#i just. i dont wanna make ppl feel guilty into staying

[parkinglothater]

life is just sucks recently

[ma3mae]

No one likes syringes!

Summary : You gotta take your weekly syringe but you're afraid of needles so how can these mfs (Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Aku, Chuuya) convince you to take it 🤷

Genre : bit cracky and fluff, prob lots of teasing bc u know who tf im talking about 💀

Warnings : heartattacks bc we all simp too hard for these men 🛐 maybe a bit of suggestive themes at the end

A/N : managed to inject myself for the first time (aint no drugs, need them bc HEALTH) and bro, my hands r still shaky bc fear 😭 how do ppl do this so easily 💀 also the syringe is like a pen (also for this story) but broo its still scary and i need some bsd character comforting me 😩✋✋

Dazai Osamu

Lets say yall live together and hes at work while u r home alone

cant bring yourself to do it alone bc bro syringes are scary (even if its just a pen bc NEEDLES BRO) 😩😭

So you text him and ask what hes doing and tell him if hes got time to come home asap bc we r nearly crying at this point

hes gonna be SO ANNOYING like "i was just waiting for a text from you~ dont worry, your knight in shining armor will save you"

BROO he prob knew that you gotta take them today and also knew that nothing would be going on at the agency so he couldve stayed at home but nah 😭😭 (sadistic a** fr fr)

but hes still hurrying nonetheless bc hes not that MEAN -right???-

arrives at home and finds you on the couch holding the pen with shaky hands and his heart does feel a TAD bit guilty bc fr he couldve stayed at home and u would have gotten this shit over asap

gon be all like "dw im here now, okay? Lets just get this over with and then we'll cuddle, how about that?"

homegirl is about to cry at this point bc just FREE HER from this misery

sits next down to you and takes the pen from your hands

If you do wanna try it out yourself, he'll gently guide you through it

He knows how afraid you are and teasing would just make you sob instantly bc the pressure is already too much to deal with YEAH U BETTER STFU U TEASE !! jk still love him

will try to change your mind tho by sayinf stuff like "Really? ~ i mean its brave and good of you to try it yourself but I really love helping you, you know. Want to do everything for you, darling." he knows EXACTLY what hes doing to us by saying that

Is prob gonna give us that look and whisper in our ear and shi im sorry im too down bad for this man at this point 😩

if you dont wanna do it yourself then, he'll tell you to look at him while hes pressing the pen onto your thigh or stomach

You still cant keep your eyes off of it? Sry girl, theres only one solution

He'll just click his tounge at you while having that fking smirk on his face as he says "still too distracted, I see? Well seems like theres only one way to help you"

gives you a kiss on the lips and just deepens it while looking STRAIGHT into your eyes got my knees weak for him fr

you only feel a tiny sting and as soon as a "click" is heard, he'll break the kiss and just grins at you as if he didnt trick you lol

but who are you to complain, he sees that you liked it and will def comment on that

"see, love? Wasn't so hard after all. But you still did well. Proud of you as always"

pecks you on the lips again before setting the pen onto the table and wraps his arms around your waist bc NO WAY in hell is he gonna let go after that

"i think i deserve a reward for that~" "you said you were waiting for a text so you KNEW i had to do it today, right?" ".... welp, not gonna apologize on that 🤷🤷🤷"

u can understand why kunikida has to SIGH all the time as soon as dazai opens his mouth but oh well, you're too whipped to care about at this point

wont let you go so guess you'll have to reward him 💅 no ones complaining LOL

if you tell him to help you next time before hes gone for work, he'll def do it bc he loves u but poor kunikida gotta expect him arrive at work late more often bc he wont leave home without rewards 🛐

Kunikida Doppo

You already know that he got the exact day, hour, minute and SECOND written down on when you gotta take your pen

You tell him that the day is enough and that the time doesnt matter but NOO 😤 YOU WILL take it at the exact time

If its at ungodly hours like 3am or smth, bro he'll wake you up like no mercy for his schedule 😭

If u complain to him tho then dw he will rearrange it for u bc he may love to stick to his plans but he wont ignore your needs and stuff either get urself a man who takes care of u like that 😤😤

will prefer to do it before work, so if you're not an early bird then he'll wake u up but dw you'll get a forehead kiss and bro's already fully dressed n' stuff BUT waking up to him looking at you with such a loving gaze will make u forget that its 5-6am or smth 😩

will first let you get up in peace and make u some calming tea bc he knows what will come next ✋

"Y/N, I know you don't like it but you have to take your pen today, okay?"

if we start a tanthrum then he already knows about it like bro's prepared for everything!!

"Kuni, do we really ha-" "Yes." "But you know I dont li-" "Yes and yes. I know you hate it but don't worry, I've already written everything down on how to do it and what to be aware of so its okay to feel afraid but don't worry because I'm here. Nothing will happen and I've already bought your favorite snacks so you'll feel better but dont eat too much of it when I'm gone. "

u already know he spent a night or smth just researching everything about it as soon as you told him

prob even went to a library and once came back home with multiple books in his hands, hes THAT dedicated UGH I LOVE HIM 💕

you could just sob rn bc how did the earth bless you with this man KUNIKIDA I NEED U 😭😭😭

If the pen is kept in a fridge then dw he already put that shit out for it to not be cold anymore (prob counted the minutes and seconds LOL)

he'll sit you down on the bed or couch, disinfect the place on where you'll take it (lol that sounds WRONG) and he'll give you a peck on your forehead before asking if you're alright and ready to go through with it bc no way in hell is he gonna do it while you're too shaken up for it

If you wanna try to do it alone then he'll take your hand into his as you're grabbing the pen, slowly guiding it while praising you for how brave you are for trying this and that hes proud of you IM SOBBING

will also tell you to look at him if you get more afraid by seeing it on your skin

Honestly even if you dont wanna do it yourself, he'll make sure to be there and will praise you every time you get through with it bc you KNOW he means it

Honestly makes you tear up everytime and u just wanna kiss this man fr

you thank him and tell him how glad you are to have him, he'll be smitten even more than he already is

Cup his face with your hands and kiss him bro's gonna find it really difficult to not stay at home and just be in your arms

at the end of the day, his love for you exceeds his ideals so he wouldnt mind arriving at work some minutes later if he gets to have you in his arms for a bit longer

Will arrive at work with such a good mood that hes prob gonna freak dazai out with it especially when he overlooks some dumb remarks from him the power of love YALL but who can blame him, his heart is thumping louder than dazai's rambling LOL

maybe yall will continue when hes back home, who knows 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

Nakajima Atsushi

when you told him about the pen for the first time, he was literally thrown off like "wait, so you have to.... stab yourself regularly with that?????"

hes just SO precious bc his heart's squeezing at you asking him if he could help u bc you just feel so comfortable and just knowing that makes him SWOON

But at the same time hes panicking bc HOW CAN HE DO THAT WITHOUT HURTING U

Ngl hes prob also afraid of needles and stuff 😭 is gonna look at u like the pic above LOL

will ask yosano or even recommend that she should do it but you're like "NO!! im sorry, tsushi but im too scared of her and i feel safe with u :(((("

you got him WHIPPED and DEDICATED bc he'll def research that shit through and through

Will ask his coworkers (prob kunikida) how to best handle the situation

has everything ready but will stumble and be kinda hastily about it at first bc hes prob even more nervous than you are 💀

either it implifies your fear more or its just so ridiculous that you're legit like "ily but im not gonna die or smth 🤨🤨🤨" you cant blame him tho 😤

hes gonna be all like "OKAY OKAY, we got this. No, I GOT this s-so no worries, okay?" bro, BREATHE. Hes just about to pass out at this point jk jk

if you decide to try it out alone, he'll be a bit saddened bc does this mean you dont want him to help you after all?? :(( was he not good enough of a choice to be of help :((( TSUSHI STFU ILY

dw just reassure him that you obviously appreciate his help and still need him to be there bc no way in hell can u do it alone without ur hubby

will tell you everything he had learned about the pen and how to use it with a bit of a tremble in his voice but he pulls through with it!!

You manage to do it and BOY get ready for a rant on how proud of you he is

will want to pamper you with kisses on ur face "tsushi, i know that look. Go ahead and do it, dont hold back" "really, y/n!!?" "😩 bro do it ok" will try to hold back with gluing himself onto you but how can he NOT

If u dont wanna do it urself then it will prob go like this:

its time for yk what and he sees the genuine fear in your eyes but dw he got you

hes prob gon be like "my s/o need me rn and i have to help them!!!" hes actually gonna remember everythinf he looked up and prob memorized for you bc hes AN ANGEL will put his forehead against yours and tell you to look at him "i wont let anything hurt you and happen to you. You're afraid and honestly im afraid too but you and i will get through this, okay?" gives you the most lovestruck smile ever before he looks down and counts to three

"breathe in, y/n. It will be okay" he ignores his slightly trembling hands and at the count of three inserts it. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER📸📸📸

as soon as yall hear a click, he quietly counts to three before pulling it out and BROO the relief is refreshing af

"WE DID IT, Y/N!!!" Is hella giddy bc how can he not be proud of the both of you!!!! You did it!!! will honestly pull you in a hug bc hes just so happy

prob gonna realise that he just did it without asking u and will be sheepish all like "o-oh sorry, i just got too excited" "no tsushi. We should be happy about this so dont let go!!" no need to say it twice bc hes gonna wrap his arms even tighter around you and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck ILL GIVE U A KISS TSUSHI 🛐🛐

will he feel bad for arriving at work a bit later? Maybe but a scolding from kunikida wont hold him back from holding you for a tad bit longer

He'll be a bit less nervous for the next times and it will surely decrease with each time bc practice yk but will obviously still hold you until he made sure that you're feeling okay afterwards

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Bro's nearly flabbergasted bc why are you making such a FUSS 🤨🤨 im sry dont sue me

"Calm down, you idiot. It's only a pen. You dont even SEE the needle."

dont ask him why hes staying with you if its JUST a needle then bc bro will prob just straight up get up and leave if you point it out 💀

will prob be the first to not even suggest but just TELL you to do it yourself aku im hurting over here 😩

will prob make an effort in atleast roughly skimming through a website about it prob smth weird like wikihow LMAO

If he does see you how afraid you really are of it, hes rly trying his best to ignore the small ache its giving his heart bc he takes no pleasure in witnessing u be so afraid✋ its still JUST a pen in his eyes at the end of the day lol

will just sigh and snatch that shit from your hands bc he cant bear to see you like this any longer are we looking that pitiful, probably LOL

But he'll be surprisingly soft with his touch, nearly just ghosting you with his hands is that even a term, nvm yall know what i mean

Hes just gonna be straightforward with it bc the faster its over the better. He wont admit that he just wants to help but cant convey it bc what even are feelings 🤷

He'll tilt your chin towards him and just say "Look at me, Y/N. Stop overthinking it. You won't get hurt from this stupid thing, okay? If smth does happen, I'll just destroy the factory thats making this."

You dont know if hes joking to lighten the mood or if hes serious bc its aku

But hes prob joking

anyway hes gonna ask you like smth rly random like "What do you wanna eat later" which will confuse you but you'll answer nonetheless bc hey hes initiating a convo!!

as you start to talk and he notices you're relaxed enough for him, welp yk whats happening

Actually makes you wince a bit bc it just caught you off guard

"Ryuu, what the f-?!" "Just bear with it." ok we have been silenced 🛐

yall hear the click of relief, he counts in his mind to three and quickly pulls that shit out

you're slightly trembling from relief from finally getting it over you and bro just clicks his tounge like "You're such a fool. Cant believe something insignificant like that makes you nearly shit your pants."

you lowkey glare at him for that bc BRO needles r spooky 😭 but dw before you even open your mouth to tell him off, he'll look to the side and say "... You did good for holding that out though... but its still stupid."

just give him a peck on the cheek or smth bc this boy is prob craving some praise after having helped you like that

"Thank you, Ryuu. I couldnt have done this without you. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for"

Give him a tight hug, kiss and boom you got him around your finger

he'll take a second to wrap his arms around you and will just hide his face in the crook of ur neck like our other boy tsushi

"Of course, I'd help... I'll still blow up the factory for scaring you like that."

"NO!!" jk he wont if u tell him not to but hes just trying to say he doesnt like seeing u like that we know aku, dw 💕💕

if his coworkers ask why hes arriving a bit later at work, he'll just tell them to shut up and continue with their work

If you look closely you'll see his ears turn a bit pink as he keeps thinking of you and your words 💕💕😭

Nakahara Chuuya

Honestly its gonna be a mix of every reaction possible I think

Like if you tell him about the pen, hes first gonna feel a bit pressured like "O-Oh wait so you want ME to help with it??"

Like no offense hes obviously feeling pretty happy about that you are asking him for help especially for smth important as your health

But he knows hes not the most gentle person and does have his worries that he might accidentally hurt you or smth

wont ask anyone for advice bc its his love of his life can i be that pls that asked HIM so he'll do it at the end of the day!!

but if hes feeling rly unsure then he wont mind slipping a question about it when hes reporting to mori

which means being not subtle at all

"So was that all for today's report of the mission." "Yeah." "Then do you need something or why are you still standing there?" ".... *pulls out a picture of your pen* do you know how to use this?..."

you def know that chuuya's feeling so embarassed that hes asking his BOSS but its a sacrifice hes willing to pay

mori will have mercy on him and tell him what he should be careful of and summarise on how to use it

Will prob throw in a "good luck~" bc how can u not TEASE him

anyway our boy's done his research and now comes the hard part

"Okay, dont panic Y/N." "HOW CAN I NOT WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING IT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" "JUST DONT PANIC, FFS"

dw as soon as he sees you trembling, he'll be softer than a marshmallow

a chuuya one

"Oi, look at me. I'll make sure nothing's gonna happen to you, alright? Will just sting a bit and thats it. Will take care of you after this so you'll forget this ever happened."

HOW CAN U NOT SWOON AT HIM 😩😩

he'll even take off his gloves so you'll be more relaxed if you can feel his skin bro the gloves are giving off doctor vibes in this scenario, will make us panic more LOL

if you really cant keep your eyes off it then well....

"Damn it, love. Stop looking at it." will just press his lips onto you for a second before breaking it and inserting that shi*

"Ch-Chuuya!" "I know, i know. Dont worry, its gonna be over real soon."

And boom thr click is heard and yall are finally done

Honestly his shoulders are gonna relax instantly, boy was tensed up even more than you skskskks but who can blame him

"OMG chuuya we did it!!" "Yeah, you did it, doll." bro's gonna latch onto you again bc that kiss from earlier wasnt enough for the both of u 😩

is it riling yall up? Probably but welp you 're already either shirtless or pantless so only one clothing to pull off less work for yall

Mori's just gonna be like "I see, you managed to get through it" and chuuya just tiltd his fedora down so u cant see his face bc he REALLY wants to ignore that his boss knows whats been holding our boy up cant blame him 🤷🤷🤷

***************

Lol that was WAY too long but honestly this was so good to write 😩 now im just gonna be sad that none of them r here to do it irl but oh welp, will just read more stuff about them ✋💅

[yuukei-yikes]

care for my kagepro au inspired by phineas and ferb across the 2nd dimension where they hang out in a dark undisclosed location and they all have knives

this is extremely over the top and supposed to be funny btw. ayano's plot hole plan that makes no sense doesn't work but from another angle. she gets spit back from the daze in the same way it doesn't make sense for her to stay in there and she's still in THE AIR FROM JUMPING so erm she shatters a leg and maybe her spine too. fun times. she walks with a limp now

ayano in the daze's like. but i wanted this -> i deserved this -> im guilty i got what i wanted though -> i deserve punishment -> this IS punishment -> but i wanted this (restart) SO in this scenario where she survived she's still struggling with guilt because she DARED try to take the easy way out when she knew her siblings needed her. so now she's edgelord I must protect my siblings i dont deserve my cape (edgily puts scarf away) also the eyepatch is for extra edgelord vibes but i think it'd be cool if she can't control favoring because she's so all over the place so it's always active, and since she feels so much regret she can only project that one memory of her jumping to ppl. sad. so she covers it for the sake of everyone.

because of ayano's survival it's evident kenjirou is posessed so ayano+mekatrio move out immediately and are in actual hiding from him. that's why they're at undisclosed location. seto brings mary with them. so ayano's like ok, saeru wants all the snakes together, they're all gonna gather anyway it's better to have them all in one place and have eyes on them. so she starts the gathering process herself. in this saeru is extremely just Out There cartoonishly taking over the city style i told you this is based on phineas and ferb. i told you. btw the joke is that it's insanely over the top. i just find it episodic and joyful.

also ayano's cold to shintaro because she can't afford to have her feelings for him distract her, she has no right to normal teenage girl feelings like a CRUSH. but shintaro still believes kano as ayano saying IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT was the real ayano which matches with her new behaviour towards him so he's extremely pathetic about it. he's with her through her entire recovery and becomes her right hand man which the trio HAAATE bc ayano doesn't let them do anything but shintaro can always come<3 their missions go from buying groceries to saving haruka and takane from the evil lab to kidnapping hibiya and hiyori. shit like that.

they get hibiya and hiyori and it's their BIGGEST PRIORITY to protect them because they're saeru's next target and if they can avoid having all snakes out it's by making sure these 2 stay alive. erm they don't wanna be there though. it's dark in here and you're all weird as hell. momo is tasked with babysitting them. she's not happy about it.

momo never gets her money controlled, dropped out from school since day 1 and the fame got to her head so she's kinda awful. she's the only one allowed out of wherever the fuck they are because of work she's literally the one paying 4 everything. toxic yuri situation with kido who has one side of their head shaved. you know how it goes. also kido acts rly tough like they're out there killing thugs and goons but mostly they just make food

takane is the medic in the same way barbers used to be surgeons in the middle age which means everyone tries really hard not to get hurt so they don't have to go to her. also saeru's whole Experiments on haruka and takane thing is a lot more evil and ermmm she has one less leg and she's permanently connected to a reactor thing of sorts so she's also the team's tech! woohoo!! it's unknown whether she got opening eyes or not because she has no idea how to activate it which makes ayano rly frustrated. same goes for haruka who has not woken up since aug 15. which is the main reason takane started watching youtube tutorials on medicine. get you a girl who will take care of you if you're in a coma and there is no access to a hospital.

seto and mary wield weapons for one reason or another. kano is extremely guilty about shintaro's guilt but also hates him more than ever bc ayano won't trust him anymore and now shintaro's the one knowing everything. probably some doomed yaoi in there somewhere. this is my evil kagepro au

[neptunescore]

k you asked for unpopular f1 opinions and idk if this even counts but i Do Not Like lando norris. i actively dislike him, actually. couldn't really tell you why, he's just really annoying. and that move with the fist pump during max's anthem at the canadian gp? not fucking cool. i also hate when people say shit like "omg he's so public school core" or "idk he just feels more authentic than the rest of them (drivers)" because most people didn't know he had money growing up. his dad is like a fucking billionaire (millionaire?) CEO like shut up. i just feel like he can't possibly be as nice as people think. also his win in miami had distinctly Weird Vibes. not necessarily bad, just Wrong. should not have happened. also that thing where he said "trump is someone you gotta have a lot of respect for" like no??? he's not??? he's a conservative right wing politician who was found guilty on all 34 counts in his hush money case. he's a white-collar criminal (the worst kind). he deserves no respect. shut up. it would be better to just not say anything at all. yeah.

I have had SO MANY asks on lando, but i shall keep responding😤.

No1. All the shit Lando has done. Ugh, dont even get me started on it, im just gonna link my old post bc im so done talking abt it.

No2. I don't hate lando, I'm not a lando 'hater', bc I feel like you can't really hate a person you have never met and don't know on a personal level. However, I do feel very strongly abt some of his actions, and I do think he should take accountability for shit he's done. Personally, I just don't like him that much, and so I stay away from his content and fans. If I see smthng funny he's done or see content abt him that I enjoy then I laugh and appreciate it, but recently he's just been irritating towards my beliefs and values, so I'm keeping my distance.

No3. I just wanna say, very gently, even if you dislike a driver, you shouldn't discredit their wins/ accomplishments bc in the end thats smthng they've earned, and it's literally their job, like for me, when I saw miami, I thought "good for him" and moved on. I did get really pissed abt his comments on trump tho, man really went and stained his first race win with all that shit.

No4. Ur point on the way ppl say, 'he's more authentic than the rest of the drivers'. Honestly, I've seen so many ppl have this opinion, and all I'm gonna say is: Every driver has a different pr strategy. Lando's whole strategy is being perceived as 'relateable' and 'quirky', and, by the looks of it, it's working really well. Obv we – as fans – will never know if he's genuinely like this in person or if it is just fully pr (same with all the other drivers), but from what's provided to us we're all free to make our own assumptions :]

I just feel like he can't possibly as nice as people think

I think, nonnie (and this is meant in the kindest way possible), assumptions like these are smthng we should avoid making. You don't know lando, and I don't know lando, so really we'll never know if he's truly as nice or not, and we shouldn't say stuff like this about ppl who've never actually done anything to be precieved that way. Like yes, we can talk abt how lando is ignorant and the type to either: 1. Not think bfr he speaks/ does smthng or 2. Has really bad political views and questionable morals (and if this option is fully confirmed, i will become a full hater, doesn't matter if hes nice or not). But what has he ever done that shows us he's not kind/ nice to his fans?

[every-single-day]

I agree with the prev anon-Ik it sounds strange but honestly any and all things i know of him are things I’ve seen on here (and ofc from defending him against the allegations and whatnot) like most pics i find of him are on here-(the prev one i found was on a post about ‘age accurate curtis brothers’ thing-i didn’t know where the actual pic was from but yeah. it can feel like a lot sometimes and even tho i’ve never personally bothered with looking him up (most stuff i know is from june when the shitstorm happened and ppl were giving me info left and right to use as leverage to help his case) i still feel like-awful for knowing so much yknow? (this sounds like a piss poor excuse and i’m not trying to sound self righteous-i kinda just figured if we were sharing i’d hop on-you don’t have to share this if you don’t want like i know i’ve made my fair share of jokes and little commentaries but in all honesty like…most of the stuff i know/have seen is shit other people have sent to me in june-honestly even with that excuse i feel bad)

idk, you dont have to post this, but on that topic i just feel hazy yk? like i’ve never looked him up or bothered with any interviews (save from the ones in IG that have floated around ) abd the podcast

but i still feel bad knowing so much about him yknow? i dunno if im making sense-this got kind of venty so if you don’t wanna post this you don’t gotta-but at some point it does make me feel bad for knowing so much/seeing so many pictures that he himself hasn’t talked about/posted. idk where they come from and it’s not my business but it makes me feel guilty sometimes

i should clarify this isn’t a jab at anyone. this is kinda me just reflecting on a lot i guess because i’ve been thinking about it but you were right. it’s hard to differentiate fiction vs reality at some points. and at some point it makes me wonder how would he feel about it. i know he’s not gonna see it. but it just makes me wonder. (again, not a jab at anybody-i love all of the little fan club we have going on-but at some point, where is the line, yknow?)

It's okay to be a fan and do fan things!!!! Watch interviews, look at publicly posted photos and swoon, post artwork, listen to performances, make memes, joke around! That's all natural!

This little discussion is just a reminder to keep that healthy balance between having fun and staying respectful <3

[darby-rowe]

As someone who writes darker content - mostly just in private now, but I used to post it waaaay back in 2020 - I think it’s super normal to feel that guilt! I’ve been there, so please don’t feel alone. As long as you know that it’s fantasy, and that you tagged it appropriately, and that people have the power to scroll, you’ll be okay. You posted the content in a very respectful and responsible manner. Don’t beat yourself up for it! And of course, if you decide that you aren’t comfortable leaving it up, we will understand. Make sure you put yourself first and take care 🫶🏻

i’ve been thinking a bit on why i felt so guilty after posting that fic and i think i figured it out.

i think it’s because this is the first time i’ve ever let myself write what i wanna write? for so many years i’ve been primarily focused on staying “pure” in fandom and playing it safe, and now that i finally let myself produce the dark content that i’ve always wanted to make…? idk it’s just a weird feeling!

and i know that we’re all adults here (at least i hope so) and we know when to scroll past things we don’t like, there’s still a nagging feeling of guilt in the back of my mind even tho i tagged the SHIT outta the fic. i also have this weird fear of any of my dear mutuals looking at my more darker and weirder fics and going “oh… yikes 😬” LIKE SKDKSKFKS. idk.

all in all i think the guilt i feel is just due to my insecurities. at the end of the day it’s pure fiction and fantasy. and even when i dont think so, ppl get a kick outta my darker fics and i think that’s pretty neat.

please let me know if this makes sense or if im just yappin’ at this point lol.

thank u for ur kind message, anon 🫶

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

i feel kinda bad abt taking my mental health/work day

like yea i get an insane amount of school work but theres ppl i go to school w who have practice, and rehersal and get it done. am i seriously this mentally weak and unstable?? that i get so stressed out and anxious over school i have to take a day to do it cause i cant do my work at school? really???? like i feel idk idk how i feel. i dont think guilty is the right word? but neither is weak? idk. but its bad. theres just so much going on in my family life too that im worried about and i keep trying to tell myself that this is ok and needed and i just have to get the work done but its so hard to not worry and get overanxious to the point i cant go to school. mental health is such a tricky thing and i know its important but i feel so bad when i take care of it. i will say i put on my insta note "needing to stay home from school to do schoolwork is crazy" and like 5 ppl from school have responded saying they do the same thing all the time cause its so necessary. that makes me feel less bad abt taking today off, well not really off im gonna spend my whole day working even tho thats what i did yesterday too after my PSAT and barely made a dent in my planner. its just its so much. so so so so much and i feel bad that other ppl can handle it but i cant. ik ppls brains are built different but how come i struggle so much in school and w school work and others just pass w As and dont even bat an eye???? ig stupid is how it makes me feel. guilty, weak, and stupid. its only october and i feel like im on a sinking ship, i have school to worry abt, loved ones in florida to worry abt, my mas health to worry abt, my health to worry abt, keeping the house at least kinda clean to worry abt, plans to worry abt, social things to worry abt, so much to worry abt. also slightly unrelated but i have a dr appt to go to on saturday and get to skip out on helping w open house at my school and trying to explain to my friend why no she wouldnt rather spend her saturday talking w her mothers spinal surgeon about how she could be paralyzed for the rest of her life, or how her back conditions could kill her. id rather work open house but she insisted i was "lucky" to miss out. i just feel so overwhelmed already. its only october and my mental health is already at such an edge that i cant go to school. ik that going where i go will be good in the long run and the adults around me are constantly telling me that but idk if its worth it since who knows if ill even make it to the long run. they keep insisting that too. ignoring my mental health concerns and just saying that i go to such a good school and my diploma will help me much more than if i went to public school. which is all tru but it shouldnt be at the cost of my mental, and physical health. they say itll make college easier but if this is supposed to prep me for college idk if i can make it another 4 years of this.

im not happy anymore. not long term anyways like sure hoco was fun and i was happy, i was happy getting ready and dancing but as soon as it ended i wasnt happy anymore. i was back to my now usual empty kind of sadness. i watch shows, play games, and make art that usually makes me happy and it doesnt anymore. i stopped drawing for pleasure, only watch shows and yt series to get it over with and havent touched any games in a long time. nothings fun anymore. everyone is so happy, going to parties, hanging out, having fun but here i am practically drowning trying to even crack a smile. ive started just doing the bare minimum for myself to survive. school, sleep, eating, showers basic things. ive abandoned most of my hobbies and ik thats not good for me but i just cant bring myself to do them. i wanna be happy and i dont want ppl ik to worry so i just kinda fake it hoping no one will notice and maybe i can make other ppl happy. im lonely, sad, anxious, guilty, depressed. i should be excited abt things but everything feels like an obligation now. im just trying to go abt life trying not to die and thats pretty much it.

[termitesisagrandslam]

i havent been working for the past year and ive felt so immensely awful and guilty about it bc there's "no reason". im not working bc i live w my parents and they dont charge me rent and dont push me hard to get a job. and i do feel like i am doing something morally bad. like theres so many ppl who are forced to work who are worse off than me and yet i have the privilege to stay home and do nothing.

and i do have reasons, im depressed and unmotivated and avoidant and im stagnated and i think im putting off "trying to start my life" bc im scared that once i actually try and make an effort to be an adult and build my own life, i will have be confronted w a life that is hopeless. im also so desperately afraid to end up at a job im miserable at. or one that makes my back pain worse again.

but my reasons are existential or they are something that everyone deals w. most ppl arent happy at their jobs, many are miserable, why do they have to work still but im allowed to sit out bc "i dont wanna". it feels selfish and foolish and im not even saving up and helping myself for when i inevitably am on my own. lacking experience and money, both of which were in my power to rack up but i just didnt

but i also know that a lot of my guilt is based around false ideas of morality and valuing yourself based on productivity. but even if i tell myself that, it still feels like an excuse, like im trying to make myself feel better when i should feel ashamed. like ultimately im just lazy and spoiled.

[neptunebeetle]

Htrgnb

[linogram]

i uhh... havent ʷʳᶦᵗᵗᵉⁿ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ since schools been out

[minikawa]

-

[beatcroc]

gimme 17, 18, 19 for whoever(s) you wanna 👀

>Do they have a comfort food? Who makes it best? this is an unfortunate one bc i myself don't quite get the concept of comfort food so its hard to like. think abt/project that forward to other contexts. also the majority of them are like gods or otherwise not biological so they dont eat anyway dsjhfdjg ummm i think spurlocke is probably the only one who would, it'd have to be someone back from his homeworld but i couldn't tell you anything more specific than that. feel like the food situation in nk's domain is probably kind of shite overall on account of the whole 'being a tourist trap you're not supposed to live in for extended periods of time' thing, and also the no sun+life in stasis so nothing can grow there natively thing. its kind of just a whole mess. im getting off topic

amaranth just gets to have really good food all the time bc shes royalty so theres like dedicated royal chefs there or whatever. idk. shes adaptable but i'm sure she misses it if she stays Out And About for awhile, like many things about pangea.

ezekiel hasn't really. associated themself with anyone in that way since their og cohorts died off but they're probably like my only oc who can cook well and i tell you hwat they make a mean soup. bet that would Be someone's comfort food, if anyone knew about it.

>How do they cheer up a friend when they're down? not many of my guys are dedicated as Friends with the others and lot of the real answers here are circumstantial and depend on who's sad and for what reason, but for misc like. gestures of goodwill i guess??

sarah is the type to benevolently annoy you to help distract you from whatever, but also i'd like to believe she has some kind of weird metaphysical knowledge that she's a Cool Animal that has a lot of like, nostalgic charisma so she uses that too, by which i mean "hey kid you wanna ride around on a t-rex? yeah of course you fuckin do lets go"

the prince/lucille is pretty aloof, but i think he’d offer the classic walk n talk. it’s more or less what he does for stress relief alone and he doesn’t mind having someone else with him. i think he also likes stars more than most of my guys, and given the whole 'lack of sun' thing for nk's domain there are always plenty of them out. if you don't want to talk about what’s troubling you can talk about that.

amaranth is generally…not…kind enough to care about ppl like that but i bet she knows a lot of cool and/or weird spots in space to show someone. maybe you can go commit low-stakes crimes together or something [she will not trust u with something actually risky if ur emotionally out of it]. .. ....she does also still like to fuck so like. if that would help. well.

wilddog's options are extremely limited but i think it usually knows the favorite messenger of a given guy so if it suspects someone's Troubled it'll send that specific messenger to 'em.

eris would b like. touches you on the head while rasping heavily. it doesnt help at all but he doesnt really know how to do anything else. those who Are friends with him can probably recognize it as a friendly gesture at least even if it still doesn't really help.

ezekiel again doesnt really associate with anyone in a friends type way so they're definitely not going to be GOOD at anything but they're also not like. heartless. THEORETICALLY i could see them just being the type to like. be Around. see if you need anything. invite a guy in if it's someone they actually trust--their home may be lonely, but it's also warm and peaceful.

... i'm actually kind of shocked i can't think of anything specific for spurlocke since he's supposed to be like, THE friend & homie guy. maybe since he's the main one who's actively Social he doesn't do as well with one-on-one sadness? i suppose most of his actions would be more along the lines of helping to Prevent you from getting down rather than picking you up once you're already there.

>What's a guilty pleasure of theirs?

i drew these a few days ago. in light of recent events. uhhhh nk has a nebulously canon pet rabbit that hes a fucking dweeb about. ...i don't know if i have any that are truly 'guilty' so much as just 'theyd be embarrassed about it'

[hotwings0203]

Hot takes that y’all are gonna hate me for and I’ll prolly lose followers but idc:

-I wouldn’t put it past bakugo to say a slur tbh especially season 1 bakugo. I know a lot of ppl try to negate that but This dude perverted IZUKU MIDORIYA into some fucked up doll slur so I wouldn’t have high hopes that he wouldn’t say any other shit. Like, Pinky? Half and half bastard? Cmon y’all

-iida should NOT be a prominent character anymore, man’s entire worth is based on his stupid brother WHO HE COULDNT EVEN AVENGE, Stain put his ass in the muthafuckin concrete .2 seconds after he got there tryna pick a fight. And then he’s got the audacity to tell Shoto and deku to not bail him out? Gtfo😭

-Shoto had so much potential but he’s such a dumbass I’m sorry. This dude rlly had to be SPOONFED to be told “it’s your own power!!” BRO WHAT ARE YOU 5?? Harness that shit urself goddamn

-I don’t feel bad for ⚠️SPOILER WARNING⚠️ twice’s death. Hawks literally told him “I don’t wanna hurt you so play nice and you can live” but this crazy fuck had to go batshit crazy so OF COURSE hawks had to murk his ass, as he should. Otherwise twice could’ve made like a bazillion shigaraki’s and then the whole plot would’ve been screwed.

-I also love him but i DONT feel bad for Bakugo’s whole mental breakdown that one episode with him and deku. Like how am I supposed to feel guilty about some dude whose just upset he got surpassed? I mean I get it, it’s tough he thinks he’s the reason all might retired but in terms of deku surpassing him? Man grow a pair😭

-although I hate kotaro (shig’s dad) and endeavor, I actually DONT know what else they should’ve done tbh, obviously they shouldn’t have beaten the shit out of their kids but in terms of trying to steer their quirkless or weak kid’s dreams away from fantasies then I don’t rlly how else they should’ve done it. Like for touya, (again I hate endeavor) enji told him MULTIPLE times to give up on the hero thing. But again, it’s still shitty that he raised touya from the start to be a hero. In terms of tenko tho, like apart from kotaro hitting him I don’t think he was wrong in trying to ensure that his heart wouldn’t get broken if he indeed didn’t manifest a quirk

-oh oh and I don’t feel sad that sir nighteye died, mr “four episode flop” had his due time and plus this dude was PLOTTINGGGG on all lights downfall he can suck it💪🏽

-also I fucking HATTTEEEEEE how hawks forgave enji so easily about the whole abuse thing. Man idc if you got mommy daddy issues urself BUT GODDAMN AT LEAST GIVE HIM THE COLD SHOULDER?? At least try and PRETEND like enji was wrong for screwing touya over jfc

-izuocha isn’t a bad ship but I fr wish hori would’ve given them more screentime. Also, Uraraka’s speech abt letting deku stay at UA doesnt rlly count as “character development “, she just did a good thing. Like she didn’t change her personality by making that speech or anything but obv it was still a big deal

Anywayyssss don’t take all of this too seriously it’s just my personal takes lol, feel free to respectfully disagree or give ur own take!!

[unwrittenlibrary]

Saturday Sun I

Summary: it’s the beginning of may. mother’s day has come and gone, with your family trip coming up and things are seemingly falling apart even more. you and harry are forced to come head to head with real issues. (harry x fem!reader)

Word Count: 1.3K (second part will be the longer piece) 

Warnings: Angst. Cheating. Find all in depth warnings in the first two parts. 

Notes: hello, part three is divided into two parts, this first one focusing on some conflict & the second part to it will focus more on family dynamic & light resolution. part of this piece has harry’s pov instead of entirely the readers. 

Part One & Two (along with a companion piece) can be found in my h.s masterlist! 

-

i need to ask her

what’s going on?

are we going strong?

May - Part I

It’s the Monday before your flight.

April had come and April had gone and you were still struggling to focus on anything but your kids and issues with Harry. You suppose that’s okay, your next deadline was months away and with the trip coming up all you could focus on were those things. 

Mother’s Day had slipped your mind completely. You were busy making lists and triple checking flight info to even think of asking the kids and Harry about their plans. 

“How was your weekend? Everything went well?” Dr. Walsh’s voice forces you to look up from the new watch that adorns your wrist. 

You glance at Harry, who waits for you to answer. You shrug. “It was nice… Harry and the kids treated me yesterday.” 

The watch is a beautiful rose gold color and is a thin band compared to the band of your last watch. Your kids initials had been engraved onto the inner band. It was, by all means, a lovely and well thought out gift. Not only replacing the watch you had worn for a decade and had finally snapped, but reminding of the best parts of your life. 

“Tell me about your day!” Dr. Walsh smiles kindly. Her eyes move between you and Harry, polite and u judging, before landing on your wrist.

“I got breakfast, at the table, breakfast in bed is too hectic with three kids and a baby.” You laugh softly, thinking of the kids and their not well hidden excitement for your day. “And they all got me gifts. The twins made clay handprints in school. Seph picked out a new wallet for me and even bought it on her own!” 

It’s impossible to contain your happiness that rolls off of you when you talk about the kids. Bragging about their thoughtfulness and kind gifts makes you almost forget where you are.

“That sounds so lovely.” Dr. Walsh brings you back down. Your eyes move to Harry. His eyes are open and he’s smiling softly as you speak. But his fingers are fidgeting in his lap and you know he had hoped you would be proud of his gift too. 

And you were. But maybe that was the worst part. That it was kind hearted and well thought out and so very Harry that you almost hated it. You hated how one small gift had caused a sliver of hope to crawl into your bloodstream and make your heart race for him again. 

That it made you believe, for one brief moment, all his promises and words about never falling out of love with you and never wanting to let you go. 

“Harry got me a watch too.” You finally say, quiet and full of despair. “Mine snapped a few weeks ago… It has the kids initials in it. It was a good day.” 

Dr. Walsh nods. “It’s a lovely watch.” Her eyes move pointedly from it on your wrist to you. “So what’s wrong?” 

You fiddle with it, twisting it on your wrist and tapping the face anxiously. “It feels tainted.” You steadily avoid looking at Harry as you say the words. Dr. Walsh nods, but doesn’t say anything, silently urging you to continue. “I love it. And that… makes me feel guilty. And it makes me feel dumb because one stupid gift made me forget this bullshit for a second and I just felt that love for him again.”

There’s an intake of breath to your right, but Dr. Walsh doesn’t look at all shocked by your words. “It makes sense. You want to be angry. You have a right to be angry and when something gets in the way of that, you’re unsure of how to feel.” 

You nod. Her words make sense. You did want to be angry and after your brief elation with the gift you found you still were. 

“I am going to feel like this for the rest of my life?” You whisper. 

She shakes her head. “No. One day, this anger will be gone. But… it’s up to you whether or not you can get there with each other. If you can forgive Harry and let go of the anger. Or not. Neither is wrong.” 

You nod. Sometimes these sessions felt like she was strictly talking to you. Harry just listened. Spoke up when you asked him to, or when Dr. Walsh worked on exercises. 

A part of you found that it helped. You were able to say things you may not have ever said to Harry. But sometimes it felt like he was unsure if he should try and that made you angrier. 

-

Harry’s hopes are built up and shattered. It’s his own fault, he knows it is. Knows that this was an easily fixable marriage before he fucked up. 

You’ve talked about the cheating a little in therapy. Dr. Walsh has mentioned it, you’ve let your anger out, Harry has apologized. It’s a cycle that seems never ending. He doesn’t know what to do. All he wants so desperately is to fucking fix it. 

But...

The drive has been silent. You stare out the window at cars and buildings that pass. There are bags in the truck rustling around, a last minute stop for last minute items needed for the trip. 

You had been silent in the store too. Quietly checking off your list as Harry pushed the cart behind you. Had his gift upset you this much? You still loving him made you this angry? 

“I… I don’t know what to do.” Harry finally says, forcing his voice to cut through the silence. You startle and turn to look at him. “Tell me what to do.” He pleads. 

He knows you can hear the desperation in his voice. Whether or not you were angry at him, you knew him, you knew his tells and his emotions. 

“What do you want me to say, H?” Your voice is a whisper but still harsh. “I don’t know! I don’t know what you can do! Build a time machine. Don’t cheat on me.” 

“It feels like we’re going in circles.” Harry tries to keep his calm. He wants to keep the anxiety and hurt out of his voice. “Like, you’re angry then you see this chance and there’s hope, then there’s anger again.” 

You scoff. “I’m sorry my pain isn’t linear enough for you! I’m sorry that sometimes I see glimpses of you and I’m reminded of us ten years ago, so in love and oblivious to the outside world. Sorry that it all comes crashing down when I remember that you fucking cheated on me!” 

Harry sighs and his grip on the steering wheel tightens. “I fucked up so bad. I know. I know. God, what can I do? Anything.” 

“Why did you do it?” You ask instead of answering. There’s a coldness in your words and Harry’s aware you’re both trapped in the car for another twenty minutes. So are you, apparently. “And don’t give me the same bullshit about being selfish and not knowing why and it being a mistake.” 

Harry feels desperation claw at his throat and tears burning in the corner of his eyes. It’s like he can’t breathe, trapped in a coffin of your anger and his guilt. He tries to keep his eyes focused on the road as he talks. “I… I felt wanted. I liked the attention.” 

There’s a sharp intake of breath, but Harry keeps his face forward and eyes focused. “Tell me what happened.” 

“Y/N…” Harry trails off. “I… I can’t.”

You groan and fall forward with your head in your hands. “I need to know, H. I don’t… I just need to know because all I can think about is these what if situations and scenarios in my head. And I’ll just keep running through them until I hate you.”

Harry bites down on his lip and spares a glance at you. “What if… What if I tell you and you hate me anyways?” The question is unfair. He knows it is. But he can’t fathom a world without you in it. A world where he sees you on drop off days and has to plan separate holidays. 

“I don’t know.” You say quietly. But, it feels like answer enough. There’s no reason for you not to leave. 

And Harry guesses a promise to try was never really a promise to stay. 

-

notes: thank you for the patience! i understand this piece is short, this part has been a lil tricky and i wanted to get the first part to may out before summer courses begun. i’m hoping i’m able to continue writing through them, but i will warn readers i am enrolled in two of the three week classes that have a lot of work and move quickly. so patience will be appreciated. i hope everyone is safe & healthy and has a wonderful end of school/university/spring! and congratulations to all the grads these next two months. i’m planning on ending this series with a total of five parts (march, april, may, june, july) w/ two endings.

tags (im tagging a couple ppl who messaged me awhile ago (after the last part), if u dont wanna be tagged anymore let me know! sorry!@alwaysclassyeagle @yourgoldengirls

if u wanna be tagged just message me & let me know if u want it for just this series or for all my h writing! ❤️

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.

Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.

Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.

If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.

In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.

It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.

Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.

It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.

Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.

I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.

And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.

This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.

As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.

And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.

My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.

And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.

So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.

I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.

To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.

Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...

We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.

[autisticandroids]

bro, u and ur anons keep talking about cas being "complicit" in his abuse by being too afraid and beaten down to even slightly disagree with dean, and how he just needs to start standing up for himself?

and while its true that cas pushing dean around even a little bit would fix a lot of their relationship problems, phrasing it that way just seems... idk... supremely victim blame-y to me. like, the responsibility is somehow on cas to sort through his own trauma enough to gain an unbiased view of the situation, while he is still actively in the abusive situation that caused that very same trauma in the first place, and then risk (in his mind) the only meaningful relationship he has left by pushing dean away enough to set boundaries? as opposed to it being dean's responsibility not to treat people like disobedient pets? dean of course has his own issues that make it hard for him to see things clearly, to put it mildly, but cmon, these are not even remotely the same caliber lol.

furthermore, i know having someone else come along and say "he doesn't love u! he wouldnt mourn u if u died! dump him!" helps a lot of ppl wake up to abuse, but in cas's case, my gut instinct says that would make it a thousand times worse?? bc, on some level, cas already believes that, and that's part of the problem??? obviously the whole suicide fantasy thing can be damaging to fans, but even if cas himself has that fantasy, i doubt he genuinely thinks that's what's going to happen when he dies. im sure he WANTS dean to mourn him like a widow, but he fully expects dean to move on and even be happier (in the long run) once cas is gone, which is part of why he’s sacrificing himself in the first place.

it's shitty of the showrunners to craft this narrative in the first place, but i dont think it is inherently worse for the fantasy to be fulfilled than not... either way, it's rewarding/justifying cas's decision, unless cas stays dead AND dean is miserable, and they really lean into it being a Tragic Ending. even fics that try to avoid this problem often just make things worse bc ive seen multiple fics that bring cas back just to have dean punish him further, with no self-awareness on dean's part. like, the man is so miserable with guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that he kills himself, and u (dean/fanfic authors, not mx. androids) think the appropriate way to respond to that is to make him feel guilty and selfish and weak for turning to suicide??? wtf??? truly NO ONE wins in the game of supernatural

anyway im genuinely not trying to do a callout post here or anything, im positive none of yall meant it in that way, i just wanna know more about ur perspective on this. no pressure to respond if u dont want tho. (also i know im talking abt fictional boys like theyre real ppl with thoughts and feelings but this show simply isnt interesting to me otherwise, love & light xoxo)

i have never referred to cas as complicit in his own abuse. i have referred to him as complicit in dean's abuse of jack, as well as potentially complicit in dean's abuse of sam. he's also complicit in a bunch of other terrible things dean has done to other people or induced him to do to other people.

i have discussed the way that cas gets used to being abused and makes a home there, to the extent that even when he has opportunities to improve his situation he stays in his little corner because he really doesn't understand how to get out (not has he ever experienced anything really all that different) but while that's his choice it's not really his fault in the same way. it's tragic, he isn't to blame.

re: the suicide thing i was mostly being snarky and pissed off, throwing spaghetti at the wall. you are right, there is no good answer. no one wins supernatural.