#i just need to get high
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resisting the urge to incessantly text my dealer if carts landed by smashing k
#stream#not looking forward to telling my drug support person that i’ve been using powderrrrrss#messy#i just love downers#me resisting the urge to use the blow & t: 😶#like ALSKALKSAKSLAKSLAKSLA#CAN ANYONE FIND ME CLEAN SMACK 😭😭😭😭😭#i need weed#i need to get high#like#hour 14 no weed#sad !#not even the fake weed that i was smoking ALSKALSKALKALKSLAKALAKS#THE JEETERS LANDIN TODAYYYYY#I HOPE#SWEAR TO GOD#if not i’m just grabbing the hash idgaf#i just need to get high#anyway#<- has a problem#<- needs to deal w the weed problem#<- doesn’t consider weed psychoactive#<- weed is cigarettes#like deadass weed for me is LITERALLY just ‘smoking’ like it’s nicotine & thc i always have both w me#even the vapes 😭😭😭😭😭#like ok yall let me put some perspective: i take 2 vapes & hit blinkers on them at the same time to get out of bed#like is that healthy no am i going to deal w it also no#like at least the PHYSICAL thc withdrawals were fixed like soon after i picked up the fake weed pens lol#like ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSA#‘HOWD U KNOW ITS FAKE’ ‘WHY AM I GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWALS’
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I love the budtender that usually helps me out at the dispensary cause I tell him what I’m feeling and he just starts throwing shit at me and let’s me sit there and decide in silence.
#like#I say#I want something infused probs indica leaning#and he pulls this giant bin of prerolls that aren’t organized#and starts pulling shit out saying the strain and throwing it on the counter#I Luv it#like at this point#I don’t care what it’s gonna make me feel like#I just need to get high#and if it has a cool name? bonus
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who wants to lay on top of me like a weighted blanket and fix me
#i can't use actual weighted blankets bc it feels suffocating but another person? 10/10#not even in any kind of way i just need someone to crush my body back into some sort of shape that is not exhausted and aching#need me a bear hug and a bear to crush me tbh#the cabin will fix me. i will be secluded and alone and get high one of the nights and have smores. i will take stupid nature walks and read
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I truly, TRULY do not know how to say this, because the fact that I have to say it makes me feel like I am losing my grip on reality. But no, in the post-capitalistic anarchist utopia, I will not be relying on “autistic minecraft girlies” to be building inspectors because - and this may shock you - one of those occupations takes years of education in how to read and interpret hundreds of thousands of lines of regulations based on complicated math and physics that were the result of decades of tragedy and death, and the other one involves playing a children’s video game.
#i am begging this website. BEGGING it. to stop acting like building codes are state oppression#and please stop reducing blue collar jobs to 'so easy any handyman could do it with a youtube video'#that's how people fucking die#i didn't spend five years learning how to do my job safely to watch people online tell me it could've just been a course in high school#i know that this is like. a minority minority opinion and not really worth getting worked up over#but it's so annoying to see supposed leftists denigrating blue collar jobs like this#same poster also opined that we won't need garbagemen#because 'if the trash is bothering people they'll figure out a way to clean it without having to pick it up'#like what??? does that even fucking mean????#construction
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was rewatching fabian’s baron moment on account of it being the most delicious piece of pvp in my recent memory and ally beardsley’s growth as a player just shone through so brightly and with such clarity. after dusting off their shock they immediately asked about the nemesis ward, had enough knowledge about fellow pcs stocked to remember adaine’s ac with such like frustrated confidence and certainty, suggested to siobhan to dimension door out of adaine’s room, like. they came into this making a character with 4 dex. and now the dice deity offered to roll a check to sense if adaine was in danger. making decisions, asking questions, getting invested in the story, trying so hard with the tools they have to save characters from danger; ally beardsley is an incredible d&d player.
#blahblah tried to fly with a ribbon dancer SHUT UP. SHUT UP THEY HAD A VISION.#margaret encino’s call to the guards in battle of the brands is also a good moment#‘bonus action pick up a turtle and kiss it’ is CHARMING and FUNNY and APPRECIATES the art team#i swearrr to god if anyone comments abt them trying to railroad other players' actions. what the fuck do you want from them.#u hate when they play kristen as unserious when she’s literally a teenager with adhd + when theyre literally a comedian on a d&d comedy sho#but if theyre invested in other pc’s welfare youll shut them down too? bffr#ally beardsley you are so special to me#fully aware theyre an adult who likely does not care about people on the internet talking abt how theyre doing their job. as they should#they dont need defending they shouldnt need it people should just be normal abt them and until they are beardsley get behind me#yna.txt#fantasy high junior year spoilers#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#dimension 20#d20#ally beardsley
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It really really frustrates me when some people, disabled or not, say "well I can do [x thing] because I was forced to" in response to someone saying they can't do something.
"Well I had to eat whatever was for dinner or else I would have starved."
Me too! And I became severely malnourished because I could not eat what was put in front of me.
"My parents hit me if I didn't get good grades so I had to."
Mine too! Except I could not get good grades in a mainstream class no matter how hard I tried or what was at stake.
"I have to mask because I need to keep my job."
Me too! Except I can't even pass an interview because of my limited ability to mask.
"I can't have meltdowns around other people or else I'll be bullied/abused/mocked."
Same here! But I can't hold in my meltdowns.
You need to understand that some people will never be able to do the things you can, no matter how hard they're pushed or what the consequences are for not doing it. I'm really sorry that you were forced to talk, but someone else being unable to speak does not mean that they could if there was enough pressure. Stop assuming that everyone who doesn't mask/speak/etc. grew up in a safe and supportive environment. There are people who would (and do!) die because they're neglected and can't learn to just do things themselves.
I really don't want to be the "other people have it worse" guy or come across like I don't think people are allowed to complain about something just because it's less extreme than someone else's situation, but some of you need to have more compassion for people who are not like you. Just be kind. And if someone says they can't do something, don't assume that it's because they were coddled or whatever.
#i know this has been said before#but it's something that's really been bothering me a lot lately and i need to get it out#this obviously applies to any disability or condition i just used autism as an example#autism#autistic#asd#actually autistic#neurodivergent#disabled#disability#level 1 autism#level 2 autism#level 3 autism#low support needs#high support needs#medium support needs
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Finally managed to record a bit of David at curtain call 😍
Brilliant seeing this incredible production once again - and getting to see what's different and what isn't 🥹🥰
(Please don't repost ☺️)
#david tennant#west end macbeth#macbeth#Completely failed to record my own videos at the Donmar#since I couldn't get myself to just hold up a camera in their faces rather than joining in on the clapping#so also didn't record the whole thing this time but at least a bit of it ❤️#and ah the handle is from twitter 🙈#also I really need to learn to make better gifs and/or video edits because the quality definitely looks better on my phone than this 🙈#Edit: Looks like he has tried not to kick as high this week from what I have seen 🥺#I hope that's just random and not because they saw the photos and videos and were like maybe try not to show too much#Because my main reason for uploading this was just that he's absolutely adorable and such a delight to watch 🥹#and it's not like there's actually anything to see besides the shorts and his knees which are on full display throughout anyway#and will probably be on display for the filmed version as well#So hope it's just that either I haven't seen any videos from the same angle or it's just random how he ends up doing it#please keep up with the cute twirl and kick DT ❤️
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Nobody is as excited about the preview as I am. I have paragraphs.
#very bad doodle I just need to get this out there#don’t look at it too hard I’m begging#someone please talk to me about the blood rush breakup before the world explodes#it is not that serious but I will do anything for twenty seconds of them arguing#the episode hasn’t come out but I am shaking#every time they talk I become a little more evil and fucked up#genuinely though aside from the silliness of the conversation being about sports I have some very strong feelings about the little bits we-#-got to see in the preview#like I will inevitably talk about it but just because I know people are gonna beat me to it I just want to express how excited I am#fantasy high#d20#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20#gorgug thistlespring#fabian seacaster#thistlecaster#<- yeah fuck it why not#for my one mutual who likes them#this is for you and you only#fhjy spoilers#my art
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'Dead Poets Society' gang
Headcanon that these four drop poetry and literature quotes on their conversations unprompted.
Jason 'English-major-I-only-visit-the-manor-for-the-library' Todd-Wayne
Damian 'I-master-liberal-arts-unlike-you-plebs-PHD-holder' al Ghul-Wayne
Cassandra 'I-learn-English-thru-Shakespeare-as-god-intended' Cain-Wayne
Duke 'only-title-holder-of-vigilante-poet-and-will-cuss-you-just-as-poetically' Thomas-(future) Wayne
#My background is ass#I promise to practice but omg i am losing motivation coz its too ugly#started putting some on coloring that i started being happy about it#But my background is level toddler i hate it#the patience and discipline to make my lines straight and clean is nonexistent gdi...why did past me choose library gdi#Just writing some Duke in my fics and this image of them all just made me wanna do art...Duke is a poet and writes stories u kno?#Duke is not a wayne yet...and is not dead yet...but with how comics goes then its just a matter of time lol#They're all in school here...Cass and Jason are college watching over their juniors in high school#everyone use cardigans but Jason like his leather so no thanks lol#Duke and Cass in outsiders are cute#jason todd#dc comics#damian wayne#fanart#robin#cassandra cain#duke thomas#inking & background study#Damian is now 14!!!! He's getting old...he's like a baby yesterday omg#I need to stop obsessing over this so i posted a WIP so i can continue writing my fic!!! argh#Im gonna watch youtube tutorials again on drawing bookshelves coz i cannot do this without guidance
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
#writeblr#i was doing a lot with high school students. over and over again#other teachers kept asking me what i was doing differently - why the kids listened to me. i am not particularly foreboding#and i have a pretty firm personal policy of never reacting in anger#godhelpme.#i was always kind of taken aback#because in general the kids were pretty easy. i explained i needed to keep everything ��PG-13” because this was my workplace#and it was kind of their workplace#too. besides#i love swearing#and since i couldn't swear#neither could they - so if they were going to say “fuck” or become violent#they needed to choose a really specific time#because we only get “the one”.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened.#i think just because - that rule makes sense. the kids understand that i don't want to be unfair to them#that censorship is stupid#but that i'm under these rules too so like let's ride it out together#also i look young and tbh between me and u nobody wants to make the nice english teacher cry#the way these kids defended me to their friends was really genuinely so heartwarming bc the Grouchy Frat Boy#would be like MISS RAQUEL DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE BRO DON'T TALK BACK TO HER
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i don't have coherent thoughts about it much less words but god just. kristen applebees realizes she's being attacked from within by kalina, and what does she do? her girlfriend just disappeared, she and riz are on their own, they haven't found the last ingredient they need to make the tincture to heal the shadow cat plague, and said plague is now manifesting enough to kill kristen from the inside, and kristen...doesn't save herself. she casts her one greater restoration on riz. she trusts her friend. kristen "crisis of faith" applebees, who spends the entire first half of high school with no idea what she believes in, finds herself dying from an unseen assailant and chooses, without a second's hesitation, to put her faith - and her life - in the hands of her friends. because sure, kristen may be a devout young woman, but she knows better than most that gods are just people with tremendous power. and you know what? her friends are people with tremendous power, too. and they care about her without exception, without doubt. so when the chips are down, kristen believes in her friends. not knowing how they'll come through, but always knowing that they will.
#just don't fucking text okay#kristen applebees#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#kristen casting greater restoration on riz KNOWING she can only cast it once and in all likelihood won't have the chance to long rest-#-before the shadow cat fucking kills her from within. and just doing it anyway. just putting blind faith in riz and in her friends. i#i just#dimension 20#d20#dropout#ally beardsley#stuff#fantasy high meta#everyone look away im blogging emotionally#i havent even watched junior year yet so i need nobody to say any spoilers okay#i just needed to get this out
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less steve harrington "i try to be a good guy despite my past" and more steve harrington "i've always been a good person (albeit probs annoying asf), you just stereotyped me based on my interest in sports"
#steve harrington#like why is he always apologizing#i think people want to make him into smth completely docile with the added benefit of apocalyptic berserking#but like he's a bitch and also besties with a lesbian#he can both dish it and take it#and i feel like people tend to take the general fandom consensus that steve used to be an asshole and run with it#not to reiterate but guys was he even really a bully or just a popular high schooler#like yeah bullying can get really bad esp like according to those fucked up eighties movies#but also like sometimes teens are just fucking mean and clique-y#sorry is it a crime to be insular and wary of outsiders#anyway more steve harrington being misjudged but also not caring bc the people who matter know him better#pushing my perfect steve harrington agenda#bc he's not perfect actually but he's my perfect little princess who needs to be loved by everyone
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vampire au where they can only drink the blood type they were before they were turned. other blood has an almost poisonous effect, burning them from within like acid and drinking too much of it can kill them
in the old days, before the knowledge of blood types, it made humans they could feed on absolutely precious. they're kept safe, pampered and doted on; a vampire’s most prized possession
attacking another vampire's human is seen as the highest insult; not only is it a slight against them, it also carries the implication of "i want you to starve"
it's also used as the cruelest of punishments; starving a vampire for months, until they're feral with hunger just for their torturer to throw in a random human, watching them desperately suck down poison, their instincts begging them to keep drinking even as it kills them
ghost is one of the few who survived it; thrown in a pit so deep, he saw stars in the middle of the day, left with nothing but the dried bodies of the humans roba drained without care, others with their throats slit, blood he can't drink spilled out around them
a taunt of the one thing he needs but will never get
but ghost hasn't survived this long just to give up here
he refuses to die in this stinking, rotted pit
ghost is a force of nature as he descends over roba's manor; killing any who wander into his path until the halls run red. until he gets his hands on roba and tells him a secret:
vampires can feed on the blood of any vampire, regardless of blood type
it becomes a legend in vampire high society; if you starve another, you'd best make sure they actually die
otherwise you might end up piled in a dining room, the vampire you left for dead lounging on a throne of corpses with his fangs lodged in your throat
ghost decimates roba's empire, burning it to the ground until no one dares to speak his name in fear of incurring his wrath. it's incredibly taboo for a vampire to feed off another but ghost's too powerful for anyone to challenge him and the other vampires are too scared to try. scared of what he's willing to do, the lengths he'll go to; not that they'll ever admit it
soap is the first human he ever brings to court; delicately bathed in the finest silks and jewels, his throat always bare so he can show off ghost's ownership, his bite framed in lace
he's not like the delicate waifs the other vampires show off; he doesn't cling to his master, demure and submissive. he shows off his teeth as often as any vampire, fully willing to rip out the throats of any who insult him or ghost
a feral master needs a just as feral pet
#this also has me thinking of the different ways vampires would test blood before they drink it#obviously they wouldnt go straight for the bite just to get a mouthful of poison#have you seen the interview with the vampire movie and that scene with lestat and his sharp ring cuff thing?#ghost would absolutely have something like that#i see him having a full skeleton gauntlet type thing that cuffs onto his wrist and fingers#and at the end of his fingers hed have the claws#using them to shallowly stab johnnys throat#just enough for a drop to run down to his collarbone for him to lick up#goddamn#soft stop writing half your aus in the tags challenge#its hard okay i like to keep the post clean but then i get supplementary ideas so they go here#i only wanna present one idea at a time but i need everyone to picture soap dressed like one of the brides from van helsing#anyway high vampire!ghost and his beloved human pet!johnny au when#also peep the coraline reference lmao i had to#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#save post
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yeehaw
transcript:
JENNIFER: Don't get me wrong, this dress is nice and all, but- JENNIFER: ...it'll be real hard running around and stuff in it, don't you think? JENNIFER: Especially with. Whatever this is. (ass cage??) MARTY: I, uh... MARTY: Yeah, huh. MARTY: How- JENNIFER: (noticing the pants Marty's holding) Bingo. JENNIFER: Sorry, Marty, gonna hafta borrow this- MARTY: Wha- Hey!
everyone was making such good jennifer in 1885 posts so i nicked a couple for the gist of this one
#back to the future#bttf#bttf fanart#marty mcfly#jennifer parker#kit does an art#my thoughts on the 1885 jennifer attire situation#honestly i just wanted to draw jennifer in a suit i will be so fr#had the urge to for a while now and then the whole jennifer in 1885 stuff started going round so yknow you see an excuse you take it#listen she wears collared shirts and vests all the time she was born for the suit look#girls in suits.... peak gender#may make the big colored piece its own post bc it does get buried in comic#historical fashion guys i tried please look at this with one eye closed#marty's poncho is so fun to draw hehe#i made jen's necktie orange and her shirt kind of beige in order to contrast with marty's blue and grey#and also made her browns lighter than his except the shoes for as much contrast as you can get with ten million shades of brown#jennifer wears the dress to the festival bc yknow its a party you gotta get fancy and she's just planning to have a good time#so the need for wide range of movement isn't too high on priority here#and then Things Happen and she's like are you kidding me. the one time i wear this thing#ofc no full sprint worthy events happen but she'd be pretty miffed about it for a second
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Shout out to all artists who had to work without any strong direction or instruction.
I wish you a merry “the client likes it anyways”
#non mdzs#The real mood of this comic is:#AKA: you are in charge of designing a character but have only been given personality as a reference.#This was technically for a game dev meeting and I am part of a team rather than a contractor hired on.#But hey the anxiety going into this was still crazy high. I was playing a risky gambit.#Part two of this comic is me putting all those clowns on a powerpoint and presenting them in front of a few people.#Pointing at them and saying “Okay which clown do you like best? How can we sex up this clown more?”#I think I may be giving the impression that I’m more into clowns than I actually am. It just fit with the character okay!#I had to consult the REAL down-for-clowners for tips. Photos exchanged in the dark alleys of a discord server.#A hooded figure shakes their head at the first photo. Slowly nods as I add puffy sleeves. Nods furiously as I drop the neckline.#This clown still needs to marinate a bit more before I’m ready to present them to the wider world.#So stay tuned! They have become a delight to draw and develop!#Game dev diary#As this is part of that new arc in my life.#Can you tell I've been practicing with digital art a lot more? Boy have I ever! I'm getting stronger! And faster!
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The posts ive seen about "I really hope the bad kids dont hurt the rat grinders :(" is giving the same energy as the hangman to fabian going "we should be nice to her cause if we just keep being nice to her then she'll stop being so mean!!"
#THE WAY I WAS CHEERING AT SEEING HOW INTENSE THE BAD KIDS GOT IN THE FIGHT#LIKE YESSS#LETS FUCKING GO#GET THEIR ASSSSSS#“theyre just kids” BRO SO ARE THE ENTIRE REST OF THE SCHOOL AND THEYRE NOT MURDERING INNOCENTS WHILE TRYING TO SUMMON A CORRUPTED RAGE GOD#TO SUPPOSEDLY RULE THE WORLD???#its actually so easy to Not murder other kids and summon a rage god to rule the world#insanely easy to not do that#“cut his head off so he wont be revived”#“IM GOING TO SKIN YOU”#“loser says what?”#I LOVE THEM#THE ENERGY#OPTIMAL#INCREDIBLE#FABULOUS#i love my bad kids soso much#im going so insane over this episode i need to stop posting about it#dimension 20 fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20 fhjy#fantasy high#dimension 20#bad kids#the rat grinders
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