#i just want to be without being constantly judged by my family

[toonfinatic]

Sighhhh if i didnt have pets living at my dads house i'd go non contact/low contact with my family

[celestial-sapphicss]

.

[gremlingottoosilly]

I met a guy in the Summer (dilf!Konig x fem!Reader)

Your boyfriend is an asshole. Luckily, his hot dad just returned from deployment. CW and Tags: Cheating, dub-con, size kink, daddy kink, age gap(reader in 20s, Konig is early 40s), Konig is a pervert, slightly obsessive Konig, love(and lust) at first sight, fingering, dom!Konig Word count: 3713 AO3

“Just one more game, babe, don’t be a buzzkill. I don’t want to end at a loss.” You didn’t want to be a buzzkill, of course. You simply wanted to be a good girlfriend, have some domestically cozy date, and for your boyfriend to at least try to put an effort into being with you. It wasn’t much to ask for, really. You hoped so, at least. You didn’t want to be an annoying, nagging girlfriend who only ever waits for another reason to yell at him, but your patience started to run thin. 

You spend the past three hours either listening to his apathetic rambling about the shows he watched – really, you wanted to invest in stuff he liked, but an abnormally large amount of animes he talked about had 1000-year-old girls who looked like they were 10, wearing inappropriate outfits, and you started to raise the alarm. 

You also watched him play – and also listened to his rage quitting and angry voice messages to his team that, honestly, made you slightly anxious. You never liked loud people, people who were so easy to rage about something as silly as some colorful video game with too many characters to look after. 

So, like a good girlfriend would – you wanted to be a good girlfriend, he was such a nice guy before you started dating, and you need something to think about besides the tremendous amount of study work you are doing for college – you decided to go and look for snacks. Maybe bring something for him as well. 

— I’ll find something to eat, alright? 

He didn’t respond at first, so you shook his shoulder. Your boyfriend took off his headphones with annoying look on his face, half-turning to look at you. You gulped, suddenly feeling like a child in front of the principal – not a feeling that you were supposed to feel around your partner, but with him, you somehow constantly felt like you were being judged. 

— Nah, stay here. I don’t want my father to see you. 

— Ah…your father is at home? 

You never heard anyone else being at the house – big house, you must admit, and it’s embarrassing almost how you never thought about his family. He lives with his dad, apparently, and the depth of your relationships can only be judged by the fact you literally didn’t know what his father’s name was. 

— Returned from his fucking deployment. He’d ask too many questions about you. 

— You didn’t tell him about me? 

Ah, now you’re hurt a little bit. You knew it wasn’t anything serious or too committed yet, but you intended to make this work. To try and fix all the problems you can without ending things abruptly. 

— He never asked. Not like he cares too much, but…

An apathetic dad, huh. 

You started to slowly piece together the puzzle that was your boyfriend’s horrible boyfriend skills. Now, you want to meet the man who conceived him and kick him in the nuts for creating such an unlovable human being who somehow captivated your chronically lonely heart. 

— If you don’t want me to come and meet him, I can go home. 

He doesn’t answer because his queue is finally coming to another match – you simply nod, knowing everything you need to. You can grab a little snack for yourself, fuck off to your dorm and rethink your life choices while your roommate is getting pounded by some gruss British bloke with an accent that makes your ears bleed. 

You have dignity, and right now, it has asked you to get some snacks from the kitchen. 

*** Now, the only thing König wanted after returning from deployment was to take as many hot showers as he could, shut his bastard of a son up, and get some delicious food waiting for him in the freezer. He was already home for a few days, but adjusting is always hard when you basically fucking hate living at your own house. Of-fucking-course, his son was watching the house while he was away – and now he can’t even think of a good excuse to set him off to his mother. Too old to do this, and split custody never really worked when not even one part of the relationship wanted to take care of the kid. 

König closes the door of the refrigerator – of course, his son took every good thing that he stashed for himself. With a groan, the colonel fights the urge to finally throw him out of the house – a thing he needed to do a few years ago, just when he celebrated his 18th, but some sentimental part of his heart instead promised to help with finding a place close to the college. No good deed goes unpunished. 

With a groan, he takes a few steps from the fridge – and then he almost stumbles across an angel. 

Scheisse

Now, König never thought of himself as a predator who prefers running after college girls who might as well be his daughters. He never thought of himself as a gut who liked them young – his wife, god forsake her name, was his age when they started dating, and he hardly had any sexual encounters with a person under 25 in the past few years. Well, not like he had any sexual encounters in the past years, but…

The thing is – he never thought he liked girls with wide eyes, pouty faces, and trembling hands who were holding a bag of his cookies that he carefully stashed away from his son. 

You are wearing something cute, a nice skirt and an adorable pink cardigan that looks so cozy and warm and soft, and he fights the urge to grab your skirt and simply lift it, You’re dressed up for a cute coffee date, and König has to double check if he isn’t dreaming and no one has decided to play a prank on him and send him a cute callgirl. 

— Oh! Sorry. It’s yours, isn’t it? 

You give him his cookies back – but not before your fingers fished another salty caramel goodness out of the bag, and you bit it. He looks at your teeth, at your lips, and glimpses of your tongue – god, he is an old, dirty bastard because even his baggy pants aren’t enough to hide his boner. You have no right to look this pretty for a man who hasn’t seen a woman in three months and hasn’t had sex in the past few years. 

You lick the crumbs from your fingers – it’s such a deliberate action that he can’t believe he actually sees it, and it’s not even something from porn he used to like. 

— Ja. You can have it. 

He would give you the code to his bank account if you asked for it. 

— Thank you, sir. I’m…well, I assume if Paul didn’t introduce me to you…I’m his girlfriend. Nice to meet you. 

You lick your lips and take a step back, pressed against the counter. He looks at the sway of your hips, a bit of crumbs on your shirt, and almost brushes it away with his hands. It would be a good excuse to touch your chest – but he can’t be like this, he has to keep his urges under control, or else his son will never forgive him. 

Yeah, like he needs a better reason to throw his useless son from his home. 

— Girlfriend? He never spoke about you. 

You look sad, and he immediately curses under his breath. For a moment, you look too fragile – too real. He can’t handle this look on a woman, especially as pretty and young as you are. You bat your eyelashes, even involuntarily, and he already prepares to give you the keys to his home just so you’d stop with such miserable expressions. He has a spare bedroom. 

He has his bedroom with a bed that would be enough for both of you. 

— Ah. Um. We’re…I guess we’re not at this stage yet. 

— Knowing him, you’ll never be, Schatz. 

You look at him immediately – you’re offended, angry, and sad at the same time. There is a certain stubbornness in your eyes that immediately makes him want to simply scoop you in his arms, lift you, and drag you straight to the altar – and here he thought that his impulses over getting married would be over after his first divorce. 

— What do you mean by this, sir? 

You look uncertain now, he can see this in your eyes – and really, knowing his asshole of a child, he is almost sure that Paul never once got you off, either physically or emotionally. 

Now, König never once considered himself to be a good man. He has killed countless people, overthrown many governments, and made shitty jobs for shitty people way more than saving hostages to help the good guys – and in the romantic field, it’s even worse. Wife, unsatisfied with his controlling tendencies and inability to feel normal love for a human being – and a son who hates him because, in fact, he never once wanted to have a kid. 

He looks at you and sees a pretty young thing, still in college or freshly out of, probably without a stable job and normal social standing – a good girl won’t be with his son if she isn’t stupid or extremely desperate for a relationship. 

The thing is, König is also extremely desperate for another warm body next to his, to feel a woman beside him, to love and obsess over someone – he looks at your pouty lips and shaky hands, at the way you bite the corner of your glossy mouth, and he almost wants to drop you on this very table and fuck you until you’re crying under him. He can’t do just that, of course. It would probably make you extremely uncomfortable and scared, but…well, quite frankly, his son doesn’t deserve you. 

König is. 

— I won’t sugarcoat it, Schatz. My son is a Scheiß Arschloch…fucking asshole, that is. I’m surprised he brought home someone as cute as you. 

You feel embarrassment collecting in your body. Paul’s dad is a…interesting man. 

Tall, broad, very muscular – even his baggy house clothes aren’t really concealing his extremely interesting physique from your eyes. He looks yummy and tasty, and you fight the urge to eye the bulge in his pants because you’re a good girl, you don’t look at your boyfriend’s dad like this. 

König has greying ginger hair, locks already curling slightly at the lack of cutting, and you fight the urge to sit on the counter and get your palm in his scalp, massage his head gently, and pull him closer for a kiss. You feel like a dirty, horrible woman – your boyfriend is in his room, probably enjoying his time on your “date” while you’re lusting over his father. 

Then again, this date already felt like a disaster. This relationship, too. 

— Paul isn’t all that bad, sir. 

“He at least has a nice dick,” you wanted to add but stopped yourself. Paul is tall and somewhat strong – if he weren’t sitting at his computer all day, you would call him even muscular. And he has a nice dick, yes, even though he had no idea how to use it. You liked the idea of laying with him, of spraying your jaw trying to fit all of this in your mouth, but his kinks and his sex skills being directly taken from porn…not really your thing. 

You look at König and wonder if they are similar in all of the places. He is his father, after all. 

König catches your gaze locked on his bulge and smirks. 

God, if he knew his son had such a cute girl, he would ask her to come earlier. He is two weeks off deployment and probably won’t take another long contract for a few months because they just upped his retirement payings, and he can afford to slack off a little bit, only visiting the home base for some training and instructions for rookies. 

He can afford to retire and never worry about money again – but he needs someone to make his days less boring, right? 

You look like a good candidate. 

— I’m sure my son was convincing, but I know him better than anyone. He doesn’t deserve you, Schatz. 

He is shitty at flirting, it’s not his forte – he can flaunt his money, maybe, show you in his wallet and bank account face first. He can just straight up ask you to be his sugar baby and suck his cock instead of doing your studies, but he can’t flirt and manipulate to save his life. Lying isn’t something he is good for, this is why his wife has left. 

— I…not sure we should be having this conversation here. 

You’re a good girl, and it’s infuriating. He knows that having someone in his bed shouldn’t be the end goal for his leave, but he wants you, and by the look on your face, you aren’t opposed to the idea. König doesn’t understand if he likes that you’re so reserved about it or if he wants you to be a bit more slutty – but he captures you in the space between the kitchen counter and presses you with his body. 

— You want to see the bedroom then?

Pushes you so close his knee gets between your legs – it might look involuntary like he didn’t exactly want for it to be placed here, but you aren’t dumb, you know what he wants from you. Like a good fucking girl, you’re too shy to give it to him right about now. God, sometimes he hates being so nice to people around him. 

— Sir, this is very…

He got you caged in his hands, body trapped in his embrace – you jerk your head upwards a little bit, staring at him like a small bird in the hands of a predator. He isn’t a strong man in regard of morals, he doesn’t see anything wrong with fucking his son’s girlfriend – if the girl is up to it. And if she isn’t…well, he better make sure she is. 

— What is it, Schatz? Paul won’t hear us in his headphones.

You know just how wrong it is, and you almost want to escape – his dick grinds on your pelvis through his pants, and you’re horrified to see how big it is. Excited too, of course, he is bigger than your boyfriend ever could be, and you don’t want to be a slut, but, oh well, not like you were in a committed and serious relationship anyway. 

Paul was seeing your friends more than you ever saw them – it’s probably a sign that you should settle for someone older. You did enjoy Lana Del Rey's songs, after all. 

— I don’t want to break his heart. 

— He doesn’t have one. 

You’re lost when he pushes his lips to kiss you over and over again – a surprisingly good kisser, and you give in because it was the first time in forever a kiss made you feel this good. His lips are sending electricity down your spine, you want to moan just from his knee, pushing on the softness of your cunt through that adorable skirt you liked so much – you feel so small like this, so tiny in his hands, you…

God, you feel like a slut, and you like it. 

Soon enough, you answered the kiss, your lips meeting his in a dance that made you feel hot, that made you feel like your boyfriend never could. Never thinking of yourself as someone who can fall so easily into the hands of an older man, now you know that he got you right where he wanted. 

You push your hand on his pants, trying to get the control back – but he stops you, a giant hand enveloping your wrist and pushing you back. With a surprise on your face, König just wants to kiss you all over. God, you’re adorable, and he knows that you deserve way more than being fucked on the rough kitchen counter while your so-called boyfriend is too busy dickriding his friends in some useless online game. 

— Not now, princess. You deserve better than being fucked on the kitchen counter, ja? It can come later. 

“Later” sounds like a promise, and you bite back your moan when he keeps pushing his knee against your cunt, making you throb and clench on nothing. He is such a gentleman, you can’t help but compare him to his son – and his fabulous ability to make you feel dirty after fucking you in the backseat of his car and tossing you to your dorm with your pussy still wet and messy after you didn’t cum. 

You sob, not from sadness, but from pleasure mixed with some weird, unnatural for you emotions – you feel weird, strained here like this, but you hug his neck and whisper something in his ear. Something, dangerously sounding just like “daddy, please” 

König is blushing, and he looks fucking adorable. 

— Daddy, ja? God, you’re dangerous, liebling. Going to get me in trouble with my son later. 

He laughs when he kisses you again, his hand slipping in your panties only to find them completely soaked – he knows you deserve a nice pillow and soft sheets under your body, and he pushes you up so you can hug his waist with your legs. You rely on him like a cute pet, and you’re so perfect in his hands he curses himself for not seeing you before. 

He is going to ruin you for anyone but him. Put so much cum in you, it will make your tummy bulge – make you his precious sugar baby, pay for your dumb college and make you move to his bedroom instead of some shitty dorm you probably share with four other people. 

He can be good for you – but he will ruin you for anyone else, anyone appropriate, every guy your age who clearly doesn’t know how to treat a lady right. 

— So wet for me…such a filthy thing, I didn’t know my son dated a whore. 

— N…not a whore, please…

He kisses you on your forehead, silently apologizing. You feel his crooked, scarred smile, and you push your face up to kiss him – you want to touch him so badly it makes you feel stupid. 

— Sorry, Schatzen. Not a whore, a good girl for her daddy, ja? So nice for me, too fucking young…

— W…we really shouldn’t… — Tshhh, don’t think about it. Thinking will only hurt your pretty dumb head. — I’m not…

— Quiet, little one. Let daddy handle everything.

He kisses you over and over, his fingers playing with your pussy – meaty digits digging in your hole, making you whimper from sudden intrusion. He is big, bigger than anyone else, just two of his fingers are enough to spread you as much as normal cock would, and even though you’re used to taking Paul’s size, you just know that his dad would be much, much bigger. He is going to split you open, and you will love every fucking second. 

It feels so wrong, you still aren’t sure if you want him to touch you like this. 

It feels so right, he is experienced and eager, pushing every button to make you squirm in his grasp. Your orgasm comes embarrassingly quick – maybe because you haven’t gotten off in ages, only miserable masturbation sessions and poor attempts at faking your orgasm made it feel real. Paul never cared enough to actually get you off – but now…

You aren’t ready for him. You squirm in his grasp when the pressure becomes too much, and he soothes you, two fingers still buried in your soaked cunt. You feel so dirty, so wrong right now – you are cumming on the fingers of your boyfriend’s absent father, and you love every second of it. 

Post-orgasm clarity makes you whiny and sobby, and you whimper in his shoulder when he gently lifts you in his hands. God, you’re adorable, and he knows that he just scrambled your brain with that orgasm – it’s good, really, he might just want to keep your pretty head nice and empty for him. Not like you would ever need to think in his presence, the colonel can handle everything in- and out- of bed. 

König holds you close, not allowing you to scramble away no matter how embarrassed you are. You are his precious thing, with a pouty face, and he will do everything in his power to make you squirm on his fingers again and again before he makes you his wife for good. 

So impulsive, maybe this is why his son is such an asshole – taking the worst traits of his father. 

— Don’t cry, Schatzen. You’re okay, it felt good, didn’t it? 

— W…we shouldn’t have. Shit. I’m sorry, it was a m…god, I need to tell Paul. 

— I’ll tell him. 

— No! — I will tell my asshole of a son that you’re my girl now, ja? And then I will take you to the bedroom, so we can fuck. 

— I need to return to my dorm. 

— And then I will dine you properly, okay? Sorry, Liebling, I know I should court you before all of this…but we can afford to go a bit off board, ja? 

He is smiling, so smitten and obsessed over just having you cum on his fingers once – you don’t have the heart to say no. Never did. You’re a good, proper girl, and Paul was never treating you right anyway. You feel dirty, yes, but somehow, it is almost right. 

He peppers your face with kisses, like a dog lapping its tongue all over your skin – you’re so concentrated on the warmth of his strong, seasoned body that you don’t even look in the direction of the doorway to the kitchen. 

Paul, however, looks straight at you, disheartened and shocked. 

— W…what the fuck, dad?! König laughs, kissing you once again – deep, hot, with tongue and loud, sloppy sounds of your mouth pressing into one another. You’re stuck in place, still caged in his arms like a precious little pet you are. 

— She’ll make a good step mom, ja? 

You don’t even register his hands slowly caressing your fingers as if he already tries to check the ring sizes. 

[idk6123]

Puppeteer The Puppeteer (Homelander X Male Reader)

With The Seven constantly being on the hot seat, Homelander only wishes one thing during days like these, control. He wishes there were a way The Deep do less dumb stuff. He wishes A-Train wasn’t some junkie that relies on drugs to use his powers. He wishes he could actually trust Starlight. He wishes Queen Maeve actually would listen to him and stop hating him. He wishes Translucent was still alive. He was fine with Black Noir.

With the lack of a member, he wishes someone more reliable to have in the team. Someone that meets all of his requirements, strong, obedient, trustworthy, basically everything that lacks with his current team. Thus, he got Ashley to scout for potential heroes.

“…And by doing this, we will be keeping up with the trend for more inclusivity.”

Homelander frowns and drops the information file on his desk. “You really think someone blind and in a wheelchair would fit the team?”

“She may be handicapped, but she’s strong. Besides, we never had a handicapped person in The Seven.”

“True, but we do have one in the PR team.” Homelander ruthlessly comment. Without even looking at the offended Ashley, the blonde looks through the files of how he finds interestingly enough to take even a peek.

“Luckily, we many other candidates. I’m sure we can reach a compromise-” Homelander drops the files on the side. Then he gestures to Ashley to give him the files she’s holding. She’s quick to give it to him, making him to look again. “We have plenty of strong heroes who will make the public-” She then stops talking when Homelander stops browsing to look at one file in particular. Judging by his face, he found his new hero. “Who’re you looking at?”

With a satisfied smirk, Homelander continues to look through the file. “We got our new member.”

-

“I highly advice to not get him.” In the hallway, Ashley is following Homelander, who’s meeting his new teammate. “He just made his break as a hero. He only got 11 followers on Instagram, most of them being family members. He caught only 2 burglars. He’s an introvert and I’m not surprised he only leave the house to do grocery shopping. The only good thing is that he’s gay, but I got 100 gay guys on my list.”

“I don’t care about them. I want him.” Homelander insist. He doesn’t stop walking. Not even looking at Ashley as he talks. “And if you’re going to have trouble having him good PR, that is your problem.” With that, Homelander enters his office, with Ashley following him with stress.

Inside of the office, Homelander is quick to see the young man, who looks a bit nervous. He stands up to give his new boss a nervous smile. “It’s an honor meeting you, sir.”

Homelander accepts his hand, smiling back at him. “Please drop the formalities. Please treat me like you treat your friends.”

After introductions, Y/N sit back on his seat, while Homelander is sitting opposite of him. Ashley is standing at the side, wondering what her boss is up to. “I have to say, I’m quite surprised I received a call. I just started all of this, and I’m already being recognized by The Seven.”

“There is a reason for that.” Homelander shows a kind smile. “You got a gift like no other, Y/N. “I never seen a telepath that has such potential like you have. I know you’re an amateur right now, but I can see in front of me a hero that will save millions of lives.”

Y/N blushes a bit, didn’t expecting to receive so many complements from his idol. “T-Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. If you don’t mind, I would like to see you demonstrating your powers. I want to see how good you are right now.” Homelander requests. “I want you to tell me something embarrassing of Ashley.”

Ashley looks alarmed, with Y/N being taken a little aback. “…I don’t use my powers on people casually unless necessary.”

“Don’t worry. She’s fine with it.” Homelander brushes it off. Although not wanting it, Ashley merely forced a painful smile. “Besides, considering this is about your future, don’t you think it’s necessary?”

Y/N knows things seems off, but this is ones in a lifetime chance. So, he uses his powers. Within a second, his face looks disgusted. “What kind of BDSM shit are you in?”

Homelander looks amused as Ashley looks even more embarrassed. “I don’t even need her to confirm it that you did it.” He then leans over. “Now for my final request. I want you to use your mind control power, take over Ashley’s mind and do something ridiculous in the hallway.”

“Wait-!”

Before Ashley could beg for Y/N not to, he did, though he feels a bit guilty. Her entire face only shows some hollowness. As she walks to the hallway, Homelander smirks and stand up. Both men get out of the hallway to see what’s going to happen. There, Ashley stands in the middle of it, with people passing by, not knowing what is going to happen.

“Attention! People! Attention!” Every worker in the hallway looks at her. “I need to confess something! Yesterday, we had a party back at my house, but I didn’t invited most of you. I want to apologize for sleeping in front of some of you and I was advised to go to the doctors.” Every worker frowns at hearing her. “I also want to apologize for the… ‘bathroom’ incident. I shouldn’t drink that much, and I got karma for it. I puked over some of you… and I’m sure you also saw me shitting in my pants at the same time. Again, I’m apologize, and I’m hope we can work normally from now on.” With that, she walks away. When she’s gone from the scene, Y/N let go of her mind.

Homelander looks proud at him as he put his hand on Y/N’s shoulder. “Congratulations teammate. You’re in.”

-

Somehow, Ashley managed to create a story surrounding the new Seven member. Y/N apparently helped Homelander during a mission as a rookie, without knowing the big hero were there. Because of it, Homelander took the newly hero under his wing and train him. The whole spin is basically a sidekick and coach relationship, which worked well for the public.

Right now, it’s the first interview for the new hero. As he awaits in the lounge room, he nervously thinks through the interview, playing it in his mind. Homelander walks in, knowing Y/N is stressing.

“You don’t look too good, buddy.”

“…I never got interviewed before, that’s all.” Y/N nervously steps on the ground. “Especially not one at national tv.”

Homelander gives him an assures smile as he walks over to him. “Remember you can just be yourself. It’s alright to be shy. In fact, Ashley would love to represent someone more introverted on the big screen. Just be humble, nice and honest, exactly how we met. Think you can do that?”

Y/N hums. “Yeah. I’m not one for scripts to be honest. But I’m fine lying if it makes you guys lives a bit easier.”

Homelander looks proud. “That’s my sidekick.” He put an arm around the younger man, who looks a bit nervous. “And don’t worry. I’m going to sit right besides you if you need me.”

Y/N can’t help but smile. “Thanks.”

-

Y/N been accustom quiet well in The Seven. He and Starlight became quick friends. He took training sessions with Queen Maeve. He and Black Noir often spend time together, since both aren’t much talkers. He got stamina training from A-Train. He doesn’t talk to The Deep because he’s currently off the team because he raped someone. Y/N isn’t one to judge people quickly, but he makes an exception with him. That leaves Homelander, who spends the most time with. He helps him train his powers, his fighting moves and helping him PR wise. The boy often views Homelander as his mentor, and comes to him for general life advice, like today.

“I can tell there is something up your mind.” Homelander speaks up as both eat their lunches. “You can talk to me.”

“Well…” Y/N looks a bit uncomfortable. He takes a second for how to phrase it. “…So, I met this guy at security. He’s kinda my first friend that aren’t you guys. But yesterday, he… he asked me out.”

This makes the blonde curious. “Like a date?”

“Y-Yeah…” Y/N replies. “I never had one, so… I’m a bit nervous.”

Homelander smiles, as he thinks through the situation. He’s quick to have a solution in his mind for the new problem. “Want some advice? Just be yourself. He already knows you, so don’t worry about presenting yourself as being social or something. Besides, there is nothing to be ashamed of being quiet.”

Y/N can’t help but smile. “Basic advice, but your right. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

-

Later that day, Homelander got to the guy’s apartment to ‘fix’ the problem. Afterwards, all he had to do is send a text to Y/N the date is off because he wasn’t interested. Knowing the effect he’s going to get; he calls it a day and await for the next act.

The next day, he met with Y/N in the training room, seeing him more stoic then usual. “Everything alright there?”

“…My date bailed on me.” Y/N avoids looking at Homelander. “He said he wasn’t interested.”

“You serious?” Homelander sits down at the side. Afterwards, he gestures his sidekick to sit besides him, which he does. “What a jerk. Are you alright?”

Y/N shakes his head. “…I-I was really looking forward for it. I thought, maybe now I’m in The Seven, it’s fine to be the quiet guy… but it looks things hasn’t changed a bit.”

Homelander put an arm around Y/N, scooting him a bit over to him. “Don’t be ashamed. I know you’re an amazing guy. You’re kind, polite, honest and a hard worker. If he called the date off, that is his loss, because any guy is lucky to be with you.” With that being said, he put his other hand on Y/N’s knee, making the man blushing a bit as Homelander’s face is so close.

“Y-You really think so.”

“I don’t think so. I know it.” Homelander smiles warmly. “Think you’re going to be okay?”

“Yeah.” Y/N smiles. “I’m going to be fine.”

-

Some days later, Homelander invited Y/N to his room. Once there, he sees the blonde holding a bottle of champagne alongside two glasses on the table.

“Since you did so well last mission, I thought we should celebrate.” He opens the bottle, as a pop sound comes from it. With a smile, he tempts Y/N to drink, which he does.

With both men smiling, they drink the champagne from the glass as they sit down. Homelander is proud of his sidekick, now finally being stand on his own. Last mission, Y/N managed to mind control 10 people at the same time. Without even getting someone hurt, he successfully removed some terrorist who would’ve ended innocent people’s lives.

“Just imagine what you can do in the future. Wouldn’t be great if you could do, let’s say, 100 people?”

“I had already trouble doing with 10.” Y/N laughs. “It’s going to be a while before I can do even 20. That being said, it’s all thanks to you. You saw the potential in me and helped me achieve it.”

“You’re welcome. I know talent when I see it.” Homelander smiles. “And I know you’re only to get better from here out.”

“I feel like that too.” Y/N sounds hopeful.

“And I continue train you. …But I have something to confess to you. I have an ulterior motive.”

Y/N is curious. “Really? What’s it?”

“Well…” Homelander avoids looking at him. “When I first saw your file, I knew you were going to be a great member, and I was more then happy to help you. But as I spend more time with you, I grew more attach to you. Not as a teammate, or a friend, but as someone who cares for you.”

Y/N looks a bit stunned. “…You mean as a partner?”

Homelander looks back at him. “Nothing would make me happier to have you at my side… as something more then a friend.”

“W-Wow…” Y/N continues to look startled. “…I-I never expected this.”

Homelander smiles. “It’s alright. Take your time.”

“I… I would be very happy to be your boyfriend.”

With a wider smile, the hero leans in and kisses Y/N, who nervously kisses back. Both of them being gentle with the other. It was short, but it was sweet, something what the blonde was going for. After the kiss, he put his hand on Y/N’s cheek.

“You look so beautiful. I’m very happy to have you at my side.”

-

The next day and the big hero wake up in his bed. His eyes quick to look at the side to see Y/N lying next to him. His front is facing towards him. With a wide smile, Homelander get on his side to carefully hug Y/N, who’s face is now against his chest. The new recruit mutters something.

“Y/N?”

But it appears he’s still asleep. The blonde then looks pass Y/N’s head. As he continues to smile, he knows he got what he wanted. To have someone’s loyalty, now in the form of love. And to make it better, have someone that is powerful. With his powers, Homelander can use his telepathic abilities to get any information instantly and control someone’s mind without any problem. Sure, he needs to mold his lover to do what he wishes, but if he continues to be patient and dedicated to his project, things will turn out very well.

[satubby]

[Once upon a dream: Where you were happy]

As once in the dream, where you forgot your memories by my side, I will still be waiting for you, so please just don't forget who you were … My precious daughter of man - Malleus Draconia

[Disclaimer: This may contain errors so I'm sorry if they bother you or confuse you when reading. I didn't think this would be so long, I will finish part 3 in a few weeks. Thanks for your support, credits to the fanart I use, if I find their artists I'll post them.]

Morning was rising outside but the curtains cast shadows in your room, then the doors opened and the maids came into your room, they were all making as much noise as ever, you sigh exhaustedly refusing to look at them. "Come on princess, get up, today is your 16th birthday" One of them said, pulling you out of bed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming... It's too early for this" You sigh, getting up and heading to the powder room, you swallowed your bitterness smiling like the 'worthy and pretty princess' you were, then the maids. did their job starting to comb your hair. Your gaze was distant and you constantly clutched your dress, you were beautiful yes, but you honestly didn't care.

"Ouch, damn it" You whisper, feeling their eyes constantly on the back of your head. 

"Watch your mouth princess" murmured one, they continued brushing your hair and making you presentable, they always made sure you looked good. As you sat there, the doors opened again and a tall figure walked in. It was the housekeeper serving the queen, she entered haughty and powerful, all the maids in your service began to murmur. "Please hurry princess, you wouldn't want to embarrass the emperor and empress, would you?" 

You almost wanted to wring his neck but you knew better than to do stupid things. So you stood up without paying attention to his 'reprimand' and bowed your body politely, bowing your head as well, after all, you were a princess without any power.

 "Yes, thank you for letting me know...I assure you I only wish the best for the kingdom and the imperial family" She looks you with that very, very stiff and bitter face. After that incident like every morning, you moved towards the emperor's castle because you lived in the empress castle, farther than any other room, you used to live in the basement where they put weapons and old stuff but it was something. 

Walking down the hall, your arrival is announced, with trumpets and a red carpet. You know they're just pretending, no one gives a shit if you got in or not.

"ATTENTION!!! THIS IS THE INCOMING HEIR PRINCESS!" closing your eyes you enter with dignity as you were taught, you felt the pressure on your being before those judging eyes of the pompous nobles, so you tried not to look bad. Some looked at you with barely concealed disgust, others simply didn't look at you and the rest whispered like silly little birds cackling incessantly amidst rumors and gossip. 

Your strides echoed with the sound of the floor as you walked towards the rulers of this place you hated to call home; the looks they gave you were either filled with disgust or filled with envy as they stepped aside to make way for you. The hall in front of you slowly filled with people after you walked away and approached the throne on the platform. 

The emperor was sitting upright on his throne, next to him was the empress, looking majestic and presumptuous, as always. The empress smiled slightly as you knelt before them, both extended their hands waiting for a kiss from you, most of all it was the woman before you who gave you that silent command.

The empress stroked your hair with false kindness when you complied with her order, still with her smile on her face she continued to enjoy your humiliation, it disgusted you to look like a mere dog... And the emperor didn't even do anything, he never really cared about you. 

"Happy sixteenth birthday my dear.... Now I hope you won't do anything to make us sad; or would you like to see her highness disappointed?" Her lips brushed your lobe warning you with sincere malice, then she walked away from you smiling as if nothing had happened, you didn't even react, you knew what she wanted, you wouldn't give her that.

"Thank you for- Your worries, your highness and beloved emperor.... I wish you good vibes and I hope you live long!" With those words, you forced a forced smile swallowing your little pride and the bile in your throat felt bitter. You sincerely praised yourself, since you were good at acting, you had to do it if you wanted to survive. 

Again the emperor looked at you without interest and gave you permission to leave, so you did and like every year, you were alone on your birthday, the gifts were not really for you, much less was this party... And honestly you had long ago stopped giving it importance. 

Once he gave you permission to leave, you could leave the throne room and get away from this heavy atmosphere that only made you feel sick and want to vomit because of so much hypocrisy in the air. Although before you managed to get out of sight you could hear the nobles start whispering and gossiping behind your back. 

They were noisy, much louder than a rooster would be at morning crowing time, but what could you do? Nothing and just thinking about them gave you headaches. You continue down the halls, with a couple of maids walking behind you who don't care for you either. They never really liked you, so they just followed you as their job ordered, even you wouldn't want to be with yourself, you were a bitter mess. 

"Please leave me alone, okay? I need air" You turned around stopping at the entrance towards a balcony. They look at you confused but they care so little about you that they better bow and leave, you on the other hand headed for the nearby balcony, stretching your legs and leaning your body against the marble railing.

Looking down at the ground, you let out sighs and snorts, then unleash your usual attitude of resignation and rebellion, only being alone you can say or do the little you can, the little freedom you had.  

 "Fuck those fucking nobles, I didn't even want to come— Fucking loudmouths, they're just vultures hoping I'm wrong, honestly... GO TO THE FUCK THEM ALL!! That fucking housekeeper, the emperor and the fucking empress!.... Anyway, I hope this day ends soon"

You let your head fall on your shoulders, looking resigned to your situation, you were sick of following these stupid rules. A lady doesn't do this, a lady doesn't do that— You are at your limit and yet you can only complain to yourself or suffer your punishments. 

Your eyes unconsciously looked at parts of your body, you bit your lips in frustration.... Those scars still hurt, but you had to bear them because that made you a princess- Although honestly you always had that doubt, Did princesses really do that? In your stories it was something else. But laughing, remind yourself that they are just that, stories annnnd, since you were a child you didn't know who you were before coming here, you were always told what to say or do, as you were foolish and naive, you blindly followed in fear of that damned bitch of an empress. 

You were the puppet in her theatrical play, used and punished if something didn't go her way. Sometimes you wanted to kill her, but you'd rather keep your neck in your body. No one would help a dirty blood like you, a stupid girl with no connection or power whatsoever plus your stupid insignificant elven powers weren't even strong you could only heal scrapes or make little lights because according to rumors; your dead mother wasn't a complete elf. 

"These heels burn so much, maybe I should throw them away... But that damn woman will punish me if I do. It's a real shame my birthday sucks and the weather is so nice, which is ironic because I'm a mess."

You drop your body onto a nearby table, playing with your fingers, you didn't know at what point you started to fall asleep. 

While you were dozing on that table, lost in a kind of dream, you began to feel like you were floating in the air, reality became a dream and vice versa. At some point you opened your eyes in a strange place, it was all white and there was only you, but your body was shining, as if the stars had given you their remains to make you shine.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the giggling of a little girl, a very familiar one, that hair and tattered clothes were familiar even though you couldn't see her face. 

"Hello? ... How strange, I swore I heard something-"

You scratched your eyes thinking you were still hallucinating. You had just fallen asleep and didn't know how you got here. 

"Haha... Nyum!"

There it was again, that childish giggle attracted you again, then turning towards where it came from, you saw a completely white silhouette standing in the middle of the void. 

"Hey girl, what are we doing in this place and-? Wait!" You exclaimed starting to follow her, as she started to run, the emptiness started to change. 

The more you ran, the more it changed, the ground felt soft as you now stepped on clouds. Tall mirrors filled your vision like a maze, then again you heard the girl's giggle. 

"Haha! You can't catch me.."

Your eyes followed her silhouette in confusion, she was as energetic and elusive as... You, from childhood. You didn't know why, but you began to follow her, all these hallways of mirrors reflected both figures. 

"Girl don't run! Ugh, just tell me what this place is, fuck I just wanted to sleep and I ended up here!"

Sighing tired from so much running, you stop to rest, however something caught your attention; some mirrors were worn or broken, others simply had nothing to reflect. 

And the farther away you went the darker this place became, you two glowed as the darkness swallowed you. Then you see her entering a specific mirror, it was full of thorns and wilted roses, this place was silent, her giggling stopped being heard, slowly you went towards that mirror. 

"That girl- How strange, she took me all this way just to see this mirror?"

You whisper without understanding this strange dream, if it was one to begin with. 

So lost were you in your thoughts, that you don't even notice when your hand goes through the mirror and you are swallowed by it, unlike others, this mirror is dark as much as the the glass it was made of as its withered wooden frame. 

Screaming as you fall, you feel the air seep into your tresses shaking and making a mess of it, your dress suddenly changed as you landed in a brutish thump.

With pain in your body, you slowly got up spitting grass, that strange fall made you feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Slowly you could stand up on your own feet, you were without shoes which seemed strange but what did you expect? This dream is strange in itself. 

"I must stop getting so much in my head— come to think of it, where did that mirror take me?"

You turned around looking at your surroundings, however the girl glimpsed out of the corner of your eye again, laughing at you and making you angry. 

"HEY COME BACK HERE YOU SHATTERING BRAT!"

Now you felt like the empress every time you yelled at the silhouette. Fuck! Some habits stick with people. 

She kept running into the mist of this dark forest, with you following behind her, the branches on your feet and the wildlife of the place making you scrape, but it didn't matter. You wanted to know how to get out of this place. 

"Jijiji! I'm faster than you..." Whispered the brat, her silhouette running and when you finally came out of the dark forest, the light filled her eyes blinding you. When the effect passed, you stopped thinking for an instant, this whole place was magnificent and magical, but the girl was gone. 

In its place, the vast tulip field filled your view, in the middle of it and far away on the hill, lay a beautiful oak tree the size of the most pompous castle presumably held by royalty. 

Mesmerized by this magnificence, you walked down the hill, it was a few more meters but something guided you to the oak tree. The closer you got, you heard a deep and melancholic voice singing.

Its beautiful whistling caught your attention, the closer you got the better you saw someone's back and— That little girl sitting next to her. 

Never thought that you would be Standing here so close to me There's so much I feel that I should say But words can wait until some other day

Both were relaxing on a chair made of wood and flowers as a handle, the stranger kept singing; for some reason his voice gave you a familiar but pleasant peace, you didn't know why or how, but you keep watching them swinging. 

It's been a long, long time Haven't felt like this, my dear Since can't remember when It's been a long, long time You'll never know how many dreams I've dreamed about you Or just how empty they all seem without you

The wind was blowing away the colorful petals of the field full of those tulips, you standing still in the tall grass, mesmerized by the whistling of that stranger, still looking at the girl, they seemed so comfortable with each other.

It's been a long, long time It's been a long, oh long time

And then that song stopped, breaking like a spell as well as your illusion, for just as the figure turned, his face could not be seen for he silenced you, causing thousands of tulips to cover your vision. 

"WAIT PLEASE! Who are you—" 

With an abrupt silence, you were left in the emptiness of before, broken glass halves scattered on the floor surrounded your feet, the girl was gone, only you and that hall of mirrors remained. 

Sighing, you pick up several pieces and your fragmented reflection looks back at you.

Your thoughts stop when you feel someone pull you out of that place and your eyes open as you feel the pain of a slap. Your eyes immediately went to those responsible for that: The maids in the service of the empress, who don't even look sorry for having done such a thing.

"Hey, you know you shouldn't sleep like that in public, you should be ashamed of yourself? What if the nobles gossip about you? hahahahaha." 

You clutched your reddish cheeks due to the hard slap, you growl silently wanting to do something but you just bit your lip in anger and swallowed it with 'dignity', which was the only thing you really had left; nothing belongs to you nor did anyone in this palace seem to take your position seriously.

You are just an ornament for the empress and a sack of potatoes for others to vent their frustrations. You had nowhere to go, if you left they would surely kill you, because the dirty blood should not live. 

"Please, couldn't you be less rude, Tsk! If you were seen slapping me, wouldn't you go unpunished? I'm still the emperor's daughter. It's frowned upon for a commoner to hit a noble, let alone royalty like me" You sneered with measured sarcasm, if they wanted to pull shit against you, you'd mess with them, it's all or nothing.

Your joke made them turn pale, the other maid behind gasped and took a step back. The one who slapped you swallowed as she quickly pulled herself together. They did not want the wrath of the empress if such rumors began to circulate, their necks, and perhaps yours, would roll. 

"You should be grateful princess because I have not yet reported your attitude to our noble empress, be good and we can forget about this incident" They said with a smile on their faces, the other nodded his head as the speaker held his face confidently, as if he had all the power in the situation, but his eyes reflected the fear and falsity of his words.

If they did that, they would pay more than you, a simple spanking would not be mere punishment for commoners like them, on the contrary for you, who you would be 'disciplined' for your indecency as a noble, 

However, you were interrupted by the empress's housekeeper (that damned boot-licking spy) She advanced towards you and all the maidens present bowed in fear, the two in front of you also trembled. 

"Now ladies don't make a fuss in the middle of the balconies and princess let's avoid making a fuss, please if you are not going to do anything at the party then go back to your room. As for you as maids, you have permission from the empress to discipline her, but don't overdo it..." She looked at you with cold condescension, as if she were superior. Biting your lips, you force a smile crumpling your dress in anger but swallow it all, smiling politely and standing up, wiping your dress and bowing.

 "Thank you, I will follow that sage advice, as you always know what to do, with your permission." Annoyed and frustrated once again, you left in anger and your footsteps echo loudly through the empty corridors of this place, listening to the maids laughing at you, as always.

Those damn maidservants, they always had something to say, didn't they? Laughing and talking behind your back every chance they got. Then there were those damn nobles, they were all the same, looking down on you. They always had something to comment on, whether it was your looks, your status or how you behaved. In the end you were just a trophy to them. A princess just to show off, nothing more.

Your thoughts were diverted by the sounds of the party, soon the second waltz would begin. But even if you were to go there, you would not be welcome, which is silly and ironic because this party is for you but no one actually congratulates you, the bitch empress steals every birthday you had, only to receive praise for her benevolence towards you... A bastard with dirty half elven blood.

 "Phew, at least this day is winding down." 

You sighed again as you vaguely thought about your dream, but you were more curious about that stranger, you didn't understand why he sent you back to reality, nor did you know why that girl led you there. In the end you walked down the hallway ignoring the lights and the drunks, it was like that every year, just nobles inflating their egos and gossiping behind each other's backs.

Hallways full of drunks were nothing new to you. Every year the parties ended the same as the others, with drunks and gossiping nobles. You couldn't wait for it to end, you always found it exhausting and annoying. Yet here you were, standing in the middle of the hallway with all these drunken fools around you... Surely there were some fucking and eating with lust around. 

"Hello princess!" 

A voice called out behind you, one you sadly recognized from all the years you had lived in the palace living with the nobles.

The stupid, disgusting son of Marquis Duboff, that dog rather than a man, always insisted on touching you and then complained when you refused. Snarling at fate, you tried to run away from him but he grabbed your hand and cornered you on the wall almost going out to the stairs. "Come on princess! Don't be like that, the other time I saw you flirting with other men, maybe the little slut can't help strutting around and wanting to fuck cock? You can't fool me, I know you like it—!" 

Drunk breath filled your nose, you wanted to vomit. His smell and everything about him disgusted you, so when he held your wrists, you kicked him in his private parts, you were irritated beyond belief.

"Tsk! When are you going to understand that I HATE YOU? You're a garbage existence, so.... If you'll excuse me, m-a-r-q-u-i-s!" With those words, you fixed your dress, you could be cheeky and follow orders for your own survival... However, you weren't going to play along with his games, that human excuse was a stubborn and pathetic being because you didn't want to call him a man when the vacancy was too big for him. 

This one knocked you down putting his hands in your hair, you in defense tried to shake him off but in the end between pulls, he knocked you down hitting you in the face and calling you an ungrateful bitch.

The blow threw you to the ground and to the side, sending you stumbling into a wall, you almost died if you fell badly down the stairs. You clutched your cheek as a groan of pain escaped you and, of course, the pathetic bastard was still standing there mockingly.

"You're not going anywhere princess, even though you act like an ungrateful bitch...I'm sure you'll soon come to your senses when you see that I can be gentle..." 

He sneered at you as he looked down at you from his elevated position holding an entire bottle of wine. His smile grew as he took a step closer to you, striding over and drinking. 

Then he started fighting you when you pushed him back wanting to leave, and he had the audacity to call you a spoiled brat, when IN YOUR LIFE! You've had some of that, anything you wanted was squashed and used as an excuse to make you less or crush your spirit. 

"STUPID BITCH!", you hear him yell as you poked his eye with your fingernails, in an attempt to stop him from taking your clothes off. He finally smashes the bottle on your head, making you blurry and blood dripping from your wound. 

You couldn't stand it any longer and you ran away crying, not out of sadness or helplessness (maybe it was that, but you would never say it out loud) but mostly it was rage, pure and undiluted. You felt pathetic, a fragile doll that broke for someone else's enjoyment.

"Fuck all of you... Ick! You guys are assholes" You clench your fists drawing blood from your wound with a torn piece of cloth from your now torn dress and head to your room, well, those fancy furnishings and decor really couldn't be called a room, it wasn't yours to begin with, just a guest room modified to mimic that of a room for royalty. 

Still, you decided it was better to go to your old, dirty and abandoned 'room', which was just the basement where they kept junk and rusty weapons. As you enter, you close the door, dropping into a crouch and hugging your legs, enclosing your face in your dress breaking that elegant facade into sadness and anger. 

You were exhausted and tired, very tired of everything, of everyone. Running away from the damn marquis, from the empress, from the nobles. You just wanted to be free, to be happy and find a place to just... be, instead of being a princess forced to live in a damn box and be judged or belittled for every little action.

Sighing as you sat there in that dusty old room, tears streaming down your face as you hid in your dress, you continued to wander in your thoughts. You felt alone, cut off from anything good or happy in this damned place, if there was any happiness in the falsehood of nobility to begin with. 

Your snot was running from your nose, your makeup was smeared and you didn't care at the time, you just wanted it all to be over. Sometimes you were angry at your dead mother, you blamed her for your useless elven blood running through your veins. You would even cut yourself to try to get it out and stop being a dirty blood, but all you get were injuries with punishments from the empress, you honestly don't know when was the last time you smiled or if you ever did, 

You wanted to keep hating her, she's a mother who never saw you grow up, but you didn't want to be like them, just another human, someone who pretends and discriminates against others just because. It would be hypocritical of you to do so, but sometimes you just want to scream and hate them freely, but it's stupid to do that and you just put your anger aside.

"It's useless, everything is the same every year, what did I expect this time? Mother, is my existence wrong? They just use me and throw me away when I'm not useful. I'm getting tired, how much longer can I go on with this performance?" You cried rubbing your eyes and wiping your smeared makeup with your dress, it was ruined anyway. 

Your eyes wandered around the room, looking at old dusty furniture and consumed by time, now they are blurred memories. If you think about it, in the past for some reason, you used to write letters to someone, hoping they would take you away from this place, but those hopes are ephemeral like happiness. 

You continued to sit there and cry, your feelings of hopelessness and anger pouring out. The makeup on your face was ruined, but you didn't care, it would be just another reason for the empress to call you a savage, mocking you. 

The zero memories of your childhood or the existence of your mother, your life here, everything came over you. It was very hard to face it all, very hard to hold out hope for any kind of happiness for yourself. After all, you were nothing more than a princess in a cage.

For a moment, the sensation you felt in that dream made you think of the stranger, and the memory came to mind, the magical and serene sight. It is contrary to how you felt now.

The moonlight illuminated the old dusty room, your eyes for some reason went to the old table, many broken drawings on it, for a moment you saw yourself as a child writing right there, however something blinded you like a light in your eyes. Curious you get up going to the table, the last time you were here living and sleeping you were exactly 11 years old, so you had left everything the same as when you left. 

"What the hell—?" Your gaze went to the pieces of paper, then moving them you coughed through the dust that was released after years in neglect and, shaking it with your hand— A strange piece black as darkness received you, the one that has accompanied you in your life since you are conscious until you forgot it, and if not for today you would still be in oblivion of its existence. 

Then, when you took it, an energetic discharge came from the tip to your head, giving you headaches and like a vague memory, you were pulled towards that vision, but it was blurred, what you knew was that you were in a forest. Your hands were small but you did not control this memory and this childish body.

Your ears perked up as you heard your own voice laughing, but it sounded more animated. Sometimes you think the current you is so different from your childhood self, less bitter and miserable. 

"M■□ll■s-sama, it's unfair that you always let the human win!" 

Another voice interrupted your diatribe and in turn you recognized that it was male, of course with a youthful and scandalous touch. A familiar laughter made you open your eyes in this dream(?), then that stranger whose name you did not fully understand, answered the other man, strangely you did not see who they were, because in this memory you were still hiding behind a tree.

"S□b■k, don't be hard on her, besides I don't want to make her feel bad, my ■□■■■□ is important" Your giggles kept coming out as your eyes made you expectant in this strange dream, just sharing vision with this uncontrolled childish body. The strangers behind the tree, shrouded in mystery, continue to argue. 

'What are they talking about?'

You thought to yourself, not your dream self, just your current self. Strangers are still looking for you, you looked like you were 5 years old by the size and high pitched giggles you let out. And that was before you came to the palace, what was not clear to you about this situation and your past self which you didn't remember much, so you are not understanding anything.

The two voices kept talking as the you in this memory peeked out for seconds, unable to really see their faces due to the speed at which you were hiding. You were looking from your childhood perspective, hiding in a tree and laughing to yourself, it all seemed less difficult if you thought about it. The other two males seemed to be looking for you, still arguing as they looked around the area.

Your childhood self seemed cheerful, again you wondered if she was really you or if she was just a past fragment. You looked happy, as if you were having fun playing some kind of game with these strange men. What were they talking about, and why did it seem so familiar, you didn't know, but it hurt your chest to hear yourself laugh. 

Since you came to the palace the childish games were over; so seeing this broke you in a certain way. Then you felt big hands taking the shoulders of your childish self, you laughed and named the stranger, but again the seemingly important words or names were cut off and erased, fragments remained of that stage of yours, which you did not know. 

"T■un□■ta□■u! hehehe you found me.... You were 3 seconds faster, though it's unfair because S■b□k always complains" Your words and voice were lively, sweeter and in comparison to the bitter words for this life you were leading. The stranger whose face was covered by the sunlight because you were in his arms, his shadowed face looked at you, his fanged lips smiled at you. 

His fangs glistened as a smile broke out on his face, laughing at your childish words. His voice was soft and warm, but no less gravelly and elegant, almost like the glow of the incandescent sun on you in the dream.

"You were well hidden, I could hardly find you. But I know your usual hiding places, little ch□■dr□n ■□ m■n." He said with lightness in his voice. One of his big hands moved to stroke your head, tousling your hair as he said this. Even though it was hidden behind the blinding light of the sun, you could still make out its outline....

It had a rather strange silhouette, horns coming out of its head and long wings behind it, something you only saw in forbidden books.... A dragon, but it didn't make sense that it was humanoid. 

In fact this whole situation confused you, unfortunately you came back to reality when the darkness swallowed you and you fell to the ground with a sharp blow, the dragon's scale no longer shining as brightly as before. You got up carefully, you were a mess in every sense of the word if you looked at yourself in a mirror. 

Picking that thing up carefully, you wonder if this is what made you see that. Are those your memories from when you weren't here? But it didn't make sense, the empress said she found you with two elderly brothers who were farmers, so why - why were you having these weird flashbacks? 

You sat on the old bed, holding the dragon scale in your hand and looking at it. Your head was throbbing and your thoughts were a mess. That vision... it was so vivid, like a memory... But how could it be a memory? You come from those farming families, the empress herself had said so... Though knowing her character, she could lie to you as she did about your mother's death. 

Those two men in the vision, you couldn't make out any details about them. But why did you feel so close to him in that dream? Besides you had already seen him when you fell asleep on the balcony, is everything connected...?

"Phew, I better go or I might get punished... But I can't leave this here, if they come to clean up, which is rare, they might see it, maybe I should take everything left of this old place" You put the dragon scale in your secret pocket inside your breasts, just when you were about to leave, you also saw the letters hidden under so much trash and dust. Some were torn and some were stained with ink. 

Your look is nostalgic, really when you were a simple and silly girl you didn't know how to hide things. So you took them, on your way out you took caution in looking both ways down the dark subway corridor and when you saw the shores clear, you left.

You exited the subway, making sure that no one was there, before leaving. As you did so, you returned to your room as quietly as possible. You hoped that the party was over and everyone was too drunk to notice your absence... 

As you walked through the halls, your mind kept thinking about that memory, if it was one. You had so many questions about it, about your past self and who you really were before you turned 6. It was so clear, so real... But who were they? What if... Was it all a strange fantasy of yours? Now you have a faint fragment of hope in you, even if it's vain and selfish. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by the empress waiting for you in your room, you panicked hiding the old letters and anything suspicious, she looked at you with false elegance and the lunar shadow did not help your fear to diminish.

"W-what are you doing here? I thought you were with the emperor"

You whisper avoiding looking at her, she stood up, unaware that there was your faithful maid. A maid who barely entered months ago and quickly befriended you with insistence; but that doomed her like many. Now she's dead on the floor, again you lost another ally, though you tried to prevent anyone from coming to you, trying to be nice when you couldn't afford that, it's a weakness the empress would exploit. 

Said woman continued to look at you with a cold stare, the false elegance on her face unchanged.

"Watch your tone of voice, princess." He said in a cold voice. His cold green eyes scanned you, observing your ragged and disheveled appearance with an almost mocking look on his face.

"I heard about what happened between you and the marquis earlier, my dear." You swallowed bile cursing everyone and her for that false sweetness in her voice. She took a step towards you and her tone quickly changed to a higher pitched one.

"You know how much I despise it when you embarrass me like that."

Her hands went to your bare, messy shoulders, your hair was ragged and that only added to her condescending tone, mocking your messy appearance. You bit your lips, she knew everything, she always does. You're more sure that damn dog Duboff made a fuss complaining about you, you just expected the worst in situations like that.

 "W-what's wrong with it, Your Highness? I only defended myself, or are you afraid of rumors? For example... That you don't take good care of me, and even if I AM THE EMPEROR'S DAUGHTER! You still treat me badly-" Her nails finished digging into your skin as a warning but you were so fed up that you continued.

"And yes I did, I don't give a damn anymore anyway, that dog deserved it! He's a scumbag, he wanted to abuse me, hahaha you don't even care about my image, only yours and your ego-Urgh!" A slap echoed in the empty room. The empress snarled with a contorted face, you laughed internally as you watched her lose her composure, she was a fucking bitch to you. 

It was quite satisfying to see the empress lose her composure in this way. Her face contracted in anger, a complete contrast to her normally reserved and cold demeanor. She had just slapped you, leaving a red mark on your cheek.... but you couldn't help but laugh at this. Seeing her lose control like this was almost funny.

The empress snarled at your laughter, the anger and irritation clear on her face. She moved closer to you, grabbing your hair and tugging on it. 

"How dare you talk to me like that... You're a dirty bastard blood!"

The empress's face was now contorted with anger, frustration and humiliation. After all, how dare you speak to her like that, especially at a party meant to celebrate her benevolence? You should thank her for even existing, but here you were like a brazen rat. 

"You ungrateful, insolent bitch!" She spat, tugging at your scalp and grabbing your cheeks hard so you could look her in the eye. 

"How dare you speak to me like that, I who have given you everything! Your position as princess, your meals, your clothes, let it be clear to you that you are inferior to me, without my help the emperor wouldn't care about you!"  

"... I didn't want to be this! Do you know how many nights I starved to death just because you and those maids wanted me to? You don't know anything, my life is not really mine but I'm running out of patience, even when I wanted to run away, you didn't let me... I begged you, but no more!"

"You're a-" Her hand reached up to hit you again but when you tried to pull away she only abused you more until it hurt all over, then complained about your rebelliousness and savagery.

He continued to prattle on about your insolence, debating whether he should kill you or not, but decided to leave, only punishing you by locking you in the room and ordering that no one was to come in or go out to feed you for a week. 

You got up when she left, she might as well kill herself and you wouldn't care. After a while, you changed your clothes after a relaxing and decent bath, no insults or dirty water. You were self-sufficient enough, since you were treated like a maid when you first arrived, you did everything. 

At the end of the night you lay staring at the letters on your bed, those letters written by you that for some reason you don't quite remember why you did it. "Ahh... what a day this was." 

You were left in your room, alone once again. The empress had left you with a burning cheek and a week of hungry solitary confinement. But it didn't matter, you were used to it.

With slow steps to the bed, you plopped down on the bed and then settled in, your eyes drifting to the old letters scattered on the bedspread. They were written in childish scribbles, but somehow they had some meaning. Why did you write this? And to whom? You had long forgotten the reasons behind it... You had priorities, like not dying for that woman's whims. 

With nothing to do, you decided to read them, starting with the one with the oldest date and paper. The letter began somewhat disorganized, it read like this:

March 23, first date of the solar calendar.  'It happened again today, I miss you Tsunotarou so much..... Mairy yelled at me again, you know, I know I'll never give you these letters but I hope someday to see you so I can read them for you, although I think it's more for convenience.  Nobody wants me here, I shouldn't have run away from home, Uncle Lilia was right. Humans are not the same, much less easy to understand. They are like me, physically they are but they don't act like I thought they would. Everyone says I'm a dirty blood worse than a commoner, Sebek was right when he said we are bad, but I'm not like that.  

Your expression softened but mostly out of confusion and the feeling that comes from reading this. So that's what the nickname you were talking about in the dream was... That silhouette was Tsunotarou? You didn't know but your head hurt thinking about it and even for some reason you got stuck trying to say that nickname, but still you continued reading.

 April 16 of the solar calendar  'I'm very sad, I hardly remember Uncle Lilia anymore, I'm very afraid. Tsunotarou... what if I forget you too? I don't want that, so I'll keep writing letters, so maybe my adult self will read them, I hope everything gets better, because today they made me mop the floor and the housekeeper punished me for something I didn't do. The older maids threw water and cow dung on my floor, when I had already cleaned it, I really want to come back to you Tsunotarou'.

Your expression became somewhat inexplicable, you felt the tears fall again for no apparent reason, you did not understand this feeling. Perhaps compassion for your previous innocent self, who was hurt and crushing your spirit to become what you are today.

The cards only continued to get worse. Your past self was young and innocent, so full of optimism and hope, but instead was only met with suffering. She was treated like dirt, forced to do tasks she wasn't cut out for, and others around her bullied her...and no one did anything to stop it. Your heart ached as you read the letter from your past self, and tears streamed down your face as you read it.

You clenched the letter tightly in your hand, your heart felt heavy in your chest... You didn't know if you wanted to keep reading because you were honestly so devastated by the constant abuse you've normalized, but reading all this just makes you feel sorry for yourself. 

Still, you catch a glimpse of one letter in particular lying on the corner of your bed, it's crumpled and musty as if it had been wet. Trembling you pick it up reading it and it just opens up another memory you had blocked out for yourself.

XX December of ... ??? 'Tsunotarou... I no longer remember why or why I am writing this, who are you, that I am writing this to you? I don't know, maybe it was all a dream and you, Tsunotarou whoever you are, don't exist. Last week I was caught trying to escape, but I don't remember the reason for it. Honestly it's all confusing so I'll stop writing these meaningless letters. I just know I've been hiding them, so I have to respect that about myself.... Well, this is goodbye. 

Now you remember! This is the last letter you wrote, you only know you finished it because of the first line, that nickname, you wrote it weeks before and you don't remember much. Suddenly your head starts to hurt and you get a lot of cut memories that make you cry in pain.

As you read that last letter, you were hit with a flood of memories. They came back vividly, but it was still a little fuzzy in your mind. 

You remembered why you wrote the letters. You were writing to him, that man you played with in the woods in your dream. You remembered him... and you remembered his nickname. Tsunotarou. Even the mere thought of it made your head throb. But as the memories slowly came back, you couldn't help but sob at the truth of all the events and the realization of it. 

What little you know of this is due to the only clues you had. With determination, you were determined to seek the truth behind your whole life and your lost happy childhood, so these days where the empress locked you up, you would flee through the secret corridors you had discovered in this room since you lived in it. 

Wandering the aisles of the library in the middle of the night, you were looking for books on magic or creatures of that kind, which were burned years ago by the wars, it was hard to find them. 

Despite feeling so tired, your heart was beating with determination. You knew you had to find the answers behind everything. It was time for you to find out the truth about your past and the real reason why you were here. You had so many questions running around in your mind....

But it was already late and you could already feel the tiredness invading your body after searching the library, so you walked with your books in hand through the corridors until you reached your room. With a tired sigh, you lay down on your bed, thoughts still running through your head as you slowly drifted off into an intermittent sleep...

And so for the rest of the week, you went to the basement to see if there was anything else but there was not. Then you rummaged through the housekeeper's room finding the strange bag that you now had in your room, in front of you. 

There was a strange old stuffed animal, some exotic flowers you didn't know about, a map crumpled and yellowed from years but most surprising were the many dragon scales in a jar. 

This was definitely yours, but why would you have this here? It didn't make sense and besides there were 2 books downstairs, one had drawings of 4 men, three of them with pointed ears and one was like the silhouette in your dream, with horns. 

The other was a human like you but wore a uniform; also, the second book had strange spells in it. The spell book was like the few pieces of page you found in the library on the hidden side. Thoroughly checking between pages, you saw a piece of paper with something written on it, there was also a drawing made by you most likely, underneath the apparent lullaby. 

Something about the drawing of the horned man seemed strangely familiar to you, though you didn't know why. Maybe there was a connection between him and that man in your dream... Curious, you read the writing on the paper, although due to the bad handwriting and scribbles on it, it was difficult to read.

You let go of the paper from your hands because your head started to hurt, a male voice echoed in your erased memories. It was a quiet place, a comfortable bed and finally you saw black tinted lips and fangs, he sang you that song but again, his face was blurred. 

You gripped the paper once again tighter, your head throbbing from the strange memory that came over you. The memory was fuzzy, but it was still clear enough that you could make out the vague silhouette of a man, fangs and lips tinged with black. He was singing that song to you, his voice soft and comforting.

Te agarraste la cabeza, tratando de recordar más, pero el dolor de cabeza sólo pareció empeorar. ¿Por qué tus recuerdos volvieron repentinamente a ti una vez más, y fue realmente Tsunotaoru, el hombre que te parecía tan familiar...? No lo sabías así que simplemente te volviste a dormir, cayendo profundamente

The breeze on your face welcomes you back, dazed you open your eyes seeing that you were now on a marble table near the oak tree. Confused you wake up and this time you see that you are not a teenager, more like a girl, this confuses you a lot.

Walking aimlessly, you hear in the distance in the same oak tree or further on, in the tulip field, someone singing, that same song you read in that paper.

I know you I walked with you once in a dream I know you That look in your eyes is such a familiar gleam. And I know it's true, that visions are rarely what they seem.

The tune was different, but undoubtedly it is the same voice and the same place as when that little girl in the dream led you there, the same person singing that lullaby. 

But I know you I know what you will do You will love me once and for all As you once did in a dream

You kept moving forward, the smell of flowers filled your nose and as if taking the place of the girl who you assume is your inner self, you continue moving towards the figure on the hill, standing among so many flowers looking at the sun.  

But I know you I know what you do You love me at the same time As you once did in a dream I know you I walked with you once in a dream 

The wind was soft and cool against your skin as you walked through the tulip field. The sweet smell of flowers filled the air and the sun hung high in the sky, casting a warm glow over the surroundings. As you continued walking, you heard that familiar song echoing in the air.

 "Who are you really?" you whisper in that childish little voice, this time you control this body and even if you expected an answer, there is only silence.

The closer you got, the more your heart pounded in your chest. And then, you finally saw it: a tall horned figure standing a few feet away from you.

Something in his majestic, magical and calming presence made you cry. At this moment you became a little girl taking the place of your inner self, now you just wanted to hug that man and run in his arms, like a game.

"Tsunotarou... that's what your name is?" those simple words made the horned figure look at you, with a slow step he walked up to you bending down to look at you.

The stranger smiled at you as he bent down to your level. He gently wiped away your tears with his thumb, his gaze warm and affectionate.

"Yes, it's me" he whispered in response. 

"I have missed you so much." This time your inner self spoke for you, since you wouldn't be able to understand its identity or the feelings it provokes in you, but you don't want to push it away either.

The man dressed in black hugged you tightly, squeezing you close to his chest. It was a protective embrace and you could feel the love and affection in his touch.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to see you again, the clues I left you in your dreams, do you still have doubts my little girl?"

You nodded as you let yourself be carried by him, all your stress or bitter attitudes gone. There is only you and that lost innocence. 

"Sorry if I don't understand anything, it's just that I forgot you and that frustrates me" This time you spoke from your heart, with the truth. Without lying to anyone much less yourself and he seemed to understand. 

"Everything will have an answer, but I've missed you too, I can't be near you because I wouldn't know how to control myself, I may lose control if I see you more than I should" His whispers sounded melancholy and plaintive, but deep down his tone threatened to overflow into madness and rage. 

"Then why didn't you come for me? I don't remember but I feel like I sink into a sadness thinking about you" This time he kept silent, his face you couldn't see but you felt the tension in his body. 

"...There were reasons beyond my power that prevented me from that, besides if I went after you I could have accidentally killed you in my rage looking for you."

Despite his words you felt disappointed with him, you still decided not to hate him, you didn't want to be a bad person, no matter how bitter you were. 

"I understand... But could you answer me something, why don't I remember you well? I know you had something to do with me however, I don't remember, much less know who I was before what I am now."

The strange man again took your face in his hands and you saw why you couldn't see him, there was a mist blurring his face. 

"I don't think it's time yet, but I assure you that in a few weeks you will know... Until then, I will see you and answer your questions, my little daughter of man. Because we saw each other in a dream-" 

You wanted to keep asking but he kissed your forehead and you fell into a dream within your dreamlike sleep, finally waking up hyperventilating. 

"... Fuck I couldn't ask him his real name."

[janeyseymour]

Enchanted

I was working my double shift at the restaurant when Enchanted by Taylor Swift came on, and this was born...

Summary: Ava begs you to go to a school event. You dread the night, but you quickly find that you're enchanted to meet a feisty redheaded teacher there.

WC: ~1.8k

Ava, your best friend, is currently begging you to come to one of the events she has to attend for her school.

“Please, Y/N,” she pleads. “If at least fifty people don’t show, my ass is on the line! This is the first job I actually like!”

“What do you even do there?” you chuckle. “I see you go live on Instagram constantly.”

“I’m running a school and being an influencer!” she snorts. “Please, Y/N.”

“What can you offer?” you ask as you file your nails.

“After, we can go out to the clubs?”

“I’m done drinking for a while after the last time we went out together,” you roll your eyes.

“I’ll… pay for your next manicure?”

“I’m getting a new set,” you grin.

“Whatever,” she groans. “Just show up to the school by seven so I can count you as a head.”

“You’re a pain in my ass.”

“Your favorite pain in the ass, otherwise you wouldn’t have stuck with me all these years,” the principal rolls her eyes.

“I think I got stuck with you, is more like it.” The truth is, you had grown up with Ava as a neighbor. Your families often had dinners together, and even splurged on one big ‘family’ vacation together when the two of you were thirteen. It was the best week of your life, and you really don’t know where you’d be without the spunky and full of live woman by your side. 

So here you are, at Abbott Elementary, for some sort of fundraiser- and it isn’t one that you particularly wish you were at. Sometimes, Ava came through for this school and knew how to threw a child-friendly party, but this is clearly not the case with this one.

You’re engaging in friendly conversation with Janine and Jacob, forcing laughter and faking your smiles. You glance over to where Ava is interacting with one of the sponsors, clearly schmoozing them.

“Oh, there’s Melissa!” Jacob grins. “Melissa!” he waves the woman over.

Not expecting anything, you turn to glance at the woman the history teacher is calling over, and the vacancy that was in your eyes as you listened to Janine drone on immediately vanishes.

The two of you lock eyes as she crosses the room to greet her coworkers. There’s a spark in her eye that whispers, ‘Have we met?’ and you can’t help but smile at her as she makes her way over.

“Melissa!” Janine grins.

“Hey, kid,” she replies without taking her eyes off of you. Then she directs her words towards you. “Melissa. Schemmenti. You are?”

“Y/N,” you tell her softly, hoping she doesn’t hear the waver in your voice. She’s taking your breath away.

“Why’re you here?”

“I- Ava’s my best friend. I’ve been to a few of these fundraisers,” you tell her. “But I’ve never seen you around. Are you a new teacher?”

“If working here for the last twenty years is new,” she playfully retorts. You catch her eyes glance at your outfit, memorizing it. “I need a drink. You want one?”

You nod, thankful for an escape from the two younger teachers. You follow her to the bar.

“Lemme guess,” she looks you over again. “Seltzer girl?”

You can tell in her voice that she might judge you if you tell her she’s absolutely correct, so you shake your head. “I was actually thinking a Yuengling tonight.”

“Pretty and has good taste in beer?” she looks impressed. 

You turn nearly as red as the woman’s hair. “It’s just a Yuengling.”

“Didn’t strike me for that though,” she shrugs before ordering two beers. The two of you clink your bottles together before taking simultaneous sips. “Easy on the eyes, likes a good beer… friends with Ava?”

“Not by choice,” you quickly remark. “More like stuck with her since we were five.”

“I didn’t realize you were the same age as Coleman,” she notes. “You look much younger.”

“My secret is that I don’t work with kids,” you joke.

“That would do it,” she chuckles. “I had gray hair by the time I was twenty five from working at this school.”

You find that you really enjoy talking to this Melissa Schemmenti character. She finds that she loves that you’re able to keep up with her quick remarks and can usually deal it right back. You spend the night in a corner with her, tossing jokes back and forth, and it’s almost like you’ve been passing notes in secrecy during class. 

“Y/N!” Ava calls as she makes her way over to you. You have to bite back a groan at your friend for interrupting this time with perhaps your new favorite Abbott teacher. “Melissa! You came!”

“Been here for two hours, Ava,” the redhead rolls her eyes.

“I see you met my bitch,” the principal raises a suggestive brow. She knows you’re into redheads, and she also knows that you’re exactly Melissa’s type- a hot, quick to remark, decisive woman.

“Not your bitch,” you stick your tongue out at your best friend.

“You’re here, ain’t you?” she grins. “My bitch.”

“You’re a pain in my ass,” you tell her for the fifth time that night.

“Yeah, but you love me,” Ava chuckles.

“Do I?”

“Well, if you don’t love me, who do you love?”

“I am painfully single, and you know it, Coleman,” you roll your eyes. Underneath your tough exterior though, you know the question of ‘Who do you love?’ is going to linger in your mind for the rest of the night.

Melissa subconsciously licks her lips. So you’re hot, you drink a good beer, you know how to give it right back to Ava, and you’re single? This just keeps getting better and better for her.

“You could have anyone you want. You’re just picky,” the principal retorts. “Anyway, this party is lame, so I was thinking we ditch it and go out!”

“You’re the principal,” Melissa reminds her. “You have to stay til the end.”

“Who says?”

“The superintendent who is already hellbent on trying to get your ass fired,” the second grade teacher remarks.

“Shit, girl,” your best friend groans. “You’re right.”

“I also already told you I was done drinking for a while.”

“You have a beer in hand,” Ava points out.

“Well…” you shrug. “Melissa asked if I wanted anything to drink, and I figured I could handle a beer. I will not be able to handle fireball shots like I know you want to take.”

“How much longer does this go to?” the redhead asks.

“Til ten, so… an hour longer.”

“I’m gonna need another beer.”

The redhead stays until everyone clears out, keeping you company. You truly don’t want this time with her to end. 

Ava heads to her office to grab your things, and you sigh when you realize that your time with Melissa is quickly coming to an end.

“It was really nice to meet you,” you say quietly to the woman who’s stuck by your side all night.

“Enchanting,” she smiles back at you with a wink. She grabs her bag and heads out. You watch her as she goes. You really were enchanted to meet her.

“So, Melissa,” Ava wiggles her eyebrows as she locks her office.

“We were just talking,” you roll your eyes. “Can I go now?”

“Yeah, just let me know when you want to go get your nails done,” she tells you dryly. Then she gives you one of the softer looks that she usually only reserves for those who are especially close to. “And seriously… thank you for coming.”

“Once again, I’m stuck getting you out of ridiculous situations,” you joke with her.

“Like it’s your job,” she quips.

“I’ll give you a call soon,” you tell her as you turn on your heel.

You’re laying in bed, Ava’s question running through your head for the thousandth time this night.

Who do you love?

You glance at the clock, and 2 AM is staring back at you. Jesus Christ.

You wonder about who you love until you’re no longer tired. You love your family, you love your friends, you love Ava… but who would be the one that you truly love and want to spend the rest of your days with? You have no idea. All you know at this very moment is that intoxicating redhead that stood by your side tonight is in your head and stealing all of your thoughts.

Giving up, you get out of bed and head into your kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea. You’re pacing back and forth as you wait for the water to heat when you hear something that sounds sort of like a knock on your front door. Your brain tells you that you hope it’s Melissa- but realistically, you know it’s that stupid tree branch that hits the window when it’s windy out.

You let yourself fantasize about what it would be like to open the door and her standing there. You imagine that all she would say is a simple, ‘hey’. It’s past 2 AM now, what else would she say if she showed up at your door?

All you know is that you were enchanted to meet that gorgeous second grade teacher. You had blushed all the way home that night thinking about the different things that she had whispered to you- her jokes, her snarky remarks, that infectious laugh where she would throw her head back and bring her hand to her chest. A night that you had dreaded ended up being flawless. You wonder if she felt the same way. Maybe you would have to ask Ava for her number. No, she’s probably in a relationship- someone like her would have to be. There’s no way she’s single. But you let yourself think about what it could be like with her. 

As you settle down on your couch, you wonder if there are any more events that are upcoming for the school. Hopefully, you would be able to see her again- that tonight was the very first page of a new chapter in your life, and not where the storyline ends with that woman. You know she’s going to be on your mind until you see her again, or at least get to hear about her through Ava.

You mentally kick yourself for holding back what you had wanted to say to her as you were leaving. You should’ve asked her for her number- if she wanted to meet you for dinner or another drink. But you didn’t. Because you didn’t know if she was in love with someone else. If she had somebody waiting on her. 

Maybe you’ll ask Ava about her another day. But for now, you quietly whisper, “Please don’t be in love with someone else. Please don’t have somebody waiting for you.”

Part 2

[simply-wlw-kpopstan]

4. Accident

⚠️ Spoilers ahead

You woke up and groaned lightly at the light peeking in from behind the curtains. You buried your face in the mass of hair that was in front of you and shifted closer to the warm source, the soft scent of cinnamon and sigarets were just lulling you back to sleep until realization hit you.

Sometime in the night, you and harin got closer and ended up cuddling. Harin’s back was pressed against you, your thigh wedged between her legs and an arm loosely over her waist.

You try to pull away slightly, but all you end up doing is accidentally rubbing your thigh against her 'causing harin to moan lightly in her sleep. Luckily for you she doesn't wake up and you try again, shifting more slowly this time and you manage to escape the bed without waking her up and got ready for the day quietly.

As you walk into the living room you see eunjeong sitting on the couch with her headphones on. You walked closer to her and tapped her on her shoulder, she jumps a little at the touch and shifts the headphones slightly so she can hear you. "What's up?"

"How's your foot?" you nodd towards her leg that's taped, "think you can walk on it to get a coffee?" She smiled and nodded.

"sure, let me grab my bag first." when she left the room you walked towards the window that stretched across the suite, the sun was rising and there were a few people jogging downstairs. If you have the time later you'll go for a run, who knows what you'll find along the way." ready? " eunjeong's voice startled you and you both laughed it off.

"Let's go." you left the suite and ran into yerim and suji at the coffee shop. The air was pretty awkward when nobody said a word as you waited for your orders. It seems like luck was on your side when they call out your order number. "so what's going on between you and yerim? Are you fighting or something?"

"I'll tell you if you tell me what's going on between you and harin." she gave you a knowing look as she sipped from her cup.

"Okay so no talking then. Got it."

"what is it that she has on you?" She watched your expression closely, searching for a sign that could confirm her suspicion. "it looks like you're being protected by her or maybe she's just keeping you for her entertainment. I heard about the clay incident, that must've been hard. Did she ruin one of your pieces?"

"no. It wasn't like that. It's complicated." lie. It was simple, you like her and have been sneaking around in a certain way. You don't know what you are, no matter what harin says there will always be a voice doubting her. " I met her before I came here and she was not like how you know her, I didn't see that side of her until a few weeks ago."

"you like her?" judging by eunjeong's voice she wasn't judging you like you thought she would. "you liked her and then you got to know her other side but it was too late wasn't it?"

You just nodded at her question, no words needed to be said to confirm. " it's crazy right? I hate that I still see the good in her when I know what she's done."

"well, I'm ignoring yerim because I want her to debut."

"I'm sorry for saying this but that doesn't make any sense."

"yerim was against the game from the beginning and harin didn't like that. But since yerim comes from a powerful family harin couldn't just make her an F so she uses her debut against her. I know that me and yerim are obvious but I want her to achieve her dream of debuting."

"so that's what she got on you." you said it more to yourself then to eunjeong but she nodded anyways.

"all I want to say is just be careful. It seems like this thing between you is the only way of her having a hold on you. I'm not saying she doesn't like you but...."

"I know. Trust me there's a little voice in the back of my head whenever she's sweet to me. It's constantly reminding me to keep my guard up just in case. "

"well as long as you listen to it you'll be fine." she smiled and you both finished your drinks as you made your way back to the hotel.

Harin was nowhere to be found but you assumed eunbyeol was with her since she was gone too. You still had 10 minutes before you had to go downstairs, paintball would sound fun if it wasn't with this group of people. A lot has happened and you knew today would be a recipe for disaster. Your only hope was that harin kept her word but That hope was shattered the moment eunbyeol announces you were playing for a replacement F and a penalty. As the game starts everyone scatters around and you tried to find harin to ask what all this was about but you couldn't seem to find her. There were times when someone passes you without shooting and you start to wonder why nobody had any paint marks when you heard shots a couple of seconds ago.

You walk inside a building and heard shots and voices talking. Not just any voice, harin. You walk up to the corner and took a peek to see her standing in front of jaeun who had multiple paint shots on her shirt, was that her plan? Shoot Jaeun so she'd get a penalty? You knew that eavesdropping wasn't really nice but did it matter in this situation? Harin had asked jaeun something about her mom and then told her to betray her friends. That's when it clicked, jaeun and suji's room were all black vests. The alarm sounds and they both leave before you could talk with harin.

In the end it's jaeun, suji, jaehyung, jiae and eunjeong. It doesn't take a genius to know eunjeong took the fall for yerim and that jiae was set up. As eunbyeol explained the penalty you looked over to harin but she wouldn't turn towards you. Out of nowhere jiae begins to shoot herself and it takes everyone by Suprise and then it's followed by the rest doing the same. You couldn't help the smile as they took turns confessing and then jaeun begins and for a second you think she was going to confess what she did to harin but she freezes and suji shoots her, claiming she looks evil next to her and they continue to shoot each other. You looked at harin once again to see her holding back her anger. As you're watching her you notice eunbyeol talking to dayeon and before you realize it she's fighting with eunjeong.

You immediately run towards them but sadly you were to late as dayeon throws her against the wooden panel, "are you fucking crazy?" you yelled at dayeon as you pulled her away.

"what? You think I won't hurt you because harin told us not to? Try me and find out. " she spat on the ground at your feet.

"Someone call 911!" suji yelled from behind you. You turned back and saw the blood coming from eunjeong's leg, you didn't care about the consequences and pushed dayeon back. She stumbled backwards at the force but managed to keep standing.

"you fucking bitch!" She yelled as she charges at you and both of you fall to the ground. You tussled on the ground for a moment but managed to land a hit and overpowered her quickly.

"stop it!" harin spoke and it turned your attention towards her for a second too long. Dayeon quickly hits you and you can feel it connect with your cheekbone. No matter what happens you won't just roll over because she wants you to so you ignore her, landing another punch before staff members of the facility pulled you off of dayeon.

"do neither of you feel sorry for what you did?" you yelled to dayeon and harin, "and you!" you turned towards eunbyeol, "I saw you! Don't even think about saying you didn't do anything. If you didn't tell dayeon whatever it was you told her, all of this wouldn't have happened."

Everything feels like a blur as they take eunjeong to the hospital. One of the staff members takes a look at your cheek since it was already bruising and gave you an ice pack to reduce swelling. Your eyes fall on harin who was standing near the entrance, watching you as the woman applies an ointment. After that you're free to go and you walk the other way to ignore harin. The bus ride back to the hotel is silent, nobody dares to say anything after today's events.

Suji walks up to you in the hotel lobby and drags you away by your arm, as she pulls you towards the corner you see harin stare at the two of you and swear you could see her eyes twitch from where you're standing. "thank you for standing up to dayeon and the others." she smiles a little, "I talked with the others and we wanted to ask if you wanted to stay in our suite instead of yours."

"I'll think about it."

"aren't you worried they'll do something to you?" She frowned.

"not really. But if things do get weird I'll text you and I'll come join the sleepover" you joked and you both managed to loosen up a bit and laugh. "I think you have a big shot at stopping the game."

"you can still help us you know. Never too late."

"I don't want to get dragged into this eventhough I did just jump in the middle of it," you smile and rub the back of your neck, "Just know if you need a vote to stop this you got mine."

You end up talking about eunjeong for a little while before parting ways. As you're headed to your suite you hope harin isn't in the living room that way you can shower peacefully before having to deal with her anger. You successfully escape to the bathroom without being seen but heard harin's voice pass by when you closed the door.

Once you step out the shower you take in your bruise on your face, the throbbing feeling was returning as the painkillers were wearing off. It wasn't too bad but it wasn't pretty either. Thank god for that staff member that gave you some ice and ointment or else the swelling would've been much worse. You reach your hand up to touch the skin around but flinch at the pain, looks like you won't be able to lay on that side for a little while.

The moment you walk in your bedroom harin is laying on the bed, staring out the window with her arms crossed, "about time you showed up."

"didn't know you were waiting for me." you lied and you both knew it.

"why were you talking with suji?" She moves to the side of the bed as she watched you walk over to your suitcase.

"because she wanted to talk to me and unlike some people she tells me the truth." was it a low blow? For sure but you couldn't care less. she had promised you that there wouldn't be any bullying, you had a feeling she wouldn't keep it but to go this far? Eunjeong was in the hospital because of her game, she could've stopped dayeon but she didn't.

"What's that supposed to mean?! I didn't lie to you." she got off the bed and made you look at her. "are you helping her?"

"no. But maybe I should." you stood up and got closer to her, your face just an inch away from hers. It was clear she was mad at you but there was also a trace of hurt in her eyes. " you promised me harin. You wouldn't hurt anyone and now eunjeong is in the hospital, Her chances of a swimming career might be gone! All because of your dumb game!"

"it isn't dumb!" She gritted her teeth and you knew this could end bad for you. No matter what happens you would end up at suji's and jaeun's tonight. "eunjeong chose to defend yerim and after that she chose to stop dayeon. Those are not my choices and I didn't tell dayeon to do anything."

"did you talk to them like you said you would? Like you promised me?" you stepped away from her to get dressed but she followed you anyways. "you didn't did you? I was there when you shot jaeun, when you told her to betray her friends harin."

"she deserved it."

"did she? You were both 9, she didn't know any better! Sure she's guilty of some stuff too but you've done so much worse lately. You're not even sorry for what happened today!"

"she shouldn't have! -" she raised her voice but you cut her off.

"what about me?!" your voice cracked and you swear you could see a flash of guilt in her eyes. "I stepped in too, dayeon and I fought and the only thing you did was tell us to stop once. You could've done that before dayeon hurt eunjeong but you didn't."

"I don't care about eunjeong. I care about you. This is the first time I've felt this way and I didn't want to see you get hurt" she reached out to grab your hand but you pulled away.

"that doesn't mean it's okay. " you turned your head away from her as you thought back to your conversation with eunjeong this morning, " If there's anything that I've learned these past few days it's that I don't really know you."

"you do know me!"

"really? Because I never thought you would threaten to out a person. I talked with eunjeong this morning and she told me everything. Yerim was against the game from the start but you couldn't control her because of her family. The only thing you could do was destroy her chance to debute and then you found out about them." you grabbed all your stuff and threw it in your suitcase." jaeun might have hurt you when you were kids but that's no excuse for everything you've done. "

" wha- where are you going? We leave tomorrow."

" I can't stay in the same suite as you and your minions. Not after today. Whatever this was between us is done harin. " you feel your throat tighten and turn away from her to close your suitcase.

" no! You can't just walk out on me!" She followed you as you left the room. Doa looked up from her place on the couch and dayeon smirked as you walked past her.

" leaving 'cause you're scared i'll do something?" it was the first time you saw her after the fight and saw the damage you did. Dayeon had a busted lip and a bruise on her cheek, it wasn't as bad as yours and you were a bit disappointed by it.

"i'm leaving because I can't stand to look at any of you... Except for you doa." you gave her a soft smile and she nodded.

"understandable." she smiled.

"where are you going?" harin's voice was stern.

"none of your business." you opened the door and left the suite. A part of you was worried she would follow you and loose her shit when she sees you walk in suji's and jaeun's suite. She would find out either way but you'd appreciate a bit of peace and quiet before the storm. The moment you walk in the suite you see the girls surrounding yerim as she read something on her phone. Eunjeong was going to be okay but it was too soon to tell if she'd have to give up her swimming career or not. Jaehyeong soon lifted the mood by joking around and flirting with jaeun, maybe things could get better if you helped them out.

What would happen if harin lost her game? Could she lose? Her control goes beyond the school, she can change a person's life with just a single text. How far can she go? Better question, how far is suji willing to take this? Harin wasn't a nice person and yet you couldn't help feeling bad for leaving her. She already dealt with so much in her life and this game was the only thing that made her happy in some way. Time passes by fast and before you know it you're alone in the living room at night.

"What's on your mind?" yerim pulled you out of your daydreaming as she sat down on the opposite side.

"nothing." you gave her a quick smile, "you can't sleep?"

"not really." she looked down at her phone as it lights up.

"have you heard anything from eunjeong?" She shook her head and you just nodd, "i'm sorry for today."

"it's not your fault. I should be thanking you for defending her." she smiled lightly, "you could've just stood by and you wouldn't have gotten hurt." her eyes trail over the bruise as you waved her off. "aren't you worried harin will come after you?"

"don't worry about it."

"can't help it. Harin is dangerous, she's unpredictable. Add the drugs on top of it and it's-"

"drugs?"

"yeah, her vitamins? Don't tell me you didn't know." she looked at you in disbelieve, "everyone knows about it."

"I didn't."you look down at your hands." do you know what kind? "

" no. Sorry. Maybe you could ask her? She seems to like you"

"I think that ship has sailed after today." you end up talking for a few more hours about all sorts of things. As you lay down on one of the beds your mind goes over yerim's words. How did you not realize harin was taking drugs? Things started to click in your head. She took those pills throughout the day while most people take vitamins in the morning. Could her behavior be a side effect of the drugs? What kind did she take? Would she tell you if you asked? Probably not. The only person who might know is doa, she's very observant and her dad's a doctor. You closed your eyes as you thought about how you were going to bring it up. Doa was helping suji behind the scenes so if she knows she would tell you right? Guess you'll find tomorrow.

masterlist | next

[revehae]

two days ago, this blog turned two years old. well, that’s if you ignore the fact that i accidentally deleted my blogs this january. in spite of that, so many of you are still here with me and have been supportive even when i was quite literally losing my marbles. you guys have been patient through my periods of inactivity and reread my fics with the same amount of appreciation for them as you had the first read - if not more. and for that, i say thank you.

but i’m also saying goodbye.

just kidding! i was being serious for too long and so i felt the need to potentially strike some fear into someone’s heart for fun. anywho, no, i’m not actually leaving. not yet, anyway. there is so much more i want to do with this blog and so many ideas i want to share that will most likely carry on to the following year. so yeah, you guys are still stuck with me.

am i taking the two-year anniversary of a mostly k-pop tumblr blog teeming with dark, degenerate fantasies that ought to get me stoned by stubby, hairy ogres way too seriously? perhaps. but i’ll never forget what this blog means to me. i’m in a place now where my trauma is no longer something i feel suffocated by or bound to, but when i created this blog, i admit that there were still large parts of me that felt like i was “broken.” this was only possible because i found safe places where i could acknowledge it without fear of being judged, blamed, or attacked.

i realize not everyone has those places. one of the greatest delights i have is being able to own a blog where people with similar experiences as me are able to confront their pain in a way that makes them feel safe, comfortable, and most importantly, in control.

i went through periods of time where i wouldn’t even leave my room because i was so terrified of being subjected to the same nightmare again. i couldn’t go out in public, because when i did, i was constantly worried that someone was out to give me. this affected my relationships with my friends, family, myself, sex, the world - everything. it is a hell i wouldn’t even wish on Trumpington McDonaldton. or would i? just kidding. not really, considering his track record. but, back to the point, i know what it’s like to live in the dark. i know how unfair it is that someone can swoop in, ruin your life, and never, ever face consequences. meanwhile, you are staring at the consequences of what someone else did every single day. i know what it’s like to blame yourself. i know what it’s like to wish that things were different.

but i also know that as unfair as it is, as painful as it is, and as hard as it may be to accept, no one is going to single-handedly fix you. you have to be your own healer. you have to put the work in to build yourself back up and bounce back stronger than ever. i know firsthand how intimidating that can be, however, in my experience, the first step was not hiding from what i’d gone through. in a way that i originally never thought would be possible, writing and reading noncon fics was one of the most helpful ways of doing that. everything about this blog has been extremely cathartic for me. and the best part about it is that many of you have told me it’s cathartic for you as well, which fills me with a glee words cannot describe.

now, of course, my blog is not limited to Traumatized Individuals who had their brains rewired in the worst way possible via some negative experience - although i doubt you’re not still somehow traumatized if you religiously read my content. if you aren’t a victim of SA, you aren’t going to be crucified for reading noncon. it’s okay. don’t worry. but still, i will always support and stand up for those that are, even if they don’t cope in the same way as me. because not reading is also okay. there are so many different ways to cope with SA; i’m just happy to provide one of them to those that seek it out.

again, thank you all! thank you to those that have been here since the beginning. thank you to those that followed me this week. thank you to those who leave nice messages in my inbox, and reblog, and leave comments. thank you to my dearest sweet mutuals. thank you to those who followed me here from lisired and didn’t unfollow me when you realized i’m a little bit insane. thank you to those that read my fics over and over and never get bored! let’s heal together everyone. but let’s also be depraved and Scare The Hoes. and if you read all of this, i love you and i hope you get everything you ever wanted in life.

- with all of the love in the world, revehae!

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More Nimona headcanons because these dorks have taken over my brain

I feel like Nimona tried really hard to hate Ambrosius

The first month they knew each other Nimona tried so hard to antagonize him and poke fun at him and remind him of the shit he’s done wrong 

But it’s kind of hard to hate someone who’s slow to anger and quick to forgive 

Reminding someone of their past mistakes with the intent to hurt them kind of stops being fun when the person is constantly aware of their mistakes 

And owns up to them without making excuses and is constantly trying to undo the damage their mistakes caused  

After a while, he grows on her and she starts to trust him and in return he trusts her

This one is based heavily on me and my best friends 

Nimona and Ambrosius will talk shit loudly in public 

They won’t use code names and if they don’t know the person they’ll start describing them like “Did you see that dude in the yellow shirt? He just pushed that kid out of line what a dick!”

They won't check to see if the person is out of earshot either they simply don't give a fuck

And this gives Bal so much fucking anxiety enough that he starts pleading with them to stop

You hear them going off about something and Bal saying “Ambrosius love hun sunshine I’m begging you to keep your voice down” 

“Nim Nimona starlight hi I would like to remind you that they’re still behind us and I don’t want to explain to Ambrosius why you’ve gotten into another fight this week so please stop” 

To which Nimona responds with “Tell him he’ll probably laugh”

Whenever Nimona and Ambrosius want to rant they rant to each other 

Because Bal is the type of person to give advice in the middle of a rant 

Talking some “If you explain this to them in a calm and compassionate manner I’m sure they’ll stop”

And while that's excellent advice sometimes you just want to scream your most unhinged thoughts at someone 

And they never judge each other either 

Nimona can look Ambrosius dead in the eyes and go “Have you ever gotten so angry during an argument that you’ve considered lighting their car on fire?” 

And Ambrosius won't even think about it he’ll respond immediately with a “Who hasn't?” while Bal slowly backs out of the room and silently vows to hide his car the next time they fight 

Whenever Ambrosius comes home from a stressful day at work he just walks into the house and lets out the most dramatic drawn out sigh 

And whenever Nimona hears that noise they’ll run to the living room and sit on the couch patiently waiting for their daily rant session 

Whenever Nimona gets home and wants to rant he’ll walk around until he finds Ambrosius

And if he can't find him he’ll sit by Bal and stew in his anger while he waits for him to come home 

He can't even take one step through the door without Nimona saying something like “How dare you make me wait” 

And Ambrosius will always respond with something like “Oh I’m so sorry firecracker it’ll never happen again”

And encourage them to tell him the information they’ve been patiently waiting to spill

Bal doesn’t rant unless he’s literally at the end of his rope

Like you have to royally screw him over for him to go home and rant to his family 

When he finally rants to them they don’t make a big deal out of it 

But they do however try their best to take care of him without raising his suspicions 

Nimona will conveniently make Bal’s favorite dinner 

Ambrosius will just so happen to pick up his favorite dessert on his way home (cause they both know the signs of a Bal rant and they plan accordingly) 

They listen to his rant and let him eat his favorite food in peace while they play his favorite movies 

You know real wholesome shit 

All the while they’re coming up with plans in their head to destroy this person's life

[bedtimegiraffe]

I finally figured out why all the party members in Book 2 come out as so frustratingly self-focused to me.

It's not because they're all struggling with their own stuff. It's all about shelving your agenda- that thing in a relationship where you go, 'You need my support right now, so we're going to worry about my thing later.'

And MC does this constantly.

I just barely escaped death and found out a year passed, but is Kade recovered from the Shadow Court?

I just almost drowned, but it's time to comfort this owlbear cub and unpack Valax's trauma!

I just almost died twice to the Ash Empress, but is Nia coping with being corrupted okay?

Which can be okay. Shelving your agenda is part of a healthy relationship of any kind.

The problem is that no one does it back. I think Tyril and Nia kind of sum up the whole group's attitude:

But I don't think MC was ever going to be 'ready.' Someone else was always going to have to 'unshelve' it for them and make an effort to put the focus on MC.

Now, adventurers don't tend to be particularly well adjusted people. The full party has got maybe 1.5 healthy childhoods and 4 living parents between them (judged pretty generously). But it still feels like the others can't get it together enough to ask if MC is okay. Not that MC really makes it easy! I see MC as someone who is so used to pushing their feelings down to focus on whatever work is in front of them, they almost can't access their own emotions.

Which is why we had the brief glimpses of panic and the breakdown moment in Chapter 17. I think the breakdown makes sense mechanically. Kade is the one character your MC is guaranteed to have a strong connection to and this way it's not gated behind any diamond choices (like some really crucial character moments with Aerin and Valax, no I'm not bitter about it). But that makes it feel like the whole party has been neglecting MC while Kade immediately sees MC and goes, "Dude, you are not okay. Talk to me.'

And MC tries to turn it into comforting Kade! Kade has to actively argue with MC to make them actually acknowledge that they're having a hard time.

MC for some reason can't or won't talk about their own trauma and Kade (who's only been around for 5 minutes) is the one who has to actively force the issue for MC's own good. Which is not a great look for the rest of the found family.

Afterward, Mal and Nia both seem to address it without really getting the point. Mal says, "We know things didn't go the way any of us wanted." (Which could mean... anything. But I'm feeling generous.)

Protecting MC from death is not an equivalent exchange to talking about feelings! It is in fact dodging the feelings by focusing on practicalities again! Y'all better get it together in Book 3, I swear.

Overall, MC constantly delays addressing their own vulnerability and issues to focus on everyone else. And the others don't know how to do the same thing for MC, so the pattern just gets more engrained and damaging.

Except for Kade, my perfect boy.

Sources (they're fun, I promise!):

Screenshots from Neckrone Shen's playthroughs of Blades on YouTube, my go-to for whenever I can't remember something or don't have the screenshots myself.

I think @oh-so-youre-a-nerd's incredible piece 'Take Take Take' kept rattling around in my head until I figured out how to articulate why it felt this way: https://www.tumblr.com/oh-so-youre-a-nerd/736449955360899072/take-take-take?source=share

The language of 'shelving your agenda' came from the very good Cinema Therapy video about Kristoff from Frozen:

[hwnglx]

in light of their recent contract renewal, i thought i'd do a reading on the company's opinion on the members 💌 enjoy

jyp's favorite stray kids members

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

#1 felix most profitable member, heartbeat of the group. he keeps them going, gives them the drive to remain determined. also is very ambitious when it comes his career. they think he has this inner fire that's unleashed once he taps into work mode. the company puts a lot of thought and effort into figuring out how to market him, use him to his full potential. he's also like a sponge, absorbs all the member's energies.

#2 hyunjin very close to being no 1, lix just gives more favorite child. hj has the most star power, literally carries the group. in jyp's eyes, skz wouldn't be what they are without hyunjin's impact. he has an abundance of dreams and wishes, isn't easily satisfied and carries himself in a proud manner. knows what he can do for the group. but also, is the most cherished one within the members, someone they're very protective over. they care about him a lot.

#3 seungmin cares a lot about the group's harmony, willing to sacrifice his own beliefs and opinions for the sake of his members. very agreeable and easy to manage. like he just doesnt bring you any trouble, a company's dream.

#4 jeongin cutely enough, the most professional and mature when it comes to work. good at keeping a level head and separating his private life from his career. brings a lot of happy energy into the group, makes them more of a family. (they think skz would bicker more if it wasn't for him bringing a sense of joy into their dynamic) however, can be explosive unexpectedly, isn't afraid to raise his voice when necessary.

#5 bang chan very intuitive and smart, obviously a member in place of authority. makes the big decisions. constantly worrying and pondering over what to do next, how to keep up their momentum and hold on to their fanbase. good at mediating between the members and the company. can get hyperfixated on certain things and get very controlling or manipulative, knows how to get what he wants from the company. (basically uses the company's resources for skz's “own” good -> doesn't take jyp's opinion into consideration if he feels strongly about something. but obviously knows jyp benefits from their success too so = win win)

#6 lee know very close to being no 5. jyp thinks he's someone who dealt with a lot of losses and sadness in the past. was able to overcome it by keeping busy, he's amazing at balancing different priorities. makes it look very easy and effortless. has a quiet but strong inner confidence, doesn't let anyone stand in his way. doesn't insert himself into discussions too much and tries to remain balanced, only speaks up if he feels strongly about something.

#7 jisung i expected him to be higher, but jyp just struggles handling him sometimes. they think he isn't that reliable, very easily tired and hurt, needs a lot of mental breaks. unpredictable and unstable, you never know if you're gonna get drained or energetic jisung today. they think he's disconnected to his feelings a lot, a lot of numbness. jyp thinks he's a genius and could be one of the most popular members if he didn't stand in his own way. i can sense worry about the public not understanding and judging him. (the cards flew for him my god)

#8 changbin i just kept hearing “말 넘많아” which translates to “he talks too much” lol, they think he disagrees with almost everything the company says, always finds himself in conflict with them. just hard to handle. like, even if the entire group agrees, changbin can probably find something else to nag about and improve. they do acknowledge he plays a huge role for the emotional support in skz though. he's the rock for many members. he's good at reading them, speaking up for them, being their shoulder to cry and lean on. like a soft and gentle father figure.

tbh, i can't sense any animosity towards any members here. they all have a decent enough relationship with the company, their liking just goes towards some members more than others. i can tell they're very aware of how essential the group is for the company's brand, profit, reputation, etc.. so they definitely are very considerate towards them, and making sure they're all satisfied with what they get. the road wasn't all rainbows and butterflies though.. i can see a lot of discussions being held in the past, and skz needing to hold their ground firmly in order to get what they want.

[beanghostprincess]

Sanji transitions to a woman living her best life with her crew. The vinsmokes find out the typical reactions indifference (They're kind of like kaido. Yeah, they're terrible, abusive, neglectful but they're not transphobic Jud is but the siblings are not).

Her sister is upset that she never got to spend time with sanji as sister.

Ichiji doesn't like that she looks so much like their mother it makes his feel something he doesn't know what it is happiness sadness maybe both but not enough to truly care about his sister.

yonji feelings are complicated. He's really angry, really angry. Looking at her bounty just makes him scowl she looks so nice and pretty. She also looks so happy and free not worried about judgment or slander from family and peers he hates it. He hates this weird feeling and he hates sanji. She's happy and living her life with her loving and accepting crew and he's stuck at home unable to open up about anything without backlash

( the weird feeling is envy specifically gender envy. Trans girl yonji she would be the most cold hearted girl on the planet but she'd be so pretty)

Niiji stopped caring about Sanji when she left the second time. Her being a girl now doesn't change anything and besides you could see the signs from mars of course she's a girl. He used to watch her play with her sisters doll all the time before throwing them in the moat

Jud nobody cares about his opinion

Transfem Sanji my beloved yayyyyy I love these asks!!!!!!

Reiju would be extremely happy for Sanji, of course, but a bit sad she couldn't be able to help her sooner. Because maybe- And this is unfair but- If maybe Sanji had been born a girl, perhaps Judge would've let some of the stuff she did slide the way she let Reiju be a little bit more emotional. Everything would've ended up the same, yes, but Reiju can't help but wonder. And also, she's dying to see her and her crew again to finally spend time with her sister. She isn't sure if she'll ever be able to do it, but Sanji's wanted poster kind of keeps her hopes up.

Ichiji is conflicted. Because he shouldn't care about Sanji at all. He doesn't care. Is she a girl now? Good for her. Whatever. She can do whatever the fuck she wants with her life. And yet he keeps finding himself staring at her wanted poster rather often, and seeing her mom in her. And he- He didn't care about his mom either. She's dead. It doesn't matter. But there's just something about Sanji now that makes him feel... Warm and melancholic and he hates it. He tries to avoid the subject completely.

Ohmygod- I love the idea of trans girl Yonji being jealous of Sanji's life and having gender envy. That's- That's so good. She shouldn't be able to feel like this and she should not want these things like her sister but she wants to be like that. Be free like that. And that makes her so, so angry and violent and she's constantly talking shit about Sanji only to feel better but it only makes her feel worse.

Niji is... Complicated. Because he doesn't care. But I think he'd also be jealous of her. Like- Jealous of her being happy and free. But he accepts it better than Yonji because Yonji goes all sentimental and violent and visibly jealous about it while Niji tries to be more like "Huh? I don't give a fuck about her. Why should I? Why do we even keep mentioning her? And besides, you didn't know she was a girl? It was obvious from a mile away. Not that I care. Because I don't care. She rejected our pretty kind invitation to the family again because she's an ungrateful bitch, anyway" but he actually does care and it frustrates him but, anyway, it's not like she's here anymore so he doesn't think about her. I also think he'd be annoyed about her looking like their mom btw he says she doesn't deserve it since it was her fault she died (and then he realizes what he said and he shouldn't have said it because in theory, he doesn't care about their mom dying).

And you're right, nobody cares about Judge. But I think it'd be funny if he complained about Sanji and misgendered her all the time while the siblings keep getting the pronouns right and they kind of... Defend her? To some extent? They start to develop stronger feelings as time passes by and I just think it'd be great for them to finally lose it with their dad because "at least she managed to find herself, we don't even know who we're supposed to be" and it doesn't matter which one of them says it, because it affects all of them equally and they have the biggest identity crisis ever only because their sister finally is happy and they want to be like that too.

[active-mind-15]

Let's talk about Murasakibara as the youngest sibling

As we all know, Murasakibara canonically has four older siblings in the series, making him the fifth and youngest child in his family. So, as a fellow youngest child of my own family, I wanted to explore some headcanons/general observations I have in the context of him being the youngest child. I'll try not to project too hard but I make no promises. 🫶🏿

He is HEAVILY doted on. I think we can all agree on this because it's pretty obvious in the series that he is spoiled (I mean this both endearingly and derogatorily). That mindset probably came from all of his siblings taking care of things for him. But the downside to too much doting is that, outside of basketball, Murasakibara is not intrinsically motivated to do anything unless he gets a reward for it such as pocket money or sweets. I'm guessing the reason why he has such a sweet tooth in the first place is because his siblings would constantly bribe him with sweets to get him to do something. Fast-forward to Teiko, and he became a person who essentially wouldn't do anything they're asked unless they had sweets for him. Akashi is kinda guilty of fueling Murasakibara's sweet tooth with how often he shares sweets and snacks with him, but that was also their way of bonding. Himuro is worse, though. He will just straight-up be like "Atsushi, if you do this thing for me I will give you sweets." He's not even remotely ashamed about it.

He has a very set-in-stone hierarchy in his house. This would explain why he's so used to falling in line within the context of the basketball club. As the youngest, he has to obey his siblings and parents. This is why when he believes someone has authority over him, he follows them without question. But I'm sure that made him build up resentment, especially as a teenager. As a former teen myself, I hated being told what to do. So I'm sure Murasakibara lashing out at Akashi in 3rd year could be a result of pent-up frustration. When his skills drastically blossomed and he saw the power he held over Akashi in that regard, he decided to use it as a gambling chip to win his independence from the team, but it backfired.

He is not used to taking accountability because he has never been expected to be the "mature" one in his house. This frequently comes with the territory of being the youngest child. If you act out, it's often your older siblings that take the heat for your behavior because the older children are supposed to "know better". If two children are playing rough inside the house and break something, the older child is punished more because they were supposed to be the one to tell the younger child that playing rough inside wasn't a good idea. (It's a fucked up way of thinking but I've seen parents use this excuse to avoid holding themselves responsible for not raising their children correctly.) That being said, with four older siblings, I would expect that whatever trouble Murasakibara would get in would be pretty minimized in comparison to his siblings. Their parents would probably be so busy interrogating Murasakibara's siblings about why they weren't watching him or why nobody told Murasakibara not to do XYZ that by the time the attention trickles down to Murasakibara, his siblings have already gotten most of the flack for shit they didn't even do. Judging from the Replace Plus chapters, it seems like to make up for that, his siblings have taken up parental roles of their own to ensure that Murasakibara gets disciplined. In one of the chapters, Murasakibara mentioned that he had a fight with one of his older brothers. So, as punishment, his older sister took away his allowance. Clearly, his siblings do hold enough authority to make decisions like that regarding punishments. But I'm sure Murasakibara would then turn around and try to get his parents to overturn it (and maybe it works sometimes). This is why even after having that fallout with Akashi, they go back to their normal dynamic, but Murasakibara never truly apologized. Not as far as the viewers/readers are aware. So there always was that unsettling air hanging around the two of them even in high school. Things were never properly resolved for them. Not until much later.

I feel like he's a total snitch in his house. Younger siblings tend to be. Either to relish in their older siblings getting in trouble with their parents or because they have it so ingrained into them to be truthful that they just naturally don't lie. I remember in the OVA 41.5, Murasakibara instantly tattled on Aomine and Haizaki to Midorima when they were stuffing their dirty t-shirts into a locker and Midorima was wondering why the locker room smelled terrible. It didn't even seem malicious, Murasakibara was just objectively giving Midorima the answer he wanted. So I'm sure there have been times when Murasakibara has snitched on his older siblings when his parents interrogated him.

I feel like him being the youngest also plays into Murasakibara's fashion sense and how it's more 'juvenile' compared to the rest of the Teiko gang (I know Kise is also the youngest in his family but he's a model so his fashion sense is a direct result of being in that line of work). If you've ever seen official art of Murasakibara, a lot of his outfits are very cutesy. Overalls, baggy hoodies with cute characters on them, fuzzy boots, hats, and sweaters...he clearly embodies the lifestyle of the youngest child. He prioritizes comfort over everything, and it shows in what he wears.

Even the nicknames he gives to others and his way of speaking are very reflective of the youngest child. Shortening everyone's names and adding -chin to the end of it is probably something he does with his siblings at home (and maybe vice versa). And his way of speaking is very languid and carefree. He tends to drawl out his words very slowly, like he's in no rush to finish his sentence. And people could probably use this as evidence that he may be dull intellect-wise, but he's actually pretty intelligent and has gotten good grades when he applies himself, emphasis on applies himself. The problem is that he just doesn't give a fuck, so he doesn't try as hard in a lot of things even though he has potential. Someone usually has to push him to try, which circles back to my first point about him practically having to be bribed to do anything that's not related to basketball.

Overall, I think most of the negative traits that Murasakibara has in regard to youngest child syndrome will be things he grows out of as he gets older. I don't think my youngest child syndrome was ever as severe as Murasakibara's but I do relate to being doted on, having people constantly looking out for me, and not being used to taking care of others. I could be stubborn in my own right sometimes, on occasion even rude where I shouldn't have been, and my teen years were pretty rocky all the way through as I was figuring myself out. It took a lot of self-reflection for me to see that I had to change and in my latter teen years, I actively worked on my personality and my behavior. I also learned how to be more considerate of others and to step into the role of taking care of my friends and other family members. I still enjoy the perks of being the youngest in my family such as never having to worry about bringing my wallet out if I'm with my older siblings, but I still did take the time to mature and become an adult I'd be proud of. Eventually, I believe Murasakibara will lay that groundwork himself and become much more mature as time goes on post-canon. He'll learn to become a better friend and a better person, and he'll learn how to put the utmost effort into his passions. But at the same time, I still think he'll be the adorable slow-acting giant we've all come to know and love.

Anyway, this was my take on Murasakibara as the youngest child. Hope you enjoyed it!

[despazito]

i would argue that in an effort to constantly breed dogs to stun judges and win ribbons, quite a few breeds are bred to be worse as pets, especially breeds with luxurious coats.

I like afghans, but i could not keep up with their coats, and i much much prefer old the school dogs with a less full coat that looks actually manageable.

same with samoyeds. i think the dog with a full show coat is much more of a time sink and maintenance for a family than some of the more moderately furred samoyeds of old. my furniture gets coated just looking at some of the modern long hair purebreds, and the more high maintenance you breed your dogs the likelihood of finding an owner meeting said maintenance needs also shrinks.

their temperaments are likely better for pet homes than their working ancestors, but the length and fullness of some breeds' coats has gotten insane to me!! there's several breeds i like whose coat just looks too intense and overdone, and sure enough scouring through vintage photos i will find moderate dogs whose type is much more up to my speed, but sadly those traits have been bred out of the population.

again i must ask, who are these dogs first and foremost being bred for? the best outcome in homes as a pet or five minutes of fame in a looks competition without much thought for the practicality of said looks? and if you breed for the latter then just don't declare yourself as the authority on what pet owners want in a dog.

[miss-hyoko]

Hello there! I'd like to order a "childhood arranged marriage" gado gado with Leona please! Thank you very much 💖

"This is your order, dear customer. A plate full of [The Lion's Fiancé(e)] gado-gado. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No? Then, I hope you have a pleasant meal."

The Lion's Fiancé(e)

Character: Leona

Summary: You were betrothed to Leona since childhood

Tag(s) and warning(s): GN!Reader, fluff, romantic, reader is NOT Yuu, arranged marriage, a bit spoiler about Leona's past, Leona being a little shit (affectionately)

Note: AAAH, MY FIRST REQUEST IS HERE! Thank you for requesting, anon. Your idea is so wonderful that it almost made me get a brainrot for this lion 😩✋

To establish a good relationship with the royal family of Sunset Savanna, your family then decided to make you the betrothed of Leona, the second prince of Sunset Savanna. Because of that, you often visit Leona at the palace to deepen your relationship.

The first time you met little Leona, he's kind of... a brat. He didn't hesitate to show his disdain towards you, his forced fiancé(e). Starting from the way his tail always twitching in displeasure at the mere sight of you, his ears that drop flat, and even the angry expression that adorns his face every time he senses your presence. Little Leona thought he must look very intimidating. But in your eyes, he's no different from a grumpy kitten, it makes you just want to stroke his fluffy-looking ears and tail. And how could Leona miss the way your eyes twinkle following every movement of his tail? The audacity you had!

The next meetings you spend trying to coax your grumpy kitten fiancé. Leona constantly tries to hide every time you come to visit, but somehow you always manage to find him, as if you put a tracking device on him. Over time, Leona himself felt tired from this silly mouse cat game, and he decided to give up on his fate, which was to be your fiancé. Now, every time you come to the palace, you just need to go straight to Leona's room without having to bother looking for him again around the palace.

Since getting engaged to you, Leona started to develop a new habit. And that habit is that he always deliberately sleeps on one side of the mattress, while the other side he leaves for you. He did that not because he's kind, alright? He deliberately left a place on the mattress so that you wouldn't crush him again while he was sleeping, using a stupid excuse like 'you also want to lie down, but you can't because he sleeps right in the middle of the bed'.

Leona knew he was disliked and feared by the palace attendants, all because of the frightening power he has. There were even times when Leona himself hated the power he possessed. For him, turning everything he touches into sand is a curse. But you, you say that his terrifying power is a blessing. When a disaster occurs and debris is scattered, his power can turn all the debris into sand, thus making it easier for the rescue process. And as if to prove the seriousness of your words, you held his hand, pressed it against your face, and looked into Leona's eyes with a small smile, in such a way that say 'look? I'm fine, aren't I?'. And really, that was the only moment where Leona tried his best to keep his tears in their place, hoping they won't stream down his cheeks (and he failed miserably).

Leona may never say this, but he actually enjoys –no, he loves– the time he spends together with you. All this time, he was used to growing up compared to his brother, insults and ridicules had become his daily consumption. But when you come into his life, seeing him for who he is without judging him, looking at him with eyes full of wonder instead of fear, how can Leona's heart not be open to you?

Almost all the beastmen in Sunset Savanna know that their second prince has a fiancé(e) and he's very a bit protective of them. Every time the two of you went out for an outing, Leona would put his hands around your waist or shoulders to let people know that you're with him. If someone dares to stare at you a little longer than necessary, Leona will immediately growl at that poor fellow until they take their eyes from you.

When you come to Savanaclaw to meet your fiancé, all the students there will surely greet you in a very friendly way. Gone is their usual brashness, replaced by a sickeningly polite smile. All because Leona has given them orders to treat you with an utmost respect, even they should be more respectful to you than to him. If someone's being disrespectful to you, then Leona himself will personally teach them a lesson or two about respecting one's fiancé(e).

You may not know, but Leona always tries very hard to control himself to not 'eat' you every time you do something he finds adorable, like holding his hands, sleeping on his chest, giving him a peck here and there, and other things that can make his heart beat faster than it normally does. It's not just once or twice that Leona has dirty thoughts about you, and every time those dirty thoughts start popping into his head, Leona will rush away from you to 'take care' of himself first. He may be a beastman, but he's still sane enough not to force himself on you before the marriage. Well, unless you don't mind?

All in all, Leona treats you pretty well as his fiancé(e). He may not be the nicest fiancé you can have, but he's not the worst either. He can respect your boundaries, listen to your opinions on some things, and take good care of you. The downside may be that he's not very responsive, sometimes ignores you, and also easily irritated by small things. But despite it all, you should know that Leona really cares about you. His high ego makes it a little hard for him to apologize and admit his mistakes, but if you talk to him first, he will definitely apologize in the end. Albeit, with a voice so small that you can barely even hear it.

[thisismeracing]

congrats on 1000!! would love charles, peace, angst (on my folklore shit </3)

Peace | CL16

⸺ the one where they realize that to be in love is not the only thing needed to be together. or rather, that love is not enough on its own. ✓ mentions of breakup.

⁕ one word, a thousand stories blurb night (closed) ⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

Yn watched in silence as Charles gathered his things around the house putting everything inside his suitcase. The four-wheel carry-on used to bring her the best memories such as when they traveled together for the first time, or when they overpacked for a weekend in Miami. Now, it was tainted with a breakup.

"Are you really leaving?" her voice broke breaking through the ice in the room.

The Monegasque stopped with his back to her. And his slumped shoulders were enough indication of how unsure Charles was about it. She knew that if he turned, she would spot tears in his eyes just like in hers.

"I'm sorry, chérie," his voice was hoarse and it scratched against the walls, begging to be heard, begging to form a different sentence, to whisper he was staying, to confess he still loved her, that he never stopped, never would stop. "I can't watch people drag you down because of me, can't watch you lose your privacy just because I don't have one, can't imagine your light dim."

As it happens, dating someone famous wasn't easy. And dating Charles proved to be harder than both of you anticipated. For some reason, the media decided to pursue you and your private life, and at some point, it stopped being about wanting to know more about your relationship and started to be about wanting to drag you around the mud. To find something to criticize in the slightest movement of your head, or the smile that you gave for being either too small or too bright. It was as if you were in a contest, constantly being judged and analyzed, and still, nothing you ever did seem to be enough.

"You know I would sit with you in the trenches, give you my wild, give you a..." she stopped to sob because oh- haven't they talked about kids! "Your brothers are my brothers, my family is your family, how are we supposed to go with this? How are they going to adjust to not having us anymore? How, Charlie?"

Charles sighs, dropping a pair of pants inside the luggage. The pair you gifted him after everyone in the paddock made fun of a particularly colorful one he decided to use. Everything in his life was tied to you, every good and bad moment had you there, "I'd give you my best-"

She interrupts him, "You did- you do! You give me your best every day, love, please. You are enough."

"But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me. And I know you always say you're a fire, and you can keep us warm, but, Yn, you deserve a peaceful love, you deserve calm and happy, and smiling-for-no-reason love."

Her sob takes the room again, their sadness coming together in the small space, almost comforting each other.

"Don't leave me, Charles, please. Don't go! It's not fair we're breaking up because of others," her voice is still small, almost like she's too tired to keep expressing her sadness, translating it. But he can hear her perfectly, he can feel what she feels, but Charles is set on his convictions.

He closes the luggage and just stands there for a minute or so in silence, his back to her, his face to the wall. Nonetheless, he can still feel Yn's eyes on him, and when he turns and their eyes finally met, he asks "Would it really be enough if I could never give you peace?"

This time the silence gets heavier, Yn falters and looks down for a brief second, and it's just the time Charles needs to take a step back and leave the room. Leave her. Because how could love survive in a place without peace?

― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Thank you, babe!!! I hope I did justice to the request *mwah* don't forget to reblog/leave a comment if you liked it, and follow me if you still don't <3