#i just finished the series again and i have THOUGHTS

[emchante]

OH another idea: cooking stream w max 😉 he’s wearing an apron with smt like “kiss the cook” but shirtless underneath, accidentally smearing sauce on his fingers and licking them clean, turning around to grab something from the cupboard and just showing off his back.. god i can go on and on about this

kiss the cock cook | m. verstappen

warnings: 18+/suggestive — minors dni.

DIIII OH MY GOD. you’re such a genius, your brain works in magical ways and i want to have it myself!!! the first post for this series went down well, so here you all go!!<3<3

one of the first few softcore porn streamer! max streams catch is a cooking stream. you know what his channel is now, after your first endeavour. you shouldn’t be surprised at what you see on the screen.

yet, you still are.

as soon as the ads finish rolling, the stream pops up on the screen. max is shirtless, under a dark apron. ‘kiss the cock’ is what’s written on it, but cock is scribbled off with a messy ‘cook’ above it. the apron allowed part of his soft chest to be on display. your eyes trailed down to see the apron wrapping around his soft hips perfectly, as the knot at the back held the apron together as tight as possible.

the camera angle was perfect— allowing you to see most of his top half, while leaving the rest to your imagination.

max knew his audience well, so he had an extra camera set up in the kitchen. it was a birds-eye view camera, a little box in the top right corner of the stream that was titled ‘hand cam’, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why it was there.

he was glancing at the chat as he put the ingredients for his cake in the large bowl. he smirked at some of the comments. “yes, i’m shirtless. no, i’m not trying to seduce you. my kitchen is hot, okay?” he tells the stream, acting innocent. if you really couldn’t tell though, the wink he gave the camera afterwards sold it.

he pondered for a moment before grabbing the camera above him, and moving it on the counter next to his bowl. “much better,” he muttered, before spreading his large hand across the bowl, as if to secure it. his other hand had an electric whisk, and he began to mix the ingredients together.

as he whisked, he glanced to the chat to see their reaction. he licked his lips before smirking, reading the comments as they came through. “i need him carnally.. this should be illegal..” he reads some, causing the influx of comments to worsen as they all try to be noticed by him. “max please.. please what, dear viewer? i need you to use your words for me,” he purrs, looking innocently into the camera.

the look he gives the camera sends a heat in your stomach. your thighs instinctively squeeze together at the sight, and your thoughts start racing. imagining him looking up at you like that, as you place yourself on his thighs. hands on his soft chest, pushing him down and telling him to use his words, finally switching the roles for once. how he’d deliciously beg and plead for you to—

fuck. what were you doing? you should not have been captivated so fast by him, but yet..

“anyways, i think that should be it mixed now,” max interrupts your internal conflict with his own words, turning off the whisk. he reaches out of from, and brings back another bowl. he tilts them both towards the camera to show the contents— cake batter in one, and thin icing in the other.

he eyes chat momentarily, smiling when the influx of ‘taste it!’ messages come flooding in. “you’re right, you’re right! i should taste it. how would i know if i liked what i made so far otherwise?” he questions, his index finger reaching into the first bowl.

he takes a scoop of the cake batter that looks entirely too appealing when it’s smeared along max’s finger. he slowly sucks it clean, pouty lips smacking gently when they touch again. his eyes flutter shut as a soft moan escapes from max, head tilting back.

“that is so fucking good, if only you guys could taste it,” he mumbles, licking any of the excess off of his lips as he reads the chat.

the heat in your belly was growing, the way he looked and the sounds he let out were amazing, and you needed more. you hadn’t chatted much in max’s chat, sending a few messages here and there. but tonight, you felt different. you needed more, and you were going to get it.

swallowing thickly you moved your hands to your keyboard, thinking about what you should type. your eyes scanned the screen.. and bingo. you knew what to do.

‘well you tried the batter, but what about the icing? just to be sure’

max is still reading over the chat when you send your message, and your heart skips a beat when you see his eyes widen. he stands up straight, looking into the camera with a small smirk.

“that’s a great idea, actually,” he praises, adding your username onto the end before he pulls the bowl of icing closer to him.

the icing was thin and white, from what you had seen when he showed the cameras. you watched as he plunged his index and middle finger into the bowl, pushing them right in before pulling them back out. the gooey icing dripped from the tip of his fingers, and had coated a thin layer over the rest of it.

he lifted his fingers to his mouth, stretching them to a ‘v’ shape as he licked through the middle of them. your cheeks flushed at the innuendo, and his chat clearly felt affected by it too judging by the spam. afterwards, he stared deep into the camera before pushing his fingers together, running his tongue along them in stripes to lick them clean.

his hand fell back to the counter as he swallowed thickly, before a low groan came from his throat. “fuck— that icing is amazing,” he starts, head lightly tilting back. “it’s perfectly sweet,” he adds, licking his lips clean as he reads the chat.

your heart was still racing at the look he was giving the camera, as well as the fact he had done as your message had said. your luck on his streams was unbelievable.. maybe you should start chatting more.

after that, max had went back to preparing the cupcakes in their cases that were sat in the tray. you had zoned out admittedly, not from the stream itself, just.. the baking aspect. you were more so focused on his large arms, watching them flex as he consistently moved around. your eyes were also glued to his chest, especially when he leaned over to read something from the book. the apron hung low as he did so, giving you a deeper look into his soft chest.

it didn’t take long for your attention to be peaked again, as max clapped his hands together, stating he was getting them ready for the oven.

“so, i have already preheated the oven,” he began to explain as he leaned over to his computer, messing about on obs. he stopped talking as he fixed what he needed to, and the next minute the main camera angle had switched— now, instead of the camera on the tripod, the main camera was the one on the counter initially used as the hand cam. now though, it was sat so it faced the right side of the kitchen, which included the oven.

“so no need to wait for that,” he finally finished, looking into the camera and giving it a smile before he stood up straight, grabbing the tray. he turned around and walked towards the oven slowly, as if he knew what he was doing.

max’s chat— and your internal thoughts— went back to their thirsting ways as max’s defined, toned back was on display. the comments honestly could’ve came from your mind, as they were along the same lines. ‘i need to scratch down his back’, ‘that back is looking a little bare.. let me fix that’, just to name a couple.

max stopped in his tracks, doing a 180 and walking back towards the counter. “oops, i forgot how long to put them in for,” he muttered, a small smile on his face that gave away his lies. it was obvious what he was doing, he simply just wanted to see the thirsty reactions. and god, did he get them.

“glad you’re all enjoying the view today,” he speaks up, turning back towards the oven and walking towards it, giving the fans what they wanted. then, he bent down towards the oven, giving the camera a perfect view of his curvy ass as he placed the tray in the oven. as he pulled the oven door back down, he pushed himself out further as a tease for the camera, before standing up straight again.

“it’s free today, you know,” he continues, referring to his last comment about the view. “but tomorrow? who knows,” he sighs, eyes scanning his chat as they burst into desperate pleads for him to keep slutting himself out for free.

max had decided to cut the stream off for a break while the cupcakes baked in the oven. he leaned against the counter, arms in front of him causing his chest to push together and you couldn’t keep your eyes off it.

“i’ll be back later, don’t you worry about that,” he reassures any worrying viewers with a wink. “thank you for joining, everyone. i’d say don’t forget to kiss the cook— but none of you can,” he pouted, before blowing you a kiss. “least you could do is send me a sub,” he adds cheekily, standing up straight. he begins to untie the knot from the back of the apron, causing the apron’s strings to drop to the side.

your eyes widened as he began to slowly lift the apron off of himself, allowing the viewers to see his soft body on display. his chat went crazy— from comments about grabbing his love handles, to marking his chest, to wanting to explore that happy trail— everyone enjoyed the view.

conveniently the countertop covered his boxers, therefore nobody could see there or below.

“i’ll be back later for you all, hopefully ready to show my cupcakes,” he smiles, reading the chat one last time.

‘what about your cake, max?’ is the last message he reads, causing him to burst out laughing.

“if we reach the big sub goal, maybe something can be arranged,” he teases, before the stream abruptly cuts off.

⋆˙⟡ enjoy this? i hope you did! please come chat to me about it in my ask box! publicly or on anon— i’ll answer everything <3

[loveesiren]

Baby Daddy (Pt. 1)

Rafe Cameron x Reader

A/n: Wrote this a while back and got a lot of requests for a part 2 so I will post it as well! Along with a blurb I've written. Never really planned to make this a series but if you guys want more just let me know! :)

Warnings: Light smut, language, cocaine, angst, pregnancy, mention of abortion, fluff at the end

Word Count: 2.7k+

Rafe thrusted into you one final time before finishing. Cumming deep inside of you for the fourth time tonight. "Fuckkkkk," He moaned before pulling out of you and laying on his back. "You're so fucking tight."

"Yep," You said dryly as you pulled your panties and shorts back on.

"Where are you going?" Rafe asked as he turned to look at you.

"Uhhh, home?" You tell him. "Why would I stay?"

"Whatever," Rafe said before rolling over and pouring a line of coke out on his night stand.

You rolled your eyes and grabbed your bag before leaving his room and storming through the house out the front door.

The walk home was boring. You put your headphones in and slowly danced your way back to the Chateau. As you did every fucking night.

After your mom split and John B's dad went missing you were John B's legal guardian. You were step siblings but his dad raised you when your mom left and for that you were forever grateful. Even though you were a little older, you were really close with John B and his friends. You guys did everything together. Told eachother everything. Except for this.

You'd been sleeping with Rafe for 6 months now. It all started after a Christmas party last December. You were working your shift at the club, way more tipsy than you should have been for being on the clock. A drunk Rafe Cameron started talking you up and you flirted back. The boy was handsome enough. Granted, he was a fucking dick. But you just wanted to get off.

He took you into the bathroom on your break and absolutely rocked your world. No one had ever made you cum like he did. The way you could feel yourself release around his cock made you both fucking dissolve into the earth.

From that day forward, you guys fucked constantly. But you never told a soul and neither did he. Kooks and Pogues don't hook up.

______________

Your eyes flickered open. "Ugh," You groaned as you tried to sit up. You were in your room, Kiara asleep next to you. She slept with you every night since her parents kicked her out. She was your closest girlfriend.

A wave of nausea washed over you and you hopped out of bed and booked it to the bathroom. You expelled the contents of your stomach into the toilet. Gasping for air in between heaves.

"Are you okay?" Kiara was at the door now, crouching beside you to hold your hair back.

"Must be the flu," You said before vomiting again. "I didn't even drink last night."

"Alright let me get you some water and a pillow. You're probably gonna stay in here today."

You rested by the toilet and drank your water but by 11am you were feeling 100%.

You walked out into the kitchen and greeted everyone.

"Don't get us sick," John B said, stepping back from you.

"I feel fine now," You said. "I'm actually hungry!"

Sarah and Kiara eyed you for a moment. "Y/N?"

"Yeah?" You said as you popped some waffles in the toaster.

"Are you pregnant?" Kie asked.

You paused for a moment. You and Rafe never used condoms. And had you been taking your birth control lately? You were always bad at taking meds.

"Aha, no. No way." You responded.

John B, JJ, and Pope sat awkwardly.

You looked to the floor as you pressed your hand to your stomach. Thoughts racing through your head as you tried to remember the last time you had your period. "Fuck."

"Do you have a secret lover?" Sarah teased.

"John B, give me the keys to the Twinkie." You demanded.

John B fished them out of his pocket and handed them to you and you rushed out the door.

"Y/N, where are you going?!" Kiara called after you but you ignored her.

You hopped into the van and drove off quickly. When you pulled up to the drug store you ran inside and and bought five pregnancy tests and a gallon of water.

You leaned back in your seat and sighed after chugging as much water as you could.

You considered texting Rafe but you voted against it. You needed to be sure.

You drove back to the Chateau, grocery bag in hand as you locked yourself in the bathroom.

Two hours later you were standing over the counter, staring at the five plus signs set before you.

You couldn't help but cry. "Fuck..."

"Y/N?" You heard Sarah and Kie outside your door. You leaned back and swallowed. You had no idea what to do but telling a friend might be a good start.

You open the door and yank them into the bathroom. "Y/N! What's going on?" Sarah asks.

You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh before nodding your head towards the bathroom counter.

Sarah and Kie look at eachother before slowly walking towards where the five pregnancy tests sat. Five. And they were all positive.

"Oh shit, Y/N..." Sarah said.

Kiara swallowed. "Uhm...is this like a congratulations or a 'we need to go to the clinic right now' situation?"

"I don't know," You said, joining them by the sink. "I should probably talk to...to..him." Your eyes fell to your feet.

"Who, Y/N?" Kiara asked. "We can take you there, we're here for you."

You laugh and throw your head back.

"Y/N...Who is he?" Sarah asks.

You bite your lip as you look down to meet her eyes.

She was confused and concerned. She wanted to help but her and Kie were both nervous about what was going on.

"Rafe," You said softly, barely a whisper.

Kiara and Sarah looked at you with wide eyes. "Wait..Rafe? My brother?? Rafe's the dad?!" Sarah was practically screaming now.

"Shhhh!" You said as you ran and covered her mouth. "Yes, it's Rafe's okay! Can we please not scream it to the whole world?!"

Sarah was silent as you backed away from her.

"Since when have you been fucking Rafe Cameron?!" Kiara asks.

"Y/N, he's a piece of shit!" Sarah added.

"Okay, listen! We've been hooking up since Christmas and...I don't know. I thought it was a one time thing but it just kept happening."

"Is that where you go every night?!" Sarah asked.

You sigh and press your tongue to your inner cheek. "Yeah."

"So you're fucking my brother," Sarah scoffs.

"You're fucking mine!" You hiss back.

Sarah rolls her eyes and shrugs. "Touche. But Rafe's a fucking dick!"

"Yeah, I'm aware." You sigh as you lean back and sink to the floor. "Should I even tell him?"

"He'd wanna know," Sarah said softly. "As much as I hate him, he loves hard."

You feel your phone buzz and pull it from your pocket. "Fuck, it's Rafe."

You coming over tonight?

"I can't do this." You begin to cry, placing your head on your knees. "Rafe doesn't even care about me. I'm just pussy to him."

"I don't know, Y/N...He's always sucked at showing his true feelings."

You shake your head before Sarah can say anything else. You grab your phone and respond.

No. We shouldn't see each other anymore.

You hesitate but press send. It breaks your heart but you know this is the right thing.

Your phone buzzes again but you ignore it.

"I'm gonna call the clinic," You say as you excuse yourself from the bathroom and go sit on the porch, lighting up a cigarette.

Your fingers hover over the screen of your phone, not being able to bring yourself to do it.

"Fuck this!" You yell as you toss your phone across the patio.

"Y/N-"

"What John B?!"

"Are you okay?"

You were pacing now, taking drags off your cigarette as you tried to catch your breath.

"You shouldn't be smoking." John B says.

You turn to look at him. "Doesn't matter," You mutter.

"You're pregnant." John B states. You turn to look at him again. Annoyed the Kie and Sarah said anything. "And no, Kie and Sarah didn't tell me. I'm just not stupid."

You sit down and sigh, dragging your cigarette again.

Your phone continues to buzz from the other side of the porch. John B goes to pick it up. When you notice him staring at it you quickly snatch it from his hands.

"Rafe?" His voice is almost a whisper.

You sigh as you take your bottom lip between your teeth. "Yeah." You respond.

You look down at your phone to see the five messages Rafe had sent you.

What? What do you mean? Why?

Y/N, I'm sorry I was a dick last night.

Please talk to me.

I'm sorry...

I need to talk to you. Please.

"Are you gonna tell him?" John B asks.

You put your head in your hands as you try to choke back tears. You had not intended to find out you were pregnant today. Nor were you prepared for your brother and all your friends to find out you'd been fucking Rafe Cameron. It was all too overwhelming.

"I don't know," You respond honestly.

John B sighs. "Look, never been a fan of Rafe. I had no clue you two were.....close." He says, motioning towards your stomach. "But I think you should think about it a little more and talk to him before you make a final decision."

You chewed on his words for a moment before nodding in agreement.

_________

You locked yourself in your room for the rest of the night. Curled up under the covers as your phone continued to vibrate.

Nonstop calls and texts from Rafe. Since when has he cared so much? He was probably just coked out and horny.

You decided to shut your phone off. He'd have to find another girl to get his dick wet. Sex was the last thing you wanted right now.

You cried yourself to sleep that night, completely unsure of what to do.

The next three days were awful. Throwing up all morning, crying all afternoon. Your friends tried to be there for you but you continued to barricade yourself in your room. You'd come out once in a while to grab some food and water and instantly go back to your bed, binge watching Jersey Shore on your lap top under the covers.

You'd kept your phone off. You really just couldn't bring yourself to talk to anyone right now. And the people you would need to talk to were right outside the door.

_______

"Oh shit," Sarah said as she stood up from her spot on the porch, getting a better view of Rafe's truck pulling up to the Chateau.

The rest of the Pogues stood up too, not fully prepared to handle this situation.

"John B!" Rafe said as he hopped out of his truck. "John B, look man, I don't have any beef with you, alright? I just really need to see Y/N."

"She's not feeling great right now, man." John B responded.

Kiara slipped away and rushed to your bedroom.

You heard knocking on your door and you groaned. "What?"

"Y/N, uhm..." Kiara begins.

"What is it, Kie? I'm sleeping."

"Rafe's here."

Your chest tightens at her words.

"I don't-I don't think he's going to leave without seeing you, Y/N."

"Fuck me!" You whisper as you pinch the bridge of your nose. "I'll be out in a second!"

Kiara goes back to where Rafe and John B are arguing on the porch. "She'll be right out."

The boys shut up and look at her.

"Thank you." Rafe said.

You hop out of bed and open your door. The light of day almost blinding as your eyes adjusted. You instantly missed the dark warmth of your bed.

You slowly make your way to the porch. Your plaid pajama shorts clung loosely to your hips while your tank top hugged you tightly. Your hair was a wavy mess. You hadn't done anything to it in days. But you really couldn't care less at this point.

You shyly step outside. Rafe's eyes flicker to you, a small smile on his lips before taking in your appearance. Concern instantly washing over his face. "Y/N, are you okay?" He asked, taking a step closer to you and reaching for your hands.

You quickly pull away from him and he frowns. "Uhm, could you guys give us a minute?" You ask the group. They all nod hesitantly and head inside.

"Why are you here, Rafe?" You ask once the two of you are alone.

"I haven't heard from you in days. I-I got worried."

You sighed and looked down to your feet.

"Look, Y/N, I'm really sorry I've been such a dick. I'm trying to quit the blow it's just so hard, ya know?"

"It's fine, Rafe. I knew what this was from the beginning." You shrug.

"I like you." He admits. You look up at him. "I like you a lot. I suck at showing it and I get why you're probably sick of me. But I need you to know you're more than just sex to me."

"W-what do you mean?" You ask confused.

Rafe lets out a slow, shaky breathe and scratches the back of his head. "I'm not good at...at showing emotions," He begins. "I don't like being vulnerable. That's why I do coke, I guess. I've just-I've never been good at the whole feelings thing and I just really didn't know how to tell you how I really felt. But when you said you didn't want to see me anymore...." He trails off, looking down to meet your gaze. "I-it hurt me..."

Your expression softens and you give him a sympathetic smile.

"And if you don't want to see me anymore, I get it. I just wanted to tell you-"

You cut him off by wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning your head into his chest. He was stunned for a moment but moved to wrap his arms around you tightly, nuzzling his face into your messy hair.

"I like you too, Rafe." You admit. "And I don't want to stop seeing you. I was just scared. There is something we need to talk about..."

"Anything, sweetheart," He says as he runs his fingers up and down your spine.

You swallow and squeeze your eyes shut. "Rafe, I'm pregnant." The words leave your lips without warning and you brace yourself for whatever is coming next.

Rafe stops moving. Your body tenses as you still cling to him. After a moment, he places his hands on your shoulders and pulls you back to look at him. "What did you say?"

"I-I'm pregnant. I was going to call the clinic but I thought I should talk to you about it first and I'm sorry I ignored you the last few days I just-"

Rafe starts shaking his head. "No, no, no, no, no, baby, shhhh." He says. "I just uhm...do you want to keep it?" He asks nervously.

"I-I mean...I've just never really thought about being a mom before."

"We can move you to Tannyhill," Rafe starts. "And I'll tell my dad I need more work and we'll save up and Wheezie can babysit and-"

"Rafe!" You stop him. You can't help but laugh. "Are you saying you want to keep it? I was only going to call the clinic because I thought you wouldn't want to..."

"Yes, yes!" He says, picking you up and twirling you around. When he sets you back down he takes your face between his hands and kisses you deeply. The kiss was passionate, filled with love, unlike the hungry make out sessions that usually stole your nights.

"I'm gonna be a dad!" Rafe yelled as he jumped off the porch, full of energy.

You laughed, tears of joy filling your eyes as you heard the Pogues come back out on the porch. This went way better than you had expected.

"I take it that went well?" John B asks as he watches Rafe run around in excitement.

"I don't think I've ever seen Rafe so happy before," Sarah chuckles beside you.

"Whoo! Okay!" Rafe says as he comes back over to you, practically out of breath. He gets on his knees and places kisses along your stomach. "I'm taking you to lunch. What do you want to eat? You can have whatever you want, baby, on me."

"Rafe," You laugh, running your fingers through his hair as he keeps his lips pressed to your belly. "Can I at least shower first?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course baby. You wanna shower here? Or we could go to my house,"

"Oh God, please go to Tannyhill." Sarah says, the rest of the group agreeing with her. "This here is a shared shower."

You laugh. "Let me just grab some things and we can go,"

"Okay," Rafe agrees, smiling as he watches you disappear into the Chateau.

"You gonna take care of her? And that baby?" John B asks as he stands next to Rafe.

"Definitely," Rafe responds. "She has no idea how happy she makes me. But I'm gonna show her."

John B nods and offers a small smile.

"Ready!" You say as you come back out, duffle bag over your shoulder.

Rafe takes it from you immediately and goes to put it in his truck.

"Congratulations," John B says, pulling you into a hug.

"Thanks, JB," You smile. "I'll call you later, okay? Stay out of trouble!" You command as you walk towards the truck.

"Aye-aye," He says, saluting you.

You smile as Rafe helps you into the passenger seat. "You ready to go, Mama?" He asks, brushing his hand over your still flat stomach.

You smirk at the gesture. "Definitely."

Tags: @torturedtypewritersdept @bigenergy777 @outerbankspov @purplerose291 @shayofandoms @mirellef2001

[stevesgother]

Little Red Lighthouse - S.H

Pairing - Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Warnings - exes to lovers, second chance romance, angst, slow burn, hurt/comfort, idiots in love, so much pining, cursing, alcohol & drug use, mental health themes

WC - 1.3k

AN - this was originally gonna be a super long oneshot, but in typical emma fashion I'm making it into another mini series

Divider by the amazing @strangergraphics <3

The Alcott. That was your favorite bar in Hawkins; and it was all you could think about sitting outside this shitty bar in Chicago. A mere few hours from home, and yet entirely too far. Just having finished school; it was an education completely orchestrated by your parents. A college you didn’t want to attend, a degree you had no enthusiasm for.

This was how you seemed to be spending most of your days post-undergrad: sulking and ruminating. Everything you could’ve had, but don’t.

–

“Steve, this is insane. That’s like a 15 foot drop!” 

You say as you peer over the bridge, shivering slightly in just your underclothes. It was only the cusp of Spring, the weather in Indiana hardly what you would consider “warm”.

“Oh c’mon. You said you would!” He barked a laugh.

“I told my mother that if you jumped off a bridge that I would too as a hypothetical.” You deadpan, even though a smile still tugs the corners of your mouth.

He looked lovely, always did. Moles adorning his cheeks, scattering their way down his back and into his boxers where your vision couldn’t reach. He shot you a grin only reserved for you.

“3..2..1 JUMP!”

“Wait!-”

Steve gripped your hand, pulling you down with him into the icy water below the bridge. Unable to decipher if the sinking feeling in your gut was from the rapid fall of his skin on yours. The shock of the bitterly cold water knocked the wind out of you.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” His smile gleaming at you. Water dripped from his eyelashes, beading on the apples of his cheeks.

 “It’s freezing!” you gasp as you surface. He starts to grip your shoulders in his warm hands, then pauses. A sudden nervousness settled and he was staring. You nervously wondered if there was something else in the water with you both. He never broke his stare. Your best friend for a million lifetimes, beautiful as ever. Looking at you as if you hung the moon just for him.

“I think I'm in love with you.”

–

When Steve finally peeled open his eyes and glanced at the blinking red of the alarm clock it read ‘3:00 PM’. His breath tasted of stale liquor as he slowly rose from his unmade bed. Skull pounding, he blindly reached for the painkillers he had made a habit of keeping on his nightstand, for afternoons like this.

Your old friend group planned a ‘welcome home’ party in anticipation for your return to Hawkins. Where you had gone to college out of state and made a new life for yourself, Steve hadn’t seemed to be able to keep his ahead above the violent current that was the trauma he endured here, in your hometown.

As you rested on the train back to Indiana, walkman in hand, you felt an air of nausea.You had started to regret leaving your car at your parents house 4 years ago; unsure whether the knot you felt in your gut was the result of motion sickness, or the thought of having to face him again.

Admittedly you were excited to see your friends again. You hadn’t come home for Christmas, for Thanksgiving, not even for summer breaks – always opting to stay as far away from that living nightmare as possible. You told yourself little lies. That it wasn’t because Steve Harrington still resided there, and with him, everything you lost. Everything you know you can never get back.

The air in Steve’s office was stiff and smelled of stale coffee. Robin sits in a less than lady-like position across from him in a chair unofficially designated for her. A plaque that reads “Chief” sat crooked between them from where Robin had set down the paper bag containing their lunch.

“You’re going to have to face her at some point, Steve.” Her voice snaps him out of his dissociative state.

“Yeah, I got it.” He sighs irritably, all traces of enthusiasm drained from his tone.

“I’m just saying,” she starts, “it's been 4 years. I’m sure she’s moved on, man. No bad blood.” It’s meant to be reassuring, but she doesn’t understand that that's entirely the problem. He gives her a skeptical stare. “Look, we’ll all be there. You have a ton of buffer people. Just stop by for a few minutes? For me?” The childish pout she gives in an attempt to guilt-trip is enough to push him over the edge.

“Rob- okay, fine. Stop making that face. For an hour. Not a second longer.” He points a finger at her, not unkindly.

–

As your car crunches over the gravel in the parking lot of Robin’s apartment complex, you can’t help but notice it’s already filled with cars despite you being perfectly on time. All the windows you knew belonged to her unit were lit a glowing yellow behind sheer curtains, allowing you glimpses of mingling silhouettes. You wonder briefly if this was intentional, or if in your never-ending brain fog, you managed to jumble the times.

A quick glance around the lot reveals that your friends still have the same cars they did all those years ago. Jonathan’s Ford LTD, Nancy’s Volkswagen Cabrio, and an achingly familiar maroon BMW 733i. Your heart jumps to your throat when you see it, accompanied by a sharp twist of betrayal in your chest as you don’t recall Robin ever mentioning he would be here. You suppose you can’t blame her.

You stop to take several deep breaths at the front door. You can hear the bass of an old, classic tune bumping inside and you try to time your breathing with it. In three, hold three, out three, and repeat. You raise your fist to knock before thinking it silly, so you just give the knob a tentative twist and walk in.

The room erupts in ‘Hey!’’s and ‘There she is!’’s. It’s a relief to realize they don’t hate your guts, even though they’ve always made it clear that they don’t. A nauseating guilt settles over you as you’re reminded of how long you’ve left them with barely any word from you at all– the pain of this town and everything that happened in it just too much to bear; even if they were your best friends.

Back then, talking to them sounded like long, mucousy vines that strangled and trapped. It sounded like the bitter cold and emptiness of your hometown mirrored just beneath your feet. It sounded like watching chunks of flesh be ripped from your boyfriend’s skin. It sounded like his screams for your help and you just couldn’t– you needed time.

Now though, as they wrap you in hugs and you smell the homey scent of your best friends apartment, it feels less like then and more like now. Over Nancy’s shoulder, slightly obscured by her usually wild curls, you catch the eye of the one person not dogpiling you, and fight the grimace threatening to surface. You don’t hate Steve, not by any sense of the word– you just can’t look at his stupid, beautiful face without remembering what you did to him.

When everyone disperses, satisfied with their greetings, you can really take in Steve’s appearance in front of you. The years haven’t been unkind to him, but he looks tired. Day old, maybe two, stubble shadows his usually bright face. He fills out the red sweater and light wash Levi’s he wears nicely. You think he’ll always have that boyish Harrington charm, but he looks more like a man than when you left him.

You walk towards him hesitantly.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

[sturniolo04]

Panic Attack M.S.

Bf!Matt x Gf!Fem!Reader

A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)

You were never the anxious type. For as long a s you could remember you didn't have anxious bone in your body. You constantly carried yourself with pure joy, contentment, and happiness. So, when you started dating Matt, you couldn't always relate and understand the anxious and sometimes depressive highs and lows he would go through but being his girlfriend, you really tried to understand and help as best as you could through the lows especially when they got really low.

This brings you to now, you are currently sitting on the couch in your apartment next to Matt, studying for another medical exam you have to take to pass this class to get you one step to majoring and having a career as a pediatrician, it being your dream, since your mom is one and you always looked up to her. You let out what you thought was a normal deep breath.

"you okay"

matt asks simply glancing over to you.

"yeah why wouldnt I be"

you slightly giggle out as Matt shakes his head playfully.

"no reason"

he replys shrugging his shoulders fixating his attention back on his computer in front of him.

" i mean i am almost done with studying I am going to get through this exam I think"

you hesitantly squeal out not being fully aware of the toll the work was getting to you and your mental state just yet.

"okay thats good im glad you feel confident about it. Are you ready to take a break and go get lunch."

matt asks as you huff out and agreement as he stands up and extends his hand out to you to help you get off of the couch.

You two hopped into his car and headed to a Chickfila to get lunch.

"you want to go in or drive thru"

matt as you two were stopped at the red light before the left turn in the parking lot. You were fixates on scrolling through a series of exams and essays you had no idea were even on your plate to complete within the next couple of months before the fall semester is over.

"baby"

matt stated gaining your attention back to reality.

"huh oh yeah um drive thru actually"

you speak up trying to forget about what you saw on your phone and that you were beginning to freak out due to the fact you have yet to write the first sentence of.

"okay are you here with me"

matt chuckles out as he reaches over running his palm on your leg in the passenger seat as he pulls up to the ordering screen in the drive thru.

"yeah sorry i just didnt realize i had more essays to write otherwise I would have said we could go in but"

you simply state out as matt start rubbing you thigh comfortably, already sensing a little bit of overwhelm that was completely going unnotice by his very own girlfriend.

"yeah its okay i get that we will get our food and head back to your place and get them done okay"

he reassures as you sigh out again.

"plus we also still have dinner with Chris Nick and Madison Beer so and that's not until later so we will still go out to eat today"

he chuckles out as he places his hand to thread through your head as you hum out in contentment.

Time Skip

you guys had made it back to your apartment with lunch and you two were sitting at the table you neatly placed in the kitchen area. You were hyperfocused on starting the essays going into hyper focus completely forget the concept of time.

"baby its time to get ready dinner is at 7pm"

matt speaks up as he closes his computer and stands up from his seat head over to you placing his hands on your shoulders, lovingly.

" matt i have to finish these essays though can we-"

you whine out slowly looking up at him.

"can we reschedule or cancel tonight"

you question sheepishly as matt begins to chuckle.

"baby no we haven't been out of the house since early this afternoon and it 5:50pm, plus it will be fun"

he persuades and reasons with you. You agreed and headed up to your room to get dressed for dinner tonight *outfit reference* As you were getting ready you felt this constant strain on your chest which again was abnormal for your so you simply blow it off considering it was probably nothing.

"you ready"

att simply asks you as you finally made your way back downstairs, sensing that same feeling of overwhelm and anxiousness on you that he sensed earlier that day.

"ye-yeah just was feeling like some tightness in my chest but I am ready lets go"

you quickly reply out, grabbing your shoes so you can put them on in the car.

"are you sure that it was nothing"

matt asks you again showing his concern of you not acknowledging you being stressed over the essays and exams you have yet to finish and study for before the semester is over in 2 months.

"yeah i promise im okay"

you simply replied ad you and him walked out the door.

Time Skip

You and Matt connected with Nick Chris and Madison at the restaurant and everything was great. You guys were catching up on everything that was going on in life which kind of allowed you to forget all about your essay and exam you had yet to finish and study for for a little bit.

"so how has med school been"

Madison asks you, shifting the conversation.

"yeah its going for sure"

you huff out as the tightness slightly returning back in your chest at the very thought and mention of school. as if school couldn't get any better you get a notification on your phone that was saying that basically your professor is deciding to have grades finalized this upcoming month instead of the following month after the next month and its march 30th already.

You start feeling like the walls were closing in on you as if you were stuck in a box and couldn't find a way out. You begin to feel the tightness in your chest become more apparent making it hard to breathe to the point where you couldn't seem to get any air in or out of your body and lungs.

"hey you okay"

Chris ask from across the table noticing you place a hand on your chest as if to make sure your alive.

"hey let's go outside for a minute yeah"

matt calmly suggests knowing exactly whats happening and because he didn't want everyone in the restaurant to focus their attention towards you. You nodded you head barely giving him the approval for him to guide you outside in the parking lot.

"i-i matt"

you shakily strain out as you place a shaky on the brick wall of the exterior of the restaurant to help you sit on the floor.

"hey hey"

matt soothes walking over to you.

"tell me whats going on"

"i i cant breathe matt w-whats happening to me"

you exclaims uncontrollably sobbing, as matt kneels in front of you placing his forehead on your bring one of your hands to his chest to give you the awareness that you were still alive and that he was there with you.

"yes you can. Youre having a panic attack love its okay match my breathing"

He softly speaks as he begins inhaling and exhaling deeply, as you slowly follow along.

"there you go"

he whispers seeing your normal state of breathing return to normal, he moves from kneeling to sit next you.

"that was really scary thats never happened to me before"

you softly speak out as you lean your head on his shoulder.

"yeah i think school caught up to you didn't it"

he questions as you slightly sigh and nod you head not daring to speak on that topic currently.

"can we just go home i want to get some sleep"

you calmly ask, looking up at matt.

"of course lets go tell everyone bye then"

he replies helping you to stand up.

"hey are you okay"

nick asks you softly

"yeah"

you softly let out.

"i think we are going to head out she's not feeling the best so I am going to take her to get some rest"

matt chimes in as he brings you into his side rubbing your arm softly.

"aw okay we will see you guys soon its okay"

madison replies getting up and hugging the pair along with chris and nick following.

"feel better and we will see you at home I guess matt right"

chris states and asks.

"maybe i will text you if i end up staying at her place"

matt simply replies to his brother.

"fine by us"

nick chimes in as you two finally leave and get in the car.

You guys barely even made it out of the parking lot before you were already fast asleep in the passenger seat.

Taglist

@dirtylittleheart333 @mintsturniolo @wh0resstuff@ @spicymuffins03 @ksturnz @stayingstromboli @emely9274

[littlespacereader]

Hi!!!!!!

Could you do an autistic Little gn y/n with Remus and Sirius Cgs! 🥺 and like a hurt/comfort/ overstimulation kinda story plot, or maybe bullying situation 😅🥰

@shadowlord23 AHHHHHHHH!!!! Amazing request!! My heart!🥺🥹😭😭😭💞💞 First of all I love Remus and Sirius so much!! I might make this a series with how much I enjoyed writing this!! Plus the prompt itself is so adorable🥹💞I hope you don’t mind this this fic focuses more on Remus, but I promise you if you send me another request I will make it around the two home for the holidays! I sincerely hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you for the request @shadowlord23 ! Love ya bestie! 💞

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!🦃🍂🍁

Holiday Break🚂🍂

Caregiver! Remus Lupin and GN Little! Reader (SFW!)

Tags - bullying, thumb sucking, hurt/comfort, cuddles, hugs, hand holding

Remus would like to think of himself as not your average Professor. He likes to have fun, steer from the textbook and be more hands on with his students. But more than anything he prides himself of looking out for them, making sure they pass yeah, but more than anything that they’re having a good time in his class.

The holiday break is right around the corner. And with it, finals season. So with the stressful atmosphere, Remus made sure to keep a careful eye on one of his students in particular.

One student peaks his interest. Y/N, in (you fav house). They don’t make eye contact much and they’re more on the quiet side, but they’re always paying attention, always so engaged with the class and the subject despite the early morning hours.

They never asked questions durning the class, always saving their comments for him privately after the rest of the students let out. Their pure excitement for the subject always brings a smile to his face.

Occasionally they may be drawing in their notebook occasionally, or playing with a fidget toy, but Remus always knew it’s their way of focusing on him and his lecture.

But with this he noticed they were picked on by other students, specifically those in Slytherin. Comments here and there, occasionally a small shove when they left the class.

When he saw it, he always called it out, feeling a protectiveness for the kind and gentle student. There was something about them getting picked on, that made the hair on the back is his neck stand up.

He thought he had put an end on it. But he was sadly mistaken…

It was late, far later than anyone should really be up. But Remus was hard at work grading the last of his papers before the holiday break. He didn’t want to bring his work home again. He wanted a nice quiet holiday break, at home with his husband by his side.

He’s already received three letters from his husband today. Just from the sheer number, he could tell Sirius was just as eager to have him home as he was.

The letters entailed the details of what they had to do when he got home, all the holiday errands they had to go on, and the details to his train ride:

I’ll meet you at the station my darling.

See you soon,

Sirius♡

He couldn’t wait…not for the shopping but for being back home. But now? He had a stack of papers to finish grading. He sat at his desk at the head of the class. Dim candle lights lit the quiet classroom as a tired Remus worked though the late night ours.

Suddenly there’s a commotion down the hallways. At this hour? He thought to himself. He stood from his desk listening closely. It sounds like…running.

Before his mind could wonder more the door to his classroom swim open and close fast. There, a panting Y/N presses their back to the door.

“Y/N?” Remus heart drops at the sight of the scared student. Immediately he stands from his desk and rounded it, his arms opening to them.

With tears falling down their face, they ran down the row of desk and into his arms, clinging to him like a lifeline.

Immediately Remus engulfs them into a hug, wrapping his arms around the shaking student. “Y/N, my dear what’s going on? What’s got you so scared?”

The problem was Y/N was beyond words, instead settling for crying in Remus arms, unable to express themselves yet.

Remus tries his best to wrap his head around what’s happening while also comforting the crying student. “You’re okay, I’ve got you, you’re safe now.”

Before he comes to the conclusion of what’s going on, he heard voices in the hallway:

“Where did the baby go?”

“We couldn’t have lost them! They’re not that fast.”

“They probably went in the classroom like last time! Come on!”

The door to his classroom swung he open once again. He felt Y/N hide tighter against him as four students, the same year as Y/N, run into the room in the hopes of finding them alone. They were sadly mistaken.

The two Slytherins, one Ravenclaw and Gryffindor freeze seeing the defense against the dark arts teacher standing comforting a crying Y/N.

Before they could turn to run, Remus calls out to them in a stern voice, “Not another step! Take a seat, all of you this instant or I will have each of your headmasters here.”

He feels Y/N hold onto him a little tighter as the bullies enter the classroom and take a seat at different desk, grumbling as the do so.

He glared at the students, his heart pumping with fury. How long has this been going on? But hearing the small sniffles of the student in his arms, he knew he had to take charge of the situation.

“Y/N,” he say gently, kneeling down to meet their teary eyes, “I want you to go in my quarters and wait for me. I’ll be in there in a minute okay?” He smiles, caressing their face.

But he could see the hesitation in their eyes, the vulnerable uncertainty. “I…’m sorry.”

Remus sighs shaking his head, “You are not in any trouble darling. I just want you to stay safe while I deal with the others. But you are in no trouble what so ever.”

They nod back to him, sticking their thumb in their mouth to soothe them more. But he didn’t think twice of the action, if anything it was making things fall into place with Y/N.

He stands taking their hand, “Just that door right there,” he points to the door towards the back of the classroom, “I’ll be there in the blink of an eye.” He smirked back down to them with a small wink.

With a small pat to their back they go off to Professor Lupin’s quarters, giving him once last glance. He smile again, giving them a nod of encouragement. They nod back, grabbing the doorknob and entering his quarters.

The moment that door closes, Remus’ smile drops. He turns his attention to the bullies, prepared to sink his teeth into their behavior…metaphorically speaking of course.😅

~~~

Walking into Professor Lupin’s quarters and closing the door behind me, everything starts to settle down. The pressure of everything dies down along with the noise.

It’s my fault really. I shouldn’t have gone out after dark…I knew they’d find me again….

But now I had someone to protect me this time, I didn’t need to be afraid. It…it’s a nice change.

I go over and sit on his bed. The room is small, just a bedroom, a small bathroom and a big desk.

I can hear him talking sternly in the other room but it’s hard to make out anything he’s saying. But the tone and emotion shine through. I didn’t want to make any trouble for him, I just…I just don’t want to be afraid.

More tears fall as I feel a sense of overwhelming guilt. This is all my fault… I can’t stop the regression that pulls at me.

I don’t know how long I sit there before I hear the open to his quarters. I immediately lift my head up and look at my kind Professor.

Tears continue to fall as he comes over to my side, “You’re okay Y/N. You’re safe now.”

“I’m sorry!” I start to cry.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right.”

Wait…what? I did? I lift my head and look at him confused. “I…I did?”

“Yes. You were in trouble and you ran somewhere you felt safe. That brought you to me.” He lights up saying, “And I’m happy you did because I put an end to this once and for all. They will never bother you again.”

I look at him in awe, so happy and utterly relieved. “Really?”

“Really.” He smiles back, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize this was happening sooner. But now it’s over with, they will never bother you again if they know what’s good for them.”

He sits beside me on the bed, opening his arm to me. I immediately sit closer allowing him to put his arm around my back.

I lean against his side, the two of us sitting like that for a while, enjoying the moment and myself enjoying the comfort. My thumb finds its way back to my mouth as I rest against his side.

“Y/N,” he says breaking the comforting silence of the room, “Do…Do you happen to regress? It’s okay if you do, it’s actually very healthy thing to do if you’re feeling scared or overwhelmed. I just need to know to better care for you.”

I nod against him, feeling so content for the first time in a long time. “Yeah. I do.” I lift my head from his shoulder and look back to him only to find him smiling back to me.

“And you don’t have anyone to take care of you? Does Madame Pomfrey know?”

I shake my head no, “I don’t trust anyone else to know…only you.”

I can see how it warms him, “I appreciate that you trust me with something like this. I promise to not betray that trust.” He holds me a little closer.

“Well this just leads me to my next question then.” He leans forward rubbing my back, “What are you planning on doing for the holiday break?”

I shrug, “No…I was just planning on staying here.” It sounds worse saying it out loud. Not that Hogwarts wasn’t nice to stay at…but it would nice to be home for the holidays.

“I’m sorry to say Y/N, but with you being regressed as you are I’m afraid you leave me no choice...” He stands and my heart races. No choice?

He smile back to me, offering me his hand, “You’ll just have to come home with me for the Holidays.”

My eyes light up, “Y-You want me?”

“Sirius and I would be honored to have you for the holidays! I have a feeling he’ll have us running around shopping one of those days but, we’ll make it through together.” He jokes. “I don’t think I could leave Hogwarts without having you by my side. So, would do you say?”

What do I say?! Are you kidding me? Of course the answer is yes!

“Yes!! Yes! A million times yes!” I practically jump into his arms.

He chuckles, hugging me back gently, “We’ll be so honored to have you spending the holidays with us. Sirius is going to love you as much as I do.”

The rest of the night he goes over the plan for tomorrow. He sends Sirius a late night owl message and I get to add a little bit to the end of it.

Then with the owl sent, Professor Lupin walks me back to my house’s dormitory. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, no later than 8 am. Got it?” He says with a smirk.

“I’ll be there!” I smile back. With another hug, we part ways for the night.

In the morning I rush around my room, grabbing my trunk and throwing it on my bed. I fill it with everything and more! Every stuffie I could think of I’m brining along for my journey to Professor Lupin’s house at Grimmauld Place.

I run down the empty hallways, trunk in hand with my robe and scarf on. Most had already left yesterday, we’re taking the train this morning.

I could barley sleep, so excited for the adventure today! I ran back into the classroom and into his quarters in the back. “Today‘s the day!!”

~~~

Remus couldn’t be happier seeing the spirited Little run into his room, trunk in hand, ready to go. “All set?” He smiles, closing his own trunk and grabbing his satchel.

“Yeah! I’ve got everything! I’m so excited!” In a second they’re by his side.

“Wonderful darling! Then we’re all ready for our big adventure home.” He walks over and grabs his robe, but pauses seeing the open letter from Sirius this morning.

He grabs it before walking back over to Y/N, “Sirius sent this right before you arrived, take a look what it says.”

He watches Y/N eagerly grab it, reading it like to line, growing more excited with every sentence. “He says he can’t wait for me to come!” They look back up to him, bouncing on their feet.

“See? I told you he would! And if he said he didn’t, well then I’d just have to sneak you in myself.” He jokes getting a giggle from them.

“Come on, it’s time to head to the train! We have a long ride ahead of us”. With his robe on and his trunk in hand, he offers his extra hand to Y/N who gladly takes it.

Together they walk down the main stairs and to the front gates of Hogwarts. A carriage takes them to the Hogwarts station where they board the train. Remus helps them put their trunks up, before they take a seat and relax.

The train ride goes wonderfully! Remus grabs them some goodies from the trolly, then Y/N takes out their trunk and shows him every single stuffie and while there isn’t many he makes sure he properly introduces himself to each one.

Between the late night the two had and the early morning train ride, the relaxing train swaying down the tracks lulls the two to into a nap. Y/N sleep on Remus’ lap, head resting against his shoulder while he has his arms wrapped protectively around them.

They don’t even stir them the train makes its way into King’s Crossing Station. They only begin to wake up when there’s a knock at their cabin door.

Y/N whines, rubbing their eyes as Remus lifts his head to the knocking waking up as well, “Yes? Who is it?”

Sirius swings the cabin door open smiling at the sight of the two. “What are you two up to? Sleeping already? But the holiday break has just begun!”

“And you must be Y/N,” He kneels down and opening his arms to Y/N, “I’m Sirius Black. Welcome home Little one!”

[bankofwildflowers]

I have just had thoughts.

We know that Thule will obviously feature again in The Wicked Powers. CC has said that the location of the black volume of the dead, as well as what happened to thule!simon, will be addressed. What i just realized after rereading TDA for the tenth time is that almost all the clues given so far relate to Thule.

The last king of Faerie? In Thule the Unseelie King united the courts and is currently ruling over them with Erec as his heir. And Julian told Thule!Livvy his true name before leaving. And Thule!Liivvy is around seventeen or eighteen, which is the age Kit and Ty will be in TWP. I cant help but assume that Kit and Ty will encounter Thule!Livvy at some point because they're around the same age- maybe by Kit and Ty somehow ending up in Thule!Faerie?

Also, Thule!Mark is missing and we can assume he's with the Wild Hunt in Faerie, which does not have the blight as the mortal world in Thule, meaning there's a strong chance that he and Janus (due to his extra angel blood) are literally the only two candidates for still retaining their Shadowhunter powers, which may tie in to the third book's title- The Last Shadowhunter. And obviously the second book is related to the epilogue of the Lost Book of the White, and the events of the Black Volume of the Dead.

Besides, the problem that Dru goes to Faerie for at the start of TLKoF? I bet it's Jaime being missing. CC said everyone's looking for a solution to the problem, so either everyone at this point knows about the missing Jaime and can't trace him in Faerie (because Kieran would know where he is on Unseelie lands), or it's another demonic problem. I bet the separate problem Kit and Ty are having is related to Livvy's ghost.

Also, remember the dreams Clary had in the early mortal instruments? Of her seeing Jace and Sebastian circle each other, Jace with white wings and Sebastian with white wings? Well, that didn't happen, but there IS someone who looks like Sebastian and has black wings- Ash. And conversely there IS someone who looks like Jace, too- Kit. Who hasn't sprouted white wings yet, but has fey heritage just like Ash. They're technically related, even- the Seelie Queen is Kit's great great great whatever grandmother, so they even partly trace the same lineage. Somehow I think the prophetic dreams Clary had were not of Jace and Sebastian, but Kit and Ash.

All this to say i have no idea how I'm going to wait 1.5 more years for TLKoF. Istg I'll have finished a PhD by the time this series finally ends

[hiroasu-akika]

Finally watched episode 7 of DanDaDan. I'm not okay.

First off, before I have my text breakdown. This episode was absolutely GORGEOUSLY animated. It took me an hour to actually finish it bc I just kept replaying chunks to watch them again. DanDaDan absolutely COOKS with the character movements and camera angles/focuses! (AND OH MY GOD THE FIRST PERSON RUN SEQUENCES AAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW DID THEY EVEN DO THAT????)

(And goooood did I ever appreciate the CPR scene being treated dead serious, that was so well done.)

BUT MOVING ON. I knew this episode was going to be heart wrenching. I've seen all the posts of people who had already seen it. I went into it braced for the impact, or so I thought. I still was not prepared for it. Not even close. I'm STILL crying silent tears and having to stop and just bury my face into my pillow for a few seconds as I'm typing this.

(Putting a read more here for my semi-detailed venting about the rest of the episode, cause y'know, spoilers)

I still cannot get the screams of Silky's daughter out of my head. The terror of them and the pitch they hit shattered me. The abrupt shift from a string of quiet, loving scenes to the loud horror of Silky's past was just...wow.

I can't un-hear that broken little cry of "Okāsan-" buried in the screams as she vanished out the door.

I will never be able to not feel my heart breaking every time I think about how Silky's yokai form wore the dress she got for her daughter. I will never not be sick seeing the glass still in her arm too.

The final dance was so so so tragically beautiful, and I will never forget that final, awful thud after Silky's daughter thanked her for everything she did for her.

I want to hug my mother so hard right now. But I can't. Because I don't have her anymore. But I will be hugging my little niece super hard tomorrow, bc Silky's daughter made me think of her so much.

And I don't care how annoying Aira might get throughout the rest of the series. I will always love her for the kindness she showed Silky at the end, to let her rest in peace with her daughter.

I'm still a wreck. God. What a masterpiece of an episode. Sorry for the probably over the top venting but god I have so many emotions rn.

(Can't wait for the whiplash of whatever wacky stuff is gonna happen in episode 8 when I watch it after work tomorrow 🥲👍)

[tansyuduri]

@larluce Thank you for the tag and for the rec!!! You are amazing too! I can't believe I'm working on our second collab!!!! 1. How many works do you have on AO3? 31! 13 of which are Melin the rest are from YEARS ago.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

297,340

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Merlin. There is one dragon age fic I MIGHT eventually go back to but merlin for the forseeable future!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Fever Talk

Treat Me Warmly

Better Than Burning Merlin Enchanted (my first colab with Larluce)

Unthinkable All of these are what I tend to stick too for my fics that are below 40K+ Aka a mixture of fluff, Hurt/confort, angst, banter, whump, ETC with a happy ending. The next one would be one of my long fics XD

5. Do you respond to comments?

Consitering how happy they make me! Yes Every one!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'll be honnest with you! It would be in my old fics for the Dragon Age Fandom and not Merlin. I tend toward happy endings for Merlin fics. Likely Forget me not or Good Boy

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhhhhhh UHHHHHHHHH UHHHHHH Well Most of my merlin ones have happy endings? If we're going least traumatized Um PERHAPS treat me warmly?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh not really hate but I got this one person commenting on my longfics that Merlin deserves better because arthur would go back to gwen if he could and that they don't like gwen. Like I'm sorry but my Arthur returns series is my love letter to the cannon version of the show in my mind. I'm not going to pretend Arthur never loved Gwen Even if the fic's main paring is Merthur, And even if I belive Gwen would be more likely to love Arthur but stay with the man she remarried (Who she also loved because In my mind she married again to a noble she loved for secrity AND LOVE because I want her to be happy in her life) and knew into old age in the afterlife.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I include sex scenes in longfics usually and if asked for a request. I do not think its what I am best at but I do my best!!!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? NOPE!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

NOPE!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I am borning and only speak english but I would never say no to this!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

with @larluce I'm actualy currently about to do my first edit of our second colab! 14. What’s your all time favourite ship? MERTHUR

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

When I started writing merthur I had a rule that I do not publish any of a fic until I am done with the entire thing. I do have some drafts however One is my version of What happens post cannon during gwen's reign. I Don't think I'll ever finish it because I'm CRAZY about merthur. and having Merthur in a fic helps keep me going with it.

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I am good at keeping In character, Besides that Dialouge and feelings I think. I like to know my characters deeply and be able to keep them fairly close to their cannon versions. Of course characters have LOTS of cannon versions depending on which time in cannon and how the story affects them. BUT still its somthing I like to focus on

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Problubly having enough decription. I'm NOT a super visual thinker so yeah. 18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Normally it should be translated or knowlable. Spells are an exeption

19. First fandom you wrote for? Um I was not in any fandom but I wrote a LOTR spoof in elementary school

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Oh easy. Our Stars Still Shine Together was my first long merlin fic and the first that I wrote after realizing I could write again

@shanastoryteller @shana-rosee @catsconflictscopicsandchamomile @calamity-talvi @247merthur

@saurix5 @groundbreakingdot872

Twenty Questions for Fanfic Writers

Thank you @liviapeleia for the asks <3!!

Tagging longtime frond @breadkween, fabulous runner of @merlinmicrofic @queerofthedagger (thank you!) and reader and writer who's left me lovely comments @achillesuwu. @mythandmagic, Ao3 is down rn so I can't check but if you have any fics yourself, here's an ask game for you! There's no obligation, presh or time limit of course! Also like @liviapeleia said before me, consider yourself tagged if you see this!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

265,960

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now just Merlin. I've written for other fandoms in the past but each of those works have been standalone.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Always His Destiny | Merlin | A true love's kiss, resurrection and golden age AU written for Glompfest 2024.

Like Every Tree Stands On Its Own | Merlin | A longfic inspired by other Arthurian media/sources featuring Wildman Prophet!Merlin and a magical forest. This is my magnum opus.

What's Mightier Than a Sword and Robs a Prince of His Servant? | Merlin | Pre-slash Merthur minor canon-divergence in which Merlin's talents in speech writing land him a promotion and Arthur is Not Pleased™.

Only Human | Venom | A short gift/exchange fic about masturbation, lol. The fic I received in exchange was also about masturbation. In my defence this was a writing exercise (I promise).

The Sky Is Falling | Nightvale | Unfinished fic about alcoholism recovery, love, community and the complete collapse of reality.

...Okay wow what a mix :D

5. Do you respond to comments?

I really love comments and I love getting into discussions with readers! It really makes my day to see that someone has commented on one of my fics.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Am I allowed to choose a soon to be published WIP? Words Are Dead, a microfic inspired by the Agnes Obel song of the same name in which Merlin and Arthur are unable to communicate when Arthur returns. Merlin has lost Brythonic, his first language, and his capacity to relearn it. He's simply been alive for far too long and his mind has suffered :(

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Like Every Tree has a prolonged bittersweet kind of ending but I think Always His Destiny wins.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope/not yet!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, though so far it hasn't been the focus of any of my works, there's no reason why that can't change though (the Venom one doesn't count, I make the rules here). As to what kind I'd say loving and intimate, I guess? Sometimes with a bit of a hurt/comfort element to it. Again, no reason why I can't branch out in the future ;)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

While not labelled as a crossover, Like Every Tree was heavily inspired by Arthurian media both new and old, and one medieval Irish source. I did so much research for this fic and I'm still down those various rabbit holes. It was a homage to my favourite, janky cartoon movie from my childhood Quest for Camelot. Otherwise I don't write proper crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I would love to!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I guess it really has to be Merthur! I don't recall a ship ever having such a hold on me. Those two are doomed but made for each other. The way they interact is so much fun to read/write.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Damn, this is definitely Be Here When the Weather Turns, a Mushi-shi fic. It has a very soft, restful and liminal vibe and I adore it. I really do wish I can finish it someday. So sometimes like a song, you share a piece of media with someone, or you associate it with a particular chapter in your life, and that song/piece of media brings up feelings. I'd like to think it's still worth a read. If you don't know Mushi-shi, please consider checking it out, it was weird and quiet and beautiful.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can't deny that I put a lot of love into this hobby. Also @breadkween has told me that they really like my dialogue :3

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm really prone to typos. I can re-read something a hundred times and just fail to see them. I'm a very slow writer; what I put out usually goes through months of edits and change-ups. Lastly I have embraced a faux-pas or two for fun, such as starting sentences with 'and.' And no one can stop me >:)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd only be comfortable writing dialogue in a language I've formerly learned and have some level of familiarity with for fear of getting something wrong.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Okay I love this question because the answer is the highly formative Garth Nix's Keys to the Kingdom series, a YA series I was obsessed with, and have continued to read, and re-read as an adult and as unexpected prequels and sequels popped up in more recent years. I wrote it on a literal floppy disk :D First fandom I wrote for that I actually published online was Undertale.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Definitely Like Every Tree. I'm just really proud of it :3

[aparticularbandit]

So.

Leomon and Jeri's discussion re: "If everyone gets hurt, it'll be all my fault" "No, it's the fault of the Digimon who hurt us" is so important given that Leomon gets killed and Jeri hates Beelzemon for killing him but she blames herself. Leomon's death is her fault. If everyone else gets hurt fighting over her and her pain, that's her fault. It sets up so beautifully for that.

But this also plays into the bigger conversation that Digimon Tamers wants to have about Destiny and Choice. Are we destined to do something, or do we choose to do it?

Jeri says she's destined for tragedy. But it's also baked into her insecurities and her constant feeling like things are her fault - that takes power away from the choices the other characters have.

Leomon didn't choose to sacrifice himself; Jeri wasn't a good enough Tamer to stop it from happening.

Beelzemon didn't kill Leomon; Jeri wasn't a good enough trainer to keep it from happening.

Takato and Guilmon and Beelzemon are fighting because of Impmon/Beelzemon's choices; he CHOSE to stab them in the back and he CHOSE to kill Leomon and Takato and Guilmon are CHOOSING to bring him to task for that; but Jeri sees this as her fault because they're fighting over her because she wasn't able to stop them.

And part of this is Leomon bringing up destiny as a thing, but this was true even before they were partners.

And Digimon Tamers comes down so hard on the side of choice. Our destiny is what we choose to make it.

Which...feels like it might be a rebuttal of the previous seasons? And the idea of Digi-Destined? And prophecies? And etc.?

(But I could be wrong because I haven't seen very much of those.)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS x Legally Blond Crossover 2: Nie Huaisang Goes To Jail.

(part one)

[lazycranberrydoodles]

hanguang-jun...

lan wangji in ace attorney!! turn on sound 🔊 / traced over edgeworth's sprites :) more info below the cut ↓

also including a bonus Happy Wangji that i couldn't fit into the video!

his share code is YCNKBA! the music used is Recollection -- Light and Shadow of the Film Studio. I thought it had a nice, contemplative feel, between Suspense, which was too intense for the scene, and Heartbroken Maya, which was too sad. the wwx/jc/lwj reunion scene is truly sososo interesting in every adaptation.

→ masterpost here! ←

[fist-of-vengeance]

thinking about how essentially every relationship john locke formed in the early seasons of lost has completely disintegrated by the time of his death.

of course there's his relationship with jack, which starts tense but manageable and culminates in jack pointing a gun at john's head and pulling the trigger. but even his smaller, less narratively prominent relationships either implode or drift apart. he bonds with walt in season one but then walt leaves the island, which is itself a severing of their bond since it was mainly based on being the only two people who wanted to stay. still, he goes and visits walt off the island so this is probably john's most successful relationship. I dont think i need to explain how he fucked up with boone, "the sacrifice that the island demanded." charlie viewed john as a mentor and claimed to trust him more than anyone on the island, but after the events of fire and water, that trust is destroyed and charlie despises him. at the same time we get john bonding with claire and having a pseudo-paternal dynamic with her, but their closeness basically drops off the face of the earth as he gets less and less involved with the other survivors.

his arc in the series is essentially a gradual distancing from everyone around him. it starts when he abandons hunting (providing for the others) in favor of trying to get the hatch open (it's extremely clear his primary motive isn't any survival applications but getting answers to the mystery). when they do open the hatch, he spends more and more time inside, underground, cut off from other people. he spends more and more time interacting with ben, a human mystery box that he's obsessed with cracking even if it gets him killed. he follows the proverbial white rabbit deeper down the hole and leaves his connection to humanity behind. the island and its mysteries become more important to john than anything or anyone else.

then in season three we get him claiming to go undercover with the others only to unceremoniously tell sawyer that he's actually going to join them. and it doesn't feel shocking, it feels inevitable. because john has spent the entire series becoming less and less connected with the people he arrived with. in that sense he actually makes a fascinating foil to juliet, who is introduced as one of the others and yet never really fits, she's increasingly sympathetic and kind in a way the rest of them aren't, her redemption arc feels so natural that she actually starts referring to her old people as "the others" like she's been one of the crash survivors from the beginning. her and john basically have inverse arcs, which is probably accidental but very neat.

in season five john tries to convince everyone to go back to the island, and fails spectacularly. and of course he does, because he was so consumed by obsession that he stopped maintaining his relationships, and in many cases actively alienated people (this is also basically what happened with helen) and now he can't wrap his head around why they're all so hostile to him. i am forever obsessed with the scene where he confronts kate and she brutally calls him out for wanting to return to the island because he doesn't love anyone. it actually struck me on rewatch how well the two of them got along in season one, and how badly their relationship has degraded by this point. john repeatedly casts aside interpersonal relationships in favor of his obsession with destiny, so when said destiny actually involves persuading the people he once shunned, he's at a loss. this is because john treats purpose as a supplement for connection, destiny as an alternative to love.

as an aside, this aspect of john's character kinda ties into my opinion that several lost characters can be read as allegorically neurdivergent under a certain lens. i know this was absolutely not intended, but as an adhd former gifted kid who struggles socially, there is something uncomfortably familiar about a character who allows their relationships to burn around them because of a single-minded obsession, especially as a result of being promised the fickle status of "special."

tl/dr: john locke is a doomed idiot and i love him

[safyresky]

How long is the wait before you have to Kribble Krabble???

Cuz like. We've no idea how long B-Man was head elf, right? We know that he was for SURE head elf for Scott for 8 years at least. And we KNOW he's been there for a HAUTE MINUTE given the photo he has with Mad Santa, okay? So HUNDREDS of years, then about 8 for Scott.

Then Curtis takes over and we know he's been head elf for like, at LEAST that year (given how he says "fyi I'm head elf NOW" to Jack, and Santa comments frequently enough on how Curtis needs to get his head in the game (wildcats!) bc he's head elf now), right? Then literal DECADES pass and we KNOW in that interim, Curtis explodes but then doesn't and goes on kribble krabble instead, right?

Okay. So like. Betty has deffs been there for a HAUTE MINUTE. I don't think there's ANY comment on how/when she started. So we can assume Betty has been there for DECADES at least if the whole Escape Clause debacle had Curtis exploding his way to Kribble Krabble.

Now I THINK she mentions she deferred it a bunch, or SOMEONE mentions she did. So like. Okay. We can deffer a Kribble Krabble. Cool! But how long did she do that for? How long did B-MAN do that for?

Moving on!

So Betty finally goes on Kribble Krabble, and then a year later Noel goes with her on his (their) Kribble Krabble so basically, WHEN DOES THE KRIBBLE KRABBLE TAKE EFFECT? BECAUSE THIS IS VERY MUCH GIVING

[miodiodavinci]

taking a break from working to say man. if the end up having to cut content to fit everything in 24 episodes, my favorite chapter of dungeon meshi is almost certainly getting cut skdjfhglj

[darklight-owl]

Owl Reviews Stuff She Just Finished: Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright

So yk I didn't know what to expect going into this game, I'd seen really funny dialogue of it and mostly got it because I was extremely hyperfixated on Layton. But I did NOT expect such an emotional rollercoaster of a game with themes that tie into both Professor Layton and Ace Attorney and utilizes the strengths of each series so efficiently. I did not expect this game to make me cry. I did not expect this game to become one of my favorite Professor Layton AND Ace Attorney titles. But it did so I have to talk about it.

With two successful IPs on the cover this game could have easily been halfassed but every corner of it is full of passion for both titles. I mentioned before how they build off and complement each other and I think that's a result of the people working on this game having an in-depth knowledge of what makes PL and AA work and what their shortcomings are.

For example (I mentioned this in the liveblogs but may as well repeat myself here) Ace Attorney games are often limited to just the courtroom and investigation, not to mention you're not going to see 90% of the characters ever again after the case is done. This is serviceable for the kind of game AA is but it makes the world itself feel a bit uninteresting. However Professor Layton games have you confined to one town and make you explore it in depth, with recurring background characters who all have different (yet basic) personalities. Because of this, the Layton segments where you walk around town become crucial parts of the game where you can interact with future or past witnesses as they go about their lives, making these witch trials feel like they're taking part within an actual community, which make the emotional beats in the trials hit REALLY hard.

In turn, AA strengthens PL by adding variety. Layton games can be a bit monotonous if you're not engaged since the gameplay mostly consists of talking to people and solving an occassional puzzle, and there's a lack of interesting smaller mysteries to keep the audience engaged while they work on solving the bigger ones. But Ace Attorney games thrive on side stories, they're what make the trials so interesting! So by adding the smaller mysteries in the form of witch trials and mixing in clues about what the Hell is going on in Laberynthia you make a much more dynamic story that never feels like you're getting nowhere.

Enough about story structure and nerd stuff like that though, let's talk characters!

I love the main four and have always loved the main four so I'm not gonna talk abt them. The original characters for this game were freaking amazing. I see a lot of people really dislike Espella (which is understandable since she's probably the weakest of the cast) but she's pretty alright imo. She's going through a lot of things with the entire town despising her and [SPOILERS] so it makes sense why she would act the way she does, even then I feel like most heartfelt moments with her were a bit forced, which kind of lessens the impact of the last scene. I LOVE the relationship between her and [ANOTHER SPOILER] as well as the dynamic she has with Maya though.

I LOVE BARNHAM. He's one of my favorite prosecutors, he may not have any deep angst or trauma like so many of my favs do, but he's just a well meaning dude who thinks he's doing what he needs to to protect his town, even if it means casting wiitches into the flames. He also goes through a little character arc of his own where he also starts to bend the rules, the only laberynthian to do so. It's fun. Barnham is my best friend.

Unfortunately I can't talk about Darklaw or The Storyteller without getting into spoilers but basically: I love Darklaw and think she deserves the world, I'm on the fence about The Storyteller and feel like parts of his character were extremely rushed.

The secondary characters are also great, you have your classic goofy witnesses but also some really heartfelt characters and relationships in the trials, this is nothing new for Ace Attorney but when you include the conscious knowledge that these characters are going to be cast into the fire then these mini stories are enough to move me to tears (Looking at you, Golden Court).

Anyway, overall a fantastic experience that caught me completely off guard. No notes. I give it 10 burning witches out of 10.

Oh. And also:

[poibynt]

The GNCness of hiccup horrendous haddock the III can be so personal actually. Yeah that preteen is a mother what of it.