#i just think that devotion is a concept is not talked about enough

[naive-daydreamer]

Devotion.

You know, we were teached that this marvelous yet strange thing is blind respect and admiration, generaly towards a deity. It is wrong.

So, you may ask, what is devotion? It is defying who you love to be better, to reach their whole potential and to stay with them even when they push you away.

So no, my dear, devotion is not a religious trate, but unconditional love. You will know this better once you find someone you know in your bones that can be better, and as such, you push, companion and defy them to be.

That is devotion, no less.

—The Solivagant.

[juleswritesstuff]

Am I the only one who thinks most of the Marauders and the Slytherin Skittles would have the biggest praise kink in history ?

warnings: smut

James would have one because of his constant need to be perfect, to be what he thinks the others need him to be: the perfect son, the perfect friend, the perfect student. But he always has doubts ‘am I enough ?’, ‘am I doing enough ?', ‘will they like me ? ’, ‘what if they don’t ? what if they hate me ?’ He needs to be reassured that he is. He is enough, he is more than enough. 

I feel like it would be more prominent while he is intimate with you. He is mostly afraid of not living up to the expectation he thinks you have of him. So you make sure he knows that he makes you literally touch the sky.

‘That was the best match i’ve ever watched ! Merlin, you were brilliant on that broom James’ after Gryffindor wins the last match of the year.

‘What do you mean ‘stupid’ ? They’re your glasses baby, they help you see. And you look really hot wearing them in my opinion’ after he overhears someone talking about another person and saying they look stupid with that specific pair of glasses.

‘Like that, baby. You’re doing so good’ while he is covering your neck with kisses and gentle bites.

‘Yes, yes, fuck, right there Jamie’ after a particularly deep and strong thrust leaves you breathless.

‘You look so good between my legs, love’ while he is eating you out messily and hungrily and so, so perfectly.

‘No one feels as good as you. No one could ever make me feel the way you do, James’ while he is still inside of you, catching his breath and looking at you with devotion.

‘Are you sure it was ok ?’

‘James, it was more than ok. My legs are shaking baby, that's a sign that it was pretty damn amazing’

‘Are you serious ?’

‘Apart from the very lame joke I am sure you’re thinking about, yes, I am. Actually, why don’t I show you how serious I really am ?’

‘What do you mean, baby?’

‘I mean that you’re gonna fuck me again and i’ll show you how much I always crave your lips, then a third time and i’ll make sure the entire castle hears how you can make me cry with just your tongue, then a fourth because that perfect dick of yours needs to be fucking worshipped, and, finally, a fifth to show you that you fuck me so good that not a single coherent thought processes in my head when you're taking me apart on your cock, Jamie’ 

Remus would have one because he has hated himself his whole life. He feels like a monster, like he doesn’t deserve all the love he is surrounded by, like all the good things people say about him are just lies. And he knows the truth, he knows he is nothing but an horrid creature and that he doesn’t deserve to be loved. Except that it isn’t the truth, and you tell him everyday.

With him I feel like it would be more out of the bedroom, and outside of sex, but not exclusively.

‘You’re really good at that spell Remus, mind showing me how it’s done ?’ after he gets a rather difficult charm right at the first try.

‘You look very hot today, Rem. Well, you look hot everyday actually’ which makes him blush from head to toes.

‘You’re the best, you know ? You really are’ after he explains a difficult concept that nobody else got, but him.

‘Holy hell, right there Remus. You feel way too good’ while he eases in and out of you with a steady rhythm, knocking the air out of your lungs.

‘You take such good care of me’ while he is going down on you, slowly, sensually and with a glint of hunger in his eyes, knowing exactly what to do to make you fall apart.

‘I love you, you know that right ?’

‘Yes, darling. You tell me everyday’ 

‘Well, that’s not enough. From now on, I'll tell you twice a day’

‘But why ?’

‘Because it’s true' and then you give him the sweetest kiss.

Sirius would have one because he has been told his whole life that he wasn’t enough. That he needed to be better, to do better, to be a better heir for the Noble House of Black, to be a better son, to be a better brother. He was told that he was worthless, that his parents had no use in having a son like him. He was a disappointment, a shame to the family. For them he didn’t exist anymore.

But for you he was the most perfect person to ever walk on earth. Your brightest star.

He would love it both inside and outside the bedroom. I feel like he would also ask you to tell him something that makes him feel good, especially when he is having a bad day. He has no problem being praised in public, but he becomes especially vulnerable when you’re intimate because he can finally let go.

‘Tell me what did I do to have the best boyfriend ever ?’ After he brings you flowers one day because he told you they reminded them of you.

‘It’s ok Sirius, you’ll get it eventually. You’re one of the best students, you just need a bit more time which is totally fine’ after the tenth time he tries to get one of the most difficult spells right, only for it to go wrong.

‘You’re worth it Sirius. You’re worth every single good thing that happens to you, never doubt that’ after he breaks down reading one of his mothers older letters, full of foul words directed at him.

‘You’re such a good boy, aren’t you ?’ after he listens to you so well, kissing every inch of your body.

‘Fuck, you should see yourself baby. You look so good, so perfect for me’ while you’re on his lap, riding him slowly to savor that sultry fucked out expression on his face that makes you go feral.

‘You’re so sweet, Sirius, do you know that ? So fucking sweet’ after you bob your head on his length, swirling your tongue around his head to suck gently as his taste coats your mouth.

‘Was I good ?’

‘You’re always good, Sirius. More than’

‘Are you sure ?’

‘Do you want me to describe in detail how good you are at splitting me open in every position known to man ? Because I can do that if you want. Might take three whole days though, a week if you want me to talk about that sinful tongue of yours, too’

‘I think we have enough time’ and then you both start laughing.

Regulus would have one because he’s been second his whole life. Second for his brother, second for his parents before Sirius left , sometimes he feels second even for his friends. He thinks no one cares deeply about him, he’s just there as a rebound. He’s never been anyone’s first choice, and he thinks he never will be.

You make sure he knows that not only he would be your first choice in every lifetime, but that he would also be the only choice for you, no one else would or could ever compare. He is the center of your universe after all.

I feel like he would blush like crazy and pretend he is annoyed by your words when you’re in public and you praise him even for the simplest thing, but his eyes would also warm up a little, just for a second, before going back to his blank and rather stoic expression. He would be a mess in the bedroom though, when he can finally let go and he allows himself to feel good about the sweet words that leave your lips.

‘You have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen’ after he catches you staring at him for a moment too long.

‘Your poems are literally art, Regulus. I can’t believe you can write like this, you know this is pure talent, right ?’ after he shows you his poems for the first time and you nearly cry because more than half of them are dedicated to you.

‘You were so good up there, Reggie. And the way you caught the Snitch ? Fucking incredible. You are incredible’ after Slytherin wins one of the biggest matches of the season thanks to Regulus catching the Snitch one minute from the end.

‘You feel so good, love. Stretching me out so well’ after his cock slides inside of you perfectly, filling you up so nicely.

‘Eyes on me, Regulus. They’re so gorgeous, I want them focused me while I make you cum, ok ? Be good and keep them open’ as you stroke his length up and down, feeling the velvety soft skin on your palm as you give his head a gentle suck, tasting him on your tongue.

‘You’re so pretty when you’re all fucked out, Reggie. You feel so good taking me like this’ while you’re riding him and he looks at you with hazy eyes, lust and pure bliss fogging his brain’

‘I’m yours Regulus. I’m undoubtedly, irrevocably and utterly yours’

‘Promise me’

‘I promise, I’m not going anywhere. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me forever, actually’

‘Mmh, it’s gonna be hard, but I’ll survive I guess’ while you’re still joined, one body and one soul as you kiss him slowly and sweetly, his tone sarcastic but betrayed by the smile that's progressively growing on his lips.

Barty would have one because his father never gave him his attention. He was never enough for him, never a good son, never a good student, never good. He was constantly ignored, and the few times his father acknowledged him was to tell him that he was a lost cause, a disgrace, a shame. He was just a stupid boy, too reckless, too careless, too unhinged, too much, and, at the same time, never enough. But it wasn’t like that. He was a bit impulsive, and sometimes he went a little bonkers, but he was a good person, and there were people who cared about him and his well being. You always made sure he knew that. He was your priority.

I have a feeling that he would be completely unashamed of being praised in public exactly like he is praised in the bedroom. Probably not in front of the whole school, but he wouldn't really care if people eavesdropped, his crooked grin widening when he notices their horrified faces. It is  their fault, they could mind their own damn business.

‘Yes, Barty, you’ve been a good boy’ after he asks you if he has been good after getting an O in Potions.

‘Baby, we’re in public, I can’t just scream about how good you fuck me. There are people eating, for Merlin’s sake’ after he sees a guy talking to you before sitting at the table in the Great Hall. He asks you if you could tell him that he is the only one who could make you come with just his skilled fingers.

‘Don’t think like that ever again, Barty. You are not a lost cause, you aren't. You deserve good things, you deserve the best things, sweetie. You deserve to be loved, and I do. I love you so much Barty, don’t ever think you are not important to me because you are. You mean the world to me’ after he receives a letter from his father asking how a cretin like him was able to find someone who could love him. If he hadn’t begged you to stop after calming down a little you would’ve been in Azkaban with a murder charge by now.

‘Fuck, I love when you do that. Feels amazing, baby’ after he trails a path of kisses down your chest only to focus on the tender flesh of your nipple as he sucks gently, and grazes it with his teeth, teasing you.

‘Harder, baby. I know you like it like this’ while his thrusts become more erratic, stronger and deeper and you can hardly think.

‘You’re cock is perfect, Barty. Fills my mouth so nicely’ while you’re sucking him off, his tip hits your throat and you swallow as the loudest moan leaves his mouth.

‘I told Mulciber that no one can make you scream as loud as I do’

‘You did what ?! Barty !’

‘What ? Is it not true ?’

‘I- of course it’s true, but why did you have to tell him ?’

‘He was being rather cocky about the fact that he could make you scream like, and I quote ‘a bitch’. Then he started using other very disrespectful words to describe you baby, and at that point I had to punch him right in the face, because no one has to even dare to talk about you like that. He is actually lucky my Sectumsempra is not perfect yet, or he would’ve ended way worse. And then I added that little detail. I probably shouldn’t have done it, but I was furious. Do you want me to obliviate him ? I can do that if you want’

‘It’s fine, he needs some salt rubbed on his wounds’

‘Are you sure ?’

‘Yes, baby. And it’s nothing new, I'm sure the entire dorm hears me when you’re fucking me, I can't help it. Now come on my knight in bloody knuckles, let’s go to Madame Pomfrey to get those bruises checked’ you kiss him lightly before heading to the infirmary.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk 🤭

And thank you for reading 💖

[alphajocklover]

InstaJock: Going Viral

**Hey! This is my entry for @occamstfs Viral Transformation Challenge. Congrats on getting 2,000 followers, and thank you for beta reading this and helping me edit it. I hope I can get to 2,000 followers myself one day! For those who are new to my stories, this does connect to the plot established in my blog, but the concept is simple enough you should be able to follow along even if you don't usually read my stuff! I hope you all enjoy!**

When I talk about the InstaJock App Phenomenon – which I seem to do a lot. What is this, the 17th InstaJock related post? I need to diversify more – I usually talk about the transformation aspects and not the app itself. That’s partially because the transformation is the most interesting and hottest part, but it’s also because I haven’t been able to take a good look at the app. Even with all the protective spells and equipment I have, I can’t use a phone with InstaJock on it for very long without getting an urge to set up an account. 

Until now.

With some help from the devilishly handsome (and literally devilish) Nick, I’ve been able to get my hands on some better equipment and better explore the app. I was able to spend a couple hours on it before I needed to quit, and actually got some very interesting information, mainly about how the app works post-transformation. I had always assumed that once a user got transformed into a jock, they’d ignore the app from then on unless they wanted to change someone. I was very, very wrong, not just about that but about the purpose of the app itself. It’s not just for making people into jocks: it’s for finding the best ones.

The app generally works like any other social media app, with its members posting about their interests. It’s set up is a lot like Instagram, where pictures and videos are the main format used for posting, but what really makes it different from other social media apps is the content. You can probably guess what an app full of buff cocky jocks looks like, but I’ll confirm it for you: the app is a thirst trap paradise.

The entire app is stuffed with half naked –  and sometimes fully naked – photos of buff jocks, ones of all different kinds. If you can think up a jock related stereotype, they have a full hashtag dedicated to it. Just buff jocks playing sports, flexing and making out with other hot people, for as far. I know that doesn’t sound too different from normal social media apps, as most have a healthy NSFW side, but the posts have more in common then just showing jocks. Each and every post, every one that I saw, mentioned a Master. Some were talking about how they were getting pumped up at the gym for Master, some were talking about how they loved being jocks and were so glad Master had found them, and some were literally begging for Master to notice them, often wantonly describing how they’d debase themselves and be the sluttiest jock ever, all for him. Everyone on the app would post at least once a day about this mysterious Master. It doesn’t seem to matter if the jock is a dom, a sub, a top, a bottom, in a relationship, single, gay or even straight, all of them wanted this mysterious unnamed master – so much so they seemed to completely change personalities whenever he is mentioned. It seems instaJock has an additional side effect I didn’t know about till now: complete and utter devotion to their Master.

It took me a while, and some covert interviewing of a number of jocks in their DMs, but I think I figured out what's happening. The Jocks aren’t just posting for fun, they’re competing with each other. InstaJock isn’t really a social media app, it’s a sort of ranking app. Every day the jocks log on, post a picture of themselves with a caption somehow related to their Master, and leave likes on some of the other posts, usually the ones they find hot. If a jock’s post gets enough likes though, they get what every jock wants, what all of them are trying to get. They get to Go Viral.

Going Viral on IntsaJock isn’t like going viral on a regular app. It essentially means you’ve gotten enough likes, been reposted enough times, and have become popular enough on the site… that Master has noticed you. That's what the social media part of the app is really for. It’s just a way for Master’s jocks to organize themselves so only the hottest ones show up on his feed. If he really likes you, he’ll do more than just look too. Soon that Jock will disappear from his regular life, never to be seen again, whisked away to become a part of Master’s personal harem. This entire time the app has been about one thing: creating lovestruck sex slaves for the man who created InstaJock.

Like most actual social media apps, InstaJock jumps from one thing to another, and what's viral is always changing. But there are two tags that are always trending on InstaJock. The first, and most popular, is #JockMaster, which is only ever used by this mysterious Master when he makes a post. I’ve seen his account. He never shows his face on it, but from what little of his body that makes it into the photos, he’s… enchanting. As much as I hate to admit it, seeing just a bit of that creep almost made me drool. He usually only posts a couple times a week, as opposed to the jock who posts daily, but everything he posts goes viral on the app in moments. I’ll admit, there's something about his posts that is just… hypnotic. I almost set up an account after seeing one myself, and probably would have if Nick wasn’t there to stop me.

The other tag that's always trending is… more interesting, at least to me. It’s #MastersBoyfriend. It’s another tag used only by Master, and one he uses whenever he posts a picture of one particular member of his harem. 

Whenever he posts pictures… of my Uncle John.

I finally know who took my Uncle. I know who this Master is. I suspected it was him for a while, but now I’m sure. The man who made InstaJock and the man who turned my Uncle into a slutty buff himbo are one in the same. I finally have proof.

So now what?

**The identity of the person behind InstaJock AND the person behind my Uncle's transformation and kidnapping has finally been revealed! Been working up to this for a long time, and I'm glad to keep this story moving forward! Hope you liked it as much as I do! Thank you to @occamstfs once again for being absolutely awesome and inspiring!**

[drenched-in-sunlight]

i don’t think it’s talked about enough that the reason there’s a Godwyn ending where he becomes a Lord (not a God) is because symbolically, he was mirroring Godfrey in more than just name.

Godwyn’s alive body sprouting fish tail and scales isn’t just a random design choice, it’s a reference to Confucius' The Book of Rites, where it’s stated that the subjugation of the Four Divine Beasts will grant the person who tamed them different kind of control:

- Dragon -> control over animals with scales (specifically, FISH. See?)

- Qilin (Lion) -> control over beasts (think of how the Hornsent coveting the power of the Crucibles via the lion dance ritual. The ��lion” in lion dance is Qilin in the native language of Asian countries that celebrate that tradition. And it’s why Godfrey’s symbol is a lion, why lion imagery plays such important role in Elden Ring world)

- Phoenix -> control over birds

- Turtle -> control over the heart of men (this might be a reach but Miquella’s connection to the Carian family and thus, the Turtle Pope could be a nice parallel to this)

in Godfrey’s cut dialogues, he said “Dearest Marika is precisely what I must take back” and “Dear Marika, do not fear. I am returned.”, and even without all that, The Talisman of Lord’s Bestowal stated that Godfrey accepted his duty without any sign of wavering, even taking Serosh upon his back so he could conduct himself as a Lord worthy of her. Bro, he loves that girl, he passed Messmer’s vibe check with flying colors.

For Godwyn to be a fruit of such a loving union, i do think Godfrey instilled in him a sense of duty to protect his Mother, and there’s his own love and devotion to her as well. Leyndell Knights all use Dragon Cult incantations and buffs - the kind of power that is only available to them because Godwyn befriended Fortissax (which is why i said that move has an ulterior motive to it).

All of that brings me to this main point I’m trying to make: does Godwyn really that devoid of agency?

I see it’s a popular interpretation in the fandom that oh Godwyn was just a symbol, he had no voice, we never knew what he wanted, etc etc… Do we really not know though?

Sorry for slapping another fandom on this, but this is really relevant to my understanding of Elden Ring as a story, even with the base written by a Western author, was developed by a Japanese team of storytellers and designers:

The concept of soul - body and body snatching etc etc exists a lot in Asian media, and there’s always a general consensus that the body remembers even as the soul perishes. What is Godwyn’s body is doing? The game specifically states that his body is alive. He only perishes in soul.

He was infesting the Erdtree’s roots, spreading Death around like free real estate. If he wanted to let go of life, of his Mother, his body should have just let go on its own. But no, he was tenaciously clinging to the Erdtree, to Marika.

Even Fortissax remembrance stated that despite its best effort, it could not fight back the Death within its friend. If Godwyn really, truly wanted to embrace a true death, would his body just let Fortissax fight alone in an uphill battle like that?

Then there is the DLC revealed that Godwyn’s personal knights were in LoS to find and guard his cadaver surrogate, specifically for the Age of the Duskborn. Their helm stated that their loyalty to him is unbroken. So will they just go and do something that their Master would not want?

These Knights are literally an elite circle that was bestowed the most precious of jewels in Godfrey’s time (the +3 medallions), they aren’t merely good, they are the very best. They are Godwyn’s inner circle the same way the Fire Knights are said to be the ones who know Messmer best.

Even if you think Fia and Those Who Lived in Death were just taking advantage of Godwyn’s death… her endgame goal technically did not even succeed. She wanted to be Mother to TWLiD, but the ending very much shows that the Mending Rune was returned to Marika’s womb. It’s her who would birth Godwyn a second life, so the True Mother™ to TWLiD… would actually be Marika 💀

Like, am i the only one who saw this as some real crazy 4D chess Uno reverse move from Godwyn? Oh these ppl wanted to get rid of him then took advantage of his body? Fine, he would take that challenge and run a mile with it. If Age of Duskborn came, it meant Ranni didn’t succeed, Fia didn’t actually get to be Mother of TWLiD, Death - the very thing that Marika tried to seal, would now be something within her control, because Godwyn is its Lord now. Exactly like how the Dragons’ power became something wielded in Marika’s favor in the end. Thanks to him.

In the Duskborn ending, bro, the God would still be Marika. It’s the only possible new Age involving a demigod that doesn’t get rid of her. Even if it utilize heretical powers to get there.

And the crazier thing? This is not the first time Fromsoft did this, btw.

[crystalflygeo]

Heat haze ft Morax + fem!bunny adeptus!reader

cw/tags: heat/mating cycles, marathon sex, overstimulation, dirty talk, breeding kink, praise kink, creampie, sex toy, improper use of geo (lmao), Morax has a dragon penis, pet names, fucked stupid, reader calls Morax "My Lord" and Morax calls her "my child", power play??

notes: Pure self-indulgent filth <3 I love the concept of heats in general and though on applying that to adepti, then I remembered it's bunny year so why not... apparently there is a bunny in chinese mythology called the "Jade Rabbit" who serves the Moon Goddess soooo. Anyway. Breeding kink goes brrrrrr.

“M-my lord... I’m sorry I’m ah-” You gulp and try to breathe through your mouth, fingers clenching and unclenching trying to regain some semblance of stability. “I’m not feeling very… well”

Shameful. Lord Morax came to see you, probably talk about important matters regarding this year’s crops and yet-

“Is this your first heat alone?”

Your eyes widen and your cheeks burn, on instinct you look up panicked as your long ears stiffen in shock but just as quickly you avert your gaze, unable to look at him in the face at the revelation, and to avoid staring at his regal visage, fearful of your own reactions if you were to do so.

Oh he knows. He knows. Of course he knows. As much as you tried to suppress it your scent is probably dripping with want, especially when your thoughts were spiraling out of control mere minutes ago. Being an adeptus in heat is hard enough, but as a Jade Rabbit… it was especially hard on you.

You blink heavily, dumbly, your brain can’t keep up with all the emotions right now. You feel lightheaded but still manage to force out an answer. “N-No��� no, I’m… used to it.”

Morax tilts his head and the light catches on his majestic antlers making them glow, and you find it impossible not to look “Of course.” He nods, still keeping immaculate composure. “But haven’t you found a mate yet?”

A mate. Your rabbit ears droop. Ever since you vowed to serve Lord Morax you never had time for such things, with the on-going war and protecting the humans, even as a non-combatant adeptus your duties were many. Agricultural care and development, medical support, logistics… you never had it in you to find a mate. You were devoted to your contract, and, to Lord Morax himself.

“I’m… I haven’t found the r-right one yet…” You mumble, hugging yourself and rubbing at your arm nervously in an attempt to mimic something.

“Oh my child, I’m sorry.” Morax approaches you and tentatively cups your cheek, fingers barely caressing your jaw, the touch is fleeting yet electric.

His hand is warm.

You unconsciously lean into the touch.

And he smells so good, so good.

“I could assist you, if you would allow it.”

You immediately flinch back at the words.

“W-what?!”

Morax simply blinks at you and crosses his arms, putting some distance between you two again. “I apologize if my advances are unwelcome.”

“No my lord it’s n-not that.” You can’t help but stare at his strong biceps, blackened skin accented by fine gold linings…

You try to control your breathing and think! Rationally!!

But still, you’re curious. What would it be like? To feel your God’s scent, your God’s touch, your God’s co-

You quickly shake your head. No, no! That’s indecent, scandalous! You’re not worthy, that’s…

“It’s okay, my child.”

The warm touch is back, hands placed at your shoulders, grounding you, stabilizing you. A shiver runs down your spine yet it doesn’t freeze you on the spot, rather it feels…

Tender.

You stare up at him and this time hold your gaze. He’s handsome and his eyes are the purest brightest molten gold you've ever seen, the bright diamond pupils mesmerizing.

You whine and rub your thighs together on instinct.

“My Lord… p-please…”

-----------------------------------------------------------

“Ha-aahh… f-faster, please my Lord please- Ah-! Faster!”

You’re reduced to a babbling, moaning, drooling mess as you lay on golden silk sheets. Head down ass up, your arms have long since given up supporting you and your thighs tremble as Morax rams into your dripping wet pussy over and over and over again.

He lets out a low chuckle “So tight…” He whispers, voice deep and raspy with sex haze, the scent of your heat spurring him on and causing his own illuminated beast features to manifest, such as his powerful tail undulating behind him. “You’re practically dripping all over the place, and yet you take me so well…” his breath stutters with another snap of his hips and all you can do is moan loudly, mind foggy with need.

“Oh…” You gasp. “Oh.”

Without pause, he’s slamming into you repeatedly, pulling you down on his perfect thick cock and fucking fast methodical thrusts into you wet hole, aiming for a certain spot that has you seeing stars once he finds it.

“Ah! Ah… Ah!” Your voice barely registers through your own lust-hazed mind. Tears prickling at the corner of your eyes from the rapid buildup in your lower abdomen. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve already came, your juices coating your inner thighs and soiling the precious silken sheets. Not that he seems to mind. “O-Oh… Ohhhh. My Lord… M-Morax…”

You’re pretty sure your God has ruined you for anyone else. No mortal or immortal would ever be able to compare to his divine cock, deliciously thick and filling, the dragon shaft lined with small ridges that rub just right against your insides and so utterly big you swear you can feel a slight bump on your navel every time he bottoms out.

You keen and whine when his strong clawed hands pull at your hips. Seems like your legs are also giving up on you so he holds you in place instead. And you love it. His musky scent. His smooth deep voice. His unfaltering stamina.

The Prime of the Adepti. A strong and virile dragon.

And he chose to mate you.

Suddenly you feel him drape over your back, his larger frame practically caging you, pressing against you until his chest meets your sweaty back and you feel his ragged breath against your neck, scenting you and your heat pheromones before sharp fangs graze your tender skin.

You moan and your pussy clamps down on him. You are so close….

“You feel amazing.” He growls. “So good... s-so good for me.”

You buck your hips up to him, clumsily meeting his thrusts as your small fluffy tail twitches. “Nnngh!”

You feel him bite at your shoulder and the sharp jolt of pain is enough to send you spiraling into another climax, moaning high-pitched and gripping him tighter inside you even as he fucked into your slick warmth. Despite the orgasm he shows no signs of slowing down, so neither do you, as the unbearable heat continues to burn inside you, an itch you can’t quite scratch. His hands reach out for your skin, caressing your soft breasts and marveling at how beautifully they fit into his hands. He rubs circles into one of your nipples before pinching it lightly and is rewarded with another high keen and a spasm around his cock.

“P-Please… please… I need it. Please-” You pant, voice laced with desperation, your nails digging into the bedsheets.

“What do you want?” Morax asks, nosing at your neck and lapping at the reddened bite mark he branded into your skin. “Tell me what you need, little one.”

“Breed me!” You choke out “F-Fill me up Lord Morax, I need you to… fuck m-me full, pleasepleaseplease-”

And how could he deny such a sweet plea? Morax redoubles his efforts, panting with exertion and pushing harder, faster, deeper. Shrill little gasps escaping you as your mind goes blank from the pleasure.

“Hah- I’ll breed you properly… mhh… fill you up.” He pants, his pace getting sloppier, his tail trashing wildly, you feel him twitch inside you. “You’re all mine. Mine to take… to fuck, to own, to breed-”

Morax’s breath hitches and he lets out a choked groan, spilling his load inside you in thick creamy spurts as you keen and squirm under him, too fucked stupid for words. You coo happily as the heat under your skin finally abates and you feel full, so full of his seed.

His grip loosens as his hips gradually slow down, head hung low as he catches his breath, his cock occasionally twitching inside you until it eventually softens. He gently pulls out admiring the way your pussy clenches on him, the way your legs shake, weakly trying to lock him there, keep him inside you. The drag and pull of his thick cockhead over your sensitive insides making you keen and whimper from its abuse until your pliant body falls onto the sheets, whining pitifully when you feel his slick seed dribble out of your swollen pussy. You try to close your legs and weakly paw at your core.

No, no, no… it’s supposed to stay inside. Lord Morax’s precious cum-

You squeak as you feel something smooth and solid press against your pussy lips.

“Shhh my dear, shhh.” He coos at you, deep voice soothing your frazzled nerves. “This is just a little something to keep it in, to keep you full.” He pushes gently, working what you now realize was a cor lapis plug into your body. You made another whimpering noise as your lips parted for the toy he’d created for you. Red, puffy pussy folds spread open as they did for his cock, taking the tip before he worked the rest until it finally sunk in, lewdly resting against your opening, a glittering orange gemstone keeping you full. “There, nice and snug, do you like it?”

Your only answer is a little chirp, your eyes half-lidded as your body relaxes.  

“Such a good little bunny. You were so good to me my child, so good.” You smile drowsily at the praise, cooing at him as his hand pets your hair and scratches your fuzzy ear. He kisses at your shoulder and starts softly massaging your aching limbs “You were beautiful. You did so well, you took me so perfectly…”

You lean into his touch, curling up to his body, both of you still damp with sweat and other fluids. Resting for now until another wave of neediness hits you.

You both knew your heat would last at least other 4 days…

You idly wonder if by the end of the week you would be honored with carrying his offspring.

[strwberri-milk]

May I please request the LnDs boys with a reader who does NOT want children? Maybe something about how that discussion would go and/or what a child-free domestic life may look like with them.

the ONLY children ask i will take bc i do NAWT want kids and never understood the desire for surprise pregnancy endings in books - so this def has my inherent bias of "please do not impregnate me ty" - but also reader is still gn theres no mention on how you'll have children

Despite his own personal preferences, he's always known that his desire for children is directly contingent on your desire for kids. If you don't want kids, he doesn't want kids. If you do want kids, he'll come around to it. But, because it's not something he's devoted to wanting, the two of you have to be on the same page for him to consider having children with you.

You were nervous about bringing up the idea of no kids to Zayne because, in some aspects, you thought he'd be the sort of guy who wants to take care of his family - which includes some bundles of joy. You tell him that you understand if he can't accept that, expecting him to leave you when he tells you that it's not a problem to him. He doesn't want to force you to have children just because it's something he may want because he wants you far more.

Zayne likes the idea of children but not enough to ask if you'd change your mind. He's also glad in a sense that you don't want kids because he doesn't have to try and worry about how to make his schedule accommodate having a little one at home. It makes things easier for the two of you and that means that the days he has off can be days he spends with you and no other worries. He really needs the time to relax so you two grow quite accustomed to quiet datenights at home, something that stays consistent in your relationship to keep the spark in your relationship despite hectic schedules.

You weren't sure how Xavier would react because you had no idea what his stance on children could be. He doesn't really talk about his own childhood or react really to kids in any way that could give you a hint. You bring it up to him carefully, giving him the room to tell you his opinion.

Xavier wasn't too keen on the idea of having kids for no particular reason. The thought just didn't really intrigue him. Your life doesn't really change with or without kids - it just means the two of you get to have even more time together and have fun playing games with each other all evening without worrying about work for a bit.

Rafayel's never expressed wanting children but you've seen the way he is with kids. He's kind and gentle, taking his time to teach them things even if he claimed at first that he wasn't really too keen on working with them. You thought that he'd be stricter, or at least a little unable to teach them but somehow it comes naturally to him. He even lets them mess with him, giving nothing more than a good natured pout.

You worry that he'll leave you for it, confessing quietly that you don't want kids. He just shrugs and tells you that it doesn't really matter to him. If you don't want children, then the two of you won't have children - it's that simple to him. Besides, he doesn't know if he'd be a good solo dad. I still headcanon that Lemurians practise communal child rearing so Rafayel wouldn't really be sure how to approach being one of two primary parents without having a big support circle around him. He'd definitely learn with time but it intimidates him a little.

Ultimately, children aren't on his docket and he has other things to worry about. Plus, despite the fact that you think he'd be a great dad he knows that his habit of disregarding his personal health and the concept of time isn't something that would be conducive to parenthood.

Sylus doesn't really want children either. He doesn't say anything like that around you but when you bring it up to him he tells you that he's on the same page. His life is far too risky and he's already exhausted looking out for you on a constant basis so he knows that adding children into the mix would make things even more complicated.

He reassures you that his mind won't change just because things get safer or what have you. To him, the fact that he's not 100% on either side is enough for him to not have children. Things stay the same but if you want him to he'd still do things in a safer manner if it means giving you peace of mind, not because of the hope of children further down the line.

[joicecubes]

this started as a twitter post but it got way too long

i feel. INSANE. ABOUT FIDDLESTAN YOU GUYS. i’ll admit i didn’t get it at first, like the original concept seems kinda bonkers, they never interact! what a silly rarepair! BUT NO. I SAW A SINGLE PIECE OF FANART AND IT WAS OVER FOR ME. IM HOOKED. im sorry i need to talk about them

my favorite set-up for fiddlestan, and the one i see most people going with, is the idea that fiddleford comes back to ford’s house after ford’s already been sucked through the portal, so he finds stan instead. and thats like such perfect/devastating (depending on how you look at it) timing because their wounds from ford are both so raw.

i feel like this is gonna get long so. gay rambling under the cut

on the one hand, they get from each other what they never got from ford. or at least, what they lost from ford. fiddleford wants love, he wants his unwavering devotion to ford to be reciprocated. and stan, being such a deeply lonely person, can give him that! what he wants is companionship. he wants a friend, like what he had in his brother. he wants forgiveness. and god, fiddleford is one of the kindest, most forgiving characters in the show. if anyone will see where stan is coming from, if anyone can extend forgiveness and understanding where ford fell flat, it’s fiddleford.

and while this exemplifies just how deeply they would need each other in this scenario, when you think about how tightly they both clung to ford, there presents a very real possibility that one or both of them would feel like ford’s replacement.

stan is ford’s twin. people have played with the idea that fiddleford would see a lot ford in stan, even though they may not be very similar in demeanor. they look the same. and deep down, they do have similarities. alex hirsch said in a dvd commentary that there is more of ford in stan than he even realizes, and fiddleford would probably see that. not to mention just how deeply he would miss him.

and when stan has always felt like a worse version of ford, you can imagine he might feel like a stand-in, especially as him and fiddleford get closer. fiddleford, whether he means to or not, would definitely see his best friend in stan. he has his face for god’s sake!! and would stan just accept it? would he be upset to be seen in this light, to act as a replacement, or would he accept that he’ll always be second to ford? either way is just. DEVASTATING. for fiddleford to unintentionally confirm all of stan’s deepest fears and insecurities…

and then there’s what fiddleford is to stan. while i don’t think fiddleford would feel as deeply a replacement as stan does, he IS a big fucking nerd. and stan probably begged him for help getting ford back when he found out that fiddleford is not only a scientist, but worked on the portal in the first place. and he of course wants ford back too, but it wouldn’t surprise me if fiddleford ends up feeling like stan only keeps him around for that purpose and that purpose alone. to learn more about ford, to live vicariously through him as ford’s best friend. because stan is desperate to know more about him, to satiate this need, this wound of missing his brother for over a decade.

god and all the little things too… fiddleford being riddled with anxiety and stan being able to ground him, to knock some much-needed sense into him the next time he wants to pick up that memory gun. stan struggling to take care of himself, to see his own self worth, and fiddleford being there to make sure he eats enough food, reminds him to shower, helps wash or cut his unkempt hair. falling asleep holding each other, because they need that comfort, that warmth, that heartbeat, to feel okay enough to rest.

ugh you could do sooo much with these bitches it drives me up the wall. i feel so unwell just thinking about them. i could yap even more but i’ll keep that for another post

[matcha-gg]

Hello gang here's some art yaaaay!!

Um, I do not have an explanation for the first thing

The second drawing is a headcanon I stole from @/saiintvalentiine (sorry I'm not brave enough to tag her) but now that I re-read it it said wifies with the helix hoops, and I forgot to look up an image when I was drawing so I have a feeling I got it wrong, but, anyways

The last drawing is with a reference, and yeah, I don't think I've ever mentioned it but I really like to annotate stuff when I'm drawing about ideas and concepts and all that, so below is the messy background (idk???) version

in case you can't read my writing it just has the flower names, which are pink chrysanthemums which means devotion, white chrysanthemums which means loyalty, and yellow Freesias which means friendship, or at least that's what I found on the internet?? Although I love the language of flowers and all that I have 0 idea about it.

Sorry this got really long, I like talking

[project-sonadow]

Fate?

Summary: Sonic never cared about soulmates, but in a world where everyone had a red string of fate wrapped around their finger, Sonic decided to wear gloves.

Read the rest below!

To put it bluntly, Sonic had never cared about soulmates.

He wasn’t exactly unique in this mindset. In this modern day and era, it was only slightly progressive to spend your entire life without ever meeting your other half, let alone devoting your life to them. Radical ideas, such as platonic soulmates, familial soulmates, or even soulmates being bad if you ended up paired with the wrong person were common talking points in the general public and media. That red string of fate which had governed entire lives in the past no longer seemed critical to most people.

Sonic didn’t care about any of that either. In fact, until he started hanging around populated human areas more often, he didn’t realize there was so much controversy about it. He always lived how he wanted, paying barely any attention to the subject. 

-

Sonic’s friends all had very different opinions about soulmates.

Tails was kind of like him, in that he didn’t care about the red string encircling his pinkie and leading to a far-off point in the distance- or, at least, he pretended not to. Amy had been heartbroken that she and Sonic weren’t soulmates, before deciding to prove to Sonic and the world that true love couldn’t be predetermined by fate (her words, not his). Knuckles didn’t want to leave his duty for long enough to find his soulmate, and had admitted to Sonic once that he felt bad for whoever his soulmate was. Cream was excited to find her soulmate when she got older, but wasn’t under any illusion that it was a requirement for happiness in life, considering that her own mother was forever trailed by her own cut string, dragging limply on the ground, and seemed just fine despite that. Blaze and Silver both viewed it as a luxury that they couldn’t indulge in (ironic, because their shared red string of fate was apparently strong enough to cross through time and dimensions). Vector didn’t care about it at all, considering that he had his eyes set on Vanilla. Espio thought it would get in the way of his “duties as a ninja”, whatever that meant. Charmy just didn’t like the idea of relationships in general. Rouge hated the concept in general, Shadow refused to talk about it, and Omega said he would refuse to accept his soulmate unless they were willing to help him destroy Eggman. Big had a gentle kind of apathy towards his string. Whisper didn’t talk much about the subject to begin with, and considering that she wore blocker gloves 24/7 people didn’t ask her about it. 

Tangle…

Well, it seemed like she was trying very hard to convince herself that she didn’t care about the idea of never finding her soulmate. 

“I just don’t get why everyone thinks it’s such a big deal, y’know. Like it’s great if you do find your soulmate, and in a tiny village like mine half the soulmates are paired up before they’re teenagers, but it’s not like you need to do it! My moms aren’t soulmates and they’re doing just fine!”

Tangle’s moms were currently divorced and trying to rekindle their relationship, but Sonic decided not to bring that up.

“And then we have to throw a huge stupid party everytime someone comes back from vacation with their soulmate in tow, and I just. Ugh. We all make such a big deal out of getting to choose how to live our own lives, but we’re all born with this stupid string around our pinkies and told to go off and find the other end. It’s so annoying.”

This probably wasn’t what was actually bothering her, Sonic thought. It was probably the fact that one day her string had stopped moving by itself, only responding to Tangle’s own body, and currently led to a forest in the middle of nowhere with nobody at the other end. It was probably the fact that her soulmate had apparently been the type of person to try on a pair of blocker gloves one day and then never take them off.

Sonic thought about Whisper. About the blocker gloves she never took off, the way she started fiddling with them whenever Tangle was around. The way she looked so anxious whenever Tangle grabbed her by the hand and started running, like she was scared Tangle would pull the glove clean off. The way Tangle and Whisper looked at each other, in general.

Like always, he wondered if he should tell Tangle what he thought.

Like always, he decided against it.

“If you want a huge stupid party, I can always just throw you one, soulmate or no soulmate,” he said instead. “Hell, if you really want, we could pretend that we’re soulmates just to rub it in your town’s face.”

Tangle fake-gagged, and Sonic took fake-offense to that.

“Like you’re one to talk, Mr. Celebrity,” she said, and Sonic drew himself back a little, spines involuntarily bristling. “Whenever people talk about soulmates you just roll your eyes and say some shit about ‘living free’ and ‘going with the flow’. Do you really not want to find your soulmate? It would be easy for you.”

Sonic rolled his eyes, and then instantly realized what he had done when Tangle started laughing at him. He hastily cleared his throat. “Don’t know if there’s anyone who would be able to keep up with me.”

“I know at least three people who can go about as fast as you can,” Tangle said, punching his shoulder lightly. “C’mon, if you really didn’t care that much you wouldn’t wear those stupid blocker gloves all the time.”

Oh, so she had noticed. “Eh, I mostly wear these because I tend to get mobbed by crazy  fangirls if I don’t. If I make it obvious I’m not really available then most people won’t attempt to tell me that they’re totally different from the hundreds of other people who have been convinced we’re meant to be over the years.”

Tangle narrowed her eyes at that. “Crazy fangirls? Like Amy?”

“Crazier.”

“Wow, scary,” Tangle said, and then moved on to talking about how her own friends had set up a Sonic fanclub once, and the conversation moved on from there, and Sonic was glad he didn’t have to talk about it anymore. 

-

So yeah, Sonic wore blocker gloves, and yeah, it was so he wouldn’t be harassed about the subject whenever he showed his face in public, or when journalists ambushed him on the streets, or people edited photos of him to make it seem like he had a thin red line coming down from his pinkie and leading to some stranger in the photo. It was convenient. It was easy.

It was even mostly the truth.

Sonic knew a couple other people who wore blocker gloves- Blaze studiously kept hers on to keep up a vaguely professional air, even when her cheeks flamed fire-red every single time Silver so much as existed in her general vicinity, Espio had his on so the string couldn’t get in the way of his “duties as a ninja” (seriously, what the hell did that mean), Vector occasionally wore them on the job and had made half-hearted attempts to get a pair for Charmy, which kept on being mysteriously lost. Rouge and Shadow both wore a pair, presumably because of their super-secret spy jobs that Sonic wasn’t supposed to know about (glowing red strings which could phase through any solid object would probably make hiding difficult, he figured), and Omega had found a way to simply turn his string off, somehow, which was more impressive and terrifying than anything else Sonic had seen him do. 

The only person Sonic knew who steadfastly refused to wear blocker gloves was Vanilla, despite the troubles she sometimes saw because of them. She was a single mother whose string had been cut by an untimely death, and she didn’t care who knew it. She lived each day of her life with a bright, happy, genuine smile on her face.

She was, so far, one of the only people who had ever seen Sonic with his gloves off. The only other person besides Tails, actually, who built his gloves in the first place. And the only person who hadn’t said a word to him about the subject, just cleaned the cut he had gotten on his palm and told him to keep himself safe.

He was grateful to her for that.

Rouge was Vanilla’s polar opposite, in regards to the string. She not only hid her string, she made a show of hiding it, commissioning custom blocker gloves and shoving the subject right back in the face of any poor soul who dared to question her about it. She had a million and one excuses for why she didn’t want to find her soulmate, all of them tiptoeing around the truth and never once touching on the actual reason why. She bragged about being able to date anyone she wanted even without showing her string off. She complained about not wanting to be tied down. She whined about how annoying societal expectations were. She crowed about the amount of people who desperately wanted to be her soulmate.

Sonic saw through all of this as the extravagant bullshit that it was, but he really had no idea what the actual reason was. Didn’t really care either. It wasn’t like she brought the subject up an annoying amount either, she was far more likely to yammer on for hours about her one and only actual love (jewels) than she was to start talking about literally any other subject (and if he could put up with the jewel talk, then he could put up with anything). 

It was just that sometimes when they hung out, people would get the wrong idea about them. Sonic and one of his friends (a woman at that), both with blocker gloves, spending time together, alone? It was apparently unthinkable to some that they could just be friends. So they both made a big joke out of it, Rouge flaunting how untouchable she was and Sonic pretending to be heartbroken. It made for some hilarious think pieces about how Sonic was a bad role model, at the very least.

Still, he didn’t want to deal with all of that every time they hung out, which was why Rouge had dragged Shadow along with them this time, mentioning that he owed her for something.

So here they were, sequestered away in a tiny café, Rouge and Sonic talking about everything and nothing, while Shadow was also there, sipping delicately at his tea while Sonic chugged his large chocolate milkshake and Rouge got whipped cream from her hot chocolate all over her face. 

Good times.

For once, the general populace seemed content to ignore them, at least for now, so the conversation went wherever it wanted to, Sonic and Rouge loud and energetic, Shadow quiet and solemn (despite the fact that there was nothing to be solemn about).

At least, nothing until Rouge spilled hot chocolate all over her glove. 

“Ohgoddamnitshit,” Rouge said, all in one breath, dabbing at the stain on her very expensive glove with a napkin, a small frown on her face, before it turned into an outright scowl. “Oh come on-”

She shifted her wrist, and Sonic saw what had bothered her so much. Some of the liquid must have gotten into some of the actual electronics in the glove and messed with it, because Sonic could now see Rouge’s string. Rouge’s cut string.

Rouge groaned, and then shoved her hand under the table, her head in her other hand. “Not. A. Word.”

She said it lightly, like Sonic and Shadow had just seen her do something embarrassing instead of accidentally revealing that her supposed other half was dead and buried, but Sonic could hear the threat in her tone, and he wasn’t going to tell anyone about it anyway. He mimed sealing his lips shut, Shadow just gave her a terse nod, and before either of them could do anything Rouge had thrown some cash onto the table and ran out the front door, presumably to go home, get a new pair of blocker gloves, and hide her face from them for at least a couple months.

Sonic put his chocolate shake down on the table. He had a feeling it wouldn’t taste anywhere near as good as it did a second ago.

“I know Rouge already said as much, but if you tell anyone else about that, you’ll regret it,” Shadow said, the threat in his far less concealed than Rouge’s had been.

“I won’t, jeez,” Sonic said. “I’m not an asshole. And I don’t care about soulmates either.”

Shadow just raised an eyebrow at him, and Sonic glared back half-heartedly. “Those gloves serve a purpose, Sonic.”

“I only wear these because I’m a celebrity for some reason, and people think that makes it okay to pry into every detail of my life.”

“‘For some reason’,” Shadow said, mostly to himself, sounding incredulous. “That can’t seriously be the only reason you wear them.”

Well, it wasn’t, but he wasn’t about to tell Shadow that. Especially when he had no idea what the other hedgehog thought about soulmates beyond just a general unwillingness to speak about the topic. He was born over 50 years ago and raised by a bunch of uptight scientists in literal outer space, so Sonic was curious if he had any different opinions from the general crowd he hung out with.

Shadow didn’t seem willing to share, so Sonic decided to push the issue. Just a bit. “Why do you wear blocker gloves?”

Shadow’s lips curled in a vaguely unpleasant way. “I don’t want to find my soulmate. That’s all.”

Well, that was an unsurprising and boring answer. “Okay, but what would you do if you met your soulmate and fell head-over-heels in love with them? Or if you’ve already met your soulmate, but didn’t know because of the gloves?”

“I wouldn’t fall in love with anyone. And I’m not even slightly concerned about the second possibility. There is nobody in my life who I would want to become my life partner.”

Sonic pouted at him, and something in his chest hurt, just a bit. “Nobody? Not even little old me?”

Shadow’s expression flickered, before it hardened again. “I hope, for your sake, that what you just said was a joke. I’m an immortal being, Sonic. My string will end up cut, at some point or another.”

“Hmm. Good point,” Sonic said. “Well, unless your soulmate is Omega, I guess.”

Shadow choked on his drink, and Sonic couldn’t help but grin like a maniac even as Shadow glared at him (it was less scary than normal, with tea dripping out of his mouth and into his chest fluff. He looked adorable. Sonic tried not to think about the fact that he thought Shadow was adorable). 

Sonic decided against talking about it anymore for his own health (Shadow had proved he was more than willing to suplex Sonic through a table if he annoyed him too much), so instead he just waited for Shadow to finish his tea before handing him some gold rings to pay for the half-drunken milkshake. Shadow glared at the rings like they offended him. “They don’t accept those as payment in human establishments.”

“My mistake,” Sonic said cheekily. “Guess I’m dining and dashing. The next date will be my treat.”

And then he dashed before Shadow could actually suplex him through the table.

-

Sonic didn’t leave the city when he left the café, instead opting to nap on the nearest rooftop before night fell. Whenever he visited the big cities he always made sure to stay off the streets themselves. With so many people all locked into one tiny area, the red strings, thin and frail as they were, became far too many, all at once, hundreds and thousands and millions of them all crisscrossing their way across every visible surface, choking his view and making it impossible to run unless he wanted to be half-blind. So he stuck to the rooftops, and waited for night so he could at least get a good view for his trouble.

At night, the streets of every city lit up, suffused with a red glow, invisible during the day but radiant when the sun went down. The strings varied in size, thickness, length, how strong they were, how much they were moving, but every single one of them, collectively, bound people together in the most literal way possible. If you had a soulmate, it was impossible to get rid of your string. It would remain there until the day you died, so most people still said it was better to try and use it, to find happiness with your other half.

Sonic didn��t put much stock in that idea. Or in the idea of other halves existing in the first place. Some of his friends called him an idealist for thinking so, but he had always believed that people were complete by themselves, and that finding someone else made them something more than just themselves. 

Shadow would probably call him an idealist for that, too. Even if he had a sneaking suspicion it was something close to what the other hedgehog thought.

Or maybe Shadow would just call him stupid. 

High on his chosen perch, Sonic surveyed the glove on his right hand. Tails had made it for him. It was mostly pure white, just like his old gloves, but with a thin ring of silver at the bottom which made its purpose obvious. It looked professionally made. To everyone except him and Tails, it even looked like it worked. 

When he removed it, his hands were bare, free from any string. He never had one in the past, and would probably never have one in the future. Sonic had learned a long time ago how people reacted when they realized he didn’t have a soulmate, and decided he hated it even back then. The gloves were a convenience, a way for him to avoid explaining himself, a preventative measure to stop everyone from looking at him like he was broken. 

Because Sonic wasn’t broken. He only needed himself, so even if fate said he was doomed to be alone he was perfectly fine with that.

Sonic thought back to Shadow, in the café. 

Well, there was a reason he had never put much stock in fate, either.

[malfiora]

Good Enough

Bruce probably wasn't meant to hear it, but his heart squeezes all the same. His fingers clutch at his chest and his throat works around the lump suddenly lodged in it.

"I'll have to ask my dad," Dick had said. The words belong to another child, one Bruce has never met. But that voice – its tone, its warmth, its certainty – is Dick. Undeniably, unmistakably Dick. He's talking to one of his teachers (Mr. Mather, he recalls only because he had to deal with Dick's insistence that his biology teacher be called Ms. Sciencer for weeks) and he grins when he spots Bruce stalled by the door. "Oh, speak of the devil."

Bruce stumbles his way through a conversation about Dick's exceptional grades and aptitude for abstract concepts and how he has real potential as a mathlete, but his brain is humming with wordless excitement at the word "dad" and eager to hear it tickle the air again. He floats on that feeling all the way home, even elongating their return to tell Alfred to pull over at that fast food joint Dick likes, the one with the milkshakes.

And then he crashes. Dick disappears into his room to allegedly do homework (Bruce is eighty-five percent sure he's actually hopping onto his computer to IM Barbara Gordon), and with him vanishes the warmth of being considered a father. Left in its wake is a coldness injecting nausea into his gut.

He can't be a – he doesn't know how to – when did Dick even – and why him? The past three years flash by in reverse: Dick dancing through a spray of bullets, tears streaming from Dick's mask as he watched Batman fall from a snapped line just like they did, Dick standing proudly before a mirror in his brand new costume, a gleam of murderous intent staring up at him, a broken boy swallowed up in an EMT's blanket while his world lay shattered at his feet. What has he done? How could he think that drawing this bright kid into his dark roost was a good idea? And now Dick thinks of him as a father figure – it's too late to go back, isn't it?

He isn't John Grayson, will never be, doesn't want to try. He hears the whispers among polite society speculating why he won't adopt Dick, but none of them come close to the truth. It's rooted in fear (inaction always is). Fear that he'll be seen as the fraud he is, and then Dick will leave and regret ever calling him "dad."

He's not even Thomas Wayne, not for lack of trying. His memories of the man are faded around the edges but he knows he devoted himself completely to any and all that he loved: his career, his wife, his son. Thomas Wayne didn't do anything by halves. But Bruce Wayne is constantly torn – one foot planted in civilian domesticity fumbling his way through raising a child, the other firm in Gotham's underbelly hellbent on redeeming the damned while keeping his kid partner safe from the danger that he throws him into in the first place.

"Sir," Alfred calls, his voice soft. "If you're done drilling a hole through the carpet with your eyes, I've put tea on."

Bruce blinks and looks up at Alfred. "Tea sounds great, Alfred."

He plods after Alfred and into the tearoom. Alfred deftly sets out cups, saucers, and bowls of cream and sugar before pouring the fresh brew. Bruce murmurs a "thanks" before sipping his. Alfred lowers himself into the seat opposite his at the small table.

"Master Dick seems to be doing well at the Academy," Alfred says. "I can't imagine that that caused your dour mood."

Those who call Batman the world's greatest detective just haven't met Alfred. "Dick called me 'dad' today," he explains calmly. "Not to my face. I overheard him say it to his teacher."

Alfred hums. "Could mean nothing."

That's...true. Dick may have used the term as shorthand. "Dad" is easier to say than "legal guardian" and more specific and personal than "Bruce." It could have been a Freudian slip, Dick's mind supplying him with a cognitive shortcut subconsciously. Bruce sets his tea down and stares into the liquid.

"Or," Alfred presses on (Bruce hates the way his heart lifts a little), "he is starting to see you – us – as his family." Alfred sips and watches him.

"That's what I'm afraid of," he admits after a while. "Alfred, I'm not – Dick deserves so much better than –"

When it's clear that Bruce won't finish the sentence, Alfred clears his throat gently. "If I may, I'd like to share a secret with you." Bruce nods. "There was a time that I considered leaving you."

Bruce's eyes widen. "What?"

Alfred nods. "I thought that after your parents, I was the last person who should raise a child, especially one who needed his world put back together. Surely the Kanes would have made better surrogates. Perhaps a foster if a suitable one could be found." He smirked. "I almost considered the Queens before that awful accident."

The blood is rushing in Bruce's ears. Alfred, his most loyal and longest friend, had wanted to leave him? "What changed?"

Alfred takes another sip, contemplates. "I don't think anything has. Everyday I wonder if I made the right choice. If I am being selfish staying in your life simply because I love you too much to let you go."

Again, Bruce's chest squeezes. Alfred, his Alfred, has the exact same fear. That somehow he'll fail his charge, will lose him. And all this time, Bruce has never considered going anywhere, can't imagine his life without Alfred in it. Maybe – is that how Dick feels? That Bruce is his? God, if that's true then...then Bruce as he is just has to be good enough. Because he's not going to let Dick go.

"My son," he says, testing the word. It tastes sweeter than the tea on his tongue.

[leggerefiore]

I fear now we need all of the men navigating NNN. My beloved man Cyrus would see no problem with the challenge and would probably call it dumb

Cyrus is victorious by default. His low libido makes it no challenge, after all. Though, he absolutely is not actively participating. He finds the concept dumb and sees no reason to indulge it. He just wins because he does not ever really seek sex unless it's to appease his partner or to cope with horribly strong emotions. Basically, as long as you don't demand sex nor does anything make emotions run high, he's winning without trying.

Grimsley is dying but trying his absolute damnedest. The gambler has the highest libido of the group and is the resident manwhore (before settling down with his partner… who now has to deal with his sexual appetite). Despite this, however, he loves a challenge. If you offer a bet to him about making it through November like this, he will agree. The price you pay will likely be something insane. He is surprisingly resolute about it all. He has trained himself to hide his emotions, after all. Teasing him seems ineffective. Though, he can and may break. In truth, it is a battle of his love of gambling versus sex.

Colress agrees. Why? Well, for one, he believes he can do just fine without sex. But, also, because this is valuable data! How will your bond with one another change due to the lack of sex? How will you react? How will he feel? He has read plenty of studies on the supposed benefits, but he is eager to see if they truly are to occur. Basically, November becomes a personal study for him. Be ready to he observed (as usual).

Nanu grumbles and says no. He is not having his schedule and sexual proclivity dictated by some internet meme. He is too damn old for that. If you want to go in on it, be his guest. He has handled his own needs before, and he can handle them now. Will not participate and cannot be convinced.

Lear is bewildered, but it is a challenge. He scoffs and says that seems easy enough. A month without sex or masturbation? Nothing in comparison to his training to be king. Behold his kingly restraint! (He breaks down halfway in and demands that you stop, too. He is about to snap.)

N doesn't know what you're talking about. He just blinks. Going without nuts for a month? He supposes that some people with nut allergies deal with this for a lifetime, so a month should not be impossible. Do not try to explain further. It is not worth it. He can win by default, too, since he's not inclined towards sex. He mostly meets his partner's needs in that department.

Volo squints his eyes at you. Why are you proposing this to him? He feels as if you are messing with him. Even if you try to explain, there is little to do to convince him. Wager the Azure Flute or something, and he might agree. His willpower is quite terrifying solely towards Arceus. Otherwise, he is not giving up sex for some frivolous challenge. Even pulling the Arceus's Chosen card fails.

Maxie ponders what the hell you are talking about and agrees because you make some comment about Archie being able to do it. Of course, he can go a month without that! He is a man of science and restraint. He suffers endlessly, and his temper is flaring. Magma grunts will beg you to call off whatever you did to their boss. He gives up nearly at the end.

Archie is going to refuse since he doesn't really see how that could be fun or anything beneficial to him. It is only when you mention Maxie apparently being able to do it that he agrees. He surprisingly makes it through the entire month. His mood is barely effected. Maxie is mortified when he hears the news.

Giovanni thinks you're insane, laughs at you, and says no. Then, when you mention it being a display of his strength, he reconsiders. Suddenly, he devotes his entire focus to such a thing and proving you wrong. He will make it through by becoming extremely pissy and by the skin of his teeth. His prize is locking you away for a day and making up for the lost month.

Lysandre supposes he has heard of something like that before. Yet, strangely, nothing can convince him to participate. It simply cannot be done. He says it is a waste of time and energy. (In truth, he simply cannot deny himself pleasure and uses sex as a way to express his love.)

[mirai-e-jump]

Hero Vision Vol.43 (2012/Winter) ft. Kamen Rider OOO Cast Members Watanabe Shu & Miura Ryosuke Memorial Trip (translations below)

Publication: March 7, 2012

-Silent Relationship-

Miura: In the year and a half since I first met Shu, the more I got to know him, the more I liked him.

Watanabe: In what ways?

Miura: Shu's been an actor for 3 years, right? Just as anything can be mastered after 3 years, I think you're at the stage where you've established your "base."

Watanabe: During that time, I was able to work on "Kamen Rider OOO," something I had always dreamed of doing, and, I was also able to meet Ryon-kun

Miura: Shu was grateful for everything and didn't take anything for granted, so he was able to establish a proper base. It's become his strength, and now he can go anywhere and do anything. If we want to learn from our mistakes, we make them, if we want to succeed, we make it happen. He's only 20 years old, so he's got alot of potential. I've been an actor for 10 years, and I'm at the point where I'm thinking, "What should I be doing from now on?" There are many people who say that if you can't do something, you're not allowed to do it. At the 10 year turning point, I was able to be apart of OOO, a work that I could really devote myself to. I realized that because I had the opportunity to meet Shu, who had so much potential, I had the chance to reflect on myself.

Watanabe: I've noticed alot of things from Ryon-kun too. Ryon-kun must've been thinking alot about how to make Ankh a "beloved monster," and how to express "Ryosuke Miura" himself in his photobooks. Never wasting any energy or time. The clothes, makeup, facial expressions, and movements all convey the desire to create a theme or concept, and then accomplishing it. That's why I used to get so angry during the filming of OOO. Especially when the makeup artist didn't arrive at the right time or there was a delay on set.

Miura: There were many times when I'd "freeze" the scene with a single word I said…..But, that was because I thought, "This isn't the way work should be done," or "This isn't the way the workplace should be."

Watanabe: Yeah, I want to learn from Ryon-kun's professionalism. That's how I was taught to be aware in the field, with a straight forward attitude to straighten things out. Ryon-kun has his own principles, and he wants to make sure that they're properly carried out, right?

Miura: I don't like being taken advantage of like I used to. I don't want people to think, "This is good enough for a young actor." Shu and I would never suck up to someone in a higher position. That's not what we're about, we want to make ourselves recognized by growing on the set. That's why I didn't have any unnecessary conversations with Shu or anyone else before a real take. Being an actor is job where you have to keep fighting with yourself, and there are many times where you'll feel lonely. There are some sites where the cast members act casual in order to make up for it, but I don't like that.

Watanabe: When Ryon-kun was on standby, there was a sense of tension that spread through the set. I could hear him quietly saying, "No more playing around." It was then that I realized, "This isn't the place to be screwing around," and I think the rest of the cast and staff felt the same way.

Miura: Everyone in OOO was able to perform with a high level of professionalism. If someone as talkative as Shu was on the scene without thinking, I feel like he would've caused too much trouble.

Watanabe: The reason that didn't happen was because of Ryon-kun. He led us through his actions. I did many things to Ryon-kun though. Things like the "Cola Incident."

Miura: You're going to bring this up again?! (laughs)

Watanabe: While on location for filming of the second half, Ryon-kun said he, "Wanted to drink some cola", so I told him, "I'll buy some for you," but I couldn't find a vending machine. While on the location bus eating my boxed lunch and thinking, "I'll take care of it later," Ryon-kun came to me and said, "Why are you eating food instead of buying me a cola?" You were just messing around, but you were still angry, right?

Miura: I just wanted to eat together with you.

Watanabe: It didn't feel like that (laughs). It wasn't just the cola, you were frustrated by alot of other things, right? I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Why don't you have lunch?," I was able to buy a cola on location after filming, so I left it on Ryon-kun's seat.

Miura: When Eitoku-san (Suit Actor who played Ankh) told me, "It's from Shu-kun," I remember being really happy. Doing things like that, Shu always fills the space in my heart.

-On an adventure together-

Miura: Since OOO is over, I think we should go on more adventures.

Watanabe: Adventures?

Miura: To use a styling analogy, Shu often says, "Ryon-kun, what are you going to wear today? What should I do?" But, it doesn't matter what I answer. I know that you're always looking for the answer that's inside of you. I know this because I usually have an answer in my mind, even though you ask for opinions from others.

Watanabe: That's right. I'm impatient and want to know the answer right away, so I'll ask, "What do you mean?," and sometimes I'll say, "That's what it means, right?," responding before the other person can answer.

Miura: When it comes to clothing, Shu would say, "This isn't my style, so I won't wear it." I used to think, "I can't do this," but wearing different clothes changes you, and sometimes you like them even better. I've come to believe that these things are like anything else.

Watanabe: It's easy to understand if you compare it with clothes. Ryon-kun's visual sense of adventure is incredible. Are you still exploring things? Or have you decided that this is your style?

Miura: I don't decide. It's not that I think, "I'm the one who wears leopard print," I just think, "I'm the coolest" or "I'm definitely cuter than other people." Coolness and cuteness differs depending on the person, but I want to do everything I can and can only do now, fully utilizing both my own ideals and the appeal of the Ryosuke Miura that others desire.

Watanabe: Hmmm~ (is impressed). When I saw Ryon-kun's paisley patterned setup with a blue background, I thought, "So cute!~" (From Miura-kun's blog, February 20, 2011). When I saw it, I thought, "People can do so many things!" But since it's Ryon-kun, it'll probably take some time before I can pull it off myself~.

Miura: Wanna do it? (laughs). You've got an adventurous spirit.

Watanabe: Ryon-kun is slim, so he looks good in both cool and cute styles.

Miura: I used to avoid leather jackets because they didn't fit my body type, but after I was allowed to wear a biker's jacket as part of Ankh's costume, I began to think, "They're cool." Then I started to wear them in my private life, and now I wear them alot. You should try wearing them too.

Watanabe: Isn't it boring to settle on an idea?

Miura: No matter what Shu wears or what he does, he's still Shu. But it's definitely fun to be particular. Now, let's try wearing skinny jeans in our private lives.

Watanabe: Can I really wear them~?

Miura:: It doesn't matter if the zipper doesn't close. Just think that skinny is the only thing in this world!

Watanabe: That's an interesting concept! (laughs).

-We want to be "special" to each other-

Watanabe: In contrast to his fashion, Ryon-kun keeps his own problems to himself.

Miura: I just don't tell Shu about them.

Watanabe: What?! I should be the first one you tell!

Miura: Shu doesn't listen to other people. When he speaks, he looks the other person in the eye and leans forward, but when the other person begins to speak, he lowers his tone and says, "Hmm, hmm…."

Watanabe: My goal this year will be to listen!

Miura: Shu wants to be the center of attention. It's cute how visibly flustered he gets when someone other than himself is being focused on (laughs).

Watanabe: I don't like it when Ryon-kun hangs out with someone else, talks to someone else without me, or talks about something I don't understand even though we're together. I think, "What? Is Ryon-kun that type of person?," it's similar to the jealousy of accusing someone of cheating.

Miura: !!! (he burst out laughing). It's fine when he interrupts the conversation or tries to compete with me by saying, "I'm better than you," but it's a problem when he stays quiet. Shu doesn't talk when he's angry. When I say something, I have to say it all…..

Watanabe: That anger may be because he thought of me, or it may be about something that isn't negotiable at work. While I was happy, I was also worried about Ryon-kun himself.

Miura: At times like that, he'd ask, "Ryon-kun, what's wrong?" Whenever he's in a bad mood, I always try to calm him down, and I'm lucky if I also don't get stuck in a bad mood.

Watanabe: I overdid it sometimes (laughs). However, many things happened during our time together. I had alot of happy times and alot of frustrating times. I don't want to talk about it because it might distort my position and my feelings about the show……but, I thought it was great that Ankh was loved by so many people.

Miura: I think so too. Every time I saw Shu acting brave as the main character, and seeing him being loved by the staff, I thought it was something I couldn't do. Humans are always begging for something they don't have. We have different positions and characters, so it's not like we want to change for the other person (bitter smile).

Watanabe: Thanks to that, I was able to become more attached to my role and love it even more. What may seem like a negative thing can end up improving each other. Because I'm like that, no matter how close Ryon-kun is to other actors in his private life, he always comes back to me in the end. I'm number one among Ryon-kun.

Miura: Where does that confidence come from?

Watanabe: It's my desire for it to be that way.

Miura: (laughs). It's true that Shu is special to me. I've been surrounded by older people since I was little. There are people who pampered me and people who took good care of me, but somehow I couldn't trust them enough, and I always thought, "I have to get my act together." Especially on set, there's no place to relax….

Watanabe: That's true….

Miura: But, Shu's special. Only Shu can be spoiled. Shu's the first one where I think I can do anything with this person. Whether it's a photo shoot or an event, when Shu says, "Ryon-kun, it's okay," I can trust him with everything. Shu changed me from my very core.

Watanabe: Ehhh? Am I spoiled?

Miura: Shu was given special treatment during the photo shoot, right? When we all went to a donut shop to celebrate the makeup artist's birthday, I only bought grape juice for Shu (laughs).

Watanabe: That's right! I was the only one! (is happy).

Miura: I remember things like that every now and then. "We were together every day when we co starred together, so now it's fine if we don't see each other for a few months," I don't know why I ever said that……

Watanabe: Did you realize how much I meant to you after you left? Perhaps you got stuck in the "Watanabe Spiral?"

Miura: What does that mean?! (laughs).

Watanabe: It's the same for me. When I entered the set of OOO, I realized how blessed I was to be there. I felt like everyone loved me so much. At such times, I want to meet Ryon-kun and to confirm that, "I'm not alone."

Miura: Ahahaha!! (he bursts out laughing).

Watanabe: Well, after all, it's lonely, and we have to say "bye bye" now that we've finished filming.

Miura: I thought it was fine up until now, but I want to continue working with Shu and the others…..But, Shu doesn't think I'm special. To Shu, everyone is special.

Watanabe: What are you talking about?! Ryon-kun is the only one who keeps in touch with me this much.

Miura: I don't contact you as much as you say.

Watanabe: Is this because of the "email incident?"

Miura: When we first met, I said, "I don't feel comfortable messaging men."

Watanabe: I don't even message my friends to say, "See you tomorrow." The only emails I send are things like reminding my parents to send me contact lenses, or business matters like saying "I understand" to my manager (laughs). And yet, even though I send them to Ryon-kun myself, I can't?

Miura: You attach heart marks too.

Watanabe: That's right. Because you're really special to me.

Miura: I see (is satisfied). I'm a person who wants "Love" to exist in everything, including people, things, and work. I expect the same from others, can be jealous, and am abit troublesome.

Watanabe: Really? What if I want love too?

Miura: Then we're the same (is satisfied again).

Watanabe: I also rely on Ryon-kun. If I'm at a loss for materials at an event, if I'm talking too much, or if I feel like I'm going to make things worse, I'll say, "Hey, Ryon-kun?" and wave at him. When Ryon-kun replies, "Yeah?" or "What is it~," I respond with, "Miura-san, can I ask you something?," and then we end it with a joke.

Miura: Ah, that interaction, it really saved you (laughs). I'm glad~.

-The complete opposite path-

Miura: I feel at ease knowing that I'll be able to meet Shu again in the future, whether it's for interviews or at someone's birthday party. But, I'd like to keep in touch with Shu more easily. Even if it's, "I'm hungry, let's get something to eat even though we only have an hour."

Watanabe: Let's do it, let's do it!

Miura: And yet, for some reason, Shu can't do that……

Watanabe: Me being underage was probably a big part of it, huh? I also found myself wanting to meet Ryon-kun. Well, I already told you today, I'll change our relationship.

Miura: Please, by all means.

Watanabe: But, I'm short of money, and lately I've been eating alot of foods with a combination of bean sprouts (laughs). I don't like it when Ryon-kun takes care of me.

Miura: It'd be fun to have a "tasty bean sprout eating contest" at Shu's house.

Watanabe: Sounds good! I'm the best when it comes to bean sprouts, right?

Miura: Save some for me (laughs). Even if you say, "I can't do it because I don't have enough money," I'll say, "Okay, let's do it next time," or "It's okay, let's go together." Shu is serious about things like this. He seems to live freely, but he always tightens up where he needs to. It was the same with OOO.

Watanabe: That's because, as much as I was happy to be able to appear in a production that I admired, I also felt anxious and pressured. When it came to my acting, my responsibilities as the lead role, and communicating with Ryon-kun and the others…..I had alot of worries. When I saw Ryon-kun worrying, I had an optimistic attitude and said, "That's not something to worry about, right?," and it was because I didn't want to show everyone that I myself was worried and depressed.

Miura: Ah…I see…..

Watanabe: For me, I wanted to be everyone's "sunshine" on set. I felt that it was required of me, and I really wanted to make my dreams come true in a better way by being that way. That's why I wanted to challenge myself to do things that were beyond my capacity.

Miura: You overdid things.

Watanabe: I feel so too. There were times when I held in what I wanted to say because I didn't want to get into a fight with Ryon-kun. I instinctively avoided him because I was afraid that if my relationship with Ryon-kun deteriorated, it would become even more difficult to stand firm.

Miura: Why can we talk like this now?

Watanabe: I guess it's because I started seeing things from a different perspective. Just because I talked to someone about my troubles doesn't mean that the tension on set goes down. I don't think I needed to hold myself back so much, and I probably should have talked to Ryon-kun about it. I had too many assumptions about how things should be.

Miura: But, everyone was at ease saying, "Shu-kun doesn't change every day," and they respected Shu for that. This work was possible only because Shu was able to suppress his "insecurity" and "impossibility" and stand firm. By letting me out, the both of us survived together.

Watanabe: I see……We were complete opposites, but we faced the same direction as well.

Miura: That's why my feelings for Shu are actually very simple. At first I was surprised and thought, "Such a person exists!," then I thought, "He's amazing," "He's wonderful," and "I love him." I'm so grateful for him.

Watanabe: It feel the same. For me, this year and a half was because of Ryon-kun.

Miura: Now that our environments are changing, I think it's okay to feel down and talk to others when things get tough. You may run into conflicts when you ask for someone's opinion, and they may not tell you how to solve them, but it is much better than worrying about them alone. I don't want to run into the same problems again, so I think about them until the very last moment, and if it still doesn't work, I vent about it to someone else.

Watanabe: I see…..that sounds fine. Ryon-kun will listen to me now, right?

Miura: Of course, go ahead.

Watanabe: Thank you. Hah~……Today was the first time I've heard or talked about many things. I didn't have as much time as I thought I did while we were performing together (bitter smile). I think there are still alot of things I haven't talked about with Ryon-kun.

Miura: Let's talk whenever you want. It's sad to see the show end, but it was a year and a half of many encounters. I'm very happy that the people who came to know us through these encounters are supporting both of us together. I hope everyone will continue to watch over and support us as husband and wife for many years to come.

Watanabe: (laughs). It's been over a year and a half since me and Ryon-kun became a pair….I believe that together we were able to bring dreams and smiles to many people. We want you to support us forever, and let's grow even more so that we can live up to that.

Miura: Right!

_

Japanese Alphabet with Shu and Ryosuke (+ other page details)

Go to Hakone (page 65)

A: "The moment I'm in love" (Ai o kanjiru toki)

Shu: It's constant……Like the other day, when Ryon-kun gave me the bracelet that he'd been wearing for such a long time. Why'd you do that?

Ryosuke: I've been wearing it for many years now, and I wanted someone I cherish to have something that I cared about. I wonder if Shu writes about me on his blog or talks about me at events.

Shu: I wrote about Ryon-kun in my first blog of the year!

E: "The important part" (Erai tokoro)

Shu: It's strange for me to say this, but he's extremely professional. However, when he messes up, he really messes up.

Ryosuke: The organizers do a better job (laughs).

Shu: I was the organizer of my 20th birthday party and the New Year's party during OOO (laughs). Because it was a party with Ryon-kun and the others, I took the initiative.

Ryosuke: Everyone gets together because it's Shu, and even if they can't make it, they'll definitely let him know.

I: "Want to hold an event?" (Ibento o yarunara)

Ryosuke: A comedy act. At the request of one of my fans at a live event, they said I should be the funny man and Shu should be the straight man (laughs).

Shu: I like singing with Ryon-kun, so it'd be a concert.

O: "What happens when you're mad?" (Okoruto dounaru)

Shu: Ryon-kun stops talking to me and drags me through the day. He's never honest, even if he's sorry during the middle of the day, he won't talk to me until the next day.

Ryosuke: Shu is more flustered than mad. He always wants to be the center of attention, so when I'm talking to someone else, he wants to get between us (laughs).

U: "The jealous part" (Urayamashii tokoro)

Shu: Your visuals and the way you present yourself to the media. The way that you know what's expected of you and can express it.

Ryosuke: That you're full of potential. _

Arrives in Hakone Yumoto (page 66)

(top right) "Although the Romancecar (express train) had some trouble and had to stop at Odawara, it arrived safely at Hakone Yumoto without incident! "We have to take a picture that we've arrived!," and Watanabe-kun and Miura-kun went together to stand in front of the signboard."

KU: "A frustrated heart" (Kuyashii kokoro)

Ryosuke: There are alot of things. He bought an iPhone before I did, he built the cool and stylish house he lives in now, and he's a really strong drinker (laughs).

Shu: His fashion sense. Even if it's a single bag, it's an expensive high brand item!

KE: "Your ideal marriage partner" (Kekkon aite ni osusume ha)

Ryosuke: Definitely Shu. I think he'd be a good dad. He'd take us to various places to have fun, find amazing things for us to do during Summer vacation, and make delicious food to eat.

Shu: Definitely Ryon-kun. He can cook and do housework like a wife. Just being together with him is healing.

KO: "Love" (Koi)

Shu: When it comes to love, I want an answer immediately, so all I want to know is, "I like you or I don't like you." I don't think I could play around.

Ryosuke: I can't do it either. And I'm pretty jealous, so I'm sure I'll weigh them down.

Shu: There are some people who feel more loved the more they're bound!

Ryosuke: I guess so…..I wonder if it has to do with compatibility….

KA: "The cute parts" (Kawaii tokoro)

Ryosuke: His smile and dimples!

Shu: He's surprisingly innocent. I'm the same way, but when he's moved by something, he becomes all, "Uwa~ah!! (with sparkling eyes)"

KI: "Areas of concern" (Ki ni naru tokoro)

Shu: Sometimes, at our events, we'd speak using a fake Kansai dialect (laughs). Saying things like, "Why's that?" and "Is that so?"

Ryosuke: Even though neither of us are from the Kansai region (laughs).

Shu: It did make me feel closer to the guests though. _

Hatsuhana (page 67)

(top center) "When walking in front of Hakone Yumoto Station,"

Shu: Is that the soba shop? Right over there?

Ryosuke: It says "Inn" (laughs).

"Within a 5 minute walk, Watanabe-kun discovers multiple phantom soba shops."

SA: "The surprising thing" (Sapuraizu na koto)

Shu: I'll say it here. I got a Bluray recorder from Ryon-kun as a present for my 20th birthday!

Ryosuke: It's too late to say it! People think I didn't give it to you (laughs).

Shu: I missed the opportunity. So here it is now.

Ryosuke: In a good way, my impression of Shu hasn't changed since I met him. Also, I was really surprised at how well he eats (laughs).

SHI: "Horror story" (Shippaidan)

Shu: I don't mean to offend, but I often end up hurting people with my words…..

Ryosuke: If it were me who had done it, I wouldn't think, "That's terrible"….(laughs).

SU: "My favorite part" (Sukina tokoro)

Shu: There are alot of things, but if I had to pick one, I'd be that he's devoted to me.

Ryosuke: The part where he's always pulling me along, whether it's out of excitement or just to talk.

SE: "World view" (Sekaikan)

Shu: Recently, when we're together, we sometimes spend quiet time together.

Ryosuke: During the stage greeting for the film, "Kamen Rider x Kamen Rider Fourze & OOO: Movie War Mega Max," when I saw Shu sitting at the very back of the location bus, silently admiring the scenery outside the window, I thought to myself, "He's become more sexy since turning 20" (laughs).

Shu: I was probably just trying to appear cool (laughs).

SO: "When you need me by your side" (Soba ni ite hoshii toki)

Ryosuke: Now that Kamen Rider OOO is over, I hate that I'm not next to you.

Shu: I currently feel the same way. I've never been loved so much on a set, so I want to meet up with him once in awhile and spoil him, and I want to confirm that, "Ah, I have friends, and I can do my best going towards tomorrow."

TO: "Times where I make him feel special" (Tokubetsuda to omou toki)

Ryosuke: Always. In front of the other OOO members, I've always shown that, "Shu is the best."

Shu: I rarely send emails outside of business, but I only send emails with hearts attached to Ryon-kun.

TE: "The appropriate part" (Tekitona tokoro)

Shu: When I'm messing around. Sometimes I respond with, "I'm too busy to bother you" (laughs).

Ryosuke: Shu basically relaxes when he doesn't have to do something for himself or others (laughs).

TSU: "The cold (hearted) part" (Tsumetai tokoro)

Ryosuke: It wasn't towards me, but Shu's face was cold during a pre event meeting with the MC. I immediately asked, "What's this all about?," as it was a face you don't want to show to the visitors.

Shu: When I talked to Ryon-kun after the "Cola Incident", usually he'd laugh and say, "I see~," but he instead responded with, "No, I don't understand" in a cold way……It was scary.

CHI: "The part that's different" (Chigau tokoro)

Shu: Our personalities are the exact opposite. We're like the S and N on a magnet, so we fit together perfectly and can't be separated.

Ryosuke: Yeah, I'm interested because we're different, and I like seeing how things play out.

Shu: We look completely different too! A Japanese face and a Western face!

TA: "Fun memories" (Tanoshi katta omoide)

Ryosuke: During filming for OOO, we had our first date in Ueno! (May 22, 2011)

Shu: After filming, we went to Fuji Q Highland (interview done by Tokyo News Mook: Good Come, November 16 issue). But, you know, I always enjoyed those moments when we had off time, whether it was having a meal during a break or just sitting on the location bus. _

In the Corridor (page 68-69)

NA: "What would you name it?" (Namae wo tsukerunara?)

Shu: E&A, since it's Eiji & Ankh….."EA!" (pronounced ia = ear)

Ryosuke: Hey, are you sure that's okay? (giving a dirty look).

Shu: Eh~? (unhappy). Then, what about Miura-san?

Ryosuke: I want to be on "Team (blank)"

Shu: Since it's the year of the Dragon, how about "Ryuseikai?"

Ryosuke: Sounds good! Our goal is also to get more male fans, so it doesn't matter how grand it is!

NU: "The part I want to leave out" (Nukitai tokoro)

Shu: Dance! And also, professionalism!

Ryosuke: I have none. In the first place, I can't beat Shu, so I have no desire to lose to Shu, or to destroy Shu.

NI: "Similar parts" (Ni teru tokoro)

Ryosuke: That we value our family. Shu loves his family too, doesn't he?

Shu: Yeah, I love them. The similarity with Ryon-kun is……(thinking hard)……I can't think of any! I always see him as my complete opposite.

NE: "Sleeping face" (Negao)

Shu: Ryon-kun's sleeping face is beautiful.

Ryosuke: Shu's is cute. He's like a baby. He must feel comfortable, because he drools down to his collarbone (laughs).

Shu: That's how "Lake Watanabe" will be created.

Ryosuke: That's so gross! (he bursts out laughing).

NO: "Drinking" (Nomi)

Ryosuke: I want to drink at a kushikatsu (skewer) restaurant or some place with a counter.

Shu: I'd rather go to a dirty restaurant than a fancy one and share my true feelings with him. _

Hakone Glass Forest Art Museum (page 70)

HA: "Embarrassing things" (Hazukashii koto)

Ryosuke: I didn't want anyone to see the moments where I went into water, stood on high places, or anything I don't like, but I showed them all to Shu during the filming of OOO. I have nothing left to hide from Shu.

Shu: I'm lazy at home. I watch TV with just a towel wrapped around me after a bath, and my laundry is sometimes left in the washing machine, where it becomes stiff and crumpled…..

HI: "Secrets" (Himitsu)

Ryosuke: There's none. We're generally talkative, and when Shu acts stranger than usual, I get curious and ask what's up. Shu will often ask me, "Ryon-kun, did anything happen today?," so there are no secrets (laughs).

Shu: I have none either!

FU: "Dissatisfaction" (Fuman)

Ryosuke: When I'm having trouble with something I don't want to talk about, he asks me in front of everyone, "Ryon-kun, did something happen yesterday?" I'd like it to be just between the two of us.

Shu: Sometimes he says things that are impossible. Like, "Come to my concert in Osaka."

Ryosuke: Why's that? I'm requesting for Shu to show off his cute performance.

Shu: But, I also have plans…..

Ryosuke: I'll be in a bad mood if you don't come, okay?

Shu: Yeah, I'm not dissatisfied. This isn't dissatisfaction (laughs).

HE: "Disguise" (Hensou)

Ryosuke: I want to act cool like you always do.

Shu: Me too. I'm going to be cool like you always are.

Ryosuke: Can I pull it off?

Shu: Ryon-kun's coolness might be too difficult for me right now (laughs).

HO: "A serious moment" (Honki no shunkan)

Shu: The look in your eyes the moment you start your performance. It's completely different from usual.

Ryosuke: As expected, it's times during the performance.

(middle right) Fusing Experience "While wearing matching friendship bracelets, Miura-kun gave Watanabe-kun the handmade bracelet as a gift, and the two have a close relationship when it comes to accessories. They both made accessories by melting glass and presented them to each other."

Shu: Since it's the year of the Dragon, I think I'll choose something with a dragon motif for Ryon-kun~.

Ryosuke: Eh~? (unhappy).

Shu: No good? Well then, let's do something cute then.

Ryosuke: Hmmm, as I thought, Shu should get a "mask."

"And with that, they start with a complete showdown!"

(middle left) "They also created a gift for the readers."

Ryosuke: Don't move everything I just put down~ (laughs).

Shu: Ah, sorry.

"Watanabe-kun said, shifting the glass beads while curling, so we couldn't see the finished product."

Shu: The one I placed (a glass bead in the bottom center) doesn't make too much of an impression, huh? (laughs). Ryon-kun, please do something about it~

"In the end, Miura-kun arranged and completed it by hand."

(bottom left) Their collaborative "Heart Spoon" will be given away to 1 person!

(bottom middle) From Ryosuke to Shu: A mask necklace

From Shu to Ryosuke: A sparkling key holder _

Onsen (page 71)

MU: "Defenseless moments" (Mubobi na shunkan)

Ryosuke: The times when Shu is sleeping, right? (laughs). I personally think I'm flawless.

Shu: That's a lie~. He already said he's revealed alot of things to me.

Ryosuke: Hmmm, the truth is, the more I like someone, the more conscious I am about how I'm perceived. I just don't do it well with Shu (laughs).

Shu: Ah, I see!

MA: "Things I'm serious about" (Majimeda to omou tokoro)

Shu & Ryosuke: Things relatings to work.

MI: Miura Ryosuke

Shu: The kanji that make up bewitching, "Mysterious" and "Gorgeous," and even "Beautiful" suits him. His appearance, expressions, and everything about him is erotic and cool. Anyway, he's very sexy.

Ryosuke: Are you serious? That makes me happy! I think the eternal theme for me is to have "Love" in everything.

ME: "Meal" (Meshi)

Ryosuke: I'd like to pound real mochi using a mortar and pestle. I'll do the pounding and Shu will do the kneading. And, I want to try different flavors, like chocolate.

Shu: I want to have dinner at a fancy French restaurant in Ginza that costs 30,000 yen per person. I wonder what'll happen to us there.

Ryosuke: We'd probably panic? (laughs)

MO: "The popular parts" (Moteru tokoro)

Ryosuke: You have vitality, and the confidence to do so for whatever reason (laughs).

Shu: I think it's because I want to lead. I'm recommend by younger people (?). But, I'm not looked up to by people my age or those older than me……Ryon-kun is devoted. I can feel that he thinks of me as the center of his life.

Ryosuke: I still think that's heavy to say.

Shu: That's because there are some people in this world that want to be bound. _

Kiritani Hakoneso (page 72-73)

RU: "The parts of his looks that I like" (Rukkusu de sukina yo koro)

Shu: His small, well defined face and slim legs (he slaps Miura-kun's thighs). And, he has a flexible body.

Ryosuke: Actually I'm pretty stiff (his fingers can't reach the floor when he bends forward). I'm like Shu, I've got a firm face.

Shu: We both want things the other has.

RI: Request (Rikuesuto)

Shu: I want Ryon-kun to hurry up and invite me to his house!

Ryosuke: I don't want to because it's a mess right now. I'm planning to move, so wait until I'm in my new home.

Shu: Of course!

Ryosuke: My request would be to go out to eat a meal casually, not just for birthdays or New Year's parties, but also on days when there's nothing going on.

RA: "The lucky things" (Rakki na koto)

Ryosuke: After I met Shu, we started eating alot more food, and we started talking alot. I'm a much more positive person than before.

Shu: I learned alot about the rules of how things should be in the field and how things should be in this industry.

YO: "Weakness" (Yowami)

Ryosuke: It's no good to ignore Shu.

Shu: Loneliness and indifference are the worst. Ryon-kun is lonely too, isn't he?

Ryosuke: It's because I'm a Rabbit, as I was born in the year of the Rabbit.

Shu: I see, you're a Rabbit-chan~ (Does he even understand?)

YU: "How did you come up with your unit name?" (Yunitto mei o tsukerunara)

Shu: Ryosuke's R and Shu's S are taken to make "R&S." By the way, the "&" is taken away from "Earth." Earth also has it's meaning!

Ryosuke: I think it's nice to be big (laughs).

YA: "Being kind to me" (Yasashiku sa reta koto)

Ryosuke: Shu often asks, "Ryon-kun, are you eating your food properly? Are you hungry?" and "Ryon-kun, if there's any leftover, please give it to me."

Shu: In the end, it's my desires (laughs). When I call someone and they don't notice, Ryon-kun joins me and we call together.

Ryosuke: That?! (laughs)

Shu: It's too much that no one moves!

RE: "Means of contact" (Renraku shudan)

Shu: It's mainly emails. We send each other about the same amount. Ryon-kun often sends me messages when he's drunk, saying, "Shu-chan" or "To my beloved Shu."

Ryosuke: When I'm drunk and lonely, I want to meet Shu. It varies whether we respond to each other or not (laughs).

RO: "Lost (what they don't want to lose)" (Rosuto)

Shu: Our friendly relationship. The rest is my personality. As people often say, "I hope you don't change," and if there is a part of me that can support Ryon-kun now, I want to continue to do so.

Ryosuke: My job. I met Shu through work, and if it wasn't for this job, we might have never met.

WA: Watanabe Shu

Ryosuke: He's free…..the way I see it, he's not pretending about it.

Shu: I'm bright and positive. But, I may not be able to show my true self easily.

(bottom right) Since the Hero Vision release date was close to Miura-kun's 25th birthday (February 16th), Watanabe-kun gave him a surprise after dinner. Watanabe-kun was enthusiastically singing "Happy Birthday dear Ryon-kun~" (with a hint of euphoria), and Miura-kun was surprised and said, "Eh? Eh? You're kidding, right?" Miura-kun, with some tears in his eyes, said "Thank you," and Watanabe-kun gave him the biggest smile in return. _

Return to Tokyo (page 74)

(W)O: "The end" (Owari)

Shu: I heard that Hakone got the most snow this winter today. The snow must've been waiting for us to come. Maybe the snow said, "Ryon-kun, Shu-kun, why don't you come quickly? The scenery will be beautiful when it's all piled up."

Ryosuke: What's wrong with you? Saying such cute things (laughs).

Shu: It was alot of fun. The hot springs and the food were great, but I really enjoyed being with Ryon-kun! What about you Ryon-kun?

Ryosuke: It was fun. Since I was with Shu, I ate alot more food than usual (laughs). _

See You! (page 75)

N: "From now on" (Kore kara)

Shu: Next time, we'll climb Mt. Fuji, and at the top we'll shout, "Waaah~!"

Ryosuke: I want to climb it. But, it's said that you're risking your life.

Shu: Is that so? Well then, let's go fishing instead.

Ryosuke: Let's go to a river. I want to eat river fish.

Shu: Then let's go camping! Decide on sweets up to 300 yen.

Ryosuke: Then it's a field trip (laughs). I don't mind if we go to Korea and enjoy fancy gourmet food, or if I pick up some bamboo and go to Shu's house to have Nagashi Somen.

Shu: That's a wide range. Also, are you planning on leaving my house drenched? (laughs)

Ryosuke: Anywhere is fine if I'm with Shu.

Shu: Eh? (is happy)

Ryosuke: It'd be interesting to have an interview where we're just eating (laughs).

Shu: Then you can visit anytime! (laughs)

(*no Japanese word starts with the singular "N" character)

[qiu-yan]

2 and 21 for mdzs please?

sorry for the wait!

choose violence ask game

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

in terms of "compelling" arguments, i've got nothing. in terms of bullshit arguments i pulled out of my ass, though....

of course, the easy way out is to argue that jiang cheng is asexual and therefore would never come into sexual contact with anyone. an equally easy way out is to argue that jiang cheng is so rizzless that, even if he wanted to top or bottom, no one would do it with him....that's the easy way out of this question, though.

my own opinion is that, if jiang cheng were attracted to men and/or had a partner who was into pegging, he would have way too much internalized homophobia to give bottoming a try. even if he somehow got over himself enough to admit that he was into men (already impossible), he would still buy into the ancient-greek school of thought on homosexuality, wherein "ackshually it's only gay if you're on the bottom." he would be fully convinced that, if he were to bottom - and worse, if he were to enjoy it - he would become Less Man on an existential level. this would absolutely kill him inside, would make him actively more homophobic than if he were just straight or asexual, and would make him a nightmare for any other man to hook up with.

but of course, the more you adamantly refuse to even consider something - the more you fear something, in other words - the more you end up obsessing over it. if jiang cheng were actually hooking up with men in this scenario (entirely possible because he's like 6ft tall and probably can host because he's rich, which makes him a prime catch in the eyes of like 90% of grindr), he would adamantly refuse to bottom. he'd declare himself a hard top. but would he actually enjoy himself? or would he, as he topped in a lackluster manner whichever men were unfortunate enough to give him a chance, imagine himself in their position - first with disgust, as he told himself he was different than them; then with terror, as he feared that he might one day end up in their position; and then with something else?

because jiang cheng's fear - that he might one day bottom and enjoy it - would quickly mutate into a full-on psychosexual obsession with the concept of bottoming itself. because it's repression king jiang cheng we're talking about, said obsession would eventually become one of those things you're so afraid of that your fear ends up wrapping back around and turning into a fetish. because it's jiang cheng we're talking about, this would then lead to him actually bottoming one day. and then, because it's jiang cheng we're talking about and the universe hates him, he would actually end up enjoying it.

does his mindset change? maybe. or maybe he just becomes Worse.

i feel like i've ended up doing the opposite of answer the question.....sorry.....these are my honest thoughts, though.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

i'm going to get killed for this, but that's the purpose of this ask game, so i'll be honest....."lan wangji as Love Interest." of course, by this i do not mean to say "lan wangji himself." rather, what i mean is the way in which lan wangji is a "love interest" first and a "character" second. in my view, the story is only really interested in lan wangji as "the guy who loves wei wuxian and is unquestioningly devoted to him," rather than interested in lan wangji as a character in his own right.

of course, the story spills a lot of ink on how much lan wangji loves wei wuxian, how much lan wangji has sacrificed for wei wuxian, how unquestioningly devoted lan wangji is to wei wuxian, and so on. and while this is all true and good, in my view, there are also several other interesting angles in lan wangji's story worth exploring. however, these angles instead seem rather neglected by the story, which appears to only want to discuss "lan wangji's devotion to his One True Love."

some angles i consider to be interesting, and which i felt like went underexplored in canon:

how much of lan wangji's support of wei wuxian is because he believed wei wuxian was right, and how much of it is because he loves wei wuxian and does not want to lose wei wuxian again? where does lan wangji's personal romantic love end and his moral compass begin? the novel equates [standing with wei wuxian] with [being righteous], but it is exceedingly easy to design a situation where the morally righteous path entails sacrificing wei wuxian in some way - how would lan wangji behave in such a situation? if wei wuxian himself had not protected the wen remnants (due to canon divergence or whatever), would lan wangji have spoken up for the wen remnants?

to what degree does lan wangji agree with wei wuxian's actions and consider said actions to be morally justified? comparatively, to what degree does lan wangji consider wei wuxian's actions to be morally questionable, and simply wants to shoulder wei wuxian's sins with him out of love? does lan wangji know and/or believe that wei wuxian killing jin zixuan was a genuine accident? if he does not know, does he care?

what does lan wangji's relationship with his family look like? on one hand, in his failed bid to save wei wuxian, he injured 33 of his own sect's elders, which under confucian principles is a massive wrongdoing. have the injuries of these elders healed? does lan wangji feel guilty? on the other hand, lan wangji's family betrayed both him and the moral principles they espoused, by first nearly whipping lan wangji to death and then joining the first siege of the burial mounds. does lan wangji resent his family for this? does he resent lan xichen and lan qiren, or does he understand that they had argued the punishment down from execution? is that why, after lan xichen's world shattered at the guanyin temple in yunping, lan wangji was able to immediately leave the premises with wei wuxian in tow, without once checking in on his brother?

what does lan wangji think of his late parents? does he want to know why his mother killed his father's teacher, or would he rather not know? does his family keep the knowledge from him, or does he avoid the knowledge himself? what does he think of his father's actions - to him, is his father someone who fell from the path of duty and righteousness for the sake of love, someone who selfishly abandoned his duties and forced his responsibilities onto his younger brother, and/or someone who imprisoned lan wangji's mother against her will and perhaps even forced himself onto her? does lan wangji know whether or not he was conceived consensually? does this bother him?

given the whole history of lan wangji's parents, how does lan wangji view his own, how should i say, sexual interests? lan wangji did once pin down a struggling wei wuxian and forcibly kiss him; would lan wangji make a connection between the nonconsensual nature of this deed and the imprisonment of his mother? furthermore, wang and xian's relationship postcanon seems to have an element of d/s and noncon roleplay to it (which i'm not judging them for, good for them); would that also remind lan wangji of how his father and his father's sect brought about the imprisonment of his mother? or are these two separate things entirely?

in my view, these are all highly interesting aspects of lan wangji's story - and all of these are implied by details given in canon. however, canon shirks discussing these aspects of lan wangji's character in favor of focusing on him as the Male Lead: rather than explore any of these angles, which would further define lan wangji as a person, canon seems far more interested in single-mindedly focusing on how sad lan wangji was that wei wuxian died, how tragic the loss of his One True Love was, and how wholeheartedly happy lan wangji is now that wei wuxian has come back and returns his feelings.

to me, it feels like this guy got sanded down from a "full individual" to a "love interest." it feels to me like the story gives us some details about lan wangji's own life, but then nonetheless insists on reducing him from a person in his own right to a satellite that revolves around wei wuxian (the story's real favorite). because of this, MDZS the novel read as less the wei wuxian and lan wangji story, and more the Wei Wuxian story starring Wei Wuxian, in which lan wangji is a love interest first and a person second.

i forget if i said this before or if i read it from someone else's blog, but it does feel like, if you want to love lan wangji on his own, you have to do a lot of the heavy lifting yourself. or at the very least scrub all the male lead energy off of him first, so that the individual underneath can be revealed.

[juvive-1234]

The Stewards and what they represent

A few weeks ago I made a post where I expressed my opinion about the Stewards being a representation of religious trauma. In this post I will be going into a more further and in depth explanation on why I think this.

! Spoilers for dark rise and dark heir !

1 - The stewards being a cult:

The definition of a cult is "a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object." You could apply this term to the Stewards who devoted their lives to serving the light and more so the Lady. Everything they do, all the rules they've enforced its all for the Lady. They start their morning off with a chant dedicated to the Lady, they end their day with a chant dedicated to the lady.

It goes beyond just chants, cult leaders typically set rules for their followers. The reason is obviously to assert leadership and keep the control. The main rules the Stewards have are;

You must participate in the morning chants

You must take a vow of celibacy

You must sacrifice yourself when the time is right

Now, lets breakdown how these can control the Stewards and links them to a cult;

Morning chants - In cults, chanting is a mind-altering practice that can be used to break down a person's defences and make them more susceptible to cult ideology. Cult leaders use chanting to direct their followers' emotional and psychological attention to a specific ideology or person - In this case the light side and the lady. This can be dangerous because it can re-wire how the brain works.

Celibacy - Celibacy is the act of one restricting themself from entering a relationship that could be romantic or sexual - in a way, it's abstaining from sex. Cults typically promote the idea of a romantic/sexual relationship being taboo as a way to keep its members from devoting themself to anyone but their cause.

Self sacrifice - Yes, I know. The reasons the Stewards do this is because of the shadow living within them, but dark rise is one big metaphor for all sorts of things (Homophobia, racism, etc...) and so, I believe this act of self sacrifice is more then something for the fantasy plot. It represents how self sacrifice in cults work. Self sacrifice in cults is usually associated with identity fusion - a psychological concept that describes a deep sense of belonging and oneness with a group. This can be the result of intense collective experiences, such as drinking from the steward's cup which of course ruins the drinker's life.

Additional points:

Cults typically wear uniforms - Stewards wear their white/grey/blue uniforms

Cults isolate their members from the outside world - The Stewards are quite isolated from society and only go out when necessary. Their first reaction to Will is enough.

Abuse - Cults typically abuse their members - James. Enough said.

2 - Attempting to destroy anything different then their morals/Brainwashing

Would this really be a Juvive post without the Novitiate trio? This time, I'm going to use them to explain how fast a cult's opinion can change.

When Will and Violet are spending their first day at the hall, Emery and his friends are the only three people - Novitiates more specifically - who willingly talked to Will and Violet. The duo is usually seen with them and the three explain their traditions to the two. The time skip from chapter 14 to 15 is two (?) months, and during that time I want to bet money Will and Violet continued being Emery, Carver and Beatrix's friend.

Of course, it all goes to hell when Violet is outed to be a lion. When the army of Stewards corner Will and Violet, Carver is in that crowd. Yes, he's a Steward. Yes, he's following duties. Sure, but he didn't even try to rebuttal the higher powers? Didn't try to stand up for Violet? Carver knows Violet and Will are good people, his friends are friends with them- HE'S friends with them. All this is to say that Carver changed his opinions faster than the speed of light.

Why though? How though?

Simple, brainwashing.

The ideas of the Stewards were being jammed into his head since he was young. He's been training to be a Steward for years. He was taught lions were terrible beings. His opinion was not even his own, it was the Stewards. It was forced into his mind. If you don't believe me, brainwashing is defined as the process of compromising someone's freedom of choice and action by altering their perception, motivation, or behavioural outcomes. 

Makes sense now, right?

3 - Leadership

Jannick.

Actually, that's not enough. He deserve more.

3.5 - Jannick.

I hate this fucker.

You can associate this guy with being leaders of the cult. A cult leader is the leader of a group that requires unwavering devotion to a set of beliefs and practices - The lady and the light side in this case. Cult leaders are often described as pathologically narcissistic, and may be narcissists.

Let's break him down:

Jannick:

Called his son a "catamite" in front of hundreds of people - Shows lack of empathy which is a trait narcissists have

Implied that he pushes/pushed all three of his sons to the absolute limit and pushed them to be perfect. In the book he does show that he had a desire to be a Steward - Shows both need for admiration and envy, two traits shared with narcissists

"That thing is not my son." - Shows arrogance and just being a dick, arrogance is a trait narcissists have

While the Elder Steward is technically the leader of the Stewards, Jannick seems to have more power and influence over certain things.

Wrap up

In summary, I do believe the Stewards represent a more deeper meaning then what has been shown to us. They're a metaphor. A metaphor for a cult and religious trauma.

Thank you so much for reading. Take care you yourself, ok?

[c-t-r-l14]

Tennesee Waltz

“I remember the night, and the Tennesee Waltz

Now I know just how much I have lost.”

———————-💔————————————

Synopsis: You introduce an old friend to Xanthus.

Based off of this post.

———————-💔———————————-

You were never one to believe in soulmates. That concept simply never made sense to you. The notion that some “universal force of nature” chooses the person that is “perfect” for you, how it ties an invisible red string of fate to you and your lover's pinky finger—forever making you two bound to each other for all eternity—was simply ludacris.

Sometimes, when you were out with your friends, they’d talk about how they met their lovers, and how they just instantly knew that they were the ones. And they’d say it with the tenderness, warmth, and certain fondness of love swimming in their bright eyes. You’d watch how their bodies swooned with adoration, how the corners of their lips were lifted up into a smile of utter enchantment. As you sat there, watching them whisper and swoon about how the “stars aligned for them to be together,” with their hands on their hearts—their bright, love struck eyes gazing longingly at the sky—you couldn’t help but think that for a moment, for just a moment—how nice it would be if the theories of “soul-ties” and “soulmates” were real. But, as soon as those thoughts came, they vanished just as instantly—fading away from existence like the steam that permeated from your hot cup of tea. Although it was a nice thought in theory, it was absolutely ridiculous in practice. There is no destiny, or “path of fate”, when it comes to falling in love. There are no “outside forces” pulling the strings behind the scenes—no cupid or Eros to shoot an arrow of love in your back. You simply meet someone, get to know who they are, fall in love, and eventually settle down with them. A completely natural process—one with no red strings attached. And for a little a while, that’s what you truly believed.

That is, until you met Xanthus.

You were drawn to everything about him—his air of mystique, and his beautiful golden hair, how his bangs fell over his forehead and framed his pale face, how his eyes of red seemed to sparkle brightly with the radiance of rubies—and how his thin lips seemed to form the most gorgeous smile you’ve ever seen. You loved the way he held you in his strong arms; the way you melted in the cocoon of his warm embrace. When the evening made way for the night—when the red, orange, and yellow hues morphed into a midnight blue, you’d be comforted by the faint sound of his breathing and the smell of cologne lingering in the air; and as the night made way for the dawn, your heart was filled with so much bliss—so much happiness—simply because you were lucky enough to wake up to him sleeping beside you. You thanked your lucky stars every time he used you as his muse for any new book he composed. Your body felt lighter than air when he recited the sonnets he wrote for you. You beamed brightly every single time you posed for any painting he’d create in your honor. With him, the world was bathed in pink hues—bursting with absolute beauty.

And, on one clear night—without a single twinkling star in the sky—when there was nothing but the luminescence of the full moon hanging over the city, he held your hand tightly as he stared into your eyes, and said to you:

“Dearest, my love for you is deeper than the deepest depths of the vastest oceans, and is as plentiful as the stars in the sky. It extends to even the most remote regions of the universe—reaching a distance above the very heavens itself; a devotion so strong that it breaks the concept of time. Whenever you’re around me, my heart sings—a simple song morphs into a symphony whenever I look at you. You bring me comfort on my darkest nights, and laughter in my lowest moments. You’re a beacon that melted the ice of my once frozen heart. And that is why, I want to be there for you—for as long as you allow me to be.”

You can practically hear the fast paced thumping of your heart beating loudly in your chest. And your vision blurred with tears as he reached into his pocket.

“I promise.”

In his hand sat the most beautiful ring you’ve ever laid your eyes on—complete with brilliant red rubies encrusted in the golden band. Ruby red—the color of his eyes. Your mouth, although quivering—quirked up into a smile as he slid the ring onto your finger. And he smiled back as he took out another ring, with diamonds that shone with the luminance, beauty, and color of your own eyes—sliding it on to his own finger.

You let the tears flow. And, on that clear night—without a single twinkling star in the sky—you two shared a tender kiss under the ethereal glow of the full moon hanging over the city.

It was a moment that you cherished for a long time. But even as you stood there, staring lovingly in his ruby red eyes, his face and blond tresses bathed in the pale white glow of the moonlight—you still didn’t understand what your friends swooned and sighed about.

Because despite the immense love you felt, and the sweet aroma of romance wafting through the air, you still didn’t believe in soulmates.

…..

As you ascended the long staircase, you nervously fiddled with your hair, trying your best to give your whole ensemble a finishing touch. Your stomach was swimming with apprehensiveness, and a bit of anxiety as you got to the top—your heart thumping wildly in your chest as you came face to face with the large ballroom. You huffed as Xanthus chuckled with pure amusement.

“Dearest,” he laughed, “there is nothing to worry about. The way you look tonight will take everyone’s breath away.”

“Thanks, Xanthus, but this is the first time I’ve ever been to a ball! We’ll be dancing in front of people, too. I have to make sure I don’t mess up.”

He chuckled once more. “We’ve danced with each other many times before; it’s not really anything to fret over.”

“Okay, but the difference is that people will be watching.”

“You worry too much, my dear. You’ll do wonderful.”

He gave you a reassuring smile as he offered his arm to you, and you took it—smiling back as you both sauntered into the ballroom.

You were taken aback from the level of absolute grandeur that encompassed every single inch of the ballroom. The silk velvet drapes, which were the color of old red wine, cascaded from the ceiling to the ground—their gold trimmings almost sweeping against the marble floor—its own tiles embellished with swirling patterns and geometric shapes. Frescoes—paintings that were vibrant in colors and rich with lore—adorned the high ceilings as it stretched far across the room. And, in the center of it all, was a crystal chandelier looming overhead—casting a beautiful, soft glow—almost as astonishing as the moonlight that engulfed you and Xanthus just a few days prior.

The room was filled with people who were dressed to the nines—opulent gowns and dresses that cascaded all the way down to the floor, grazing it as the women walked. Men dressed in their best suits and tailcoats, standing with nonchalance as they carry on a conversation with the person talking to them. And, besides from the magnificent harmonies melted together by the woodwinds, percussions, and strings played by the live grand orchestra—the quiet sounds of excited chatter, laughter and clinking wine glasses filled the air. However, within the sea of fancy dresses and tailcoats, you spotted a familiar face—one you hadn’t seen in what felt like a million years. Still as beautiful as they were on the last day you saw them, their smile as radiant as ever—their laughter loud and full of life. And while they did go many names, you chose to call out the one that was most familiar to you.

“Love!”

In an instant they caught your gaze, and their own eyes lit up as you two made your way over.

“Well, I’ll be! It’s been so long!” They exclaimed, grabbing your hands and squeezing it.

“Too long!” You laughed, “Oh, and before I forget—Love, this is Xanthus.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Love,” Xanthus said—with a certain softness in his tone as he extended his hand.

“Pleasure’s all mine,” they responded shyly, shaking it.

And for a moment, they both stood there, staring into each other’s eyes—almost as if they were in a trance, or under some sort of spell. But, there was something different in Xanthus’ gaze; while it was true that he had looked at you with adoration and astonishment swimming in his eyes, there was something very unfamiliar about the way he looked at Love. There was a certain something in his stare—something that never appeared when he looked at you. And, that very same something gleamed in Love’s eyes.

Enamour.

Suddenly, the excitement that swam in your stomach—and the warmness that filled your heart froze over. You opened your mouth to say something, but then the live orchestra started playing a song that made all the women squeal and drag their dates to the dance floor.

The Tennessee Waltz.

Xanthus pulled away from you, and took their hand.

“May I have this dance, Love?”

“Yes you may,” they giggled.

You watched as they sauntered to the dancefloor, hand in hand, never once letting the fire of captivation fizzle out of their bright eyes. You couldn’t bring yourself to call after them, because even if you tried, the words would get stuck in your throat. So, you stood there, and watched from afar as they waltzed.

You watched as the melody consumed them—never taking a step out of turn—always on beat.

You watched as they laughed when Xanthus gave Love a twirl—his smile so wide that his teeth were showing. He never smiled at you like that.

You watched as they still held each other close, even when it was time to switch partners. They danced as if they were in their own little universe.

And, while the orchestra played the finishing note, you watched as they both shared a tender kiss, bathed in the soft glow that was casted by the chandelier looming overhead.

Your heart clenched, and a pain that burned like a wildfire consumed your chest. With great haste, and blurry vision, you ran out of there. The ballroom air was suffocating; it was filled with their new found love, and the scent was so thick and strong that it was getting harder to breathe.

You stumbled into the ballroom garden, and let the tears flow—heaving sobs and broken cries filling the atmosphere. It was a clear night, without a twinkling star in the sky—with nothing but the luminescence of the full moon hanging over the city. You cried under the very same sky your darling Xanthus declared his love for you.

The night you believed in soulmates wasn’t the night he recited his first sonnet to you. It wasn’t the night he used you as his muse for his first book, or when he made his first painting. It wasn’t even the night he gave you a promise ring, vowing to stay by your side for as long as you’d let him.

No, the night you believed in soulmates was the night Xanthus found his.

The night your friend stole your sweetheart from you.

The night they were playing the beautiful Tennessee Waltz.

———————————💔———————————

A/N: Sorry this took so long, I had so much things to do. I’m glad to be back! Have some angst!

Masterlist

[herbgerblin]

ipre theater thots

loosely based off of this poll. sorry, this got away from me. i was a theater kid for years (i still am, i literally made a bunch of friends larp as wizards two weeks ago)

Davenport: Producer and Stage Manager. Personally more experienced in opera than musicals, but answers the call when the need for a manager arises. Keeps everyone focused and on schedule. Has final word on what choices the art department gets to make. Sometimes does solo performances on his own time.

Merle: Choreographer and Director. Leads the ensemble into meditation every rehearsal before warming up. Talks with each member of the cast one-on-one. Sometimes leaves the script open to interpretation. His artistic vision sounds bonkers in concept, but illuminating in execution. Why are there so many plants? Don't worry about it.

Magnus: Lead Actor and Set Builder. He brings the energy every single night. He doesn't need to be micc'ed up because his natural voice projects well enough. It takes a bit of time for him to memorize the script, but he devotes his heart and soul to it. He claps loudly for the ensemble when he's in the wings. He cries at the emotional numbers. Built all the sets by hand.

Lucretia: Co-stage Manager and Supporting Actor (not for lack of chops, only because she spreads herself very thin.) Knows the script like a second language. Mainly reserves her Director Voice for backstage when things get chaotic. Enjoys performing the musical numbers because no one knows she can belt, until she does. Standing ovation girlie, but bashful about it.

Lup: Co-lead Lead Actor and Costumer. Only willing to do the role if Davenport lets her include cold sparks and fog machines in the set budget (he finds a way.) No one knows when she took measurements for the costumes, but they're ready by dress rehearsal and they fit perfectly. Helps the other actors figure out their groove. Great at engaging the audience.

Angus (special edition): Child lead and stagehand. The sweetest little singing voice you ever did hear. Everyone is going to rue the day his voice starts cracking. A heartbreaker of a performer and a speedy backstage assistant.

Taako: A MYSTERY. He's wearing a fancy scarf and roaming all over the place. He's talking about the Art of the Theatre. He's listed on the billing of lead actors and NO ONE knows what his role is. He remembers all the little things that everyone forgets: clothes pins, a hot glue gun, and electrolytes. He's got a walkie-talkie. Only the managers and tech are supposed to have walkie-talkies. Hello, this is Taako speaking, over.

Barry: Usually Tech. He's got a beautifully choreographed queue of lighting designs and stage effects. He's got an immaculately labeled pad controller and a ready-to-go Excel spreadsheet. But on opening night, Lucretia informs him he's in the orchestra pit.

Barry: ...But I'm lighting tonight.

Lucretia (via walkie-talkie): And our percussionist twisted his ankle tripping over a stage light. You're in the orchestra now, compadre.

Barry: (with increasing emphasis, decreasing conviction) But. I'm. Light. Tech.

Taako: E N T E R T H E P I T B A R O L D

Davenport: Taako, get off this line.

During intermission, Magnus asks him to help lift the ensemble dancers onto the set scaffolding, and hold it steady. Barry agrees, thinking he's in the clear after that. But the second the music number ends, Merle tells him that one of the support roles had to leave, so now he's the understudy.

Barry (longsuffering): I am just. the light guy.

Merle (gesturing to Taako in the balcony, having a ballgame playing with the lightboard): well, in two minutes you're the showstopper guy, so you need to go out there and stop the show

Lup (emerging from nowhere, slapping a red, hooded robe on Barold's shoulders): Knock 'em dead!

Barry: D: