#i know adhd and autism are vaguely similar but like

[lgbtqiafrog]

ok is there a toki pona community on here? I need to know

lately I’ve been obsessed but I have found no ways to check my grammar online

and also if there isn’t that is an absolute injustice

[moonspiritmars]

ope I just realized a big reason I was feeling really frustrated/angry on behalf of Evan with the discourse surrounding if K asked for consent or not to fix Evan's arm was because as an autistic person, Evan reads very autistic to me. So when I see people say K asked for consent and then go back and watch the scene and the words "can I try to fix that poorly healed bone," are not explicitly said, I think about all the times I have been harmed by people being vague (both on purpose and not) and not saying what they really mean. The amount of times people have said that I gave consent for something when I very much did not, because they interpreted what I said as consent to fit their narrative and actions is much too many, and for so long people wrote it off as me being naive, turned it around on me, made it my fault when I was the one harmed, the one with my boundaries violated. Oof.

I have had this happen with malicious people and I've had it with non-malicious people, and that's important because K is not malicious, I think they just care so much that sometimes they don't know where to put all that love and care. Also, I read K as neurodivergent/could see them being neurodivergent too, so this isn't me saying they were acting like a neurotypical person, I just think that even neurodivergent people sometimes get really wrapped up communicating in their own ways and forget that for some of us our understanding of language is deeply literal and reading between the lines/interpreting our words differently than what was explicitly stated can be really, really harmful for all parties involved. (sometimes I can hurt people too with my literalism! it's not all black and white obviously)

Like I said, I feel deeply for K because deep down at their core I truly believe their actions aren't about seeing people/things as objects needing to be fixed (despite it coming off that way sometimes), I just think they see themselves as inherently worthless if they are not always using all of their energy trying to help. I get that, and how it feels like you're drowning when you're not giving yourself away to people and causes because theres too much, always too much, love and care and concern and it makes you feel like you're going to implode. One of the hardest lessons I've learned is that sometimes my need to help, to fix, to care, to give, is a little bit more about having control than it is just wanting to help. When you grow up with chronic instability you claw and scratch at anything that might anchor you, and often it's the need to feel like you have worth, you mean something to other people, and you're willing to give yourself away as long as it means you have stable footing beneath you. All of that is to say that I do not blame K (or other people with similar circumstances to mine) for having an unhealthy relationship to control, it's just that in learning so many of my actions are also attached to deep insecurity I've been allowed to finally start healing the way I deserve to heal, and I just want that for others too.

Anyway I need to get my Sam post out before the next episode because I didn't finish it and then watched last nights episode and that was a huge mistake because now I have even more I wanna write about. She is such a complex and beautiful character and every single one of her actions speaks to who she is at her core and I just wanna give her a hug. Truly feels like the peak example of being alone doesn't always mean you're lonely, and being lonely does't always mean you're alone.

anyways pls don't get mad at me I'm sorry if anything came off wrong, all I was hoping to do was explain why I was feeling the way I was in case it helps others understand why they were feeling similar/different things during that scene. Like I said, I love K, and also this wasn't slander towards anyone who isn't autistic (also autism manifests in different ways), I just realized how my experience as an autistic person with adhd always really shapes how I view the media I consume and found it illuminating in this scenario especially.

(can you tell I've been chronically misunderstood my entire life by the way I'm prematurely apologizing also people being upset with me makes my tummy hurt because I take it really personally and would rather keep the peace than hold firm to my opinion at times)

((but I mean if I said something wrong I wanna know asddfgjrlgk wow y'all are learning a whole lot about how my brain works through a lil post about dnd oops))

[frozenjokes]

hi um. can i ask what the cloth mother/wire mother chart means? me and my friends have been trying to break it down for like half an hour of back and forth constant debate and external sources. we understand the experiment, but could you explain each point separately as an axis?

we think that the monkey/mother is what mother they prefer.. but then what is the object? the object cant prefer a mother as an object, so then does that mean that they /are/ the mother? it.. has been a topic of much debate please explain your research i am fascinated and need to know more

let it be known, this is the best ask I’ve ever gotten. you are in for it. For reference, here is the blank graph.

short answer: this is a personality chart. The measure is How Much ____ person is Monkey/Diabolical Object vs Cloth/Wire Mother

long answer: AUTISM. let’s talk about autism shall we? yes… I think we will. Autism. I do not choose the inanimate objects I identify with. The autism chooses. And if you are a psych major in college you may know that every professor on the face of the earth talks about harlow’s monkeys. They are everywhere. I’ve been lectured on the monkeys MANY a time. Now when you’ve seen these videos about this experiment over and over again (as well as watching them on your own time because as established, your ass is not normal) you start to.. identify with them. SPECIFICALLY when you are a blunt, outwardly colder kind of person. Someone with sharper edges. Someone who has a hard time making friends and fitting in and finding people who YADDA YADDA YADDA THIS IS TUMBLR YOU (reader) GET IT. Now we see wire mother yes? Do you see a similarity? Do you see all those memes about her, DISRESPECTING HER, MISUNDERSTANDING HER, SHE’S TRYING HER FUCJING BEST AND YET SHE IS OUTCAST, SHE IS DISCOUNTED.

she also looks like this. actually, let’s take a look at all of them, shall we?

no further comment. this is peak design. diabolical object in particular is ?!!??!!!?? great. more pictures now.

NEEDLESS TO SAY. I am wire mother. I am a wire mother (on the graph I fall between wire mother and diabolical object) and I am so abnormal about it, if any person that vaguely knows me sees any post on any platform that so much as mentions this experiment it goes Directly to me.

Maybe this isn’t important. But maybe it is. Maybe you need to get to know them, to know them like I do. But now for what you’re really here for. What does it mean.

Let’s begin

THE X AXIS: Cloth/Wire Mother is primarily about Warmth. It’s about Affect. (psych term for the way people emote, simply. You can have a positive affect, a negative affect, a neutral affect, it’s used often in the context of neurodivergence. For example a person with schizoid personality disorder expresses an extremely low range of emotion, and therefore, often shows neutral or negative affect. It’s a useful descriptor for autism as well.) Do people feel comfortable around you upon first meetings? Do people feel comfortable around you upon first meetings when you AREN’T masking? How easy/difficult is it for you to mask? Do you feel the need to mask at all? Sociability is big here. It should be noted the x axis has nothing to do with someone being a ‘nice’ or ‘mean’ person. This entire graph isn’t about Nice or Mean, it’s about perception, it’s about how people hold themselves.

Cloth Mother: Cloth Mothers are warm, they are approachable. These are the type of people you’re drawn to, the type of people that make others laugh. Cloth mothers do not have to be socially adept, but they often are, or at the very least they’re outgoing enough to provide the illusion of adeptness. For example, one of my good friends is very socially outgoing, very extroverted, but at the same time, struggles with social cues in the ADHD way of not always knowing when to stop or start talking, etc etc. Cloth mothers typically have a more positive affect. They can be passionate and excitable, you take one look at them and you just know they’re so happy to be here! :D

Wire Mother: Wire Mothers tend to be colder, not as approachable. They often struggle to reach out, especially among neurotypical friend groups, and may often be perceived by other people as sad or unhappy due to a neutral or negative affect. Other people think Wire Mothers don’t like them, or that they’re mad at them, when in reality, Wire Mothers just look like that. Wire Mothers can make people who don’t know them uncomfortable, but they’re literally just vibing, I’d try not to worry about it. There’s so much joy stored in the Wire Mother, it just doesn’t always touch the surface like it does for more expressive people. It does come out though; you get a Wire Mother going and you’ll be there all day. Cat coded.

THE Y AXIS: Diabolical Object/The Monkey is definitely a bit harder to describe. I think this relies more on personal identification, as a lot of it Is Vibes. The Y Axis is about personality, but it isn’t to be taken too seriously. But put simply. Do you air on the softer side of insanity, or do you bite with teeth. Are you a little more sensitive to the world or is your typical approach BITING RIPPING TEARING GGRRBBARKKABRKABRKABKR KILL KILL KILL KILL. Do you feel a little bit bad/aren’t very good at (MUTUALLY) making fun of your friends or are you engaging in gorilla warfare, claws, teeth, kicking and screaming, all of it. It’s sopping wet and pathetic vs LITERALLY EVIL. :) vs >:) The most important thing about the Y Axis is that Being Soft versus Complete Bastard is that both sides can go completely apeshit about literally anything. Being soft does not mean you any less crazy than the Diabolical Object. You may have a little more chill But You Are Still A Monkey.

The Monkey: You take things a little slower. You are not (outwardly) as intense as your other friends. People look at you and wonder if you were raised by two inanimate objects, periodically having your pants shit by The Embodiment Of Pure Evil, and then afterwards were unable to reintegrate into regular monkey society. (Harlow’s monkey reference) You’re 15lbs sopping wet. If you have a bigger build or any muscle at all, the fandom would probably draw you as a twink. They’d probably do that anyway if you were evil, but it’s just a little more baffling in your case. This is about TangoTek. There’s more to be said about The Monkey, but like. Idk man. You’re a monkey. Everyone does a little 🥺 from time to time, but for some reason people associate it more with you.

Diabolical Object: You have zero chill all of the time. You take things way too far, you’re running at 1000% constantly and you are Going to crash and burn in a fiery explosion, but dude it will be SO SICK. You couldn’t give less of a fuck. You REALLY want people to think you couldn’t give less of a fuck. You are a devious, evil little creature. Rats, We’re Rats, We’re The Rats <- YOU. People think you’re evil. They’re right. You are the bane of your friends’ existence, and proudly at that. Part of you needs to see how far you can push everyone else’s patience because GOD you just want them to Snap. Sometimes this is with love. Sometimes you’re just bored and want to see how much of a nuisance you can be before getting kicked from the voice call. You are the cat that starts the fights.

And so here we have it again. Further questions are welcomed and encouraged. Maybe I’ll spend another hour answering them! I hope someone reads this entire thing without realizing it was, in fact, a Minecraft post. Who cares. This shit is so much fun, I highly recommend throwing your own ocs on it or other fandom stuff who cares, it’s a good time. Maybe it’s Just me.

[geekyglamour413]

Sometimes I do genuinely wish I could quirkify my ocd and have it be viewed in a similar light the way adhd and autism are(at least how they are on this website). because I wanna just say shit out loud in public and throw up a peace sign or talk about it casually and have it be something funny or lighthearted, but the average human person doesn’t even know basic things about ocd. and they cannot interact with discussions about it without going into like Serious Mode about Mental Illness and like bestie thank you for the support but I just wanna go I’m being targeted by visions rn lmao and have it be vaguely understood

[fallenclan]

A Full List of Fallenclan Cats That Give Me Thoughts

Maplestar - hm.. he is a guy. but hes also gone through so much.

Silverbelly - she is,,,, so silly,,,,, the silliest. perchance

Sorrelstem - dawg how did she react to shrewkit I dying dude how did she feel. like did she feel like a shitty parent was she extra protective over the rest of her kits??? hm

Crowflame - he is a guy but also he is super tragic and sad. UGH boyfailure

Blizzardfang - i thoughr she was a man for like 7 million years and now i think about her all the time. perchance.

Antbite - him and lionsong are so goldenflare and morningbloom coded. him being this silly little emotional wall 90% of the time is Canon because I Said So

Lionsong - HE WAS TOO LITTLE!!!! NOOOO!!!!

Moosefall - my MAN. my BOY. okay that is MY SON and I will EMOTIONALLY TARNISH HIM as much as i want. PERCHANCE🔥

Salmonskip - she is such a goofball 2 me okay. like she definitely feels less than adequate compared to mossfrog and that is something i Get

Mossfrog - she is literally me so everything i say about her is correct. brand new city by mitski as a CAT

Waspflight - adhd king/queen. she can be BOTH king and queen okay shes QUEEN he is KING he is all the genders at the same time

Owlscreech - yes shes a wet sopping beast but shes MY wet sopping beast. PERCHANCE.

Goldenstar - do u think he has ptsd from morningbloom. bcuz. vaguely gestures in applebranch's direction. do you think her first litter gave him REAL flashbacks. also robinblaze looks a lil like morningbloom dont u think. rubs my hands together EVILLY

Shrewkit II - how does she feel about being named after her dead relative thats shes never once met and looks strikingly similar to

Feathersight - how does he feel about being named after his mentor's murdered brother. how does he feel about constantly being in stormsights shadow? Perchance

Pinefrost - shes literally just there. love her for that. perchance.

Brambletuft - gestures vaguely at pinkshift and mitski. yeah thats her

Yewberry - he's so autism. perchance

-🍭

you cant just say perchance (<- reference)

your thoughts. all so good. mwah. antbite and lionsong ARE goldenmorning coded you're right. golden FOR SURE has ptsd abt morningbloom's death and he absolutely had flashbacks when applebranch had her kits. shrewkit II. i like to think she is proud to carry the memory of her aunt. same for feathersight--bro is connected to starclan in Ways (omen sense) i feel like hes happy to carry that.

i also have to ask. do you think pinefrost is a girl. or are you just using she/her for him. bc that rules too. i just want to know

[ira-407]

What is Aspie Supremacy, Actually?

A lot of people know what aspie supremacy is, but don’t seem to actually know what it means. For one, its origins can be traced back to Mel Baggs. It’s possible someone else used the term before sie did, but the framework for it that people are most familiar with originated with hir. Mel also coined autistic supremacy before that. They’re not necessarily one in the same, but I don’t think it’s bad to use them interchangeably, especially since one is often accompanied by the other anyway. It's a similar idea to the disability hierarchy and "My Mind is Fine" doctrine that preceded it, and is directly related to these things.

Autistic Supremacy is an autistic person acting like or outright stating they’re superior to non-autistic people. This often comes in the form of what was called “NT-bashing” in the usenet days. I personally don’t see it as different enough from Aspie Supremacy for the distinction to really matter, but it was something Mel came up with before Aspie Supremacy and is linked to it. Someone is an autistic supremacist when they make a space that is only for autistic people and they don’t even allow cousins in. Autistic spaces are important, but I think what makes a space autistic space vs. not one is who is in the majority, and moreover, who is in control. So I don’t care so much if it’s all autistic or not. I feel like that mindset does more damage than it helps. “By and for autistic people” doesn’t need to mean “autistics only, sorry”. It’s part of what made the Facebook group Just Us Autistics so bad. Anyway.

Aspie Supremacy is autistic people acting superior to other autistic people. This was much more blatant when Mel devised the term but is absolutely still a thing. It runs a lot deeper than I think most people are willing to admit-or, to be more specific, the people who are perpetrating it. As much as I’ve mentioned Mel already, I don’t think the definition of Aspie Supremacy is beholden to Mel and Mel alone, and I don’t think sie would think so either. Based on what I’ve observed, I think the examples I’m about to give are very much things Mel would have agreed qualify as Aspie Supremacy regardless. Aspie Supremacy isn’t simply when someone declares themself an aspie or when a person clings onto the Asperger’s diagnosis despite its extinction. Sure, that counts as it, and many people who do that also do other things, but that’s just the most apparent form of Aspie Supremacy. There are more covert examples that I argue are more insidious, and are done by people who would be very quick to denounce Asperger’s, but only because the person it’s named after was a nazi and for no other reason. 

Examples of Aspie Supremacy:

 Failing to mention anything related to disability in your advocacy-ergo, talking about autism as its own thing or solely as a cultural identity

Moreover, failing to contextualize autism within the scope of the broader disability community and rights movement. MAYBE saying something about ADHD but that’s it.

Doubly so if you ignore the I/DD-led Self-Advocacy Movement

Not centering people with I/DD in your advocacy at all

If you do mention people with I/DD, it’s brief and basically an afterthought. Perhaps as a statistic or vague example of something.

Separating autism as its own thing from the rest of the neurodivergent umbrella

Saying you “stand with nonspeakers” and do nothing to actually engage with them beyond sharing their stuff on social media

Saying you “stand with nonspeakers” only to say very stigmatizing things about them

When being called out for this, you don’t listen and perhaps try to argue that you’re actually right. Bonus points if the person you’re arguing with has I/DD and/or is nonspeaking.

Tokenize nonspeakers and silo them into their own special subclass of the autistic population

Use “Medium/High Support Needs” as a stand-in for “low functioning”

Assert that you are nothing like people you deem to have higher support needs

Using your autism as an excuse for racism and calling people ableist for rightfully criticizing your behavior because “[the racism] is one of my autism symptoms”

Wanting more autism subtypes to be officially recognized like AuDHD or PDA

On that note, using PDA as an excuse for shitty behavior, ESPECIALLY if you consider it a “pervasive drive for autonomy”

Trying to rebrand PDA as a “pervasive drive for autonomy”

Your advocacy being highly academic and intellectual-sounding with no effort in making it sound more accessible

On that note, not engaging in the actual community that is outside of academia's ivory tower, unless it's for academic research

Being against the idea of autism or ADHD being considered a disorder

Caring significantly about the distinction between “disorder” and “disability”

Forcing people to exclusively use identity-first language and not even considering person-first language’s origins

Talking about the social model of disability in the misunderstood concept of “people are only disabled by societal barriers”, denying the existence of disability that comes from personal impairments at all

Supporting the removal of autism and maybe ADHD from the DSM but only those because they’re “identities” 

Thinking that autistic people are direct descendants of neanderthals 

Armchair diagnosing people with mental illnesses just because they don’t do things you like

Denying the legitimacy of someone because they use FC, RPM, or a similar method to form words

Saying things like "that's not autism or intellectual disability it's apraxia" or some other form of that statement

There are definitely more but these are all of the examples I could readily think of. All of which I have observed from other people. So as you can see, these are things that are actually quite common in autistic spaces. Really, most of these are signs of being a generally indecent person. It’s pretty damning how many people I know do this, and to be clear, they aren’t people I like. At this point, I have zero tolerance for Aspie Supremacy. It’s one thing to still be in the learning process and having a commitment to doing as good by certain people as possible, but it’s another thing to do the stuff I listed above *and be proud of it*. As for one particular example, I will say there’s nuance to saying you’re not like another person and some truth to it. Where I take issue is when you do this with another autistic person in a way where you’re saying you don’t even have the same disability as them, especially if you’re saying they don’t deserve the same rights and basic respect as you do. That autistic person who doesn’t speak and has an intellectual disability is likely more like you than you think, and to deny those similarities is wrong and exclusionary. 

TL;DR Aspie Supremacy sucks. It’s something people need to check within themselves. It’s also a lot more prevalent than one may think, and denouncing the specific labels of aspie and Asperger’s does not recuse oneself from it. 

[acespoliticalwaffles]

Finally got a call back from the autism assessment people. And what do you know? They said that insurance wouldn’t cover it so if we want to actually get me in to get tested it’ll be 4,000 US$ out of pocket. My parents said we can’t afford that right now.

This is what we mean when we say diagnosis is a privilege. Because in the US, it literally costs thousands of dollars for them to even look at you. And even if you can afford that, or your insurance will pay for it (most probably won’t), you still have to deal with doctors who have a very narrow view of what autism looks like, both in how it presents itself symptom-wise, and in how the people who have it look physically. If you do not fit the stereotype of Smart, but Socially Awkward White Boy, there is a chance they will reject you outright.

“Diagnosis is a privilege” doesn’t mean that only privileged people get diagnosed, or that your life must have been easy and perfect if you yourself were able to get one. It means that not everyone with certain conditions/disorders/neurodivergencies is able to get diagnosed with them for a variety of reasons that don’t include “they’re faking it”. And that is literally just a fact.

Like, seriously, what do people who think diagnosis isn’t a privilege think getting diagnosed is like? Like, with some disorders it’s much easier. I was diagnosed with depression the first day I saw my first psychiatrist. But most of the disorders they always claim people are faking (autism, adhd, did) are actually very difficult to get diagnosed with just because it takes so long and can often be very expensive. Like, I’ve literally been waiting to get diagnosed for almost half a year. And now they say they won’t even try unless we fork over $4,000. People who are against self-diagnosis are so fucking dense. Like, what do you want me to do? Say I don’t have autism because I couldn’t pay them to check??? Cause only rich people can have autism I guess./s

Knowing that I’m autistic has helped me understand a lot about myself that I didn’t before. It has helped me realize that some of my weak points (not being able to work with vague instructions, being very sensitive to criticism, etc.) have a reason behind them and other people experience them in similar ways. I am autistic. I do not have any doubts about being autistic. And I do not have to prove to strangers on the internet that I am autistic before I get to talk about my experiences with it without being relentlessly scrutinized.

Edit: Been seeing some ppl talk about this phrase in a way I hadn’t before and I want to clarify: getting diagnosed is not always actually good, especially when you’re very young and you don’t get to decide whether you want it or not. What I meant in this post is that access to diagnosis is a privilege. Hope that clears things up if you had questions. This was mainly meant to demonstrate that ppl who are against self-dx need to get their facts straight. I’m not actually here to talk about the privilege aspect very much either (I didn’t realize there was discourse there), but in short: it’s complicated, but it is often a result of some privilege that ppl are able to get diagnosed, especially later in life. I also want to make it clear that it’s very valid to not want a dx. I actually went back and forth on it myself bc of all the fucked up laws and discrimination and stuff. (Which is yet another reason self-dx is valid and sometimes the best option) So yeah. Idk, just wanted to make it clear what I’m trying to say.

[captainofthenautilus]

Would you be willing to share what extra tone indicators you and your discord server invented? I am fascinated to hear about them!

There are quite a few (we have a whole channel dedicated to them for reference purposes) but I’ll just list some of the ones I find most useful and/or use most often. All examples shown here are real messages from the server.

/flr (for legal reasons, as in "for legal reasons this is a joke.")

basically an extension of /j but more specifically used when talking about activities that are illegal, insinuate the desire to cause harm to self/others, or just generally could get someone in trouble if taken seriously.

Example: "if one of those silly ass motherfuckers says 'boys will be boys' I will personally give them bottom surgery with vintage lawn shears /flr"

/jbnr (joking but not really)

for when things are said in a joking tone but the sentiment is still true, or when the statement is hyperbolic. similar to /hj but somewhat less vague

Example: "i live off of mountain dew and spite /jbnr"

/citation needed (like the wikipedia tag)

for when the statement may or may not be true, but the author doesn't have the time and/or energy to verify, so be skeptical in case it is incorrect. can be used in place of qualifiers like "iirc," "I'm not sure though," or "but don't take my word for it"

Example: "Isn’t Disney like, the fourth greatest supply of explosives in the world? /citation needed"

/lies

for when the statement is untrue. usually used for comedic effect. similar to /j (joking) but specifically for lies. can also be used when a statement was not intended as a lie, but ended up not being true after all.

Example: "starting two new tv shows at 11pm on a monday, this is a good decision /lies"

/sic (as in the latin adverb)

any misspellings or incorrect grammar in this statement are intentional, not typos.

Example: "why is it 80 degrees it's fuckimg NOVEMBER /sic"

/autism, /adhd, and variants

a self-aware nod to the fact that the statement was influenced by the author's neurodivergence

Example: "man i love public transit /autism"

/with love

similar to /genuine or /not mad. for when what you’re saying might seem mean, but it comes from a place of genuine care for the person it’s directed towards

Example: "go microwave a potato or something /with love"

Honorable Mentions:

/context and /clarification

/idk (for when you don't know which tone tags are appropriate)

/unless (a reference to this meme)

/called out (defensive but usually lighthearted. "we know, but hey")

/I don't want to diagnose ppl but what neurotypical person rides a unicycle (this is more of a one-off joke than an actual tone tag but I'm adding it anyway)

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I feel really shit rn because I'm super against saying people are using their disorders as a free pass to be an asshole and I don't think this is the case. But at the same time a friend of mine keeps using her RSD (as a result of her ADHD) as an excuse for being shitty to me.

She just expects that I for instance know that certain things trigger her (but only when said in specifics ways and by specific people) based on her facial expressions. Or that I can catch everytime someone is ironic to her even if she pretends they weren't being ironic. So I can stand up and protect her from those people (most that are our friends and she constantly calls friends). And everytime I don't do that she keeps calling me a shitty friend. So I tell her that I can't do it. That because of the way my autism acts I literally can't read facial expressions or that I didn't noticed it was sarcasm or that since she herself keeps talking about how she has small feet and jokes about it I did not think someone making a similar joke would upset her. But she just says "yeah, sure" and that she isn't mad. And than vague posts about her shitty friends that don't protect her. And now even when I notice she is upset and ask what made her upset and how can I help she says "you wouldn't understand anyway" and vague posts about her awfull friends that don't get her.

It doesn't help that she makes ME feel bad everytime I have to talk to her about trans stuff she got wrong (because she is the director of the gender studies league at our college now) to the point I didn't even talked to her about things like me as a transmasc finding it kindda offensive that she as a cis woman proudly said she wanted to portray a transman in our therapy simulation and didn't because it would be an even harder pacient. Nor the fact she constatly commits the same microagression against one of my best friends (and her best friends as well) since said friend said A LOT OF TIMES that while she marjoritarially uses fem pronouns and is afab she is nonbinary (and sometimes has preference for other pronouns) and feels unconfortable when people call her a woman a thing said friend keeps "forgetting" so she can make the call that all the directors of the gender studies group are woman.

Like most of the times we talk about serious stuff I end up apologizing even in conversations that outside of the moment of the conversation I don't think I was wrong. And her arguments are mostly based on her disabilities. Even though besides my sensory issues with loud noises (and not always) and my stims the only other time she aknowledge my autism was to send a passive agressive coment about how she forgot I have "rigid thinking" because of it. (And she also demonizes my friend who has BPD and BPD ppl on general).

And I made all this post to rant and am still feeling bad an like a shitty friend because yeah sure she did all that but she didn't mean to and she has issues and I'm just being petty (I mean I'm angry at silly things like she passive agressivaly comenting to my friends that our project had took more work even tho I did most of it and the rest was done by the other ppl in the group and not her and this is such a silly nitpick) and ableist (she has cronicle issues and is sick a lot so it makes sense she can't always meet deadlines and she has a lot of trauma so ofc she wants us to protect her from being triggered) and maybe if she was the one remembering things she would show all the times I was a shitty friend.

I just feel so tired of failing to help her. And a bit angry over feeling like she has a lot of expectations for me but never reciprocates (specially when she throws the things she does to you in your face if you don't respond to them the way she wants a thing that actually makes sense because yeah it sucks to do a lot for someone and they don't appreaciate it but I didn't ask for any of that).

[mordcore]

it was such a strange experience to visit my family this spring and seeing my aunt & her son, 8, interact on a daily basis.

it was very similar to how i grew up (/neg). he doesn't really get to have boundaries. or, well, he doesn't get to have boundaries if she considers them stupid i guess. there was a recording of him singing a song that she wanted to play for grandma and he didn't want her to. she didn't give a shit and did it anyways and he stormed off screaming. i was kinda shocked (& triggered) by the whole situation and she said that it was fine he just doesn't like to hear his voice. when he came back 10 minutes later i asked if he was okay and he seemed confused that i was asking. on the same day he got some kind of superficial injury like a scratch or something and my aunt demanded to look at it and he Really didn't want her to because he thought it would hurt. again, she didn't really give a fuck and just grabbed his leg.

she also will talk about him like he's not in the room when he is. "ah yeah <name> had this health problem with his muscles but we've been taking him to physio and it's really been improving" or whatever. presumably innocuous stuff but i know that i always feel weird and objectified when it's done to me. he's 8 he 100% notices that it's happening. i'm sure that she wants to be a good mom and she probably thinks that she is and maybe he won't end up as traumatized as i have but goddamn if it isn't. so very much the same crap i had to go through. i don't actually know what autism and adhd look like in children so this is just speculation but it does definitely run in the family and i just have the vague but strong sense that he's neurodivergent as well and. man i just hope he comes out of this better than me, or our shared cousins. i gotta acknowledge that i have 0 control over the situation and it's therefore not my job to fix. even if that's just me being terrified of offending someone who's kinda like my mom (they're not even related, kinda weird. ig both sides of the family have the same brand of intergenerational post-war neurodivergent trauma going on)

[bookshelfmonkey]

Right so I saw a post similar to this and had some interesting thoughts on this bit it wasn't rebloggable, and I've since lost the original post.

Anyway, here are some helpful things to think about if you think you're autistic and other people don't really see it or if other people think you're autistic but you don't quite see it.

People's perception of autism doesn't necessarily align with the actual lived experiences of most autistic people. A lot of media representation either focuses on a very specific experience or is just downright inaccurate. A lot of the information out there seems to focus on young white boys. If you don't fit that description, your experience may be different and may not, therefore, align with the mainstream view of it.

Meltdowns don't always look like they're portrayed. They can look like panic attacks or "just" crying. Especially for older teens/adults who were told that the extent to which they expressed their emotions was too much (I was frequently told I was too old to cry over such "little" things) there may not even be any noticeable outward signs or you might experience "shutdowns" instead.

Stimming can look like lots of different things. Pacing, bouncing your knee, fidgeting with things on your desk, rubbing your hands together, running your hand through your hair, grinding your teeth, tapping your feet and many more can all be stims. Stims can also change based on a situation (e.g. dancing can be a stim when you're at a club, but you won't randomly start dancing when you're overwhelmed in the supermarket)

Stims also don't have to be movements. Listening to movement, watching things (lights, bodies of water, lava lamps, etc.), smelling things, and eating (especially foods with strong, often sweet/salty, tastes and interesting textures) can all be stims

You don't have to have been a loner your whole life. It's possible that you've had many healthy friendships/relationships. Sometimes people are just nice and don't care about your differences, sometimes they're used to those differences because (knowingly or not) they've grown up around neurodivergent people (e.g. parents, siblings, other friends) or they might be neurodivergent themselves (we tend to flock together without even realising)

Building on that last point, if a lot of your friends have diagnoses, that could maybe be a sign that you have that in common with them. Also, if you find yourself looking at autistic traits and thinking "I do that, but it's not a weird thing because *x friend* also does it", it could be because you're both autistic.

Special interests don't have to be incredibly niche/weird to be special interests. They might have even helped you blend in if it matched up with something your peers were also interested in (but you were obsessed on a different level). They can also be quite vague. Mine is just reading. I didn't realise for ages because in the past it had been specific books, but spending hours every day reading when I didn't have to was probably a sign.

If you have other neurodivergences/mental health conditions, it can impact the way you present with autism. I have ADHD and it means that, although I thrive under routine, I don't stick rigidly to my own routine because I can't.

You don't have to show every single trait.

I'll add more as/when I think of them.

[erigold13261]

Do you have neurodivergency HCs for the NSR cast?

Not extensively. Only a few vague ones really. This is gonna be a more messy post with not a lot of organization, so sorry bout that.

I definitely headcanon Papa, Mama, Yinu, 1010, Mayday, and Dodo as some kind of autistic. Though that could go to a lot of the cast actually.

Papa, Eloni, and Dodo are (was in Papa's case) non-verbal. Dodo being fully non-verbal, with Papa and Eloni being selectively mute (Papa being even less verbal than Eloni).

Neon J and Mama have PTSD, Neon from war and Mama from the death of Papa (also a grief disorder, but I see his death being so traumatic that she has similar symptoms to PTSD, especially if she needs to go to a hospital).

I saw a headcanon, or analysis, of Eve once that said she either had Bipolar disorder or BPD (I think it was BPD) so I kinda see her as having that. Maybe autism and trauma as well. She might also have an Avoidant Personality Disorder. So either way I do think she has a personality disorder.

Tila has schizophrenia. Another headcanon I saw someone else had around the start of NSR coming out, which I really liked but just haven't explored more. (Though it is less common for a teenager to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, it is still something that happens. I don't think Tila is fully diagnosed yet, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have it).

Purl is definitely something. Autistic is definitely one of them, but I see them as also having some kind of anger issues or personality disorder, I think some of the Cluster B and C personality disorders fit Purl a lot (like the Antisocial and Dependent Personality Disorders).

Oh yeah, Eloni, Purl, Eve, Remi, and Sofa also have sever anxiety. Honestly the whole Sayu Crew has anxiety. (Just figured out that phobias are a type of anxiety disorder so next paragraph will be that).

Zimelu has claustrophobia (small spaces), Haym has acrophobia (heights), and Rin has a pretty strong fear of bugs (not sure if it is on the same level to say it has entomophobia, but it is really bad at times which only gets worse with Eloni's pinned bug collection). Oh yea, Purl has thalassophobia (fear of the sea, which they hate given they are a navy bot, but the war fucked them up with the sea).

For DJ... I don't know, he does have some sort of superiority complex, but I've seen people analyze them and talk about how selfless they actually are in wanting to make sure humanity is remembered (he was just going to be the avatar for Earth). So like, I don't really know. There is the fandom headcanon that he has Narcissism, which I do think about some times. And honestly I remember someone with Narcissism saying the difference between someone with Narcissism and not is that a Narcissist can't be content, they always need that new fix to make them happy because they literally can't be content with life (at least that is how I am remembering it, I really hope I'm not misremembering and thinking of a different mental disorder), and with that i can see DJ as having Narcissism with the way he also acts in game (though it could literally just be a big ego).

He probably also has autism/sensory issues and depression. Actually, speaking of depression, I can see Mama, Zuke, Neon, Purl and Eloni as having depression. Also Dew to an extent.

Rin also has a really terrible memory. Whether that is because of a mental problem or mechanical one is up for debate, but it really doesn't remember things and sometimes that is a huge stressor for it, especially in relationships. Maybe it's ADHD, specifically the Predominantly Inattentive Presentation one/version (is version the right word to use here? idk).

And speaking of ADHD, I think Mayday, West, Remi, and Haym definitely have some form of ADHD. I can also see Zuke, Sofa, Papa, and Maragold as having some ADHD as well.

Carna is a kleptomaniac, or is at least showing early signs of kleptomania. Thankfully fae hasn't stolen anything outside of the mansion right now because fae hasn't been out much, but 1010 and Neon would have to keep a close eye on faer to make sure they either stop faer or pay for whatever is stolen.

Going back a bit, I think Sofa has an eating disorder, so does Purl (which isn't as impactful as they are a robot, but in human AUs Purl still has an eating disorder which gets really bad in their teens).

Kliff might also have some narcissism going on. Maybe some autism as well. I feel like he has something else going on, but I can't think of anything at the moment.

Oh Neon also had/has an addiction problem or a substance use disorder (he had it and have been sober, but it is still something he struggles with daily). Purl also has a drug problem, and I can see Zuke, West, Mayday, and Eve also having mild substance abuse problems. They would not be seen as fully addicted by societal standards (except maybe Purl, they are an addict definitely).

Tatiana, hmmm... I think she has an attachment disorder, or like a fear of abandonment that she copes with by pushing people away. Maybe a bit of depression too.

Also, though it is less a mental disorder and more signs/symptoms of other disorders, I think Mama, Neon, and Tatiana all have anger issues. Whatever it stems from, i don't know, but they have them.

There's probably more, or these will change at some point. But that's what I have for now. Sorry again for it being messy.

[dire-straits-fn8ic]

I don't have a sense of smell (never have) and am neurodivergent (ADHD, probably autism) and these feel very similar to me.

In both cases I'm placed into a world where I lack something everyone in society is expected to have, and through collective knowledge I have to learn what id otherwise be doing wrong, and adapt to fit in.

Take a shower to smell good, hell yeah I can do that. Make eye contact, but not too much, ok I'll vaguely guess at what a normal amount of eye contact means. Wet dogs smell bad, ok I'll keep my dogs dry. Don't stand too close to people. White people smell like wet dogs when they get wet, okay so if it rains I need to take a shower immediately? I don't know. Towels smell bad so air them out. Leave people alone when they look uncomfortable. Socks smell bad so hide them away, boots smell bad so air them out.

I have no way to gauge if I'm doing anything social or smell related the "right way" so I just tend to keep people at a distance. Which is nice, a couple arm lengths away is a good level of interaction.

[greetings-inferiors]

So there are downsides for getting a diagnosis for autism if it isn’t negatively affecting you in your life (it gives something to discriminate against - someone may meet me and go “yeah he’s probably autistic” but if it’s on my record then there’s no vagueness about it) but is there any reason not to try getting a diagnosis for adhd? Like I don’t know if I have it, but it’s a similar thing to autism where enough people have gone “yeah you probably have it” where I start to think I do. So is there any reason not to try for a diagnosis? Like if I don’t have adhd I’ll just be certain but if I do I can get help to focus better etc.

[becauseallhellseeisme]

In Rogue Planet, he has several moments of extreme empathy for both Ke Daiv and Sekot when he realizes that their experiences have been similar to his. Even if their similarities aren’t exact, when he’s able to project his own trauma onto theirs he’s able to relate to them and interact with them more easily.

I know this is an official autism trait, but... NTs are bad at relating, too. Just that most people they have to be able to relate to are NTs. There is a reason why "listen, don’t just wait for your turn" is a common rule for everyone, NTs included. NTs are bad at that. They are bad at listening to someone telling them about how they feel if it is not the expected NT experience. "Oh, gotcha, you do not have "The NT experience" because, surprise, you are not neurotypical".

Yes, on the surface level NTs can relate to people who are neurodivergent, but if you dig deeper you find out they also only have a vague idea about how you feel.

Anakin has intense defined interests in mechanics, often stating that he relates to machines and understands them better than he does with other people.

Yes, THAT!

I would like to argue that Anakin also has ADHD.

And Obi-Wan, I guess, is gifted. Because he is able to relate to Anakin on some level.

I took the RAADS-R Autism Assessment as Anakin, basing my answers to each question on textual evidence from Clone Wars Gambit, Jedi Quest, Rogue Planet, and the Star Wars prequel trilogy, as well as what I have read of the RotS novelization and Labyrinth of Evil. 

Please keep in mind that my interpretations of the scenes I used as evidence are probably affected by my own personal biases and the fact that I have autism too, so I’m not claiming that any of this is how the stories/dialogue were meant to be interpreted. It’s just for fun! In fact, if anyone interpreted these things differently I would love to know!

Anakin’s results:

Total score: 188 Language: 17 Social relatedness: 83 Sensory/motor: 51 Circumscribed interests: 37

Language

I based my interpretation of Anakin’s language almost entirely on his speech patterns in the prequel trilogy. Anakin’s tone and cadence are uneven unless he’s repeating back something someone else has said. He often has trouble controlling his volume or the speed of his talking. In Rogue Planet, Obi-Wan thinks “Anakin could become both expressive and imitative whenever he felt excited or ill at ease.�� 

His manner of communicating is up-front and honest, even when others don’t want to hear it. In the beginning of Attack of the Clones, he makes Padmé uncomfortable with his advances and does not notice until she comments on it. When she makes it clear that she is uncomfortable, he still wants to understand why. 

Social relatedness

Anakin has the ability to work well in groups when he is in control, but ultimately, he is an outsider aside from a few special people. Even then, his interest in the people who he chooses to spend his time with is specific and possessive. In the beginning of Jedi Quest, Obi-Wan worries that fourteen year old Anakin has no friends. He has trouble relating to others his age at the temple. Obi-Wan spends the rest of the series worrying about the ways Anakin interacts with the friends he makes and ultimately loses. 

Anakin’s concept of relationships is self-serving and one sided. He pined for Padmé for ten years without seeing her, obsessed with a concept of her in his mind that he formed when he was nine years old. He sees himself in others, but has trouble relating to how they feel unless he can put their feelings into his own perspective. In Rogue Planet, he has several moments of extreme empathy for both Ke Daiv and Sekot when he realizes that their experiences have been similar to his. Even if their similarities aren’t exact, when he’s able to project his own trauma onto theirs he’s able to relate to them and interact with them more easily.

Sensory/motor

Anakin has excellent fine motor skills, shown by his mastery of mechanics. Both his motor skills and sensory perceptions are intensified by his connection to the Force. 

“Is it possible you see nothing more than the tensions of approaching adulthood?” Mace asked. “No!” Anakin cried. “I see… too much, too much.” “Too much what?” “I burn like a sun inside!” The boy’s voice rang out in the chamber like a bell.

Particularly in Clone Wars Gambit and Rogue Planet, Anakin is thrown off and frustrated when his surroundings are too loud and too bright if they’re outside of a controlled environment that he enjoys. He is easily overwhelmed, but in battle, especially in a ship, he’s able to zero in his focus on the aspects of the scenario that he enjoys to overcome it. 

He frequently exhibits stimming (the repetitive performance of certain physical movements or vocalizations, as a form of behavior by persons with autism or other neurodevelopmental conditions) behaviors. Throughout Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith he can be seen picking objects up to turn over in his hands, tinkering with electronics, and rocking when sitting and standing in situations that are distressing to him. 

He’s described stimming in Rogue Planet as he’s taking in the sights and sounds of the new environment around him, often holding his hands out in front of himself and turning them over. 

He gave a small shiver, then he, also, rubbed his palms on his tunic, held them out, and looked around. 

One of Anakin’s most iconic and most heavily criticized lines in Attack of the Clones is his description of how he understands the world through sensory details: “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.”

Circumscribed interests

Anakin has intense defined interests in mechanics, often stating that he relates to machines and understands them better than he does with other people. In Clone Wars Gambit: Siege, he uses his special knowledge and connection to machines to rework a storm shield into one that can keep out battle droids. As early as nine years old, in The Phantom Menace, he was already building a podracer of his own, and by age twelve in Rogue Planet he still had that knack for machines and racing, which he used to modify a pair of racing wings to participate in a garbage pit race. In Attack of the Clones, after the death of his mother, he immediately goes back to working with machines to cope. When Padmé tries to talk to him he gets upset and sidetracks back to that interest.

“I brought you something. Are you hungry?” “The shifter broke. Life seems so much simpler when you’re fixing things. I’m good at fixing things. Always was. But I couldn’t… Why’d she have to die? Why couldn’t I save her? I know I could have!”

His interests are zeroed in, and when he wants to talk about them, he has trouble sensing that others don’t want to hear it. 

Obi-Wan let these words sit between them for some seconds before asking, blandly enough, “What does the ship mean to you?” “A ship that tunes itself to a need for speed… Wow!” Anakin said. “For me, that would be the perfect friend.” “That’s what I thought,” Obi-Wan said.

When he’s fixated on one point, it’s hard for him to see the bigger picture, no matter how many times those round him try to remind him of it. This is a trait that follows him throughout the entirety of his life. 

Total score

With a total score of 188, Anakin falls between "very strong evidence for autism” and the maximum possible score an autistic person can quire on the RAADS-R scale. For comparison, the mean score of autistic people is 130, and the minimum score at which autism is considered is 65. At 90, autism is considered highly likely. I also took the assessment with Obi-Wan in mind, drawing from the same sources as well as Jedi Apprentice, and scored 74, with the most focus in his results being in circumscribed interests and social relatedness. 

So many traits that Anakin’s character is criticized for are autistic traits, whether his writers made him that way intentionally or not. I think Hayden Christensen’s portrayal of him was genius and so heartfelt when viewed through this lens. Even when it isn’t being called autism, it’s clear when people recognize a collection of autism traits and characterize a character based on their perception of those traits. Anakin is an amazing case of unintentional autism representation, and the hatred and biases people have toward his character are often based on his autistic traits. 

[doedorothy]

see i dont really like the idea that jedidiah aa martin cant be headcanoned as autistic because hes like. a reflection of the fact that he doesnt get sydneys needs as a disabled chronically ill trans man right. because not only is it dumb to tell people he couldnt possibly be any of those things- not every disabled experience is the same, not every trans experience is the same, etc etc- its extremely fascinating if jedidiah Is one or more of these things (personally i see him as transfem comorbid adhd and autistic but thats just my personal take), as that puts everything into a whole other light.

if jedidiah is autistic, he was raised not knowing that, thats for certain- he was low support needs or perhaps had support needs that were not or have not been recognised. sydney however has been high support needs for a great deal of his life. jedidiah would have seen sydney's struggles and immediately assumed that thats what autism Has to look like, jedidiah couldnt possibly have it because jedidiah Isnt Sydney. jedidiah wouldve demonised himself for even thinking that maybe he had something VAGUELY similar to sydney because jedidiah views sydney as struggling so much more than him and therefore if jedidiah has problems that's just him trying to co-opt sydney's issues. so jedidiah being autistic and/or transfem/nonbinary/whatever youd like to hc him as. is fascinating because you have this person who has lower or less visible support needs than others and therefore devalues his own need for support. but still has them!!!!!!!! and you get his struggle with acceptance and recognising that he has needs Too and theyre different to sydneys and theres nothing Wrong with that.

also the opposite day episode was suuuuch autism behaviour i cant believe he wasnt written to be autistic w the way he behaved

tldr: seddie r t4t autistic4autistic