#i just feel like my world is kinda small | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bunnieswithknives · 4 months ago

Text

Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.

#fop nature au #fop #fairly oddparents #fop a new wish #fairly oddparents a new wish #dev dimmadome #fop dev #dale dimmadome #emetophobia #art #digital art #fanart #comic #Sorry for taking so long on this I was procrastinating bcs its just kinda a context page that needs to exist for other stuff to happen #I love it when they interact like disgruntled roommates #like on one had he SHOT HIM on the other hand whats Dev supposed to do? Go no contact?? Hes ten #This takes place like 2 days after the deer attack #Dale got whisked away to fairy world to get speed healed and had his memory wiped of the whole thing #Devs relationship with his dad is so messy cause like yes his dad hurt him but also thats his dad and he loves him.#even if his dad doesnt love him back #He wants to Want To Hurt his dad. thats the right way to feel about after what he did. and he does feel that way sometimes.#but on some level its was kind of a relief to hear that he couldnt wish harm on people #because even if he could he isnt sure he could go through with it #and there would be nothing worse than having the power to do something and yet. not #sorry if that sounds insane #complicated relationships with your abuser my beloved #also just the quiet acceptance Dev has for (what he thinks is) Peri straight up lying to his face #Dev likes Peri a lot but he is also deeply aware that Peri hides a lot of things from him #I think he appreciates that Peri tries to shield his feelings. His dad doesnt do that #ofc Peri isnt actually lying here I just think the layers of such a small interaction are hilarious

758 notes · View notes

fraternum-momentum · 7 months ago

Text

apartment hunting lead me to a job interview tomorrow, wish me luck 🙏😭

#it just happened out of the blue??? so basically the gist of it was that i was handing documents on behalf of my mom and one of the people #in the office just went 'u can work for us here'#and i went huh?!?!?!?!!? but i mean hey why not. it's a great opportunity #might hold off on uni if i do get this job (which i hope i do augh please 🙏🙏😭😭😭)#aparently one who offered me the job was a recruiter so that explains it #i feel so nervous tho i mean it wont be the end of the world if i dont get it but i just hope i dont mess it up #i alr met the person whos gonna interview me he seems like a great dude too im just super fucking anxious aughhvghnhgv #that's it for the small update i swear more art soon a lot has been happening lately so yk its kinda hard to find time to finish things #frambling...?

71 notes · View notes

aroaessidhe · 9 months ago

Text

2024 reads / storygraph

Those Beyond The Wall

sequel/companion to The Space Between Worlds, set a decade later

character-focused sci-fi set in an area divided in two, the rich protected city on one side and everyone else in the post-apocalyptic desert

follows a woman who works under the Emperor in Ashtown, keeping the peace

when mangled bodies start showing up with seemingly no murderer, she’s tasked with finding the cause, and finds out that it’s the result of corruption spanning both cities and multiple worlds

explores oppression and messy revolution, police violence and apartheid

bi & polyamorous MC

#Those Beyond The Wall #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #space between worlds sequel!!! honestly I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it….. In general I enjoyed it and I think it had #a lot of important things to say but also maybe highlighted some weaknesses(?) in both books?#or - I guess just the fact that the sff stuff (which skews a little more magicy here) is kinda small scope relative to its potential #and more there to serve the plot and characters. Which actually maybe is the point. idk- there's def mixed reviews lol #it has a messy unlikable MC (like actually - when half the weak ass reviews are saying the MC is annoying you know they are Actually a #complex character) and some interesting relationship dynamics #it is pretty solidly a sequel - I wouldnt read this without reading TSBW #cara does show up in here& tbh her characterisation felt quite different to me? unsure how I feel about that? but maybe it's the biased POV #also to be clear: polyam MC; not a polyam romance or anything #(there's - kinda a romance? or various feelings floating around and she 'ends up' with someone. feel like i would have liked that to end #more subtley but that's probably my personal taste lol)#man some of the 1 star reviews of this are kinda.....just racist though. can we get some measured critique in here #as I said i am not entirely sure how I feel about it but not quite in a way I can articulate.... idk! i think it's worth the read tho #it's maybe one of those revolutions that feels solved a little too easily in the end - but then also is it solved or is it just that the #narrative has to end at a certain point

61 notes · View notes

puppyeared · 9 months ago

Text

Atla live action 😐

#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid #like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat #or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already #good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive #to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil #i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better #but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because #it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak #and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but #come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and #makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality #i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was #IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall #AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think #plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS #a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason #im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your #audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small #thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small #its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers #i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang #anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and #rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz #netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub #no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same #ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me #i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing #yapping

48 notes · View notes

pleasedontcareaboutme · 4 months ago

Text

I want to be more authentic on my other social media platforms too, where irl people know me.

But I have such an intense fear of being perceived I sit. For 3 hours. On a post before posting it 😭😭 I literally just stare at it and have an anxiety attack lol.

And even then sometimes I end up deleting it.

Even though I only do it for myself and nobody really cares it's still ajajaja hard.

But I want people to see me more than a shallow human lol

And maybe, even if only one person likes my "true" self, then I'd be happy 🥲

But what if they bully me more ahhah I already am not the most well liked 🥲🥲🥲🥲

THOUGHTS GO AWAY lol 😭

#I want to be loved kinda #but I feel like if I keep hiding how I feel around people I will never be able to truly connect to anyone #I know. That I could open up to people irl better.#But I don't really have people that I trust that much surrounding me #So that's why even posting as small as a quote or a music on my instagram is a huge things for me #Bc maybe someone who previously found me uninteresting could idk become interested? If they see I'm also a human lol 😭#Idk this doesn't make sense but I struggled with this since I was a kid and finally I have a desire to change #I have a desire to be seen kinda ahhaah #I have a weird story but actually one time as a kid I almost choked because I didn't one to bother my mom??? I didn't want her to help me #bc I felt guilty????#And this pattern of feeling like a burden follows me like my own shadow ahaha #but I... kinda want to feel like a burden sometimes to be honest #I just wish to leave a mark in the world in one way or another #idk I wish people could remember me for my soul and not my looks and face ahaha yes idk #it's 6 am actually!! finally stayed awake ahaha.

13 notes · View notes

reminiscentrainclouds · 1 month ago

Text

You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.

#*text #talk about unpleasant #sorry for only posting textposts here lately. I Forgot how I use this blog.#Also I'm gonna use this as an excuse to vent in the tags about something that's been bothering me today.#I hate days where it feels like I can't be the same person for even. idk. an hour?#I was gonna say just a general statement of 'I hate how I can't feel like the same person for more than an hour' but then I realized it onl #particularly bothered me today so maybe it's just a sometimes thing. throws hands up in the air I WOUDLN'T KNOW #It's just...nothing I do throughout the day matches. i keep starting new things only to forget about them (or forget how much I cared #about them) and try something else later. resulting in a long line of unfinished stuff and frustration.#I keep trying to come up with new conclusions/solutions to problems I've run through my head a million times already.#problems I didn't know I had or forgot about pop up etc.#I'll be doing fine and then I'll just feel stranded out of nowhere with no idea why and trying to figure out if this is normal for me.#I've felt stranded all day.#it's just ugh. i'm so confused. it's been a day i guess.#all the words i write feel kinda foreign to me sometimes. short term memory problems I guess. ��️#but also I feel very very locked in a really limited worldview. or just like. my world feels very small like tunnel vision kind of thing an #for that reason it just feels like it'll go on the same forever and ever and ever. which is a very scary thought.#idk if my logical 'well that obviously isn't the case. things will change eventually' rebuttal is good enough to go against it.#so there you go I wrapped it all back to the point of the post: feeling trapped. yayyy #i don't mean to make myself sound so sad and pitiful. usually i'm doing fine and bad things kinda just don't register in my brain #but there are Secret Evil Feelings inside me that I don't even know about and sometimes I like to poke them with a stick.

3 notes · View notes

ectoplasmer · 11 months ago

Text

I did not think reading about jade wanting a family would hurt me this bad but god. it hurts. it hurts sosososo much

#dude :( dudeeeee #picture perfect wizardry #upd8 #i sobbed unironically at the panels with her and baby yiffy #and just. reading jade’s thoughts on how the actual situation went down #how she felt so trapped within earth c and how dating was so hard #how no body there even sees her as a person but only as her title #how she wanted so badly to live and be free and not stuck where she was. how yiffy was what made her world better #THE PANELS OF HER HOLDING YIFFY. i cried. i sobbed #my wifeee :(((( she deserves to feel loved and to have something that makes her feel like she actually has a future #it’s kinda messed up the way she and rose went about it yes definitely #but. god. i feel for her #she’s lived nearly her whole life all alone or feeling out of place. she shouldn’t have to feel like that for forever #she was treated so bad in the epilogues man i am so happy to see her decisions get actual development and attention #she loves her daughter so much and you can just tell and. wagh. head in hands #anyway. yiffy !!!!!! so happy to see her #a little sad how small of time we got with her but obviously we’ll probably get more in the future #also meenah next update ?? maybe hopefully possibly…….#i’m being normal about this series. lying. big lie #delete later

8 notes · View notes

moe-broey · 5 months ago

Text

Thinking of her......................

#plush tag #i found Images. if you can't win crane game google images is just fine.#i'm in love w this one in particular though... her power.#although still not Exactly what i have in mind for the bodies of my plushes. since my askr sibs are so small #and made of felt mostly so far. i feel like they're for show. their purpose is to be So Cutes #maybe for taking pics and stuff. i have the idea of having them be button jointed. in a perfect world #i would LOVE. for them to be able to stand and sit without much support if any at all #but their heads might be too heavy. i also just don't know/kinda doubt i have the right material...#like. i feel like you need material that's stiff. sturdy. which i have some of. but also they're PLUSHIES...#which goes back to them just being for show but i would still like a little softeness to them...#idk idk i woke up WAY too early today. for no fucking reason. and i am rotating them in my head.

4 notes · View notes

bowtiestash · 6 months ago

Text

one of the things i find funny now with my past shitty dnd experience is the fact that the problem player only seemed to really care about their own character, and whenever they drew dnd art it would look like this:

#theres a lot of things i find funny whenever i think back on it #its fun to clown on them even tho back then i had so much grief #i dont really like to reminisce on the shitty things that happened but its fun to laugh at how stupid it was #i AM kinda dunkin on their art but its bc they were like 'OGHH I LOVE ALL THE CHARACTERS' but then showed close to no interest in other pcs #they literally treated it like their character was the Main Character and was the center of the world #it was very reflective in their art.#other things i find funny: how they obviously cheated their rolls #they averaged ... 18 i think?#meanwhile the second highest was 15 and everyone else was within 2 points lower of that #and also their infamous '...for what exactly?' question when they questioned me 'getting in the way' of their rp #even tho i was rping my character and having them stop their pc from doin things due to clash of motives #also. i was a text rper. LMAO #ITS JUST SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE WDYM 'FOR WHAT EXACTLY' LMFAOAOAOAOOO THEYRE THEIR OWN PERSON WITH THEIR OWN MOTIVES.#skypeaks #im so glad i dont feel shitty abt it anymore. its just so fucking stupid #like yeah it affected me but now im WELL past the point of being mad abt it its just. Funny.#on that note tho i hope that whomever this person has hurt can heal as well. bc im sure those other people have had to deal with WORSE imo #i think all things considered i didnt have it that bad. i just had a small taste of their shitty behavior #EDIT: i might make more small doodles with this experience. its just funny to recall so who knows

3 notes · View notes

reflectionsofgalaxies · 4 months ago

Text

coping with things so well today so i’m bragging about it ✨

#had a SMALL emotional reaction to something but then like breathed through it and was very normal #and then something that might’ve made me feel kinda alone and insecure a year or two ago #actually just made me feel happy which is a MUCH preferable reaction #and one that matches the reaction in my head #my emotions are not me #they tell me things but they’re only a piece of the puzzle and I can still decide how I process things beyond the immediate emotions #also did a bunch more organizing of my stuff for packing #and wrote things in my planner for the first few weeks of school #I already have several plans and events!!!!#and instead of pushing someone away I suggested some plans a few months away #bc that gives both of us kinda a sense of security in the friendship?#they’re worried about losing me with me going back to school #and I’m worried about losing them bc they have kinda a major obsession w/ someone else rn #(which is pretty cute when my brain isn’t being an insecure dick)#so this makes us both be like ‘even if things change we still have plans and our friendship will withstand those changes’#anyway gonna get ready to go walk up a big hill for fresh air #today has been a good day overall #OH AND ANOTHER FRIEND DROPPED BY OUT OF THE BLUE #AND GAVE ME A HAND SEWN EMBROIDERED CHARM FOR BACK-TO-SCHOOL!!!!#and a little card about how they’re proud of me and will be there for me on this journey!#god now I’m gonna cry #I have the most amazing friends in the whole freakin world #personal

2 notes · View notes

youareinlove · 9 months ago

Text

my best friend just talked to me about wanting to set me up with someone and it felt. interesting.

#like i said no. i'm not going out with him #but it's weird to be thinking about going out with someone that isn't my ex #good weird? maybe?#idk just like the idea of it #like in some (very small) ways it feels like my world is opening up a little again #and even if i'm not going out with this guy i could go out with a guy at some point #and that definitely feels really weird #but also kinda freeing in a way #.txtpost #personal

5 notes · View notes

dandelioncore · 2 years ago

Text

Does anyone else sometimes just remember space exists and become filled with joy and awe

Like. I woke up and it was still dark outside, went back to sleep and now half an hour later it's bright day

In that half hour where I slept, the gigantic orb we all live on traveled a gigantic distance around an unfathomably large ball of flame that's existed for longer than the entire planet and the orb just so happend to spin around and I get to feel it's warmth.

And that's not to mention the uncountable other stars that we tell our stories in, and have looked to for guidance for millennia.

#mine #space #-> they are filled with wonder at the magical set of coincidence and chance that led to their existence #even when it sucks #i know it makes some people feel small and i guess it kinda does to me to but in a comforting way #like. yes things fucking suck a lot of the time and im a pretty lucky human to be born where and when i was - but space is always out there #always just dark and big and unknowable #and that makes me feel not so bad - because it always will be!#makes my problems feel that much more manageable because no matter how bad i personally fuck up #it wont /actually/ be the end of the world. things go on!

10 notes · View notes

thelastspeecher · 2 years ago

Text

honestly with watching the Kingdom Hearts III cut scenes all at once I have been doing some skipping around bc ten hours is a LOT

and I am v consistently skipping the Maleficent scenes. girl, you haven't been relevant since the first game, just give up.

#I also skipped almost all of the Frozen world bc damn it was boring af #I really enjoyed the Tangled and Toy Story worlds #and I fucking LOVED Sora's monster form holy shit he was so goofy and adorable #(I did realize that of the main plot worlds the only one based on a cartoon was Olympus #and....that makes me feel a bit weird in a way I can't quite articulate)#(also the worlds based on CGI animation look SO MUCH like the movies they're based on #and it wigs me out just a bit #like Rapunzel looks SO CLOSE to how she is in the movie but they fuck up on the hair a tad #which makes sense bc they had to do serious computer magic to animate her hair in the movie #but anyways the worlds based on cartoon or live action look accurate but not like almost SPOT ON as the CGI ones #and idk it just is strange bc I feel like I'm watching the movie but then there's a small something that makes me realize I'm not #....also there isn't a giant talking duck in Frozen. but maybe there should be.)#oh and the biggest development of watching KH3 cut scenes #......I kinda ship Soriku now?#I don't really ship much of anyone in Kingdom Hearts #(except maybe Isa and Lea)#but I def wasn't a Soriku fan #now....I might be changing my mind #idk some of their interactions are v ''hmm interesting'' to me #speecher speaks #(yes I am putting most of my thoughts in the tags I didn't want to put it all in the post proper #leave me alone IT IS MY BLOG and also I'm kinda sick so be nice to me)

7 notes · View notes

aroaessidhe · 1 year ago

Text

2023 reads // twitter thread

Zombabe

paranormal YA set in a small town in 2003 where weird things happen that mostly get ignored

a boy is resurrected by his best friend after dying just before graduation. but he’s maybe a zombie now and if he ignores his hunger for flesh an ancient evil might start causing bigger problems

thankfully one of his friends’ aunt is a cop who has no problem helping get rid of some of the local nazis

queer teen friend group, m/m

#zombabe #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #i.s. belle #lgbtq books #i loved this!!!!!!#the like. 3rd person omniscient (i think) in a modern (ish) setting works really well actually?#and its one of those books that has little snippets of various side characters yknow what i mean.#it’s kinda slow building up until the end when it happens very fast #i have no idea where the next books will go????#I also really liked that like. while obv there's homophobia in the world (& the aforementioned nazis very much bully them up for being gay)#there's not any internalised homophobia or anything like that. and like even tho the nazis like threaten to kill them I guess-#you never feel like the actual threat and danger of it from the narrative. you know the bigots are just gonna die lol #is my intense fixation on wanting to bite my best friend a zombie thing or is it just the gay yearning i’ve been trying to ignore #I already made a post about this but tentatively comping to in the flesh.....zombies....slightly anachronistic small town people who #turn a blind eye to stuff..dark with a bit of humor...kind hearted quiet blonde gay boy MC....#I will say that ITF is a lot heavier re: mental health and like systemic oppression and stuff #(.....because I just rewatched it again. prompted by reading this book)#I will also note that; while I don’t think this is reskinned fanfic; the author used to write a lot of It movie fic #so if ur into that you might like this apparently it has similar vibes #nz author

15 notes · View notes

tamaharu · 1 year ago

Text

a sumi haircut variation ive been testing out. i wanna say its a bit post-canon, not too far off, maybe a year or so. hasnt quite figured out what to do with herself yet, but shes getting there. only a little ways away from graduation.

#the clock chimes at midnight #selk.art #okay because im going stir crazy in my beautiful mind here. i forgot where everyone in the royal ending went so ive just kinda been doing a #post canon au based entirely arnd sumire and the only person whos really gone is ren. the others are in school and stuff still lol #ANYWAYS she and ren start dating a few weeks before 2/3 and after they restore the world its a very tumultuous start considering ren #immediately gets sent to jail. even after he gets out theyre both grieving akechi + it feels like theyre just going through the motions.#everyones like omg we could tell this was gonna happen! and it makes them uncomfortable for reasons they cant articulate #ren is using sumire to get over akechi + sumire is modeling rens identity + both see akechi in the other and are sad abt it #on top of all that they get into a huge fight when sumire learns rens leaving in like. a month. and she didnt know.#(he genuinely didnt realize she didnt know but gets bitchy in return)#they try to make it work long distance for a month/two but eventually mutually breakup (both a little bitter but agree to remain friends)#overall its a cute relationship with um . very odd undertones.#anyways she still wears her hair straight up or straight down during all that point. HAHAHA remember this is abt hair!#after ren leaves she latches onto ann + ryuji who are still going to school w her. and after the breakup simply bc #ryuji is a Boy and sumire is a Girl and They Enjoy Being Around Each Other they both reflexively think abt getting together #sumire starts to imitate him (bc for some weird reason she keeps wanting to be like boys!) and ryuji is like am i breaking bro code rn..#nothing ever happens bc neither actually wants to date the other and ann is always hanging around but its an odd time for everyone #she bleaches the tips of her hair for a little bit but its so small when she gets it chopped off its like nothing happened lol #this is probably around third year when ann/ryuji have graduated and the only thief around is futaba.#and. please nobody kill me for this. i think the two have interesting thematic similarities but the ship between them has always felt like #pairing the same-age spares to me. and i havent read anything thats convinced me of its full potential yet.#that to say i think theyre friendly but not super close. so sumire has to learn to just. exist by herself for the first time in years.#like i said this is probably when this actual haircut starts getting used. shes figuring it out!#after she graduates shes the first one to find akechi again and theyre both doing a lot better and become very close.#they move in together! platonically! unless...? but thats not the point! akechi helps her realize shes transmasc at which point she gets a #real short haircut. i cant decide. theres one thats like a curly haired bob almost and one thats shorter + looks kinda windswept #and thats all the haircut hcs i have for her postcanon timeline! spreads hands jazz hands. not all the timeline hcs but my thumbs r tired.

2 notes · View notes

galaxseacreature · 1 year ago

Text

Weird fucking end of the day, y'all!

I've got a progress pride flag pin and a little round ace pride flag pin on my backpack. The progress pin has been there long term but even the ace pin has been on there for probably a year now. I've gotten exactly one chill "hey me too!" in that whole time (nice!)

So ofc it's the day I'm drop dead tired, I'm talking brain absolutely fried, need to get home asap, lay on the floor, and recalibrate type of bone tired. Ofc THIS is the day a coworker I'm walking out of the building with decides to ask what the ace pin is

#It's chill overall but it was kind of awkward and I just feel kinda weird #I'm weird about it much of the time tbh but especially with my brain whirring along at dial up speed from the world's longest Tuesday #So idk. I guess I sort of came out to 2 coworkers today #The first big test of my ''I'll share if asked/directly relevant'' philosophy given being ace is almost never directly relevant or obvious #No one was bad about it I just said it was an ace/ asexuality pride pin #(I have trained myself to say the full word for better comprehension. but not well enough that i don't still say ace first every time lol)#Got a ''oh I don't think I've seen that one before''#And I said something lame like ''yeah its not as commonly known''#Awkward beat. No direct follow up. Felt like maybe I should elaborate but not sure about what really #Could have explicitly said I was ace I guess. Probably that was the move. In hindsight and all. definitely the move!#I bet people are more likely to understand a direct coming out social script than a nominally-small-talk-about-pride-flags one #Not that I really know what I want someone to say when I come out either. Just....acknowledgement? something not mean?#Idk it just felt awkward all around. Vaguely weird. Not actually bad really. Just. Threw me off balance.#the literal end of dayness of it all too. timing really is everything in this life i swear #So that was my Tuesday afternoon!

4 notes · View notes