#i’m a shit

[shan-yee]

•𝘋𝘢𝘺 𝘝 = 𝙉𝙨𝙛𝙬 𝙖𝙡𝙥𝙝𝙖𝙗𝙚𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙑𝙞𝙠𝙩𝙤𝙧 [𝘼𝙧𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙚]

•𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 = 𝙑𝙞𝙠𝙩𝙤𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝘼𝙧𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙚

•𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 = 𝙎𝙚𝙭, 𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧, 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙧, 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙, 𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙚𝙭𝙮 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚, 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.

•𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 = 2150

•𝘈/𝘕 = English is not my first language, please let me know if you see any mistakes ! Enjoy ✨

Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

⇰ Viktor is often tired after a session but he always takes the time to caress and kiss his partner while asking her how she feels.

⇰ He is extremely gentle and it’s with pleasure that he will take a bath with her while trying to beat his fatigue, generally he won’t stay long and will go to bed after being sure that she no longer needs of him.

Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

⇰ Honestly he doesn't like much about himself, but if he had to choose he would probably say his hair. He takes great care of it, keratin product, shampoo, conditioner, etc.

⇰ He particularly likes it when his partner runs her fingers through his locks, it's a very intimate act for him and he generally doesn't let anyone touch them.

⇰ About his girlfriend ? He loves everything about her but especially her hands. He often caresses them absently and loves to hold them during the act.

Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

⇰ Viktor likes to finish inside or in a protection depending on whether his partner is taking contraception.

⇰ I think that at the start of his relationship he won't like cumming on his girlfriend's body, feeling like he's dirtying her. But when it happens by accident and he sees that the reader likes it, he will end up secretly enjoying doing it.

⇰ He has an average amount of cum, maybe a little less than most men.

Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

⇰ I think that he would keep it to himself but Viktor feels a certain attraction to Jayce, sexual but above all romantic. He would act as if he doesn’t and try to convince himself, but the more time passes, the more he will realize it.

⇰ After a few years he will become more attentive to the relationship that his partner shares with Jayce, secretly hoping that she too, is not insensitive to his charm.

⇰ However, he won’t ever think about leaving the reader for him and will never do anything behind her back.

Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

⇰ To be honest, Viktor wasn't really experienced in love or anything sexual before meeting his partner. He had neither the desire nor the time to be interested in this kind of thing.

⇰ Once in a relationship he will do a lot of research and perhaps ask advice from Jayce, in whom he trusts enough to confide.

⇰ Over time he’ll know what he is doing and will like to learn by listening to his partner's desires, in fact, he will surely be the type to ask a lot of questions during the act.

Favorite position (This goes without saying.)

⇰ Viktor likes to be close to his partner and feel her warmth, or coldness, against his skin. Depending on his state of health, some positions can be quite complicated.

⇰« Face off » is one of his favorites since it provides great proximity and he does not need to move, which allows him to save his strength.

⇰ He really likes missionary although over time he finds it a little difficult to support himself, cowgirl is also a good option so he can keep his energy up.

Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

⇰ Viktor is quite serious and romantic, he thinks that sex is an intimate moment and he would not like to burst the bubble of calm that he and his partner will have created with a poorly placed joke.

⇰ On the other hand, at the beginning of his relationship, when he is still inexperienced, one or two little jokes from his partner will help him realx a little.

Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

⇰ Viktor is very well groomed, from hair to his —non-existent—beard to pubic hair. He will not remove everything but will make sure that there is not too much and that it does not bother his partner during a blowjob for example.

⇰ Also, I don't think that he really cares if his girlfriend shaves or not. He will never impose this choice on her and if she asks his opinion he will answer that she is perfect with, as without.

Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

⇰ As said above, Viktor is very romantic and sweet. He wants everything to be perfect and takes great care of his partner.

⇰ He will often ask her how she feels and if she likes what he does, especially at the beginning of their relationship when he won’t be very sure of what he does.

⇰ He's the type to plan a romantic dinner, even though he doesn't really know how to cook and doesn't have time, and a nice hot bath before sexy time.

Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

⇰ Before being in a relationship he didn't really think about it, maybe once a month. He was far too busy with his work to feel any lack of sex.

⇰ Once he begins to explore his intimacy he will feel a little more desire but he will wait to be with his partner most of the time.

⇰ He finds that his hand does not give him the same pleasure that is girlfriends hand does.

Kink (One or more of their kinks)

⇰ I already talked about it above but a treesome with Jayce is clearly on his mind, I even think that it's more than a fantasy and that he has real feelings for his friend although he’s struggling to accept it.

⇰ Maybe a breeding kink ? I feel like Viktor would want a family, but he never talks about it since he finds it would be selfish to have a child knowing that he probably only has a few years left.

Location (Favorite places to do the do)

⇰ Viktor prefers above all the comfort of his sheets, he is rather classic and his condition does not allow him to do it everywhere, the bathroom and the living room are also good options.

⇰ He would be willing to try in the laboratory, but i will talk more about it later.

Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

⇰ Honestly, he doesn't need much, Viktor is a big fan of caresses and kisses. Usually a few kisses on the neck are enough for him.

NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

⇰ Viktor will never agree to hurt the reader, even if it wouldn't bother her, he simply wouldn't be able to do it. Everything that is impact play, breath play or electrostimulation is a no no for him.

⇰ Same for humiliation and dirty talk, he wouldn't be able to speak badly to his partner, he loves her too much to call her a "whore" and "slut" and for dirty talk he simply wouldn’t know what to say.

Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

⇰ Viktor likes to provide pleasure in many different ways and oral is one of his favorite ways. He loves hearing his partner and feeling her thighs tighten around his head.

⇰ Even though he had no experience, he learned very quickly by listening and watching his girlfriend's reactions.

⇰ He will never say no to a blowjob even though he clearly prefers to give. I think it's also because he doesn't do much during penetration and for him, foreplay is a way of making up for.

Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

⇰ His condition does not allow him to do crazy things and, anyway, Viktor likes to take his time and savor the sensation of being inside his partner.

⇰ Generally it’ not him who moves and he will not be very complicated, he’ll follow what his partner wants and will help her as best he can with his hands on her hips.

⇰ It's a bit the same thing for foreplay, he watches the pace that his girlfriend prefers.

Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

⇰ Viktor is not a big fan of quickies, I don't think he would refuse if his partner initiated one, just before a meeting for example.

⇰ But it is true that he clearly prefers to take his time in the comfort of their bed. A quickie doesn't really allow him to take care of his girlfriend and for him foreplay--yes again-- is very important.

⇰ So maybe once or twice a week.

Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

⇰ At the start of his relationship no, it's still very new for him and he prefers to explore his sexuality calmly and secretly.

⇰ But with time and if his partner wishes, he would be willing to add a little bit of risk in their sex life, a quickie in his laboratory for example.

Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

⇰ It all depends on whether we are only talking about penetration or we are also counting foreplay, and the positions used.

⇰ Viktor likes to make foreplay last, because he likes to provide pleasure to his partner but also because he knows that during penetration she will surely be the one who moves the most. Generally these last around thirty minutes and more if his girlfriend decides to take care of him.

⇰ Depending on the positions—for penetration—used, it could last three or even four rounds if he is in good shape and has been able to rest. Unfortunately, the more his health deteriorated, the more difficult it would be for him to last long and catch his breath.

Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

⇰ Before being in a relationship he never had one, but after a few discussions with his partner and if he sees that she enjoys using them he will do some research and decide to get some for her.

⇰ He won’t use them on himself but will like to give pleasure to the reader with them, compared to some men he does not think that using them means that he does not know how to satisfy his partner.

⇰ Maybe if he finds himself having free time and especially if the lab is free, he would be able to create one himself. He will take into account the toys that give the reader the most pleasure and make combinations or others—yes I saw the hexstrap—.

Unfair (how much they like to tease)

⇰ Viktor is not really a tease, he may tease his partner here and there by preventing her from cumming once or twice but generally it does not last long.

⇰ He prefers much more to hear her take pleasure and admire her losing all her means.

Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

⇰ The first times Viktor will be quite embarrassed by his moans and will try to hold back but it’a stronger than him, with a few reassuring words he will let go and no longer hold back.

⇰ He grunts more than moans and closes his eyes while frowning, he is very expressive in the act.

Wild care (Get a random headcanon)

⇰ I think that Viktor would like his partner to find someone after his death. He will hesitate a lot before getting into a relationship, telling himself that it would be selfish.

⇰ He would talk to her about it, telling her that she deserves to be happy after him, he would not be jealous and would simply hope that she does not completely forget him after his death, that she keeps a small place for him in his heart.

X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

⇰ Physically Viktor is thin but slender, so I think that his dick is the same thing, so maybe 16cm in length and 12cm in girth—i’m bad at this so i’m gonna stop here help.—

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

⇰ Quite moderate, before getting with his partner he never thought about it.

⇰ Also, Viktor is often overwhelmed by his responsibilities and work, so he is exhausted most of the time. However, this does not prevent him from feeling desire for his girlfriend, on the contrary, he wants to touch her every time he sees her.

⇰ I think that if he were less tired and had better health, he would be much more active.

Zzz (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

⇰ He usually falls asleep first, after about ten minutes and a few cuddles. The next day, having the habit of waking up very early, he will make up for it with a breakfast in bed which he will often have difficulty making.

⇰ The more the years pass, the less he will be able to perpetuate this little ritual and finally, he will simply wake up his beloved with kisses filled with love.

[lynayru]

In case any of you here also use X/Twitter.

[ered]

Here’s my take on the whole audio books vs. reading:

Oral tradition of storytelling predates written ones by millennias, and honestly, which one you like is just a personal preference.

The actual difference is

when listening, you have no idea how to write characters’ names

when reading, you have no idea how to pronounce characters’ names

hope this helps!

[koroart]

I put way too much effort into this ( based on this meme, it wouldn’t leave me alone until it was drawn — I am freee )

[daincrediblegg]

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

[minjimunji]

Obligatory battle of the labyrinth kiss scene

Bonus:

[really-fucked-up-stimboards]

falling down a flight of stairs stimboard ?

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: *waking up in a hospital that he drove himself to after having a heart attack and telling absolutely nobody* hey…

The entirety of the batclan looking over him with Dick in the centre, an absolute terrifying grin on his face:

Dick: hello Bruce, nice evening isn’t it? Got something to share with us?

Edit: the fic is now out on ao3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/57780508

[chewchuck]

dungeon meshi // abbey - mitski

[xxmisukii]

One frame shows that Viktor’s spine was snapped in half because of the explosion :((

(So he was already dead when Jayce noticed him)

[bajaja-blast]

you dislike Luke Castellan because he disagreed with an oppressive government system and actually took action to change the abusive ways him and his peers have been forced to follow for millennia.

I dislike Luke Castellan because in the Titans Curse he manipulated Annabeth, who he raised as his little sister, into holding up the sky, the FUCKING sky, for over 20 hours and had the audacity to walk away as though he was completely apathetic towards it while she begged and pleaded with him to help her.

we are not the same.

[shan-yee]

𝙼𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙰𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗 𝙱𝚞𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚍𝚞𝚗𝚎 2 𝚒𝚗 2023 :

𝚅𝚜 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝚊 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚗 :

....𝙰𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚎...

(Y’all when I tell you i’m going to write for that man…)

[kelddaa]

I was plagued by a vision

[automaticbreakfastmachine]

[stars-obsession-pit]

“Mom, why do you think ghosts are intrinsically evil?”

“It’s what the science says, of course!”

“No, I mean like, what were the studies? What did they actually observe”

“Ohh, I get what you mean, Danny! Well across all reputable reports of encounters with the ghosts strong enough to matter, they’ve always attacked first and never responded to attempts at communication! There’s no reason for them to do that if they’re not evil!”

“Huh…”

…

Danny, learning about Ghost Speak and how humans can’t understand it: hmm.

Danny, learning that ghosts greet each other and bond by fighting: hmmm.

[meteor752]

Zeus all arrogant: My oh my brother, all that work to get revenge on the mortal, and he beats you?You must feel so ashamed…

Poseidon, still bleeding profusely and literally vibrating from horniness: Do you think if I kill his son he’ll do it again?