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As promised, here's that fusion post for the three people that asked for it (drops it and runs).
Ford thinks of himself and Stan as one, an extension of each other, and lowkey hates that its not true nor possible.
And Mabel really shouldn't have shown him Steven Universe because now he's obsessing over the concept of fusions and his desire to be one with stan.
Now lets say this is Pre-Weird and everything is still tense between them and they aren't exactly talking but despite that ford still wants to be close and he knows stan does too.
He can see it in the broken resigned looks Stan keeps throwing his way. And listen, Ford isn't the best at communication but he can fix this. He may still be angry and self righteous and an asshole but he can fix them.
So now he spends an even more absurd amount of time in the lab trying to making it his reality and entirely disregards his base needs to the point even dipper is concerned.
He has a journal dedicated to this idea where he keeps all his notes and theories on how to make it possible. Would he have to alter their DNA for it to work or could it be possible for them as they are?
While doing the tests and research for his fixation he remembers a dimension he briefly travelled to back when he was younger and fresh through the portal. One where this concept, his desire, his fantasy, his wish was real. A dimension where it was was their culture, their way of life. And while he did think it was interesting then, he was young and angry and raw with unrestrained hurt. Too emotional to stop and study the practice the way he should have.
He beats himself up over it now. If only he had been thinking more logically him and stan could be one already. They wouldn't have to be so... apart.
He doesn't have time to dwell on his shortcomings though. He has to figure this out. He doesn't know exactly why but he feels like he's running out of time. Like he has to do this now or he'll never have the chance again.
Eventually he has his prototype and it functions well... enough. He just has one more trial to run. Except Stan comes down to check on him. 'Worried ford isn't taking care of himself properly.' or something like that.
And honestly, Stan in his space is the last thing he expects because they have an unspoken agreement. Stan roams above and Ford stays down here. And when they cross paths they both look the other way.
But stan is here and yes Ford is annoyed at first but this also means he doesn't have to go seek stan out.
"I told you to stay- wait actually this is perfect. We'll do it now," Ford fiddles with his device, turning it on and he really isn't thinking right anymore. He know the device works and that's all that matters.
"Do what now? Stanford, what is that," And Stan is kinda terrified because Ford looks... well he looks kinda like how he did decades ago when he had sent that postcard and Stan had come running because well, its Ford.
Ford looks insane, primal and unhinged, like he hasn't seen the light of day in weeks. And Dipper had told Stan, had been worried but Stan brushed it off because Ford locking himself in the lab and avoiding everybody, avoiding him wasn't a new development.
But now Stanās worried because that wild-eyed look is directed at him again and the cowardly little animal in him is screaming at him to run.
Itās like Ford knows what he's thinking because before Stan has a chance to decide if he's going to shut down or entertain that scared little animal, Ford is grasping at him and pulling him deeper into the dingy little basement.
Stan trips and he fully expects his back to hit the floor but fords got and arm wrapped low on his back that keeps him from falling fully. And stan's hand is also tangled in fords sweater so even if Ford had let him fall, well they would have gone down together.
But then he catches sight of that thing again and it looks vaguely like a gun and why did he have to get saddled with the insane twin? He doesn't even have time to flinch because a bright light floods his vision and he blanks.
For a second, Stan's mind goes black and there's a strange humming in his ears. But then he hears a laugh he hasn't heard in forever. Soft and joyous and for a moment stan smiles. It's Ford's laugh.
Because he and Stan become one. And everything is warm and bright and as it should be. For a moment everything is right. It feels like coming home.
His-Their eyes open and Ford's confused? No, Stans confused.
"Sixer? Lee?" Their voice says, soft and bewildered. They look around, searching for each other. Stan? Ford? Where did they go? They look down and their vision swims. Four hands, five fingers? Six? It all blurs together.
Is this me, they think as one. Finally as one. Four hands run up the sides of their one body then stretch out for their wide eyes to view. Ford can feel his giddiness rising unbidden. And a whisper from Stan, rising to meet Ford. Uncertain but matching nonetheless.
Finally
Finally together... Finally fixed... Finally right.
They spin slowly, as if that will give them a better view of what they are now, and they catch their reflection in some dim glass. Ford wants to smile but their face drops, eyes horrified.
"What did you do," Stan says, voice a cutting accusation. Nausea erupts in their stomach. And that isn't right. Why isn't it right?
Something is wrong. Everything is so very wrong. Ford's head hurts. Or is it Stans. He doesn't know. They can't tell.
"I fixed it. I fixed us," Ford says and it isn't right either. Why is it still so wrong? Stan is angry. But why is he angry? Why aren't they happy? They're together. After all this time they're finally together again.
Ford can feel Stan pulling away. It's like their mind is splitting in two. Hot searing pain shoots through their head, four eyes closing when the world starts to spin.
Ford grasps ahold of stan and refuses to let go. He can't let Stan ruin this, ruin them. He will not let Stan destroy everything he's worked towards again. They've been apart for so long- too long but not anymore. Besides, this is for them. Stan will just have to understand. They are one now. Broken and wrong but one nonetheless.
"Let me go," They yell, tugging apart furiously. Their shape shifts and distorts but doesn't split. Ford won't let them. They snap back together painfully, stumbling on two bulky legs, one that branches into two feet. Wrong.
"No! This is what we wanted right," their voice bellows, loud and angry and wrong. So very wrong. "For us to be together. Always together."
They grip at their hair as if trying to pull themselves back apart. Stan.
"Not like this. I never asked for this." they shout back, voice sharp and hurt and why aren't they happy now. They should be happy. This is right. This is how they are meant to be.
Even as the anger and hurt courses through their entire being, Ford knows he wouldn't want to be any other way. Stan's angry and scared but at least they're one. They're shattered and hurting but even then some small part burns in them, it's a tiny little ember but it's both of them and it says yes.
Another set of hands reach for the ones in their hair, pulling them out and restraining them. Betrayal spikes, scorching and increasing rapidly even after years of dormancy. Ford.
"Stop being so ungrateful! You're always so-." angry tears spill from their eyes. Decades of hurt and anger and resentment spill forth to mix into a sense numbing cocktail but most of all they feel alone. So very alone. Them.
They grapple and struggle and Ford's device glints from the corner of their eyes. Ford can feel Stan's intent before their body even moves. Being one now, it's like their minds have melded which means Stan knows the device's purpose. And he intends to separate them.
"NO!" Ford bellows, voice priggish and angry, hurt tinting the singular word so strongly that their body stalls. Why would stan- Why doesn't he want them to be together?
"Grunkle Stan?" Their head whips to the left, eyes locking with a confused and tired Mabelās. Their focus splits, body jerking in an awkward aborted movement as Stan tries to move forward and Ford holds him back.
āPumpkin grab that- Mabel don't-ā And why can they never agree on anything. When did everything go so wrong?Ā
Flashes of being in this very lab, so long ago- but no, it was before that even.
Mabel stares at them, scared and confused and stan has never wanted her to look at him like that ever. But Ford doesn't register it because for a moment, one split second, Stan stops fighting him.Ā
They don't hesitate to rush forward, very much intent on destroying their creation before it has a chance to be used against them. To hurt them.
Two small hands wrap around it before they can get ahold of it. Mabel clutches it to her chest, watching them with something too close to fear. They freeze in place, hands raising in surrender.
"Sweetie," Falls from their lips, pleading. For what though, they aren't quite sure. Because their mind, it should be one yet it isn't. It's at odds, fragmented by a fear and necessity that clash so strongly it could tear universes apart.
āPress the green- Don't you dare-ā They speak at once, words and thoughts overlapping. Large hands cover their mouth, two others gripping uselessly at wrist that refuse to budge, because regardless of whatever insanity that has plagued Fords mind to make them act this way, Stan will not let their voice- their words even hint at a threat towards Mabel.
Mabel's head bobs, looking from them down to the thing in her hands, unsure of what to do. Stan nods, eyes pleading.
Ford lashes out, angry and hurt and thrashing like a wild dog. 'Stanley please no. Why don't you want us to be-' Stan is retreating, silent and distant. 'Lee. LEE!'
Everything goes dark.
Ford rises slowly, head spinning and ears ringing. He has the worst headache he has ever experienced. He stares at his hands, splayed on the floor. Two hands, six fingers. Wrong.
His head whips up and his gaze finds Stan's crumpled form across from him on the floor. Stan's glaring at him, thick angry tears spilling down red cheeks.
No. No!
His head turns slowly and his eyes fall on Mabel. Mabel who is standing with his prototype in shaky hands looking between a separated Ford and Stan. He... failed. And now they're...
Apart.
Broken.
Wrong.
#taking the stancest obsession and codependency to a whole new level#does this count as a fic?#i feel like this would be pre-weird#but place it whenever in your mind#i imagine post weird that ford would eventually convince stan to let him try again#stan is hesitant but then he remembers the brief second before things had gone wrong#where being them had felt so right#and he wants that again#so he says yes#stancest#stancest angst?#stancest fusion#might turn this into a proper fic someday... well see#kinda shitty but here me out#is this anything???#this was supposed to be a short humorous āford wants to be one with his brother so bad that he invents fusionsā post#and became so much more#this got so out of hand#im sorry?#TUMBLR HAS POSTED THIS 4? TIMES BEFORE IT WAS READY!!#literally just adding tags every time i edit and add to this and refusing to remove the old ones lol#IT GOT LONGER??????#āi can fix themā no i can make them worse
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OCD I feel is a good demonstration of how the fine line between āsaneā and ānotā isnāt even a line at all, itās more like a big gradient or maybe even a big nebulous sphere we all exist in.
Someone with anxiety (relatively normalized and tbh romanticized these days) might fear crowds because what if they are seen and scrutinized and judged? And maybe some breathing exercises and rationalization might help- maybe the phrase āeveryone else is too worried about themself to judge youā might actually do something, if they can truly internalize it. Someone who experiences delusions (very much demonized) might fear crowds because they know that each of their thoughts will be broadcast and everyone else will witness them and mentally converse with each other about it. It WILL happen and nothing can convince them otherwise.
And then OCD (often misinterpreted as being less of a disorder than it really is- see "letting the intrusive thoughts win"- so someoneās condition being worse than everyone expects is generally poorly received) might cause something that can be placed somewhere in the middle- they fear crowds because what if there is a mind reader amongst them? And they tell themself that thatās ridiculous because mind readers donāt exist and if they did we would know by now but what if? And they tell themself that there is an easy way to tell if mind readers exist in the vicinity- if they scream really loud mentally and someone reacts, that means they do exist. If not, itās probably safe. And therefore periodically they must think a sudden scream, not too often so as to not be predictable, and oops! Now itās a compulsion attached to the mindreader obsession and they canāt handle going without it. Maybe it gets even more elaborate over time as the strength of the rituals fades, like, oh, one scream is not enough, it must be done three times to really be sure.
Do you know how common it is for those with OCD to have schizophrenia (the idea of it) as an obsession? Surprisingly common- or perhaps, not so surprising, considering the culture surrounding saneism and that perceived harsh line that divides the ānormalā people from the ones with psychosis. Everyone thinks it could never be them, because they are two entirely different categories of people, right? For OCD, someone might latch onto an obsession they know is ridiculous except they canāt get themselves to stop taking it deathly seriously and so they wonder, am I slipping? Are these really thoughts a sane person could have? And so they remind themself that people with psychosis do not regard their delusions in the same way they are regarding their own obsession, and so, no, they canāt be slipping. And thus frequent personal reality checks become the compulsion. Idk what the point of this post really is, maybe it's just that instead of a checkbox you either check or don't, sanity is more like a color picker thing
#ocd#me post#did you know it can actually go deeper#if you have the moral scrupulosity variety of ocd you might look at your schizophrenia obsession#and go āoh no am I being saneistā or āoh no am I fetishizing psychosisā or BOTH#which may or may not give way to. guess what. more compulsions to manage the guilt#for your obsession with your obsession#might steer into intrusive thought territory where instead of actually thinking about it#whenever you try you immediately flinch away from it and go āNO THAT'S BADā#which strengthens it of course#lmaooo as I was writing this post I was like āam I allowed to post about this? I haven't had the mind reading problem in a whileā#you fool. you dumbass. you're doing the morals thing this very instant. it's why you thought about making this post in the first place#āis this really a normal thing to post at 4 pm on a sunday?ā YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT IT AT 4 PM ON A SUNDAY SO YES#that last one is prolly a general anxiety disorder thing. ocd is like if anxiety got a cool jacket with more pockets than should be possibl
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cc!leo is so weird and fun to write because i have to capture the spectrum of him impossibly gentle and caring, goofy and nonchalant to make everyone feel better, and INSANELY invested in the prospect of brutally murdering someone all at the same time and writing ch23 really illuminates that for me lmao. like the characters just kind of take me places that i dont expect and apparently the answer to "what happens when you strip leo of all his layers of facade and make him forced to hurt the most important person in his life through horrifying mind control?" in this extremely specific instance was uhhhh. Bloodthirsty! apparently
he's so funny to me like bro can you CHILL
#personal#canary continuity#i think the difference between the way he treats his family and everyone else in his life is going to be. Stark. for a long time#considering how pressed he is about the topic of witch town? i could see him in particular developing some paranoia#and hypervigilance#ESPECIALLY whenever they're in the hidden city#like i could all see them worrying about donnie almost to an unhealthy extent but like#there's a non-zero possibility of leo having a paranoia spiral about something like this. he feels like he cant trust ANYONE#except for the people he already knows#not when they dont know who did this all in the first place. he's going to feel like there's more danger waiting for them for. a while#yk i could also see this getting even worse after the invasion !#usually people give a role like this to donnie so im being PROGRESSIVE!!!!#CL showed that leo has a lot of villain potential but like... ngl CW kind of does too#its fun to explore a darker side to him tbh#and i think it is VERY funny how night and day the difference is with how he interacts with donnie#literally the most gentle kind consoling person on the planet lmfao#like with raph a lot of his volence and aggression is very. unplanned. especially in the future#its a panic response above all else. all he can think about is protecting them. he's not really making those choices in his right mind#BUT LEO WILL LOL considering how he's been talking about kitsune??? WOOF#he can be your angle.... or your devil...........#put him in front of his CL self and he would rip his throat out with his teeth im not even joking
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it is kind of insane that there are actual people who consider turning personal arguments into public drama to be 'productive' and then they get upset when nobody wants to talk about their issues
#I have feelings about things don't mind me#the internet is the only place where people purposefully try to get each other bullied whenever someone gets offended it's crazy#it's like they see the internet as a latent weapon that they can easily turn against each other#I wish there was some way we could convince people to Stop It but I fell for the same nonsense when I was a kid#it's a fake power trip until you realize it's making yours and other's lives 1000 times worse and out of control#at some point you just have to decide that you will never give drama the luxury of your attention ever again#random stuff
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Doesn't matter if she was the top or bottom that night, Minthara likes to be the little spoon. One way or another you will hold her.
#minthara#minthara baenre#she's the only romance that even cuddles with you#literally the only romance that depicts aftercare#minthara is this big mean scary badass who is an absolute control freak#and she places herself in your arms cause she just wants you to hold her tight and she loves the snuggles#also the only companion who hugs you#yes. Minthara hugs YOU#and she will do it whenever you ask#she really likes to hold and to be held#she saw into you mind#you are the only one she trusts to not stab her in the back#she is definitely gonna steal every hug and cuddle from you that she can get
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heyo! i learned a new word today and thought i'd share cause it sounds like a word you'd like
the word is apricity and its an old English word meaning "the warmth of the sun in winter" :]
-š
leaf anon ur spot on the money i have instantly fallen in love with this word right now immediately. If anyone sees this show up in one of the next hunger au chapters you know EXACTLY who to blame /DEEPLY SILLY
#shouting speaks#asks#fr one of those moments where i go starry eyed like OHHH I GOTTA USE THAT HOLY SHIT#guys i love words theyre so fun#my touys.....#actually okay a peek behind the curtain of my brain for u rq#my immediate thought for this is how apricity looks similar to and shares the same suffix with *reciprocity*#theres an immediate connection there in my mind; the warmth of the winter sun as a reciprocal gesture almost.. like a hug being returned#theres wordplay opportunities in that and so whenever i use this word#i will look for places to make that happen very intentionally#using different words in place of what would normally be there to evoke a particular image and FEELING is a very big aspect of my writing#i did this in uhhhh i think chap 9??? or 10??? of hunger au with the word ''dredge''#if you read it over its meant to take advantage of the similarities in sound to the word ''dread''#theres an upcoming one in chap 11 where i replace ''pose'' with ''poise'' because they look similar and share roots#but ''poise'' comes with additional connotations in the sentence that push like three different layers into it#im normal. im so normal guys please stick your dictionary in the bars of my cage i wont bi[PAPER SHREDDING SOUNDS]#txt
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Don't you just hate it when you write a fanfic inside your head (without oc's) whenever you're bored, and then you just loose your place during class, or somebody distracted you, and you need to remember where you were but just can't?
Amd the worst part is, that unlike written fanfics, you can't just read back exactly what yoy JUST thought. No, instead you have to think of that same part again, but because you don't remember exactly WHAT it was, you think it in a different why and then the plot of your mind fic just goes to an entirely different place!
Honestly, that's just annoying.
#mind fic#loosing your place in a fanfic#but you were writing it inside your head#so now the scene as to change#fanfic#and the worst part is that most of the time you can't just write it in your phone#cause tou think of it during school or whenever you're bored
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I think I may need to actually write a coffee metaphor fic, and also, I am CRYING
#i mean itd be half crack lbr#eddie's hildy WILL play a central role#yes buck will get eddie his perfect morning coffee3#will he bribe chris for his plot? maybe!!!!#will he order idk kopi lupak to eddies place?#definitely#is eddie going to think his hildy is haunted for at least 2 weeks?#CERTAINLY#he is gonna tell buck he wants to get rid of it bec it can now read minds#and buck tries to be subtle by telling eddie āyou told me you preferred your coffee xyzā#so eddie says āSO IT CAN READ MY MESSAGES?!!ā#buck: no it cant šššš#eddie: HOW WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW#buck: because MAYBE i have access to your hildy ok#eddie: wtf how do you know exactly how i love my coffee? i didnt even know?!#eddie: DID YOU WAKE UP EARLY JUST TO GET MY COFFEE READY WHENEVER I GET UP?#buck: i just turned it on right after you texted me#yeah im invested now ok#obsessed even
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[ TRANSCRIPTION: I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand Why did you leave me, Marcy? We were supposed to be together forever. Is it true that you're an angel now? ]
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#JOURNALING: a snapshot into barton's mind.#yeah uhhh... this is one of those darker pages in his journal. but not THE darkest#i kinddd of wanted to give you guys limited context as to what this page is about but let me just say it has to do with marcy. so yeah...#barton was REALLY going through it whenever she died NGL#i mean barton has never been a very religious man buttt he honestly liked to think that marcy was in a 'better place'#though that doesn't mean that he didn't want her back... to the point where he would draw her as an angel and... well š« #TELL her he needed her to come back even though logically she would probably never see this page as wherever she may be#it is far away from here. but Barton pretty much almosttt had a psychotic break after she died and that had fueled him to draw some PRETTY-#... interesting thing's to say the least. but ahahhh i know that this one might've been slightly jumpscare-y though i-#hope that y'all still liked it!!#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#tw: religious imagery.#tw: slight gore.
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#i can't live like this anymore.#no matter what happens it's always my fault. it can never be anyone else's. and when i try to contest that i get treated like a rabid dog#so youre saying the only role im fit for is 'alcoholic shut in?' is that what you're implying? because that's what it seems like#i can't believe i ever fooled myself into thinking anything would change as long as im here.#no matter how much medication i take this town will always make me fantasize about making myself suffer.#it's a black hole. it's a well of misery. no light escapes and it taints everything inside. i can't have anything good here#i know there's something wrong with me. i get it. but it's like being here makes it worse#im a bad person. i don't want to be a good person. it doesn't feel bad. it just feels warm.#but i can take that and put it in a box when im not here. but its like this place IS the box and when im here it just festers#and because of that i can't ever be taken seriously when i have a problem. im always too emotional and too angry and too sensitive#and even if I wasn't any of those things they wouldn't take me seriously anyway.#it's one thing to say your kitchen doesn't have a problem with women and it's another thing entirely to stay true to that.#if a ticket is too slow it's my fault. if the temp on a steak is wrong it's my (female) coworker's fault. if something's not organized#it's one of the girls that left it that way. always.#but whenever the guys have problems it's 'just how it is' but when uts any of us it warrants a talking to every time#if i were normal it wouldn't bother me this much but im not and it does. and no amount of reasoning will ever change a man's mind#this was good while it lasted but i need to leave. my life depends on it. i can't survive here.
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feeling so bleh these days
#iām learning how to not take things personally but you know how whenever people are quite sneaky about the ways they need help?#it feels disingenuous and Iām trying to learn how to set my boundaries once Iāve identified that without them getting somehow offended#Iām 3 years into my degree and am realizing how toxic people can get even your classmates like it just feels so strange for some reason#there is this person that always asks me and my friend for help and I personally donāt mind helping just cause I like helping and I try to#help whenever I can bc why not? no reason to be selfish with help methinks but anyways#I realized this person is trying to get me to help her but itās more so she can get closer to my friend and ask her for help & confirmation#bc apparently sheās born here so sheās the more knowledgeable one in terms of English which Iām like ā¦ I donāt know her intentions but#actions do speak louder than words? so I donāt want to react so much to this but if it happens then I guess my help would be limited than b4#idk Iām conflicted but Iām trying to not think too much of it#I dont think this comes from a bad place too cause Iāve worked with this person so I know how sheās like#itās my observations and conversations with her that led me to think this way and def not just from a few convos#but it is whatever. this is life apparently.
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Did nothing but play Inquisition yesterday and it was āØ magical āØ š„²ššā¤ļøā¤ļø
#le whiny text post#I was a lot better at this game when I was younger š„²#I also figured I'd be able to beat Inquisition before whenever Veilguard comes out#but now that I'm Olde and my free time is less free I'm actually not sure š„²#not that I mind though bc a tight fit before whenever Veilguard drops would be nice#good fresh mind into DA before the next installment#but I did want to fit in an Origins playthrough after Inquisition though#Dagna talking about the Warden made me emotional š„²š„²š„²#also still need to finish reading Tevinter Nights#which: Patrick Weekes' writing style is probably my favourite tho everyone else I've gotten to thus far is equally as good#I could use the refresher though. I was explaining DA to my friend a while back bc she played Inquisition at my place#and I completely forgot most things flgdlhfhlfh forgot what The Calling was forgot the names of places forgot The Joining#forgot a ton of terminology for the GWs despite them being probably my favourite aspect#was reading Tevinter Nights and forgot what the fuck the Ben Hassrath are when they were mentioned#all I remembered was that Bull was one fhrkfbfkfbfj#forgot that the Qun has like a caste system#also the more I play through I forgot how much of a pretty little liar both Blackwall and Solas are flhdlhdlhd ily but fuck u guys š„²š„²š„²#remembered on my first playthrough how noncommittal Blackwall was about Darkspawn like aren't your spider senses supposed to tingle??????#iirc man was also in my party most of the time and like????? ur not gonna elaborate on the Wardens??? my warden????? talk about my Warden#also in retrospect Weekes really put all the suspicious dialogue in for Solas fgodhld#the way Bull talks to him in banter
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do i let feminism lose and spend all of my savings on a rhinoplasty or do i continue to just. live Like That lol
#kms idk what to do#it's doing research on best surgeons in your country hours while your friends with normal noses are sleeping#anyway it's been a great little vacation and i had a lot of fun but the absolute fucking dread whenever someone is taking a picture#and i cant control how it looks. is ruining all the fun.#i said fuck it once today and then saw that picture my friend took of me and wanted to yeet myself into traffic straight away#the worst thing is im obsessed with big unusual conventionally unattractive noses. i love them.#but mine is not this hot sexy aquiline kind. its just a huge round bulbous fucking potato in the middle of my face#its the kind of nose no one will ever find pretty or hot or even interesting. its just comical. it looks like a fake clown nose.#and while it is indeed very in character of me to have a fucking clown nose attached to my face 24/7 forever#its literally making me wanna wear a paper bag over my head#goddd idk. cause like. what if something goes wrong lol knowing my luck it definitely could#and then uhhhh idk i guess i really would just kms lol#funny thing - didn't even really notice it before uni. like i always knew there was something seriously fucking wrong with my face#but could never put a finger on what it is exactly#and then this uni friend made that one comment about my nose and suddenly everything clicked into place#you're absolutely right queen the fucking nose aka the CENTRAL thing on my face is the main culprit here lol#anyway not a day has gone by since then that i wouldnt look into the mirror and felt awful and pathetic about it <3#i am ready to go against all of my ideals and just do it. ill have no money left but maybe its worth it. to get a little peace of mind. idk.
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don't you love it when you work freelance and people simply leave you on read after you tell them how much whatever they want costs <3 such a great feeling like sure i'm not a person no need to treat me like one just pretend i'm a clothing item you found a little too expensive and just put it back on the rack <33 so so great not even a thanks <333
#like fuck man whenever i go to physical places to buy things and then i'm like you know what never mind#i always say hello when i enter the store and then thanks have a godo day when i leave#because i'm treating with a person!!!#so why is it that if you're talking online you can just ignore any niceties#fuck man even yesterday when i was talking with customer service online#literally hello good afternon yes thank you for your work#like it costs fucking nothing man#b.txt
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TUMBLR 101: a helpful guide for tiktok refugees
are YOU a former tiktok user trying to learn how to use tumblr to fill the void the american tiktok ban is leaving in your soul? here are some things you should know, from someone whoās going on their eighth year on this hellsite:
1. you can say anything on here. gone are the days of having to use words like āunaliveā and āseggs.ā murder! kill! sex! fuck! speak your mind!
2. there is a community for you on here. regardless of what youāre into or however small the fandom is, you have a place here. at least one other person will have heard of your weird obscure interest. strike up a conversation!
3. followers donāt matter. tumblr is one of the last remaining social media sites in which your number of followers means absolute jack shit. this can be disorienting at first, but once you lean into the fact that everyone on this website is equal, itās very freeing. clout means nothing here.
4. similarly, you can post at any time. while tiktok has an algorithm that favors certain times, tumblr has no such algorithm. post whatever you want, whenever you want. every post has virtually the same chance at getting notes, regardless of when it is posted.
5. tags can have spaces between the words! this one is very exciting. tags can be a whole sentence. you can also use the tags to comment on someoneās post without actually adding onto the physical post itself (which is sometimes frowned upon and called āderailingā if you use this feature to bring up a completely different point other than the one thatās being made on the original post).
TL;DR: speak your mind, find your place, followers donāt matter, post anytime, have fun with tags!! tumblr is a wonderful site used to share things youāre excited about. be patient with yourself as youāre learning and have fun!
#feel free to add things in the tags or comments#just trying to help my people šļæ½ļæ½āā#tiktok ban#tiktok#tiktok refugee#jo.posts
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When you realize that youāve accumulated a whole slew of bad habits over the past 2-ish yearsā¦
#ugh where do I even begin#entering into another mini depression#and just general frustration with myself#i am high key a mess but not that many people around me know this#and I intend on keeping it that way#when your go-to way of masking is just. keeping people at armās length#also when did I become so shut at managing finances? this isnāt the first time Iāve been alone#or perhaps this is a reflection of my overall decline in mental health? idk#Iām trying not to spiral right now and compare myself to others. but. itās easier said than done#I gotta fix my sleep schedule. thank god melatonin exists for that#I have to like try and become more productive again. my old methods no longer work. probably because Iām no longer officially in college#I used to write all my to-do lists on my tablet and when the app used to actually work Iād be able to see it on my laptop#but now itās not guaranteed that Iāll use my tablet every day. so to-do lists are out of sight out of mind for me#before I had like a whiteboard and a bunch of loose leaf papers. not the best but it was something#I think I need to go back to that#and finally reduce screen time and nip it in the bud. I think my use started to increase like crazy once I was lonely AND didnāt have much#options for places to go#but now I do#I think whatās also frustrating is that I feel like I had my shit more together when I was 18 or even 20 than I do now#like now everything is an uphill battle#god Iāve been needing to increase my med dose for forever. Iāve been at the lowest possible dose for so long#24 isnāt too late to get your life together right? right???#thanks for coming to my ted talk#uchiha-gaeshiās life crisis#status: revived#will it ever end#uchiha-gaeshi overshares#uchiha-gaeshi ramblings#also Iāve noticed that I kind of regress a bit (understatement) whenever I go back home so. that probably hasnāt helped.#but thankfully Iām away so. self improvement here we come
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