#i kinda want the angst lol
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Reverse Uno while I think of my own response…
In your HC, do Casey and Kaycee have any long-term effects from the chemical attack or its treatment?
Hey there! Thanks for the Reverse Uno!
Both of them have lingering PTSD as a result of the attack. They already had anxiety disorders prior to the attack, so this doesn't help. The thing about PTSD and anxiety, in general, is that it never fully goes away. So, each of them will have times in their lives when this will rear its head.
Casey will struggle a bit during her pregnancies, and when her children are very young - the normal anxiety parents have about their children will be exacerbated for her. Ironically, her third pregnancy (which nearly costs her life) will have a calming effect. She'll emerge from that, so grateful for a second chance; she just wants to live life to its fullest.
For Kaycee, it will become an issue after her father's death when she becomes preoccupied with her mother's health. When her mother passed, it will really really hit her. She will deal with a very deep depression, and her anxiety will be at a level she hasn't seen in a very long time.
I also want to address Tobias & Ethan's PTSD, respectively. Neither of them will have come out of that unscathed.
As far as physical ramifications - I have not thought of any that will impact Kaycee, but as far as Casey goes...
Even though she's almost a decade younger than Tobias, she does pass before him after a battle with an illness that is linked to the long-term effects of the attack. This will be extremely painful for Tobias, who feels like he failed her somehow (even though he hasn't). I will eventually write this. But I've always said when I post that fic, that will be when I'm done here... when I have no more stories to tell... and I'm not there yet. But, I could always change my mind and post it anyway! lol
Thanks for the ask, Mal!
#open heart#ethan ramsey#ethan x kaycee#tobias carrick#tobias x casey#chemical attack#asks answered#i kinda want the angst lol
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Ok but hear me out.
Give me a Shen Yuan that was sick in his original body, ye? Nothing too special, I know, but please stay with me on this one-
Make him transmigrate, like he does die, he does get transported into the other world, but it's not as SQQ/SJ.
He has his own original body, maybe he looks a bit more like a xianxia character to fit in, maybe he looks drop dead gorgeous, sure!
But he's still sick
His sickness is still with him, and it's getting worse
Like, SY is actively slowly but surely dying, while maybe he befriends TLJ, SXY and ZZL (if he transmigrates pre-canon) and the three are trying to help him.
Maybe he meets a child SJ and takes him with him, so the poor child watches the only person that cares for him, actively dying.
Maybe he somehow becomes a beloved friend, peak lord or anything that makes the Cang Qiong sect adore him, and therefore be willing to find any cure for him.
Heck, maybe he's a powerful yet sickly and fragile demon!
Maybe he's even apart of the northern realm with MBJ, idk!
But the one thing stays the same.
Sy is dying.
Maybe it's not noticeable at first, like you'd take one look at him and sure, maybe he a looks a bit more tired, a bit paler, maybe even a bit thinner than what's considered healthy. Maybe he let's out a caugh here and there, some completely normal things.
But then there are those small (sometimes rather big) fits where his illness acts up.
Ones where he curls up on the ground, gritting his teeth in exctruciating pain as he coughs out blood, maybe he faints, maybe he has any other symptoms.
And then it gets worse, his health escalates, maybe he can't walk anymore as he's slowly losing his motor functions, maybe he's getting much weaker, his breathing worse as he feels like he's suffocating. Heck, give him any curse marks and stuff too, while you're at it, maybe even without-a-cure!
Point being, SY is dying, and there is no cure.
His death is fated to happen, while he's just waiting and wasting away, he's not that upset either (maybe a little bit).
Give me an au where SY is the mentor, the parental figure of all the sect leaders and demons, give me an au where SY is such a sweet and kind hearted person, one who still loves beasts and demons and everyone, yet is also slowly but surely being poisoned by the very air he's breathing, his body shutting down and wasting away as he's waiting for death, while everyone weeps.
Everyone is trying find a cure, maybe make one too, yet it's all in vain.
SY dies, he no longer has to endure the suffering of his pains, his illnesses, and while he passes away, he leaves behind many mourning a precious and beautiful soul.
#i kinda just want ppl to suffer ngl#kinda why I thought about this#also because I just really want a sick SY au where he's loved but also actively dying#still a very fun au tho :D#no ships tho#sy can have a system too#tho that's debatable#I just want angst and ppl to suffer with me#i want ppl to cry and be in pain as well lol <3#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#scumbag self saving system#shen jiu#svsss#mxtx svsss#svsss au
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Ok, I recently wrote an essay [here] talking about the definition and duties of civil engineering as well as the ethics because of the brain rot @swordfright gave me with calling Dream Sam’s ultimate engineering project. So, because I actually am a civil engineer I took it upon myself to design the title and summary of quantities sheets just like I do at work for roads but with Dream as the project instead. And in honor of angst day sponsored by @sixteenth-day-event, I figured I’d share it because I feel like it kinda works for the prison of the mind prompt.
“Sam’s “ultimate engineering project” he deemed too damaged like a bumpy road or crumbling building that wasn’t worthy of patching and filling in the cracks or reinforcing, that’s too eroded to be fixed and preserved. So, Sam strived to tear him down to the bedrock so he could remake, remold, and reengineer Dream according to his design for the common safety, public health and well-fair.”
{These are very similar to the actual sheets I make day to day, which I shall not share for the sake of doxing my location, but yea pretty much everything has a significance. Some of it doesn’t necessarily make sense but that was because I was more so taking inventory of what we see in lore (so you know I counted ;) lol)}
#sixteenthdayevent#AAANNNNNGGST#Ah and now you see why I’ve been digging up all the prison lore and inventories ;D…. my brain rot is too powerful#still never got wardens torment enchants though :( did for the shovel and how which I’ll now have to write torture scenes for…#so ummm stay tuned for that in Misery Loves An Idiot… Dream going to have lots of fun I’m sure >:)#c!dream#dsmp#dreblr#dream smp#dsmp dream#dsmp analysis#dsmpblr#prison arc#dsmp art#pandora’s vault has a singular purpose#flora favs#pandora’s vault#c!dream fanart#flora does art apparently#ah Sam… such a good engineer… if only he realized Dream was a person not a condemned structure oof#if y’all are curious enough I might share a irl work example with different numbers and stuff but didn’t want to bore you XD#happy angst day :)… wait isn’t that everyday? lol#can we talk about how I’ve done all of these prompts as descriptions of metaphors and stuff kinda funny#civil engineering
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hibiscia!!! Sorry if youve explained before but is there something specific about reset-remember fics that you hate? I don't really like them either but for me it's just because I feel like a lot of authors type sans in very ooc ways
They're completely antithetical to Sans' character arc for the sake of cheap and easy angst. The nature of his brand of cosmic horror isn't in reliving his life again and again, that's Flowey's. Sans knows OF the anomaly, knows that it's manipulating time and knows it's a threat to the entire universe, but he doesn't know how or why, because he doesn't remember.
And that's crucial! him being mostly in the dark in spite of the MANY warning signs about us... because it's in that doubt that he remains hopeful. YES we could potentially end the world... but what if we don't? yes we have unimaginable power over everyone else and we can bring back time, but what if we're just.... sad? he needs that gap in his knowledge so he can take a leap of faith across it, it's his entire character arc in the pacifist run. sans THINKS he's given up, he wants to have given up, he chose to do it because there's a comfort in that. in contenting yourself with good food and bad laughs. there's peace. but he hasn't given up, not really. on himself? maybe. but not in us.
there's no way to have that arc if he remembers resets.
#this is also why i don't like post pacifist sans angst where he worries about resets. unless there's like a Reason for frisk to reset#kinda like sam did in UG with the incident with the blasters#because ppl take his lines during the NM fight as a given without considering that... it's the fucking NM run? lol#he's talking about reaching the surface from the point of view of a sans who's only ever been antagonized by the anomaly#ie reaching the surface meant through asgore's plan being successful#pacifist achieves that in a scenario where he actively befriends and loves and cares about the anomaly. he trusts us!!#it would feel unfair to his friend if he were convinced they were going to shit on their happy ending. that's a really shitty thing to thin#it's actually sth i wanted to handle in dv. having a kid REALLY fucks with his paranoia. it's irrational but understandable#that doesn't stop him from feeling guilty towards frisk for worrying about it. or feeling worried at all#undertale#sans#answered asks#metanalysis
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As promised, here's that fusion post for the three people that asked for it (drops it and runs).
Ford thinks of himself and Stan as one, an extension of each other, and lowkey hates that its not true nor possible.
And Mabel really shouldn't have shown him Steven Universe because now he's obsessing over the concept of fusions and his desire to be one with stan.
Now lets say this is Pre-Weird and everything is still tense between them and they aren't exactly talking but despite that ford still wants to be close and he knows stan does too.
He can see it in the broken resigned looks Stan keeps throwing his way. And listen, Ford isn't the best at communication but he can fix this. He may still be angry and self righteous and an asshole but he can fix them.
So now he spends an even more absurd amount of time in the lab trying to making it his reality and entirely disregards his base needs to the point even dipper is concerned.
He has a journal dedicated to this idea where he keeps all his notes and theories on how to make it possible. Would he have to alter their DNA for it to work or could it be possible for them as they are?
While doing the tests and research for his fixation he remembers a dimension he briefly travelled to back when he was younger and fresh through the portal. One where this concept, his desire, his fantasy, his wish was real. A dimension where it was was their culture, their way of life. And while he did think it was interesting then, he was young and angry and raw with unrestrained hurt. Too emotional to stop and study the practice the way he should have.
He beats himself up over it now. If only he had been thinking more logically him and stan could be one already. They wouldn't have to be so... apart.
He doesn't have time to dwell on his shortcomings though. He has to figure this out. He doesn't know exactly why but he feels like he's running out of time. Like he has to do this now or he'll never have the chance again.
Eventually he has his prototype and it functions well... enough. He just has one more trial to run. Except Stan comes down to check on him. 'Worried ford isn't taking care of himself properly.' or something like that.
And honestly, Stan in his space is the last thing he expects because they have an unspoken agreement. Stan roams above and Ford stays down here. And when they cross paths they both look the other way.
But stan is here and yes Ford is annoyed at first but this also means he doesn't have to go seek stan out.
"I told you to stay- wait actually this is perfect. We'll do it now," Ford fiddles with his device, turning it on and he really isn't thinking right anymore. He know the device works and that's all that matters.
"Do what now? Stanford, what is that," And Stan is kinda terrified because Ford looks... well he looks kinda like how he did decades ago when he had sent that postcard and Stan had come running because well, its Ford.
Ford looks insane, primal and unhinged, like he hasn't seen the light of day in weeks. And Dipper had told Stan, had been worried but Stan brushed it off because Ford locking himself in the lab and avoiding everybody, avoiding him wasn't a new development.
But now Stan’s worried because that wild-eyed look is directed at him again and the cowardly little animal in him is screaming at him to run.
It’s like Ford knows what he's thinking because before Stan has a chance to decide if he's going to shut down or entertain that scared little animal, Ford is grasping at him and pulling him deeper into the dingy little basement.
Stan trips and he fully expects his back to hit the floor but fords got and arm wrapped low on his back that keeps him from falling fully. And stan's hand is also tangled in fords sweater so even if Ford had let him fall, well they would have gone down together.
But then he catches sight of that thing again and it looks vaguely like a gun and why did he have to get saddled with the insane twin? He doesn't even have time to flinch because a bright light floods his vision and he blanks.
For a second, Stan's mind goes black and there's a strange humming in his ears. But then he hears a laugh he hasn't heard in forever. Soft and joyous and for a moment stan smiles. It's Ford's laugh.
Because he and Stan become one. And everything is warm and bright and as it should be. For a moment everything is right. It feels like coming home.
His-Their eyes open and Ford's confused? No, Stans confused.
"Sixer? Lee?" Their voice says, soft and bewildered. They look around, searching for each other. Stan? Ford? Where did they go? They look down and their vision swims. Four hands, five fingers? Six? It all blurs together.
Is this me, they think as one. Finally as one. Four hands run up the sides of their one body then stretch out for their wide eyes to view. Ford can feel his giddiness rising unbidden. And a whisper from Stan, rising to meet Ford. Uncertain but matching nonetheless.
Finally
Finally together... Finally fixed... Finally right.
They spin slowly, as if that will give them a better view of what they are now, and they catch their reflection in some dim glass. Ford wants to smile but their face drops, eyes horrified.
"What did you do," Stan says, voice a cutting accusation. Nausea erupts in their stomach. And that isn't right. Why isn't it right?
Something is wrong. Everything is so very wrong. Ford's head hurts. Or is it Stans. He doesn't know. They can't tell.
"I fixed it. I fixed us," Ford says and it isn't right either. Why is it still so wrong? Stan is angry. But why is he angry? Why aren't they happy? They're together. After all this time they're finally together again.
Ford can feel Stan pulling away. It's like their mind is splitting in two. Hot searing pain shoots through their head, four eyes closing when the world starts to spin.
Ford grasps ahold of stan and refuses to let go. He can't let Stan ruin this, ruin them. He will not let Stan destroy everything he's worked towards again. They've been apart for so long- too long but not anymore. Besides, this is for them. Stan will just have to understand. They are one now. Broken and wrong but one nonetheless.
"Let me go," They yell, tugging apart furiously. Their shape shifts and distorts but doesn't split. Ford won't let them. They snap back together painfully, stumbling on two bulky legs, one that branches into two feet. Wrong.
"No! This is what we wanted right," their voice bellows, loud and angry and wrong. So very wrong. "For us to be together. Always together."
They grip at their hair as if trying to pull themselves back apart. Stan.
"Not like this. I never asked for this." they shout back, voice sharp and hurt and why aren't they happy now. They should be happy. This is right. This is how they are meant to be.
Even as the anger and hurt courses through their entire being, Ford knows he wouldn't want to be any other way. Stan's angry and scared but at least they're one. They're shattered and hurting but even then some small part burns in them, it's a tiny little ember but it's both of them and it says yes.
Another set of hands reach for the ones in their hair, pulling them out and restraining them. Betrayal spikes, scorching and increasing rapidly even after years of dormancy. Ford.
"Stop being so ungrateful! You're always so-." angry tears spill from their eyes. Decades of hurt and anger and resentment spill forth to mix into a sense numbing cocktail but most of all they feel alone. So very alone. Them.
They grapple and struggle and Ford's device glints from the corner of their eyes. Ford can feel Stan's intent before their body even moves. Being one now, it's like their minds have melded which means Stan knows the device's purpose. And he intends to separate them.
"NO!" Ford bellows, voice priggish and angry, hurt tinting the singular word so strongly that their body stalls. Why would stan- Why doesn't he want them to be together?
"Grunkle Stan?" Their head whips to the left, eyes locking with a confused and tired Mabel’s. Their focus splits, body jerking in an awkward aborted movement as Stan tries to move forward and Ford holds him back.
“Pumpkin grab that- Mabel don't-” And why can they never agree on anything. When did everything go so wrong?
Flashes of being in this very lab, so long ago- but no, it was before that even.
Mabel stares at them, scared and confused and stan has never wanted her to look at him like that ever. But Ford doesn't register it because for a moment, one split second, Stan stops fighting him.
They don't hesitate to rush forward, very much intent on destroying their creation before it has a chance to be used against them. To hurt them.
Two small hands wrap around it before they can get ahold of it. Mabel clutches it to her chest, watching them with something too close to fear. They freeze in place, hands raising in surrender.
"Sweetie," Falls from their lips, pleading. For what though, they aren't quite sure. Because their mind, it should be one yet it isn't. It's at odds, fragmented by a fear and necessity that clash so strongly it could tear universes apart.
“Press the green- Don't you dare-” They speak at once, words and thoughts overlapping. Large hands cover their mouth, two others gripping uselessly at wrist that refuse to budge, because regardless of whatever insanity that has plagued Fords mind to make them act this way, Stan will not let their voice- their words even hint at a threat towards Mabel.
Mabel's head bobs, looking from them down to the thing in her hands, unsure of what to do. Stan nods, eyes pleading.
Ford lashes out, angry and hurt and thrashing like a wild dog. 'Stanley please no. Why don't you want us to be-' Stan is retreating, silent and distant. 'Lee. LEE!'
Everything goes dark.
Ford rises slowly, head spinning and ears ringing. He has the worst headache he has ever experienced. He stares at his hands, splayed on the floor. Two hands, six fingers. Wrong.
His head whips up and his gaze finds Stan's crumpled form across from him on the floor. Stan's glaring at him, thick angry tears spilling down red cheeks.
No. No!
His head turns slowly and his eyes fall on Mabel. Mabel who is standing with his prototype in shaky hands looking between a separated Ford and Stan. He... failed. And now they're...
Apart.
Broken.
Wrong.
#taking the stancest obsession and codependency to a whole new level#does this count as a fic?#i feel like this would be pre-weird#but place it whenever in your mind#i imagine post weird that ford would eventually convince stan to let him try again#stan is hesitant but then he remembers the brief second before things had gone wrong#where being them had felt so right#and he wants that again#so he says yes#stancest#stancest angst?#stancest fusion#might turn this into a proper fic someday... well see#kinda shitty but here me out#is this anything???#this was supposed to be a short humorous “ford wants to be one with his brother so bad that he invents fusions” post#and became so much more#this got so out of hand#im sorry?#TUMBLR HAS POSTED THIS 4? TIMES BEFORE IT WAS READY!!#literally just adding tags every time i edit and add to this and refusing to remove the old ones lol#IT GOT LONGER??????#“i can fix them” no i can make them worse
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i can finally go back into the tiger and bunny tag ヽ(*。>Д<)o゜
#one difference in this new season is that there was a lot more death like 100% more not just in like headshots#plot threads kinda went little tangled at the end there but overall not too bad#some character resolutions i wanted a bit more from but oh well#Lunatic they kinda wrote in a corner so understandable how they closed that one tho#lol first thing I said was nooo whos the director of justice noww#also the fact he was taking government calls in his little torture dungeon man cave#got barnaby crying multiple times NICE#i would have liked a bit more angst for moi#already thinking up some sillay stuff hehehe#tiger and bunny#tiger and bunny 2
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[CLONE HIGH: BURNT BEACH AU]
Burnt Beach is a JFKonfucius-centric Clone High AU fanfiction that takes place directly after the ending of S3. The story follows a burn-scarred and traumatized Confucius who unexplainably survived the tragedy. To be his main source of comfort and support is not the person he thought it would be... Some aspects of this fic, such as the chapter titles, are vaguely inspired by The First Glass Beach Album. More info in tags. Click below to start reading!
CLICK HERE
#clone high burnt beach au#clone high#clone high au#jfkonfucius#slow burn#angst#fluff#self-indulgent#script style#not very faithful to the unserious nature of source media#but i still try to make it consistent with the established story#internalized homophobia#will get kinda dark at times#teenage drama#if you want an update out faster attention is a great motivator so leave ur thoughts or something LOL#JFK is a major character here so suggestive jokes and language are inevitable but it never goes in depth cuz thats uncomfortable 4 me#bromance#portrayal of self-sabotaging symptoms of mental illness#fanart will make me extremely joyous and crazy
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..gone
#this was inspired by that one comic page where hob is mourning#and i thought what if hob just forgets how dream looked like.. ik thats kinda far fetched but i wanna think that#for.. angst reasons lol#and that forgetting thing is visible in the photographs he has#now that I think abt it the photos could be seen as a metaphor hmmm#i was actually crying the whole time drawing this lol#but i cant blame anyone but myself#dreamling#dream of the endless#hob gadling#the sandman#hob x dream#dream x hob#the sandman netflix#sandman dream#this took me almost 15 hours to complete#the longest ive ever spent on a drawing#i lowkey want this to do good :P#k bye
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I heard it was angst time. CW: MC Death. About the level of graphic (gore/violence) description that is in the source material imo. Be cautious and prioritize taking care of yourself if you are unsure, please. ♡
Mhin can’t find you.
When you don't appear at the scheduled time to discuss the headway you’ve each made individually regarding your mutual goal, they walk away from your agreed-upon rendezvous point with an annoyed huff.
When the next night passes and you still don’t show, they become even more incensed.
It’s not until they head to the Wet Wick and Leander asks them if they’ve seen you that they become concerned.
They look everywhere.
Leander places posters on the corner streets alongside his usual advertisements and soon your likeness is plastered across Lowtown. Large letters reading: “REWARD” peer down at Mhin reproachfully at every turn as they fruitlessly go about their own search when they can spare the time during their day to day fight for survival.
Something nags at the back of their mind.
Guilt, they think. Self-loathing. They should have tried to find you that night.
As the days turn into weeks, they give up on Leander’s methods and start asking their own questions.
They do it under the guise of collecting another bounty, but the genuine, thankful relief they get from Leander, the sorrowful look they receive from Kuras–they're know they're wearing a shallow facade at best.
It leaves a raw taste in their mouth to do so, but they even ask Vere, knowing the fleabag has keen senses which they do not.
Their stomach drops when Vere laughs. A harsh, cruel thing that has them brandishing their dagger, keen to gut him like a fish where he stands. He reads their rage easily, assuring them that he’s innocent, that he had nothing to do with your disappearance.
Which is what a Monster would say–but then–
Vere would be at his most honest while gloating, wouldn’t he? If the truth is a twist of the knife.
He tells them to check their own closet for skeletons. Tells them to check for Monsters underneath their own bed.
The adrenaline hits them immediately. They start to sweat and shake and feel nauseous. For their body, the realization is instantaneous. In their mind, it comes more slowly. Like walking through a dream.
They try to reach back in their memory. Try to tug at that nagging thing.
Unspool it until they can determine where the emptiness begins, ends, anything in between.
And then they find it. They don’t remember it, but they find it.
In one of their many hidden shelters. The one closest to your rendezvous point–a small lacuna in the side of a crumbling building, a nest built into the flesh.
Spooling trails of entrails and ruined bandages. Viscera and bones and gore. Scavengers have gotten to you and contaminated the scene but–
The wounds are unmistakable. Familiar to them, by now.
The soft parts of you that have been picked at and eaten.
The sinking feeling in their gut expands. This type of scene doesn’t make Mhin sick anymore but they wish it would. Wish they could retch and rid themself of this emptiness. Wish they could expel the vision of you–
The remains of you, laid out before them.
There’s something almost graceful about your corpse. As if you’ve been drawn out of a fairy tale, your gruesome demise told as a parable for children.
They try to remember transforming. Killing you.
Your last words, if you could make any around the blood gurgling from between your lips like a fountain.
Maybe in the future your fairy tale will have a moral to it. A reason. Your death will be more than senseless, another body added to the pile.
For now Mhin will have to live without that closure.
The grief drips off of them like blood off of black feathers. It can't permeate their defenses, advantages granted to them by an evolution that was not of their own volition. They can already feel their mind warping around their memories of you, dulling them lest they tear themself apart, fall down while climbing up the tower to meet you and dash themselves upon the rocks, sink into the water below and drown beneath the torrent. A younger version of them would chase after the memories, cling to the waning thought of you.
The person they are now lets it happen.
They turn their back, leaving the empty echos behind.
Bad Ending : "Reward"
#i was sick for most of October but I too was thinking about...#Bad End Bingo#aka scary times for my fav and most wonderful time of the year >:3#touchstarved game fanfic#I hope this is :)#touchstarved fanfic#ask to tag#cw: main character death#cw: described gore#it is not my intention to be in the tag too often but I realized that if I just RB with this the read more system for the CW wouldn't work#and I wanted to be safer than sorry#toxintouch writing#BANNERS ARE FOR ANYONE TO USE IF THEY LIKE i just kinda had them for other things IF YA KNOWWW MORE PPL WANNA SHARE THEIR ANGST (✿◕‿◕)#so uhhh my apologies for posting so much is what i'm saying lol#mhin touchstarved#touchstarved mhin
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(Mis)adventures of Law with the Strawhats [fanfiction snippet, part 3 - the final one!]
[Links to: Part 1 and Part 2]
"Alliance?" all of them ask at the same time.
"You will find out once someone actually lands on same field" Law cuts his answer short.
"What's with that half-assed effort? Admit it, you just didn't think it through yet!" Usopp accuses him, meanwhile Luffy's eyes get their spark back.
"That's the best idea ever, I can't wait to land on same field with Torao again!"
Yamato looks at the dessert in front of him, so far not even touched. Then he takes the small spoon and digs in a bit, brings it to his mouth and his eyes grow larger. "This is actually really good. So sweet!" then he looks around the table. Law turns his gaze away before their eyes can meet, but somehow Yamato still stops at him for a moment; he can tell.
"Does anyone want to try it too? I don't know why Sanji only gave it to me"
"That's because he thinks you're a lady" Usopp replies. "And no thanks, I'm good, I have lots of salty crackers now"
"I'm also good" Brook says, still sipping his tea. Is it still the very same one since they started playing, Law wonders.
"I want!" Luffy says, but Usopp stops him just in time. "Don't give it to him, he will gulp it all down in one bite. There, you have enough snacks on the table already"
"Yeah, but I would want to try that one too" Luffy says, eyeing the dessert, but seems he finally gives up and downs a full bowl of crackers instead.
"I would want to, but I think Sanji will kill me, or even cook me, if I even try to come near it" Chopper says, because he got interested since the moment Yamato declared it was something sweet.
"He won't know" Yamato assures him and gives Chopper a spoon with quite a big bite of cake on it. He smiles when Chopper quickly catches it with his mouth and a moment later some tears spill from his eyes. "So nice~!"
And finally Yamato's eyes turn to Law. "I'm good" he finally voices out, avoiding to look at the dessert or Yamato.
"Hm" Yamato muses, but seems to leave it be.
"So, how do we play it now?" Usopp asks, because they have been playing for a bit already, but Brook literally just finished the game. "Should we make Brook start over from the beginning?"
"That's cheating, he won already" Law comments.
"Right" Usopp frowns.
"Can I play two turns instead of him?" Luffy grins, but everyone quickly cuts him off with a loud "NO".
"It's kinda not nice to play without him" Yamato says, the dessert forgotten and left unfinished for now.
"Let's just start over, I wanna win!" Luffy decides and stretches his hands to gather all the pawns.
"Then I'm out" Law retorts back and Luffy's hands freeze. He quickly retreats them back.
"Torao" he says, turning to him, his brows furrowed. "Are you in a bad mood? Why do you not want to play with me anymore?"
Law looks deliberately away. Why does Luffy have to constantly act this way? With every day he reminds him more of his little sister. Why did Law had to buy this game in the first place, now he wishes he never did.
"I had to play with you like dozens of times last night, how much more do I have to play till you're actually satisfied?" He finally blurts out. Even this line sounds like something from the past in his ears.
"Every day?" Luffy attempts and Law smashes his hand on the table in reply, startling everyone.
"You can play with other people now" he snaps.
"But I want to play with you too!" Luffy cries out and reaches towards Law's hand that's still splayed on the table. The touch is brief and barely there, but takes Law by surprise and Luffy can feel him freezing up. "Sorry" he mumbles as he retreats his hand immediately, but it's too late and Law is already on his way to the door, trembling slightly. Usopp whispers "Great, now you made him angry", but Law can still hear it.
Usopp peeks at Luffy's face and he just knows he has to do something, anything to stop this. "Let's calm down, it's just a game, Luffy will soon get bored with it anyway" but it has no effect and Usopp nearly gives up at this point.
"Wait, please!" Chopper suddenly shouts. "I had a lot of fun playing together, especially when you allowed me to roll the die for you! I… I never played any board game before! So thank you! And I'm sorry if I did something bad, I'm a dummy after all, so it's probably not fun to play with me…"
That, curiously enough, made Law stop in his step.
"I also never played before. My crew did, mostly card games, but since I don't have eyes, I couldn't join them"
"Wait, you must have had eyes when you were alive" Usopp points out, despite just a second ago feeling kinda sorry for the skeleton man.
"Oh, right. Then maybe it was one of the illusions I experienced when I spent years surrounded with their dead bodies, stranded in the Florian Triangle" he muses, and like an afterthought adds "YOHOHOHOHO".
It doesn't help at all to solve the tension, Law notes in his head despite himself. He didn't sign up to hear all those tearful stories and he for sure isn't gonna share his own one.
Yamato makes a worried expression, but then nods to himself and his eyes become clear like a cloudless sky. "This is actually also my first time playing any board game. Or any game at all, really. Since I was locked alone for almost all of my life and no one was even allowed near me"
Usopp stays quiet for a bit, his brows furrowed and he stares at the table. When he finally speaks up his voice is much quieter than the others. "I lied, I actually also never played any board games before… other kids kinda avoided me in my village. I did have dices though!" he doesn't add that he actually just picked them up from the ground after other kids most likely lost it.
"I kept them, because I thought it was a mysterious object lost by the nomadic tribe of Spotted People. Everyone knows about Spotted People, they're the ones responsible for drawings dots on everything, like skirts. They draw dots on everything that belongs to them, so if you see any dotted objects you know it means one of Spotted People was passing by. Those squares looked kinda important, so I kept the dices for them just in case The Spotted Tribe would cross this path again, searching for it."
"That's so nice of you!" Chopper says, wiping a tear with his hoof. No one comments that the Spotted Tribe doesn't exist in reality, so neither does Law.
Luffy looks at his crewmates expressionlessly, and Usopp has to actually nudge him and whisper to share his story as well. Luffy just keeps staring, but when Usopp points towards quiet Law still standing near the door, he seems to connect the dots.
"Torao!" he calls after him, his voice slightly cracking. "It's okay if you don't want to play with them. Let's play later on, just the two of us instead!"
"OI!" Usopp smacks him on the head. "What's wrong with you?! You were supposed to share your sad story about never playing games with anyone before! And what about us and our feelings?!"
"Why are you hitting me?!" Luffy replies, a bit sulky because he doesn't get it. And Law thinks that of course he doesn't. After all Luffy told him all about it already yesterday night. How he never saw a board game before, but he once played some jumping game one of his brothers drew on the sand.
"We saw some kids playing it before, but we didn't know the rules. Sabo taught us how to play, but Ace said later that those weren't the correct rules, Sabo probably thought them up, because he said earlier he also never played before. I didn't care, it was fun to do something together like that"
Luffy couldn't fall asleep and was kinda moody as the result, so Law, not really knowing what to do, simply proposed to play, because that's the only thing that came to his mind. And then he somehow told him this was the first game his parents gave to Law and his little sister. After Luffy wondered outloud how it's like to actually have parents around, Law somehow ended up playing with him till the earliest hours of the morning.
Usopp just shakes his head, and calls to Law, bringing him back to reality. "Just ignore him, he was always slightly off in the head, there's no way to fix him"
"Hey, that's not a nice thing to say!" Luffy complains.
"What you said earlier also wasn't nice!" Usopp retorted and he smacks him again. Luffy doesn't stay indebted for long and returns the favour, which makes Usopp do it again as well, and they probably would keep on doing it for longer, but Law finally turns around, sighs and just goes back to his seat.
"Do you all have to be always so dramatic about everything you do" he grits through his teeth, crossing his arms and looking at no one in particular.
"Says the most dramatic one around…" slips from Usopp's lips despite his better judgment, and he is immediately greeted with a glare promising many death threats, but their staring contest gets interrupted before Usopp can duck under the table in fear.
"Here you go!" Yamato smiles as he places a plate in front of Law. There's a half of the chocolate dessert resting on it, together with a clean spoon. Law looks at him and raises his eyebrows. "I heard there's nothing better than a make up snack after a fight!" he cheers and goes back to his own half of the dessert, finishing it up with a wide smile.
Law just looks at the plate wordlessly. He admits he feels kinda stupid over all that now, but he would rather bite off his tongue than admit it outloud.
"So, what are we doing about Brook?" Usopp returns with the annoying question. Law closes his eyes and snaps his fingers.
"He will play, as an assassin. He will go backwards, retreating his steps all the way back to the beginning" he says, not even bothering to acknowledge the puzzled looks directed at him. "And every time he will pass by another player, they get eliminated"
"Wait wait wait, that sounds scary!", "It actually sounds fun! Can we fight him off somehow??", "Yohohoho!" are comments that are soon following.
"Hold on, but then no one can reach the end goal!" Usopp points out and is greeted with a very sinister smile in reply.
"Good job for catching on that"
Luffy at least doesn't seem to mind, Chopper is still panicking, Brook doesn't stop laughing, and Yamato's mouth is just comically gaping open. Usopp for once is not giving up though.
"Or maybe" Usopp starts, pondering. "The assassin is instead a ghost. Every time he passes by someone, he starts to follow them around, like a curse! And if that person doesn't do something in particular, they have to return to the start… or they get eliminated!"
"If they don't throw two sixes in four rounds, the haunted person will have to move backwards from now on as well" Law adds. "All the way till they reach the starting point"
"Or if they roll two fours. Because four means death and eight is double death so it breaks the curse!" Usopp nods. "Wait, do we even have another dice?"
"Now we do" Law says, flicks his fingers and another die lands on the table. "You can also escape the assassin following you if you slide down a snake or go up the ladder. We can consider it a special rule that applies only when you're followed by the assassin."
"Then the ghost has to give it up and find someone else to follow around!" Usopp finishes, pointing at Brook. "But if the person who is followed rolls two twos, they become a ghost as well till they get another pair of fours!"
"Good idea" Law comments and Usopp flashes him a smile. And then extends his opened palm towards him, pausing and waiting for something. Law looks at him. "Come on, that was brilliant, high five is in order!"
Law looks at the offered palm and at his own hand. Should he…? And then slowly raises it up and leaves it hanging there in midair, not moving it any further. Usopp smacks his own hand with his, smiling from ear to ear and wiping his nose with his finger. "We make a good team!" he declares.
Before Law can take his hand away, Chopper and Luffy also join in for the high five-ing, earning themselves a groan. Law quickly takes his hand back and hides it under the table, as far as he possibly can.
"Sorry, Torao!" Luffy says and no one gets it, but Law doesn't really comment on it either. Usopp just shrugs, probably thinking it's just another of Luffy's weird things he does. Law starts to realize that's the usual consensus around the Sunny.
"So, whose turn was it?"
"God Usopp's" Law answers, which makes Usopp both flush and giggle at the same time.
"You can be God Torao as well, if you want. You earned it!" he says mercifully.
"No, I'm good" Law replies immediately.
"Suit yourself, I won't offer it to you again!" he warns, waggling his finger at him.
They roll the die, Brook finds his first victim, yohohoho-ing all the time when stalking Usopp's pawn (which was the closest to the goal) while the latter already regrets all his life choices up until this second. Taking advantage of the commotion Law places a plate in front of Luffy. It contains half of the half of the dessert.
"For me?? Really?!" Luffy can't believe his eyes and dumps everything that's on it in his mouth, which is why he has to retrieve the spoon a moment later from his rubbery maw. "Wow, it's indeed very sweet"
Yamato sends Law a smile, but it gets blatantly ignored.
"Ooff, I'm alive" Usopp wipes sweat from his forehead, he slid down a snake to escape Brook's clutches. "The ghost couldn't take me, haha" he laughs weakly. "Why did I even agree to this rule?!"
"Assassin, not a ghost" Law comments.
"It's a ghost! The Bone Snatcher! Because he will steal your bones once he puts the curse on you" Usopp insists.
"I prefer just Brook" says Brook. "Yohohoho"
"No, it's actually a villain! A marine! An admiral!" Luffy butts-in.
"A Germa" Law corrects him.
"A Germa!!" Luffy agrees, throwing his fist in the air.
"I dunno why you're talking about those bastards, but I agree about every bad word you said about them" says Sanji, as he returns to the kitchen. "Or actually, no, just don't talk about them in my presence if you want to get any dinner today" he reconsiders, after he gets back to his counter.
He then notices almost immediately an extra plate in the sink that Law shambled away. "Confess, who snatched something from the kitchen when I was away? Was it you, Law?!" he looks accussingly, knowing fully well what Law's powers could do. Law doesn't exactly agree or disagree, because he might have indeed made Sanji's life a bit harder when he sometimes snatched some snacks for Luffy between meals, just so Luffy would give him some peace. But when Sanji just gives him a stare full of daggers and past resentments, Law remains completely unremorseful.
"You need more than an extra plate as a proof" Law defies him, but before the conflict can escalate any further, Yamato raises his hand, trying to attract Sanji's attention instead.
"Sorry, it was me. I'm a big boy, so just one plate wasn't enough!"
"Oh, if it was Yamato-chan, it's alright" Sanji swoons. "I'm not apologizing to you though, even if you hate on Germa. I have no guarantee you didn't force Yamato-chan's pure heart to help you get extra food" he huffs in Law's direction. Curiously enough, just a moment later he swears when he turns on the water in the sink and it splashes all over him.
"Bone Snatcher!" Usopp still insists on his idea.
"How about Oden?" Yamato asks cheerfully like people aren't fighting and about to punch each other to push their ideas, and suddenly everyone turns to look at him.
"Oden, how nice" Chopper comments. Almost everyone else nods as well. "Oden it is!"
"Since when was Oden a vengeful ghost?" Usopp frowns, but Law just shrugs. "Oh, come on, you can't agree to this as well!"
"It's Oden" Law replies, smirking again when Usopp groans.
"I regret sharing my God title with you, I take it back!"
"I didn't accept it anyway"
At that moment Usopp notices that Law is munching another cookie and narrows his eyes.
"Liking sweets doesn't really suit you" he says, trying to get back on him, judging him with his narrowed eyes.
Law furrows his brows. "I use my brain, brain needs sugar"
"I can confirm that it's a scientific fact!" Chopper butts in, nodding his head vigorously.
Usopp is still looking sceptically at him, when Luffy suddenly shouts. "Finally! I made it on the same field as Torao again!"
They all look down on the board.
"So, what now??" Luffy looks expectantly at Law. They all do. He blinks once. Oh, right. Alliance.
"Now…" he starts and taps his finger on the board. "…we play as one team. We roll two dice, you one and me another, and we add up the number and move our pawns the same amount of fields. The alliance lasts till we roll two ones, which means we can go seperate ways from that moment again"
"What if I don't want to finish the alliance?" Luffy asks immediately.
"Then, I guess, it continues" Law answers reluctantly.
"TWO DICES?!" Usopp screams. "That's an unfair advantage, it's like rolling dice twice every round!"
"Also, anytime we step on a ladder or a snake, only one person can go up or down. That's also a way to seperate an alliance" Law adds, because he knows he needs to balance this rule out a bit.
"Eh, I don't like that" Luffy complains.
"But if we're haunted by Oden and lose to the curse, we both have to retreat our steps all the way back to the beginning, unless we manage to lift it"
"That sounds fun" Luffy cheers again.
"What about the end goal?" asks Usopp, who is now munching on a cookie which he wouldn't touch before, suddenly crackers long forgotten for some mysterious reason.
"Only one person from the alliance can win" Law clarifies.
"How will that be decided?" Yamato asks.
"I will tell you once we get to that situation"
Everyone but Luffy protests.
"That sounds like an adventure!" he snickers.
"What's with that shtick of yours and witholding the rules! I protest! Come on guys, join me in my rebellion!" Usopp tries to rile up the crowd, but they all decide it's not worth it, because who cares, it's still fun. Law sneaks him a small V sign in his direction, which is Usopp's last straw.
"Fine, you want to play this way, then we will add some mines to the board!" he says, maniacally munching on the cookies, sugar rush probably getting to his head as he leans forward, fishing out a pen out of nowhere and coloring one, two, three, four fields completely black before Law reacts, at first trying to catch his hand to stop him, but in the end he just snatches his pen away, using shambles. "Hey, I wasn't done yet!" Usopp complains.
"That's enough already" Law huffs. "Returning people to the beginning all the time is poor balance, it will just make everyone frustrated all the time"
"So what? My luck is flawless and I will laugh at them all the time!"
"What a petty reason"
"It's done already, so deal with it!"
"Think of something else for the mines"
"Guys" Luffy interrupts them. "How about whoever steps on that black field jumps in the air?" he proposes.
They both look quizzically at him.
Luffy simply puts a pawn on that field and flips the board up so the pawn flies in the air (together with all the rest of them) and then lands back on board in a completely different spot. "An earthquake, shishishi!"
"Now you made a mess" Law comments, looking at the board, no surprise in his voice.
"I don't remember where was my pawn located before… How could you Luffy??" Chopper laments, but Luffy only laughs more.
"You basically destroyed the game, you know" Usopp criticizes, but Yamato and Brook look at each other and only laugh. "We can't play like this"
That caused a brief silence. Luffy is scratching his head, about to open his mouth and say something, but Law stops him.
"This doesn't destroy anything" he bluffs. "You just have to start over from the spot where your pawn landed on. And if it landed in the middle of a ladder or a snake, you put them up or down accordingly."
They all look at him like he just saved a world on his way back home from a grocery trip while not forgetting to buy the milk in the process. He has a hard time trying not to cringe.
"What about the pawn that fell off the board or beyond the borders?"
"Just put them on closest fields" he said, taking one of the pawns that completely fell off to the table, pondering. Putting it back on the start seems a bit cruel, but he guesses it can't be avoided…
"Just toss it in the air again, wherever it lands will be it's new field!" Luffy says, snatches it from Law's hand and demonstrates. The pawn fell slightly to the left from the middle of the board. "See, it works out!"
Everyone leans forward to find their new respective spots for their pawns, besides Law who catches Sanji frowning as he steals a peek from his counter. He also didn't miss the way Sanji stared at the board earlier on and Law looks towards the door, lost in his inner world again. He thinks back to their lunch, when everyone was here as well.
"Eh, but what about our alliance?" Luffy suddenly remembers and looks expectantly at Law who returns his attention back on him.
"We still roll both dice and move the same amount of fields"
"Oh, so it's not affected, good" Luffy practically beams, like suddenly something heavy was lifted from his chest. "So we just have to meet up again, shishishi"
"You know it will be harder now that you will move exactly the same amount of fields each round, right?" Usopp asks, taken aback by Luffy's carefree attitude.
"It will be just more challenging, is all! That's nothing for a future king of the pirates!" he cries out. "Also, it can't be helped"
"Indeed" Law says, looking at him. "It was an earthquake, after all"
Luffy chuckles. "Exactly!"
They keep on playing for whole afternoon, Yamato becomes Oden twice and seems to enjoy it more than the regular gameplay, chasing after Chopper who escapes all the way back to the beginning from him before he realizes he's safe already, Brook gets released from his Oden curse by two twos and is close to the goal again. Red and blue pawns mysteriously meet again by a chain of random circumenstances of Law escaping from the Oden curse up the ladder and Luffy sliding down a snake. They're seperated exactly by five fields now.
One die, the one that Law threw, shows a two. Luffy's die swirls a lot and seems to have stopped on five, yet it somehow flipped to show a three instead.
"I saw it!" Usopp shouts, pointing an accussatory finger in Law's direction. "You manipulated Luffy's dice so it lands in the way you want it to!"
"You saw nothing" Law comments back. "And you have no evidence that I ever cheated"
"Wait, why does it suddenly sound like you were cheating all this time??"
"Guys, Brook won again" Chopper complains worriedly. "Does it mean the game is over again?"
"No, we're playing to see who's last now" Law reminds him, ignoring Usopp's question and avoiding his long nose proding towards him.
When Luffy and Law, still somehow in an alliance, reach the goal together, they all finally learn how it will get decided who will be the first and who the second.
"We take the dice, throw it the hardest we can, and whichever one lands closest to the board wins" Law's lips curl up, smile sharp like razor blades, and everyone feels the chill run down their spine at the sight. Luffy laughs and everyone take it as a sign that now is the time to duck under the table, the fastest they can.
Law wasn't kidding when he said "the hardest they can", both of their dice bumped all over the place and hit the ceilling, till finally Luffy's one lands in the pot on the stove, while Law's one bounces off of Luffy's head and rolls away to some corner of the room.
As the result Sanji throws them all out of the kitchen angirly and threatens they won't get any dinner today.
"We need to play like this every evening! After Sanji is no longer in the kitchen" Luffy declares as soon as they're on the deck.
"Without me" Law deadpans, because how dare he decide that on his own again.
"Why?? Usopp, do something, make him agree!!"
"No way, convince him yourself, if I do anything he's gonna murder me in my sleep tonight"
"You bet I will"
"Scary!!" says Usopp as he hides behind Luffy who just laughs like it's all a funny joke, because Torao is always so funny.
----------------------------------
Later that evening, Sanji is still preparing some snack for Franky who finally managed to sit down after a whole day of making some inventions and repairs. Nami and Robin are chatting at the kitchen table, and Zoro is lying down on the sofa under the window.
"What's that?" Franky asks, noticing a cardboard box sitting on the table. "Isn't it that snakes and ladders game they played before?"
"What?" Sanji sounds alarmed as he peeks over from the counter. "I was sure I threw it out together with all those rascals"
"Oh, so that's the game they were playing" Robin looks curiously when Franky opens the cover. "It looks rather simple"
"It might look this way, but they invented shit tons of new rules" Sanji grumbles, unquestionably thinking back to all the chaos they created in his precious kitchen.
"They did? What kind of?" Franky inquires, taking out some pawns and two dice.
"Whoever finished first was an assassin chasing other pawns down on their path, I think" Sanji says, waving his hand dismissively.
"Oh, how interesting" Robin smiles.
"What are those black fields?" Nami asks.
"Now that you mention it, I have never seen those before in that board game" Franky shrugs.
"They shook the board, scattering all the pieces randomly around whenever someone stepped on one of those" Sanji explains.
"That's surprisingly inventive. Was it Usopp's idea?"
"I think it was actually Luffy's"
"Huh"
"Okay, you're the orange one" Franky hands Nami the pawn. "And you're gonna be green" he turns his head towards Zoro, placing his pawn at the start.
"What? I'm not playing any games" Zoro protests.
"Neither am I" Sanji warns Franky before he can move on to give him a pawn as well. "I only told you about those rules because my beloved Nami-swan asked me"
Zoro looks at him. "Ah, you're just afraid to lose to me"
"WHAT"
"Come on, guys, let's play. It feels so nostalgic, I didn't play this game in forever. They left it here, we can as well play as we wait for our snacks. Sit down here, Zoro"
"Only if you make the stupid cook play"
"I'm not playing!" Sanji shouts. "Why are you here anyway? Aren't you on the watch tonight?"
"Torao took over for me today, actually, so I'm bored"
"Great, then go to bed early like a manchild you are!"
"Sure, if you declare my victory by default" Zoro snickers, moving on from the sofa to the table, and patting the chair next to him. "Come on, don't be a coward"
"The hell will freeze over faster than you will see me playing a stupid board game with you!"
Nami sighs. "Come on Sanji, Franky says it's more fun with more people"
Sanji looks at Nami, his swirly eyebrow flying all the way up on his forehead. "Fine, roll for me until I'm done here" he sighs. "Just so you know, I'm doing it only because Nami-swan asked me to" he clarifies, making a face at Zoro.
"Keep telling yourself that" Zoro smirks.
Soon, they're all sitting down at the table, few of them laughing and others sighing when Zoro somehow manages to turn himself around a few times, earning multiple scoldings from Sanji in the process.
"This is actually first time I'm playing any board game" Robin shares after a while.
"Me too actually. We didn't have any money so we couldn't really play any games" Nami muses. "This is surprisingly rather fun. I was gonna just join you all so Franky doesn't feel lonely"
"Oi thanks, I super appreciate that!" Franky shows her thumbs up. "Did you two ever play before?"
"Nah" Zoro answers.
"You probably only trained yourself stupid even as a child" Sanji comments.
"You bet"
"And you, Sanji?"
"I…" he says, taking a longer exhale of his cigarette. "I only watched my brothers play it before. They played it so often that I memorized the rules just by looking at them. That was before father found out and threw the game away"
Nami shared some condolences with him. He just waved them off, because he was too distracted by stupid marimo attempting to climb the snake from it's tail.
Meanwhile, just outside the kitchen, Law leans on the wall, standing there quietly. After some time, he shambles himself away to the crow's nest, where no one could see him smiling ever so slightly to himself.
#one piece#trafalgar law#luffy#one piece fanfiction#lawlu#but you have to connect the dots yourself to get your lawlu hehe#usopp#tony tony chopper#yamato#brook#zoro#sanji#zosan#nami#robin#franky#fluff with a tiny bit of angst#snakes and ladders mixed with some hyena twist :D#I would play that myself#now I kinda want to play a board game as well#that was fun to write but I'm so rusty at writing fics geez#Usopp keeps messing up die with dice and Law decided he doesn't care enough anymore to correct him lol#but you can pin it on me if you find that unfunny... that's fine as well
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Here's a fun fact: druids have a level 3 spell called Revivify which can basically revive a creature that recently died (which yes, does include the players). Since Falmouth is level 5, he can technically use this spell. Now, his character sheet doesn't list this spell, probably because it's relatively new, but there's a non-zero chance that Tom will add this spell to his spell list.
So yeah, be prepared for one of the bitter sweethearts to temporarily die, I guess?
#shoot from the hip#sfth dnd#is it cruel that I kinda want ellory to die just so this scenario to happen?#I can practically taste the angst possibilities#anyways yeah#don't panic if a character dies in the 2025 bitter sweethearts campaign lol
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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marauders v.s. slytherin skittles (ft. the valkyries + snape)
With the rise of the 'slytherin skittles' in the fandom (even tho half of them are in ravenclaw but whatevs) -- I've been trying to figure out why I don't like it, despite enjoying the dynamics presented. And I think I've finally figured out why.
It all goes back to the Sirius / Regulus dynamic. I feel like their relationship is depicted as angsty and such but I love it when they are estranged. Yes, they're brothers and they go to the same school, but they are worlds apart. And i like when their friend groups and dynamics reflect that. Regulus, who's stayed with his family and supports their causes (yes I know he gets redeemed eventually but boy used to worship voldy) -- has access to the high pure-blood society and its perks. But one thing he does not have, is the friendship his brother shares with his mates. Reg tells himself that he doesn't care, that he doesn't envy his brother and his friends, but it is one of the things being in this pureblood fascism cult can't offer -- true friendship. That's why, despite my issues with 'choices' by messermoon, I really like how they depicted the dynamic between Regulus and his friends -- like yes Reg had friends but not in the same way Sirius had. And it adds a layer to the loneliness Reg feels, which i feel is a core part of his character. He's surrounded by people that on the outside my appear as friends, but really he's just very lonely.
On another note, i hc both brothers as gay, and love the differences in how they would be presented. Sirius, after finally getting over his internalised homophobia, is free to love and make out with whomever he wants. While Reg, aware of this part of himself hates it, and denies himself this luxury, only getting off (with barty, mayhaps, who is in a similar position) every now and then. Maybe he also has a burning desire for James (if ur into jegulus) but he doesn't ever do anything abt it, coz he feels like he can't.
As for Dorcas Meadows, I picture her in the year above the marauders (so two years above Reg) and not really having any friends at all. Not because she can't make any, but because she simply doesn't want to (my characterisation of her is heavily inspired by rollercoasterwords' version of her in 'the hand that feeds'. She ofc grows close to marlene when they start dating but never really gets close to marlene's other friends. She may or may not have a begrudging relationship with Pandora tho (but only because she provides her weed ofc!!) .
In a way, I kind of like when the houses represent certain themes, like gryffindor v.s. slytherin, freedom v.s tradition, friends v.s. 'co-workers'. Yes i know the fandom likes to depict the houses as more of a personality based system -- which i'm sure that's why jkr intended -- but really i think the houses represent more of values and beliefs. (Which is also why i think the houses should have been destroyed, united or changed at the end of HP DH coz the status quo as it is, is not healthy, but i digress).
Oh and as for the valkyries -- have nothing against their friendship. Lily deserves to have her own set of friends besides James and snape. just think they wouldn't give themselves a name like the marauders did coz they think its cringe, but I can see it coming up and them immediately shutting it down out of embarrassment.
i think this an analysis of snape and his relationship with lily compared to the other slytherins would be interesting as well, and how the interactions and dynamics differ. And canonically, snape and regulus would make more sense than reg and dorcas so if anything snape should be a part of these 'slytherin skittles' lmaoo.
#marauders#marauders era#marauders hcs#sirius black#regulus black#sirius and regulus#regulus angst#slytherin skittles#anti slytherin skittles#kinda...?#i don't hate it i just think they're basically like a marauders 2.0#and that's something that's not interesting to me#dorcas meadowes#pandora lovegood#severus snape#i want regulus and sirius to have had very similar lives as children#but due to the choices they make suddenly their worlds are very different#and that is shown through even the smallest dynamics#such as friendship circles#lol#also why have so many of sirius' traits been given to barty 0-0#canon regulus black
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So I kinda got back into Beastars after rewatching season 1 while working on stuff, will soon start season 2 (and prolly try to finish getting all the volumes even tho am missing 16 volumes).
Of course I fell back into loving LouGoshi and now I kinda want to read some fanfic.
Does anyone have good LouGoshi rec? Preferably stories that are completed. Am not really picky either, as long as it's not heavy whump and/or bad ending imma prolly be into it. Maybe not 100k and kire words either i suppose, seeing how my brain struggles to focuse at times.
#morgan posts#morgan rambles#fanfiction recommendation#lougosi#lougoshi#legoshi x louis#beastars#i just want something to try and read with these too#i dont mind angst#but lately i havent been in the mood for something that has it too heavily#but anything goes lol#am not familiar with what AU are popular in this fandom too#(kinda makes me wonder if a/b/o is a thing too actually)
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pondering about mc12 and doc specifically....
#writing in this tags just bc lol#im surprised no ones taken the very real angst possibilities with the development of hank being missing#i keep thinking about it and i wonder like#would doc take it personally and be worried that the reason why hank isnt coming back is because of him??#or just kinda freaking out in general? i keep wanting to draw art about it#but i worry it comes across as ooc lol#text.fla
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Day 6: Public/Private
My Perception Of You (10.3k words)
On the end of their third year in Yoba Academy, Esora starts to distance herself. Her free time is more spent on dates with heirs rather than her friends. Kyoko, Shinobu and Yuka understood her reasoning, however. It hurts Yuka, but she has to endure. If all goes well, she can finally confess. Until a magazine is released to the public.
#crow's scribbles#crow's writing#yukaeso#yukaeso week 2024#yuka jennifer sasago#esora shimizu#d4dj#d4dj groovy mix#HERE IT IS. MY PRIDE AND JOY!!!!!#also the reason im posting this kinda late is bc of me talking w my parents... idk how to explain it. lol.#i managed to tell some of my worries. which is good. (not everything lmaooo)#anyway enough abt my life. this is filled w a lot of the pent up angst i was saving throughout the whole week and threw it all here.#it was really ambitious to the point this 10.3k worded fic is just a really cut down version of what i wanted it to be lol#will note: please listen to ni yao de ai (piano version) when you reach yuka running out a building scene :3c#if you know what i based the concept of this drawing i will honestly be really happy. heehe#anyway i'll stop talking now bye bye!!
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