#I have a desire to be seen kinda ahhaah | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pleasedontcareaboutme · 5 months ago

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I want to be more authentic on my other social media platforms too, where irl people know me.

But I have such an intense fear of being perceived I sit. For 3 hours. On a post before posting it 😭😭 I literally just stare at it and have an anxiety attack lol.

And even then sometimes I end up deleting it.

Even though I only do it for myself and nobody really cares it's still ajajaja hard.

But I want people to see me more than a shallow human lol

And maybe, even if only one person likes my "true" self, then I'd be happy 🥲

But what if they bully me more ahhah I already am not the most well liked 🥲🥲🥲🥲

THOUGHTS GO AWAY lol 😭

#I want to be loved kinda #but I feel like if I keep hiding how I feel around people I will never be able to truly connect to anyone #I know. That I could open up to people irl better.#But I don't really have people that I trust that much surrounding me #So that's why even posting as small as a quote or a music on my instagram is a huge things for me #Bc maybe someone who previously found me uninteresting could idk become interested? If they see I'm also a human lol 😭#Idk this doesn't make sense but I struggled with this since I was a kid and finally I have a desire to change #I have a desire to be seen kinda ahhaah #I have a weird story but actually one time as a kid I almost choked because I didn't one to bother my mom??? I didn't want her to help me #bc I felt guilty????#And this pattern of feeling like a burden follows me like my own shadow ahaha #but I... kinda want to feel like a burden sometimes to be honest #I just wish to leave a mark in the world in one way or another #idk I wish people could remember me for my soul and not my looks and face ahaha yes idk #it's 6 am actually!! finally stayed awake ahaha.

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