#i knew he won’t be there but STILL
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alpha tauri confirmed daniel is out for monza
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what if i ended it all right now.
#THEY KNOW WHAT THEYRE DOING#THEY KNEW WE WOULD EAT THIS UP FR ‼️#they saw how much of a reaction we had to the homoerotic chin grab#so they decided to feed us another sexually charged snippet#as a little treat#it’s not queerbaiting but that doesn’t mean i cant still get mad that they won’t end up together in this movie#wdym the mario movie isn’t just about these two i refuse to believe it.#i love how twinkified luigi is in this movie like he’s so girlypop and for what 😭#luigi#bowser#bowuigi#super mario bros#smb#super mario bros movie#mario movie#mario movie trailer#GAY#GAY PEOPLE REAL
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being disabled and having a support system is so important because it turns mundane (and often frustrating) tasks into acts of love.
everytime i clip my nails, i think of the high school teacher who helped me through seizures at least once a week for two years straight. everyday she’d gently take my hands and inspect my nails to make sure i was keeping them short enough that i couldn’t hurt myself while seizing.
it’s easier to be less ashamed of my mobility aids when one of my coworkers spent months building me different canes to use, colored to match my outfits and infused with glow-in-the-dark dye so i’d stop losing my cane in the dark parts of the building.
i eat cheesitz for salt when i’m feeling dizzy and it reminds me of high school, sitting next to my best friend and in the classroom of my favorite teacher who both kept salty snacks in their bags for when i wasn’t feeling good.
being disabled can suck in so many ways, but it’s also brought love into a lot of simple but impactful areas of my life.
#my mom leaves the room when i’m having seizures because it stresses her out#and said teacher above cradles my head in her lap and talks to me whether i’m unconscious or not#my dad gets annoyed the one time he’s called to deal with my seizures#and i think about the boy in my class who barely knew me and still carried me on his back for an entire field trip#because my teacher didn’t have the foresight to see how walking miles would be a problem#i have my first seizure on the floor of random building on that same field trip#and that teacher sits a few feet away and doesn’t do anything to help#while my best friends grips my hand and one of my classmates tucks a stuffed animal under my elbow for comfort#if being disabled has taught me one things#it’s there are people who will love you endlessly without thought#and other who won’t#and when you find those people who will love you it makes life ever so much easier#anyway happy disability pride month#disability#disability pride#disability pride month
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My favorite part of writing Lifeweaver is playing up his usual silly goofy funney guy act, then throwing in a “his family hasn’t talked to him in 10 years” or “every day he grapples with the knowledge that he could be killed at any moment and his creation used to usher in an ecological dystopia the likes of which we’ve never seen before”
#overwatch#lifeweaver#honestly what I love about him (of many things) is his moral greyness and his hubris#cause like. sure he wants to heal the world and all that#but he also knows full well what hells could be unleashed by a corporation getting hold of his ‘self-propagating biomass’#but he creates it anyway. because he can#and lbr you know there is zero chance that biolight will not eventually fall into wicked hands if Niran ‘gives it to the world’#once it’s out there he won’t be able to control who has it or what they do with it#so yeah. he knew all that entailed but he still wanted to play savior anyway#maybe to prove that he’s worth something - that his life is more than just a series of failures
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*he spilled my cup of paint water all over everything idk why I said he spilled watercolors I just woke up girls
I literally walked away for two minutes tops to make coffee and came back to his ass sitting on this water color palette and my painting open after spilling my watercolor water all over it
Look at that face. He knows he did something wrong hahahha
#I really wish I had a pic of him just sitting on the watercolors bc it was hilarious#like he looked so innocent and cute and I just knew his was was covered in various colors hashahwhwha#but i was more concerned with the toxicity so my immediate reaction was to try to clean his paws the best I could#and research#it won’t cause any skin or gastrointestinal issues so we’re good thankfully#he will be fine don’t worry lmao it’s water based watercolors#gonna watch him close just in case#grabbed him asap and a wash cloth and took him to the sink#but yes to reiterate it’s NOT TOXIC AND HE IS FINE I PROMISE#also thank goodness I grabbed him immediately before he started prancing around on the white carpet bc I would be yelled at for weeks#u have four bloody scratches on my face but there are not rainbow foot prints all over the house and he is safe so I am fine with that#i**#they’re ^#the way cats attack you and think they’re being punished when you’re literally potentially trying to just save their life#or help them#like unhooking their claw from somethin their stuck too#and like I give a fuck about clothes as much as my cat but there’s paint all over my favorite robe too now hahah#legit thiught the red streaks on my face were watercolor hahahaha so I was like oh shit that blood#I’m not mad#after I found out it wasn’t toxic and that he didn’t step all over the wet carpets and that he was okay i laughed for like 15 minutes#I’m still laughing like… y’all ☠️#please excuse my voice I’m a little sick and I sound like a southerner ew#like why do i sound like someone’s Christian Baptist mother offering someone cookies#Queso#my cats#lmao
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I love that the “There’s only one bed” trope for Symweaver would just be a normal day for them that they don’t even think twice about it. They’d sleep in each other’s beds in their dorm as students whenever they felt like it and still do the same on the Arcology. They’re at complete ease in each other’s presence that they never really thought to make it a big deal
The only differences are that Niran cuddles her a lot more because he likes how it’s a different vibe to intentionally snuggle somewhere away from home, and Satya studies his face a lot more because the environment isn’t the same and it’s comforting that he’s a universal constant to her
#symmetra#lifeweaver#symweaver#satya vaswani#niran pruksamanee#overwatch#Overwatch 2#she was probably uneasy about sleeping at the Arcology for a long time and would just constantly stare at him so he knew she was still wary#and he’d be thrilled the second he noticed she didn’t need to watch him anymore because she was so used to being there#she just vibes near him unless he asks if they can snug#he usually doesn’t sleep until ungodly hours but he does enjoy coming to bed and seeing satya sleeping there already#it makes him adore her even more every single time#he hates going to bed by himself so as long as he knows she’s in the room somewhere even if it’s not the same bed he feels comfortable#also I think Satya should be the hot one and he leeches off of her warmth because it’s funny that way#she likes how cool he feels so she doesn’t mind him clinging to her when they cuddle#I bet they’re disgusting to be around because they won’t get up if you accidentally walk in on them#Suraj is probably their number one hater from anytime he walked in on them being grossly lovey dovey at any given moment#I’m tired and laying in a hotel room at an anime con rn so I’m having eepy cozy thoughts rn
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 59
Chapter; Highlights
His ears still rang with the din of battle, his breath a rasping beat echoed by Aelin.
Atop the blood-slick battlements, their allies and companions around them, Rowan wordlessly passed Aelin the waterskin. She drank deeply, then handed it to Fenrys.
An unleashing and release. That's what the battle had been for his mate.
Hasar at last looked Aelin over. "I heard you put on a show today."
Rowan braced himself.
Aelin turned from the battlefield and inclined her head. "You look as if you did, too." Indeed, Hasar's ornate armor was splattered with black blood. She'd been in the thick of it, atop her Muniqi horse, and had ridden right up to the gates. But the princess made no further comment.
Irritation, deep and nearly hidden, flashed in Aelin's eyes. Yet she didn't speak again-didn't push the princess about their next steps. She just watched the battlefield once more, chewing on her lip.
She'd barely stopped during the battle, halting only when there had been no more Valg left to kill. And in the minutes since the walls had been cleared, she'd remained quiet— distant. As if she was still climbing out of that calm, calculating place she'd descended into while fighting. She hadn't bothered to remove any of her armor. The bronze battle-crown was caked with blood, her hair matted with it.
Chaol's father had taken one look at her armor, at Rowan's, and gone white with rage.
For now. They had bigger things to consider. Things that drove his mate to gnaw on her lip. When Prince Kashin's army might arrive, if they would indeed head northward to Terrasen. If today had been enough to win them over.
"Any nearby are to run here. Those farthest out will have to flee for the forest." Rowan met Aelin's stare. Her hands began shaking.
This cannot end here, she seemed to say.
Panic—panic indeed flared in her eyes. Rowan gripped her trembling hand and squeezed.
But there was no truth or lie that might soothe her. No truth or lie to save the army on the plain.
Something had gone wrong. Something was wrong.
The battlefield stretched into the distance, healers darting amongst the felled bodies with white banners high to indicate their locations. So many. So many dead and wounded. A sea of them.
Elide reached Chaol's side just as Nesryn Faliq leaped atop her beautiful ruk, launching into a dive for the army below. No-the other ruks.
Elide laid a hand on Lord Chaol's shoulder, drawing his attention from where he watched Nesryn fly off. Blood-splattered, but his bronze eyes were clear. And full of terror.
Any message that Yrene had given Elide faded from her memory. "What's wrong?"
It was Aelin who answered, her bloodied armor strange and ancient. A vision of old. "The dam is going to break," the queen said hoarsely. "And wipe away anyone on the plain."
Oh gods. Oh gods.
Elide glanced between them, and knew the answer to her next question: What can be done?
Nothing.
Ruks took to the skies, flapping toward them, soldiers in their talons and clinging to their backs.
"Has anyone warned the healers?" Elide pointed to the white banners waving so far out into the plain. "The Healer on High?" Hafiza was down there, Yrene had said.
Silence. Then Prince Sartaq swore in his own tongue, and sprinted for his golden ruk. He was spearing for the battlefield within seconds, his shouts ringing out. Kadara dipped every few moments, and when she rose again, another small figure was in her talons. Healers. Grabbing as many of them as he could.
Elide whirled to her companions as soldiers began running for the keep, trampling corpse and injured alike. Orders went out in the language of the southern continent, and more soldiers on the battlefield leaped into action.
"What elsewhat else can we do?" Elide demanded. Aelin and Rowan only stared toward the battlefield, watching with Fenrys and Gavriel as the ruks raced to save as many as they could. Behind them, Princess Hasar paced, and Chaol and his father murmured about where they might fit everyone in the keep. Those who survived.
Elide looked at them again. Looked at all of them.
And then asked quietly, "Where is Lorcan?" None of them turned. Elide asked, louder, "Where is Lorcan?" Gavriel's tawny eyes scanned hers, confusion dancing there. "He ... he went out onto the battlefield during the fighting. I saw him just before the khagan's troops reached him."
"Where is he?" Elide's voice broke. Fenrys faced her now. Then Rowan and Aelin. Elide begged, voice breaking, "Where is Lorcan?" From their stunned silence, she knew they hadn't so much as wondered.
Elide whirled to the battlefield. To that endless stretch of fallen bodies. Soldiers fleeing. Many of the wounded being abandoned where they lay. So many bodies. So, so many soldiers down there.
"Where." No one answered. Elide pointed toward the battlefield and snarled at Gavriel, "Where did you see him join with the khagan's forces?"
"Nearly on the other side of the field," Gavriel answered, voice strained, and pointed across the plain. "I—I didn't see him after that."
"Shit," Fenrys breathed.
Rowan said to him, "Use your magic. Jump to the field, find him, and bring him back."
Relief crumpled Elide's chest.
Until Fenrys said, "I can't."
"You didn't use it once during the battle," Rowan challenged. "You should be fully primed to do it."
Fenrys blanched beneath the blood on his face, and cast pleading eyes to Elide. "I can't."
Silence fell on the battlements.
Then Rowan growled, "You won't." He pointed with a bloody finger to the battlefield.
"You'd let him die, and for what? Aelin forgave him." His tattoo scrunched as he snarled again.
"Save him."
Fenrys swallowed. But Aelin said, "Leave it, Rowan." Rowan snarled at her too. She snarled right back. "Leave it."
Some unspoken conversation passed between them, and the hope flaring in Elide's chest went out as Rowan backed down. Gave Fenrys an apologetic nod. Fenrys, looking like he was going to be sick, just faced the battlefield again.
Elide backed away a step. Then another.
Lorcan couldn't be dead.
She would know if he were dead. She would know it, in her heart, her soul, if he were gone.
He was down there. He was down there, in that army, perhaps injured and bleeding out — No one stopped her as Elide raced inside the keep. Each step limped, pain cracking through her leg, but she didn't falter as she hit the interior stairwell and plunged into the chaos.
She had made him a promise.
She had sworn him an oath, all those months ago.
I will always find you.
Soldiers and healers fled up the stairs, shoving past Elide. The shouting was near-deafening, bouncing off the ancient stones. She battled her way down, sobbing through her teeth.
I will always find you.
Pushing, elbowing, bellowing at the frantic people who ran past her, Elide fought for each step downward. Toward the gates.
People screamed, a never-ending flood surging up the stairs. Still Elide pushed her way down, losing a step here, another there. They did not even look at her, even try to clear a way as they flowed upward. It was only when Elide lost another step that she roared into the stairwell, "Clear a path for the queen!"
No one listened, so she did it again. She filled her voice with command, with every ounce of power that she'd seen the Fae males use to intimidate their opponents. "Clear a path for the queen!"
This time, people pressed against the walls.
Elide took the small opening, and screamed her order again and again, ankle barking with every step down.
But she made it. Made it to the chaotic lower level, to the open gates teeming with soldiers. Beyond them, bodies stretched into the horizon. Warriors and healers and those bearing the wounded rushed toward any stairwell they could find.
Elide managed all of five limping steps toward the open gate before she knew it would be impossible. To cross the field, to find him on the endless plain, before that dam burst and he was swept away. Before he was gone forever.
He was not dead.
He was not dead.
I will always find you.
Elide scanned the gates, the skies for any sign of a ruk that might carry her. But they soared to the upper levels, crawling with soldiers and healers, some even depositing their charges onto the mountain face itself. And at ground level, none would hear her cries for help.
No soldiers would stop, either.
Elide scanned the other end of the gates' entryway.
Beheld the horses being led out from their stables by frantic handlers, the beasts bucking at the panic around them as they were hauled toward the teeming ramps.
A black mare reared, her cry a sharp warning before she slashed her hooves at the handler. Lord Chaol's horse. The handler shrieked and fell back, barely grasping the reins as the horse stomped, her ears flat to her head.
Elide did not think. Did not reconsider. She limped for the horses and the stables.
She said to the frantic handler, still backing away from the half-wild horse, "I'll get her." The man, white-faced, threw her the reins.
"Good luck." Then he, too, ran.
The mare Farasha-yanked so hard on the reins that Elide was nearly hurled across the stones. But she planted her feet, leg screaming, and said to the horse, "I have need of you, fierce-heart." She met Farasha's dark, raging eyes. "I have need of you." Her voice broke.
"Please."
And gods above, that horse stilled. Blinked.
Horses and handlers streamed past them, but Elide held firm. Waited until Farasha lowered her head, as if in permission.
The stirrups were low enough thanks to Lord Chaol's long legs that Elide could reach them. She still bit down on her shout as her weight settled on her bad ankle, as she pushed, and heaved herself into Farasha's fine saddle. A small mercy, that they had not even had time to unsaddle the horses after battle. A set of what seemed to be braces hung from its sides, surely to keep Lord Chaol stabilized, and Elide unhooked them. Any weight, anything to slow her, had to be discarded.
Elide gathered the reins. "To the battlefield, Farasha."
With a whinnying cry, Farasha plunged into the fray.
Soldiers leaped from their path, and Elide did not stop to apologize, did not stop for anyone, as she and the black mare charged toward the gates. Then through them.
And onto the plain.
#Chapter 59#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#Nesryn Faliq#Chaol Westfall#Yrene Towers#Gavriel#Princess Hasar#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Fenrys Moonbeam#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 59 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Aelin won’t take itUnleashing&releaseI KNEW SHE HAD A PLANdeeply waitingHis mate-Their world-Wild-Irritation-She didn’t get impressed#Out of calm-Too soft-NowNOW-Pick anywhere and go-the magic-address later-she gave an option: panic.-Her water magic daughter of Mab#can she control it?-She knows he’s alive because she still is but Valg the fear is real-Ruken yes-Refused to go-Lorcan NO DYING#the audiobook of this will destroy me-THANK YOU ELIDE GOOD QUESTION-Strange ancient-how had no one wondered#I cant/uwont-he didn’t mean it like that-leave it-why?-I will always find u-THATconversation!what was the conversation-floods-shared power#Had he not been swept into the dance of battle he might have stopped to marvel at them. — The Darghan#And those that don't make it to the ruks? the princess pressed something like panic cracking through her fierce face.#Rowan's own heart thundered. They had won the battle only for the enemy to get the final say in their victory. Morath.#It would destroy this army this shred of hope in a simple brutal blow Was it a trap all along?-It’s a trap! Did he pick Anielle for this?DA#NoNot like thisTheres nowhere for them to goThink laterRunNowPut them on the rocks anywhere.magic what if-open the gates-Oakwald#Sent by Yrene to see how Chaol fared a panting fearful question from a wife who had not heard anything of him since the battle#ELIDE KNEW#where is Lorcan going on the list of things that broke me cause Elide knew but also her heart knew cause it wouldve stopped without him#the protective LAY OFF Fenrys and then snarl and Rowan’s snarl back for Lorcan but then explanation & almost pack like mentality#I WILL FIND YOU I WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU#DO THEY HAVE MACELENA VIBES
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oh! oh </3 oh!! okay!
#he KNEW that apologizing in the nest was futile but when he thought riko was back he STILL APOLOGIZED#HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHO WAS TOUCHING HIM BUT HE WAS ALREADY APOLOGIZING#his genuine confusion makes me SO SAD#he’s been through so much but he's still like. so...innocent#his “normal” is so fucked up. he can’t even fathom how wrong the things that happened to him were#he knows firsthand that apologizing does nothing to break his fall and he's like... “is this a trick?”#like “what do you mean you’re not going to beat the shit out of me after i accidentally hit laila in a triggered state?”#“what do you mean there are ways to solve problems without violence?”#and him saying “i can't promise it won’t happen again” (lashing out when triggered)#as in: when it happens again i am expecting to be punished#as in: i will apologize if that's what you want. if that means you won't hit me. if it pleases you.#as in: but when it happens again-do what you must. i will deserve it.#he’s been hurt so often so badly that protecting himself is second nature#he has never been around safe people#his first instinct is fight or flight#his body is protecting him before his brain can catch up#and he obviously does not want to hurt them#but its so fucking HEARTBREAKING because he KNOWS he won't be able to control it when fight or flight kicks in#and if they are going to be around him it is inevitable he will resort to violence. it is all he knows.#but he still cares enough to prepare them for that reality#like. “i can't promise i won't hurt you again” and “i don't mean to” and “punish me as you see fit”#he's giving them permission to HURT HIM for protecting himself#tsc spoilers#tsc#the sunshine court#all for the game#aftg#jean moreau#the foxhole court#tfc
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People who see entire demographics of humanity as “the enemy” are so baffling to me, whether they’re incels/misogynists or racists or radfems or whomever I just look at them and wonder why you’d choose a life of such misery. People of a certain gender, sexuality, race or whatever demographic are not inherently your enemy just because they are part of said demographic. Gender and race essentialism is incredibly dangerous and untrue and it especially confuses me when people who claim to be trans allies abide by the former because that mindset is especially dangerous to trans people.
People are individuals, not a hive mind. Society as a whole has massive issues, and some groups may benefit from them more than others (like how the patriarchy hurts men but they still benefit from it far more than women ever will because it has men in mind, albeit only a certain type of man), but individuals are individuals. And what a depressing life it must be to instead navigate the world believing that millions of people are beneath you before they’ve even spoken a word.
#Like I get women being wary of men. I get that and even I am tbh#I’m very visibly queer and rather short most men could kill me and I’d be powerless#But that’s not what I’m talking about I’m talking about the ‘fuck men they can die’ shit#Or people like my uncle who’s antisemitic because a Jewish person he knew happened to be quite nasty#I’ve been abused by cis women many times but they were dicks because they were dicks. Not because they were women#And don’t even get me started on incels. ‘Women suck because they won’t fuck me’ go to therapy#All misogynists need mandatory therapy before they’re allowed to talk to women again please#I would say I’m CAUTIOUS of women now but I still love them very much and I’m working through my wariness in therapy myself#Me being cautious is my own problem to deal with its not women’s fault as a whole#But yeah. I understand caution due to trauma. I do not understand hatred#And JKR for example very much needs to work through her hatred…#equality#feminism#intersectional feminism#actual feminism#misogyny#racism#transphobia#gender essentialism#race essentialism#antisemitism#anti terf#anti radfem#terfs fuck off#radfems fuck off
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tw abuse in the tags
#my dad decided that he was going to share his posts on threads where he trauma dumped shit with me and my sister#and it pisses me off so much that he can talk about all the trauma he’s gone through#and all the shitty things he’s gone through#and literally anything and everything that’s happened to him#but won’t acknowledge that he abused me my mom and my sister growing up#i got the worst of it all bc ofc i fucking did my sister was his favorite and i knew from a young age that she was#still is tbh#i’ve only been back in contact with my dad for a little over 5 years and since then there have been 3 separate occasions#where he’s acknowledged what he’s done to me and how it’s affected our relationship#the last one being last year where he actually apologized#but the first was in 2019 when we first started talking again and then again in 2021#and then last year in 2023#and i can’t talk about the shit he put me through bc he shuts down and doesn’t want to talk about it#and it pisses me tf off that he can do literally anything else to better himself#but the minute i want to even throw a passing fancy towards our past he freezes#and i feel like i have to change the subject bc lol dad’s uncomfortable!#i’ll admit i don’t talk about the shit he put me through willingly to anyone not even my therapist#but how the fuck are you going to sit there and trauma dump to the person YOU traumatized? and won’t talk about the trauma with?#fuck all the way off that’s fucking bullshit and we all know it
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I wonder how different my feelings on Drew would be if there wasn’t that freaking spare laptop scene
#PAINN. THAT SCENE PUT ME IN SO MUCH PAIN FOR DREW. AND THEN IT ALL GETS RESOLVED ANYWAYS SO NO ONE KNOWS EXCEPT JAKE LIKE HHHH#I mean I ALREADY felt bad for him BEFORE that. it started when we find out his girlfriend is cheating on him. but we didn’t know the#characters as well back then so I was just like ‘dang that’s crazy’. then I started seeing him get more upset about Jake leaving and started#to feel more sympathetic towards him I was like ‘this guys GF is cheating on him and his best friend won’t hang out with him anymore’#AND THE SPARE LAPTOP SCENE MADE ME SNAP I WAS LIKE 😭 DREW NOOOO#MY BIGGEST QUESTION DID JAKE GHOST HIM? DID HE SAY ‘sorry grounded from that too’ OR JUST GHOST HIM?????#I love Drew so much. Guy who doesn’t know how to express his feelings fr. I’m satisfied with his drake up speech.#is it painful to see him say all that stuff? yes. DID JAKE KINDA DESERVE IT THO. not entirely but it’s PRETTY UNDERSTANDABLE that Drew would#snap at him. HE LITERALLY KNEW HIS GF WAS CHEATING ON HIM FOR MONTHS AND NEVER TOLD HIM UNTIL HE WANTED DREW TO SUFFER.#wait I should stop rambling about Drew (I could make a whole post about him) what was the post about again. THE SPARE LAPTOP SCENE.#yeah I’m just wondering like I PROBABLY would still sympathize with Drew without that scene but OHHH MY GOD that scene HURT ME SO BAD. I had#to pause and tell my sister how much PAIN I was in from watching this freaking GACHA SERIES#the music freaks
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𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 Think I’m just gonna disappear into webfishing and disco elysium for the rest of the night 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
#if anyone wants to join on webfishing hit me up#maybe even just go to bed like I just feel empty#this cannot be happening#and I know my parents and brothers won’t even get why I’m so upset why I feel so betrayed#I’m fucking openly out to my parents queer and trans and I feel betrayed and they won’t ever understand why and it’s so upsetting and I know#I wont be taken seriously if I get upset it’s maddening and upsetting#how could my mother who cried to me about wanting me to openly trans and myself do this to me like I knew but just ignored but it still hurt#and then my dads brain is ruined with conspiracies and idiotic propaganda like we are not the same and it sucks so bad seeing someone you#love be that and believe these things and vote for someone who not only wants to take my rights and make transition even harder/nonexistent#but also a man who incited violence against people like me who didn’t ever try to hide how he felt about people like me and minorities and#they just don’t care it’s my life and they don’t see how it directly impacts me. they just want lower gas and groceries and that’s not gonna#fucking happen#I’m sorry I’m obviously having a rough night like everyone else I just need to vent
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my opinion on season 11 is that ian and mickey were all over the place from episode to episode and i ultimately wasn’t very happy with where it ended for them
#just felt kind of incomplete and boring in terms of their getting an apartment arc#like mickey was still genuinely very unhappy about it and they just left it like that?#and obviously i didn’t love how they did the terry stuff.#i think. there’s something to it because you can never truly predict how you’re gonna feel about something like that#even if it’s a piece of shit who you truly hate like. feelings happen.#and that could have been interesting to explore but it wasn’t done in a way that felt interesting#it just felt like a waste of time when we could’ve been doing other stuff with their screentime#and the beginning was so good i was having sooo much fun when ian was like yeah let’s steal an ambulance and yes we can have guns again.#let’s fuck in the ambulance. etc.#that was so hot and then they ruined it both in that scene that i wanted to SEE and with where they took the story after#like how quickly ian jumps back to ‘well we won’t do crimes then :)’ i thought he was having FUN doing crimes#like are they still doing their security shit? are they still working with stolen equipment?? i want them to do crimes :(#(when i lay it all out like that i’m like perhaps ‘ian being exited about doing crimes’ is not a Good Sign for him. but#it really wasn’t presented that way in context. like i don’t think that’s what they were going for there#and he can be doing better and still have fun doing stupid shit#a la their little outing before he got arrested by the military#yes that was like. 5 years earlier but i’m still like what happened to THAT ian he got boring#and i’m not saying like. him being healthy is boring. i’m saying let him be healthy and also have fun.#anyway.)#also like. signing a lease on the spot against mickeys wishes. kind of fucking impulsive and reckless. but no it’s bc he wants#to have a better life or whatever so it’s fine.#idk i just want to see them steal shit and fuck in an ambulance#and i mean like OVERALL ian has not been as much of a Crime Guy as others. certainly not compared to mickey#like he’s DONE crimes obviously but not in a. it’s his lifestyle way. i guess?#so idk why i’m like i want him to go BACK to that if that wasn’t exactly what he was doing in the first place#but he LIKES doing shady shit with mickey and having fun and idk why they bothered showing us that#if they were gonna drop it by the end of the season that i can only assume they knew would be the final season#it just felt like they didn’t know what to do with the two of them all season and they ended the season in a less satisfying place#than they started#r.txt
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I’m honestly bewildered, how does a family that’s progressive and accepting of other people, with multiple trans and gay friends I remember meeting as a kid, result in 3 out of 3 of their kids feel uncomfortable coming out to them or honestly wishing they hadn’t. Like what the hell even.
#just saw a tweet from one of my brothers and idk what specifically he was talking about and won’t make assumptions directly#but what the fuck even#how do you fumble that badly#I’m still so fucking pissed at the YEARS of aphobia from my parents and especially my mom#Jesus I think I’m aro too honestly and I’m strongly avoiding that topic in my mind cause I know she’d flip out if she ever knew#she still tells people I’m fucking bi#like great she stopped the aphobia but she’s still not like- ugh I don’t know#not like my dad would ever comment on the asexuality anyway so I guess they’re doing the same thing#can’t comment on what pen’s going through but I know it’s not particularly fun either#and no idea what Kendall’s going through but apparently there’s something there#well some ideas but I’m not just gonna assume anything
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Not to be too personal or too much of a sad bastard but
Happy Father’s Day to Professor Layton, Miles Edgeworth, and Kyle Hyde.
These characters were the ones that were there for me when my real father wasn’t. I know they’re not real, and Kyle especially would HATE that I’m including him in this, but when I was a little kid peering around the curtain to see if my father was at my recital and always seeing an empty chair next to my mom, I always knew that those three would always be there for me, if I just turned on my DS.
They never let me down and if I am a kind, considerate person, if I am a true gentleman, if I believe in justice and that standing up for others is important but not as important as standing with others, if I believe in second chances and forgiveness and the infinite nuance in people and their ability to change and be better… it is because of the example set by these characters. They’re not perfect but they’re actively trying and they make me believe that I can, too. That even when I’m not being the kind of person they’d be proud of, that I can still try a little harder and it’s never too late to start anew.
So yeah. Happy Father’s Day to Professor Layton, Edgeworth, and Kyle. 🤎🩷🖤 And especially to my biological father, I wish him a Father’s Day. I hope wherever he is, he’s having a day. ❤️
#not going to tag because this is personal#but my followers get to see it#yeah I have daddy issues what of it#you would too if you knew you were gay in the second grade and your father owns more than one red hat#you would too if your younger brother died when you were six and when you were eight your father told you he ‘wanted another son#and got you instead’ thereby making you an elementary schooler with survivors guilt who actively daydreamed about a world#where your brother lived and you died so your dad was finally happy#you would too if your father actually accused you of personally being involved with stealing the 2020 election#you would too if you told him he was the reason that you felt like god couldn’t love you the way you were and he responded ‘and I stand byit#you would too if when you told him you were gay his first response was no you’re not#and his second was ‘if you marry a woman you won’t be welcome in my home anymore’#you would too if you grew up in a house where the idea that family is forever#felt more like a threat than a comfort even though one of your nuclear family members had died#so yeah wherever he is having not heard from his kids today I hope he feels even just a fraction#of as shitty as he made me feel just for having the nerve to exist#and thank you to the characters I loved when I was a child for helping me believe there were still good men out there
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I wanna flesh out a yakuza oc but every time I think about it I end up thinking about an oc of mine who already Exists who’s not a yakuza oc. but is, in fact, an oc who is a yakuza. and that fact is genuinely completely unrelated
#he existed WAY before I started playing yakuza or knew really anything about it#actually he contributes to why I got into yakuza to begin with. cause when my friend first showed me y0 I was like ough… my character#grew up in this exact environment and culture and structure and etc (son of a patriarch)#so it was legitimately a good reference for his background and stuff#I kinda wanna talk about him/his background more on here but. like i said he’s. not technically a yakuza oc#and he can’t be because he. canonically. has PLAYED yakuza. like the games EXIST cause it’s just a normal real world type universe and#I won’t get into all this much but he ends up in the states on the dl for Reasons. accidentally ends up with a son when he’s 22 (son’s#mother being significantly younger but again we’re not gonna get into THAT mess). ends up seeing the first game being sold somewhere in nyc#and is unable to restrain his curiosity about it (as an Actual Yakuza) so he ends up getting his son a ps2 for his birthday partly just#as an excuse to buy and play yakuza 1 because he NEEDS to know what’s in it#something something it ends up being a weird bonding thing with his son who’s definitely too young to be watching this game being played#(he was born the same year as haruka so he’d be like. 8-9. also already a concerningly violent child with many issues but. anyway)#something something he ends up disappearing out of the blue from the states when his son is 12 but the pastime still sticks for said son#from then on. so uh. yeah weirdly significant that these games Exist in this story/universe bdsjhfdfjnd#idk why I’m avoiding saying his name. his name’s asura. he’s a year or two older than daigo (born 1974) and his family’s supposed to be a#pretty powerful one in the tokyo area and he was supposed to be a nepo baby sorta like daigo except he’s not Technically an only child- he#has a much younger sister. but obviously she wasn’t gonna be considered for taking over their father’s seat nor would she want to#she wants absolutely nothing to do with any of it and changes her last name pretty soon after moving to the US to get away from them#no beef with her brother or anything she was just treated absolutely horribly and disgustingly by older members of their family growing up#ANYWAY I should stop talking bdshshcbsnnf I didn’t mean to infodump all this the lore is just. deep with these guys#Asura wasn’t even made to be a particularly prominent character or anything it’s his SON who’s a Bonafide Main Character and asura’s ties in#the story are mostly related to Him. (though his sister is also a pretty prominent character so there’s connection there too)#rambling#also one more note. yes. the timing and location of where asura would’ve first bought yakuza 1 means that it would most likely be the#infamous original english dub version. which is hilarious to think about#especially because his son’s mom (I keep calling her that because they weren’t really in a Relationship they just co-parented and lived#together a little less than half the time. it’s complicated) Did Not Approve of a game that Adult around their kid. so she would not be fond#of walking in the room and hearing TEN YEARS IN THE JOINT MADE YOU A FUCKING PUSSY#luckily she was so young and considered her son a lost cause and a burden as it is so. she complained but didn’t really do anything about#it. I mean shit she was like. only around 24-25 I think. but yeah
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