#i know im overthinking this and its probably gonna be fine and im just really not used to casual dating but. aughhhhhhhh

[vampirejuno]

Am I Into This Person But Very Nervous About It, Or Just Going Along For The Ride Because Idk What I Want - And Other Paralyzing Questions To Haunt Your Weekend!

[foxstens]

the world of s3x toys sure is... something

[notanotherblorbo]

I'm so glad I finally have a job where I get to actually interact with people. Except for part where I am constantly thinking think "be normal be normal these ppl are cool and nice pls be normal no don't say poggers in front of them be normal be normal don't verbally stim they will hear you be normal be normal be normal be normal act normal do not bring up your hyperfixations they will think you are crazy be normal be normal brain pls shut up be normal memorise how to do this pls brain pls act normal act normal" because I'm not comfortable with or firmialiar with any of them yet.

[probablylia0]

hey 🤭‼️ hru? hope ur doing fine :p soo i was wondering if u can do argument headcanons with quackity 🤭? add others if u want 😽❤️‼️

Hii im doing good! Sorry if i was late to this I was taking a break, but ofc ill do argument headcannons!❤️

«F\s means favorite snack!»

Quackity Argument hcs 🦆

Sfw

When you guys fight he’d probably overthink after.

He’d tell himself things like “what if I went too far..” or “What if she leaves me..?”

He would feel really guilty after, even if it wasn’t his fault :c

one second he's all big and tough telling himself "I'm a grown man! I don't need her forgiveness!" and the next second he's on his knees begging for forgiveness.

He would probably end up apologizing first.

If he wanted you to apologize he'd do that thing where they get close to you too much.

Like him knowing you in the kitchen and he'd walk in every five seconds to "get a snack".

Imagine⬇️⬇️

Quackity apologizing first!

You and Alex had just finished an argument and Alex is standing by a counter resting his head on his hand. He can’t stop thinking about it and he does so many thing’s to try and get his mind off of it. He goes outside, he gets a glass of water, but no matter what, that feeling of guilt kept hitting him like a brick. He decided to apologize to you since he knew he couldn’t get rid of the feeling until he apologized. So he went and grabbed your f\s and made his way to your shared bedroom. He opened the door slowly and quietly and he saw you sitting at the edge of the bed staring at the wall. He slowly approached you and sat next to you. As you both sat there in awkward silence, he slowly turned to you and spoke to you softly, “Amor.. I'm sorry. We both said some things but I felt like I should apologize. Please forgive me amor.” He placed the snack in your lap, “and I brought a peace treaty..” He watched as you looked into your lap and smiled. “Fine. But only cause i was craving this..” You said while smiling. He looked at you and pulled you into a tight hug and then kissing your forehead.

You apologizing first!

You and Alex had just finished fighting and he's sitting at the dinner table going over the fight. He thought that since he always apologized first he'd give you a chance. Yes he was being salty but he just wanted too see. He explained to his friends the argument you had had and they "gave him advice".

"That wasn't even your fault! she should've apologized not you!" His friend yelled through his mic. "I know.. but I just cant stay mad at her.. I love her too much." Alex said slightly lowering his voice toward the end. "Oh. I guess that's a valid reason. But how about next time you guys argue and your certain its not your fault, you should give her a chance to apologize to you." There was some silence until Alex spoke up, "ok fine. next time I'll wait longer to see if she apologizes."

He was gonna keep his end of the deal. He waited and that guilt came back like always, but he fought it. A little later he was hunched over the table scrolling on his phone, but he was immediately awakened from his daydreaming when he heard footsteps in the halls. He tried to act like he didn't notice. "Hey, I'm gonna get food you want anything..?" He heard you ask and was visibly disappointed that you didn't apologize. "Oh- uhm, yea sure." he answered without looking at you. "Ok I'm getting TacoBell so ill just get what you usually ask for, mk?" He hummed yes and waited to hear your footsteps as you walked away, but he felt confused when he didn't hear you walk away. Instead he heard you walk closer. He heard you pull out the chair next to him at the dining table. "Hey, I'm sorry for starting that dumb argument. I should've probably just admitted you were right, but you know how I am.. Will you please forgive me..?" He smiled when he heard the words that came out of your mouth and looked up at you. You were so happy to see that cheerful smile of his again. He stood up and immediately hugged you from behind and began kissing your cheek. "By the way.. did you actually want food because it was just an excuse to come apologize.." He looked at you with an "Are you serious..?" look. "I don't forgive you anymore." He said as he stomped away and smiled as he heard you run behind him repeatedly saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please ill go get food!". It ended with you two happily eating TacoBell in the car together.

[lemonade-luvr]

I MEAN THATS AS FAR AS I KNOW. to be fair all i’ve heard abt it is You fucking hallucinate shit .thats literally it .

where the fuck did i get the idea you were having hallucinations then......... hmmm. however, i also dont get many hallucinations! at least not visual ones. im much more privy to tactile and auditory stuff!

im gonna infodump. autistic style. and if i accidentally desstroy your worldview, im so sorry. you have been warned.

IT GOT REALLY LONG SORRY FUCKKKKKKKK

schizophrenia is actually very similar to an autism diagnosis! at least from an outside perspective. it comes with flat tone and struggles with facial expressions and all that jazz! it can also make it really hard to think and leads to a very scattered mind??? idk how to describe it . because of the . well we call it brain scramble! i think its called something like word salad though.

the main defining thing about schizophrenia is the presence of psychosis, which is further defined by hallucinations, delusions and paranoia o^_^o

hallucinations CAN include seeing stuff that isnt there, though thats a really simple understanding of visual hallucinations. the visual hallucinations i tend to get are stuff in the corner of my eye and the walls kinda.. Shifting. nothing immediately distressing. but i know there are people with way more scarier things going on.

auditory hallucinations are something i experience a lot more, and theyre just.. hearin stuff that wasnt ever there. my brain loves the discord notification sound and like. splatoon sound effects. sometimes i hear someone yell the body's name!

there are also tactile hallucinations which is feeling a sensation that wasnt real. we get these ones the most. a good example isssss well rn im getting The Bugs. like buddy theres no bugs here you are feeling hair probably and yet even then i still feel it eugh eugh eugh. our headmates can make use of our tactile hallucinations to give me pats on the head though, which is nice o^_^o

delusions are simply believing something that isnt true wholeheartedly. i dont reallly like to share mine because im scared of people playing into them or thinking theyre cringe BUT i will share that we have fully believed ourselves to be in future london before. which is really fucking funny you are allowed to think this is funny. we are in the wrong country for that buddy. you can be fully aware that somethiing isnt true and still believe it! its fucked up! they should make that illegal. these are the mind killer i hate these little bastardsssssss... delusions are very versatile. its also like thinking mundane things are signs.... theres a lot to say on delusions.

paranoia is the one thats really easy to comprehend its just intense and unfounded anxiety. me when i overthink everything to death. me when everyone on the bus knows im gay.

also it makes it really hard to Word Shit. sometimes i cannot comprehend the english language despite it being the only one i fucking know. On that Topic. Sorry if this is Incomprehensible. i actually genuinely Cannot Tell. its usually fine but sometimes i just feel like i cant get ANYTHING across correctly.

impaired motor coordination is also a thing? which makes it hard for me to type sometimes and also do things like, idk, drink my monster energy without spilling it and pissing off charles. sorry charles. damn. UH theres also a lot of repetitive behaviours, and catatonia. it can come with memory issues and FATIGUE BIIIIITCH and BUDDY am i FEELING the fatigue today. AUGH AUGH AUGH.

oki think thats all i have to say on the matter unless u have questions

i feel so fucking nuts right now i dont know if its the rush of i just got to infodump or if im manic :sosonormal: <you are manic <thanks babygirl in my head. god i hope this is comprehensible

ONE TWENTY ONE GUNS 💥

[guavagyu]

lipstick - y.jh (part 2 of eyeshadow!)

QOWIHOWUOUWOEUWOYOUW PART TWO????

if ur seeing this before reading part 1 go read it!

request: "request: jeonghan fanfic where new stylist/makeup artist and jeonghan fall in love? slow burn, sexual tension, secret relationship typa thang ;) <3!"

ITALIC WORDS REPRESENT THOUGHTS! (exceptions included in dialogue and other spots)

wc: 815

gawd damn i let this go unpublished for SO long. enjoy lmao.

content/warnings: slow burn (duh), sexual tension (obviously), secret relationship (AASHGAJHGAJHS DUH), afab!reader, tall!reader (like same height as jeonghan aka like 178 cm or 5'10"), humor idk i think im funny, model!jeonghan cuz yum, stylist!reader, mentions of food + eating in this chapter, makeup-artist!reader, non-idol!au, swearing yihghgfdrtfyg, eventual smut lmao (not in this chapter tho!), lemme know if more r present or im gonna eat u /j

[prev!] [next!]

in the previous part:

since you were quite free for the rest of the day, you plopped down onto your heavenly bed and decided to research the company you were gonna work for. you already knew a ton about Ethereal Inc, you just wanted to look random stuff up, plus you were bored as hell. you were doing some digging around the web, and you- HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT! HE'S A MODEL!? AT REMINISCENCE!? OH MY FUCKING GOD I MIGHT HAVE TO WORK WITH HIM! yeah, and you really didn't know how to feel about it. there were pros and cons, aka you having to work with a gorgeous noble hot as fuck man who's name was apparently yoon jeonghan, however, he might be too embarrassed from this morning's events, and may refuse to work with you. were you just overthinking things? it's all a possibility, but you never know.

-------

after doing a shit ton more research, you felt like you knew enough about the company for a newly-hired employee. since it was around 6 pm and you were feeling hungry, you decided to go out and have dinner, but since you didn't know where, you just decided to wing it. you (reluctantly) left the luxury of your bed, and left as quickly as you could since your stomach was getting impatient. you marveled in the fresh air the moment you got outside, (a/n: yes, be like the reader and go touch grass) looking around for possible restaurants to quell your unbearable hunger.

soon, you find a suitable place to eat, checking its reviews online because even though the place may look fine, and the food may look fine, food poisoning is not fine, and you'd rather not risk bombing your toilet and be stuck with food poisoning so soon before your first day. walking in looking like a disheveled-zombie-who-also-looked-like-they-just-endured-the-wrath-of-a-mad-artist-who-was-also-a-nature-enthusiast is highly unpreferred. but, aside from that, after a quick reassurance that the restaurant was trustworthy and ordered your food, you made a note-to-self saying damn, this restaurant isn't actually that bad. soon, you got tapped on the shoulder by some not-so-random person named yoon jeonghan,

"hi, you're y/n right? you probably know who i am already," he asked sheepishly, and you nodded, remembering your fun encounter from before,

"that's me! and i must say, wow you're everywhere," you nodded and smiled when you turned around, which made jeonghan let out a light laugh,

"i am, indeed," he smiled too, "anyways, you know what happened this morning-"

"how many times do i have to tell you? it's fine, don't worry about it," you cut him off,

"hey, listen to me, you didn't let me finish,"

"ok, continue," you raised an eyebrow,

"yeah, so my manager told me to come find you because he told me that 'you bumped into your stylist and makeup artist whos gonna start on monday' and told me where you were, so...yeah, here i am,"

"so, we're gonna be working together?" you asked for clarification, which in the end, affirmed your worst fears. however, it also made you suddenly think, maybe this won't be so bad, leaving you a little confused,

"basically," jeonghan nodded,

"awesome," you smiled,

"ok, that's all, i'll leave you alone now. enjoy your food!" he waved bye as he walked away, so you decided to continue eating your food, not noticing the happy little grin on his face as he walked away.

————

“ah, sweet sweet bed,” you sighed after changing into your heavenly pajamas and flopping onto your bed, later getting back up to get your phone and scroll through instagram for a while, when a sudden notification pops up,

the fuck? nobody talks to me on instagram. (a/n: we're going to ignore the fact that i didn't include how he found your tag, just assume he got it from your manager or just searched up your name.)

surpise, surprise, it’s yoon jeonghan. he just followed you. super fun. and since you're bored out of your mind, you scroll through his profile cuz why not? oh wow, those are some interestingggg angles. mhm, yup thats a GREAT pic of a...what even is that??? after scrolling for a measly 7 minutes, you were just about to put your phone down and go prepare yourself for heavenly sleep, a loud DING made you drop your phone on your face. (a/n: cringe amiright? el em eff ay oh) bitch, my nose is broken now. you gave your nose a few moments of silence before opening up the startling notification,

@ hannie_hae:

hi y/n! sorry to keep bothering you, but i was just wondering if you'd like to meet up sometime and discuss some work things? i'd like to know what we're going to have to do before work starts so we're more prepared. let me know whenever you're free! :)

huh. slid into the dms like a champ. wait, when were you free? saturday maybe? oh yeah, saturday baby. 3:00? yes ma'am. oof, gotta play it cool, c'mon play it cool.

@ y/nconquerstheworld:

hey! that's a great idea, how about this saturday, 3:00 pm?

not too long after, another DING and a notification,

@ hannie_hae:

sure, is your place ok? i can also bring some clothes and makeup of my own, if that'd help.

wow. so. smooth. ha. ha. so cool, he's coming to your apartment. holy shit he's coming to my apartment. damn i gotta clean.

@ y/nconquerstheworld:

awesome! i got my own stuff already, but the more the merrier i guess. see you then!

@ y/nconquerstheworld:

oh, heres my address: *insert address*

@ hannie_hae:

see you then!

---

jeonghans pov!!!!

---

oh shit, i just did that. im so smooth. hashtag too cool for school. ok gotta pack, saturday is in 2 days. only 2 days!! i gotta make sure everything is perfect or else uh, yeah, more embarrassment than our first impression. dont wanna relive that.

---

your pov!!!

---

yup. this is great. gotta clean. ugh why did i agree to my place?? you just decided to let later-you to worry about it and prepared for bed.

----

© guavagyu 2022. all rights reserved. plagiarization, reposting, translating, and/or rewriting ANY and ALL of my works is prohibited.

[ase-trollplays]

--chronicallyMousy [CM] began trolling sandstormHuntress [SH]--

--chronicallyMousy [CM] began trolling sandstormHuntress [SH]--

CM: ...hello corali... (//:3 ...how have you been?...

SH: Eh, I been better, I guess. Some fucking

SH: Coward ass chicken shit's been leaving threats at my hive.

CM: ...what???...

SH: It ain't nothing to worry about. I ain't scared a nobody that can't threaten me to my face. Little annoying notes ain't gonna intimidate me none.

CM: ...corali... maybe you s-should take this s-seriously... ...did you upset or hurt anyone recently?...

SH: Just the usual rowdy drunks at the Jackhammer and the troll whose arm I snapped in half a perigee back for stabbing me.

CM: ...do you think its him?... )//:3

SH: Unless he wants me to snap every bone in his body, it better not be.

SH: He's been banned from the bar, and I ain't seen him since then.

SH: Fucker knows he can't take me in a fight, so he's trying to scare me.

CM: ...do you think a legislacerator might help you?...

SH: Are y'all kidding? Legis don't give a shit about lowbloods unless they're arresting, beating, or putting us on trial.

SH: I might as well ask my pa for help for all the good a legi will do.

CM: ...i just dont want you getting hurt... ...what if they escalate things?... ...if they already know where you live... and your hive isnt that easy to find or get to... imagine what else they must know... D//:3

SH: Don't y'all worry your pretty little head. There ain't a troll on Alternia that can scare me. You've seen your mate, and you know me and him go at it like pit fighters and he ain't killed or seriously hurt me yet aside from the occasional broken bone.

CM: ...but danny fights fair... ...whoever this is probably wont... and you might get killed or worse!...

SH: I'm telling y'all it's fine. Everything's gonna be fine.

CM: ... )//':3

SH: Ah come on, don't make little crying faces at me.

SH: It's

SH: Fine.

SH: I promise on my sobriety I can handle whatever the fuck's going on.

CM: ...just call me and check in every night for the next perigee... ...if i dont hear from you... im coming out there...

SH: Alright, if it'll make you feel better, fine. Expect to hear from me tomorrow.

CM: ...thank you... (//:3

CM: ...have you told darius?...

SH: Of course not. She's got better things to worry about, like her dress shop.

CM: ...darius is using s-she/her again?...

SH: Yeah, says it feels "right." Whatever, I ain't gonna judge her. She's my kiddo no matter what she calls herself.

CM: ...im trying to think of how to better explain gender to varoll... ...s-she only knows about cisgender boys and girls...

CM: ...and i told her that s-sometimes boys and girls look different than you expect... and s-someone you think is a boy is really a girl... and vice versa...

CM: ...but im not s-sure how to explain people that are transgender... or arent a binary gender at all...

SH: Eh, you're overthinking it. Kids will take whatever you tell them pretty much at face value.

CM: ...varoll isnt like that... though... ...not at her age... ...s-she wants to know everything in detail... and all the hows and whys...

CM: ...if i tell her that s-some people are just 'like that'... s-she might not accept that as an answer...

CM: ...but i dont know any other way to explain other genders to her...

SH: Dar's genderweird. Just scoot Varoll her way.

SH: Get her answers right from the hoofbeast's mouth. She's the one who taught me all this gender shit in the first place.

SH: I ain't gonna say I'm an expert, but I know enough. I'm sure she'd love to talk about it.

CM: ...are you s-sure?... ...i dont want to put that on her and make her feel like s-she has to...

SH: Trust me, Dar'll leap at the chance.

CM: ...okay... ...it would be a really big help...

CM: ...hows work?...

SH: Same shit different night.

SH: Throwing out people starting fights or getting handsy or giving the bartender a little too much lip.

CM: ...i really wish you would work s-somewhere else... ...im worried with you constantly being around alcohol and people drinking...

SH: Have some faith in me. It's been, what.

SH: Seven perigees now since I quit? And I haven't had a drop. I'm still going to AA, and I got you and Dar and Arri for support.

SH: Ain't nothing gonna make me blow this.

SH: I invite the universe to fucking try it. Can't be done.

CM: ...please dont tempt the universe... D//:3

SH: Y'all know I'm just messing. ;)

SH: Anyw

CM: ...corali?...

--sandstormHuntress [SH] is an idle chum--

CM: ...im going to call you...

--chronicallyMousy [CM] gave up trolling sandstormHuntress [SH]--

[emulation-0]

@cursedvibes ty for tagging me ik it was a while ago 😭

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

on my profile 32, i think? (but actually 35)

2. Whats your total word count?

59,890 tho i do have like 56000 more words in orphaned works

3. What fandoms do you write for?

primarily Jujutsu Kaisen, i had some ideas for other fandoms but those remain as wips... honestly after this tsumiki one im not sure i will be writing for a while siebjfneofneod

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

there's a fire in my brain and im burning up (itadori)

this tired old machine is a-rumbling (higuruma)

the devil's after both of us (itafushi)

oh, lay my curses out to rest (tokyo students + shoko)

oh, ashes ashes dust to dust (nobamaki)

(this makes me upset im not gonna lie cuz looking back and reading these im struck by how mid they are but sjdbdkneodks its whatever)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do for the most part !! i love receiving comments and i want people to know how much i appreciate it :) i also love when ppl reply to comments i leave on their fics so i want to do the same

6. what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ummm my Curses series was more one-shots without actual plot.. and as many of those were shibuya or post shibuya they were all pretty angsty beifbekdjeodk. i wouldnt say any have this kind of ending because then there would have to be a story. but i would say the saddest one ive written is 'keep running for the sink but the well is dry'

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

'light of a new morning' for sure. this one actually had some kind of development i would say. also i have bias because this is one of the only three ive written that dont totally suck. though the tsumiki wip im working on for sure will have an even happier ending

8. do you get hate on fic?

im not popular enough for that lol

9. do you write smut?

no

10. do you write crossovers?

i had one in mind a while ago but it escaped me... i never have before but that doesnt mean i never will, even if it is unlikely

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i dont think so

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no but id be honored if so. especially if it was one im proud of

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but im open to the idea

14. whats your all-time favorite ship?

i go through phases so i cant really answer this lol. my interest waxes and wanes. rn though im really obsessed with uroyuki and in a satosugu phase

15. whats a wip you want to finish but probably won't?

there is a shokohime wip i started two or so years ago about shoko's backstory and the developing of their relationship up until the present but at some point there was a research aspect to it and i thought 'ill do it later'. and then i never did 💀 id like to continue it but i still lowk think it will sit there.. i dont have enough motivation to do research ekdbfkenfkdk

there is also a trigun one i started, it was kind of plotless, just vibes, but i wasnt able to get their dialogue right and idk. maybe when i get into a trigun phase again ill find inspiration and continue

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think im good at describing a scene and emotions. im good at making this kind of poetry

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

im soooo shit at dialogue and even when im not shit at it i keep overthinking it and ruin it anyway lol

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i mean ive done it (but i orphaned those... lol) and im doing it now for the tsumiki wip so its fine i guess. but id only do it for languages that i know and if not, after profuse grammar checking. also ofc it has to make sense within the context of the story

19. first fandom you wrote for?

septimus heap eiebdkwbdkebd it was so bad

20. favorite fic you've written?

ill do you one better and say three... and these are the not-mid ones

light of a new morning (tsumiki and itadori)

after hours (mob and reigen)

before-the-storm bloom (uroyuki)

my writing style changed a lot and i think these ones emulate the way it is now the best

idk 20 writers but tagging @that-was-anticlimactic @zukkaoru @blackhallow and anyone else who wants !!

[intertexts-moving]

HHHHHHHHHHH

so funny story i saw that post you made some time ago when you were liveblogging the cloak scene, the "did it hurt" scene and it significantly changed my view

also ive never looked at their second meeting that way before. i have many thoughts re: first conversation, first interaction (? is it an interaction when you try to flirt with a stranger up the banister and they ignore you?,,, asking for a friend), but never paid much attention to the ehem conVENIENT "you fall i catch" thing beyond how weirdly interesting it is. since wkx has no romantic/platonic/personal-anything intention at all at that point, but subconsciously is very much drawn to the guy still. but yeah actually, this is kind of spot on. HH oh god fuck im not going to be normal about this. i thought i was insane when i clocked that their first conversation, when wkx starts talking about that butcher and about how it must be impossible for someone to have that level of skill as zzs being in disguise without any traces of it at all suggests, has so many layers already. hes speaking there as if he has perceived zzs without realizing it. perceived him as this guy who has basically made himself into a myth (like wkx himself!) and as this thing completely unattinable for him, a man mirroring him down to his soul and living a life he can only dream of. the yearning!!! ughghguhgg. the complete lack of self-awareness of it!!!! the hilarity of the situation because wkx is right, and he is literally only following a gut instinct, and he has no idea!!! i thought i was overthinking it a little. im glad im not alone there, seeing things in their first interactions that, without ever really being talked about, ripple deep into the story??

and oh a mutual tag! thats a great idea im going to do that too. siren is very much fine, what would you like me to tag you as?

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah yeahyeah ive been thinking abt this all day actually.. like. the subconscious recognition. the like. the inherent understanding the two of them have even b4 they know each other!!! first thing zzs ever thinks abt wkx is the "somehow, in this vast sea of strangers, he still found someone who understood." the first reaction he pulls out of wkx is that hey. huh. i was right? moment when he hears him echo that he was sunbathing. & its so indicative of how they continue on out from there- iirc, wkx never tells zzs he's the ghost valley master. zzs never actively tells wkx about the nails. or any of the other shit they have going on. its the. silent hunch & feeling things out & recognition... like fumbling around in a dark room except they find the light switch every time first try.

& YEAH i havent thought abt it that way b4 but u are SO right... the inherent hilarity of wkx just. really just making fifty educated guesses in a row about zzs and each one of them hitting spot on. the way that yeah the only reason that it. Works. is bcos they genuinely are mirrors of each other& all the things they see abt the other map back onto themselves too..

also GOD. i think abt the cloak scene & wkx's way of interacting w/ zzs so much.. this is. probably bcos i'm disabled (re: chronic fatigue & illness etc.) & i've had variously disabled friends & like... idk. i recognize it!!! the way he is like. "okay. i'm treating you like normal i'm not gonna be weird about it i'm gonna try not to make you uncomfortable about it. but nevertheless if you're in pain i'm going to help you in the most straightforward way possible. idiot. just because i dont treat you like you're glass doesn't mean i'm gonna let you hurt. just because your body is slowly running down like a broken machine doesn't mean i'm gonna treat you like you're made of glass. i want to do whatever i can for you though ok?".....makes me froth at the mouth NFNSDFKSDFD.

[batsinurbelfrey]

15 QUESTIONS, 15 TAGS

tagged by LA's #1 Boyfriend [gn] @18minutemajor

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYBODY? Not my first name, but my middle name is my grandmother's first.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Last night LOL, I got a Very Kind letter in the mail from someone I love very deeply, and I had just had a long and stressful day.

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? I always go "no, im not a person that counts pets as kids so i dont" but you know what. With Dai working her way through her FIFTH medical emergency of the year right now, im gonna say Yes. One. costs abt the damn same at this point at least lol

4. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? I DO. but it really depends on the situation, I have a deep fear of hurting someone's feelings who doesn't maybe Know me well enough yet and misreads me etc etc. Basically, the more I come to trust you, the more of a bitch I am. /jjjjjj

5. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED? As a kid I played Basketball, Baseball, Soccer [Defence and Goalie depending on the years] , and lacrosse. Soccer was my favorite I loved both positions and liked the coaches too, lacrosse I quit after a month because I was told the girl's team wasn't allowed to play full contact but the boys was and 12yr old me went full fucking protest mode. [which admittedly pissed the city off a bit because I was there on fully paid funding through a like "get poor kids off the streets" initiative fkladjslkgadsgl but-] My dad also tried to spend a summer teaching my brother and I to play tennis at the local rec center so he'd have someone to play with but I hated that too LOL

6. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE? Visually its usually just, whatever's the brightest color [be that like, hair, clothes, tattoos etc] but physically im def always watching for like, "what is their level of physical comfort right now" so i can overthink it and navigate the conversation with that in mind trying to hit all the right dialogue choices for their mood like a crazy person [*Points* GAD/ADHD] /lh

7. EYE COLOUR? Gray [but blue or green in certain lights, due to like color temperature and refraction n' stuff]

8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings, but ONLY if theres like. a little loss or sacrifice to get there and give it value. "feel good" movies almost always just Annoy me, they feel Empty and Dull. [but its totally fine if they are your jam. we dont yuck yums here]

9. ANY SPECIAL TALENTS? UHHH--- "i dont think so" sounds BAD lol. but maybe like "good at reading people" not in a bad manipulative way. but just in the sense of like. i tend to be the friend ppl come to when upset and confused and i watch and listen and then go "this is why you feel that way" and they are like "OH--- yeah... damn thanks that helps" etc lol

10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Washington DC! fun fact the hospital was since bulldozed for condos and a trader joes 💀

11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? drawing, live music, vinyl collecting, embroidery, video games, flower pressing, reading [when i can].

12. DO YOU HAVE PETS? YES < 3

13. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5' 9 or 5'10 seemingly, depending on which doctor you ask for some reason LOL, probably has to do with my godawful posture

14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? ART CLASS FOR SURE, that was always the only place I liked being. if you held a gun to me and said "no electives" tho, id say English. [what can I say, im Queer]

15. DREAM JOB? I DO NOT FUCKING DREAM OF LABOR!!!! I just want to live in a nice little house doing my nice little hobbies and seeing all my friends and magically have money for all that. that said, I am basically currently doing a younger me's "dream job" though so, can't complain too hard.

my lunch break is ending and i gotta dash SOOO im just gonna say i tag anyone who sees this and would like to do it! this is your open invitation < 3

[nicholaes]

buffy!!

sorry i put off answering this for so long bc i was super busy suddenly and then i was overthinking about rambling too much about my answers asjfkdj but thanks for asking i love an excuse to talk about characters

Favourite character: At the moment Tara from my rewatch (im in the middle of s5 currently) but in general Spike but also Buffy bc shes Buffy you know

Funniest character: I think it has to be Buffy when considering who's funny on purpose. But Spike is also funny on accident by just being a little idiot sometimes

Best-looking character: Gotta say Spike

3 favourite ships: Kinda hard to answer bc I actually dont like most of the relationships on this show that much 1. Obviously Spuffy, I had seen spuffy posts on tumblr ages ago and I was like thinking oh this is probably not gonna be fully canon and then I screamed when s5 and 6 happened. 2. Spike and Drusilla I just think theyre very fun to watch together 3. conflicted between Jenny Calender and Giles, bc it was kinda brief and Tara and Willow, bc I just didnt like Willow as much in later seasons so Im just not fully invested in either I guess

Least favourite character: hmm i dont know when I first rewatched I really disliked Glory and not in a this is the villain way but in a this character is really annoying me way but during rewatching my feelings on lots of characters have changed and theres a lot of characters that have moments or arcs where they annoy me a lot but none really stands out as a least favourite

Least favourite ship: I dont really hate any ship but I guess Xander and Anya I just didnt get why they got together besides wanting to have sex (shoutout to bangel just for constantly being brought up again like it was fine it made sense for the story but he left after s3 pls let him just leave)

Reason why I watch it: Its felt very just fun and different from what I had been watching before in a refreshing way. Really liked how things would be unexpected but it wasnt being over the top just kinda a genuine fun time. Then Spike was introduced and I got Spike brain worms lmao

Why I started watching it: Basically bc of Spuffy and I saw gifsets ages ago probably around 2013 and I was like seems like a cool show and then I saw Spuffy gif sets and I was like oooh and I remember seeing a video of him having to sing to Buffy in Once More With Feeling and being sold on the ship and then on top of that I found out he's a vampire so I was so in. I didnt really see much of it later but I think I just heard things about it being influential and just good in general so I was like ok I need to watch it sometime and then I started watching it as a chill show while working on my bachelor thesis (ended up only getting to it like 10 years but shh)

[midnightmisadventures]

Okay heres the dream

The first thing i remember is being on a campus of sorts. With the basement girls, it was warm, it was summery, i felt pretty, truly just my dream. Very good sunny, playful “i love being alive” vibes. 

We were passing through this baseball field that players were practicing at. And as we’re passing claire points out like omg that was Liam and......i genuinely think arod?? in the dugout but not as a celebrity just someone we knew of who played baseball. Which is embarrassing bc i was just looking at 90s pictures of derek jeter and arod. 

anyway, we were like omg in a nervous way, like i was nervous and overthinking but we’re scurrying along and the ball which is more like a kickball or soccer ball comes directly towards me. And im like “bro of course” like i dont wanna embarrass myself or get hit by the ball. So it comes towards me, and its apparent i have to hit it in their direction so i do and as i do Liam shouts “hit it, stab it” and i shout back “i did” and it was nervewracking so we jogged away

“Your probably wondering why i said "someone play with love by harbor"

hahahha okay so next, we were on a bus?? Ive been on the school bus a lot in dreams lately. And....it was like we were going to school, to see that same play from my last dream type beat. I actually dont really know the contrext. But basically we loaded the bus, Liam was within the group. I wasnt sure if we were friends friends yet or i guess again. But i sat in the seat across from him and i realized my black and white flannel was there from the last time i was on the bus. And i was shocked and mad at myself for leaving it. So i was showing him like “omg, im such an idiot i can’t believe i left this here??” and he was so soft and so sweet and said “aw im sorry :(” and i was like “no its fine, i mean i found it thats good” and then he put out his arm and said he’d put it in his bag for safe keeping or something, and i was like “omg really?” and he said “yea of course” 

And i know that doesnt seem like much. But ive studied this kid to no end, i KNOW when he’s being genuine and soft and boyfriendy and how he expresses his affection when he cares. He just gets this protective aura and it was so cute because it felt like HIM. Ya know, like that was Liam, not just a dream, i felt it was him and i was taken aback because....well he hasnt been that soft towards me in a year. 

So then things escalated just naturally and we were spending more time together just in our regular actions. ‘

We were with this other couple. So it was four of us and it was def couple vibes for each pair. And they were like omg, like lets go to the car we’re gonna smoke you up? Or like they just invited us somewhere and told us to follow them and we didnt know it was for smoking yet. 

So they went first and we see them in the car smoking and liam and i were walking and i kinda looked at him like “are...you gonna smoke?” cause i know he’s not right now. I wasnt sure. 

I get into the backseat, and he opens the door on his side and....it was weird there like wasnt a lot of space so he was trying to move the seat up. And he was struggling with it so then he just gave up and poked his head in the car and said, “hey, you guys go on without me i’ll see you guys later” and he shut the door and went back inside. And i was so pouty, like awwww i don’t even care about smoking with these strangers i just want to hang out with him and be around him :( 

So immediately i knew i was just gonna try to take a few puffs and leave cause i didnt want him to think id rather be there then spend time with him. I literally said while holding the blunt like “thank you guys sm for the free weed but i just realized i kinda have to go too, so i have to leave in a few minutes”

I also knew that a few hits would get me super high and i didnt want to go back to Liam suuuper messy like without my wits. But the moment was cute. I left the car to try to find him. 

At this point we’re attached at the hip, being he’s being so sweet and soft im in love. I feel lucky, we never talked but i didnt care, i just felt so attracted to him and that everything i had wished for was finally coming true. 

In the car to go see sleeping beauty re rendered. I was thinking wow i always did dream about movie theaters maybe this is why it was significant. I;m on my way to a movie with liam rn

We were at this pavillion getting food in the plaza of the movie and the bball game. I saved Liam a seat and felt like a girlfriend. I was so excited to sit with him. So i got my plate with a friend i don’t know in real life?? 

He came over and i was pointing to the chair across from me, and he reached out and grabbed my had and started carressing it, looked me in the eye and said “bubba, im gonna go with the boys to get my seat” or something just to let me know he’s leaving. And i was so upset haha, we’re still rubbing our hands btw and im like “youre leaving?? what” pouting bc i was so excited to eat? dinner? with him? idk. 

And he explained like “yea the games gonna start soon and its gonna be packed we want seats” and for some reason i didnt realize the game and the movie overlapped so i was sad that we had to split up, bc for some reason i was tied to this movie with the girl. 

So i’m like “okay :( yea, i’ll see you later then at the game” and he was like yea 

Still holding my hand, and then he asked “have you eaten enough today, what have you eaten?” so soft and sweet like, i cant get it using words. I was melting it was so adorable. And i listed two things which was like a bagel and something else but it was early in the day so i said “not bad?” also considering i had a plate of food in front of me. 

And then when he approved lmao he said okay, and let my hand go and started walking away. But then i said "wait what about you?? Have you eaten today? Theres food here you can grab quick b4 you leave" and he just said, nah hes good. And went on and as soon as he went out of view me and the rando friend were like AHHHHH

Like i was freaking out just cause we had escalated so quickly and it made my heart so full but it was so new and unexpected and completely led by him so i hadnt had much time to process like mans just called me BUBBA AND KISSED MY HAND? IN A CUTE WAY THAT DIDNT MAKE ME CRINGE OR GET AN ICK

What

So me and the girl are laughing while i put my head in my hands and the first thing i said was "what do i DO about that holy shit"

And then i was basically spilling to her and saying i never get to talk about this with anyone like that was so insane and NOT precedented like i did not expect him to be caring enough about me to check if i ate. And even in our loviest times he was never so confident to show me affection in public (or anywhere)

And she was like omg im so excited i get to hear all the tea first, lets TALK

And i was like yea.... Well its cause youre not as close to the situation as *cough cough* bff is

Whatever.

Then apparently liam was hanging with angel from highschool and the girl new him and was texting him funny things and started talking about me to him just saying whatever idk

And i was like noooo wait thats so weird cause i know angel like.....so its weird. And she was so shocked like YOU KNOW ANGEL THATS CRAZY and starts texting him bunch and was about to shout to him "ANGEL ARIELLE JUST TOLD ME SHE KNOWS YOU-" before they walked too far away

And i know hes with liam and i dont want Liam to think that im talking about, or thinking about his friend. Because i know how jealous he is, and yea we werent dating but it would be like a slap in the face since he just kissed my hand and is putting in all this effort to be my protector

So i was like NOOOOOOO stop dont do that please please, Liam will literally kill himself dont

And i know it sounds crazy to try to block that interaction when it didnt mean anything just that i knew a guy 6 years ago

But one, yea Liam IS crazy lmao and two it made me have this weird wave of feelings in the dream on what it means to be a unit and being mindful of how single you appear to others and.....i know it sounds stupid, but i was just realizing ive never been a girlfriend ive never belonged to anyone and its something i have to be cognizant of

Theres was more. But im lazy and sad. Im having a depressive episode. Swipe up to the future cause this is an edit.

But anyway i think thats my point is that Liam came to visit me and was being sweet cause ive been down and unbelieving. Which is cute bc i know i set intention to do that for him when i can feel his energy is down

Also ive never ONCE thought about Angel for prob 7 years lmao i dont think that was a random dream character i think it was an....Angel

[bleutectic]

moms pissed and its mostly bc of me

[suncakie]

[Bby I'm not even here, I'm a Hallucination]

Tsukishima Kei x gn!reader(ft. Yamaguchi)

Day fifteen

31 Days of Haikyuu Masterlist. [🏐]

Theme. Secret Admirer

Warnings. Cussing, fluff

Notes. I am proud to say this is proofread, well checked by my beta readers, and made on the same day it was finished up, im so happyyy TvT

You were...a prick if Tsukishima would describe it, you weren't just plain joyful and enthusiastic like Hinata was, you weren't straightforward and dumb like Kageyama was.

It was...entertaining, to say the least.

He would always see you there around the campus, you would hang out alone and whenever you see the blonde walk past with company, you would just send out a wave or a nod before resuming whatever you were doing.

Yamaguchi stayed at home, he was sick. That was what tsukki's mom told him at least, so he's walking alone to school today.

While walking, you had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, only greeting him with a calm and teasingly statement "french fries is walking alone, how sad"

Tsukishima tched as a response, a mutter of "you're always alone, your no different" you looked at him in amusement, your brows raising as you attempted small talk.

"How's school?"

"Boring"

You sighed and directed your attention on the street "no sh!t sherlock, I meant are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine"

"Lying ain't gonna help you out, there's something wrong and I won't stop bothering you until I get too forceful"

Ah yes, the occasional check-ins you would do whenever Yamaguchi or anyone, in fact, wasn't with him, he doesn't know if you're just bad with social interaction or just wanted to be his personal therapist of some sort.

He doesn't even know why he is telling you everything on his mind, it's just how you would let him speak and talk as long as he wanted and just give the advice when he finally stops talking, if not advice a hug would be your other option.

It's probably the thought of how you don't really have anyone to share this information on, or either the fact you're the one reaching out to him in a very serious matter and at the perfect time he needed someone to talk to.

Or he just trusts you.

Hah! Trust is a foreign word to him, the only person he will and only will trust is Yamaguchi, he stands by that statement.

But why is it that the atmosphere you would give him when the two of you are alone is so trustworthy? Like whatever he would tell you wouldn't be told to anyone.

He's just overthinking.

"Why are you here?"

Tsukishima asked you as you sat by his porch, you're still in your school uniform as you proceeded to scribble on the notebook you held in your hands.

"I got locked out, so I'm staying over"

you stood up as Tsukishima proceeded to unlock the door using his house keys, his mother told him earlier to bring his house keys just because they were supposed to visit someone in Tokyo for the mean time, meaning he's alone for today.

"Call your parents or siblings dumb*ss"

"I did, they had their phone turned off so it wouldn't ring"

You demonstrated, calling up your mum as it went to voice mail after a few seconds.

"Ugh fine, but when my parents come home your leaving"

He didn't know why he let you in.

He could've let you freeze to death outside his porch and you probably wouldn't care, you followed him inside, removing your shoes and going to his room.

He doesn't mind at all really, you already came over uninvited multiple times, he would just randomly see you in the corner of his eye and jump out of shock.

"What's that?"

"A paper"

And now you're pestering him rather than doing your homework, can he just live in peace once in a while?!

"I know that I meant what's that for?"

Tsukishima slid the paper towards you, he was done with whatever he was doing anyway.

"Its a questionnaire, the school provided a program to be aware of mental health, they said it would be accurate if you showed a professional this paper"

You hummed as you starred at the paper, your hand moving along the words.

"Our class didn't get one"

Tsukishima raised his brow at you and back at his biology essay.

"That's sad"

Damn, he should've had listened better, it's been an hour since the two of you had talked and you were just at his bed, occasionally getting out of the room to get a snack and continue on with the scribbling on your notebook.

He, on the other hand, was struggling to get a word out of his essay, Why does he even have to learn about Protein synthesis anyway?

According to the internet, there are only three steps, but from what their sensei told them there are five, is the school just making us learn by adding more steps on something that only has to be three?!

"Oh...Protein synthesis?"

Tsukishima flinched from his seat as he turned back to look at your towering figure, staring at his blank essay paper so far.

How come he didn't hear you walk here? Nah its probably because he had his headphones on.

"What about it?"

He questioned as he directed his attention to you, removing his headphones in the process.

"There are five steps Unzipping Transcription, Translation, Elongation, and Termination"

You counted as you raised each fingertip while you dictated each word that comes out of your lips.

Tsukishima rose his brow and continued on with his work, but this time you sat beside him, helping him out with the essay he never wanted to accomplish.

He didn't see you as much after that.

He did see you around the campus, as usual, sitting alone and walking to school alone, you did your occasional waves and nods whenever you see him stare in your direction, with him responding back with a nod.

You stopped showing up at his house though, the last time you visited was when you left your scribble notebook at his home and he gave it back to you, his mother suggested to let you stay for dinner but you refused to say that your parents will worry about you.

But that was months ago.

Tsukishima took out his phone, Yamaguchi wasn't here with him again, he had to attend a funeral, and you didn't show up like you used to too.

Thinking about it Tsukishima never got your contact number, maybe he should approach you once he sees you on the campus later, he is good friends with you after all.

Yes, he finally accepted that you're his friend.

He opened out the notes app, jotting down some things he did today and adding things to the past dates he just remembered now.

After the questionnaire the school gave, his parents suggested bringing both him and Akiteru to a Psychiatrists.

Which he disagreed to go at first, but his parents promised him to buy a strawberry shortcake afterward, who can say no to food anyways?

After two sessions, Akiteru was diagnosed with Anxiety while him, well they never told him, they just gave him a bottle of pills and made him drink one pill per day. The bottle didn't even specify what the drug was called.

After that diagnosis, he started to forget some past events that happened afterward, which led him to jot them down on paper if he remembered something in class or on his phone when he has access to it.

"Watcha typing?"

Finally, your here.

"Took you long enough to catch up"

Tsukishima commented as he placed his phone away, placing his attention back to you.

"I'm sorry mr i.expect.u.to.come.if.im.alone, I overslept"

You placed your hands in your jacket pocket, tching after your statement.

"Can I have your number?" |

Tsukishima stopped walking as you followed suit and smirked at the boy.

"Asking me out on a date eh?"

"What? No, if you don't want to give it to me then don't"

Tsukishima continued walking as you laughed at him, it was the first time he heard you laugh.

You caught up, walking side by side once again.

"I would give you my number but i don't memorize it and I left my phone at home"

"Tomorrow then"

"Sure"

...

Tomorrow never came.

Tsukishima thought you just got sick and will come back to school again after you got better.

but it's been a week.

And you haven't returned.

He's walking home from school, alone again, because Yamaguchi had decided to walk Yachi home.

of course, with Tanaka and Kiyoko.

Tomorrow will be his last visit to his Psychiatrists, after a good whole 7 months of his treatment, tomorrow will be the last day he would take those disgusting pills.

When he got home, he was greeted by his mother in the kitchen and Akiteru on the couch, he proceeded to his room, finally having the courage to actually search up what the pills were for in the first place.

after a dozen of research, multiple tabs open, and the one last pill he has, he had finally found what he was diagnosed with.

Delusional Disorder.

He can't really figure out what type, but he believes it's one of those simple ones and easy to treat, speaking from the only medication he got was the pills and the occasional visits to his Psychiatrist.

Where was he hallucinating though?

He was sure Yamaguchi and the volleyball team were real, seeing how the school acknowledged every single accomplishment they did.

He was also sure you were real, seeing how you've got your own parents and knowing some of the topics to his subjects.

...Who is 'you'?

"Yamaguchi, do you know anyone in our year named by 'L/n Y/n?' "

Tsukishima asked the green head, reading out a note he wrote about a few days ago.

"Hm, I know someone in class one who is named as Y/n, though their last name isn't L/n"

Tsukishima nodded, he also disagrees that the person Yamaguchi was talking about wasn't the person he wrote on his notes, they seemed smart and fits around the class four or five category.

What he also noticed was that he didn't wrote what year or college they were in at the moment, at the bottom of the note it read.

' • they ignored me when I asked what year they are in after we did my biology essay'

He also asked his upperclassmen, Tanaka and Sugawara to be specific, both had stated that no one had the same name and the appearance at the statement he made them read on his phone.

He also had asked his parents and brother if he ever brought someone over besides Yamaguchi and the team, with him also making them read out the description on his phone to only have the same result.

No one.

Who are you and why is he trying so hard to find you anyway?

It's not like you helped him out at anything, sure the texts and the filed-up paper say otherwise but that could only be a mere imagination he had made as a story plot.

He doesn't remember you being there in any of those events when Yamaguchi called in sick he just played music in his headphones, when he had a hard time doing his essay he asked Yamaguchi for his notes as a reference.

No one intruded in his house unless it was Akiteru himself.

You only appeared or at least was written when he found the envelope of random information in his bag the other day.

The notebook he had read you always brought with you was his extra notebook, and he is the only one who is allowed to know what things he had scribbled and written on it.

You never existed to begin with.

Day fifteen

@suncakie 31 Days of Haikyuu

[ndiecity]

idk ur still doing the confessions thing but anyway. it's not really wild or anything, i just needed to get it off my chest lol (you can ignore this if you want this gets pretty long and confusing i think so buckle up)

also shoutout to the 6th grade anon, i had a similar 6th grade exp. middle schoolers are the worst. i literally had little no friend AND was bullied lol.

anyway there was this one girl in my class that was like a sorta popular girl i was friends with. so during 6th grade, i had no friends except for her (i dont think she saw me as a friend tho or were even friends in the first place?? idk) and i would always crave her attention. i didn't know i had a crush on her i think.

(side note: i would rate the girls in my class based on how pretty and nice to me they are, (i think i put her on 2nd lol))

so then whenever she was absent for the day i would feel sad and all that shit. whenever she was around i always do anything to please her or make her think im cool or something (i was not cool, i was a loser). we would talk endlessly on messenger, talking abt random shit, how shitty her mom was, how shitty my mom was etc. one time during our first class for the day (which was about 5am i think) she was acting weird, i asked her about it, she said her stomach hurt. so me, being all lovesick and shit gave her my lunch ( i didn't have lunch money and only had sandwiches lol) when she thanked me for it, and said she felt better, i felt so proud. idk i just felt so happy then

fast forward to end of 6th grade, we were graduating. by that i mean transitioning from 6th grade to 7th grade. anyway. so we graduated, kept in touch, still messaged her on messenger, and then school got in the way and my phone got taken away cuz i failed sum classes in the 2nd quarter. never had it back since. so we didnt talk for about 4 years.

so back in 2020, my parents got me a laptop for school, and i made a new mess. acc. i reached out to her again. we talked, talked abt shitty moms, i found out she's bi and i told her im a lesbian. after a few days i asked her if she'd ever had a gf or bf or whatever (like the idiot i was) and said she didnt have to answer if she didnt want to obvi. she said yes she's had bf's before. i said, cool. then she asked me why i was asking i told her i was just curious.

then came out of nowhere, she said, "wanna try?" so then my brain shut off and i didnt reply for minutes then she just sent a "haha"

and she was like, "oh sorry was that weird? sorry😬"

but i said it was fine and shit. we didnt talk about it for about a day.

then we were talking again and i was like, "so this is gonna sound weird but do you ever like, like someone and would want a romantic relationship with them but wouldn't like, mind being their friend instead? like youre in the middle?"

and she said "yeah, i have" so then i was like "oh cool, cool"

then she asked, "why? have you?" and i said yes.

then she asked who. and my brain shut off again lmaoo so i was just like "you" the speech bubble appeared multiple times lmao then i followed up with like, "sorry! that was weird! please just forget about it!"

then she was like, "no no, it's fine. i feel the same way" (and i beliived it. how naive was i?)

so then i was like, "really?? cool cool cool" (im a really awkward person okay)

then after a few minutes of talking again (you know when you're like flirting as a joke but then it's not a joke anymore? lol) she was like, "so wanna be my gf?"

my brain shut off again. i didnt answer for a few minutes cuz my brain was dead. then she was like, "um was that too fast? that was too fast sorryy"

by the time i read that my hand was shaking lmaoo (from nervousness or shock i dont know) so i hastily replied with, "nah its fine. i would love too" after overthinking it and shit

does dating count when your just talking over text? what is dating????

anyway we flirt a lot, saying goodnight, i love you's and shit. she said i was her first gf, i said she was my first relationship and what not. i was genuinely happy. i had a person who understood me, and liked me, and i was happy. she even said she saved my bday on her phone

so then like about a week and a before my bday was when shits started to go down.

i messaged her, said a quick goodmorning cuz i had classes and how i wanted to kill myself and shit like that (dont worry, im not actively suicidal and she already knew this) she replied and i quote "Good morning, love. I love you."

then like after classes, i messaged her, asked how her day was, told her about my day etc. i waited about an hour. (she doesnt typically reply for about 10 - 15 minutes cuz duh she does have a more eventful life than mine) so i thought none of it. thought she was just busy. so it was nighttime and still no word from her. so i said good night and wished for her to be safe.

morning came, i checked my messages, still nothing, she didnt even see it yet. i went on with my day thinking nothing of it. told myself she might have some problems at home and all that. by the 3rd day, i was pretty anxious and i couldnt think properly. my brain conjuring up scenarios where her mom found out, and her phone got taken away. anything just to convince myself what the dreaded truth was.

it was the 5th day was when i gave up. i saw she changed her pfp, and captioned it like she would normally caption it. replied to the comments, that kind of shit. so then i was so mad by then so i commented too. ofc she didnt reply. i spent days worrying over her safety, when in reality she's just an asshole. and i really thought she really like me you know? i really thought she'd at least considered me as her friend, i guess not

my bday came, we had a party but i wasn't really feeling it ya know? by then i'd already spent the past week crying myself to sleep. no one noticed a thing.

a few months ago i saw she had a bf, and by that time i already felt like my old self again, no longer the broken pathetic shell she left. i was back to square one. so i cried again.

present day, i still see her posts, her ig stories, (i dont think she blocked me). and i cant bring myself to block her either. like idk on one hand i'm so mad that she just left me hanging, that her relationship with her new bf lasted longer than we were together and on the other i knew if she ever reached out again, i would latch on to every inch of her. (that's probably bad lol)

anyway have a nice day/afternoon/night!!!! i hope i havent troubled you too much lol sorry!

Damn that's a lot to take in, I'm sorry 😔

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Can you write anything about Joshua Bassett and his love interest where her appendix bursts and he rushes to the hospital to be with her and confesses his love for her while she's in on sleeping meds but then says it again when she's awake?

Summary: josh confesses his feelings about you while you were on sleeping meds.

A/N: OMG I love this, sorry it took me a while to write this, but hopefully its what you wanted. Also I had to do some research of the pain, no biggie, but this was fun to write. also the gif is such a mood lol.

The pain you felt had been going on for a couple days. You didn't really think much of it since you were lactose intolerant, you were just thinking it was the normal stomach ache you got when you ate ice cream, which time and time and again has taught you the consequences.

The pain had started again when you and Josh were reading over your line for your current show, where you two were love interests.

Again you thought nothing of it, hoping it wasnt that noticeable to josh, however he knew something was wrong, you weren't your usual self, i mean not that he was obsessed with you...i mean he was slightly, but not in a creepy type of way. He liked you very much, you know more than friends type of thing, but you didn't know that.

Again that sharp pain that was very slight had hit you again and this time it was really noticeable to the both of you. Josh looked up from his scripted and frowned and your facial expressions and the way you would place your hand on your belly.

“Hey you okay?” he said as he sat up and got next you hoping you were okay.

“Uh yeah, i am totally fine.” you said but josh knew that was such a big lie. He had given you the “really” look so you gave in and told him about the pain you have been feeling for the past couple days.

“Have you talked to a doctor, I can take you to a hospital nearby just to make sure.” he said as you were grateful for how much he cared for you. He cared so much more than when you would get a paper cut he would grab his bandages he would carry and make sure you were okay.

“Josh, it's fine, and no I haven't talked to a doctor, maybe it's just the daily flow you know?” you said as he nodded, but wasn't sure if this was what was going on with your body.

He suggested you two spend the night together to make sure that's what was going on. You two had gone to bed and surprisingly you fell asleep pretty fast.

..but then there was this stronger flow of pain that hit you much stronger than you ever thought pain could be. Your groaning was pretty loud that josh woke up started wondering what had happened.

“Oh my god-” you said as the pain hit you again not being able to finish your sentence. Josh got out of bed and got dressed and made sure he had your shoes so he could take you to the hospital.

“Come on i'm taking you to the hospital okay, everything is gonna be alright.” he said as you nodded and he pretty much carried you to the care and you surprisingly buckled yourself. Once the car was tuned on he started heading to the hospital nearby, he had done a little of his own research knowing where the nearest hospital was.

“H-how do y-you know w-where to g-go?” you said as again the pain was getting to you again.

“I just wanted to be prepared in case something happened.” he said as those words were rushing out of his mouth and you two had gotten to the doors of the ER and Josh had carried out again trying to get you some help. He had explained what was going on and some doctors took you away to see what was going on. After he had parked the car he waited patiently in the waiting room hoping everything was alright. He had called the directors letting them know what had happened so they knew you two would be gone the next day.

An hour later the doctor came out and called out your name.

“Family of y/n y/l/n?” he said as Josh quickly got up hoping you were more than okay.

“Are you her boyfriend?” he asked as Josh stammered at the question.

“Uh yes I am her boyfriend.” he said as he liked saying that hoping he would be able to say it again, but his mind went straight back to you.

The doctor had explained what was wrong and that everything was going to be fine and relief hit Josh instantly, being grateful that you were okay. He was given the okay to see you and he was more than happy to see you.

“The sleeping meds should wear off in a little, so she should be waking up alright?” a nurse told him as he nodded and sat next to you holding your hand, he knew you probably weren't gonna feel his hand on yours, but he just wanted to hold your hand for a while before you got up.

He had looked at you for a while seeing how peaceful you look sleeping, with no more pain. He wished he was able to take that pain away sooner, but knowing that the pain was gone now made him happy.

“Gosh y/n, i love you so much, i know we’re just friends, but i want more. You're it for me and i wish i could tell you, but i'm scared to loose you, i love our friendship so much i can't risk ruining it. If i can't have you as mine, at least i'll have you as my best friend.” he said as he saw your hand move and you were waking up only to see the ceiling and turning to josh with a smile on your face. That's one of the many things he loved about you, even if the circumstances were quite bad you still smiled on through.

“Hey, you're awake.'' Josh said with a smile as you laughed, but then groaned a little.

“Oh ouch, what happened?” you asked as he started with a chuckle.

“Well your appendix burst i guess, but we were right on time, so they did surgery on you.” he said as you nodded knowing your mother would be questioning your usage on your bank account.

“Welp, good thing i had you with me.” you said with a smile as he was overthinking whether or not you had feelings for him. So he did what most guys do when they like a girl.

“I like you, but not like as a friend, i like you more as a friend, god im in love with you, and i know the timing is pretty bad because we're doing a show together, but i love you.” he said as you smiled and you swore to yourself that you might be dreaming but you knew this was real life.

“Are you sure i’m the one who got the sleeping meds?” you said jokingly as josh chuckled a little knowing that he had made a huge mistake.

“I love you too josh.” you said as he looked back up at you hoping this was also real and that it wasn't the pain medicine talking.

“Wait, you do? Like actually?” he said as he was holding you had and you nodded and repeating the words once again.

I love you to goof.” you said as you reached down on his face and kissed him. After the kiss broke he was left in awe and he had kissed you again with a more passionate touch.

“Well looks like I'm your goof.” he said as you laughed and he had gotten on the bed with you so you two could cuddle before returning back to your lives.