#i just dont want her to feel disappointed in me

[7ouls]

im REAAAAALLY sorry for the likje longest wait ever but in the meanwhile i've wiorked on my oc too so i'll prob post abt it soon. sorry if this is short or bad but it took me a long time to get motivation to write this 😓

(this isnt proofread so if u see any mistakes dont mind them i’ll correct them tomorrow cause im too tired)

fem! reader btw

Daisuke never liked to rely too much on other people, he was always told how annoying he can be so that would make him even more of a weight than he already is.

Although he can’t complain when his girlfriend is the one who gets to take care of him. After what happened at the Tulpar you could see big changes in his attitude, he tried to smile at you but you can see that it’s not the same genuine lovely smile he used to give you in the past, when he was still on earth with you.

You were his girlfriend before he got the news from his parents about the internship and no matter how much you tried to convince him to not leave he still did, promising you that he’d come back for you. He wasn’t wrong, but this isn’t what you were expecting.

He had many scars around his body, barely able to move. He was put in a wheelchair for a few months, just until the scars have healed and he could get back in feet.

Daisuke’s parents found him a therapist, ignoring the boy’s wishes not to. Because after all he had you, you were the only one who he opened up with about what happened to all of them, about how guilty he felt for them. You were the one holding him in your arms after he cried on your shoulder for hours, you were the one changing his dirty bandages but most of all you were the one that loved him.

At nights like this you liked to wait until Daisuke was sleeping to leave him on your shared bed and go out your balcony to watch the sky filled with the city’s light, and when days were harder you took the hidden pack of cigarettes and light one up.

As you were watching the sky above your head you felt moving inside the house but didn’t think much of it, as it could be your pet just wandering around.

Your presumption turned out to be wrong as you heard your name be yelled from your bedroom, you quickly get inside to check on the voice and found your boyfriend on the floor. You run to him and slowly get him back on your bed. He pouts seeing your worried face checking for any damage.

“Are you okay? How did you get down there, most importantly why were you th-“ He stops you before you can bombard him with even more questions.

“I’m sorry Y/n, i just needed to drink something and when i saw that you weren’t here i tried to take it myself but i couldn’t...” You could see the disappointment in his eyes, you thought he might be feeling like a weight on your shoulders so you tried your best to comfort him.

“Daisuke look at me. You don’t have to apologise, it’s my fault. I should’ve been there for you but i wasn’t and i’m sorry about that. You shouldn’t force yourself to move too much, the doctors said that your body is still too fragile to sudden movements.” The boy looked at you, the mention of doctors saddened him.

“I’m so tired of these doctors, i sometimes wish you could be the one treating me instead. And the therapist girl always keeps trying to make me spill stuff, is it wrong that i don’t want to talk about it? She keeps asking about you a lot too, she might be thinking that you know more than her.”

“She wouldn’t be wrong, if it makes you feel any better i could try speaking with her.” He tiredly nodded at you and you both get back in bed, drifting off into sleep while holding him.

“Goodnight Y/n, i love you.”

IDK HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS. i weote it in 2 hours so maybe that why its so bad and yea im so tired idek what im saying

[rafesbangs]

What did u think of season 4? And how they ended it?

omg i've lowkey been waiting to yap abt this...

spoilers under the cut !!!

first of all, am i the only one to have predicted jj dying??? and that sarah was pregnant?

rudy had previously said he wants out of the show and all the drama surrounding madison and rudy just kept getting worse and worse i swear so literally even before the season aired i was like "they're killing him off" and then especially after they released the news about there only being one more season i was like "yeah rudy's done"

and as for sarah, i think they just made it super obvious in the trailers and stuff like she had never looked at kids or whatever before hand and ESPECIALLY when jombee was mentioning having a family.

anyways, as for season 4 as a whole... i kinda loved it?

i actually genuinely think they kinda got back on their game bcs personally i really wasn't a fan of season 3... i thought the whole vibe of it wasn't outerbanks if you get what i mean. and dont get me wrong, season 4 was also drastically different but i feel like they kinda got back on their game. (i know this is a very differed opinion from the masses, im just a girl)

jj dying was disappointing for sure but it kinda made sense to me like of course a beloved character that had a tragic life is gonna have a tragic end like that especially in this genre of tv.

and RAFE this season OH MY GOD. he was so delish in part two, ESPECIALLY when the pogues got svaed by him and IN MOROCCO.

he was fucking knocking everyone out left and right like one of dalia's bitches (i forget his name but you KNOW what scene im talking about) had a whole gun AND knife and rafe handled him like it was NOTHING. im SO excited to see more of flashback s2 rafe in s5 omfg.

i will say the fanficification of rafe was off like idk how i feel about proposing to sofia when he couldn't even call her his girlfriend in front of other people but idk i think they realised this season that rafe is an EXTREMELY popular character (and in my personal opinion kinda carries the popularity of the show along with jj) so they were like "lets curate him towards the masses a tad, see how they react"

if they kill him off at the end of season 5 in a whole saving sarah, final redemption situation i will throw a fit. LET HIM LIVE.

anyway thats my two cents. ty for the good question !!

[fruityindividual]

you erased tonks and she's literally teddy's mom??? why do ff writers keep doing this??? this fandom is hella misogynistic let the female characters be MOMS!!

mkay. thoughts + questions below the cut xx

i do not care abt tonks enough to write abt her. i won't spend my time writing abt a character i dont find interesting just cos jkr did and u think i should.

is it ok w you if i leave tonks out of fics that don't include teddy?

is tonks' motherhood where u draw the line?

cos shes a mum?

cos being a mum is the most important aspect of her canon female character?

or am i misunderstanding you? like u've misunderstood why i chose to not include tonks in tmos?

should i have killed her off? or made her a v minor character? either way, as ppl who clearly care so deeply abt tonks, u would've been disappointed.

oh! i shouldve just written an oc kid?

so u don't mind if tonks is left out of fics that don't include teddy? cos if she's not a mum, then there's no point? or am i misunderstanding you? like u've misunderstood why i chose to not include tonks in tmos?

'this fandom is misogynistic' -> 'let em be MOMS!!'

fictional characters dont actually have 2 b anything just cos you and jkr say so.

including a character solely cos shes a mum in canon isn't a v convincing reason to divorce (<-lmao) myself from wht i'd prefer writing. imo

i feel no obligation 2 write tonks just cos jkr did n u think i should. this stems from my personal belief that i can write whtevr the fuck i want.

calling a fandom as a whole 'misogynistic' but citing tonks' motherhood as ur only grievance is rly interesting. and by 'interesting,' i mean dense + annoying

fandom is 'denying tonks her motherhood?' well i also denied her a fucking existence......btw.

excluding tonks from tmos wasn't driven by my desire to 'get her out of the way' so r/s ('two gay men' <-insane three words 2 type n click send on btw anon) could raise teddy, but rather my desire to literally not write abt her at all. cos ive never rly found her an interesting character. is that wrong? i'm not convinced it is. but i dont pretend to have given this as much thought as u three big thinkers.

write ur own fics n give tonks the appreciation u think is lacking instead of whinging abt the product of my own loser daydreams in my askbox.

u'll never convince me that these sorts of asks are sent in effort to make the world a better place <3

will always welcome asks n polite discourse + treat everyone w the respect they deserve, but pls consider baiting, drama-fuelled asks like these outside of my boundaries. dont bring this shit into my house xoxo

[sketchbookwonders]

Oh yeah also vent art or whatever

[boycaca]

I think its somewhat telling that the gnosis was placed inside the shouki no kami rather than scara containing it in his chest the same way that venti did with his gnosis. I get that its probably more so because scara needed a much grander body for his god form and the electro gnosis just so happened to be at the centre of it… but i cant help but think of it as the games way of telling us that he truly is not fit to contain the gnosis, even in peak form when all his powers are unleashed, he still needs to build a whole new body as the gnosis’ vessel, that the so called “heart” he thought was rightfully his would not actually make him satisfied or fulfilled, as it seems to be the embodiment of all of scara’s obsessions

[serenity-the-firefly]

i’ve expended an enormous amount of physical and emotional energy over the last two days on very little sleep (spent 10 hours straight at work setting up a display + a meeting, got home at 9:30 and then stayed up until 5:30 working on a dress for a wedding, then got up at 10 and helped set up/attend/clean up said wedding until 9) and instead of feeling particularly tired my body’s decided to manifest all my exhaustion and stress as intense insecurity and the feeling that my mother doesn’t actually like me

[zapsoda]

ok but blatantly and inarguably a lot of "accepting" parents would rather their children be ~nonbinary~ and/or ~nontransitioning~ than binary transgender, and this doesnt devalue exorsexism (not only because it is another form of exorsexism) but because it is a fact

[vampirejuno]

Am I Into This Person But Very Nervous About It, Or Just Going Along For The Ride Because Idk What I Want - And Other Paralyzing Questions To Haunt Your Weekend!

[sonknuxadow]

potential sonic 3 spoilers incoming if anyone cares. anyway . apparently there was an official survey about the knuckles show/scu in general and one of the questions was about what name you would use for an eggman/shadow/gerald teamup. which is a weirdly specific question. and also one of the name options was team dark …….. ?? even though rouge isnt mentioned in the question and theres no sign of her being in the next movie in general ? i was willing to accept amy being introduced a little after knuckles and tails but between there still being no sign of her being in the next movie and now this if they actually have gerald time travel or something and have him be the third member of the dark story trio instead of rouge then i will be fully convinced that theyre going out of their way to exclude as many already existing girl characters as possible. like i get cgi is expensive which could be part of the reason rouge might not have made the cut. but damn . assuming this is real anyway it could just be another fake leak but idk

[milfygerard]

living in the inbetween hell where I dont hate or love ttpd enough to agree with anyone on the dash so im just sort of flinching whenever I see a post about it from any side

[schizowitchic]

also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions

[lottieurl]

me realizing some people were emotionally hit by the twist that it's a dream sequence while i was watching it the whole time absolutely sure it wasn't real but still worried it might be and thinking about how the true horror was shauna being all touchy feely towards the baby

[apollorobin]

peko again!! this time with cham-p, the roundest guy of all time!!! <3

(gundham heard that she wanted to befriend fluffy animals but tended to scare them off. cham-p is too silly to be scared, so gundham just put him in her hands then frolicked away majestically)

[depresseddepot]

they rejected my application :(

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

[mymp3]

trailer talk