#i just miss the community we had | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queerdraco · 1 year

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i just find it so funny that i had NO idea that i was autistic back when i was active on this blog 24/7, or well, sad too that i didn't know of course, but i had no idea what autism could be when i was a teenager. it just makes so much sense!

#i just miss the community we had #the friends i made!!!!#i still follow some on instagram and it's lovely #but it hurts when i think about how i'm never going to experience that intense connection again #not as it was in like 2012/2013 #it was AMAZING #it's truly fascinating how i had a whole life on here for so long #idk i just want to scream into the void that i appreciate that time so so so much #can you tell i'm nostalgic being back #i just wish i could find some active blogs again #my dash is soooooo dead rn #remember when we could write entire posts in the tags

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lazylittledragon · 2 months

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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

#ramble #sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well #if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD #he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE #like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one #holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do #and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that #idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything #also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore #so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks #also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently #also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this #again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable #if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time

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genericpuff · 3 months

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hate to be cynical on main but it really do be like this every single time a new "not like social media" art platform comes out of the woodwork and then people migrate to it in droves just to find out the only other people using it are other artists that they're competing with for any scrape of viewership from an increasingly oversaturated internet that didn't exist when we were teenagers in 2009

#idk who needs to hear this but deviantart wasn't all that #i know because i was there LOL #people got doxxed and hate crime'd on DA all the fucking time #that feeling of having a 'tight knit community' that you miss was just weirdos on the internet having a good time talking to each other #and a lot of people were also having a real BAD time #nowadays every online conversation is quietly prefaced with the expectation that it'll turn into a new follower or shop sale #so people just aren't willing to invest in long-term community building anymore just for the sake of having a community #it's just “will this site help me grow my career?” no the fuck it won't no single site has ever done that for anyone jfc #the internet was also just a lot smaller back then #you were a “big deal” if you had even just 100 followers #sorry to those who aren't ready to hear this but we can't have what the internet was in 2009 again #enshittification

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spaceratprodigy · 8 months

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*gulp* deacon/iris "please just kiss me" intimacy ask........ NYE party- (i am shot)

@oldworldwidgets — [ intimacy prompts ]

It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts

We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again

pose reference

#if u need me I'm gonna be on the floor thinking abt the doomed love of the disaster besties #aud.. aud my love my darling.. this little scene we crafted has been rotating nonstop in my brain for months #it has fundamentally ruined me #but it's so perfect it hurts so good I love seeing the lines blurring I love them not being able to get it right #struggling to communicate through the heartache *chefs kiss*#him.. him being the one to ask..#I am unwell you are always sending me banger prompts my dear AND you always know how to help put my chaotic ramblings in the perfect words #OUGH miss aud oldworldwidgets I love you with my entire heart and soul you are such a ray of sunshine in my life #also I still have the other two intimacy prompts u sent me for them in my back pocket.....#I've had some ideas of how they can spend the night on the roof under the stars together......#more on that later #ANYWAY #ilysm I am blowing you so many kisses rn #finally the people get to know who miss iris really kissed on new years eve on this fine day of *checks watch* valentine's day #(sorry nicky ✌😔 just bestie things u know how it is)#my art #sole survivor #fallout #fallout 4 #fo4 #deacon #deacon fallout 4 #deacon fo4 #oc x canon

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pickled-flowers · 11 months

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Actually crying rn like Aro/Ace people are so amazing we deserve the world, we deserve to feel as confident as anyone else about ourselves, we deserve to take space and share our joy 😭😭

#and allos need to listen more! make space for us!#again im not really eloquent rn lol im so emotional about this #those who have followed me for a while know just how much this matters to me #i want to continue to help my community for years and years #i want so much better for my community #ive had the privilege of becoming an adult while surrounded by other aspec people #and while we rarely discussed about it they were still there #one of the queer mentor i had when i was 17 was ace aro and agender #miss her :(#but yea #my brain is very mushy rn i need to go eat smt jdhdjdb #anyways #a very very nice day to all of you

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redysetdare · 11 months

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every time i see a post that is like "ughh why cant we have aspec characters who aren't aroace for once" I have to do a double take like "is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?" because genuinely....where is all this aroace rep y'all are complaining about? Why cant i find it yet it's apparently the only aspec rep we get?? You admit that TV never says the word aromantic so where is the aroace rep. So far I've pretty much only seen canonically asexual characters and not much else buddy.

#text #half the time i think these ppl see other aspec ppl saying that x character feels aroace and then they take it as canon rep #instead of an interpretation of the character which likely was never meant to be written as aspec at all #because majority of people don't even know what that is #this isn't me saying that we shouldn't have aroallo or alloace rep btw #this is me complaining about people throwing aroace ppl under the bus because apparently we are 'hogging' all the representation in media #and it just reads as people being aphobic towards aroace people specifically and it drives me insane #you can ask for more aroallo and alloace characters without complaining and shitting on aroace characters????#like bro we are all on the same fucking team. we are all trying to get seen and understood. we all want to see ourselves in media #stop fighting like one of us is somehow way more privileged than the other because 'you have x rep'#we all have crumbs my guy. just because someone else is getting crumbs doesn't mean that its your crumbs being taken.#idk i see so many posts like this and it makes me feel so unwelcome in the aro and ace communities #im tired of aroace people being used as a scapegoat that you can target to pretend like you're punching up #when in reality you're just committing friendly fire against people who are on your team #i miss when the aro and ace communities used to like... work together as a big aspec community #now ppl r way too focused on separating them and acting like they have nothing in common and don't have the same goals #and both communities now tend to put a lot of blame onto aroace people because of stereotypes we never had control over in the first place #it's exhausting #like the aphobia is coming from inside the house #i didn't go through the ace discourse on tumblr to deal with this shit.

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oathkeeper-of-tarth · 7 months

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Also I quit my job of what would in about a month or two have been 10 years, and perhaps now I will get to actually be a human being again.

#honestly? honestly?#last week i told the two (2) godawful egomaniac lab head Man In Academia bosses i quit and that we need to formalise it asap and i just #felt like a little feather about to float away on a breeze #maybe now i can do normal people things like eat and sleep and have a routine of some sort idk #i have been slowly losing it for at least 3-4 years now #i took a screenshot and last year i had no fewer than 14 fucking travel orders fulfilled #most of which consisted of like 12+ hour days on ships and docks #i'm just so tired man #not for reblogging obviously #i don't really wanna vent anymore or ponder them and the entire godforsaken institution but like #good riddance tbh #which is really really sad when you think about it! but here we are #it was just... no trace of future anywhere to be seen! entirely a Void!!#gonna post a beefy lesbian paladin real quick to push this post down lmao #but i felt like sharing because i know there's good and concerned people who follow me here and i both appreciate and miss you all #and lord knows some of you have been listening to me vent and whine for ages #am i going to miss some great people and the research community of my field? of course but also it was all just completely unsustainable

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faaun · 3 months

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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her #and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that #bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control #AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern #which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have #become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and #then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see #the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then #immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now #hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him #she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women #bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely #fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are #capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the #like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond #or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to #feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe #months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time #its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like #there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she #wouldnt show up and ive been right each time #like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at #them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all #anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it #and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy #and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way #its just AUSHD AUGH #anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore

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wasabikitcat · 9 days

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community college is so funny because half of the teachers are like "For this class you need to use lockdown browser for all quizzes and tests. You need to buy this 70 dollar textbook, and all papers turned in must be in APA format with a title page even if they're only 500 words long. I will not accept late assignments. Also you have a minimum of 4 assignments a week." and the other half are like "you don't need proctoring for the final exam I trust you. here's a download link to a pirated copy of the textbook. as long as your writing is coherent and demonstrates an understanding of the material I literally could not care less what format you use. I can't figure out how canvas works so I'm not giving you due dates, just make sure it's turned in before the grading period ends. your only weekly assignment is a forum post with a minimum of 100 words."

#my favorite teacher so far is still the film history professor I had in my first semester.#he was very old and didn't understand how canvas worked at all and sometimes had trouble opening a video file #but simultaneously he was tech literate enough to recommend we use firefox with an ad blocker #because whenever someone missed class and was like 'where do i go to find the movie' he'd be like 'use an ad blocker and google it'#he said the school made him stop emailing links to free movie sites because people would open them on chrome with no ad block #and there'd be borderline malware on them. like this guy gave me the impression he was like. a veteran movie pirate lol.#that class had barely any assignments. like there wasn't a final exam or anything.#he just wanted us to write a paragraph or so answering a few questions about the movies we watched. it was chill.#and i also learned a lot actually. like i didn't know what a nickelodeon was before then. or the Hays Code.#the movies were genuinely good. i never thought Id be that into old black and white movies or westerns for example but they actually slapped #some of them had really mature themes and i definitely started to understand the people on this website who are like #'if the only media you consume is children's media you should maybe branch out instead of calling steven universe problematic'#because a lot of the movies we watched depicted very 'problematic' things and were able to directly address them because they are for adults #(to clarify I didn't just like kids media before then. i just mean that it introduced me to some older stuff i didn't think I'd like)#(but i ended up liking a lot. it also made me realize that movies made today are kind of shit. which i also already knew)#(but it put it more into perspective because I have more to compare it to)#im rambling now. community college is pretty swag i enjoy it. and i do get along with the teachers who have crazy requirements too lol.

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anaalnathrakhs · 7 months

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i feel it's so fucking stupid and ungrateful but it still hurts a little when someone gifts me something i just don't like. i don't know. i know it's dumb and inaccurate to astrain that much meaning to a simple gift, but it feels kinda like they don't know me. i guess it feels like people don't see me, like a reminder that the person i reflect and the person i feel like are incredibly different.

#two fairly recent examples jump to mind #last year my class did a secret santa #the guy who got my name barely knew me so instead he asked our litterature teacher for tips #i was doing an effort to participate a lot in her classes and discuss stuff and i felt like she was an adult i could really trust #and adult who Gets It #and she picked just. the wrong gift. a classical philosophy essay.#stuff i hate reading. stuff i hate thinking about.#i said thank you to both of them and tried to read it during christmas break still. but i was right. i hated it.#and this year's christmas #recently i tried patching things up with my parents and we are a lot more communicative now #so they've opened up that my demand not to receive any gifts was painful to them #so we had an agreement: we write open-hearted letters to each other on christmas.#and they can gift me something if they'd like but no pressure if they don't find anything they feel would be a good gift #bc i myself opened up about the whole ''inaccurate gift'' thing being one of the reasons i dislike receiving stuff #and guess what. christmas comes. they got me a printed card from an artist whose work we saw at a local art thing earlier that year.#that artist does mainly either plants or nice architecture. stuff i love.#they picked the ONE work of hers that doesn't look like that. some reinterpretation of the great wave of kanagawa #a piece which i dislike with a passion for aesthetic reasons #i had promised i'd be honest if their gift missed the mark but tbh i couldn't. it's just an aesthetic thing it's completely begnin.#it's not like they spent lots or tried to pick something that was USEFUL #so i smiled and the picture is hanging with other stuff in my room #and i thanked them and i can't express how genuinely glad i am we have a better relationship #but man i felt my heart break a little under the tree in that moment #idk #i know it's silly but it makes me feel weird. and cold.#broadcasting my misery #vent

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hadesoftheladies · 6 months

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hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.

#mine #personal #brief storytime in the tags #one of my family friends got married and i was happy she was happy #her parents are like an aunt and uncle to me #i was happy to share that moment with them #we cried and laughed together #and my friends #their other daughters were on the line and looked gorgeous #it was just beautiful watching us all grow up in a way and move on to “the next” together #BUT #im a pastor's kid #and my dad loves weddings #he drinks them in whenever he can now especially because they make him happy and he's had to attend a lot more funerals this year #he's been burdened a lot by how many people he's had to bury and how many hospital visits he's had to do #so i was happy to see him happy too #it just all felt so bittersweet to me #because i know how badly my parents want this for me and for themselves #there was a daddy-daughters dance at some point and i could feel my dad beaming beside me watching that #and i was a little sad about it because i was like im never gonna give you that #this could be the best thing i could ever give you and i will never give you this #i can never kneel at an altar in front of a pastor and swallow that sermon #i would never marry a man in my generation #if i married a woman you and almost the entire tent filled with people that watched me grow up would not attend #my happiest day would be another funeral for you #it was worse because im kind of a small celebrity in this community because of my parents and their siblings who are politicians #so people i barely knew kept coming up and asking me when it would be my turn and how they so looked forward to the day #and i was like i love that we're a community here and i missed the pestering of aunts since i left church #but at the same time i was glad to remember why i left #there is no freedom to be myself at all with them because all they do is project their beliefs and ideas on me because that's what children

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shojoboy · 1 year

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Being Bisexual is sooo cool we can be any gender and be attracted to any gender any amount, we lovvvvve women and nonbinary people and men and even if we only ever date or fuck one of those we are still Bisexual. We aren't "half straight, half gay", because that's not how sexuality works. Sometimes it feels like we don't have our own community but tbh that's because, the Gay community? We in there. The Lesbian community? We in there. Trans community??? We in there!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!!

#bisexual #happy pride month i figured i get to make at least one bi post #as a bi person i still feel very shunted to the side sometimes lol #like it still feels...esp for women (because patriarchy world) that sayong your bi means you're saying that you like Men the most lol #altho on the reverse i think plenty of bi men r also treated like staright dudes ''trying to be cool'' which has it;s own origins #and also like. if ur lesbian or gay that comes with a Community and a history and everything and being Bi is like. oh you're there too lol?#even tho Bi people have ALWAYS been in both the Gay and Lesbian communities! it's just more obvious nowadays because in the past...#being openly ANYTHING was hard and obviously it was easier for cis bisexuals to like. pretend to be straight. or if they couldnt...#they could pretend to be gay or lesbian! like we had to be somewhere #and not everybody has the strength and fortitude to b openly Bi when both straights and queers will give you shit for it #anyway.#everything Gay or Lesbian is also Bi you are not missing out by being Bisexual. you can call yourself butch and femme you #can be a bear or a twink you can worship femininity worship masculinity do drag go to lesbian bars ETC #and to the youngsters who feel like they have to call themselves Pansexual because they r nonbinary or date trans people: you do not #Bi people are ALSO in the trans community! WE'RE EVERYWHERE #BI WORLD NO ESCAPE #YIPPEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!#-_-#pol

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thatneoncrisis · 2 months

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i think id like arcane like way more if it was a novelization

#ive been trying to gather my thoughts on this show for weeks i cant pinpoint how it misses the mark for me exactly #maybe its the large cast condensed into such a short amount of time?#but idk i felt like it implied heavily on insisting certain dynamics rather than actually developing them #like i kind of hate the time jump genuinely #i hate vi spending so much time in prison alone and angry and we dont get to like. see it #she just comes out as basically the same cocky cool girl with a soft interior #i kept joking about how she still had eyeliner on while locked away but thats not even really an issue its just like #shes following character beats. rather than BEING a character #the show needs her to bond with cait so they throw in a 'bandaging your wounds' scene and bam theyre in lesbians #it kind of shocked me how little time it felt like they had spent together. was it like two days #not even counting the time they were separated when they met ekko #and to be clear i feel like vis IMMEDIATE and intense attachement to a girl she literally just fucking met could be interesting #but the story doesnt sit with it #anyway uuuh idk i think there was just a lot of stories it needed to tell in a short amount of time #and i didnt become attached to any of them #they werent poorly told it just wasnt Enough i just always wanted More and dont have the energy to like #hyperanalyze a 2 second gif of vi breathing #simply put the show is not for me a book would basically deliver on the same story communicated with more intimacy

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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where is that post that is like 'if u were the girl he wanted communication would be easy for him' bc yeah... no matter how much u dont want it to be, it's true

#not me being the most dumb bitch alive thinking i was just being considerate and patient...#for 10 months 💀#and then being slapped in the face w a actually none of it mattered at all nearly enough as it did to u #and u were not even worthy of talking to or trying to communicate with or simply discussing any of it and our feelings #(which were only my feelings in the end)#and u were pathetically daydreaming and fantasizing and missing whatever 'it' was between us but i didnt really care #and it never mattered that much to me and idc to have had talked abt it and see if there was anything to off there #u were only worth being thrown away without even being told anything abt how i felt or was i was thinking #bc at the end of the day what was everything to u and what mattered so much to u was not even 1% as important to me #💀 legitimately i am dying !!!!#ig what hurts me the most that it was smth i was willing to fight for or talk abt to see if we were on the same page or were our heart lied #or like .. idk im just hurt at the fact that for him all of that was just smth to throw away. not even worthy of talking abt or simply #not even giving me a chance bc i know that time's running out but the fact that #he didnt even find it worthy enough to give a chance TALKING abt.#also what hurts me so fkn bad is that if i didnt force myself to go against my avpd and try to ask i wouldnt know anything #bc he doesnt tell me anything of that stuff and he didnt the first time either and im like #i truly am so pathetic letting someone have so much power over me just bc i love them and want them so bad #when im only a speckle of dust in their life #like ..... what is wrong with me? both bc why cant i ever be loved #EVERYBODY else always has someone!!!! i NEVER do!!! and like idk #and this is worse than a crush bc h actually talked to me and told me things and said things and it was real #(to me)#and then just stopped and i didnt know what i did and it could never be talked abt either and it just suckssssss #like why am i so fucking deeply and incredibly unlovable and worthless and not worth anything??????? not even a talk???? like wtf

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girls-and-honey · 6 months

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#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages #me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my #pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones #idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when #everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that #and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for #this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100%#myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too #and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for #networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and #then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first?#which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else #anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me #i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so)#oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like #alright that's it for now i think #gah emotions and whatnot #missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon #personal

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dovesnest · 4 months

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is this thing still on?

#i miss the community i used to have here #was reading my unanswered asks and feeling a bit happysad about it #we were all just strangers showing affection towards each other. we were girls together #nostalgia is a heavy door pushing me out. wish i had the strength to lock it #*

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