's and Hawke's romance, where their relationship is rekindled. And I think they do what Veilguard should have done: they let the player adress Fenris leaving Hawke.

One thing that bothered me, and that other people have brought up is that after Lucanis's runs away from the almost kiss, it's never adressed again. And I think if they could have had a moment where Rook and Lucanis talk about this, it could have been great to understand Lucanis and his history with relationships, how he feels internally about what's going on with them, heck maybe even apologize. Just something to feel that that wasn't a random scene, that was something important that happened.

Also, because you can interrogate Fenris so much in those scenes, the feeling that he was yearning for Hawke but all his trauma was stopping him felt more natural/real/explicit. I remember getting to the endgame portion of Veilguard and Lucanis pulling out the 'when i wanted to be with you but was scared' and thinking this is a lovely sentiment but why it hasn't been shown before? Because yes, the almost kiss is a good way to establish this, but if it had been actually delved in, that feeling could have been made more explicit.

I also wanted to add that, while the gift giving in DA2 is nowhere near the mechanic it was in DAO, it still helped with establishing that connection, and it gave even more chances for characters to flirt, and if DATV had used this opportunity, it could have helped a lot, instead of just having the character go "for me? thanks"

'Banter'

I'm gonna adress two issues here at once. The first is Neve.

Out of the gate, hating on Neve just because she flirts with Lucanis and gets with him if you don't romance either of them is weird, and at the very least, sexist.

So, what I want to talk about is that if you're romancing either of them, for some reason, their flirting banters still trigger and that can be uncomfortable. It sure is weird to be romancing a character and have them still flirt with another, because it comes across as 'oh maybe the choice to romance them doesn't change much' which isn't good for an RPG.

DA2 also has a couple that flirts through banter and gets together if Hawke doesn't romance them, and those are Isabela and Fenris. The difference is that, if you romance either of them, those flirty lines of banter do not trigger. At all. So much so I had no idea they got together because I've only romanced Fenris so far in DA2, so i never even knew of these banters until I looked at the wiki.

So, truly, lucanis and neve getting together is fine (i think neve should have been with bellara but that's another story) but these flirting line should not trigger if either of them are being romanced by Rook.

Still on the topic of banter, maybe I was unlucky and didn't get it to trigger often, but I felt as if, even though everyone was living together, the fact that Rook and Lucanis were in a relationship was not really ever addressed by anyone else? Like, I know these banters exist because I've seen them online, but I feel like there were just too little of them?

In comparison, the DA2 characters have a LOT to say about Hawke's choice of partner (and again, I'm focusing on Fenris here). Merrill adresses the romance through banter ('you make sad puppy eyes whenever Hawke looks away'), Varric, Isabela and Anders have specific scenes where they talk to Hawke about Fenris and give their opinions on the two of them together. Heck, in Aveline's quest where she gets with Donnic, she can briefly mention the two of them. And these all of them also have banter in which they adress the romance.

And its this sort of thing that really helps filling in the gaps of the romance scenes but also showing that these characters know what is happening. And the DA2 gang doesn't even live together!

And for Lucanis in specific, if there always was going to be less scenes with him due to how he is a person, having a few scenes where the other companions talk to Rook about it would have helped bridge that gap, in my opnion. Again, considering you can't directly talk to this characters (as in, click on them and start a dialogue), this would have been a nice touch.

And now a very personal complait of mine

'Kisses and the Commit to Romance scene'

While I stated at the very begging that I don't care about sex scenes, that is another story when it comes to kissing scenes, and I'm sorry, but it's WILD to put the ONLY kissing scene in the romance AT THE ENDGAME PORTION OF THE GAME.

Give it or take, kissing is an intimate act and it can be used, in my opinion, to show that a character is comfortable with that sort of physical touch. And for a character like Lucanis, who is just so troubled, maybe one kiss before the grand finale would have been really fucking welcomed. In fact, I know the scene they could have added that - the one in the café after Ilario is taken down.

It could have been a short, sweet kiss, that was just a follow up to the almost kiss scene. Just something to hammer in more that these characters are together.

Because let me tell you, it is not a good sign when people say they thought the game was bugged after the dessert scene.

That scene, while lovely on its own, does a bad job of making it clear that yeah, these characters are dating now, and that's due to the fact that that is not something really said out loud.

I'm rewatching this scene as I type this out and at no point, is it made clear through dialogue that Rook and Lucanis are agreeing to being together. In fact, Lucanis says that what he's doing is not enough, and Rook disagreed with the sentiment and says they're easily bribed. That's it.

Meanwhile, in DA2, not only in act 2, do Fenris and Hawke lowkey make plans about being intimate at a later date, and Fenris explicitly says he wants Hawke, but in act 3, he once again makes it clear that he wants to be with Hawke, and I feel like this only really happens with Lucanis at the endgame portion of the game.

This is all to say that: The Lucanis romance is lacking, and that Bioware has done something like this before and they did a better job then than now.

[thefirst3chapters]

A lot of this has been said before, but the Logan and Christopher parallels in AYITL are just so striking; Christopher was only in that one scene, and:

In the interim years, they both gave up on their hopes to build a professional life of their own and are working for their family's business again. (This is perhaps the least disputable comparison.)

Working for said family's business means that they have more money than they know what to do with, and they both offer Rory extravagance that she doesn't want or need.

They both circumvent Rory asking about major decisions they've made by giving a vague explanation about said decisions not entirely being up to them.

Rory appears to have a revelation with each of them that she's not going to find the answers she's looking for in those relationships. She initially agrees to go to breakfast with Logan and the LDB as their final goodbye, but then she changes her mind because she's eager to get started on writing while the LDB members continue their antics. When she leaves Christopher's office, her eyes look sad and distant as do his; he just chose something else over her, and they both seem to know that's how it's always going to be.

This isn't saying that Logan and Christopher are exactly the same or that Logan is destined to become an absent father after AYITL. I like to think that Logan would do better; simply the fact that he's twenty years older than Christopher was would make the situation so different. It's just... the comparisons are so heavy-handed that I don't understand the arguments that Logan can't possibly be intended to resemble Christopher in a significant way or that another character is the "Christopher" instead or that the writers don't understand the characters they created.

[penvisions]

of beskar and kyber {chapter 10}

Paring: Din Djarin x Force Sensitive! Reader (the Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader)

Summary: Toro Callican using a sedative to capture you has many effects, some you were all to familair with and one that is completely unexpected.

Word Count: 6.5K

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical gore, mention of injuries, blood, mention of past injuries, description of self-inflicted scarring, mentions of past self harm, depression, mental illness, body high, head high, angst, reader is drugged, reader is under the influence of a sedative, body dysmorphia, body image issues, feelings of uselessness, feelings of weakness, altered mental state, ptsd, arousal, sexual themes, offer of sexual favors by reader, reader is tied up, reader is held captive, talk of past sexual encounters (not detailed), argumentative dialogue

A/N: there is a lot of angst and dialogue in this! it helps to set the tone for the budding relationship between din and our dear san. please let me know what y'all think? this was a rather hard chapter to outline and i wasn't sure if it was the right pacing but i feel comfortable enough to make it an official part of the story instead of abandoned scenes that sit in a document forever

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist

It was pitch black, when you began to come back to yourself.

Blinking your eyes open rapidly, you tried to adjust to where you were. Trying to take stock of your body and how everything felt but it was hard with so many senses taken away from you. Mind fuzzy and body feeling like your nerves were untethered. Drugged, the rational, subconscious part of your brain that was struggling to operate supplied you. It was jarring, to feel so disconnected from your body, too familiar in the way that it made you feel to weak and defeated. So much like the person you had been trying to overcome for weeks now, all of the progress you made vanished in the plunge of a needle breaking through your skin.

Weightlessness, untethered, dizzy.

Your head felt so heavy in comparison, it was hard to shift around in an attempt to piece where you were and how you got to where it was. Ropes that were knotted far too tight were around your wrists and ankles, maneuvered behind you to make the task of detangling them worse.

“Looks like you need another dose, Mando sure is taking his sweet time considering you and that thing are in danger.”

“Please,” You tried to hold your head up long enough to catch the young man’s eyes. The high of whatever he gave you all encompassing, overwhelming.

“You can’t offer me anything that’ll change my mind.”

“I’ll help you,” The words tumbled out of your mouth like you were just learning how to string sentences together, jumbled and full over your tongue that was dried out. But you needed to get them out, to convince him this was all so reckless. “I’ll help you make your name known.”

“Not interested in anything other than turning in Mando, he will make my name known.”

“He’s…strong.” The words pushed out your lungs on a harsh exhale, the ‘r’ rolling as a growl rumbled in your chest. The need to defend the man who treated you like an equal, gave you space in his ship, allowed you a way to maintain your freedom with his protection.

“He tarnished his reputation for you and that thing. Which means he’ll do anything to keep you both safe.”

Words failed you as your concentration waned, the weightlessness taking over and robbing you of all the languages you were fluent in, mind struggling as it drowned.

“See, the thing is, I think he’s going to do exactly that.” He stepped closer to you, something glinting in his hand. When you leaned your head back against the side paneling of the hold, your eyes narrowed as you tried to focus on his blurry visage. You spat the words out, trying to put as much behind them as you could.

“Or he’ll kill you.” His gloved hand descending on your cheek was loud, the force of the action whipping your head to the side and all you could do was groan and take it. Pain so dulled by the drugs in your vein that it barely registered beyond a prickling sensation.

“I’m sure he’ll want to, I know he’ll want to. But he’s got a weakness now and it’ll play out exactly like I want it to.”

There was a sharp sting that broke through the fog of the drugs, demanding attention on your exposed arm. A needle was plunged deep into the muscle in the same spot as before, Callican’s hand holding it there as he administered something into your system, the needle hurting as it moved underneath your skin. You tried to cry out, the pain troubling with how starkly you felt it but all you let out was a warbled sound before you slumped back against the wall.

The coolness of the floor was soothing on your heated skin, tears brimming in your eyes as you clawed at your arms. Trying and failing to dig out the foreign feeling that was cascading over you, your nails only succeeding in creating marks along your skin, delving no further for desperate relief. The ice-cold sensation of something traveling through your veins making you feel trapped in your own body, sweat dripping off of you as it tried to make itself feel like home again, like your own again.

You startled when a deep, modulated voice called your name. Wide eyes cast up to gauge the figure that was standing in front of you. It was vaguely familiar, your fogged up brain not able to make a definition of who it was aside from them not being a threat to you. Not caring much beyond that, you pressed your forehead flat to the ground again, the thud of it making contact reverberating all along your neck and shoulders. Groaning, you curled your legs and brought them up to your chest, hugging them close. Your arm brushed across a bandage wrapped around your thigh and you hissed as it sparked a sensation that should’ve been painful but only felt like tingles spreading across your skin.

Nerves responding to what should be pain but felt like a wave of cold prickles over your body, making you groan as they skittered all over. They didn’t do anything to combat the heat licking at your senses, if anything they made you realize how intense it felt all over again.

Vision wavering, you could hear a low buzz of something around you. Not paying it much mind, you dug your fingers into your thighs, trying to relieve the tingling that was coursing through your veins. The bandage wrinkled under your hands, pulling on the wound below and you felt the rush of blood as the cut reopened, allowing some of the intensity of the heat consuming you to wane. You signed in relief as the tingling ceased at least on that part of your body, replaced with something that was a dull throb.

Suddenly there was a weight, pulling your hands up, that insistent buzzing now louder and closer. You brought your hands up to grip at your temples, fingers digging into your hairline before you dragged them down the length of your face, over your cheeks. The action smeared a metallic tang that was too strong on your nose, and you felt your stomach lurch. Scrambling, from your side to push yourself on your knees and hang your head over the toilet basin beside you, fruitless dry heaving wracked your body.

A weight landed on your shoulders, pulling at your hair and bringing it to lay over your back away from your face. The action caused arousal to flare in the apex of your thighs, warming you even more so as you felt the need for touch so strongly, for relief from everything that was barrage on your senses, on your body. Panting with the effort it took to catch your breath, you cast a glance over your shoulder to see a shadow kneeling beside you. It was comforting, despite being so far under the fog that was occupying your mind. The thought crossed your mind that they would be able to help you, but your eyes wouldn’t focus.

Suddenly, you recalled the sensation of floating. Of being buoyant while you simply let small currents jostle your body in slow motions, swimming. The cool of salty water washing over you, surrounding you, smelling so comforting. The weightlessness of your real body intertwined with the recollection of it and you felt tears prick at your eyes as you yearned for something you had tried to forget.

“I want to go home.” You cried, voice broken and fragile, words barely spoken above a whisper. “But home doesn’t exist anymore.”

“You’re safe here, mesh’la.” He knew what you were talking about, not just the physical world you hailed from, but the feeling of childhood you both had been ripped from too soon. Things from the past that developed into complicated places and feelings, tainted by the world that was cruel to you both. He held your hair back as you cried for something that could never be again. “I’ve got you.”

As the nausea waned from you, he lifted your weak body and took you up to the space behind the control room he converted into a small room for you. A cot slotted against the right wall, the trunk he had given you up against the left, your bags and things placed atop it. As he settled you in the bed, your eyes barely opened when howling wind sounded outside the ship. The hush of sand and debris coursing through the air was loud, almost deafening and your hands gripped his arms tightly, preventing him from stepping away from you.

“Just a storm, mesh’la.” His voice was a soft display through the modulator, as he took in the wide eyes you were now looking at him with, your pupils blown out and your bottom lip caught between your teeth.

“I can’t stay with you, you’re still fighting off the sedative.”

His name sighed out on a long exhale was a good argument, but he stuck by his words.

It wouldn’t be right, to give into your request to lay beside you. He was only as strong as he could be, and he was realizing when it came to your distress he was unprepared. You were so far gone under the influence of what the medic at the small clinic had said was a sedative and muscle relaxer combination that you were most certainly high off the dose administered to you. They said it would take a few days to work out of your system, something that concerned him, but they said you should be fine. He hadn’t told them about the withdrawal you had already suffered through when he first brought you aboard. He worried for those long hours as they steadily neared.

“I’m comfortable with you, you make me feel safe.” Fingers tight around the part of his arm that didn’t don any armor, you could feel the way his muscles jumped at the contact through his shirt. It stirred arousal, to feel that underneath the armor was a person. The visage of him in nothing but his sacred helmet and sleep pants from a former time stoked flames in your lower abdomen. The broad expanse of his shoulders and chest, dark hair not a shocking but pleasant discovery that spanned across his pecs and trailed below his belly button. The way his biceps had moved as he carried you across the hold, the feel of his body against your own. The scent you had breathed deep from the crook of his neck, it was all so dizzying…so alluring, and you wanted it.  

“I know, mesh’la. But it’s for the best, I don’t want to overstep any boundaries.” His words came out even despite his muscles jumping underneath the wandering touch of your fingers as they carefully began to delve underneath the bottom of his pauldrons. He wasn’t strong enough to pry your fingers away from him despite his words saying he felt this was wrong, the play of something so pulling while you weren’t complete of mind.

“But there are none,” Your voice lilted, laughter in your tone as you smiled serenely up at him. There was something glinting in your eyes that he hadn’t seen since meeting you, something he recognized as dangerous should he ask after it. Your head knocked back, eyes roaming over his form from top to bottom as he stood beside the cot. But he didn’t need to, you gave it to him all the same in a sultry voice that he’d think about for days to come. Pitched low like it was for him and him alone. “I’d let you do anything you wanted.”

He grunted in response, feeling himself twitch below the waist. He was completely unprepared. Your eyes were so bright, your face so relaxed. Your words so earnest and alluring, the lines of your body long and enticing as you shifted atop the cot.

“I’d let you put your big, soft hands-“

“Enough!” He barked, his anxiety and worry getting the better of him. His guilt. He tore his arms out from your grasp and turned his back to the cot. Taking a deep breath to center himself, to collect himself, he could hear you shift behind him. He worried you were going to reach for him, play on his conflicting emotions in your altered state. The guilt he was feeling burned in him, to think such things of you when you had done nothing to suggest you would take from anyone in such a way. You weren’t wholly yourself right now, he was completely unprepared for who you were under the influence.

He spared one last look over his shoulder before he left and his resolve almost crumbled. Your bottom lip was trembling, your hands wrapped around yourself as you sat up, hunched over as your eyes shone with unshed tears. A complete shift from the energy you had just been using to entice him, an entire shift to your mood. Because of his reaction to it.

All he could picture for the rest of the evening as he busied himself setting up the ship to withstand a sandstorm was that last glance he had taken of you and the one of you sprawled on the bathroom floor with bloody handprints staining your face and legs as you fought against the drugs pumping through your system.  

Din could hear you stirring about, in the space of the ship beyond his personal quarters. The Child was asleep, exhausted from the unsettling events of the night. His quiet snores comforting Din in his agitated and anxious state. Sighing, he kicked the blanket from where it covered him. His armor was piled neatly beside the cot, some comfortable sleep he thought would help only resulted in him laying and staring into the darkness through the visor on his helmet.

It had been…alarming to see you ricochet back and forth between such extreme emotions. All of them amplified by the drugs in your system, something he felt tortured over, as if he had been the one to administer them to you. He sat with his legs over the edge of the cot, bare feet flat on the cool metal of the ship’s flooring. His mind replaying the events even as he tried his best to shove them out and move past them.

‘“Took you long enough, Mando.” Callican’s voice projected around the hangar.

“Looks like I’m calling the shots now.” The mechanic slowly walked out from the dark interior of the ship, steps light on the metal of the ramp. Callican behind her with a blaster shoved into her back and the Child in his arms. “Partner.”

“Drop your blaster and raise ‘em.” The younger man paused at the top of the ramp, not stepping further, with the threat aim of a blaster trained on him. Din didn’t make a sound as he tossed the blaster in his hand to the ground in front of him. It landed with a dull sound as he raised his arms out to show he was further unarmed. Slowly, he dragged his palms over his torso as he moved them up, grasping at a flare with his palm. He placed his hands on the back of his helmet, the Child cooing as if he could sense his caretaker.

“Cuff him.” He shoved the blaster into the mechanic’s back twice, urging her to move down the ramp and toward where he stood.

“You’re a Guild traitor, Mando.” Callican voiced the very thing that echoed in Din’s mind every time he was alone, but when faced with the soft coos of the Child, or a brightening of your face, it didn’t seem like such a tragic thing. “And I’m willing to bet that this here is the target you helped escape.”

“Fennec was right. Bringing you in won’t just make me a member of the Guild, it’ll make me legendary.”’

Anger at the overly confident actions of a younger man he had seen a glimpse of himself in had him shoving off from the cot. He had been fooled by the earnest attitude of Callican wanting to make something of himself, to prove to whoever had told him he would amount to nothing that he could be something, to make a difference in the world by bringing in trash that was sought after for their indiscretions with the Guild. The door of the small space hushed closed behind him as he padded toward the makeshift table.

Making sure that the ship was still locked down and there was no chance of anyone sneaking aboard or disengaging the settings, he moved about the space freely,

He hadn’t cleaned up the mess he came back to yet, so focused on getting you comfortable and making sure you were alright. That the Child was alright, not too worked up by seeing you taken down and not knowing where he had been must’ve been hard on such a young one. Ad’ika, you had begun to call him, the term holding endearment and care when it passed through your lips for the first time over the comm link. His chest had hurt at the call, the sounds of you moving about his ship comfortably, the sounds of ad’ika cooing in the background.

It had been so domestic, a feeling so foreign to him and yet….it had felt like it had always been as such. It had felt so normal, like a facet of his life that shone when spotted and simply was something his life was made of, that he was capable of. His chest had hurt… and for a fleeting moment he had thought of his parents. The fast beating of his heart had been loud in his ears as he tried to keep his voice even to a listening Callican, lest he pick too much up from the exchange. The lightweight feeling of the memory twisted into something darker as he recalled the way Callican spoke of you.

‘“But it is rather telling, which quarries you decided to keep all to yourself.” Toro smirked at him, overly confident with no reason to be. The deep scratch marks that were angry and bright on his neck displaying as much, that he could barely handle his own against a woman he ambushed and sedated.

“The one on the ship must keep your bed rather warm, seems like a good exchange for the bounty you’re missing out on.”

“She was so unsuspecting, said some really interesting stuff while the drugs were working through her system. Told me she would make it worth my while if I were to let you and this thing go.” Callican jostled the Child in his arms, causing louder sounds of distress to bounce into the tense air. 

Din seethed at the filth falling from the younger man’s mouth, baring his teeth underneath the helmet and he pictured tearing him limb from limb, pummeling him until he was nothing more than a collection of broken bones and bruises for even thinking of laying a hand you. He must’ve taken you completely off guard, to not get thrown about or struck down by your saber. The mental image had his hands fisting at his sides, of you just standing there busy with something only to be drugged and tied up all before you even knew what was happening, where he was.’

The helmet hissed as he disengaged it with a bare hand and the weight of it clunked as he set it atop the makeshift table. Running a hand through his thick locks that stretched to curl about his ears and the nape of his neck, he pressed the button that opened the panel storing the scant few kitchen wares he owned. He ignored the hotplate in favor of turning on the caf maker. It was already set up, the water full up to the line indicating it would make exactly one cup. The drawer he opened for a pod of the compressed caf was full as well, despite not being able to remember the last time he even thought of seeking them out in a marketplace or shop.

He tried to picture you flowing through an open marketplace, hair braided as it had been the last time he had seen you fully conscious and aware of your senses. Bringing the pod up to his nose to inhale the rich scent of the caf, he let his mind wander as he closed his eyes and thought of you.

Cautious but aware of your surroundings, polite but not overly talkative to vendors. Kind enough to warrant free samples and discounted prices, toting around a large collection of wares you deemed important. He wondered where you had even gotten the credits from, for the things still laid out on the makeshift table around his helmet. Smile soft and small as you tried out all the different fruits and felt the sun on your skin. But the image bled into the one he had come back to.

‘The metal rings you had been fastening into armor were scattered around the floor of the ship, crunching underneath Din’s boots as he slowly advanced inside. It was dark, all the lights and mechanisms shut off, the only light in the space was what sunlight could sneak in around his frame in the doorway. His steps faltered when he spotted your unconscious form by the ladder leading to the control room. Your hair loose and fanning around you, your hands and feet were bound with rope, the knots looking tight around them, you were on your side, arms pulled behind your back and legs bent at the knee.

Bruises could be seen up and down the length of your arms, visible without the cloak he had gotten you, it was shucked off and crumpled beside you. As if you had been fighting and someone had snatched it, pulling it from your frame forcefully. There was a prominent, irritated spot on the outside of your arm, indicative of someone stabbing a needle deep into the skin there.

Kneeling beside you, he turned started to untie the rope, but it seemed to make the knots wind tighter around your wrists. Growling low in his chest in frustration, he took the knife from inside his boot and cut it away, rubbing his fingers along the marks to sooth them as best he could. He did the same with the ties around your ankles before turning you gently onto your back with a soft call of your name.

Faint whimpering startled him, your body jostling beneath his hands as he removed the rope from around your limbs. You didn’t stir beyond that, lost to the world that the contents of the needle had plunged you into. It was then that he noticed the rip on your thigh, the deep cut already beginning to scab around blood-stained skin. It must’ve happened hours ago, but you didn’t wake.

He stayed beside you, stretching to reach over to pick up the syringe you that was discarded on the ground. It looked small in his hands, but the casing was empty, not even a stray drop rolling around inside. He gripped it tight in his palm, the leather of his gloves crinkling with the force. He pocketed it despite wanting to crush the glass in his hand, to hear the crunch of it as he destroyed the very reason you were unconscious beside him on the floor of the Crest.’

He had to concentrate on placing the pod into the machine before he activated the brew to begin, not wanting to wreck the one thing you had been comfortable enough to use as your own on the ship. He had to focus on not slamming the mug into the space below to catch it. As it began to sputter and drain the water from the storage reservoir, he leaned his hands on the lip of the small inlaid counter and hung his head. The action stretched out his shoulders, underneath his long sleeve shirt, popping where kinks had developed from his ride back into the city.

The wind howled outside of the ship and the caf dripped into the mug as he turned around and began to clean the metal rings scattered across the floor. There were hundreds of them, but he managed to get them all. The different sizes all found themselves in the same pouch, Din not having the energy to separate them. He contemplated just getting you a whole new collection when he spotted the sketches you had drawn up of what you were making. It was armor. A set of pauldrons made of chain mail you were creating yourself with the rings.

The detail and notes on the pages of a small book looked professional and it intrigued him. Is this what you had been raised to do? Or something you had taken up after leaving home, after the attack on the temple as a way to make credits? As he flipped through to the next page, he was greeted by sketches for a design that looked masculine. The top of the figure’s body only went so far as their chin, but it was dusted with scruff much like his own face was. The outline of the figure’s body an exact replica of how he would look without the bulk of the beskar armor.

He closed the book, not wanting to invade your privacy any further than he already had, but his heart was thumping rapidly in his chest as he realized you had been thinking about him.

His mind replayed the way you had been so unnervingly still even after he had untied you from your restraints. He had moved you atop his cot, hoping that you would wake and recognize that you were safe in his personal space. As he had been tending to ad’ika, talking over with the mechanic about waiting out the storm in the hangar, he had hated stepping away from where he could keep an eye and ear out for you. As he had trudged back up the ramp, it was closing and locking just as he heard your muffled cries in the fresher. He had quickly placed the small sleeping figure in the small hammock before going to you, only to find you having a fit on the floor. It had been…painful to see you so worked up and in such a state. Fingers digging into your own skin, over scars he hadn’t known you possessed, that you had carved into yourself…

He shook his head, not wanting to think about that and he began to move once again.

He gathered up all of the tools and metal pieces you had been working with and placed them in a crate, so it would all be in one place for you when you were feeling better. The caf warmed the mug he cupped with both his hands as he sat there and listened to the storm rage on.

Groaning, you stretched a handout to feel for the blanket that had fallen down by your feet. You had all but shoved it off during the night, too hot underneath its confines. You could hear ambient noise from down below, securely in your bed, in your space, in your room. All things Din had provided for you while you had been wrestling with reality while your body rode out the wave of drugs and subsequent withdrawals. You had shut yourself in the room as soon as you were alert enough to handle being on your own, embarrassment making your skin burn from the inside out and shame bubble up to join it.

Rain pelted down on the ship, pinging as thunder rumbled overhead. The sandstorm you vaguely remembered from two nights before delved into a thunderstorm in the early hours of the morning. It ate most of the day after and yesterday, allowing you an excuse to stay in your new room and keep to yourself as the ship needed to stay stationed there at the hangar. The thunder had woken you up some time ago, and you lay atop the cot trying to recall everything that had happened the last day and a half.

Your hands idly traced the scars along your thighs, the recent indents of your grappling nails, the bandage around the right one shielding a tender cut from the open air. You recalled digging your hands into the skin there, as you often did in moments of weakness, of needing to feel something other than the emotions storming inside. You recalled rubbing your hands over your face, of pressing it to the cool metal of the floor, of writhing around as fever and chills warred over the territory of your skin.

The white-hot pinpricks of anxiety could be felt over the entirety of your body, making you restless.

There was a sudden knock at the door to your space, but you turned around to face the wall your cot was pushed up against and curled up. You feigned sleep as the door opened, footsteps nearly silent as the Mandalorian entered. You could hear the rustling of his clothing as he kneeled down beside the cot, a hand resting on your shoulder.

“I know you’re awake.”

You shifted until his hand fell to the top of the blankets. You pulled the blanket up further, prompting him to stand up. You could feel his eyes roam over your form, hiding in the blankets and not daring to cut your eyes at him lest he see something you didn’t want him to in your current state. The motion caused your hair to fall over your forehead, some of it resting on your cheek.

“You’re not feeling well.” A feather light caress of bare fingers moved the fallen hair from your face, you tried not to startle too much, not having heard the man move behind you. They brushed over your forehead, feeling for something that you weren’t sure of. When he made a small remark about your temperature, you didn’t respond, continuing to stare at the wall in front of you.

“You…rejected me.” You whispered after a beat of somewhat tense silence.

“You were drugged, you were high on whatever Callican dosed you with.” His voice was even, as if he was trying to keep it from displaying too much of what was going through his own mind.

“I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t know how to tell you what I want. If I’m even allowed to…”

“I don’t want anything you aren’t willing to offer. If you wish to remain cordial, I will adhere to that. If you wish to allow casual touches, I will adhere to that. If you wish to…explore other parameters of touch, I will adhere to that.”

“You won’t. I’m tainted, I’m dirty, I’m used.”

“You are you, and I admire who that is.” He didn’t dismiss your words, the thoughts that plagued you every time you thought about the things that happened to you in your life. He took them and let them sit in the air, let you voice them even if he didn’t agree with them.

“Strength, abilities, weapons, Mandalorians put so much worth on those. Admiration on skills.”

“Listen to me and hear me,” Din’s hand reached for one of your own, bringing it up to clasp his ungloved hand with your own. His thumb brushed the back of your hand, sparking tingles down the line of your arm. He had sat himself on the edge of the cot, to reach out for you. His fingers were warm against yours, bringing forth a wash of heat up to your cheeks, coloring them for him to be witness to. That such a simple touch from him could stir such a response was dizzying. “Yes, my religion places importance on those things. But you are the most important factor. You are important to me, and I will show you in any way you wish for me to.”

“What if…I get scared…or nervous…self-conscious.”

“Then we will share the same sentiment. My body…is not perfect and I have never shared any part of myself with anyone. Well…” He trailed off, modulator relaying a deep exhale the told you of his trepidations and worries.

You shifted under the blankets, sitting up to face him. His armor was gleaming in the faint light, and you wondered if he had tended to it recently. It was a comforting image, of him sitting at the makeshift table, armor in hand as he gave it all his attention and meticulously buffed out any indentations or scratches, polishing it to make it shine. The love he had for the precious metal of his people, the adoration he placed on caring for it, the pride he took in wearing a full suit of it, of having been the one to return so much of it to his own people.

You mulled over his words, aware that it was a conversation that needed to happen. Some things that needed to be addressed, on both your parts. You lifted your eyes from the cuirass over his chest, to the visor with a slightly furrowed brow. He needed to speak plainly, as did you.

“Yes, you have.”

“Yes, that... I have, but only a handful of times. With consenting partners and with nothing in mind other than chasing a base need.” His words were expected, he was a grown man, free to be who and what he wanted within the parameters of his Creed. You didn’t fault him, but it just made all of your own feelings so much more complicated, jealously flaring at the idea of him with another person, touching another person, wanting another person. You pushed it down, not willing to delve into that just yet.

“This is new… for me…these feelings. These desires,” You ducked your head, bashful. His other hand reached up and tucked under your chin, bringing your head back up for him to rest the forehead of the helmet against your own. When he leaned back, the heat of his gaze through the visor was scorching, the direct attention making you flustered paired with your confession. “And I know that might be…daunting for you. A big…commitment…for you.”

“My life is about commitments, for my Creed, for my people, for my work.” His hand squeezed around yours, bringing them to hold to his chest. The armor was cool against your skin, but it was nice to combat the flush you were suddenly overcome with. You felt your breath get caught in your throat as he paused to gather his thoughts. “I would be honored to make one to you. If you’d allow me to.”

The tears were sudden, the feeling of being seen, of connecting with someone.

Two more days of the incessant storm brought thunder, pelting rain, and blinding washes of sand over the city before it lightened up. You had remained in your room most of the time, body still going through the motions working the drugs out. Din gave you the space you needed but had asked you each time he fed ad’ika if you wanted to join them for the meal. It brought a smile to your tired features to see the small child enjoy spending time surrounded by you both, safe and happy.

The tabac was soothing as you inhaled deeply, a thin cigarra held between two fingers. A bad habit, one that you had only picked up to stave off the feelings of loneliness, something to fill the void that had been your life on the run. Slipping to the market for a quick trip while there was a lull with the storm with a quick wave to Din had allowed you the opportunity to track some down. He had been busy, nodding at you as he held a large panel of metal for Pelli to weld to the side of the ship. A large piece of debris picked up by the strong winds had grated harshly and caused some damage.

“Don’t.” Was all you said as you felt a figure come around the side of the ship toward you.

“Wasn’t going to say anything.”

“It’s a bad habit, I know. But it’s helping,” You blew the smoke out with a long exhale, watching as it wafted in the still prevalent wind. “With the withdrawals.”

The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, it was just a lull as you both mulled over things in your respective minds.

“I think I’m through the worst of it, might take ad’ika to the marketplace to get something hot for dinner.”

“He’d like that,”

“Maybe…you could come too?”

“He’d like that too.”

“And you?” A gentle, hesitant question.

“I’d like that.” His voice rumbled closer that it had just moments ago as he stepped toward you, one of his arms reaching. His gloved hand was a comfort as it brushed your bare arm, fingerless gloves and vambrace left atop the crate in your room. Warmth bloomed in your chest as you turned away from him to take a long pull of the cigarra.

“Hmm, but I’m paying.” Mouth lifted up at one corner as you smirked over at him, eyes taking in the shine of his armor in the dull light of the suns.

“Is that right?”

“You gave Pelli everything you had, everything you took off Callican, no?”

“The mechanic?”

“Please tell me you knew her name.” A stern edge to your voice had Din’s stomach jolting as he gazed at you through the visor. You had never used a tone like that with him and it was rather endearing to know you were comfortable enough to do so now.

“She didn’t introduce herself.” Was his flat response and you snorted at the way he worded it.

“Neither did you! You strutted down the ramp and fired on that poor droid as greeting.”

“That droid was going to mess something up, didn’t you notice how shifty it was?”

“Shifty? Kriff, Din, you’re…something.”

“So are you, mesh’la.” His hand that had been caressing you gripped and turned you. His other reaching out to knock the last bit of the cigarra from your hands to the ground where he scuffed it out with his boot. You let him move you, wanting to see what he was up to, how he played along with your harmless teasing. You let him pull you to him, chest to chest and he rested the forehead of the helmet against your own. “Something good.”

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taglist: @strawberri-blonde @js-favnanadoongi @moonknight-s-cumdump

dividers by the lovely @/saradika, saradika-graphics

[aroaceleovaldez]

So, in your last post about the Percy Jackson TV show, I felt you lacked a few pieces of information/points. While it is true that the CGI in the film is pore and not constructed well, please note that while they have a large budget Disney has made a lot of restrictions to the show. In the original scrips there was a significantly larger amount of violence that would have needed more CGI. This was latter edited out of the script due to both restrictions and budget cuts for other parts in the show(sadly). Also to bring into prospective Sea of monsters the movie was made 10 years ago. Inflation has juristically affected the way money is used in films. Another thing to note is typically movie budgets are less than TV shows because they only are filming for one larger block of time. TV however they can take years meaning the acters need to be paid even for the time off set. This is not to say movies cannot take years, but it is to show that TV shows are filmed longer. I would also like to say I am genuinely not trying to be rude or unkind about your opinion and thoughts on the subject. I am just someone who has a different insight into the topic because of the things I know about the topic (I myself, am an actor and for the most part I think this is why the CGI was not the best as well as some of the script work). 

I did actually calculate inflation for Sea of Monsters versus the PJO TV show. We know the PJO TV show allegedly had a budget of $12-15 million per episode. For comparison, this is the type of budget Disney+ usually uses for stuff like The Mandalorian. I was doing a generous underestimate for the entire season which comes out to $96mil (12mil per episode x 8 episodes). Sea of Monsters' budget was 90mil. Here's that inflation:

So lil over $120mil. Going for a top estimate for s1 of the show (15x8) that's $120mil. And as far as I'd heard that may also not include stuff like budget for casting for the show. They are still roughly in similar ballparks.

Regardless of this - as an animator, i can tell you there is no excuse for that wonky CGI trident other than it being extremely quickly done. That's literally a transform error, like ctrl+t type stuff. That is a lazy and cheap trident, probably because Disney notoriously overworks and cheaps out with their CGI. The CGI problems in the show are majority because Disney's being cheap about it. This shows in nearly all the CGI in every episode.

If they had to remove violence from the script and so remove CGI scenes with it, then theoretically they should have more room in the budget for more or better CGI where it already is in the show. That money doesn't just vanish. Changing that in the script gives them less of an excuse, actually.

Also, as i mentioned in my previous post - if you don't want to CGI hydrokinesis, don't pick the franchise where the main character's defining power is hydrokinesis. If you can't have much violence, DON'T PICK THE GREEK MYTHOLOGY SERIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER BEHEADS TWO PEOPLE IN THE FIRST BOOK AND IT ONLY GETS BLOODIER FROM THERE. You cannot have PJO without some level of violence. It's kind of very inherent to the series. Rick actually talks in his original Teaching Guide for The Lightning Thief about how, in argument against attempts to ban TLT (in this specific instance for "being too violent"), that monsters in the books poof into golden dust for a reason, because then they haven't "died." There is no blood. They can and will come back. Because it's fantasy. That is the excuse for all the violence. Of which there otherwise technically is a lot of.

If you are doing live action PJO you are going to have to have some amount of violence (and there is absolutely a level that is perfectly suitable for a PG13 audience. The show right now is leagues below that level. PG13 just means parental guidance for under 13 - this majority has to do with concerns about children under 13 replicating behavior on-screen. Past 13 kids know better than to do that, which is why that rating is a thing. There are plenty of film/media/etc that are way more gory and violent and are still PG13). You are going to have to CGI monsters/creatures to some degree regularly (alongside demigod powers like Percy's hydrokinesis even more regularly). And between those two things, characters are going to have to look like they're physically interacting with the CGI at times. Disney is capable of doing this. Disney does have the budget for this for the show. They're not doing it because they're being cheap. Disney has done this before and does it regularly. This is not anything new. It entirely has to do with CGI not having as many unions. They have no excuses. If they didn't expect to run into these problems then they clearly did no planning for what adapting the series would entail and didn't think at all of what the series actually featured before diving into it. And they have no excuse for that! That is step one!

[yonpote]

I feel like people are conflating continuing the joke with invading their privacy… like no one is stalking them or sneaking pictures or bothering their friends and family asking about them we’re just continuing their joke that they set up within our fandom space. Which is exactly as we should be doing imo

yeah exactly. like i think when outsiders dont understand that we are in on the bit that makes some sense, but when it's PHANNIES especially phannies who joined post coming out???? it seems strange.

oh i didnt really explain why this kinda behavior is homophobic as well. (disclaimer: me calling an action homophobic is not the same as me calling an individual homophobic.) a lot of ppl use pj and sophie as a direct comparison straight couple example. pj has only directly called sophie his girlfriend once, and it was in the context reading someone's poorly written article about him lmao. otherwise, its known that they met in uni, have lived together since then, have worked on nearly every kickthepj project together, and generally their on screen energy is really sweet and funny. they also have a cat together and call themselves a family. it's not a stretch to say they're together in the slightest. in fact, it is just natural to assume so.

BUT when dnp who are now publicly out, have been very open about how much they mean to each other, have lived together since dan was in uni, have worked on nearly every project together (even in solo projects the other would help out behind the scenes), have a clear on camera chemistry together, had co-parented a fish, a pigeon, and several houseplants and possibly plan to get a dog or other pet in the future... suddenly it's wrong to assume anything.

i understand the fear that may come from having been in the phandom since when they were closeted and it was much harder to talk about it without seeming like youre aligned with stalkers or ppl who harassed their families or dnp themselves to reveal more information, but thats not the case anymore, and ESPECIALLY if you discovered them post-gay, it's such a flimsy argument to say anyone is breaching privacy in that way.

now there are still some like unspoken basic decency and boundary rules. you probably shouldnt be @'ing them in your smutfics or even your pretty innocent theories about them being super duper in gay love. dnp themselves understand that if they aren't being @ tagged in something, it's probably not meant for them to see, and even acknowledged that in the twitter memes video. but us talking about it in our own spaces, especially on tumblr where they arent on as much but also on twitter BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT THEYRE NOT MEANT TO SEE IT, is not the same as being like hey @/danielhowell @/amazingphil do you fuck nasty i gotta know if you fuck nasty. (but even if i were to do that, i feel like its very clearly a joke lmao)

so like just dont worry about it, if you still personally dont like seeing ppl talk abt this stuff regardless, you can mute and block people, you can blacklist tags, you can curate your own experience to fit your needs and you dont need to harass other people into suiting your needs.

[thosewildcharms]

Ugh the comparisons are so annoying. You’ll still find people insisting Shane was just ahead of Rick in terms of adapting to a brutal world. When it’s clear the ZA broke Shane, he never really measured his choices and didn’t wanted to help anyone at all. He was a coward and acted first as a coping mechanism not because he was an efficient leader.

say that anon! it's honestly not only annoying but a little troubling to me when people compare rick to shane or worse, n*gan because what do you mean shane was right and rick needed to be more like him? what do you mean if we watched the show from negan's pov we'd be on his side and see rick as the villain? no the fuck he wasn't and no the fuck i would not!

the show establishes very early that yes, violence is necessary. and since that's the case, to differentiate between the rick/the people we're supposed to love and the actual villains we have to look at their motivation. rick has been incredibly violent, but his motivation is always to protect, not only his immediately family, but anyone who becomes part of his community. the group flocked to rick instead of shane from the very beginning because he cared about everybody's welfare, unlike shane whose motivations were ultimately selfish. i always think about his last scene with rick, how shane says he's better for lori and carl, like he wants to possess what is rick's - hence why he sexually assaults lori in the CDC. he didn't love her, he felt he was owed her. the way shane so quickly and easily abandoned all sense of right and wrong and adjusted to brutality was a red flag, not something to emulate. to reiterate the parallel they drew between shane and beale in the towl finale, shane was willing to sacrifice other people (his own people!) for his own survival. we should see this as a bad thing. by contrast we know, empirically, that rick would sooner sacrifice himself than anyone he considered himself responsible for (see: the bridge). the argument that rick needed to learn to be more like shane just doesn't track for me: we saw in nebraska when he killed those two men in the bar without blinking that he was perfectly capable of doing what needed to be done. we saw it when he was the one to step up and kill sophia when she came out of the barn while shane just looked at his feet. if anything, killing shane taught rick just how far rick was willing to go. as he said in his dream sequence in 9x05, it had to be him. he had to stay alive to keep protecting the people he loved no matter what, even if it meant killing his best friend. that's his motivation.

as for n*egan. well. i can't believe in the year 2024 people are still not understanding that rick fucking grimes would never have subordinates, let alone force them to refer to themselves by using his own name. he'd never kill a child to prove a point and force submission, and would never, ever force women to become his wives and have sex with him whenever he wants via coercion because rick grimes would never sexually assault someone. do you honestly think daryl, glenn, maggie, carol, hershel, anyone in team family would have stayed with rick if he was capable of any of that? do you think michonne would have let him within fifty feet of her, let alone put an entire baby in her if that was the type of person he was? the same michonne who arguably has the best instincts of anyone on the show? who sniffed out the governer's bullshit immediately? no. when shown an alternate reality where she became a savior instead of part of team family, michonne called it hell. she only feels safe when she's with rick.

n*gan's whole thing reeks of egotism and a need for power - seeing his people as cogs in a machine meant to be put to work and terrorized and abused only to be told it's all for their own benefit. the saviors are a cult, whereas rick genuinely sees and treats his people as his family. rick's people not only love him, they're not afraid of him. they know that when he does go too far they are safe to tell him so, and that he will listen (even if it takes him a minute). rick admits he deserved it when michonne knocked him out at alexandria, and being a farmer at the prison was basically the apocalyptic equivalent of wearing the grippy socks and he did it without complaint. he lets himself be guided. as hershel said, he gets to come back, and he always does, because for rick ego and power have nothing to do with why he does the things he does. he doesn't enjoy it - it traumatizes him and he has to recover from it. this is not a person on a power trip who needs to be eliminated, but a person who is respected and as a result cared for because he does what needs to be done - things other people might not be capable of doing - but for the right reasons.

all of this is why the towl finale had to happen that way btw. not just because it was set up from the very first episode from a writing/narrative standpoint (and i'll let the much more qualified @starfruit-green speak on the socio-political aspects) but because there's no way rick and michonne grimes would ever hear the words coming out of beale's mouth and not immediately lunge. that finale painstakingly spelled out, slowly while using small words so people could understand, that rick and michonne's sword, their violence, is the necessary kind that protects, that eliminates the real threat. beale, shane, n*gan? they are the threat.

anyway. thank you to @starfruit-green and @redding for the encouragement <3

[see-arcane]

Well. I just read the Robert Eggers Nosferatu (2024) script in its nascent 2016 form. Quick and haunted thanks to @nosferattusx2 for making me aware of its existence. It’s here on the Internet Archive if you want to give it a look yourselves.

I don’t know if it’s legit, but it seems precariously close to the trailers. Even if it is the real thing, it’s also an eight-year-old rendition of the script, so there’s no guarantee of it being an exact mirror of what will hit theaters. That being said?

It’s. A lot.

SPOILERS BELOW

I won’t regurgitate the whole thing here, just the main bits that stood out to me for better or worse:

For a guy who says he's very against the sexy romantic vampire trope, Eggers makes sure to have everyone getting scared and horny over Orlok at every opportunity. I will give him grudging kudos for not confining this strictly to Ellen or otherwise Just the Ladies~. The thing opens on Knock stroking himself to the concept of the guy and Thomas gets his own erotic/assault-flavored attack from Orlok at the castle with future allusions framing it in a distinctly sexual framework. Ellen is set up as the ~darkly tempted Eve to Orlok’s Adam~ but it’s not aggressively mega-hetero about it. Progress?

Thomas arrives in Orlok territory and immediately gets swarmed and pickpocketed by smelly-masculine Romani people (referred to strictly by the g word through the script) bar the one pretty young teenage girl one who we later get to see riding naked on a horse because only naked virgin girls can lead the group to hidden vampires for their destruction. Yeah.

…

Bobby Egg, I can get behind the VVitch using seductive evil weirdness and I see why mermaids would swim around topless, but. What the fuck? And also follow-up what the fuckery to the whole portrayal of these guys, period? On that note.

Here we see the first example of Thomas being Assigned Twink at Comparison to All the Other Men. Eggers frames him as insecure beside the masculine Romani and has a future character refer to him as a ‘dandy’ (despite that being a term reserved for men who were well-off, not just effeminate/less than manfully manful). To Bobby Egg’s slight credit, Thomas is not portrayed negatively or milksop-shaped because of this; it’s just. Kind of there. All the time.

Count Orlok’s description isn’t bad. Very ominous, very classic gothic-supernatural. I do appreciate that he’s explicitly given more corpse-like attributes, making him seem like a mobile cadaver more than anything else. And Eggers does keep him creepy—no stealthy Count Fuckula spit-shining on him.

Shovel scene sort of happens as an original Dracula nod, but with no payoff. An attempt was made and thrown away.

Ellen. Oh, Ellen. Such a double-edged piece of work here. On the one hand, this version of the script implies that she isn’t doing the classic bastardized Mina thing of deciding her lame lameo human husband isn’t good enough for her and she needs herself a REAL MAN. There’s a lot of the original Thomas and Ellen’s genuine love and regard shown in the couple…

…up to a point. Eggers writes them a very very ugly and basically wholly OOC argument to do with Thomas claiming he wed her out of pity and saying she ought to have been sent to a madhouse when she was young, which itself was a follow-up to Ellen yelling that Orlok’s work is all his fault in a weirdly victim-blamey way and a scene that felt less like a badly done seduction and more like she was trying to actually assault him. They seemingly both reconcile after this, but like…what the entire hell?

Okay, to get this out of the way—I think Eggers is trying to lean hard into the ‘well in the actual time and place of the story things would be so grimdark and depressing, so it has to be nasty even between the loving main couple, and it adds to the horror-misery of it all, and it makes Ellen’s dark temptation~ more reasonable!’ thing. We can see a lot of that in how he sets Ellen up to have a history of dark thoughts, a lot of stigma surrounding her sanity/insanity, and there’s some very cruel medical ‘treatment’ she gets subjected to during her fits while waiting for Thomas and/or Orlok to arrive. Naturally those fits are all sexual/orgasmically twitchy because of course. Eggers is very much trying to set Ellen up as sympathetic in her situation and as a kind of next evolution to the Francisified Mina character who wants to fuck Dracula/Orlok/Death so so bad~

And then we get to the Van Helsing stand-in, Von Franz, and he is…oh man. 90% of his bits are fun. Interesting. The last 10% would make Abraham van Helsing in every iteration punch through the fourth wall and beat him to death with their library books. Surprise, Von Franz and Ellen both secretly colluded to set up the sunrise trap that will inevitably kill Ellen via Orlok feeding on her into the dawn. Von Franz purposefully leads the vampire hunter crew astray, including Thomas. When Thomas discovers this—from Knock who he mistakenly staked in Orlok’s place due to a mix-up with the coffin—Von Franz laughs as Thomas and Dr. Sievers the pseudo-Jack Seward make a run back to the house to try and save her.

The climax comes with Ellen and Orlok playing out the original Nosferatu ending. She dies happily cradling Orlok’s carcass. Thomas reaches her bedside and collapses in despair. The script closes on Von Franz showing up with a lilac bouquet and putting his hand on Thomas’ shoulder as he grieves, still unmoved from the bedside. Close on Ellen’s dead face ‘at peace.’

Somehow the scene doesn’t end with Thomas wringing Von Franz’ neck.   

There’s a lot more to read in there, obviously, but those were just all the big lumps sticking out of it to me.

I will grudgingly say it is not the absolute worst-case scenario I was afraid of. It’s not what I was hoping for—but that is keeping in line with Dracula and Nosferatu-adjacent media, per tradition. I do still want to see the film, I do want to like the finished product, even with the worrisome second trailer and sundry interviews throwing up red flags. Like The Last Voyage of the Demeter, it is at least an earnest attempt at taking this vein of classic gothic vampire horror seriously as a horror story.

But also.

I would really like directors to stop turning the Mina-Ellen figure into the vampire-pining gothic blowup doll for the latest ‘Bold and Subversive’ take #1654237 of GIRL AND THE DRACULA DO KISSY SEXY ROMANCE TIMES. An impossible dream, I guess.   

[mxtxfanatic]

Jin Ling and the Curse of Escalating Abuse

Seeing the complex nature of the relationship between Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng, I wanted to cover the topic of escalating abuse of the uncle towards his nephew, as Jiang Cheng is abusive towards Jin Ling throughout the entire story but that abuse shifts as the story goes on. Note: this is not an essay about how abusive people can love their victims still. I know Jiang Cheng loves his nephew, but that love means nothing in the face of him continuously being the force that drives the young boy to danger. Love does not absolve abuse. Moving on: though many of the scenes I mention are gone over in multiple translations, I will only be using one source per scene for my argument, as none of them are worded radically different. I will, however, include the other translations under the cut for anyone who wants to see them for comparison.

In the early section of the novels, we learn two important bits of information about how Jin Ling views his maternal uncle, Jiang Cheng:

From as early as Jin Ling could remember, he had never seen Jiang Cheng’s face make the expression it was currently making. His uncle, who had led the distinguished Yunmeng Jiang Clan alone since the man had been young, had been cold, severe, and gloomy for years and years on end. Not a single lenient or merciful word left Jiang Cheng’s mouth if he could help it, nor was he ever willing to offer charity and kindness.

–Chapt. 23: Malice I, fanyiyi

Angrily, [Jin Ling] leapt onto his feet and pulled out his sword on the spot. “How dare you hit me! Even my uncle’s never hit me!”

Surprised, Wei Wuxian said, “Really? But doesn’t he say he’s going to break your legs all the time?”

“He’s just saying that!” Jin Ling raged.

–Chapt. 24: Malice II, fanyiyi

From Jin Ling’s perspective, his maternal uncle is always acerbic and never kind, but he has never been physically abusive to Jin Ling. Plus though he often threatens Jin Ling with physical abuse–threatening to break his legs or use Zidian on him–Jin Ling considers this all talk. In fact, Jiang Cheng’s abuse of Jin Ling stays firmly in the realm of verbal and emotional for most of the story. His most common insults to throw at his nephew are about Jin Ling appearing unworthy of his position as Jin (and Jiang) heir, in almost a mimicry of how Madam Yu would tell him that he was unworthy of being the Jiang heir in comparison to Wei Wuxian:

Frowning, he said, “Jin Ling, how much time are you going to waste? Do you need me to go over there and invite you back? Look at your sorry state—why the hell haven’t you gotten back up!?”

–Chapt. 7: Pride II, fanyiyi

“‘Fine’?” Jiang Cheng said. “You look like you took a tumble in a muddy ditch—you call that ‘fine?’ Aren’t you embarrassed to be wearing your clan’s uniform? Go back and change immediately! Out with it—what did you run into today?”

–Chapt. 23: Malice I, fanyiyi

He is also shown to have a bad habit of lashing out instead of expressing any emotion that could be considered nice, just like Jin Ling says:

Upon seeing that Jin Ling was fine, Jiang Cheng’s heart crashed back to earth like a boulder. Immediately furious, he said, “Didn’t you bring a signal? Don’t you know to fire it if you encounter something like this? Don’t try to show off! Come here!”

–Chapt. 10: Pride V, fanyiyi

And because of Jiang Cheng’s outward lack of concern for Jin Ling’s health and safety–prefering barbs over comfort–Jin Ling refuses to be vulnerable with him, keeping his fears, concerns, disappointments, and even positive emotions like relief to himself. Outwardly, he lashes out, just like he has learned to do from his maternal uncle:

Since Jin Ling hadn’t caught the soul eating maiden, he was also angry. “Wasn’t it you who told me I had to take the thing down no matter what?! You told me if I didn’t get it, I should never come see you again!”

–Chapt. 10: Pride V, fanyiyi

Annoyed, Jin Ling said, “I already told you, I didn’t run into anything! It was just a fall. The whole journey was a waste of time.”

–Chapt. 23: Malice I, fanyiyi

The one who called was Jiang Cheng, who stood near the edge. Still teary-eyed, as soon as Jin Ling saw his uncle, he immediately wiped his face, sniffing. He looked here and there and finally made up his mind to fly over, landing at Jiang Cheng’s side.

Jiang Cheng grabbed him, “What happened to you? Who did this to you?!”

Jin Ling rubbed his eyes roughly, refusing to speak up.

–Chapt. 84: Loyalty, exr

Who can blame him, though? Almost every life-threatening situation Jin Ling finds himself in is a direct result of Jiang Cheng’s cruelty towards him: from attempting to fight to goddess statue without calling for help, to ending up almost suffocated in the walls of the Nie Clan Saber Hall, and even to him winding up in Yi City:

Jiang Cheng’s next words were wrapped in thorns. “Why are you still standing there? Are you waiting for prey to rush toward you and stick themselves on your sword? If you can’t capture whatever’s living in Dafan Mountain, don’t ever come see me again!”

–Chapt. 8: Pride III, fanyiyi

It seemed that the boy hadn’t come to Qinghe alone. No surprise—at Dafan Mountain, Jiang Cheng had come to support his nephew, so why wouldn’t he come this time too? Only it seemed that the uncle and nephew had gotten into an argument in Qinghe Town, which caused Jin Ling to set off for Xinglu Ridge on his own.

–Chapt. 23: Malice I, fanyiyi

It turned out that, having tricked his uncle and released Wei Wuxian several days ago, Jin Ling had been worried that Jiang Cheng would actually break his legs, so he had decided to sneak off and disappear, intending to reappear in front his uncle only after Jiang Cheng’s temper had cooled.

–Chapt. 35: Flora III, fanyiyi

As much as Jin Ling wants to assure everyone that “that’s just how his uncle is” and show us how unbothered he is by Jiang Cheng’s behavior, he does actually fear the man. And with good reason to! Now let’s address the elephant in the room: Jiang Cheng very much so does want to be physically harm Jin Ling, and this almost always correlates to Jin Ling talking back/not listening to him. Take this scene from right after the juniors survive the goddess statue and Jin Ling reminding Jiang Cheng that he was the one who told the boy to either catch the beast on Dafan Mountain or never return to him:

Jiang Cheng wanted to slap the stinking brat so hard he’d fly back up his mother’s birth canal—but he did actually say those words. Since he couldn’t very well embarrass himself, the Clan Chief could only turn to sarcastically mocking the cultivators scattered randomly over the ground. “So what exactly thrashed all of you into looking so dignified?”

–Chapt. 10: Pride V, fanyiyi

The thing stopping him from slapping Jin Ling is the fact that Jiang Cheng publicly told the boy not to come back if he was not successful, and he has been publicly called out when trying to take Jin Ling to task. Being unable to swipe at the boy as he wishes, he then turns his attention to his disciples to punish, as they are lower than him in rank and therefore no one can chastise him on his unbecoming behavior. But once we get to the scenes where all social hierarchy and propriety break down–the second siege and Guanyin Temple–all hands are loosed:

Jiang Cheng forced himself to walk over to Jin Ling, grabbing him at once, “Did you get hurt?!”

Jin Ling’s breaths even smelled like rust, “I didn’t. I...”

Jiang Cheng immediately slapped him onto the ground, scolding, “You didn’t?! Then I’ll make you get hurt and teach you the lesson! You damn brat turning a deaf ear to my words?!”

–Chapt. 81: Loyalty, exr

Jiang Cheng shoved Jin Ling, who’d been holding him up helplessly, out of the way...

...With panic, Jin Ling stood in front of Jiang Cheng, “HanGuang-Jun! My uncle’s hurt...”

Jiang Cheng slapped him onto the ground, “Let him come! Am I scared of him?!”

–Chapt. 102: Hatred, exr

Social etiquette no longer exists in a life-or-death battle or hostage situation, so Jiang Cheng has no face to maintain in front of anyone else. But by this point in the story, Jin Ling has spent a considerable amount of time with two role models who do show him kindness, care, and support. He begins to crave that parental love he has been deprived of, starting from the second siege:

A few sect leaders clutched onto their sons, cautioning them, “When the corpses rush inside all at once, protect yourself and try to get out. Stay alive no matter what! You understand?!”

As Jin Ling heard this, he felt himself cringe, but somewhere deep down he hoped that his uncle would say something similar as well. He waited for a while, but nothing came from Jiang Cheng...

–Chapt. 81: Loyalty, exr

And when Jiang Cheng finally hits him for the first time, Jin Ling’s only reaction is to look towards wangxian:

He sat down, catching his breath as his eyes turned to the two sitting at the side of the Demon-Slaughtering Cave closest to the outside.

Both Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi were a mess.

–Chapt. 81: Loyalty, exr

Finally, all of the dysfunction in Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng’s relationship comes to a head in Guanyin Temple, the climax of the story. Jiang Cheng’s behavior escalates into physical violence towards his last living relative, while Jin Ling is no longer lashing out at his uncle in place of being vulnerable but is also no longer able to brush off Jiang Cheng’s cruelty as acceptable. He has had his entire worldview turned on its head, and out of that, realizes that he does not want to continue the cycle of abuse and hatred that Jiang Cheng tries to force him to inherit, but would rather follow the path of love and kindness that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have shown him is possible.

Jin Ling on Jiang Cheng’s personality:

For as long as he could remember, Jin Ling had never seen Jiang Cheng with such an expression. His uncle, who had single-handedly led the Jiang Clan of Yunmeng at a tender young age, was always cold and gloomy. He was merciless and never kind with his words.

–Chapt. 23: Malevolent Part 1: Running into Gunpoint, taming wangxian

From the beginning of his memory until now, Jin Ling had never seen such a look on Jiang Cheng’s face before. This uncle of his who led the prominent YunmengJiang Sect ever since a young age had always been cold and dark. When he spoke, he was willing to neither show mercy nor do good.

–Chapt. 23: Malice, exr

Jin Ling saying Jiang Cheng has never hit him before and is all talk:

Jin Ling stirred awake after a while. He rubbed his neck, which was still hurting, then angrily drew his sword and sprung up. “How dare you hit me! Even my uncle has never hit me before!”

Wei Wuxian was shocked. “Is that so? Doesn’t he frequently say that he will break your legs?”

Jin Ling raged, “He had never meant what he said!! You fucking cutsleeve, what do you want? I ...”

–Chapt. 24: Malevolent Part 2: Escape, taming wangxian

He was so angry that he jumped up and unsheathed his sword at once, “How dare you hit me! My uncle hadn’t even hit me before!”

Wei WuXian exclaimed, “Really? Doesn’t he say that he’ll break your legs all the time?”

Jin Ling fumed, “He’s only saying that! You damn cut- sleeve, what on Earth do you want? I...”

–Chapt. 24: Malice, exr

Jiang Cheng’s insults to Jin Ling:

He scowled, “Jin Ling, why are you wasting so much time? Do I have to come over to invite you back? You look like a mess now; why aren’t you getting up?”

–Chapt. 7: The Prideful Part 2: Wangji Finally Makes his Appearance! taming wangxian

He frowned, “Jin Ling, why did you linger for so long? Do you really need me to come and pick you up? Look at what a terrible situation you’re in right now, and get up!”

–Chapt. 7: Arrogance, exr

Jiang Cheng said, “Safe and sound? You look like you’ve been rolling around in the gutters, how is that ‘safe and sound’? Aren’t you ashamed to be wearing your family’s uniform? Hurry back now and get changed! Spit it out, what did you encounter today?”

–Chapt. 23: Malevolent Part 1: Running into Gunpoint, taming wangxian

Jiang Cheng, “Nothing wrong? You look like you just rolled around in a muddy ditch, and you say there’s nothing wrong with you! Don’t you think that it’s an embarrassment to be wearing your sect’s uniform? Hurry back and change into something else! Speak. What did you run into today?”

–Chapt. 23: Malice, exr

Jiang Cheng lashing out at Jin Ling in place of concern:

Jiang Cheng was greatly relieved when he saw that Jin Ling was not harmed. He immediately began to reprimand him. “Didn’t you bring the signals with you? Why didn’t you release it even though you were up against something like this? Were you trying to show off? Come over here now!”

 –Chapt. 10: The Prideful Part 5: I’m Bringing This Man Back to the Lan Estate, taming wangxian

Seeing that Jin Ling was safe, Jiang Cheng finally calmed down. Quickly afterward, he scolded angrily, “Didn’t you bring signal firelights with you? Don’t you know to use them when you meet something like this? What are you pretending to be strong for? Scram over here!”

–Chapt. 10: Arrogance, exr

Jiang Cheng’s behavior pushing Jin Ling into danger:

Jiang Cheng then said in a scathing tone, “Why are you still standing there? The prey’s not going to stab themselves with your swords! If you can’t capture whatever’s on Dafan Mountain, don’t look for me again!”

–Chapt. 8: The Prideful Part 3: Discovering His Good Looks After Cleaning Up, taming wangxian

Jiang Cheng turned again, his words covered with thorns, “Why are you still standing there? Waiting for the prey to come and throw itself onto your sword? If, today, you don’t catch the creature hunting Dafan Mountain, don’t come to me ever again!”

–Chapt. 8: Arrogance, exr

It turned out that Jin Ling didn’t come to Qinghe alone. That wasn’t surprising; previously, Jiang Cheng had also provided him with back-up on Dafan Mountain, so why wouldn’t he be here this time? However, from the looks of it, the uncle and nephew probably had an argument in Qinghe, hence Jin Ling had trekked up Xinglu Ridge alone.

–Chapt. 23: Malevolent Part 1: Running into Gunpoint, taming wangxian

It appeared that Jin Ling didn’t come to Qinghe alone. Well, no wonder. Last time, at Dafan Mountain, Jiang Cheng had been there to assist him, so why wouldn’t he have come this time? However, looking at this now, it seemed that the two had a quarrel in the town of Qinghe, which was why Jin Ling went up the Xinglu Ridge alone

–Chapt. 23: Malice, exr

It turned out that a few days ago, after Jin Ling had sent Jiang Cheng away on a lie and released Wei Wuxian, he was worried that his uncle might really break his legs this time around. Hence, he decided to sneak out and disappear for a couple of weeks, then reappear when Jiang Cheng’s anger had subsided.

–Chapt. 35: Foliage Part 3: The Paper Effigies Shop and Glutinous Rice Porridge, taming wangxian

Ever since a few days ago, after Jin Ling lied to his uncle and let Wei WuXian go, he had been worried that this time Jiang Cheng would really break his legs, so he decided to sneak out and disappear for a few days, not appearing in front of Jiang Cheng until his anger subsided.

–Chapt. 35: Grasses, exr

Jin Ling refusing to be vulnerable with Jiang Cheng/lashing out:

Jin Ling was furious that he failed to capture the soul-eating fairy, and retorted, “Didn’t you say I had to capture it at all costs? And that I shouldn’t return to you empty handed!”

–Chapt. 10: The Prideful Part 5: I’m Bringing This Man Back to the Lan Estate, taming wangxian

Jin Ling was also angered from not capturing the soul- consuming goddess, “Weren’t you the one who told me that I have to catch it? And, if I don’t catch it, I shouldn’t go see you?”

–Chapt. 10: Arrogance, exr

Jin Ling said impatiently, “I’ve already told you that I didn’t encounter anything. I slipped and fell. It was a wasted trip. Ouch!” He yelled, “Don’t you drag me around like this! I’m not three years old!”

–Chapt. 23: Malevolent Part 1: Running into Gunpoint, taming wangxian

Jin Ling replied impatiently, “I already said that I didn’t run into anything. I tripped, and it was a waste of time. Ow!” He shouted, “Don’t tug on me like that! I’m not three-years- old!”

–Chapt. 23: Malice, exr

The voice that had called out earlier had belonged to the man standing at the head of the ship, none other than Jiang Cheng. Between tears, Jin Ling peered out and upon seeing his uncle, he abruptly stopped crying and quickly rubbed away his tears. Sniffing slightly, he looked around, clenching his teeth as he quickly flew over to Jiang Cheng’s side. Jiang Cheng grasped Jin Ling’s shoulders in alarm, asking, “What happened to you? Who bullied you!”

Rubbing his eyes forcefully, Jin Ling remained silent.

–Chapt. 84 Loyalty: Little Friends, chiaki_himura

The voice earlier had come from Jiang Cheng. Jin Ling’s eyes were misty with tears. Hearing his uncle’s voice, he immediately wiped his face clean, sniffed his nose, looked back and forth between the two ships, and then finally decided to fly over. The second Jin Ling landed besides him, Jiang Cheng had his hands on him, “What’s wrong? Who bullied you?!”

Jin Ling wiped at his eyes hard, but refused to speak.

–Chapt. 84: “Core” Part 6, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Jiang Cheng wishing violence on Jin Ling:

Jiang Cheng wanted to slap this kid so hard that he would be forced back into his mother’s womb. However, these were his very own words; how could he take them back?

–Chapt. 10: The Prideful Part 5: I’m Bringing This Man Back to the Lan Estate, taming wangxian

Jiang Cheng seriously wanted to slap the rotten brat so hard that he went back inside his mother’s stomach. However, he really did say so himself, and he shouldn’t prove himself wrong.

–Chapt. 10: Arrogance, exr

Jiang Cheng physically harming Jin Ling:

Jiangcheng limped quickly towards Jin Ling, grabbing him his shoulders with both hands as he said angrily, “Are you hurt!”

Breathing heavily, Jin Ling murmured, “No, I......”

Jiang Cheng had landed a slap on Jin Ling’s face as he berated, “No?! If you’re not hurt then let me give you something to hurt about! You rascal, turning a deaf ear to my words now, aren’t you?!”

–Chapt. 81 Loyalty: Corpses of the Burial Mound, chiaki_himura

Jiang Cheng limped towards Jin Ling, grabbed him and yelled, “Are you injured!”

Even Jin Ling’s laboured breaths were tainted with the smell of blood, “No, I…….”

Jiang Cheng immediately slapped him onto the group, “No?! Then take this as a reminder for what you just did! Do my words mean nothing to you, you little shit!”

–Chapt. 81: “Core” Part 3, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Jiang Cheng pushed away Jin Ling who had been supporting him, and despite having lost so much blood, his face remained flushed with anger as he roared, “How could you?! Wei Wuxian, how could you?!”...

...Lan Wangji stood up furiously as Jin Ling leapt in front of Jiang Cheng again, trembling as he begged, “HanGuang-Jun! My uncle is injured......”

Jiang Cheng struck a blow on Jin Ling, causing him to stumble to the ground.

–Chapt. 102 Hatred: I’m Sorry, I Swallowed My Words, chiaki_himura

Jin Ling wanting to hear kind words from Jiang Cheng:

Several sect leaders grabbed onto their offspring, urgently directing them, “When the corpses rush in, you have to protect yourself and find a way to escape. You must stay alive no matter what! Do you understand?!”

Hearing the desperation in the parents’ voices, Jin Ling felt a pang of sadness. Deep down, he had hoped that perhaps Jiang Cheng would also say this to him, but however long he waited, nothing came out of it...

–Chapt. 81 Loyalty: Corpses of the Burial Mound, chiaki_himura

Various Sect and Clan Leaders had grabbed their own sons, warning, “When the corpses rush in, you will protect yourself, and find a way to escape! You must survive no matter what happens! Do you understand me?!”

Hearing this, a sourness churned within Jin Ling. A part of him longed to hear those same words from his own uncle. But after waiting for a few, long moments, Jiang Cheng showed no sign of speaking up.

–Chapt. 81: “Core” Part 3, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Jin Ling looking to wangxian for comfort:

After taking the blow, Jin Ling couldn’t stand any further and sat onto the ground heavily, breathing deeply as his eyes travelled to the silhouettes of the two people sitting closest to the entrance of the cave.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were a mess.

–Chapt. 81 Loyalty: Corpses of the Burial Mound, chiaki_himura

Yet Jiang Cheng* himself had no energy left to stand after giving this slap. He sat down heavily, breathing hard as he glared at the two figures closest to the mouth of the Demon-Crouching Cave.

Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi were a mess.

–Chapt. 81: “Core” Part 3, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

*boat-full-of-lotus-pods is the only translation of the three I have of Chapt. 81 that says that Jiang Cheng is the one who looks at wangxian. Both exr and chiaki_himura say that this is Jin Ling.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

My Commentary on Rob and Rich Reviewing (4x14) Sex and Violence

I was listening to the latest Supernatural Then and Now Podcast (The Siren Episode) and I had to stop it after the Rob and Rich review to write down my thoughts because it annoyed me so much.

The guys both thought the episode was okay, but a bunch of things “bumped” for them. This is fine, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion about an episode, but some of the things that “bumped” for them “bump” for me.

My thoughts under the cut …

Bump # 1 - The Siren turning out to be a man

So, both Rs had an issue with the siren being a man since the lore showed them as women, and I think, because in real mythology they are women. Though they conceded that the a male siren could be a thing too, it seemed to really bother them that the siren ended up not being about a sexual connection with the brothers (though Rich saw the flask sharing scene as flirtatious … because no guys have ever shared a flask, including, Dean and Bobby).

I’m sorry, but the siren targeting the brothers, and using a version of an ideal brother to get to Dean isn’t a plot hole or a “stretch” or something, it’s an interesting choice and it’s exactly the point of the episode. While many men are vulnerable to a pretty woman who is into them, Dean just wants Sam. He wants his relationship with Sam to be better. In particular, he’s so worried about Sam and insecure in their bond that he wants a Sam who likes what he likes but, more importantly, one who listens to him and doesn’t hide things from him. And I know I’ve written about this before on a previous post, but Dean doesn’t NEED the siren to be a hot girl; he can find one of those easily. He needs a Sam he can trust. That’s the whole point. The show is drawing the comparison between sexual intimacy/romantic companionship (usually one of the most desired things in literature/media) to the brothers relationship to show how much brotherhood matters to Dean in particular (in this case).

The way the male siren actor portrays its interest in the brothers, to me, is very much like it’s intrigued and excited that it found a high even better than the sexual desire that it usually feeds off of. When the siren feels how desperate Dean is for the bond with Sam to be fixed, it finds him more interesting than it’s usual target. Dean’s longing for Sam (not sexual) is even stronger than the sexual desire or romantic companionship that the siren usually feeds off of, so much so that the siren changes its entire MO to go after the brothers.

Bump # 2 - The Doctor sleeping with Sam (when she isn’t the siren) is weird

So, the Rs disagreed on the “bumpiness” of this one. Rob thought it was weird that the doctor would just decide to sleep with Sam (at work), while it didn’t bother Rich because … Jared Padalecki. Sound argument (in this case), Rich.

Still, the doctor is a little unusual, and her behaviour is clearly intended to be a misdirect, but the show does a good enough job of suggesting she had a bad breakup (or worse) and is now just sort of living in the moment, so her behaviour doesn’t bother me. Also, Sam is hot.

What is stranger than the doctor’s behaviour, for the audience who knows him, is Sam having sex with her I that moment. Not only that, but Sam is very chill when she’s hitting on him, where in the past, Sam has often been a little shy or awkward with women that he’s been attracted to or interested in. So no, this is not Sam’s usual MO to sleep with the doctor, especially when we know he and Ruby are or were also sleeping together. Sam is not acting entirely like his usual self. And he hasn’t been acting entirely like himself for a while now.

Bump # 3 - The Siren telling the boys to fight each other and saying the winner can “be with” him

I don’t know why they had an issue with this. The siren literally explains that it loves the rush of having people willing to do anything for it, even kill people they love. What the siren tells the brothers doesn’t matter because it’s not like it’s really planning to have a relationship with the brother who wins the fight. And the boys are already infected at this point, so it’s just giving them incentive to fight. It’s not sticky about the sexual-ness of people’s need for the siren, it’s about the desperation they have to be with it (in whatever way).

Bump #4 - Sam dismissing the Doctor after sleeping with her.

The guys were both bothered by Sam not bothering to say goodbye to the doctor, and they mentioned that it seemed sort of old-school (womanizing?). Rob said that Sam dismissing her was more like something Dean would do than Sam. I know that I already said this, but this is the whole point. Sam hasn’t been acting like his old self. This isn’t an accidental writing mistake, where the writer accidentally wrote Sam more like Dean. Sam is different now.

It also isn’t like Sam to call Dean weak, or ridicule him for being messed up from his experience in hell. Season 2 Sam would never, and Season 3 Sam wouldn’t either. Season 4 Sam has changed from the trauma of losing Dean, drinking demon blood, and having Ruby in his ear.

Also, to play devils advocate on myself, Sam has actually left towns before without saying goodbye to the girl he had a connection with, maybe not after sleeping with her, but it’s not wholly out of character for him to leave without saying goodbye (I’m not criticizing him for this). Also, I really don’t think that doctor was looking for anything more from Sam beyond hooking up in her office, so this doesn’t bother me much.

Final thoughts

Anyway, I’m not arguing that everyone has to love every episode, or even like all the ones that I do. I’m not even arguing that people need to like Sex and Violence because it really can be a little uncomfortable, and there is a bit of a sexual undercurrent to it all, even though that’s not the sirens intention with the brother. That’s also not exactly new on Supernatural. However, it’s weird to me that so many of the things that “bumped” for Rob and Rich seem to me like very deliberate choices by the writers, not careless mistakes or pointlessly out of character. This episode reveals a lot about where Sam and Dean are at this point in the season, both individually and in their relationship.

Granted, I have the benefit of watching the episode and knowing where it’s all leading, but this is what sort of bothers me about hearing people discuss the show who are doing it for a purpose and are probably only half-invested in the story. They miss things that seem like they should be really clear. Also, it’s funny when they find things uncomfortably sexual in relation to Sam and Dean (they didn’t outright say that, but I think it was implied in what they said) and act like it’s a surprise or out of place. Again, this isn’t new. They obviously listened to too many hellers if they didn’t realize that Sam and Dean are weirdly close at times or that the show makes some pretty blatant parallels between them and couples or makes quasi-incestuous connections between Sam and Dean.

I have nothing else to add here. This was mostly just a rant, but feel free to add your two cents if you made it this far.

[histronic-gizmo]

Prickcest Speculation Masterpost

I wanted to gather together all of the little screenshots, gifs and hypothesises surrounding C-137's backstory, particularly in relation to Rick Prime

Comparisons

On the left is the Season 3 Deceptive memory that our Rick used to trick the federation. On the right is the scene from the memory Morty sees when he opens Rick's downloaded brain in season 5. Both are screenshots of C-137's final line before Prime leaves. In S3, C-137 says "A different kind of Rick, I guess" and in S5, we don't know what he's saying

C-137 looks very sad in the S5 memory. Prime's face looks stunned, rather than angry. If they had a previous relationship, we can guess that maybe C-137 is cutting Prime off in this scene or 'breaking up' with him.

On the left is the S3 screenshot and the right is S5. Both show Prime holding the portal gun out to C-137

In the S3 memory, it's shown to be the apparent first time C-137 has seen inter-reality technology like this. When Prime enters at all in this memory, C-137 looks completely shocked. In S5, Rick doesn't look taken off guard or surprised at all. This implies it wasn't the first time he'd seen the technology and the conversation wasn't likely centered around the creation and usage of it. Maybe Prime was offering to take C-137 with him on his travelling of the multiverse.

Left is S3, right is S5. Both are the scene where Prime is walking away.

While not as significant as the other differences, we can see that C-137 doesn't turn to look at Prime while he's leaving in S5. He doesn't need to watch as he walks away because he's seen the portal tech before, or maybe he can't bare to watch him leave.

Lines

Rick Prime talks about not teaming up anymore when talking to hermit Jerry in S6E1. In S6E10, C-137 goes on a rant to Morty about how when you let people in they stop respecting you and "kill your family". It's implied that Prime is the one who dropped the bomb that killed C-137's family, and it's what C-137 himself assumes, so he's clearly talking about Prime. This means that he and Prime definitely knew each other before the inciting incident, otherwise what C-137 says doesn't make sense.

In S6E1, we see a hologram C-137 used to help identify Prime in his search of revenge. We see this small clip matches up with what we see in S3. We do see that Prime says "Ricks don't pass on this", however we dont hear the rest of the conversation, so we don't know if it's actually about accepting portal travel or that it was the first time these two met.

Parallels

We know that it is confirmed that C-137 was in love with Birdperson. We can see from Rick's memory of the Battle of Bloodridge, his argument with Bird Person very clearly parallels his falling out Prime, with both holding out a portal gun and then one leaving through a portal. This could imply there was a romantic or sexual connection between the two of them.

We also see a parallel between Space Beth + Domestic Beth and Rick Prime + C-137. Domestic Beth and Space Beth fall in love with each other. Domestic Beth doesn't do any grand adventures, she's a horse surgeon and has a family, like C-137 did. Space Beth had adventures and travelled the universe, like Prime did.

In Bethic Twinstinct, Space Beth says "You're the housewife, and I'm the space lady, and yet you're the one who chewed me up and spit me out?"

As I mentioned earlier, if we assume based off the body language in the season 5 memory that C-137 was most breaking things off with Prime. So Prime was also 'chewed up and spit out' despite being the epic space adventurer and not the family guy.

Beth also asks C-137 if he's "forgotten the ice cream before" (had relations with another version of himself), and he says "drill me for details when I'm drunker". Which, to me, implies he very much has.

The fact that rickcest was confirmed with this line in the same season we see C-137's "they kill your fucking family" line and Prime's "I don't team up anymore" line seems to be foreshadowing something.

Other Ideas

The "Cult" One

I first heard of this one in this video

Lonny proposes the idea that Prime was in fact going around and giving Ricks portal technology in order to recruit them into joining a group of Ricks. They points to Prime mentioning he specifically MANAGED people ("managing people is such a headache"), which implies a group of people.

They also bring up the wall of Ricks we see in the S5 flashback that C-137 uses to find more Ricks to kill. It may have been Prime's little cult following.

It doesn't explain a lot of the stuff that implies a previous relationship with C-137, so I believe that the two ideas probably go hand in hand.

It's also worth pointing out that the wall of Ricks has what appears to be a citadel symbol. The only thing is, C-137 is apparently one of the founders of the Citadel, but we see him kill a large gathering of Ricks, and we see this citadel symbol pre-citadel.

I am literally only realizing this as I'm writing this post, so I don't have a put together idea of what it may mean. I think it's possible that maybe Evil Morty was involved in that original Rick Cult, because I don't think that symbol became the Citadel's until after he was elected. That's off the top of my head, though.

The "Time Travel" One

This one isn't one with much backing, however I think it's neat. Credit for this one goes to this Tumblr post.

This person suggested that maybe the reason C-137 hates time travel so much is because Prime might've lied and said he was C-137 from the future. He hates it because it was used to manipulate him

Misc.

In S6E10, we briefly see a hologram of Prime that doesn't match with any footage we've seen of him before.

I don't have any clever comments about how this could fit into prickcest as I'm writing, but I would like to include it in case someone else has something to say about it.

My Personal Ideas

My take away from all the evidence I've presented has lead to my current idea of events:

Prime and C-137 had a healthy, romantic relationship. However, with C-137's wife and daughter, guilt started to eat away. He tried to talk to Prime about it and Prime's response was "run away with me and travel the multiverse" and C-137 just couldn't bare the thought of abandoning his family, so he broke things off with Prime. Prime was upset, "Rick's dont pass on" the opportunity to travel the infinite cosmos. "Rick's don't pass on" the opportunity to be with someone they love.

I hope you found this post to be comprehensive, and please PLEASE add on stuff in the notes!! We need to gather evidence! /lh

[flagellant]

“In this context, he is literally not any different from a Starbucks worker” but he is. you can’t put it in the same -service worker- framework because you’re ignoring the key context of the service industry, which is power. A Starbucks worker who is being sexually harassed or asked to make sexually charged content has significantly less power to say no or step away that Pedro, a multimillionaire actor. The dude in “You” requested that there be no more sex scenes because he felt it was unfair for his wife, and it was approved because he had power in that scenario. Pedro has power, significantly more power than a minimum wage worker. You can say you are uncomfortable with actors being asked to partake in sexually charged interviews without completely obliterating your argument with careless comparisons.

also I would argue that it is, at least somewhat, motivated by Puritanism. He is a grown, adult man, with ample resources and fame. He is the lead actor in three prominent, popular television shows, as well as other credits on a long filmography. We have no reason to assume he is being contractually obligated or forced to participate in these interviews. We have the same amount of reason to assume he is choosing or actively seeking these interviews both because it benefits him career wise and financially, as well as his own enjoyment. You are assuming his discomfort or exploitation because it is sexual, which is, in fact, motivated by your own views on sex.

HE HAS LITERALLY FUCKING STATED HIS DISCOMFORT AT BEING SEXUALIZED AND BEING SHOWN SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT OF HIM ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

I'm sorry. Really, I am. I try very hard to, even if I lose my temper, not just outright insult people, because that's not my jam, really. But what you are doing here is just outright demanding I give you my approval to sexually harass someone because you think you're entitled to it or because you think it's just a hazard of the job or because you think they actually WANT to be placed into sexual scenarios while they're working(!!!!!!!).

And so I actually am going to just outright insult you. Not only are you a fucking idiot, you're a disgusting slimeball of a person, and you've spent your evening deciding that making a public sexual spectacle of a human person is actually just something I'm assuming is maybe bad and that I need to settle down because he's doing it for his own enjoyment. It takes a lot of effort to truly and genuinely make me hate you as a person without knowing anything about you, but congrats, Anon! I don't need to know literally anything else about you from this point on to know that I wish you either self-improvement or painful death! Go fuck off somewhere else so that I don't need to read your words on my screen ever again, thanks!

[aislingeach88]

Thinking about that scene at the beginning of TLOU where Joel, Tommy, and Sarah pass the family on the side of the road and how it not only tells you everything you need to know about the characters, but foreshadows the ending.

Tommy, the “joiner” as Joel calls him, slows down to help them without thinking of the consequences or asking anyone else in the car. Later in the game, he agrees to take Ellie to the Fireflies without asking his wife. The instinct to help the world first and foremost.

Joel immediately vetoes this and won’t hear any arguments. They have a kid? Doesn’t matter. “So do we. Someone else will come along.” The world is not a priority to Joel, only his family. How could he have possibly made any other choice in the end?

And Sarah, with her single line as they drive past and leave the family to their fate. “We shoulda helped ‘em.” Not only does it suggest that Sarah is too innocent to handle what the world will soon become, but just like Ellie, she wants to save people, even at her own risk, and also like Ellie, nobody asks her.

That last bit is admittedly a stretch; it’s an emergency situation, a good parent would not stop to ask their teenager what they think should be done, but with just how intentional every line of dialogue in this game is, I can’t help but draw that comparison.

A quick scene, maybe less than thirty seconds of a cutscene, but it does so much with so little.

[the-daily-dreamer]

A lot of people say that Aemond not wanting to kill Luke doesn't make any sense.

I would like to know what you think about it since you always have good arguments. 💚

Aww thank you so much!

Ok. So I’ve seen the argument that it makes no sense that Aemond wouldn’t want to kill Lucerys and also that Aemond should have known better when pursuing him so he must’ve been ok with the death.

Personally, I really don’t think Aemond wanted to kill Luc. I mean look at this reaction.

That is an OH SHIT look. It’s clearly unintentional and not what he wanted to do.

However, I also don’t think it’s a bad writing choice that Aemond didn’t want to kill Luc. I think that it’s actually very in character for Aemond based on his characterization this far in the series and also his history.

See, we need to recognize a few main facets about Aemond in order to attempt to understand his motivations and intentions. 1) He is usually the calmer, more rational, and more reliable of the two brothers. 2) He underwent a serious trauma as a child and was bullied (by Lucerys no less). 3) He has a habit of doing ballsy and poorly thought out things as a way to feel superior, more specifically when he’s in an environment where he feels inferior or his trauma is brought up.

And it’s these three points interconnected that all play into why I think it’s perfectly in character for Aemond to not want to have killed Luc.

Aemond’s behavior in normal circumstances is to not create problems like his brother. He doesn’t sneak out or sleep around. He studies and trains. And his mother clearly sees him as the most reliable of all her children. Taking this into account, I don’t think Aemond would want to murder Luc because it would DEFINITELY create problems, especially with a potential war brewing. It just doesn’t fit the character motivations we’ve seen this far to intentionally murder Luc. And that’s why I genuinely don’t think he would.

However, there have been scenes where Aemond does act out. And those scenes are what people use as proof that he would want to kill Luc and why the writing choice is bad. For example, the fight scene when he loses his eye, the toast scene, and most especially, the storm’s end scene before the murder.

All these scenes show a harsher, though rare, side to Aemond. A side of him that is willing to push buttons and intimidate others. But where does this behavior come from?

That’s where the bullying and trauma comes in. Every scene that we see Aemond lash out in has some relation to his mistreatment in the past. The fight scene is his first time feeling powerful in comparison his bullies (the strong boys), and then he only reacts harshly and violently when he his first provoked by them. The toast scene is in direct response to Luc laughing at the pig (a callback to the bullying Aemond faced from the Strongs and Aegon). And the scene at Storm’s End is him seeing Luc again after the dinner.

In all these instances, Aemond is confronted by traumas he has experienced or one of the abusers who did them. He clearly hasn’t handled his trauma the best because he lashes out when confronted with his past. And thus, his reactions tend to aim for making him feel stronger and more powerful than the people who hurt him and made him feel small and inferior.

When he is in the fight scene, he finally has confidence and feels powerful. So when attacked by his bullies, he calls them bastards and threatens them. It makes him feel better to finally overpower them after years of torment. In the toast scene, he has a direct callback to his bullying and clearly no remorse from the boy who stabbed his eye out. He can’t be violent because of the company at the table, so he implies the bastard status of the boys. A subtle way to bring them down and make himself feel big again. In Storm’s End, he finally doesn’t have his mother or any family to stop him, so when Luc appears and he feels that inferiority creep in again, he lashes out and tries to scare and intimidate Luc so he feels better again.

What I’m trying to get at is that after years of torment and being made to feel small and unimportant, Aemond reacts to being confronted with his trauma by trying to reassert himself as better and more powerful and bring his bullies down.

This all culminates in the scene where Luc dies. When Aemond is riding Vhagar, chasing Luc down he’s on top of the world.

He’s laughing and smiling and taunting. He feels powerful and dangerous and is reveling in the fact that the boy who mutilated him is scared shitless of him.

Would he have taken Luc’s eye? Possibly. I wouldn’t be shocked if he genuinely had that intent. But I think his main goal was to scare Luc. To shrink him down and make him feel small, the way he felt as a child being bullied and losing an eye. I don’t think murder is on his mind. It’s superiority. Fighting away the pain he had as a kid.

Genuinely, I don’t think that Aemond not wanting to kill Luc is poorly written. It’s perfectly in character (as far as I’m concerned) for it to be an accident. Aemond is not the type to plan on murdering Luc, based on his usually rational behavior. But, Aemond is also a traumatized kid on the inside and he lashes out. When confronted with his trauma and having Luc there, he responded the way he always does and tried to scare Luc to feel powerful and better about himself. Unfortunately, he didn’t think through that his actions could have far deadlier consequences than he intended. And that’s why he’s so shocked.

[lover-of-mine]

So i was thinking earlier, and if you've been around here any length of time you know i think about that cemetery scene a lot, because narratively it's a very interesting scene because it changes the tone of their relationship in comparison to the rest of the show really, and it's a fascinating choice in the context of the episodes before. Even the whole point of the conversation happening at a cemetery where they're visiting someone who didn't die on their watch. But i have a tendency to look at that scene from Eddie's eyes because when you look at it along with all of Eddie's reactions surrounding Buck's death and the reactions Eddie was having to Buck's words, that feels like a breakup. It feels like we are watching Eddie's heart break in real time, yk? BUT Buck is very purposeful in that scene too. He's basically daring Eddie to say something but Eddie just thinks that he needs to agree. And if you look at it that way and think about it as Buck asking for a reaction, you can argue Buck feels rejected there too, even though Eddie thinks he's being supportive. They are saying things and they are being misinterpreted. Both of them leave that talk with different views of what happened. And that's VERY interesting with how strongly the show pushed Buck, Eddie and Chris as a family unity in the episodes before and, well, i dont really know how the show plans to recover from that. If they plan on addressing it at all. Like, that was a breakup. But if it's a breakup where both of them think they got broken up with, how do you come back? You need to acknowledge it in some way. Even more with the space that was put between the two of them. But it's a good thing because the space can be used for some individual growth they need to do in order for the relationship to actually work long term. Mainly Buck learning to deal with his own feelings and asking for things and Eddie stopping assuming he knows best and making unilateral choices for both of them with the "I knew you wouldn't" excuse (and Buck stopping letting him get away with it). And the only way they come back from it in a satisfying way is for them to actually acknowledge the fact that they are not actually in each other's minds and sometimes things will get lost in translation and that addressing them doesn't need to be a public blowout (I think there's a lingering thing about how the last time they truly were on different sides of an argument, things got completely out of both of their control). The only way to bring them back is to talk about why there's space in the first place. And well, I live in delusionland, I will always look at things in a narrative lens trying to figure out how does that further the plot in a way that gets them together. And if the cemetery is really supposed to be seen as a breakup of sorts, unless they are planning on perpetually separating Buck and Eddie's plots (which particularly, I think it's a dumb move, not even just as a shipper, but because they have a fascinating relationship no matter how you look at it and losing that would take a toll on the overall way to look at both of them), they will have to talk about it. That scene is too long and too purposeful to be the type of thing that will be ignored.

[hidey-writes]

wip what could have been wednesday

A few days of lost time, even a few months was nothing for Shen Wei. Would be nothing, for any Dixingren. But for Zhao Yunlan — Haixingren lived such short lives, in comparison. There was no need for Zhao Yunlan to burn his life away trapped here. Shen Wei says, “There’s a way out, maybe. I found it yesterday morning.”

Zhao Yunlan misunderstands. “I won’t make you stay here, Shen Wei. I didn’t know what I was getting us into when I dragged you here. You have — classes, and students.” He trails off.

Shen Wei’s crossing to Zhao Yunlan before he registers himself moving, hand coming up to cup Zhao Yunlan’s cheek, but he catches himself and grasps Zhao Yunlan’s shoulder instead. “No,” he says, too sharply. “No. Do not mistake my meaning. I am not leaving you in here alone, Zhao Yunlan. Do not ever think that I will ever leave you alone of my own volition."

Zhao Yunlan’s eyes, wide and dark, find Shen Wei’s. His exhale trembles across Shen Wei’s wrist, and Shen Wei lets go of his shoulder with a jolt. It’s too much. Shen Wei jerks his gaze away.

ahh this isn't a snippet of a wip so much as it's a BELOVED cut scene from Day After Day |日复一日 that i couldn't figure out how to keep. there was going to part of a whole argument between weilan in loop 3, but then it turned out to work better for shen wei not to figure out how to get out until zhao yunlan puts it together later. but i was so sad to not get to keep shen wei being way too intense for the situation, so here you go