#but like how to do all tht without hurting the ppl in already committed to

[banglatown]

21 tips i’ve learned in my 21 years for relationships

MAKE! YOUR! INTENTIONS! CLEAR! if you do not want a committed long-term relationship, pls make it known, your wants and needs are valid, do not feel pressured into a commitment you are not ready for, if they respect you, they will understand.. not to mention; you can always change your mind, just remember to communicate!

do not just assume someone is your significant other .. use your words and TALK TO THEM .. other human beings do not exist for you to project onto them, if you’d like them to be your significant other, ask .. they might just say yes lol

less serious .. but if anyone ever asks you to turn on your location for them on snapchat ... don’t . just don’t . trust me that it is an unhealthy tool to utilise .. on either side .. snap is creepy and will let the person who has your location on know what you’re doing at tht exact time .. honestly 🚩 the moment they ask but if you want more of an explanation, it will let them know if you’re asleep... if you’re listening to music.. if it’s raining where you are... if you’re driving.. if you’re on a bus.. and of c the last one, when you were last active 🙃 just don’t, okay

for god’s sake, if you buy your significant other something, that’s great, cool, fine, don’t constantly bring it up over and over again .. whether it’s how hard you worked to get it, how much trouble you went through to get it, or how expensive it was... no, just stop .. don’t .. it’s so crass .. and i promise you, they’ll probz never want you to buy them anything ever again .. so .. just give the present and Go

IF they make apparent to you that valentine’s day is something they want to celebrate... I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABT WHAT COMMERCIALISED HOLIDAY DO RE MI FAH SO LA LA LA .. you fucking participate.. if they mention valentine’s day more than TWICE .. they rly want you to at the very least acknowledge valentine’s day w them .. don’t be that ‘valentine’s day is a commercial jssuejjejwksjd-’ prick, no, friendly reminder that this is why no one likes you .. if you feel tht the person you love wants you to acknowledge hearts day w them .. just do it fgs ..

no. 1 cuntiest thing you can do is to assume someone has free time, no, no they do not, if you’re going to assume anything, assume that they’re busy, at least this way you’ll come across as being courteous when asking them whatever it is you want them to engage in whether it's a phone call or wanting to go out w them, do not think you are entitled to someone else's time

don’t fall for potential .. some ppl just don’t change .. ik some ppl can’t handle hearing tht but i’m sorry darling we don’t live in a fairytale world where ppl w toxic tendencies drop them as soon as they see your face, we live in this one and it’s not your place to try and fix them

nip things in the bud, ppl make mistakes as we are all human and therefore intrinsically flawed but if any foul play ever takes place nip it THERE AND THEN ..

sometimes ppl need their space, different ppl cope w hurt in different ways so if you ever do upset the person you love, don’t just expect them to accept your apology the moment you feel bad and say sorry ... when apologising to someone you need to give them their own time to process

this ones for my muslims, if a significant other ... EVER ... tells you to cover your hair .. x them out of your life ... nope nope nope .. your relationship w god is PERSONAL .. and the very fact that some ppl think it’s appropriate to go abt telling ppl to ‘cover their hair’ is fucking ridiculous.. they’ve very clearly over estimated their own importance in this situation, they’re not shit .. you don’t need someone like tht i promise

i’m a firm believer of how a person treats their friends shows a lot of their character .. if they without any ounce of irony say the sentence “i hate all my friends” ... do not get involved w them, they’re bad news, trust me, if they can’t be nice to the ppl they call friends, sweetheart what makes you think they’ll be different towards you?

this one’s for my desis .. pls do some form of a bg check on their family ,,, PLEASE .. if you’re desi yk .. if not idk .. good for you innit 

but speaking of families .. this sounds peculiar but ask abt their relationship w their relatives .. don’t just assume tht just bc you get on well w your familials, tht they will too, ask them abt their family, don’t be overbearing abt it .. but ask cordially

i was debating on whether i should include this or not but some of you completely lack human decency so i suppose i have to .. for the love of all that is fucking holy, if someone ever asks you the question “did you miss me?” SAY YES .. FOR GOD’S SAKE .. you don’t need to get into the semantics of ‘well, i didn’t have time’ 🚫 ‘well do you want me to lie’🚫 or whatever else you heartless cowards say ... simply, say “yes, i did” it’s something so small but it can make someone so fucking happy

listen, rly fucking listen, don’t listen w the intent of saying whatever you want to say, rly take in what tht person is saying to you and anyway “when you talk you repeat what you already know, when you listen you might learn something new”

in a similar vein, don’t assume that just bc someone is complaining or venting or ranting to you tht they want your advice ... they don’t .. the only time they want advice is .. shock horror .. when they ask for it .. sometimes ppl just want to rant, let them, be a safe space

idk why the whole ‘arguments are normal’ thing .. is a thing .. bc it’s not and i feel as though it’s as a result of such thinking that many ppl stay w ppl who just aren’t right for them bc ‘arguments are normal’ but .. newsflash .. they’re rly fucking not, i promise you, yes, where there is more than one person, disagreements are BOUND to arise, but arguments? full fledge shouting matches? .. where the both of you are intentionally trying to hurt each other, no . this is not normal, an argument is serious and should be dealt as such, do not start an argument for no reason, idk why being ✨toxic✨ is a thing .. you are dealing w a real person w real emotions ..

love is mutual generosity, you CANNOT afford to be selfish, the moment you become selfish you will hurt the other person, for the sake of god rmbr you do not own the other person, so pls don’t treat them like they’re property .. it’s not a nice feeling .. i only say all this to bring up, another human being’s BODILY AUTONOMY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ... you either get it or you don’t

REPEAT AFTER ME! anyone who tries to dull your sparkle instead of enhancing it IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!

pls don’t take this the wrong way but .. try to avoid ppl who are insecure as fuck.. insecure ppl will suck the living light out of you ... ik ik i sound mean but you’ll thank me for it later .. sweetheart, ik, they’ve gone through tough times and they’ve somehow managed to make you feel like ~yOu’Re gOiNg tO bE tHe oNe tHt sAvEs tHem~ but no .. baby, therapists make good money, don’t do that shit for free, not to mention; oh they will be cruel to you :) -10/10 do not recommend

last but not least, do not bother pursuing a relationship w someone who has completely different morals to you .. by tht i mean if you’re a feminist and they’re the type of person who slut-shames women for breathing ... yk, as the adage goes “when someone shows you who they are, believe them”