#i just wanna talk to someone who will understand me

[traveler-at-heart]

Doctor's In - Part 13

Summary: Your life in Boston after Wanda.

The air is cold, and just your luck, today you left the car outside of the building’s parking lot.

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all, as a cute woman is inspecting the black Corvette, in awe of the elegant and expensive car.

“Want a ride?”

“This yours?” she says, genuinenly fascinated.

“Yeap” you nod. “She’s a beauty, 490-hp 6.2-liter V-8 engine”

Do you know what those words mean? Not at all.

“My father and I used to fix cars. I need to send him a picture. Can I?”

“Sure, go ahead” you smile. “I’ll even take one of you standing next to it”

You pull out your phone.

“Oh, wait, I should have given you mine” the woman says, and you smile.

“Or you could give me your number and I’ll send the pics” you smile at her, offering your phone.

“Very smooth” she blushes, taking it.

“If you wanna talk about smooth, the leather seats are just…”

“Ugh, it’s too cold to take my motorcycle, can you give me a ride to the hospital?” Yelena interrupts, coming out of nowhere as usual.

“Shh, go away” you push her behind you.

“God, we’re gonna be late. Just skip to the part where you lie about texting the girl and get on with it” she mumbles, and luckily only you can hear her.

“Sorry, she’s being annoying” you elbow Yelena’s side. “I’ll send you the pictures, and my offer for a ride still stands”

“Well, alright then. Have fun babysitting” the woman comments, which earns her a glare from the blonde.

“Get in the fucking car” you mutter. “Why can’t you ask your mother for a damn car? She has lots of them”

“Like the one you borrow and use to get phone numbers? I don’t understand why you do it, you never call them”

“It’s not about having a date. It’s just fun to talk to girls. I never really did it outside of college” you shrug your shoulders.

You never call them because the thought of being with someone who isn’t Wanda is simply absurd.

But you don’t expect Yelena to understand it.

“I never ask for a car because then she’d be like See, I was right, a motorcycle was a bad idea”

“Get both, like your sister”

“No, because then she’ll say I’m copying her, like when she went to school with a green backpack and I got one that was similar the next day. But green has always been my favorite color” she rambles.

“Are all the Romanoffs this complicated?”

"Is your music taste always this random?" Yelena points at the screen. "Yesterday it was ABBA and now it's Metallica"

"Don't even think about changing it" you say, slapping her hand away.

You finally get to the hospital, parking in your spot, which is one of the best ones in the entire facility.

Melina is trying to convince you to stay beyond your three month contract, and she’s not shying away from providing a life of luxury, with a penthouse and a fancy car included.

If it wasn’t because you’re busting your ass in the ER, you’d feel like a sugar baby.

“Go and check on the people waiting, I have to sign discharges and look at some post ops” you tell Yelena as soon as you walk in, and she nods.

“Morning, everyone” you greet the front desk. “Is Patrick ready for his recital today?”

“Yes, he’s very excited” Nurse Roman says.

“Well, as a doctor I don’t feel comfortable saying break a leg, so let’s just leave it at good luck”

“That sounds perfect to me, Doctor Y/L/N, thank you” the woman says. You’re smiling until you notice the frown on Peña’s face.

“Don’t look at me like that. Not my fault you keep betting on Shelton when he’s literally playing against Alcaraz”

“Shelton is the future of American tennis”

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the resounding noise of your debt” you say, going back to the charts but keeping your palm open. You don’t look up until he gives up, putting a 20 in your hand. “Pleasure doing business with you, Peña. I’m so looking forward to Indian Wells and Miami back to back”

You don’t realise that Natasha is also at the front desk, signing a couple of discharge forms.

It’s been a month and you’re already friends with half the people who work here. Natasha’s glad, because it can be miserable to be isolated while you’re away from home.

The other side of her can’t help but feel really stupid too, because all this time she thought you were flirting and in reality, this is who you are with most people.

Now that’s a fast way to humble someone.

“Hi, Doctor Romanoff” you say, finally noticing her. “Ending your shift?”

“Yeah. How about you?”

“Starting a 48”

“Didn’t you just do one 12 hours ago?” she says.

“Yeah, but my brother and sister are coming over so I need the weekend off” you smile, actually excited. Natasha is probably one of the only people who could understand how good it is to reconnect with your siblings, but she’s been distant with you ever since you came to Boston.

So, you wish her a good day, and walk to the madness of the ER.

“Fuck my life, fuck it hard” you mutter when you notice who’s there. Ed Lorne, aka clown nurse. He’s a young one, practically fresh out of college and with an unhealthy obsession to behave like Patch Adams in that movie that always puts you to sleep (No disrespect to Robin Williams).

“Please tell me his shift is almost over” you plead to Yelena.

“Don’t be mean. He’s trying to make an impression”

“He already did and it’s a fucking awful one”

The fact that there’s no swear jar around has turned you into a sailor on leave. Not that you keep track, but if the twins could hear you, they’d be set for an Ivy League education.

Stop thinking about this, you mentally scold yourself, trying to breathe to settle that uncomfortable feeling at the pit of your stomach.

Yelena mistakes your frustrated sigh with a protest as Ed approaches you. Truthfully, it’s a bit of both.

“Top of the morning to you, Doctor Y/L/N” he says, removing an imaginary hat.

God, you’re gonna strangle him with a stethoscope.

“Guy in bed six has problems with urinating and I’m like well, more like ur-out of my bladder!”

“Boy, you’re really bringing the theater kid energy today, aren’t ya” you complain, ignoring Yelena’s smack on your arm.

“Why, thank you for noticing”

“No, that wasn’t a compliment. Check all of my post ops and medication, then fill out the medical records in the computer”

That should keep him busy for the next two hours and away from you.

“Evil” Yelena mumbles, but she’s laughing along.

You take care of a few people, ordering lab tests and other stuff that is quickly taken care of by the staff. It’s nice to have an ER that is never short on medical personnel.

You finish your exam on a patient just in time to get your daily call.

“Hello, Judas”

“Darcy!” you say, always with the same enthusiasm.

“I hate you” she repeats, every day since you left. Well, minus the first week. You didn’t have a phone at all. “Carol hates you too and you’re no longer invited to her wedding”

You can faintly hear Carol’s voice in the background, shouting that what Darcy’s saying is not true.

“I’m trying to get her to come back” Darcy explains. “Look pal, it’s either the good way or the bad way aka getting you in the Psych ward until you go back to your senses”

“I don’t suppose you could get my stuff and send it over?”

“No, for two reasons. One, if I see Wanda I’m going to kill her and dos, you belong here. So it would be stupid to send stuff that you’ll need when you’re back. Besides, how do you know Wanda didn’t throw them away?”

“I just do. Ok, it was nice being emotionally manipulated by you, but I gotta scrub in. Same time on Monday? Remember I’m seeing Zach and Jenny this weekend”

“Yes, get me all the deets on the gossip and yes, same time”

“Love you, pal”

“Screw you”

Darcy hangs up, but stares at her phone for a moment longer. She does miss you and even if she’s giving you shit for it, she understands where you’re coming from.

“Are these the CVs for Chief Fury?”

“Yes” his secretary says, carrying a couple of files. “He doesn’t like to read on the computer”

“Oh, here, I’ll take those”

And Darcy does take them. Straight to the trash can.

Gotta make sure the job’s open when you come back.

—

You’re out of shape. It’s been 27 hours and the work keeps on coming. It doesn’t help that Boston is so much bigger than Westview.

As you sit in one of the front desks, looking over paperwork and lab results, Ed comes in, holding a deck of cards.

“Pick a card”

“Did you get the lab results for Mrs. Pattmore?” you say, resisting the urge to slap the deck to the floor.

“No, they said it would take another hour…”

“Can you check again? Thank you”

Fortunately, he leaves and you sigh.

“He’s quite the character” a man shows up next to you, and you nod.

“He is very useful when I need urgent results from the lab. The technicians can’t stand him so they rather not see him around” you laugh.

 “I haven’t seen you before. I’m doctor Stephen Strange. Yes, that is my last name” he adds when you frown.

“Oh, nice to meet you. Yeah, I’m the interim Head of Trauma. Just until they find someone new”

“Huh. Not what I heard”

Well, there’s no way Melina will convince you to stay. But then again… you never thought you’d take the job in Boston.

“That’s definitely my plan” you assure him. “Were you on break?”

“Honeymoon. We just got back” he nods towards another woman who joins you, her smile wide. “Doctor Christine Palmer, meet… sorry, I didn’t get your name”

“Y/L Y/L/N. Congratulations to the both of you” you shake her hand.

“Thank you, how are you liking it here so far?”

“Everyone’s great” you say, but Christine catches your exhaustion.

“Lorne was just here asking to do a magic trick”

“Ah. That” she nods.

“Yeah” you get paged, and then wave at them. “See you around, and welcome back”

There’s a man coming in with a stab wound. Another shift from your work in Stark Hospital; the frequency of people who come in as a result of fights is a lot higher.

It was very rare to treat these kind of things in Westview.

“BP 130/70, no external bleeding or fractures” Yelena says and you nod, encouraging her to continue. “I want a chest X-Ray, transthoracic echocardiogram and blood work”

“The patient’s yours, Doctor Belova”

You’re honestly impressed. Yelena has been putting the work, and she’s very talented, especially while working under pressure.

“She has a good teacher” Melina speaks. The woman has a talent for knowing what people are thinking.

“Well, it’s in her blood, isn’t it? The whole Romanoff dinasty”

“Yes. By the way, this is your last patient. You’re not to be on call for so many hours in a week. The workload is very different here. And we will talk about a bonus so you can buy something to that girlfriend of yours to thank her for letting you be here”

About that.

Nobody knows Wanda kicked you out.

Except Yelena, but that’s because she kept asking about what Wanda said when you decided to come to Boston. The only way to shut her up was by telling her the truth.

It’s impressive that she’s kept the secret for so long.

“No need for a bonus, I’m doing my job as usual”

While you wait for the results of Yelena’s patient, the man begins to complain about pain between the shoulder blades.

“Lorne, book an OR and page Yelena” you say, knowing that’s a bad sign.

The blonde scrubs in as you begin the laparoscopy.

“What’s wrong? I’m still waiting on the results” she says, standing next to you.

“Pain between the shoulder blades is not a good sign for this type of injury. I’m seeing blood cloths in the anterior surface of the stomach and the liver. We’re switching to a laparotomy”

You find three lacerations in the liver and one in the stomach. Well, Melina’s plan didn’t work; you’re staying here for a bit longer.

As you move to inspect the pericardium, you look at Yelena, asking if she sees anything.

“No, it’s fine. Aside from the diaphragmatic perforation”

“And how are we closing that?”

“Ethibond suture with pledget” she answers after a slight hesitation.

“You’ll do it and I’ll be watching” you nod, moving aside. Truth is, your shoulder is hurting. It’s the old injury combined with the extra workload.

“Need any help?” Natasha walks in, and you shake your head no.

“I thought your shift ended”

“Came to do some post ops, and Doctor Romanoff asked me to help so you could go home”

“I’m fine” you lie. But Natasha stays in the OR, looking over Yelena’s shoulder.

“You’re making me nervous”

“Good. You could use some pressure. Y/N’s going soft on you” the redhead teases.

“I’m not!” you say, laughing. “I’ve been told I’m a great teacher”

“I’ve heard” Natasha nods.

Though Yelena takes a little bit longer than you would have, her work is excellent. Once you check everything’s done, you give the team instructions and scrub out.

“What are you doing with your siblings?” Natasha asks, joining you.

“Well, Jenny’s looking at NYU to apply. So I’ll meet them in New York, take them to a Broadway show. I was hoping they’d wanna go to the Met but not holding my breath for two teenagers to choose a museum”

“That’s fair. Have fun with your family” she smiles.

It’s weird to think about them as your family. They are, of course.

But to you, family is an entirely different group of people. One that you’ll never see again.

“Thanks. See you around” you nod, hoping to get some rest.

—

You never thought you’d be eager to see your family, but here you are, waiting in the airport, looking for Jenny.

As soon as she spots you, she runs towards you.

“Hey, kiddo”

“Make room for me” Zach says, jumping right in and making sure his sister has no room to breathe.

“You’re so annoying!” Jenny complains. Even if she’s three years older, Zach is a lot taller, being in that awkward teenage phase. “This trip was supposed to be just me”

“Y/N invited me” he says.

Well, kinda. He inserted himself in your conversations with Jenny, and as soon as he heard the words weekend in New York, he was ready to go.

“Well, I didn’t alter my girls weekend schedule for you, Zach. So just so you know, you’re getting a manicure and we’re plucking your eyebrows” you tease, walking them to where you parked. Of course they argue over who gets to ride in the front. “Alright, this is a rental. So, rule number one, no eating in the car. No throwing stuff at each other. No feet on the dashboard. And no one changes the music”

“Fine” they agree.

“First stop, the penthouse, then NYU”

Melina had heard about your trip and went out of her way to offer you everything at her disposal. Exclusive tickets, the Romanoff penthouse (apparently they have one in every major city), a reservation in a very nice restaurant.

You took most things happily. In a way, this is your compensation for emotional damages.

“So, what happened between you and Wanda?” Jenny says.

“Wow, can we at least have lunch first?” you accidentally hit the brake, making Zach hit his head against the headrest of your seat.

“I’m blind!”

“You’re fine” Jenny shushes him, turning to you. “I’ll tell you about our parent’s divorce”

“Ugh, deal. But you go first”

So, as you get food, Jenny tells you everything, with the occasional intervention from Zach. It’s nothing exciting, not technically. Their father finally realising your mother is an evil witch and taking their children away from her. It would have been ideal to do it when they were younger, but whatever.

“And you guys are doing good?” you ask, making sure things are better.

“Yeah… I just feel bad for her sometimes” Jenny admits. “Like what if she’s lonely or sad, you know?”

“That’s because you’re a good kid” you smile at her. “Let’s go get changed, we have to be ready for your college tour soon”

“What about your part of the deal?”

“Later” you say, trying to avoid talking about it.

By the time you reach the penthouse, you can’t help but admire the view to Central Park. It’s even bigger than the one they gave to you back in Boston.

“I want the biggest room” Zach says as soon as they drop their bags.

Of course, they’re engaging in a fight that involves some name calling and a lot of finger flicks on the forehead.

“You guys are worse than…”

They turn to look at you and you smile, trying to keep it together.

“Worse than…” Zach says but you shake your head.

“Nothing. Come on, better change fast”

Worse than Wanda and Pietro.

Will you ever stop thinking about her?

—

Earning the title of cool sister only takes a borrowed penthouse, Broadway tickets and exclusive seats at Yankees Stadium.

It’s day two and though you haven’t been able to convince them to go to the Met, you’re still enjoying yourself.

Kind of.

“So how long do these last?” you ask again, even if Zach explained the rules a dozen times already. “Ok, next time we’re going to the US Open because at least I’ll understand the game”

“So, you’re planning on staying here?” Jenny asks and you shrug your shoulders.

“There’s no plan for anything, really. I have two months left on my contract”

Zach goes to get more food and you keep watching the game in silence.

“Are you ok?” Jenny asks. Truthfully, though you’ve enjoyed spending time with them, Wanda’s been in the back of your mind more frequently than when you’re busy with work.

You can’t help but think about all the trips you never took with her, or wonder what she’d think about the city.

“Want the grown up answer or the big sister being brave answer?”

“I’d like the truth”

“Well…” you take a deep breath. “I’m not ok. I fucked up big time. I had everything I wanted within reach and just… I don’t know. Maybe it was never meant for me. It was too good”

“You are good enough for it, come on. Don’t say that”

“It’s hard to believe it when I hurt her so much. And the kids. But, it is what it is I guess”

“I’m sorry. If you wanna talk…”

“I know, sis. Thanks” you smile at her. All of the sudden you hear the crowd roaring and look up to see a ball that’s coming straight your way. You catch it, thinking nothing of it, while some people around you begin to speak to you. “What? Do I have to throw it back?”

“Are you insane?” Zach comes out of nowhere, taking it from you. “This is the coolest thing!”

“It’s a ball” you say, looking at the field.

“Nu-uh. It’s Camarena’s 50th home run. You know, the most promising baseball player of the season”

“Ok, if you say so”

Turns out it is a very big deal, as the player wants the ball back and is offering to meet you in exchange for it. You let Zach decide for the two of you, and his answer is an excited yes.

So, you take a couple of pictures and thank him when he hands you a signed baseball bat.

“Thanks, Carme…”

“Camarena” Zach elbows you. “I’m your biggest fan”

Yeah, you definitely earned the award to coolest sister, and it had nothing to do with all the money you spent. It came down to your ability to catch a freakin ball, like a competition with a golden retriever.

“We still have some time before we have to take the plane. What do you wanna do? You’ve been doing everything we want to” Jenny says, and you think about it.

“Let’s have a picnic in Central Park”

“Sounds fun” she agrees, while Zach keeps taking a million pictures of the bat.

As you walk around the park, you find something that unlocks a memory that was totally lost on you.

“Balto!” you point at a statue of the sleigh dog. They both look at you with blank expressions. “You’ve never seen Balto? Seriously?”

“I don’t know. Mom wouldn’t let us watch some stuff. She said it was silly to have a movie with speaking animals”

“That and Ghostbusters. But we never learned why”

“Oh, that’s because she and dad watched that movie on the day I was born” you explain while you pull out your phone to take a picture of the statue.

“Mom is such a bitch” Zach mutters and it makes you laugh.

“Come on, kid. Screw the picnic, I’m buying you the biggest burger we can find”

“See? I’m her favorite already” he teases Jenny and they begin to argue again. You hug them, staying in the middle to prevent a fight.

“Love ya both, kiddos”

—

Coming back to an empty house stings a bit more when you spent the weekend surrounded by playful banter and pleasant company.

The silence is unbearable and you know that at moments like this there’s only one thing that can make you forget.

So, even if you have to go to work tomorrow, you get changed and head for the usual club.

“Thought you found a better spot” Laura greets you as you approach the bar.

“Work was crazy” is all you say. No one knows your name, or what you do for a living. You just get drinks and dance to loud music.

“The usual?” you nod, accepting the glass of scotch. You enjoy it slowly for a bit, watching as some people dance and party. The outfits and the music are different from your time in college; plus Darcy and you used to go to shitty bars.

Either way, what hasn’t changed is how drunk people act; messy, unaware. You love it. No one’s asking if you’re ok, or why you're there.

“I was gonna buy you a drink, but you’re not done with that one yet” a woman offers with a flirty smile.

You finish what’s left of the scotch in one swift motion, and wink at her.

“There”

“Are you that thirsty, huh?” she teases, and you laugh, sipping from the new glass. “I’m Eve. You?”

“I’m… really thankful for my drink, Eve” you say, because you’re never gonna share your name with anyone else. “Wanna dance?”

The woman rolls her eyes, but follows you to the dance floor. It’s the perfect place to get lost, and avoid any conversation. The music’s loud, there’s people everywhere and you can simply disappear when you’re done.

It’s what you do best, isn’t it?

As you go out for another drink, there’s an impulse to talk to Laura.

“That was the name of a friend”

“What?”

“Laura. Well, not my friend. My ex girlfriend’s friend”

That’s about everything they have in common. This woman is covered in tattoos and has dark hair, styled in a mullet. Very Joan Jett, which is every girl’s type.

But my type is Wanda.

“Is that why you drink until I have to call you a cab?” Laura says, and you nod, taking a shot of tequila and asking for another one.

“Yeah. Come on, just one more” you plea when she’s doubting about giving you a third one. You pout and Laura rolls her eyes. “Thank you. Ah, I love this song!”

You blow her a kiss, running back to the dance floor. Wait, no, you don’t even know this song but it’s cool anyway.

And then the next one is good enough, until you’re a bit too drunk and have no idea what’s playing.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

To your disappointment, it’s a man.

“I’m fine!”

“Yes, you are” he says, putting his arm around your waist.

“I’m gay, dude. Stop it!” you push him away.

“Come on, you just need a good di…”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence, not when your fist crashes against his nose.

Stupid move, as he’s tumbling to the floor, creating a commotion. You can tell he’s pissed when he stands up, but he never even gets to yell at you, because someone is pulling you back until you’re out of sight.

“You really are trouble” Laura tsks and you try not to laugh.

“He was an asshole”

“Yeah, he is. If it were up to me he wouldn’t go in at all. I have to get back to the bar. Stay here, drink some water. Then I’ll call you a cab”

“I’m sorry” you say, reaching for her when she walks past you.

“That girl did a number on you, huh?”

“I only have myself to blame” you smile sadly. “Thanks for the help”

Following the woman’s advice, you walk around the room, drinking some water and breathing to gather yourself. You’re vaguely aware of the pain in your hand, and remember that it was stupid to risk yourself that way.

If you can’t operate, Melina’s kicking your ass.

After a while, Laura comes back.

“Car’s waiting”

��Thanks… I owe you...”

“A cup of coffee”

You’re about to protest when she rolls her eyes.

“Not as a date. You have too many issues for me to handle. But I’d rather we stop meeting like this, with you starting a bar fight”

“Yeah, that’s fair” you smile, looking back before leaving the room. “My name’s Y/N, by the way”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N”

—

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

That’s all you can think about as you get ready for a 24 hour shift, sporting a massive headache and hangover.

You’re leaning against the elevator when the doors open, and you speak without opening your eyes, handing the keys of the car to Yelena.

“You’re gonna have to drive me today”

“Yelena already left”

You look up a little too fast, eyes meeting Natasha’s.

“Ah, jeez” you complain, feeling your head pound with the sudden movement.

“Rough night?” she says with a mocking tone, but then pays attention to your bruised knuckles, taking your hand. “What the hell? Are you ok?”

“Dude thought he could touch me and get away with it. It’s fine” you promise, though she doesn’t let go of your hand.

“You know mom’s gonna freak out when she sees this?”

“Don’t be a snitch, Romanoff” you say, stepping out of the elevator. “What are you doing?”

“Get in my car” she says, rolling her eyes. “You’re in no condition to drive”

“This is nice” you look around the Mercedes-Benz, reaching to touch the controls in the dashboard. Natasha slaps your hand away.

“Nicer than the Corvette?”

“Nah, let’s not get crazy”

“Did you have a nice weekend with the family?” she asks, rolling into conversation naturally.

“Yeah, we went to see Wicked because Jenny wanted to, then to a Yankees game where I caught the ball, which is apparently a big deal”

“It is, congrats”

“They made me buy some clothes that are not scrubs or…”

“Mini skirts? Like the one you wore last night”

“How did you…”

“My penthouse is in the same building, remember? Same as Yelena’s. Mom was smart enough to get a house away from everyone”

“Right”

“Doesn’t Wanda mind?”

That shuts you up real fast. And honestly? You don’t feel like lying. But as you’re about to answer her, she stops in the parking lot.

“Sorry, it’s none of my business” she mistakes your silence with annoyance.

“No, that’s not it” you explain, but then your phone pings. It’s a message from Jenny, sending you the Instagram post she made for the weekend in New York.

J: You made it to the gram!

Youths. You don’t even have instagram but click the link nonetheless. Yeah, those are nice pictures.

“Oh, you two came together?” Melina greets when she meets you in the hallway.

“Y/N can explain why” Natasha smirks and you glare at her.

“I was just feeling tired after the family trip”

“Natalia, who will be your plus one to the gala?” Melina changes the subject abruptly.

“I’m not taking anyone”

You direct your attention back to your phone, knowing they’re about to argue.

As you swipe through the pictures, a name catches your eye.

w.maximoff

What?

Does Wanda follow your sister?

She saw the pictures and liked them? Even if you were in them?

Don’t be an idiot, don’t think this means anything, she hates you, she’s better off without you.

The sudden urge to throw up has nothing to do with your hangover. You look around the hallway, and feel the desire to turn around and beg her to take you back.

You miss her too much, you can’t do this without Wanda.

Who are you kidding?

“Take Y/N” you hear all of the sudden.

“What?”

“Take Y/N to the gala with you” Melina decides, making Natasha roll her eyes.

“She doesn’t want to…”

“Yes. I’ll go” you interrupt Natasha.

Anything, anything at all to stop thinking about the one person who made your life worth living.

“Then it’s settled” your boss nods, pleased.

“Excuse me” you walk away, hoping there’s a ton of work that can keep your mind off everything else.

There is, and you’re grateful for the distraction it provides.

“I’m exhausted. How are you managing with a hangover?” Yelena complains after a few hours.

“Get some rest,” you mutter, looking at the lab results. “The OR won’t be ready for another hour anyway”

Unfortunately, it gets very slow as the day progresses. Everyone in the hospital is focused on a kidney transplant that is happening next week.

You see a woman walk in with her son to the ER and approach them.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Y/L/N. How can I help you?”

“Hi, yes. My son fell and I’m not sure, I think he might have hurt his wrist”

You turn to look at the kid, who is probably ten or eleven, and he looks back at you scared.

“I understand. What’s your name?”

“Kyle”

“Hi, Kyle. I’m Y/L. Can I take a look at your wrist?”

It takes him a moment to nod, but once he does you take him to one of the hospital beds where he sits. As you put on a pair of gloves, he looks around, clearly nervous.

“Cool shirt” you make conversation, noticing his Yoshi shirt. “My favorite is Rainbow Road, but the best time I ever did was on Vanilla Lake”

“Really? My favorite is Koopa Troopa Beach”

“That’s a good one” you agree, applying pressure on his wrist. “Ok, I don’t think anything’s broken but we need an X-ray to confirm. I’ll walk you there, it will take a minute”

Thankfully, it’s just a sprain.

“You’ll just wear a brace for a week, I’m also sending some medication for pain. Now, you’re gonna have to hold up on playing Mario Kart for a bit, as the movement isn’t good for your hand. Take it easy and if there’s any more discomfort or pain, come back to the hospital”

“Thank you” the woman nods, relieved that it’s nothing major. You’re about to say goodbye when her son hugs you.

“Take care, kid”

As you watch them walk away, your mind goes back to Billy and Tommy.

You miss them so much.

“Everything ok?” Yelena asks when you leave in a rush, walking towards the stairs.

Instead of answering her, you go down the steps, until you push the emergency exit, breathing heavily.

Don’t cry at work, don’t cry at work.

It’s not working. You squeeze your eyes shot, pinching the bridge of your nose.

A sob leaves your lips the minute Yelena catches up with you.

“It’s ok. I’m here” she says, hugging you.

“I miss them”

“I know. I’m sorry” is all she says, allowing you to cry as you lean your head on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be…” you finally gather yourself, wiping away the tears. Your face is hot with the embarrassment of being so emotional in front of Yelena.

“I understand. There’s nothing to be sorry about. Come on, you should get some sleep. I’ll cover the ER for a bit”

“Ok” you nod. But she still follows you to the break room, and as you lay in bed, Yelena makes small talk, asking about your trip and telling you some funny things that used to happen to her and Natasha when their mother would leave them to roam the city while she had board meetings.

As she tells you about her favorite things from the Met, your eyes feel heavy and you fall asleep, exhausted.

The younger woman looks at you, feeling a bit guilty. She understands that everyone in this situation is an adult, and sometimes relationships don’t work.

But it’s still hard to see you so heartbroken and lonely.

“Hey” Natasha walks in the room, and Yelena shushes her, leaning her head towards you. “Is she ok?”

“I don’t know” the blonde admits, closing the door behind her.  “What’s up?”

“Mom told me you’re bringing a plus one to the gala! I thought we agreed no dates for this one”

“Oh, yeah…” Yelena blushes, and Natasha tilts her head.

“Who is it?”

“So, what are you doing? Should we find you a date?” Yelena rushes to change the subject, walking with her sister to the cafeteria.

“No, Y/N volunteered. Or, my mother kinda forced her to”

“Maybe it will be good to have a distraction. She’s having a rough time”

Natasha stays silent as they get some food. To be honest, she has been distant with you. It was hard to get close again after all the hard words you exchanged.

Natasha was just trying to protect herself.

“So you’re not gonna tell me who it is?” Natasha insists after a moment of silence. Yelena laughs, shaking her head.

“You’ll find out soon enough”

—

You open your eyes to the sound of your pager. The OR was busy for longer than anticipated and you’re about to go and check if everyone’s ready.

While you yawn, you dial Yelena’s number.

“Hello?” you hear Natasha’s voice.

“Why are you answering Yelena’s phone?” you say, doble checking that you indeed called her sister.

“Oh, crap. I took her phone by accident”

“Hey” you step out of the room, and find none other than Natasha, ready to leave for the day. “Guess your mother bought these phones in bulk”

You show her the mobile Melina gave you, though you insisted in keeping your number. It’s identical to Yelena’s and Natasha’s and every head of department has one as well.

“Heads up, she might be tracking your location”

“What? Can she do that?” you say, shaking the phone. Natasha smiles at that.

She forgets not everyone is expecting the worst from Melina.

“I better go and exchange phones with Yelena” the redhead says.

“Sure, can you tell her that the OR’s ready? Thanks”

You leave, but then Natasha’s voice stops you.

“Do you wanna do something tomorrow?”

There’s a hint of shock in your face, but you nod and smile.

“Yeah, sure. Wanna come over to watch a movie?”

“Sounds good” she agrees.

“Alright. See ya then” you wave goodbye.

Between this and the gala, Natasha doesn’t know if it’s a good idea to spend so much time together.

She’s about to find out.

—

Natasha is questioning her choices as she knocks on your door, thinking it might be unwise to spend alone time with you.

She had felt like you both got some closure after the emergency surgery on that woman. And then, one week later you had shown up at her hospital, as if you hadn’t refused the offer a number of times.

As if the thought of leaving your precious girlfriend behind wasn’t the craziest thing in the world.

“Hey, come on in” you greet, opening for her.

“Love what you’ve done with the place” she teases, watching as the only real decoration is a Polaroid picture of you and Yelena that is taped to the fridge.

“I’m happy this thing came with furniture or we’d be having dinner on the floor”

“Martha Stewart would be proud” she says and you roll your eyes.

“Come on, food will be ready in a bit” you say, asking her to open the bottle of wine.

“Where’d you get it from?”  she asks as she hands you a glass.

“Uh, the grocery store?” you look back from the stove.

“Wait, you’re making it? From scratch?” she puts her glass down, looking over your shoulder.

“Well, not from scratch, it’s not like I made the pasta”

“I thought you didn’t cook”

“I didn’t” you smile, offering her a taste of the sauce. “But I got used to the finer things in life, like a good old homemade meal, and had to figure out how to get something done”

“This is actually really good” she says, surprised.

“I will give you a pass because I am also surprised that my cooking’s not so bad”

It must have been because you used to watch Wanda cooking all the time.

Ah, shit.

Maybe eventually you’ll go a day without thinking about her. Or not, and that’s your karma for being an idiot.

Once everything’s ready, you pull out two plates, and serve the food.

“What do you wanna watch?”

“Not sure, could we eat first?”

“Why, want to check that I won’t give you food poisoning?” you joke, but Natasha doesn’t laugh. “Oh, come on! I’ve never gotten sick and it’s been a month!”

“Let’s just eat”

“Fine, are you sure you’re gonna be ok talking to me? You’ve been avoiding me since I arrived in Boston” you comment, though you can’t be mad at her.

It was easier to blame her for your screw up that own up to it. You’re not particularly proud of it.

“I wasn’t sure if your girlfriend would give you shit for talking to me”

“We’re not together anymore” you blurt out, making Natasha stop chewing.

“You’re shitting me”

“She broke up with me” you shrug your shoulders. “So I quit my job and ran away like the asshole I am”

There’s a beat of silence, and you keep eating. You’re not expecting anything from Natasha, like pity or words of comfort. It’s just the way things are.

“I had no idea… I’m sorry. I feel responsible”

“Nat, don’t. Honestly, you weren’t wrong. I am attracted to you, and I didn’t set boundaries. If anything, I’m sorry for being a jerk and ruining our friendship”

She keeps eating quietly, and you know that she accepted the apology without making a fuss about it.

“Crazy, stupid love” you mumble after a couple of minutes.

“Yeah, I guess it can be”

“No” you snort out a laugh. “I mean that’s the movie I wanna watch!”

“Oh, I don’t know it” Natasha rolls her eyes.

“Of course not, it’s not a Bond movie. Come on, now that you’ve seen my food won’t take you to the ER, let’s get everything ready” you say, picking up the dishes. Maybe you’ll make popcorn, even though you are full.

“Wait a minute” Natasha says, and when you turn around, she’s got you cornered against the kitchen counter.

“Huh?”

“You said you are attracted to me. Not were. So you still are” she smirks, eyeing you up and down.

“Well, yeah. Have you seen yourself?” you stutter. It’s not helping that you’ve gotten used to physical intimacy and you’ve been craving it for the past weeks.

But that makes you think of Wanda again.

“I just… you deserve more than being a rebound, Natasha. And I am serious when I say I’m not staying beyond my contract”

You know you can’t be someone who isn’t heartbroken and in love with Wanda. But you can at least be honest about it.

“I know. It’s just fun to watch you get all flustered” she says with a sultry voice.

“Not funny” you say, pushing her away.

“Let’s watch that silly, corny movie now” Natasha rolls her eyes.

“You’re gonna love it”

“Doubt it”

As you suspect, she’s critizing Cal at every possible turn, calling him a loser. She’s also constantly texting about the hospital in between complaints.

“Hey!” she protests when you snatch her phone.

“I know we’re both workaholics, but you’re missing the parts with Emma Stone which are arguably the best ones. And this big reveal will blow your mind”

So, you put both of your phones down in the coffee table and take it as a win when she’s laughing at some of the moments in the film.

“Hannah is Cal’s daughter?” Natasha screams when you get to that scene.

“See?”

“Damn!”

“Bathroom break” you announce a while later, leaving the movie playing as you know the dialogues.

Natasha is actually interested in the movie when her phone rings and she picks up without looking away from the screen.

“Hello?”

She’s met with silence, which makes her actually pay attention to whoever called her.

Shit.

Wanda.

She took your phone.

But before she can explain or tell the other woman to wait, the call disconnects.

“What’s wrong?” you say when you return, sitting next to Natasha. “I know it’s sad, but I promise it has a happy ending”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry”

“Nat, you’re scaring me”

“I thought it was my phone, I picked it up. Wanda called you” Natasha says, handing over the phone to you.

“Oh” you tilt your head, shocked. “What did she say?”

“Nothing. She hung up. I’m so sorry”

“Well, maybe she just wanted me to get my stuff. That’s the only reason she’d call me, honestly” you say, returning to the movie.

“Why aren’t you freaking out?” Natasha insists.

“I don’t know” you confess. Maybe you’re in shock. It feels surreal to have Wanda call you, after everything she said to you.

You left your old phone at Darcy’s house before jumping on a plane. You only got your old number back after Melina gave you one of those fancy phones.

Now you wonder if she ever tried to call you.

“I should go”

“And leave me to drown in obsessive thoughts?” you say dramatically. “Look, what’s the harm here? That she’ll think the worst of me, and then what? We broke up. She kicked me out, I’m gone like Wanda asked me to. I’ll just text Pietro and ask if the kids are ok”

That was your real concern. You had a feeling that it could be a mistake or something very serious. And you’d always put your pride aside for the sake of the kids.

“We’re watching a horror movie now” Natasha snatches the remote as soon as the credits roll, looking for Insidious. “That will distract you for sure”

—

“You’re evil” you say when Natasha walks out, laughing.

“And you’re a baby”

“There was a demon! Sewing while that creepy song played. You’re sick, Romanoff”

“Sweet dreams, Y/N” she says, whistling the song as she closes the door.

Now you won’t be able to sleep.

But there’s also another thing in the back of your mind.

Pietro hasn’t answered which can mean that it Wanda's call was a mistake and he’s choosing to ignore you.

Or something so monumentally horrible happened that he doesn’t even have his phone on him.

“Fuck it” you say, trying to control your breathing as you dial back.

You begin to feel like an idiot, especially when it’s pretty obvious Wanda won’t pick up the phone.

Hands squeeze the device as you deal with the disappointment. You are about to hang up when you hear it.

Wanda, saying your name.

And for a moment, you feel like everything’s ok again.

[setmeatopthepyre]

mystery monday (more phosphorescence fic) part 1 | part 2 <- follows directly after this

-

“No, come on, listen. You saw him on that call, you-- you must have noticed. He wasn't okay. How was he suddenly just... fine, just a few weeks later? It was like he'd-- he'd forgotten about me, Chim.”

“Look, Buck...” Chimney is looking at him kindly, and Buck hates it. Chim jokes and doesn't take him too seriously, that's what he does, that's what Buck's used to from his brother-in-law. But this isn't joking. This is just the... the not-taking-him-seriously part. “I know this has been a really tough situation for you...”

“It-It's not because he broke my heart, alright?” Buck says, suddenly angry, frustrated, getting to his feet. “It's not. There's something wrong with him. Can't-- Can't you just, talk to him? See for yourself?”

Chimney's gotten to his feet now, too. Maybe in an attempt to even the playing field, keep Buck from towering over him, not that standing up does him much good in that regard. Buck feels a little guilty, but he can't-- he can't sit down, can't sit still right now. He begins to make his way to the kitchen. Turns. “Wait, have you talked to him at all?”

Chim crosses his arms over his chest. “Honestly? Not really. We texted a few times, right after... you know.”

“He dumped me?” Buck says flatly, feet carrying him forward. He helps himself to a glass of water.

“Yeah.” Chim says hesitantly, trails after him into the kitchen. “That. So, not recently.”

Buck can feel the way he's being watched, resolutely doesn't turn to face him yet, takes a second to let this-- this irritation subside. If Chimney would just believe him, if he'd just understand--

“Okay,” Chimney says. “Yes, fine. If you think that will help, I'll... I'll give Tommy a call. Okay?”

“Yeah?” He turns now, takes a few steps closer, trying to gauge if Chimney actually believes him, or...

“Of course,” Chim replies. “That's what brothers are for, right?” He gives Buck a pat on his shoulder, as though trying to really lay the brother thing on thick. as if Buck won't notice he's still looking at him like he's someone to be concerned about as he does it.

..

So it doesn't surprise Buck when Maddie spontaneously drops by the firehouse the next day, because she just so happened to be in the area.

“Don't listen to her, she's here for me,” Buck says with a sigh, earning him a round of raised eyebrows from everyone but Chimney, who has his best (worst) poker face on. He had cornered Chimney earlier that morning to check if he'd talked to Tommy yet, but apparently Tommy hadn't answered because he was on shift, which is fine, though Buck knows Tommy is perfectly capable of picking up the phone when he's on shift as long as he isn't actively on a call. But. Whatever. Chimney will try again later, and until then... Buck is apparently being babysat.

“I'm here for all of you,” Maddie retorts before sing-songing, “I brought fancy coffees!”

“Maddie Han, you are an angel. You should ditch your lousy husband and run away with me,” Chimney croons, accepting the cup she offers him. Buck sticks to where he's leaning against the rig, waiting for his sister to finish her little charade so she can corner him and look at him with those-- those big brown worried eyes, and tell him she knows it's tough but isn't it time he thought about moving on? He'd shot his shot, he'd texted Tommy. If he hadn't responded, then, well...

He should take the hint.

Buck knows that. He just... can't. Not when something so very clearly isn't right.

Even if he's the only one who seems to notice.

-

tag list below the cut

@fiyaerrigan @bisexualbrainrots @leashybebes @louuieferrignojr @rubydaiquiri @teabroomsandbooks @crimsonwildcat-blog @sweaters-and-silly

let me know if you wanna be added or removed :)

[viilovers]

Title: Bruises and Broken Bottles

Warnings: ¡Smut! (Not hyper detailed) pit figther vi! X male reader! (Sorry not sorry) If you don't wanna read then block! Or scroll!

The stench of stale beer and regret clung to the air like a shroud. I navigated the cluttered floor of Vi's apartment, dodging discarded clothes and the occasional shattered bottle. “Vi?” I called out, my voice tight with a mixture of concern and exasperation.

A groan rumbled from the corner, followed by a crash. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fuckin’ here, pretty boy.”

That was my cue. Pretty boy. Asshole. Useless sack of shit. The terms of endearment varied depending on the level of intoxication. I was used to it. Too used to it, maybe.

I found her sprawled on the dilapidated couch, one arm dangling off the side, her pink hair a tangled mess against the stained fabric. Her breathing was ragged, and the air around her reeked of cheap whiskey.

“Vi, c’mon. Up you get,” I said, trying to pull her upright.

She swatted my hand away, her eyes bleary and unfocused. “Get off me, Y/N. I don’t need your help.”

“Sure looks like it,” I muttered, but kept my voice soft. Arguing with a drunk and heartbroken Vi was like wrestling a rabid badger. You always ended up worse for wear.

It had been...complicated between us. Years ago, we were inseparable. Two kids from the Undercity, dreaming of a life beyond the grime and the gang wars. Then, everything went sideways. Prison. Powder. Silco. And then...Caitlyn.

Vi and Caitlyn had been good. Really good. I saw it in the way Vi’s eyes softened when she talked about her, the way a small smile would play on her lips. I even thought, maybe, finally, she’d found some peace.

But peace was a luxury we couldn't afford long. When Caitlyn broke up with her after being unsure for too long, Vi had spiraled. The bars, the pit fights, the self-destruction… it was a familiar, agonizing pattern. And for some reason, despite everything, I was the one she called.

I managed to wrestle her into a sitting position, propping her up against the back of the couch. “Water. You need water.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she slurred, but didn’t resist when I pressed a glass of water into her hand.

She took a tentative sip, then grimaced. “Tastes like…regret.”

“Probably is regret. You drank enough of it tonight.”

She glared at me, a flicker of anger in her eyes. “Why are you even here, Y/N? You got nothing better to do than babysit a washed-up pit fighter?”

The words stung, even though I knew they were fueled by alcohol and pain. “Someone has to make sure you don’t choke on your own vomit. Besides, who else is going to listen to you whine about the perfect cupcake breaking your heart?”

The jab hit home. Her expression crumpled, and tears welled up in her eyes. “She…she didn’t understand. She didn't get it here. She didn't see me for me"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I hated seeing her like this. Hated the vulnerability that she usually kept locked away behind layers of bravado and aggression.

I knelt in front of her, taking her hand in mine. Her skin was rough, calloused from years of fighting. “I know. I know it hurts, Vi. But you gotta stop doing this to yourself.”

She squeezed my hand, her grip surprisingly strong. “Easy for you to say. You got it all figured out, right? Always the responsible one. Always so fucking perfect.”

“Perfect? Vi, if I was so perfect, would I be here, cleaning up your messes at 3 in the morning?”

She laughed, a harsh, humorless sound. “Good point, pretty boy.”

I stayed with her for a long time, just holding her hand and listening to her ramble. Eventually, she passed out, her breathing evening out. I covered her with a blanket and sat in the rickety armchair, watching over her.

The first rays of dawn crept through the grimy window, painting the room in a pale, depressing light. I was stiff and exhausted, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. I knew what Vi would be like when she woke up. The hangover, the shame, the desperate attempt to bury it all under a fresh layer of anger and defiance.

I woke to the feeling of eyes on me. Heavy eyes, blood shot eyes. I should be repulsed as i had been last night, but for the sake of my love for her, I wouldn't.

"Morning." I grunt out, still sore from last night.

"Morning." Vi says back, still a little drunk, but sober enough to make out my face. She looks me over a few times, and i know exactly what she's doing. She always looks like she wants to swallow me whole.

I shift uncomfortably at the thought. "Hungry? I could make breakfast."

"I'm starving." She says back, but not for food. Her eyes travel to my lips as she licks her own. "Starving for you."

I try to ignore the way my pulse jumps. "Vi, you're still drunk. You don't mean that."

She raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing on her lips. "Oh, I think I do. I've been wanting you for a long time, Y/N. Since before Caitlyn, even."

I swallow hard. "Vi..."

She doesn't let me finish. She reaches out and grabs my shirt, pulling me towards her. My lips crash against hers, and all thoughts of responsibility and reason fly out the window.

Her kiss is rough and desperate, mirroring the turmoil inside her. I kiss her back, unable to resist the pull of her, the memory of what we used to be.

Her hands move to my belt, fumbling with the buckle. "Help me out here, pretty boy," she whispers against my lips.

I pull away slightly. "Vi, are you sure about this? I don't want you to regret it in the morning."

She looks me dead in the eye, her gaze intense and unwavering. "I won't. I promise."

And for some reason, I believe her. I help her with my belt, then start unbuttoning her shirt. Her skin is warm beneath my fingertips, marked with old scars and bruises, each one a testament to her strength and resilience.

We don't talk anymore. We don't need to. Our bodies speak for us, a language of raw need and unspoken desires. I kiss her neck, her shoulders, tracing the lines of her muscles with my tongue.

She moans, arching her back against me. "Fuck, Y/N," she breathes. "I need you so bad."

I don't hesitate. I enter her, and she cries out, her body clenching around me. The pleasure is intense, overwhelming, a release of all the pent-up tension and frustration that has been building between us for months.

We move together, lost in the rhythm of our bodies, the urgency of our need. I kiss her again, harder this time, and she bites my lip, drawing blood.

We had been apart for so long, and so much had changed. But in that moment, tangled together in the ruins of her apartment, it felt like nothing had ever come between us.

Afterward, we lay in silence, her head resting on my chest, our bodies slick with sweat. I stroked her hair, unsure of what to say.

“Vi?” I ventured, my voice hesitant.

She stirred slightly, nuzzling closer. “Hmm?”

“What…what does this mean?”

She was silent for a long moment. Then, she sighed. “I don’t know, Y/N. I really don’t.”

And that was the truth. We were a mess, a tangled web of history, hurt, and unresolved feelings. But as I looked down at her, at the vulnerability in her eyes, I knew one thing for sure: I wasn’t ready to walk away. Not again.

The future was uncertain, filled with challenges and potential heartbreak. But for now, in this moment, it was enough to be here, with her, holding her close. I knew, deep down, that this was only the beginning. We had a long way to go, a lot to figure out. But maybe, just maybe, we could find our way back to each other. Even if it was through bruises and broken bottles.

[blushingdread]

Sometimes, I imagine the vessels being able to like talk to each other. Specifically, the Adversary and Eye of the Needle because they're both very "Leave the cabin?? Why the fuck would I want to leave the cabin???? Let's stay in here and fight forever!!!! Freedom is for losers!!!!" And like everyone else, who very much wanted to leave the cabin so bad "Let. Me. Out."

There would be such a fundamental disconnect, maybe Witch would sorta get them (she wants to die with you so fucking bad. The Adversary Witch friendship, i wanna fight him forver -> fists vs battle of wits), but "My happiest molment was being in the cabin fighting the bird man eternally" and "playing fairytale romance in that cabin was slowly killing my soul." being in the same room would just be so????? Why are you miserable. How were you happy. Horrifying fun house mirrors versions of yourself, that's everything that you are and went though except opposite. How would you EVER cope

Imagine being Songbird and seeing a version of you that GENUINELY would of been happy in the cabin forever, but because she spent all her time being violent and ripping apart TLQ for fun and you don't like violence, but that's how she was happy, but even rembering stabbing him all those times makes you wanna throw up and—

Vs

Well, clearly, this whole thing was because you were doing what someone else wanted. If you just did what you wanted, then you would have been happy to stay in the cabin eternally, ignore literally every other vessel other than me when I say this

I also think about how Adversary, horrified when she fought you without a knife, would react to Molment of Clarity, not only would she not understand Clarity's desire to be free but MoC was designed by her to remove TLQ's will entirely. I think that would freak her the FUCK out

Finally. Den and Needle are the two vessels that got the Stubborn Hunted combo and I think they'd bond over how well their little guys work together. Or more Adversary and Needle would brag endlessly about how much they like Stubbron, and only include Hunted when talking about how he gets even better with Hunted's help. Beast thinks their fucking insane, and Den is like yeah. I like my little meow meow. He's good at dodging, and he helped pull me out of the tunnel. 10/10 pack mate

[daddyissuesbecauseofhotch]

Daddy issues || #6

{masterlist}

Let’s talk about a hypothetical boyfriend, who you’ll refer to as X. When you’re ridiculously in love with him, when you feel like he’s the one, the love of your life, there will be a life before and after X. You’re a true romantic at heart, you know how it goes in those movies and novels.

But to you, it’s different. There is no wall that separates your life before and after Aaron so drastically. There has been a shift in your everyday life and that’s it. On the weekdays, if he’s not God knows where for work, you go over to his apartment to spend the evening with him and Jack. On the weekends, you go to Jack’s soccer matches in the morning, but in the evening you go out with your friends.

Aaron doesn’t stop you; he never even tries. He knows you like to party, and he doesn’t want you to leave that behind just for him. You have a feeling he thinks you will change over time, but he doesn’t want to rush you, he doesn’t want to make you feel like he was trying to force you to change. Either way, you appreciate his patience and that big heart of his.

Tonight it’s just the two of you, because Jack is on a sleepover at a friend’s house, so your precious boyfriend decided to take this chance to do something out of the ordinary. Well, he wasn’t about to go to a club with you, you knew that, but he seemed pretty confident that you would like what he had in mind.

“Will you tell me where we’re going?” you ask, your eyes covered with a sleeping mask by the time Aaron starts the engine of his car.

“No.”

“Can I guess?”

“Sure.”

“Are we going to a hotel?”

There’s a beat of silence that tells you exactly what look he must have on his face right now, and you wish you could see it. “Why would we go to a hotel when we have the apartment all to ourselves?” he asks, sounding utterly confused.

It’s a valid question, you’re not surprised he doesn’t understand. “I don’t know, maybe you wanna roleplay. You know, a high-class escort seeing one of her top clients–”

At this, Aaron starts to laugh, a sound you found equally annoying and adorable. “What is possibly wrong with you, sweetheart? Where are these ideas even coming from?” You shrug. “Or that’s what you want to do?”

“No, no, I want to know what you planned for us,” you’re quick to say.

Maybe a little too quick.

Because once the car is in motion, he reaches out and puts a hand on your thigh, his long, thick fingers gripping it like it was the only thing keeping him grounded. Could it be that he liked the idea? It was a wild guess, a lighthearted joke, but now that it’s a possibility for the future, you can’t help but think about how fun this could be.

Neither of you talks for the rest of the ride, the silence that settled between you is too comfortable for that. It’s been a while on the road, but you couldn’t guess how much time passed without help. When he finally stops the car and turns off the engine, you hear him undo his seatbelt, which is followed by another light click as he moves on to yours.

As he leans over to your seat to guide the seatbelt to its place, he places a soft kiss on your bare shoulder. “You’re so beautiful tonight,” he whispers against your skin. “They’ll love you.”

They? Who is he talking about? Your confusion must be obvious, because he finally reaches out to take off the mask, then presses his lips to yours in a tentative kiss. You gulp, then bite into your lower lip before looking out the window. It’s a house. A really big one. But it’s a quiet neighborhood, it must be someone’s home.

“It’s Dave’s house. The whole team is here with their significant others if they have one, and I’d like you to meet them. They’re my second family in a way, so I want to show them the woman I love so much,” he says with a boyish smile.

The woman he loves? That’s… new. He has never said anything like this, and neither have you. Tonight’s the night when your relationship can take a much more serious turn if you agree to meet his colleagues. Until now, you thought it was just a casual thing between you two, but now you’re sure he wants more.

And so do you.

“Okay, let’s meet them,” you say with a smile.

[winniethewife]

Say the words and I’ll be home

(Remy LeBeau/Gambit x F!Reader)

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending

Words:1504

It was the middle of the night. She just needed to get out without anyone noticing. Well, without anyone stopping her, it was impossible that no one knew she was leaving. That was the funny thing with the X-men, someone always knew something. She had made sure that she hadn’t let on at all that she was going to leave, made plans with people for the next day, and made sure her students were assigned homework due soon, all good signs that she was going to be there. However in reality she’d been planning to leave for a long time now. She needed to figure some personal stuff out, she needed space to figure out who she was beyond an X-man, beyond a mutant, beyond this one life she’d known since she was a kid.

“Wher’ ya’ goin’ ‘tis late at nigh’ cher?” The familiar voice tickles her ears, Remy LeBeau. His familiar dialect and presence was both a curse and a blessing in her life. So many late night talks, so many close calls, so many missed chances. Too many. This was the hardest part, leaving the person she wanted to love behind. She turned to look at him.

“Just going on a walk Remy, I’ll be back later.” She lied with a smile on her face. It was painful to see those red eyes closely examining her from the doorway he was lurking in. So many times she had looked into those same eyes and spoke of things she had never told another soul. Remy raises an eyebrow at her, tilting his head slightly.

“Mhm. Now wher’ I ‘eard tat before? Been tellin’ tat tale for long time now.” He remarked pushing himself off the door frame and closing the distance between them. “You wanna tell Gambit wher’ you goin’? Or do ya’ need him to guess?” he mumbles, gently taking her chin between his forefinger and thumb, tilting her gaze to meet his. She instantly pulled away, knowing if she let him convince her to stay even one more night she would never leave.

“I can’t stay Remy. I need to figure this out, alone.” She added that last bit knowing He would insist coming with her. He instantly deflated as she moved away from him. He knew what she needed, but that didn’t mean he wanted her to go. Understanding didn’t make it any less painful.

“I know cher, I know. I jus’ didn’t ‘spect to see ya’ go so soon. Didn’t wanna see ya’ go at all.” Remy looked terribly downtrodden. He hadn’t been able to really tell her how he felt, at least not in the way he wanted to, there was never the perfect moment when the planets aligned in the right way, the sunset wasn’t the perfect color or the wrong song would play. Maybe that was his problem, he had been so sure that the perfect moment was out there waiting for them that he never tried to make it happen before then, and now it was too late. She was leaving. “Nothin’ I can say ta make ya’ stay right?” he asked just to be sure. She shook her head.

“Not this time Remy.” She said softly as she made her way to the door. Remy stood there and watched her go, He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t stop her. Could he? Should he? The door closes and he ran his hands over his face before sighing deeply and taking off after her.

“Wait cher! Lemme walk ya’ off campus, jus’ to the gate.” He called after her as he leans out the door way. She turns and looks back at him, she knew that she could try to tell him no, but he wasn’t going to listen.

“Alright fine, But only to the gate.” She relented, waiting for him to catch up to her, which only took a second. As they walked together the conversation was anything but easy, an unusual problem for them. His fingers brushed hers as he walked by her side, the urge to take her hand in his was biting at him, its teeth sharp and painful. Yet he resisted. Why? He wasn’t sure. Shouldn’t he be trying to get her to stay? She didn’t look over at him, she kept her eyes forward. As they get close to the gate Gambit realizes he only has one chance to make a perfect moment. He grabbed her hand and turned her to face him, his hands on her shoulders.

“I shoulda told ya’ long time ago. I shoulda told ya’ that, well, I need ya’. I can’t think ‘bout you not bein’ around. Just the thought of it, cher, makes my blood go cold.” He spoke sincerely, his voice filled with love and emotion. He looked at her and waited, prayed that she felt the same, that she needed him too. He watched as the tears well up in her eyes and his heart ached, this wasn’t the perfect moment he had been wanting, this was his last chance.

“I’ve been waiting for you to say that, but it doesn’t change that I need to go.” She mutters as tears fall down her cheeks. Remy wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace.

“I know. I jus’ need ya’ to know… If ya’ ever need me, don’ matter where, don’ matter when, ya’ jus’ call, ya’ hear?” His voice cracked with emotion. He didn’t want to let her go, didn’t want to lose her. She was the sun, the moon, and the stars to him.

“I will, and I’ll come home, Remy, I promise.”

~

When she left that night Remy wanted to believe her that she would come home when she was ready. He really wanted to think that she would come home. But after two years without word, he couldn’t keep his hopes up anymore. He didn’t look to see who was coming in the door with the hope it would be her. He didn’t pick up the phone and expect to hear her voice on the other end. He had tried to convince himself he was okay with that. That he could move on and live without her. However everyone around him could tell he wasn’t okay with it, he wasn’t really himself. So whenever she was spotted somewhere, or she had intervened in a situation out in the field, they all hoped it was a sign she was coming home.

By the end of two years away from the x-mansion she wasn’t really sure if she had figured out who she was, or what she was supposed to be out in the real world. What she had figured out was that she didn’t want to do any of it without him. Everywhere she went something would remind her of Remy. More and more often she was seeing his face in places she didn’t think possible. Every deck of cards, every corner café, every corner table in a hole in the wall restaurant, He was there. She couldn’t run away anymore. She needed to come home.

~

Remy was outside the Mansion, leaning off to the side of the basketball court as he watched some of the younger members of the X-men run around. Life had felt so empty since she’d been gone. He felt like himself in so long, and he knew the others had seen it too. The way his signature smirk didn’t quite reach his eyes anymore. So when he heard a familiar voice calling his name he was so sure that he was hallucinating. She approaches him, her eyes a little more tired, her stance a little more guarded. He stood up, eyes wide as he looked at her.

“I…Cher, you gotta tell Gambit he ain’t dreamin’ righ’ now. Is it really you standin’ here?” He walks up to her, quick to close the distance between them. Holding her by the hips as he looked into her eyes, tears threatening to fall from his own. 

“It’s me, it’s really me.” She whispers. “I told you I’d come back, I promised.” She held his face in her hands, running her thumbs across his cheeks reassuring him that she was truly there.

“Mon dieu, it’s really you, cher… was startin’ to think ya’ were gone fo’ good.” He muttered resting his forehead against hers, pulling her in. His need for her to be close to him was overpowering any other thought.

“I couldn’t stay away any longer Remy. Everywhere I went it was like you were calling me back, telling me to come home.” She said softly, her hands creeping up into his hair, leaning in ever closer.

“Now you’re ‘ere, and I ain’t ever lettin’ ya’ go.” He vowed. His breath against her skin, his smile lighting up his eyes as he looked at her. He never needed anything as much as he needed her in his life. She was home, in his arms, where she was meant to be.

~

Masterlist

Taglist: @silvernight-m @boredzillenial @queerponcho @ominoose @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @lover-of-books-and-tea

[sweetvoidstuff]

Fading into the Shadows - Gravity and Gold (4)

Jungkoo x Reader

Summary: (Y/N) wants a normal university life, hiding her gravity powers, while Jungkook strives to be a perfect hero. When villains attack their campus, she is forced to make a choice—stay hidden or fight. Their encounter changes everything.

Masterlist

Story List

A/N: Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, please let me know—I’d love to hear your thoughts. I plan to publish one chapter per week, so stay tuned for more!

Chapter 4: Fading into the Shadows

The air was thick with the scent of smoke and electricity. The battle was over, but you could still feel the weight of it pressing down on you. Your muscles ached, your head was spinning, and worst of all—you weren’t sure what happened next.

The second the villains had fallen, reinforcements flooded in. More heroes. More uniforms. More people who would have questions you weren’t ready to answer.

I need to leave.

Before anyone could notice, you slipped into the shadows, using the last of your strength to lighten your steps, making your movements barely detectable. You moved swiftly, avoiding the floodlights and the murmuring voices of the other heroes. They were too focused on securing the area to realize you were vanishing.

Except for one person.

"Where do you think you’re going?"

You froze.

Your golden lightning throwing hero stood a few feet away, arms crossed, his dark eyes locked onto yours like he had expected this. His uniform was torn in places, smudged with soot and sweat, showing of some tattoos on his arm, but he still held himself with the confidence of someone who wasn’t used to losing.

You swallowed hard. "Home?"

Jungkook let out a dry chuckle. "That’s cute. But you and I both know that’s not gonna fly." He took a step forward. "You’re not some civilian who just happened to get caught in the crossfire. You helped. And not in a ‘lucky bystander’ kind of way. So tell me—why the hell aren’t you with us?"

"Don’t wanna be."

The words were out before you could stop them.

Jungkook’s smirk faded, his expression growing unreadable. "You don’t want to be a hero?"

"I don’t want to be anything," you corrected. "I just want to live my life. Without all of this." you gestured vaguely to the ruins of the battlefield behind them. "Without people like you showing up and dragging me into something I never asked for."

Jungkook’s jaw clenched. He stared at you for a long moment, like he was trying to piece you together—like he couldn’t understand why someone with power – so much power wouldn’t want to use it.

"You don’t get it," he said finally.

"I don’t need to." You replied, already taking a step back. You turned and disappeared into the night before his body felt lighter again and before he could stop you.

The Next Few Days

You did what you always did—you blended in. You stuck to the back alleys, avoided any locations that heroes were known to frequent, and kept your head down. It wasn’t hard. People didn’t pay much attention to you. That was the way you liked it.

But Jungkook?

Jungkook was impossible to ignore. It took less than a week for him to be there.

Everywhere you went, it seemed like he was there. At the market, where you tried to grab a quick meal. At the park, where you liked to sit and think. Once, you even caught him leaning against the entrance of your favorite bookstore, scanning the crowd like he was looking for you, waiting for you to show up.

It wasn’t a coincidence.

And then, one afternoon, he finally cornered you.

You had just stepped out of a convenience store when you spotted him leaning casually against the railing outside, sipping from a canned coffee. He looked up the moment you walked past, falling into step beside you as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"You know, you’re really bad at hiding," he mused.

You huffed. "Or maybe you’re just really annoying."

Jungkook grinned. "Could be both." He took another sip of his coffee. "You really don’t want to talk about it, huh?"

"There’s nothing to talk about."

"You’ve got power," Jungkook said, his voice dropping slightly. "More than most people I’ve ever met. That’s no small feat either. And you act like it’s some kind of burden instead of a gift."

Your fingers curled into fists clutching your shopping bags tighter. "Maybe that’s because it is a burden."

Jungkook stopped walking. "That’s bullsh*t."

You turned to glare at him. "You don’t get to decide that."

"No, but I do get to ask why," Jungkook shot back. His expression had darkened, his usual playful arrogance slipping into something more serious. "You could help people. You could be part of something bigger. So why are you so damn determined to run from it?"

Because I know what happens when people like me get noticed.

Because the Hero Program isn’t what you think it is.

Because power always comes with a price.

You took a slow breath. "You and I are not friends. You helped me back there and I thank you for that, but I don’t owe you an explanation."

Jungkook’s jaw ticked. You could tell he wanted to argue, but after a tense moment, he let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

"Fine," he muttered. "I’ll drop it. For now."

You didn’t miss the last part.

He wasn’t giving up on you.

And you weren’t sure if that scared you more than anything else.

[pshbites]

﹒⌗﹒❕﹒౨ৎ˚₊‧ 1k followers

hai pshbites nation!! i can’t believe i hit 1k followers.. i really didn’t think i would stay on blr this long but im so glad i have :) ! first thank you to my followers and readers, without your constant support and feedback i don’t think i would’ve been that motivated to post my works. im so glad that you guys like my works and interact with me <3 through every reblog, like, and comment my motivation to post only grows and im so glad to have that support. literally would not be here without u pshbites nation 🥹🥹, so thank u for all the love and support!!!

it’s about to get a lil bit sappy so…

to nunubear : i think we sorta grew closer after #that friend group but im glad we did bc we discovered we both write LOL… and started bonding through that. i feel like we’ve been through a lot together and icb #NunuNana is entering 3 years 🥹🥹🥹.. wow like this is oomflationship realness. but thank u for listening to me rant about blr or even just being there to talk to me 🫶 love u bad habibti @haedgaf @lqfiles

to classic man : you two are my best friends in the whole wide world. i think we’ve grown so close to the point where our families even know each other and that to me is real bonding.. trust.. REAL FRIENDSHIP 😭💔. i love u guys down but u know that because every ft call we end with love you and goodnight. i also wanna thank u guys for supporting me because if both of u hadn’t said i should continue with this i think i would’ve deactivated a long time ago. you already know i trust your judgment more than anyone else’s so i wanna say thank u for everything @wavetokgv @ronniee-26 also i can’t wait to celebrate tonight BYOF (bring ur own fic) it’s celebration time 😭😭 and pls don’t go on their accs they’re bots….

to neoz : sav, liz both of you have become people in my life i talk to everyday and thats a new feat for me. liz, i dont know anything other than saying thank you 😕. you listen to me rant about everything under the sun and im so glad to have found someone who understands me so deeply, i hold so much love for u like an older sister would and im glad we have that connection. @cupidhoons sav, i know we’ve only started getting closer these past couple weeks but i feel so happy when i get to talk to u, you make my day with whatever you say and i also hold love for u just as an older sister would 🩷. i love when you tell me about your day to day life and i just love talking to you in general so thank you 🫂 @ourhees i wanna thank both of you for always supporting me and beta reading some of my fics, i love both of u so so much and i can’t wait for us to spend so much more time together!

to my close moots : if i were to personalize this i think i would be saying the same thing over and over so, thank you all for supporting me and talking to me. in my conversations i have with each of you i genuinely enjoy talking to you all and im glad that ive had the chance to meet you guys 🥹, truly thank u and i love u guys @leeechin @kiss4noo @suneng @coqhee @geutori @kairoot

and once again thank you pshbites nation we #Love you and without your support i think i would’ve given up so thank for reading my mediocre writing and tuning into my works WE LOVE U PSHBITES NATION!!!!!! 💔😭😭😭😭😭

[arsen1cs4ng0]

sigh

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[ruvviks]

Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away. They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.

by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays

[iamhereinthebg]

This may be a strange question but have you ever been bullied in the tbhk fandom? I am having a hard time here

Heya no worries at all for the question! This is an important thing and if you needed to have a place to say it I am happy you did!

I really hope people will be nicer to you :// There is never a good reason for bullying unfortunately it happens a lot on internet QvQ my only advice would be to block those people and/or delete anonymous asks for a while if people are just putting stuff as anonymous :///

To answer your questions, idk if it counts as bullying but I was the target of some stuff like that yep, and tbh I don't really know why. People can have the opinions they want but I will be honest in the tbhk fandom you like a character or a ship that is not 'what everyone in the fandom should like' and people start menacing you for no reason.

A lot of people in this fandom are kids who sometimes don't get what insulting people do. (and not only kids but it is one of the reason, I feel like a lot don't have 'internet basis' like not saying everything about yourself on twitter help.)

Which is also one of the reason I am taking my distances with anyone in this fandom because I had too many unwanted stuff like when I was just trying to be nice and answer messages. It's not because we are in the same fandom that we are bffs.

This is sad to say but yes I don't think you can just have fun 'fun' in this fandom anymore, people will make sure you have a hard time for no reason and honestly I am tired of people who are unable to understand that we aren't just bots on the internet and that Surprise! people have feelings wow

I hope you will be better but don't hesitate to take some time off the fandom a bit ^^ I am being overly dramatic here because I had some bad experiences (I've been in the fandom since the start of 2020 so welp) but a lot of people are really nice and I am sure you can make some friends too ^^ (I did too! even if a lot aren't in the fandom anymore, it's nice seeing mutuals from far away doing their lives)

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[edge-oftheworld]

I don’t really talk about it much on here because I’m extremely lucky to be able to understand exactly what’s going on in my body, but it’s scary to live for years as someone who Gets Things Done in a way your peers don’t really understand, be putting effort into so many things you care about, and then suddenly lose the ability to do not only that but also basic tasks overnight after a deadline, and bit by bit after many. it’s scary getting really irritable sometimes to the point of violence, just when you were meant to be celebrating the rewards from your hard work, the only impact of the work you did that you can see is that you overdrafted your ability to do anything. including have a basic conversation without getting grumpy or crying. and your body is going to make you pay it back with interest, you already know that, but you don’t know how to start filling yourself back up. you’ve only ever enjoyed being on the grind, hard at work on exciting things.

I don’t know how many of you have been through the kind of burnout that’s years of needing 12hrs of sleep a night but with terrible insomnia, waking up to what feels like a hangover for weeks on end with little relief then rinse and repeat without having a single drink, feeling too sick to eat and needing to exercise to emotionally regulate but being unable to, anxiety that doesn’t come from worry but you’ll pick that up too at some point, dissociating every time you try to do mentally taxing tasks that you’re PAID for so it takes an hour of grounding yourself just to get five minutes worth of productive concentration, falling asleep the minute you feel a little safe by being in the presence of loved ones. but I suspect I’m not the only one.

I’ve had songs for the energetic and angsty times leading up to this. for the exasperated times and the brain fog and the times where all my limited energy is tied up in feeling things. that I need to, need to acknowledge, but it’s overwhelming and I live in a haze for weeks as a result of. songs telling of the kind of youth I wish I had, even when I was sold something else. songs for the months spent as a teenager trying to be there for my friends, worrying for them, distracting me from worrying for myself, trying to cling on to positivity and hope amongst it when I had to choose to make a discipline of always seeing that. I’ve had songs for healing and when healing is harder than expected and songs that have the right level of musical complexity to capture the layers of everything that’s happening in my head, making it sound good, telling me it’s gonna be okay.

I don’t know how I could ever say thank you for this. but I do know that I see parts of myself in the people behind these songs, of course I do, and I worry for them as a result and ache for them because it’s hard enough to feel this way when no one knows me or feels the need to control me or mould me into what they think I should be. I’d do anything to keep them all healthy and happy and all of their loved ones too and I don’t think it’s strange as a fan to take that seriously. I hope we can understand the need to treat them gently, and to while not questioning their privacy and the fact that they’re never going to tell us everything they go through, listen to our intuition when we catch something we relate to and treat what they’ve shared with us or hinted at with the dignity we would if someone we love told us something vulnerable. be kind in our expectations and be intentional in the fan culture we create because it does make its way back to them.

and the same goes with all of you. we’re bonding over the same things. I know a lot of this fandom is in the stage where interpersonal relationships are hard. we don’t mean to be grumpy of frustrated but we are. and I’m sending love to all of you. we can get through this together. it’s what they’ve always longed for isn’t it?

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

[bellamyblakru]

i will never understand how some people can actively shit on something they know someone loves and finds joy in right in front of them. how can you hate something that makes someone else happy in this absolutely fucked world in front of them.

its the passive aggression for no reason i will never ever understand or do to others. if you have a passion, fucking LIVE it. if nothing else, passion gets us through every shitty day, and i will always support it.

have passion in spite of those who hate.