#but the tldr of it is that im kind of disappointed they only seem to be adapting mostly movie and portable stuff

[mymp3]

trailer talk

[thefemeleon]

hello radblr i hate to sound stupid on this website but i need genuine advice/opinions from actually women and lesbians and this feels like the only place to get that lol.

TLDR: i babble on about experiences that make me wonder if im a deeply traumatized lesbian or just disappointed in being bisexual

for context i am a detrans gnc woman and the word i would use to describe my experience at the moment is bisexual.

now here’s the part where i talk about my experiences. please be honest, if i am just bisexual, i am just bisexual. but i do want to get a kind of consensus i guess. i hate being bisexual, genuinely. i have a strong internal bias against bisexuality that i just can’t seem to shake. i wish i was only attracted to females, but im not and that pisses me off so bad. as a kid i had few crushes on boys but it did happen. i’ve always had ssa though, it’s been prevalent my whole life. in hindsight looking back i wonder if i struggle to understand the difference between platonic and romantic attraction, specifically when it comes to how it can differ with sex. i have autism, and it makes it extremely difficult for me to identify and differentiate what im feeling. I’ve had “crushes” on men, but i can’t help but wonder if it’s more the happiness i get from male friendships, from the validation. when i’ve dated men, i feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled, often finding myself thinking we would be much better as friends. i hate having sex with males as well, it’s a chore to me and tends to be painful. i usually just endure for the sake of my male partners. the annoying part to me is that i believe i am sexually attracted to men (in theory i guess), i just don’t like having sex with them. maybe i haven’t found the “right man” or whatever. i have experienced a lot of sexual trauma at the hands of men and i can’t help but wonder if that’s shaped my sexuality today. ive dated women before, and it was better, except for my failing mental health at those times. i want so badly to be with a woman, to be in a relationship with someone i can understand and who can understand me. not only to escape misogyny (which is a big reason i don’t like to date men), but i also just find women more attractive. i like having sex with women, it doesn’t hurt and it’s fun, something i look forward to doing. i’m in a relationship with a man but i plan on ending it. i just refuse to settle for something that doesn’t benefit me, no matter how good he is as a person.

that was all a very roundabout way of saying i’m not sure anymore about the nature of my sexuality. there’s so many factors, so i’m reaching out to the radfems for advice. i apologize about this being TMI, but i felt like all the context is necessary lol. feel free to reblog, i want more reach than i have currently. i’m also happy to elaborate more.

[kindchenschema]

greysanon again and tysm for answering i love talking about this stupid show lmao

okay agree about s12 it’s actually my ideal end point for the show after s8 and the magmeldith (i love maggie—she’s over hated and all the hate is over shit other characters would easily get away with but they come down extra hard on the black woman for some reason🤨—and im a sister lady chief stan idc that it’s corny i loved how snarky and close and fun they were in this season) everyone finally moved on from the derek stuff and they’re all learning now to be okay again it’s so good and endearing🥺

yeah! simone is so adorable and kind! she even made lucas tolerable but he’s annoying af and drags her down. he needs to leave her alone and they need to write in a new guy for her that adores her. honestly wish lucas was leaving the show and not yasuda but greys loves to disappoint.

speaking of yasuda, why has the chemistry between her and jules been so good these last couple of eps lol like when they woke up together the energy was giving GAY lol. they should bang before she leaves for good honestly

same for amelia and beltran who finally acknowledged the thing between them. i still don’t see sparks but i was charmed by beltran this week (spoilers for ep8) and i loved that amelia asked her out. idk why she’s always attracted to these emotionally unavailable women (addison is my top 5 greys women but sorry to say ive never sparks between her and any of the other women except maybe callie? i just don’t get a femslash vibe from her at all she gives me super straight wasp vibes srry lmao but she’s super hot and brilliant) but it’s good drama when they put in the effort to write it. seems like she could be sappy but like in erica hahn way (another fave idc that she was mean and arrogant she was right and they wrote her off so stupidly) where she’s still kinda cold to everyone else but sweet with amelia and honestly that would work for me because i love that dynamic for women. imma need a kiss by the finale to really solidify my interest tho.

but yeah no this season is so bland the show itself has become so low stakes and formulaic it’s like they’re afraid to actually take it in a compelling and dynamic direction because they don’t wanna alienate their old ass fans in middle america but what about us young fun dykes lmao. what if we’re tired of weekly hetero complications like we wanna have fun too!

greys anon bestie!! hi <3

girl you are so right, Maggie get behind me 🤺 I really love Maggie and I do agree that a lot of the hate she gets is due to misogyny and racism, and she was kind of put in a shit position being "the other Lexie" by the writers. (I personally never minded the recycled half-sister storyline but Lexie was a precious babe so of course people are going to be territorial.) the thing, to me, about Maggie, is like. yeah. she's a little bit annoying. but we have to remember she's an ex gifted kid turned gifted adult, she went through puberty and like pretty much all major "age-related" (mental) changes surrounded by people much older than her and she was also bullied, plus she grew up an only child who was very much the center of her parents' lives. like, yeah, when a person like that grows up, she's gonna be a bit childish and self-centered (for the RECORD I can name at least ten characters who are way worse in that regard starting with the ugly little gnome George o'malley) (also Maggie is extremely emotionally intelligent when it comes to judging situations/dealing with conflict but due to everything in her life just not happening at the "average" time and being so focused on her studies she's just starting to develop an adult sense of "self-awareness" when we meet her - and that is OKAY). tldr Maggie is an angel and the minuscule amount of flaws she has just make her a real, three-dimensional, complex human being, and I wish people would get over the Lexie thing so they could appreciate this wonderfully written and played character.

same I loved sister lady chiefs so much!! I had genuine Amelia/meredith brain rot a few years back 🤭 when Amelia was curled up at the foot of Meredith's bed and then when they were at the table and Meredith reached out to pet Amelia's head - I have a lot of Thoughts about how much of a puppy Amelia is but I don't know if this is a safe space so I'll shut up now 😭

simone is good at many things but nothing and no one can make Lucas tolerable to me, every time he is on my screen it makes me want to kill myself. I wish he would leave and from a show writing standpoint I don't understand why yasuda is leaving. it just feels like everyone is coming and going as they please, couldn't they hire main characters who actually want to stay on the show for more than three seasons? because I'm sorry but what is this?

anyways yes in the very beginning I thought they would make yasuda and Jules a thing... I do think they would be good together in the time yasuda has left (in the show haha) but I found the storyline with her fight with Taryn very dissatisfying and just... meh, I guess. (but that could be said about any storyline at all of the past five seasons so)

okay enough of me being a hater!! I am a lover now. Love ❤️

okay I lied I still don't like Beltran and I want her to go away. I do agree with you that the badboy who's sweet to one (1) person in a lesbian dynamic is top tier, but regardless I do want kai to come back to Seattle and also their senses and for them to confess their love to Amelia. as an alternative I would settle for seeing addimelia scissor on national television. but that's beside the point.

anon have you watched private practice? if you like Addison, you should!! she's definitely a wasp but she is a lesbian i know it!! (source: delusion)

honestly I really wonder how their more conservative/republican fanbase feels about the general tone of the show now (I mean the hardcore alt-right people probably stopped watching a long time ago haha) because even though I'm anything but conservative I find it very disrespectful. I mean, you can't have every main character parroting one political standpoint (in ear-cancer inducing twitter lingo might I add) and the faceless "bad guys" saying the other. like with the roe v wade storyline - obviously I'm pro choice, but there could've been something way more interesting. instead of "bad guys throw brick at good guys" (Kwan). something to reach people on both sides and have an actual nuanced conversation - what if a woman who was a protester had gone to Addison for an abortion? for example

dude imagine if we were writers on the show... every character would be a dyke. Addison dyke, meredith dyke, Amelia bisexual(no one's perfect), NICOLE HERMAN!!! DYKE. Owen? dyke! you get it

thank you soo much for these anons they really make my day :'') as you can see I am a bit obsessed with grey's (I also write fanfic) so I'm super delighted to yap about it with you <33333 (but I promise I'm normal otherwise 😭 I go to school, I have friends, etc no basement dwelling going on here no ma'am 🫡)

[deathandthemaiden23]

Bro idk who's around me rn idk who's really still here in this fandom idk who will even see this or read it and i dont wanna get into it (proceeds to get into it) but ive been on a grand fucking expedition to confront past trauma and shit lately which whoopeee what else is new for what basically amounts to a dreamworks adult obsessed with the grim reaper from shrek specifically i think there's probably an actual good reason this is my biggest blorbo yet (which by the way, my good bitches, is truly saying something) beyond "big scary wolf sexy" but like anyways its been a hot fuckin second of me just sort of existing in purgatory with basically only this character to keep me real company the whole time chipping away at fanfic and makin doodles here and there while trying to solve the great big fuckin mystery of hey pal is there any particular reason you spend most of your free time fantasizing at length about being loved and cared for by literal fuckin death but um i kinda sorta had been making peace lately with the very real possibility that probably the only reappearances from Death we'd see going forward in this franchise would kinda just be relegated to stuff like being a playable character in that dumbass mario kart game they made recently that they had the audacity to charge $50 for the version with him in it and I was immediately prepared to shell out the fuckin money regardless anyways tldr this is my longwinded way of saying bless harvey fuckin guillen for supposedly saying he wants to reprise his role as perrito in shrek 5 and specifically mentioning he wanted to know more about his backstory including the near death experience he had in the sock that he still wears like ok let me be clear im not getting my hopes up for shit im super excited about the idea of harvey and everybody reprising their roles for future shrek installments but i know shit be disappointing sometimes and it just be like that sometimes blablabla alright nothing is set in stone in this cursed ass timeline we're in bbbbbbut

✨️H O W E V E R✨️

I cannot help but think in some kind of weirdly jaded optimism that surely dreamworks would not fucking let the absolute furry cashcow that Death is go to fucking waste if they're bringing shrek back to the big screen it just seems incredibly fuckin stupid this big fuckin bastard gave everyone a boner when last wish dropped to the extent that i actually didnt know anything about last wish going in to see it in theaters the first time knew nothing of the plot who was in it whatever right THE ONLY FUCKIN KNOWLEDGE I HAD OF LAST WISH PRIOR TO SITTING DOWN AND WATCHING IT WAS "OH I GUESS THERE'S A WOLF CHARACTER AND EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCK HIM" LMFAO UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKIN YEAR RIGHT LOL anyways if dreamworks doesnt seize the opportunity to give him at least one more like visible cameo appearance anywhere in whatever they can squeeze out of the shrek franchise after it was dead (lmfao) for like years (the puss in boots show is little known to anyone sadly and also it seems vaguely noncanonical if that makes sense stuff gets said on the regular in that show that just seems too batshit even for shrek standards) I'll genuinely like die of shock the entertainment industry is chock full of companies just like dreamworks always achin to get their hands on another iconic character they can squeeze money out of ad infinitum and like i dont want that to happen with Death I dont but also... please just let him show up at least one more time dreamworks throw this bitch a bone im begging you you will make so much money i promise u the thirsty tumblr fans are no joke we'll bankroll your ass to the moon and back

I feel it would be remiss of me not to offer some form of content after all this impassioned war and peace length solilioquy about the scu (shrek cinematic universe) so here's an old WIP from forever ago im like 90% i havent posted here (if i have oh fuckin well tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) its a lil scene from chapter 2 of my death fic where he gets caught redhanded picking flowers for his crush because he's a dork ass loser and wants to impress her without coming on too strong lmao like bro she's so into you just go for it

[masqueradeoftheguilty]

its way too late for me to be posting this considering what class i have tomorrow but im in a Mood so

One aspect of Kaeya I've never seen discussed is the fact that he... possibly blames Diluc for their father's death.

In the Manhua, when telling the reader about Diluc's backstory, Kaeya explicitly states that Diluc "turned 18 and killed his old man" (note the accusatory tone, intended to imply Diluc killed their father for selfish reasons). This lines up with his character story in game.

Which seems all good and fine at a glance - Diluc had to kill their father due to his pain.

Except.. this doesn't quite match up with Diluc's character story or the actual scene in the Manhua.

Now to be fair, it could simply be a case of either not wanting the Manhua to be too gorey, or not needing that detail in Diluc's character story. It's not disproved. At most, it's more implied in the Manhua that Crepus kind of... dissolved into dust, which you can somewhat see in the picture above, particularly at his legs.

The point is, the only time Diluc is mentioned to have killed his father is from Kaeya's POV. Which truthfully can be quite easily explained as to why it's only from Kaeya but...

What truly makes me think Kaeya blames Diluc for the death of their father is this line from Venti's story quest:

Notably, Kaeya is prettt tipsy at this time, and this is also the only time her refers to crepus as "Father" (updated to a capital F since launch too!) instead of "Diluc's Father".

The whole line is.... bitter. Kaeya seems at worst upset and angry with Diluc - accusing him of throwing away their father's legacy just by selling off the manor, nevermind the fact that Diluc inherited the family business and boosted it's profits. It's accusatory and I'd go so far as to say that Kaeya is pretty much implicating that Diluc is a disappointment to the family name.

Combine this with the previous info, and it's quite easy to paint the picture that Kaeya thinks Diluc is at least somewhat to blame for their father's death, and is angry and bitter for it.

I personally think this is a very interesting angle, because Kaeya himself felt extremely guilty for being temporarily relieved for Crepus's death. It makes me wonder if Kaeya shifted the blame to Diluc after their fight and when Diluc left Mondstadt, possibly because Kaeya was bitter about their fight. During the attack itself, Diluc was the only vision-wielder and a captain of the knights - Kaeys could also see Crepus's death as a failure on Diluc to protect the people around him.

This has gotten long but the TLDR - there's just enough evidence to suggest Kaeya blames Diluc for their father's death.

[veeveex3]

bro, just a quick late night thought (keep in mind, im only caught up to twst's story up to the english translation and only know about book 6 via spoilers -_- so if im wrong then please don't spoil anything that happens in book 5 part 3 and onwards)

alright, here it is: i don't think that twst is gonna end at book 7. i dunno if the devs ever said the story was gonna end at book 7 or not so correct me if im wrong but i feel like there's so much we don't know that i feel would only be rushed if the game's main story were to end at the end of book 7.

for example: anything about crowley! all we really know about him is that he's the headmaster, claims to be very generous and kind despite being a lazy prick who dumps all his issues on the dorm leaders + yuu, and seems to avoid getting yuu home at all cost, either cuz it's tiring for him (which would be funny but sorta disappointing) or cuz he needs them at nrc.

another example: mickey fucking mouse. i think the plot with mickey is gonna be resolved in book 7 but i still can't get over his existence (#antimickeyclub ig lol)

i know the whole point of the game is to focus on nrc and the villain students but id like to see more of royal sword academy. like, i think rn the main purpose of rsa is to juxtapose itself to nrc as well as to be the school niege comes from since he's based off of snow white and you get the point

ive seen one theory on tik tok (ill put their @ at the end of the post at a later date) or somewhere else but the theory goes that the reason as to why overblots seem to be happening so often is bc the stone you were trying to get in the prologue is inside nrc and probably affecting the students more. i wanna add onto this more by saying that overblots are deadly, meaning the spirit attacking you in the prologue is either the dead dwarves (yikes) or the spirit that appears after the overblot victims either fused with the dwarves or roaming free after the dwarves deaths. im really tired so idek where this is going but that's just another reason ig that the story would feel pretty empty after book 7 if it were to end there

another thing is malleus. assuming that he's going to be the next overblot victim and the final boss for his book, that would be really weird to end the book after that since, after defeating each book's boss, prologue included, grim (like the little dumbass cat he is) decided to eat the overblot residue rocks that are excreted at the end of the fight (which also give a flavor profile of the person who overblotted ??? which is sorta funny ngl). and im 1000% certain that this isn't just a read herring and him eating the rocks is going to lead to, as most people suspect, grim overblotting himself (during the tutorial, you even fight a boss that looks like grim but with characteristics of the other characters: dragon wings (malleus) more agressive blue flames (iida) a lion like face / muzzle (leona, which i know is a reach but still) as well as some of the abilities introduced in each book (idk i didn't really pay much attention to the tutorial lol)

so yeah, tldr; it doesn't make any sense to end twst's main story at book 7 unless they either add an epilogue where grim blots or at the blot sequence after malleus' boss fight, which would be pretty cool ngl, sorta like a little curve ball

im sorry this is so long, I just had a lotta thoughts and dumped them here lol

edit: I KNOW I JUST POSTED THIS BUT I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING! y'know how there's 22 students in the game? well, there's also 22 cards in the main arcana. given how clever the game can be, i don't this is just a coincidence. might make another post just on this specially since i like tarot cards and stuff like that

[weebsinstash]

I’m new to this blog a bit but I came across this blog from your Valentino x readers, idk if anyone has asked u this and I’m sorry if they did 😅 but do u plan on continuing them or any other Val x reader fic?

Honestly I've been having tons of ideas for him and other things I want to write, it's just become a big, motivation and depression issue. I keep having days and weekends off where I just sleep or smoke and do nothing and then I have anxiety that I didn't get anything accomplished and it's become a negative loop of "do nothing bc im stressed or unmotivated>feel bad for doing nothing>do nothing bc I feed bad about doing nothing>wash rinse repeat>live in constant disappointment and self hatred"

Honestly I've been trying to encourage the mindset of "dont force it! You aren't obligated! You're ok to take it easy" but I actually think I've been taking it easy for so long its just becoming easier to. Not write at all, so, im thinking it might actually do some good if I DID try to sit down and force it on my next day off. Just to get the ball rolling a little more

But uh... I still feel really stressed and messed up over stuff that's happened to my sister and unfortunately a lot of the ideas involving Valentino usually have to deal with.... you know, being taken advantage of while under a substance or things that are similar enough to her story i just. Feel bad.

But anyways I gotta tell myself what happened to her is none of my responsibility and honestly she even weaponized it to make me feel horrible so, I dunno, maybe I've recognized thst the entire reason she even told me came from a manipulative mindset and I'm coming to terms with... enjoying my own stuff again, if that makes sense. Kinda had to absolve myself of the guilt, even though it has nothing to do with me

Kinda everything above has to do with me writing in general but anyways, to get back to like, this big fluffy asshole specifically

99% of why I haven't written more for him is that I feel like I have to do more research to get his character down, and specifically? His manner of speech, since I found out a lot of fics I want to write usually deal with him making a lot of threats and being very dialogue heavy. He's only verbally spoken in the Angel Dust comic, and his Instagram can only be found through archived tumblr posts (because antis reported the account for misogyny, because that's the level of nuance and understanding adults have on the internet now I guess) and like, what if that's not reflective of his personality, what if that's just his online persona. What if I create some sort of weird cringe offshoot that isn't very canon correct.

Like. From my perspective Val is usually very, sassy and flamboyant in a very "fuck you, im being myself, im the boss, eat my shit, fuck with me and I'll cut you" kind of way, but he's also basically a mafioso and deals with drug deals and the mob and shit like that and can obviously be very threatening and serious. So I guess it's finding that balance? Like what's the ratio of Mean Pimp vs Sassy GNC partying slut, kwim. I guess that's an idea in of itself I keep having for a Reader x Val fic; Reader having so much fun partying and indulging in the worst parts of themselves with Val that they forget who he is and where they are until some sort of horrible epiphany or consequence is staring you right in the face

Like. Im definitely reading too much into it. Its 100% I dont want to write something and then the show comes out and my stuff seems like, cringe. I mean, even more cringe than me writing yandere content in general but 😅

TLDR: yes, I have a lot of ideas, im just an easily embarrassed little cringey baby who's reading too much into it and wants it to be enjoyable but accurate and im also having motivation issues

[darlington-v]

hey i read ur addition to my post and i just have to say like -- MASSIVE agree with absolutely everything. u totally summed up every thought i had that led up to me making that post LMFAO including the frustration with streamers over them just.... dropping off the earth and not wanting to seem entitled but also kind of wondering "hey what the fuck" ???? and while i love the drive wilbur and quackity have, i know theres not much they can do if all these other CCs have just decided to be MIA without warning. idk its so sad because it really feels like the smp is dying for sure and the lore is one of my favorite parts of being an mcyt fan <///3 SIGHHH -isaiah (aetherknit)

YES!!!! exactly dude!!! like i agree like while i love this drive some of the other very clearly dedicated and creative creators have, it worries me that some of the other creators who are necessary to drive this plot along just don't have that.

and i agree! like lore has been one of my favorite things, and i hope like this doesn't make them feel like... boxed in to one form of content, because theyre absolutely not! like i think many people do enjoy their content that's not focused on lore

however? a large portion of us DID come from watching the dream smp so it feels like such a massive let down and disappointment and like i said disparaging to see these creators just like put it on what feels like an indefinite hold? like, again, maybe im catastrophizing and being pessimistic, but like... i don't know how to remain hopeful when all we have is radio silence like...

we don't really get any updates or even like... a time when we will for sure have lore. again, like i had said before, like... the only thing reassuring is what wilbur said about what he has planned, because it has like a definitive number, and we know that quackity likes to do big cinematic lore streams and has always pulled through.

everyone else surrounding big storylines just feels... like... empty? i guess. there have been a LOT of empty promises from others and it's just kind of demoralizing.

and i mean? i know that there are definitely other people doing lore but it feels very... like... just not cohesive because it's very clear there are a group of people whose stories are intricately tied to one another while like people like ponk and puffy only have like a few threads into this story?

and it honestly feels like an injustice. like... that's not to disparage or degrade their lore, i've seen both of their lore before and it's genuinely outstanding, it's just like... kind of a shame because i'm not compelled to watch it when it's not really pushing along a big plot that the story clearly has now.

and like, yeah that's my own problem i guess but to argue like lore is still going on it's like yeah but this clearly very big plot with a LOT of loose ends and like was promised that it was leading somewhere big has felt like it's fizzled out!

and like!!! i don't think it has especially if they would just communicate what's going on so we don't all lose interest because we don't know if we're going to get the emotional payoff we signed up for.

like, i would just really like some communication because right now it's very frustrating and it feels unfair because like there's not even a real way to get this across to them that if they would just give a date or better explanation than something vague like "scheduling isn't working out" then i think interest would hold pretty strong and i definitely think morale wouldn't drop so low?

not to be a homestuck, but i know when the comic would take breaks or pauses there would be like this MASSIVE influx of fanart and fan-content because we knew we would have to make stuff to keep each other occupied until it came back! and like... it was good and it held many people's attention to wait so long and like continue to indulge in this piece of media.

like if the dream smp over arching plotline and lore was going on hiatus (understandably so) until they can collectively get their shit together, then i just wish they would give us a date until they think everyone will be able to participate? because like. it gives everyone a time frame and also something to look forward to.

no one wants to be left hanging and its much easier to cut shit clean off and like let it go when they are left hanging, so in these periods of down time with little to no communication, the fandom regarding this piece of media wanes.

TLDR;

i wish dream smp creators other than wilbur and quackity would communicate more clearly with their fanbase in regards to lore because waiting with radio silence will only lead to disinterest.

waiting with a date can build excitement and the fandom can definitely hold each other over with aus and fan content amongst ourselves.

i just wish someone would be more clear about what was going on.

[ronsenburg]

i saw this post and IMMEDIATELY started writing an essay, so I moved it here so as not to clutter up someone else’s post...........

it absolutely blows my mind that, today in 2021, i honestly can’t remember what’s canon from the turnabout serenade case, what i read in a fanficition, and what is my own personal HC. like, it’s been more than a decade since i played the case for the first time and it’s probably been 5ish years since the last time i played AJ (definitely forgot to play it again before writing youngblood which is.... contributing to this) so i really don’t know if what goes on in my head is accurate, but, over the years, i’ve come up with a Lot of Thoughts, which i’ll discuss below. 

tldr; it’s all about power (the desire for, the subversion of, the need to maintain), but if you’d like the specifics, here you go:

daryan: i think the explanation that he did it for “the money” is a line. please don’t mistake me, daryan is an asshole and a murderer, im not discounting that, but in court ive always thought that he was playing the part that everyone- especially klavier- is expecting of him. he’s the bad guy. might as well make it a finale for the books.

i’ve always seen daryan and klavier as opposite sides of the same coin when it comes to family and career aspirations. where i imagine klavier came from a well off and well loved family before his parents died, i see daryan from a working class, difficult upbringing. i read a few papers on the psychology of children/parenting style of police officers and decided early on that daryan’s dad was also a cop. his mother is either dead or (more likely) left them early on. dad coped by working a little too hard, gambling/drinking a little too much, and was overall not around a lot and kind of an authoritarian/controller when he was. it left daryan with a lot of anger he had to cope with, about what it means to be a cop, the idea of a “just cause” and the ends justifying the means, and an issue with authority (which is laughable, considering what a bully he turned out to be. sometimes we emulate our parents unintentionally; it’s the only thing we have to model our behavior on). so daryan started off at a disadvantage. klavier started off loved and supported and surrounded by expensive belongings, but the death of his parents and the subsequent emotional and financial abuse by his newly appointed guardian/brother left him in a similar place by the time he and daryan met. i think it was probably the foundation for their bond, and i think it’s why klavier decided to become a prosecutor instead of following in his brother’s footsteps and why daryan ultimately decided to enter law enforcement as well. i think they had a lot of optimistic, idealistic thoughts on being better than the people that hurt them, on utilizing the law to make the world a better place. i don’t think klavier ever conceived that kristoph could have wanted him in the prosecutors office as another pawn to play, and i don’t think he realized how fluid daryan’s morality could be.

shipping alert—you guys know me, im crazy for the idea of a “best friends to on again off again lovers to tenuous coworkers to bitterly disappointed in but still harboring feelings for the other person despite being on opposite sides” dynamic between daryan and klavier. i honestly can’t separate the ship from the case and im sorry about it. if you read youngblood you know that i think daryan started to resent klavier pretty early on, when they were still together, when the band was still successful, because klavier was able to move forward and work through the issues of his past while daryan was seemingly stuck. yes, daryan had made detective and the gavinners were a hit, he’d risen above his initial social standing and thrown off the control his father, he had money and fame and a future. but everything he had was because of klavier. daryan needed klavier, emotionally, morally, financially. but even when klavier was professing his love for daryan, both privately and in the form of chart topping songs, he didn’t need daryan. it was obvious (and of course, healthy, but how do children of abuse learn what a healthy relationship looks like without help? especially when the only relationships you’ve ever had are codependent and, in some ways, just as toxic?) and so things spiraled. daryan got possessive and angry again and klavier got distant and they broke up and got back together and broke up and didn’t get back together but kept ending up back in each other’s arms for comfort and for support and because how the hell do you move on when the person you’ve been in love with since you were 15 is sitting next to you on a tour bus and is also your partner in a homicide case and singing songs he wrote about you on stage in front of thousands of screaming fans?

okay, shipping glasses off, sorry. but no matter how you look at their relationship, daryan’s promotion out of homicide was probably the most distance they’d had from each other in years, as it removed a large chunk of the daily “working relationship” aspect. and without klavier there to act as a moral compass, it was likely easier to slip back into his earlier thoughts about what constitutes justice and his intense hatred of being pushed around by someone who has more power than you. so enter the chief justice with a son who is sick, dying even, but can’t get the medicine he needs because there’s a government out there telling them no. The reasons are arbitrary: the medicine could be used as a poison and can’t be found anywhere else so it might come back to bite the country in the ass if it’s misused by criminals. newsflash: pretty much all medicine is poisonous if it isn’t used correctly, should we stop using penicillin entirely because some people might be allergic to it? they’ve essentially condemned a whole bunch of people to death because they’re worried about their reputation. and that doesn’t sit well with daryan, who is caught up remembering the bullshit justifications his dad would spout when he knocked him around, that kristoph would give when withholding every single penny of money klavier was entitled to until he agreed to do what kristoph wanted. it isn’t right, it isn’t fair and unfair laws shouldn’t have to be upheld, especially when they’re the unfair laws of a country you most definitely did not swear to uphold and protect. it was never about money, though daryan agrees to take it when the chief offers it to him, more for his comfort level than for daryan’s need or desire. it’s about justice and putting a bully in it’s place with a (seemingly) victimless crime that should be so easy given his role in the international division of criminal affairs and klavier’s sudden hard on for the country of borginia. seriously, how could this have been any more straightforward? daryan is capable of murder, though. all cops are. and if it came down to a “them or me” shootout, of course he’d pull the trigger. 

machi: when you come from nothing, the desire to have something of your own is overwhelming. the idea that machi is famous and financially set is disingenuous; he is not individually famous, he is Lamiroir’s “blind” pianist. yes, she views him as a son and seems to care deeply for him, but his main purpose in her life is to perpetuate a lie. machi has been abandoned before; what will happen to him if lamiroir suddenly remembers who she was in the past? what if she has a family and a true son of her own and has no use for him? what if their secret is found out and the public rejects him for his role in it? he is 14. what does he know about being provided for? about contracts and trust funds and royalties? he ended up in an orphanage originally because he was unwanted, and that led to a life of poverty and hardship. abandonment issues are rooted in fear and are rarely logical. i find it far easier to believe that machi did it for the money, but more for the power money might have given him towards independence in an unfeeling and capitalist world.

kristoph: i won’t get into this, because this is supposed to be about daryan and machi and the guitar’s serenade, and kristoph is not really involved in that at all. but i think everything that kristoph has ever done in the game, good or bad, is rooted in a pathological need to constantly be in control. i think that kristoph and klavier both have very intense personalities that they have sought to control over the course of their lives for the sake of their careers. kristoph believes that to be a good lawyer, you need to play your cards close to your chest, that to show your hand is to expose a weakness that the enemy can exploit, that to show no weaknesses at all places you in a position of power. klavier believes that to show his true self, to display his weaknesses and fears to the public, would result only in their rejection. as such, they both wear masks of their own creation even under the most intense of pressures: kristoph as pleasant and calm, klavier as magnetic and dynamic. note the primary difference in their rational? klavier wants to be wanted, while kristoph wants power. and power corrupts, after all. once you have it, what could be more overwhelming than the idea that you might lose it all? it can drive even the most rational people to commit acts of passionate irrationality in the name of holding on to that power. and kristoph has so many pieces involved in his strategy to maintain.  

[lavenderek]

this is gonna be "queer discourse" feel free to skip

look as a disclaimer, i don't usually participate in this conversation because it's exhausting and it literally never goes anywhere? all that happens is one side writes feature length symposia on queer history and the other side feels talked down to and attacked and refuses to read it and both sides just start ignoring each other's arguments and they get further entrenched in their own perspective and nobody learns anything or bridges any gaps. im just becoming an old crone like that was too loud, i share characteristics with the hag

but we keep having power outages over here and it's disrupting my work and making me cranky so buckle up because betps coming to town

it's just that i didn't really enjoy this persons argument* because the entire point of an umbrella term is not having to give detailed disclosures of your identity lmao. like the whole purpose is for everyone to be included without having to prove themselves. including and especially you! op says they know they're gatekeeping so like at least they're self aware lmao

but i don't actually have to show you my fukken gay diagnosis papers to prove to you i'm not just a "cishet who's a little quirky" lmfao what're you a cop? mind your business shgdikfs

nobody is claiming queer has never been a slur. where has anyone ever claimed that. if you manage to muscle your way through those long ass speeches pro queer people write they all pretty explicitly lay out the history of the term. over and over again. from different users. because they're all pretty convinced y'all don't know about it. i assumed you did and they were preaching to the choir.

long story short it's been used to refer to the community for generations, it's also been used as a slur for just as long, and it's your personal choice whether or not you identify with it but you can't take it away from me.

also hey you know what while we're here on my blog i might as well put my shit out there, i don't actually care that queer studies are called queer studies in academia and i don't care if straight people refer to the queer community. once they start saying "queers" or using it as an insult they're over the line. homophobes who make fun of lgbtq for being too long can leave but it is unwieldy to say verbally and no i don't care if you think that's a shitty comment to make. i think the only reason lgbtq hasn't become a slur people have yelled at them is because it's so unnatural to say out loud lmfao okay wait actually that's actually kind of a power move. like when prince started identifying as a symbol and a ton of places had to install new software to be able to write about him

also it's my opinion that microlabels are actively detrimental to identity and community. it starts being about specifically designating an identity that includes an extremely small amount of people so that you can shrink the definition to remove people you don't agree with 🤖 the rainbow flag was never intended to be specific to gay men, it was always supposed to be for the entire community. i think finding pride and acceptance in your own identity is gold and diamonds but i don't think it's helpful to designate yourself a myers briggs score of what type of queer you are and why bi people are different at the expense of connecting with the community as a whole.

like what's the barrier here, is it the terfs? do you not want to be queer because there's terfs? terfs are no more welcome in the queer community than racists are, like help us clean up our community we all live here. sorry! we're family! maybe you don't want to be family with me but you gotta! as soon as i decided to be gay it stopped being optional please grieve and move on

idk i think you should extend your f*g argument to the other side of the conversation. im sensing some strawman bias over there. seems like you're super frustrated and that's heavily informing your perspective on the topic. but nobody asked me! probably because i'm just a fake queer who's actually just a quirky cishet. oh fuck that's why you don't want to be under an umbrella with me. welp 🤷‍♀️

tldr i'm queer and bisexual, sorry to disappoint anyone who is just now finding this out about me! if you unfollow please don't let me know about it! please also don't reblog this!

smell ya later!

*please don't contact this person if you disagree with them lmfao leave them tf alone they're allowed to say what they want on their own blog

[yhyongguk]

━ ❖ (im jaebum, male, he/him) hey, thank you for coming to town hall to update your information ae yongguk! you’re a citizen correct? good to know! are you enjoying yourself around yunhwa? you’ve been staying here for around seventeen years right? i’m glad! remind me, are you born on 06/01/1995? we’re so lucky to have someone so reliable around as a stall owner even if sometimes you can be evasive. hope to see you around house #4012, hwesakgu!

 ¦   profile   ¦   personality   ¦   background   ¦   plots   ¦   trivia  ¦    tracker   ¦

hello again, everyone! this is nari presenting to you this impending disaster named yongguk. he runs a stall called “kodachrome” where he takes photos for ids, sells prints as well as books sessions for photoshoots. every couple of nights, he works as a bartender at his aunt’s bar in busan (for extra money) and is proudly drummer of a band. (yes, he keeps busy so he doesn’t have time to think). his pages are linked above but here’s a tldr:

his parents work in the field with doctors without borders.

yongguk was born in seoul and lived there for six years before his parents sent him to yunhwa to stay with his grandparents while they went abroad.

seven years passed, his parents would rarely contact them, much less visit them.

in the meantime, his grandma taught him how to play many instruments, being a musician herself and he was enrolled in kwangsook academy.

at thirteen they returned and guk moved with them back to seoul. around this time he became more reserved and quiet, the conversation always focused on his parents achievements and interests.

he made it his goal to become a doctor in hopes of having something in common with them. it was a way to seek their attention and approval.

a year later, a new plan was announced and yongguk was back in yunhwa with his grandparents. he was actually pretty happy about this.

started taking his studies seriously in his junior year of high school, going to the extent of dropping music and every other altogether.

he successfully managed to get into pusan national university, school medicine.

however, the whole experience was something he wasn’t ready for at all. for a year and half he struggled to keep up with his classmates and was utterly ashamed to compare his simple goal of wanting to get closer to his parents to the drive of everyone else.

he drops out after talking with his grandfather, a successful doctor himself.

initially excited to get the chance of truly discovering what he wanted to do, a single call from his father deterred his enthusiasm. he was supposed to return to yunhwa, instead he decided to move in with a friend and stay in busan… where everything goes downhill.

at only twenty and under the fake pretense that he’d get his act together, he allows himself to make mistakes and act recklessly, secretly wishing that’d be enough to get his parents attention.

he found temporary jobs all around busan and never lasted too long, but he still made money and that’s the only thing he really cared about at the moment. things aren't great, but they aren’t that bad, or so he tells himself.

at twenty one, he gets a full sleeve on his left arm as well as many piercings. a couple of weeks after this, his grandparents decided to pay him a surprise visit and the state of his apartment as well as life… is not optimal.

coincidence or not, his parents video called them at that moment. it was the first time he heard from them in a year, and it was the last time as well.

seems like only his appearance was enough to finally trigger some sort of emotion from his father, but it wasn’t really the kind he was looking for. it was anger and he could clearly see the disappointment in his eyes. a heated argument ensues, one that ends with “you’re not our son anymore.”

perhaps it came a little too late, but it was the much needed wake up call to get his act together. not in order to mend the relationship with his parents, he knew that’d be impossible. but more so, for himself.

he perks up at a suggestion from his grandmother, one that was about a long forgotten hobby of his: photography. he remembers an old shoe box filled with polaroids and undeveloped films under his bed.

thus, he stays in busan after enrolling in a community college for a year-long photography class. around this time, one of his aunts offered him a job as a bartender in her bar and since then he’s been helping her every now and then. he says it’s for extra money, but in reality is a way to repay her from hiring him when no one else would.

after he was done with his course and had saved enough money to get a decent camera, he decided it was time to go back to yunhwa.

he returned three years ago. luckily, his reputation there remained intact and he wanted it to stay that way thus hiding the ink on his skin with long sleeves and removing the jewelry whenever he was outside.

yongguk moved back with his grandparents, this time to help them out and take care of his grandmother who started to get a little ill. he picked up playing and making music after finding his long abandoned drum set in the garage.

with the help of his grandfather, he opened his very own stall called “kodachrome” where he takes photos for ids, sells prints of his own work (mostly of yunhwa’s scenery) as well as books sessions for photoshoots.

a year and half ago, however, he had to find a new place. his grandparents decided to retire and move to jeju. thankfully, he managed to get a deal to rent a house from one of his grandma’s friends. the house was a little too big thus he decided to post an ad online looking for roommates to share the space and ease the expenses.

in the present, yongguk is still running his stall and getting contacted every blue moon by small influencers and event planners looking for his services. three nights a week, he goes back to busan to work for his aunt at the bar and every other night he has gigs with a band, which was randomly created after having far too many drinks with his roommates.

it’s not a tldr at all, lmao. i’m sorry but if you made it this far... ily. if you’re interested in plotting, please drop a like in this post and i’ll reach out to you!

[phoenixdnasty]

idk leaving the she ra fandom was excellent for my mental health. i argued w so. many. ppl. and honestly... for what?? s'not like anything changed. i still like glimmadora and the earlier seasons, but the whole experience left such a bad taste in my mouth. its def taught me a lot about fandom spaces and interacting w others. at some point it gets unhealthy. i was such a massive stan of she ra and glimmadora, it actually physically upset me when the show ended and it seemed like no one cared about the catgirl's actions throughout the show. its stupid. that was stupid. my feelings and other ppls feelings were valid, but arguing on the internet about ships is stupid and life is so much more simple when u just keep to a small circle of like minded ppl. i still dont like c/a and think it could've been done a thousand times better, but at this point, its been over a year, ive moved on. i checked the tag one more time for old times' sake and its just ppl either shitting on the ship itself or the stans. same shit, different day, even over a year later.

i feel like toxic shit was said and done on all sides of the ship wars. i know i def said and did some stupid shit. it felt like it mattered back then. and it did, to me and the hundreds of ppl i engaged w.

idk man, having those experiences and seeing just how bad it got and how venomous ppl can be made me kind of not want to dive deep into another fandom space. ive poked my head around the owl house fandom briefly, but only to take some art and a cute headcanon and go.

u know what, while I'm rambling, i think i can tldr this. stan culture is scary and toxic and u need to be careful to draw the line somewhere before it starts bleeding into real life.

im apprehensive about ever stanning anything again. you get all these expectations in your head about the way u want things and the way things are supposed to be, and when u dont get those, its... devastating to say the least. and idk man, stanning anything/anyone... there's bound to be a lot of disappointment. ive seen stans on twt do some fucking WILD things to ppl they disagree w, or perceived enemies.

its toxic. i realized it was toxic, and i left. stan culture. man.

[matoitech]

How do you think galo feels about burning rescue and remi? Do you think he gets along with them?

oh this is a good question i think like ultimately it could b hard 2 say and how i get 2 my response is either following implication or just taking point a 2 point b w my understanding of galos character.. i think id say he gets along with them as in, galo and his coworkers have enough of an understanding to work functionally as a group by the time the movie happens, and he will hang out w them after work occassionally like when they went 2 the pizza place, but how good of friends they r if theyre friends at all... its hard to say. its like. other chars treat galo a certain way bc he is autistic and i think he is more aware of this than is generally made out 2 be by fans (i dont think hes as oblivious as fans think he is anyway). he DOES react 2 things they say (he is more obviously hurt by things they say in the ova and then doesnt react as much in the movie but i dont think thats bc he thinks its ok, i think he just got used 2 it unfortunately). he is aware he doesnt rly click with any of them even tho he genuinely tried in the ova and was shut down bc his teammates just do not communicate the same way galo does and make no effort 2 learn. and i dont feel like thats something that will necessarily change- i dont think theyre going to suddenly realize that how they treat him is kind of shitty and make an effort to stop, unless an outside person or force brings it up w them (cuz i doubt galo will). so i think galo is always going to have a level of detachment from them bc they did shit that WAS hurtful and theyre not going 2 apologize and even if they did its hard 2 rly trust ppl after that or assume theyre not just silently thinking ur an idiot or whatever.

i think its most likely that galo esp during the beginning of the movie b4 his relationship w lio progresses is he just feels kind of lonely and disappointed w his coworkers, not rly interested in trying 2 form relationships w them now again unless THEY extend that olive branch first. he was polite 2 aina at the lake even tho she was kind of rude (they were Trying to communicate gbfhbg), i dont think hes AGAINST spending time w them i think he just decided it probably wasnt gonna work out w only him trying and he’d better focus his energy elsewhere. however. i would say that judging by galo reacting more 2 what remi says than other chars (since remi is a lot more obvious w looking down on galo 4 being autistic, the dudes literally canonically ableist) galo probably gets along w remi the Least. generally my interpretation is that he dislikes like remi but i dont have a whole lot of canon backing besides ‘if someone said that to me i would be mad as hell at them’ and i think neither remi nor galo is interested in being friendly after that one. sometimes i see ppl write lio and remi as being friends and im like.. u think lio is friends w someone who treated his husband like That??

but like. galo has lio now and i think theres potential for him 2 get along w lios friends as well more than burning rescue so hes not gonna be friendless or anything and also i think there is potential for galo 2 b able 2 get along w aina, he seems 2 get along w lucia best and maybe varys, but just from what we have in canon. i dont theyre friends Right Now (except potentially galo and lucia?? im really not sure abt that they DO get along better than the others and spend more time 2gether working on mech stuff and powerpoints apparently, id say theyre probably friends?). galo and burning rescue COULD be friends. but i dont think theyre besties during movie events, as is a common interpretation (which i dont dislike or anything bc i get it, i want galo and burning rescue 2 b friends too) i think its like a difference in whether u view things from burning rescues pov or galos bc burning rescue probably thinks theyre treating him well :|

so. tldr. galo works well w burning rescue as a team but they really do feel more like coworkers that might b friends w each other but you r not included than a group of best bros. galos the newest, youngest, and also is autistic and all that influences his relationship w them. and theres a lot of reasons galo was willing 2 risk everything 4 lio and the connection and understanding they had w each other, and galos a good compassionate person who would help ppl in need regardless but him feeling sort of on the outs and lonely and not connected 2 anyone until lio is kind of a piece of the story imo

[stevesharrlngtons]

Hello!!! please let us know if it is worth watching Battlecreek because I am ready for Henry but I may not be ready for the rest of whatever goes on and need your review 😂💗

ok! writing this as the credits roll lmao. this will have no spoilers, cross my heart. also, this is just my opinion, so pls take with a grain of salt. 

overall? it wasn’t the worst movie i have ever seen, but it wasn’t good. it was chalk full of stereotypes and overused tropes, which i don’t mind when done right but like, they weren’t done right here so -- 

allison (the female lead) and henry have very little romantic chemistry. a lot of the movie seems very forced/unrealistic bc of this. i feel like this movie would have been better if they were siblings or friends? idk. forced hetero romance makes me sigh lmao. allison could have been a really well developed and nuanced character had the writing and pacing of this movie been better, which is disappointing. to me, she (and sadly all of the characters) were very one dimensional. 

the southern accents in this movie, goddamn, some were so just bad... again, lay on the southern stereotypes and tropes! 

every character, with the slight exception of henry, is a character you’ve seen a million times before and just done worse here. the message/plot --  same thing (felt very fake deep). the dialogue for the most part is mediocre and at some points cringe, i said this in my original post, but it reads like very melodramatic fanfic dialogue. for me, the big selling point in a drama like this, is strong character connections (good or bad) and well written dialogue to move the audience and bring on emotion, and we get neither in this film (beside the relationship between henry and arthur) there were points in the movie were i felt baffled that someone read this screenplay and decided to buy it and then make it. though, it is just a run of the mill romantic drama, so i guess it makes sense, its commercial. but it felt like a knock off nicholas sparks movie. 

i did feel like if the three main characters (henry, tallulah, allison) had been given better dialogue, directing and pacing, this movie could have been a lot better. like the premise is basic, but all three actors are talented so i know they would have really relished in being able to stretch their legs in these roles, if the writing had been better and their characters had not been half baked. 

second to last thing, again with no spoilers, but WHAT THE FUCK is the last fifteen minutes of this movie??? it felt like the beginning to a totally different movie, or the ending to a movie i certainly didn’t just watch??? and like it’s just forgotten, immediately??? just... not good, anyways... 

last thing: mr. henry pearl, the real reason for this ask and not my very poor movie review. he is adorable, so fucking cute, i probably said “he’s so cute!” out loud a million different times watching this movie (thank god no one was home lol). not bill’s best performance (writing was bad im a broken record lol), but he is a good actor so he still does a good job! he is a very kind, gentlemanly man who loves to paint and read and loves poetry like???? how can i not love???? 10/10 would love and cherish forever. 

tldr: would i watch this movie again? no. if i want more henry, i’ll probably just youtube clips rather than watch this movie again. should you watch this movie? only if you’re bored or really want to. like i said, it’s not terrible, but it's pretty meh. if you don’t feel like watching 90 minutes of this just for cute soft baby henry, i’d just head to youtube and watch clips there. but, if you do watch it, it’s fun to just talk about loud at the screen and laugh at your own jokes. 

i feel bad that i sorta just ripped this movie a new one bc like it said, not the worst thing in the world! just not for me. if you want my thoughts with spoilers, i’ll do another post lol

[twoticky]

im begging u to post the review <3 im on my knees rn

ohhh boy here we go!

Julien's Super Official Review of House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

first of all i gotta say this is like the densest weirdest "horror" book you will ever read. no shit there are several pages just dedicated to naming nearly every famous building/work of architecture ever to exist! the majority of it is written in a faux-academic tone, so if that's already not your thing stop right here. or keep reading if you want to hear me rant about literature for many many paragraphs.

the basic plot of the book is that a man (will navidson) and his family move into a suburban house that seems relatively ordinary until they discover it's bigger on the inside. following this reveal a lot more weird shit happens, including a mysterious door appearing in navidson's living room leading... further in. HOWEVER -- and here's the big catch -- this isn't actually the subject of the book! this is the plot of a fictional film called the navidson record, and the actual text of the book is an analysis of the film written by a man called zampanô, EXCEPT that said analysis is actually a text found by the real narrator, johnny truant, after zampanô's death. still following?

i'm probably making it sound completely confusing and/or like a total slog to get through -- which it definitely could be, believe me! (and i haven't even touched on johnny truant's character. or the significant amounts of Deeply Unnecessary sexual content. did we really need a graphic description of a prostate orgasm, mark? did we really?)

and yet! there were some parts that totally slapped! i'm a total slut for weird horror and experimental fiction, and my absolute favorite horror trope is weird & haunted houses (i mean, even my url is based off that!). if you wished that shirley jackson's the haunting of hill house had a fiction interview with anne rice and contained quotes from homer you're in the right place. im already a bit fond of this book just for being so fucking weird, (how many times have i said "weird" by now? like five?) & the weirdness of house of leaves is pulled off surprisingly well. all three central characters have distinct personalities and voices that come through really clearly and johnny truant isn't necessarily a likeable character but god damn is he complicated! the story is disturbing, too, but the weird detachment of the format makes some of the creepiest moments lose their immediacy (not all of them, though). ultimately i think the way it's told -- including the boring parts -- are part of the story and altho i don't love all of them i respect them as choices.

my only real, genuine, bone to pick is that the treatment of women in the book is pretty ehhhhhh. you'll notice all three central characters are men, and johnny p overtly objectifies the women in his life in an Uncomfy way. (remember what i said abt all the sex scenes?) navidson's wife, karen green, gets to have a bigger part in the story as it goes on, and i'm not saying writing a misogynistic character always makes someone a misogynist, but, like, to my ladies out there i just want yall to have a full disclaimer.

tldr if you don't want to read my long rambling mess: this book is terrible to read AND well written AND totally insufferable AND the cause of all my nightmares <3 if you want to read a real weird book you won't be disappointed, but like... it's hardly light summer reading or necessarily y'know fun. i'm kind of conflicted on it myself, but for whatever it's worth im glad i spent many hours of my life reading whatever the fuck this was.

ALSO: i'd really advise looking up the TWs for this book b4 u read bc there's a lot of Heavy Content of various descriptions. thestorygraph has good community-sourced trigger warnings but if you know of any other sites pls drop em in the notes!

[geirskogull]

Steel Reign - Chapter 1: Urth’s Font

tldr gonna be a short series based around Danica and Odin since Urths Font ate five hours of my life once and This is how im getting back at it

Archive Link

Rating: M

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Leaves crunched under heavy, almost metallic, hooves. A sentry, high among the branches, snaps to attention, her white knuckled grip upon her spear tightening. Eyes narrowed, was this just another deer, wandering into the Font? Or some vain adventure not unlike herself seeking death and glory in equal measure? Or was this her target, her quarry, her hunt?

She held her breath, scanning the forest floor. Thinking back to the warm, dry rooms of the waking sand and the events that lead here this deep in the forest, alone save for the occasional squirrel climbing among the branches, curious what exactly the person shaped statue was doing in the trees.

“Pray, Lady Voss, art thee truly sure thee wish to go alone?” Urianger had asked her, not long after the two of them had finished parsing Lieutenant Scarlet’s urgent letter. Detailing the resurcents of the “Dark Divinity” Odin. The Primal so shrouded in myth, it was only fitting that he chose the Black Shroud as his hunting ground.

“What choice do we have?”  She had asked back. “The others are busy with equally as important business, and It’s not like I don’t know how to call for backup.”  Her voice had been sure, when in truth she had been far from the picture of confidence. Primals were group endeavors. Always the lot of them on the field together, not unlike the Company of Heroes. Or what was the group she’d been learning about recently? The Zodiac Braves? The Danica Voss of the present shook the thought from her head and focused back upon the sounds of the shroud.

It mattered not how she came to this situation, only that she was in it. Nestled among the trees, stalking the woods for sightings of the Dark Divinity with full intent to engage and hopefully dispatch him. At least temporarily.

In all honesty, she had very little faith O-App-Pesi’s plan to rid the woods of him forever was going to work. Especially with how little they knew about him. They knew not his origin. They knew not how he got his powers. They knew not who believed in him (though she had a theory on that one.) How were they sure that by killing him here that he’d stay dead? What made this place so special.

If the Padjal hadn’t been so adamant she immediately set out on her hunt, she’d have demanded she be given time to double check his research. She would have laughed, in another situation, even long after she had left the thaumaturges guild, it still had its claws in her in someway.

The forest was silent.

Dead silent.

She could hear herself breath if she focused hard enough. A smirk played at the edge of her lips, fools confidence. The time for waiting was over. The time for action was now.

Entering the clearing, she could see him. Armored from head to toe, atop a fiendish looking steed clad in the same black metal. The Master of the Hunt, perhaps about to be hunted. She watched him for a spell, barely breathing, committing every single movement - even those as simple as a roll of the primals neck - to memory. She found, over time, those same questions peaking into her minds eye, not as distractions, but as useful leads. How could she fight an enemy she did not truly know.

The Horsemen lead his beast towards the center of the clearing, and seemed to stall. Sheathing his sword unexpectedly and merely tilting his helm up in the rain. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think he was just a wandering knight of parts unknown, pausing to let the rain ease the stiffness in his old bones.

But he was a primal. An Unknown, perhaps even unknowable primal.

She, spear in hand, jumped from her perch in the trees to the wet grass of the clearing.

She would find out which it was. Knowable. Unknowable. God. Man.

Odin slowly looked down from the sky, following her path from the trees with obscured eyes. When she did not charge forward, he turned his horse to face her. Sleipnir she believed he was called, closer up he looked almost more voidsent than horse. Fiery red eyes, hair more akin to large feathers than a proper mane. She tore her eyes from the beast back to its rider, whose hand rested patiently upon his sword.

“Doth thou think yourself a worthy foe? Mortal before me.”

His voice echoed in the woods, the only sound for miles if she had to guess. His very presence breeding dread into the forest animals. She could feel that primal urge to flee into the night while she still potentially had a chance. Yet she stood firm. Yet she answered.

“I can’t speak for my “worth”” she started, her voice not betraying her shaken core. . “But I can speak for my curiosity. And if such a thing leads us to clash, so be it then ey?” She removed her spear tip from the ground, and began pacing around the primal. Far enough away she could retreat into the cloud tops if he advanced, close enough that she could watch him like a hungry animal.

If Odin could have, he would have smiled. Worthy prey indeed.

“Speak then, what is your query. Tis’ best to die without questions.” He kept his hand firm on the hilt of his blade. Helm tracking her movement, Sleipnir baying impatient. Part of her was disappointed that it need come to blows, another was surprised she saw any other outcome. She stopped her pacing, holding the primal at spear point.

“Who are you?”

The question rang out into the empty air, and the world itself seemed to come to a standstill. For the first time in their entire encounter thus far, Odin looked away. Odin faltered. With a smile on her face, she did not wait for his answer. Sailing through the skies with dragonfire in her veins, A hunter versus a hunter.

“Every Primal has a Story.” She spoke once more, diving backwards when his shield repelled her initial blow. Landing on her feet initially, she rolled to the side to avoid his mounts angry hooves.

“An Origin” Her strike rang true off the armor of the primal, a burst of aether signified. Yet one blow would not be enough. The primal drew his sword.

“Someone who believes.” She could not roll away, jump away, from his next series of blows. Thrown backwards by the force of Zantetsuken’s blows, all she could do was struggle to recover her footing. The blood trickling down her arm a sign of his own victory.

She stumbled back to her feet, taking a more defensive stance as the primal once again took note of her. The sword, she realized now, was beautiful. A massive curved blade of black metal that seemed almost to glow in the dark shroud.

“So tell me,” She began, as Odin advanced forward, fast. Realistically, he had the advantage on speed, but she had it on height. Jumping towards the edge of the clearing every time he grew close.

“Who are you, who believes in you?”

Those final words muttered, Odin once again faltered. His grip upon his blade less sure, less controlled. Yet, that made him no less Dangerous. What replaced the knights confidence was a feral rage as the Primal screamed at her.

Screamed at her and charged.

And thus, the fight began in earnest.

But thankfully, she was not upon her back foot. Charging as he did, Voss dodged the fell blade with precision and skill, looking for any gap in the black plate that might prove fatal. Rips? No the chest plate was solid. Knees? No the joints were welded with a masters hand. Helm? She couldn’t see his face beyond his...

Eyes, she’d aim for his eyes.

Jumping back, she landed hard upon the ground. The blood pooling at her feet proof of her mortality, proof of her humanity. Proof of where the primals blade had hit its mark. Her breath was coming heavy, apparently, in her search for weaknesses, she hadn’t realized the extent of her damage.

She would not stop now, not with an end so well in sight.

One for either of them. Perhaps even both of them.

The Primal raised his sword, high into the sky. Where it sparkled and gleamed with unholy intent. The Dragoons spear was held much the same, save her eyes were closed. The lights however, that congealed around both were different, antagonistic. Where one was a swirl of black and purple light, choking at her even then, the other was a brilliant blue. Taking the form of a Dragons head, as she leapt high into the sky. Hoping to find her mark.

Praying to find her mark.

When she once more opened her eyes, she was alone in the clearing, and her spear dug heavily into the ground as  a cloud of aether quickly dissipated into the cool night air around her. Victorious.

Dropping the weapon, she let out a mighty cry, and it was as if all the forest cheered with her. Alive once more. Oh they would never believe this. She couldn’t wait to tell them all. The Scions. Haurchefant. Hells, maybe she’d even track down Estinien’s grumpy ass and tell him too.

She fell upon her butt, laying back upon the ground, and let out a content giggle. Gazing through the leaves to the quickly clearing night sky. At least until she heard the wet clatter of another blade than her own hitting the ground.

Jumping defensively, half expecting the primal to be lying in wait with some kind of fell trap, she was greeted by the sight of his blade. Strange, she thought, should have gone away with him.

Then again, most of the primals she’d faced before then hadn’t used weapons. Claws, fists, talons, but no weapons. Perhaps those stayed? Relaxing her pose, she remained curious. Strapping her spear to her back she approached the fallen sword, so much smaller now that the primal that held it was dead.

Should bring this in for study, her tired mind urged her, Urianger would probably have a field day. It glowed still, brighter now under the night sky. It was so beautiful. Waiting for its owner to return.

If only she hadn’t reached out, and taken it.