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When people ask you to knit a sweater for them not realizing that they’re basically asking you for the knitting equivalent of a fucking engagement ring

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me in five years when i still don’t have my life together:

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Often I wish I could do drawing or animation as fanart. All I can do is write and make silly little guys out of felt. Behold, the silly little guys!

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nosferatu (2024) is so fucking funny. they did this joke twice

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This one gave me a full belly laugh

Like how did we get here?

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I’m afraid that when I say “my butch,” people, especially straight people, are hearing “my daddy.” That’s fine for many. But when I say “my butch”, what I mean is:

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Do you prefer your potions with or without pulp?

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i'm sorry i wiggled your skinny boyfriend like a sheet of metal. weeop womp weeoop womp weeeoop womp

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I love how these are from an Unreality subreddit but to my eye they just read like regular Tumblr shitposts. Did we cross-pollinate or something

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thats what rebels say

the aesthetic of maga goofs is so dang weird. they see themselves as anti-establishment 'dont tread on me' folks but now theyre all 'THE MAINSTREAM GOVERNMENT IS SO COOL I LOVE AUTHORITY' so weird seeing these people who liked to pretend they were rebels making big government their whole personality

maybe weird is the wrong word because well OF COURSE this is what they do, they dont actually mean any of the things they say so there is no point in even mentioning hypocracy, but its just astonishing to watch folks be like 'IM A REBEL OUTSIDER AND THE PRESIDENT IS COOL AS HECK'

a goof like kid rock is actually going to be trying to tell folks for the next four years 'yeah im a BAD ASS REBEL who says HECK OFF to EVERYONE and ALSO the PRESIDENT is SO COOL and so are CONSERVATIVE SENATORS WITH AUTHORITARIAN POLICIES thats what rebels say'

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i think some of you dont like narratives or stories or characters i think you just like fanfiction tropes

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platonic third base: when you get to know someone well enough that they start making mortifyingly specific observations about you

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youll be able to find books and movies and music that change your life until the day you die. that's pretty good