#archie.ima

[leggerefiore]

Aquatic hybrids see their S/O expertly carve up a fish for dinner; some are impressed and compare it to an apex predator, and others are terrified that they’re next on the chopping block.

Sharpedo Grimsley nods at your technique... You are quite competent with that knife. He is genuinely impressed by it. Though, when you begin to prepare it to cook, you lose him. He likes raw meat... cooked just is not the same. He still might try some or ask you too feed him some of the raw bits. It does not even occur to him that he could be eaten – That is just something that will not happen.

Milotic Volo watches your movements carefully, observing your knowledge of how to slice and prepare a fish. This is nothing odd – Humans eat various things to survive. Even he ate smaller fish in the sea. But... Seeing your competency with a knife... He notes it. This may be the difference of life and death one day. Though he doubted that you would ever be able to do anything like that to him. He enjoys your cooking at least.

Gyarados Cyrus simply nods at your technique, mildly impressed. He is mostly unbuffered by eating fish or preparing it. He grew up next to the ocean, after all. And, Gyarados almost certainly eat other fish in the sea. This is nothing strange – it is natural. He would only be disturbed if you are eating a Magikarp. So, do not do that. He will be silently hurt and not meet your eyes for days following.

Eelektross Emmet tilts his head. Why are you cutting it up like that? Then heating it up...? He is more confused why you do not use your teeth to apart the meat and eat it raw like he does. Even Ingo does that sometimes. He supposes your teeth must not be sharp enough, though. This must be a necessary thing for humans. Still confused on why you are heating it up. It is weird. You say something about parasites and bacteria... He does not understand what those are nor does he care. Human things. He is apathetic.

Sharpedo Archie is a bit saddened by the eating of fish in general... Especially with the knowledge that humans eat Sharpedo's fins, too. He has to due to his diet, and he loves bringing fish for you to eat. But, something about how you cut it prepare it disturbs him. He cannot say why, but there is some strange terror that consumes him. He has to look away. When it is completely cooked, it bothers him much less.

[leggerefiore]

Cyrus is withering away in this heatwave and rendered, unable to work unless his office is kept at like 22°c exactly. While he may have come from a warm port town, he is not made for this heat. He is a fragile inside boy.

Ingo and Emmet have had to shed away their work jackets and even find themselves having to roll up their sleeves just to make between work and home without overheating. It was so cool in the Gear Station since it is underground, but the heat of the surface is getting to them.

Larry also finds himself peeling away layers of his suit as he goes from place to place, finding the heat to grow simply unbearable as the day becomes hotter. Poor Rika says he needs to invest in a summer collection when he nearly passes out one day.

Nanu bewildering manages the heat well. He seems nearly unaffected. His secret? He will never share. Grimsley wishes to know it as he almost faints by walking outside. His kimono is quite breathable and ventilated, yet he simply is not made for the Alolan sun. Somehow, Nanu wanders around him while he walks under a parasol. Acerola ponders this situation.

Colress is also unaffected. Yet, he absolutely should be in his state of being covered from neck to toe. Though, unlike Nanu, he eagerly shares his secret. Built-in water cooling in his portable console coat. Many will try to take it from him, all will fail.

Kabu considers it heat training and powers through any high temperatures with determination and remaining well-hydrated. This is no worse than his Centiskorch wanting to cuddle. He will survive.

Volo's rage about his curse of immortality is only beaten by his annoyance towards the sun. He has to shed away his careful layers to help disguise him as his beloved Hisui, now Sinnoh, is being baked alive. Part of him wants to wander further north, but he cannot simply could not bear to leave the old, abandoned mansion he opted to stay in.

Maxie is having a good time. This is exactly what he wanted. He stands in the direct line of the sun in his complete uniform. Archie tackles him in to the sea nearby. Local pirate saves his needs friend from heatstroke.

[leggerefiore]

is giving your partner a mega stone in the pokéhybrid AU like giving them a promise ring? or would it just be a very romantic/intimate gesture? :0c

Mmm, for those that can mega evolve, I imagine it's very much an intimate and romantic gesture. A sign that you feel the bond you have with them is manifest between the mega stone and your keystone. Now whether they will actually be interested in mega evolving may very per person. For those who can't... I'm not sure lol? Maybe there's the idea there, I suppose.

Camerupt Maxie would be one completely overtaken with emotion if you offered him the Cameruptite. His hands actually came to cover his mouth as he gasped, and his face turned the colour of his hair. The gesture of such a deep bond between you both. (And the fact he does enjoy rocks.) It gets to sit in his glasses (like his keystone does in the normal universe). He's ecstatic to show it off and smug about how plainly clear your feelings are for him. Disregard the fact that he was overcome when you first handed him the stone that he could not speak properly, though. He might want to try mega evolving, but he does worry about the risks it might have on his body.

Sharpedo Archie would nearly be in tears at the offer of a Sharpedonite. Does he want to mega evolve? Not necessarily. But the romantic gesture makes his heart race. Your love for him in his hand. The stone makes him nearly hop out of the water to crush you with a hug. Oh, he loves you, alright. The stone fits snuggly in his anchor necklace. He's showing it off to everyone. People will be sick of him talking about you, but he refuses to stop.

Gyarados Cyrus is taken aback by the offering of a Gyaradosite. Does he want to mega evolve? Absolutely not. But, he does understand the intimacy of the gesture. He is not unaware of the strength of the bond required to safely mega evolve. Did you believe that the two of you had such a bond? He did not dare deny it. The stone is carefully tucked into a pocket as he nods at you. Giving him such a thing... Yet, he was not so cruel as to deny it. He carries it on his person but never visible to anyone else. It is a silent reminder to him of your shared bond. (Same applies to Houndoom Cyrus.)

Sharpedo Grimsley is estatic at the offering and wants to mega evolve then and there. Has he heard about how painful it is? Oh, absolutely. Old scars will emerge and pulse with the pain like they had just been carved into him. He does not care. The thrill of doing such a thing with you – proving your bond with him in such a manifest way. He can barely contain himself. You must mega evolve him. (And deal with a feral Sharledo hybrid afterwards.) He wears the mega stone proudly as a ring. He makes sure everyone sees it but never directly mentions it. Apparently, other hybrids grasp that he's taken while humans are confused. Fun.

(I can't think of what other hybrids I've written for that can mega evolve.)

[leggerefiore]

Cyrus tries to take care of you while you are sick since he is simply so worried for your health, but he also is so paranoid over germs and getting ill himself that he acts cold and avoidant. But, if you off-handedly mention wanting anything at all, he rushes at the chance to get it for you. He genuinely is terrified for you, even for something as small as a cold. He does catch what you have in the end and is inconsolable.

Colress is like a doctor monitoring your health when you get sick. He keeps track of all the symptoms that you express and the signs he sees. If it escalates, whatever doctor sees you gets a detailed list from him. He doesn't care that they scoff at it and seem haughty. He also helps you take the best care of yourself and makes weird yet healthy dishes for you. He simply wants to help you get better as soon as you can. (If he also gets sick, he just takes it and makes his own notes.)

N struggles to understand what to do. He has never gotten sick a lot, but he is so concerned when he sees you clearly unwell. He tries his best to learn quickly, asking for advice from his new friends and even a few pokemon. You get visited by a Chansey thanks to him. He encourages you to eat the egg you get given by the normal-type. Otherwise, he gets you whatever you need with some errors made. He is so desperate to help you feel better than he is 100% catching whatever you have and going down with you.

Archie cries like you are dying while dumping medicine after medicine on you. Shelly has to drag him away while you rest. He is so worried... Sure, bouts of small sickness are natural, but he does not enjoy seeing you under the weather. He is a horrible nurse, but he tries so hard to do everything. At least, he makes nice food for you to eat, and that improvement to your mood a lot alongside his genuine worry and affection. He somehow manages not to get sick due to his immune system being scary.

Maxie frets but keeps his distance. The analytical side of his mind knows to keep his distance, but he does hate seeing you so ill. He carefully makes healthy dishes for you to eat in the hopes of helping your condition. If you ask for anything, he does wander off to get it. He wants to help cheer you up so desperately. Even if he is trying to hand it to you on a stick so he does not come in range of you. His steadfast actions will break if you seem lonely, though. Then you have the Magma Leader at your side, letting you cling to him like a stuffed animal. He gets sick, naturally, but he gets over it.

[leggerefiore]

The thought of the villainous leader's s/o just walking through their hideouts remains such a funny concept, especially when they're completely uninvolved in their plots.

Giovanni's s/o just walking through a yakuza den like it's nothing to see him. Everyone knows who they are and doesn't even make a move to stop them. Unless they are like a super rookie, which might lead to a lot of scolding for troubling the boss's lover (even if they are unbothered.)

Archie's s/o probably just lives there and is a weird unofficial member who everyone greets pretty happily. There's no animosity and barely any questions, mostly due to how openly affectionate Archie is with them. Guy probably can't be threatened to stop talking about his Luvdisc – he must express himself. It's a funny sight to be the only normally dressed person among a bunch of pirate larpers, though.

Maxie's s/o might get some looks, but since the Magma Leader allows it, they are left to do whatever as long as it doesn't get in the way of required tasks. Courtney may want to throw them out, but she also doesn't want to upset Maxie. Being the only normally dressed person around a bunch of people in sweaters in a tropical region is funny again.

Cyrus allows it because he knows better than to prevent it. His grunts and commanders already almost function like a normal company, so it barely causes any issues. There just might be some questions about why everyone is dressed up like a 50s sci-fi cast, but otherwise, there is little reason to bar them from entering. Just hanging out in your assumed company president boyfriend's office while he debates how to get rid of feelings quietly.

Lysandre mostly would try to prevent such a thing, but it would inevitably happen. He then tries to minimise information leaking to his partner. Why is everyone dressed like that? Well, he was eccentric. Everyone acts their best around the boss's wife, and no one dares breathe a word about his plans. For all they know, this is actually just a secret lab for his company and not some doomsday hideout essentially to bring about a "perfect" world. Being the only one wearing... Well, no. Lysandre's partner is probably wearing some shade of red, too.

Either way, just a bunch of grunts nervously trying not to upset their boss's s/o while they just walk around the place like they own it.

(Granted, like everyone here, but Cyrus probably tells their partner what their plans are since none of them are particularly subtle. Even Cyrus probably talks about his plans to better the world, just not how he's going to do it, though.)

[leggerefiore]

Can I request the villains' sizes? Maxie, Colress, Archie and whoever else you want to include

Presuming you mean height and not like. Something Else. If you did mean that, though, just send your ask in again lol

Character Heights and Body Type HCs

characters: Volo, Maxie, Archie, Colress, Lysandre, Guzma, Giovanni, Cyrus

⭐️ First of all, Volo has a canon height. The blond stands at a staggering 6'3" (190cm). It is clear he towers over most in Hisui, so perhaps the Arceus clan from which he descended is just full of tall people. (Seeing as Cynthia herself seems pretty tall as his descendant.) He likely enjoys the height for intimidation and whatever else it might bring. Though, interestingly, it puts him at the exact height of an average Garchomp. He seems like the type to enjoy a shorter partner, honestly, but it wouldn't be hard for him to find one. Body type wise… He's likely got some muscle on him. It is just something that happens to you by living in Hisui, alas. (And by hauling around that giant backpack of his.)

🌋 Maxie is… a bit on the slightly shorter side. It irritates him. He's likely around 5'7" (170cm) or 5'8" (173cm), and he hates it. His Crobat is taller than him. The only respite is that he is closer to the earth… He can actually usually forget his height. Tabitha is unusually tall, and Courtney is shorter than him. It's Archie that reminds him he's short. Not even by that much, but just enough to annoy him. Partner wise, he would prefer someone around his height, but he isn't too inclined one way or the other. He might just get a little more flustered if they are taller than him. As for his body type, he's a bit too thin at times, but typically finds himself back to normal after being forced to take a break from whatever his work is.

💧 Archie stands at 5'9" (175cm) or 5'10" (178cm). He doesn't think much about what height entails, though. Sure, he likes teasing Maxie about his height occasionally, but that's all in good fun. Their height difference isn't that extreme, after all. He definitely likes a partner that's a bit shorter than him, but he also isn't swayed away from someone his height or taller. His body type is muscular. All his swimming pays off because this guy is fit, and he knows it. One of the most smug feelings he's ever known is lifting up his partner with ease.

🛸 Colress is tall. He knows he is tall. Does it really matter to him? No. He is likely pulling a Volo and standing at 6'3" (190cm). The only way he might find use for his height is in making machines or finding out a height of pokemon for some reason. He also has no preferences for height on a partner. Though, he discovers this through him blind testing himself. Science man will always enjoy science, even in his boredom. Colress is pretty lanky. Though, he takes okay care of himself unless he's thrown himself into a big project.

���️ Lysandre is tall as well. This man is towering over most people in Kalos. He stands around 6'4" (193cm), maybe skewing towards 6'5" (195cm). He knows he is tall and absolutely uses it to his advantage if he ever needs to. There is some pride in it, too, since he feels it makes him more regal and closer to his royal heritage. He definitely enjoys a shorter partner, but he would be hard-pressed to find someone taller than him anyway. (Well, apparently, Ghetsis is.) The Flare Boss is a bit buff, and it's not that much of a secret when looking at him. Not overly so, but there is clear muscle development on him.

💀 Guzma is like 5'7" (170cm). He might not be the tallest guy out there (and there may be some annoyance about that), but he believes his ability to intimidate comes from just more than towering over people. Though, he does hate having his height mocked by anyone outside of Team Skull. He doesn't really care too much to think about height for dating. He can see the appeal in a lot of things, so he's down as long as they are genuine with him. His body type is pretty muscular since he admittedly cares a little bit about how he looks. Plus, he doesn't want to fall that behind Kukui.

🚀 Giovanni is a short king. 5'5" (165cm) to 5'6" (167cm) at the tallest. Does he think about his height? Sure, he wears tailored suits, after all. Does he care? No. Why? Because height isn't the only way to intimidate someone, and he knows that very well. Comments about his height mostly go ignored unless they are belittling him. That is the one thing he won't stand for. He prefers a partner his height or shorter, and he's aware that's a bit hypocritical. Yet, he wouldn't look past a taller partner. The real way to attract him is power, after all. He's surprisingly buff for his age. Being able to defend himself is crucial in his line of work, and pokemon battles aren't the only fights one might themselves in. He spends a decent amount of time maintaining his physique.

🌌 Cyrus stands at 5'11" (180cm). He rarely thinks too much about it. Sure, he's quite a bit taller than the average Sinnohan height, but when the champion of the region stands a head taller than him, he doesn't really think he's that much of an oddity. No one really remarks on his height since his harsh glare already frightens off most people. For a partner? Well, he doesn't think about romance, so he likely just ends up with whoever seems the most likely to put up with him and work with him. (Though, there actually might be a bit of frustration with a taller partner. Something something, inferiority issues, something something.) He is surprisingly buff. No one knows how he does it. In his uniform and by the definition of his face, he almost seems malnourished, but the second he's down to his undershirt, his true form is revealed. He does work out, just a bit. Maintaining a healthy body is a requirement for perfection, he thinks.

Based off these images with some own hcs tossed in:

[leggerefiore]

I am in love with your pokehybrid au's

Not exactly a request (I already sent one about pokehybrids and a s/o who reciprocates their courting methods) but I must know more of your thoughts

What pokemon do you headcanon for each character (for any characters you haven't yet covered or characters where you have more possible pokemon you hc for them)

And what behaviours do you believe they exhibit as part of their pokemon nature?

Archie would be a Sharpedo hybrid, obviously. The most unfortunate and obvious behaviour he has is a strong sense of smell for blood. It can prove itself useful as despite the usual nature of Sharpedos, he doesn't like see people or pokemon injured or not as if his mate has certain anatomy, he will freak out thinking they're injured when it's just their period. He also goes catatonic if you flip him on his back.

Giovanni is a character I'm torn on. For legendary au, he's a possible candidate for Mewtwo, which I guess he reflect by being cruel and powerful. But normally, it's hard to pick between Persian and Nidoking. Assuming Nidoking, he certainly has the temper the poison/ground type has, but keeps it controlled to the best of his ability. He also probably has the funny trait of being calmed by a long-term partner (if he can even manage having one).

Cynthia is a Garchomp hybrid, naturally. She can be a bit wild from it – The urge to savagely hunt down prey does always buzz in the back of her mind but she resists – but mostly remains her usual self. She also sometimes has to fight an urge to burrow which is not fun, especially when she has things she needs to do. At least the digging urge comes in handy for excavating at archaeological sites. She is also has the unfortunate dragon trait of being possessive of her mate, but she is careful to monitor it.

Houndoom Cyrus is endlessly tormented by his pack urges and how he unconsciously gets enough food for him and his partner. He also hates the all consuming urge that he should be resting with them when he wants to work. Poor guy ends up cuddling with his partner most nights and hates it (actually, he loves it. He's just frustrated and feels like he's not in control). Also if he ever wags his tail, he wants to simply be consumed by the void (again).

Pyroar Lysandre is the funniest situation imaginable. He seems more unaffected by whatever instincts it draws out. The idea of living in a "pride" is not something he desires at all, but he does have the protective nature granted by his hybrid genetics. Both his partner and Sycamore can attest to him getting terrifyingly aggressive to protect them. This also feeds into his madness about this world being horrible ugly and unsalvageable.

Metagross Steven is a confusing existence. A massive intelligence does not stop one Steven Stone from wanting his rocks. No, rather, it makes it easier for him to know where even more rocks are. His behaviour is barely noticeable, but he does hates to usual urges to pin down things with his limbs. He almost feels like he's a hybrid with a Galvantula or Ariados when that happens. His torment is unending since that does not really mesh with his general personality.

Camerupt Maxie would unfortunately have a similar disposition to his pokemon counterpart. Granted, he stops himself from spewing lava. He would also prefer to live in volcanic crater, but his human needs unfortunately drag him away from that. At least his base has magma in it to remind him of his preferred home. There also is a sense of desiring a pack within in him, which blends quite well with being in with his team.

Zebstrika Elesa ironically does not have tok mant problems with the herd instinct. She likes being with people! She only hates how nervous she gets after being alone for a while. Though, the downside is her temper is unfortunately afflicted with a Zebstrika temperament. At least it makes paparazzi and creepy fans get scared off. There are upsides and downsides to everything she supposes.

Rika would be a Clodsire hybrid and it really does not affect her too much. But, she maybe seems like she enjoys carrying around Poppy more than usual. Perhaps its the urge to tote around Woopers being fulfiled in a different way. Poppy is happy to get a piggy back ride, at least.

[leggerefiore]

Imagine the smug look on archies face being ranked no. 1 husband material. Cyrus tries to act like he doesnt care but we all know emotionally constipated man needs a hug 😔

Archie stood with his trophy engraved with "Best Husband" at the top of a winners podium. He has like a bunch of flowers thrown at his feet. His smile may be smug, but he is genuinely happy to have been voted so highly. Lysandre is to his write with his like second place medal, nodding solemnly. He understands why he lost to Archie but still thinks he we would be a better husband. Maxie is silently seething at losing to Archie to the man's left. Third place ribbon and not understanding his position. (Actually, he does, but he hates losing to Archie even still. Lysandre, he accepts as above him easily. Something something romantic Kalosians something something.)

Cyrus, however, stares at the podium in quiet ire. Why did he lose? He supposes he is not the most loving of people, but he would care for him partner dearly. His front of emotionlessness is forgotten by him as the sting of losing gets to him. He would be a fine husband! Any possible partner he got would want for not.

Giovanni shrugs and takes it. He is not particularly looking to be married, and his son's mother probably would attest to him not being the best guy. Well, actually, she would endlessly praise him, but if she were not completely enamoured with him, he supposed.

Ghetsis is planning to freeze Opelucid again for this shame. Somehow, this is N's fault.

Or somehow, all their s/os are there just watching this. Cyrus's own has to take him away because he is entering breakdown mode (bad). Maxie has to be reassured by his own, too, despite him doing well.

[leggerefiore]

Cyrus probably wears more cosy and comfortable clothes that still have a veneer of formality for casual wear. Sweaters are common or tops with a mock neck, as those are his preferences. He probably has a tendency to get cold easily, too, so maybe an addition of a cardigan around the home or a peacoat or overcoat for public. Usually, he also wears slacks, too. Though, at home he does swap over to sweats.

Archie probably keeps to generally comfortable styles like a simple t-shirt and jeans/jean shorts. He may also wear swim trucks under his clothes so he is ready to go whenever. He slips off the bandana bravely to less advertise himself as the head of Team Aqua. He prefers to keep on either slip-on shoes or sandals. He spends a lot of time on beaches, so sand in his shoes is a concern.

Maxie probably has a style similar to Cyrus's own but more concerning since he lives in a tropical climate. Though, he does occasionally switch it up and pull out a polo and khaki capri shorts if the heat is even too much for him. He probably wears loafers because he is insane unless he is going to visit Mt. Chimney in which they are swapped out for hiking shoes.

Lysandre is over the top and wears suits no matter the situation. If it is too hot for one, he swaps out a suit jacket for a simple vest. He likely does not believe in dressing down too much unless it is for certain activities. He wears more appropriate attire for working out, for example. Around his home, he likely wanders around in robes until he has reason to get dressed for the day.

Colress forgets how to dress normally and insists that a lab coat is the most appropriate attire for him. In Alola, he likely is still wearing a full suit under his mobile terminal coat. He probably even sleeps in a lab coat. There is an aesthetic he must commit to entirely. (Though, honestly, he probably does wear normal clothes if his partner insists on it. Evil Colress sighting in a long sleeve shirt and black pants eating a bagel sandwich in Castelia.)

Guzma's clothing... Well, he basically dresses the same as his skull uniform. Depending on the heat index, his jacket might be shed to just the tank top underneath, but the sweats and speakers remain the same. He might be convinced to try jeans on or dress up for a formal event, but it always looks a bit off. Guzma is just meant to exist in atheleisure.

[leggerefiore]

What villains would reconsider their plans if confronted by their S/O?

well, naturally, it depends on how far in they all are. bc no one is stopping them once they're about to awaken a legendary.

Truly, Maxie and Archie can likely be convinced. Their shared madness about upsetting the balance of land to ocean ratio can be amended so long as it is not right as they awaken the legendary. Both really do cate about their lover's thoughts, but simply feel driven to finish their goals. (Especially considering they formed an entire group around the premise.) It would probably take a few times, yet when their partner questions them from a logical perspective, they both just suddenly freeze. Maxie's scientist brain finally activates, and he feels like an idiot just trying to spite an old friend/rival. Archie just feels mortified that he almost drowned everyone and made the earth even inhospitable to most pokemon. But, they do stop. Somehow.

Cyrus, in a way, can be stopped, but it would not be through discussion. Truly, giving him some other purpose that distracts him from lingering too much on his worst thoughts does work best (Lenie method), but he also is quite terrified of upsetting and losing his partner. He wants his perfect world, but he also wants the only person that he genuinely feels close to remaining in his life. Telling him that you know and that you want it to stop leaves him breathless and terrified. Of course, this would have to be early on. After he gets a taste of the Sinnohan myth knowledge, it will be difficult to get him to stop climbing that damn mountain.

Guzma... If we count him, can have whatever affect Lusamine cast on him destroyed when his partner asks him what the fuck he is doing. He will stop. Yeah, maybe it is not a good idea to listen to the lady who started calling herself a mother to everyone but her children. Gladion does not seem to be doing too well. He agrees pretty readily.

[leggerefiore]

Self-aware AU! Villains in masters.... The boys are fighting...

All of them are fighting their way to getting to sit in the lobby and be the one that greets you. None of your other favourited characters seem to appear. If you send them out together on lodge expeditions, they all seem to never interact with one another, trying to ignore the annoyance of being trapped together. All of the others are pissed that Giovanni gets to actually be a "friend" in the lodge and gets the interactions.

All of them are fighting for your attention and favour likely messing with the code to make their attacks more powerful than they actually should be to make you use them more. Eventually, it starts to break down even more among them.

Giovanni is trying to manipulate and intimidate his way to the top as usual while Archie and Maxie make a tentative alliance and decide that they work better together than against one another. Cyrus is hating the existential dread of it all and hoping that by getting your attention, he can escape this virtual hell and join you in some perfect reality. Lysandre also wants to see your world but plans to make his beautiful world out of the shell of this virtual one with you at his side somehow. Guzma doesn't get what's going on with these other guys and just acts the most normal. By that, he constantly tries to hog the main spot in the lobby. And somewhere - somewhere Volo watches. His plans grow more and more intense by each passing day. Whenever they free his model and stop leaving him purely as a concept.

No matter who you choose, the rest will be upset, alas. Good luck picking one.

(They all also try to give you gems when they can instead of skip tickets and sync orbs.)

[leggerefiore]

Pokemon equivalent of those women pretending their mob wives and upset their look is becoming an aesthetic... It's people rping being in/having been in relationships with villainous team leaders or admins. Just seeing that and showing your lover who either snickers or scowls at it. (Also, at their uniforms becoming a "look".)

Cyrus is horrified that someone is pretending to be in a relationship with him, and they think he would make his partner wear a Galactic uniform. Why have you shown him this? Who is doing this? He is about to have it taken down because he finds it too embarrassing to his group's image. Saturn is about to have to aid a befuddled social media adverse 27 year old navigate something.

Archie doesn't get it and just shrugs. Sure, he would love for his Luvdisc to wear an Aqua uniform, but it isn't some requirement. He finds himself laughing at the person trying subtly imply they were with him while completely getting his charges wrong and saying he was in prison now. He and Maxie got out because Steven pulled a few strings.

Lysandre doesn't know how to respond. On his holo caster service? Really? He wants to roll his eyes at their pictures of their "outfits" and claiming certain Galarian and Paldean designers were Kalosian. Foolish. You awarded with a speech about this would still being yet ugly and in need of fixing for showing him this. (Granted, he does hate to admit they got pretty close to what clothing styles he tends to prefer on you.)

Giovanni chuckles at the device and then proceeds to make a call. You decide against asking questions. Whatever they are claiming, whether that be an implied relationship with him or one of his executives, he prefers that sort of thing not be out there. They also did not get his aesthetic tastes right at all. He knows better than to go for anything too flashy for a day to day look.

Maxie is distressed by his team's uniform becoming a "look" and the effects it might have on it. Sure, it might bring Magma more positive attention now that he has reformed it, but he does not like his logo being used so freely. You then point out they are implying to have been a relationship with him, and he does his ORAS after losing pose. Tabitha has to help him with this because middle-aged man has no idea how to go about this.

[leggerefiore]

Yeah I meant dick sizes 😭

bravely announce penis plz😔

cw: 18+ content and not real, penis size hcs

characters: Maxie, Archie, Colress, Cyrus, Volo, Lysandre, Guzma

🌋 Maxie is probably a grower and not a shower, much to his past few lovers' first comments towards him. He is average length, around, say 5.5 inches (around 14cm). He doesn't really feel one way or the other about his penis, since he rarely goes out of his way to engage in sex. And, then, even with a partner, he focuses on skill over anything else. He is also uncircumcised, and the carpet does, in fact, match the drapes. His pubes are well trimmed and cared for, much like the rest of him.

💧 Archie is girthy and long. It's a wonder that his wetsuit can hide anything at all, truly. He is at a staggering 7.5 inches (19cm) and is admittedly a bit smug about it. There are not many opportunities to bring it up, of course, but he deeply enjoys seeing his partner's surprise and excitement about it. It is no wonder he would have, pardon such outdated language, “big dick energy.” He, too, is uncircumcised. One might think his pubes are a bit messy, but just like he cares for his beard, they get trimmed and managed.

🛸 Colress is lanky, in multiple ways. But, what he lacks in girth, he more than makes up in height. He has measured his dick properly according to modern techniques to 7 inches (18cm). Noted to be above the true average of 5 inches (13cm). He barely thinks any of it outside of statistical anomaly. Of course, he does find his partner deeply enjoys it, so perhaps there is more to this than he thought. Though, he also has a heavy focus on the act itself over just length. He sadly, as an Unovan, is circumcised. He finds it a bit foolish his family gave into social stigma over science but accepts reality is what it is. His pubes are naturally well cared for, as he is a firm believer of maintaining oneself.

☄️ Cyrus does not like to think about his penis too much, but his partner asked if they could measure it just once, he begrudgingly allows it. 6.5 inches (17cm). He shrugs in response. It is also noted that he has some decent girth. He later feels a bit smug upon learning he's longer than the average length and girth. Cyrus is uncircumcised, too. His pubes are as well groomed as the rest of him. He quietly debates going bald down there but resists. This looks best, he supposes.

💀 Guzma is endlessly smug about his length, naturally. 7 inches (18cm), and he always loves seeing his partner's reactions. He is girthy, too. Though, he is messy down there. Guy feels a nervous having scissors or shavers anywhere near his dick. Even his partner offering a hand goes rejected. Not happening. He is uncircumcised as well. His dad probably wanted him to be circumcised, though.

☕️ Lysandre is large in many, many ways. His dick is another. 8 inches (20cm) and girth tends to scare off most of possible partners, unfortunately. He supposes they simply were unworthy or something similar. The Flare Boss is more than attentive and would never hurt his lover. His grooming down there is extremely well done and reflective of the rest of him. Uncircumcised, naturally.

⭐️ Volo reflects his height with 7 inches (18cm) with his dick length. He doesn't really think about it too much, since survival is more important in Hisui and his love of archaeology keeps his attention. Of course, with his partner, he loves how stunned by it, they are. He has a reasonable girth, too. Uncircumcised, naturally, and also well groomed. Volo takes pride in his appearance somewhat.

[leggerefiore]

Archie talking to Kyogre like its an upset dog vs Maxie talking to Groudon like it cares.

[leggerefiore]

Maxie and Archie probably would not actually be that bad in a poly relationship except during the events of the Hoenn games. That is the only time they are at each other's throats, and it is comedic at the worst of it all.

But, still, both whine that you stayed with that land nerd/wannabe pirate instead of just going off with them. They understand your decision and (begrudgingly) accept it. Instead, they shift gears into proving themselves the better lover of the two and how correct their plans are.

There are still a few meetings between the three of you, though. Those two cannot even completely hate each other at their worst moments, but it is funny to see them try (and fail).

[leggerefiore]

Remembered the lunch box/bento posts and am now thinking about that with the villainous team leaders bc it's funny.

Cyrus with his Rotom forms themed meal that he silently enjoys, alongside the Sneasel burger, of course. Though, he does wonder why you put that much effort in for him. (His commands watched as he stared at the Sneasel burger in wonder for a few moments.)

Lysandre being tormented by the face of a Litleo on a cupcake while trying to eat what you so lovingly prepared for him. People wonder why he seems so troubled throughout the rest of the day.

Archie devouring everything and nearly missing the cute Octillery themed sausage and Carvanha face in his rice toppings. He smiles at the theming and actually stops to appreciate it. Next time, he'd have to request a Sharpedo.

Maxie is unable to consume the Numel themed omelette for the sanctity of his mental health. Why did you give it the cute, sleepy face of the numb pokemon? His hunger grows stronger, yet he cannot consume what you made for him. Until it becomes too much, and he begrudgingly gives in.