#but then i have to get to know new ppl uughhhh

[notanotherblorbo]

I'm so glad I finally have a job where I get to actually interact with people. Except for part where I am constantly thinking think "be normal be normal these ppl are cool and nice pls be normal no don't say poggers in front of them be normal be normal don't verbally stim they will hear you be normal be normal be normal be normal act normal do not bring up your hyperfixations they will think you are crazy be normal be normal brain pls shut up be normal memorise how to do this pls brain pls act normal act normal" because I'm not comfortable with or firmialiar with any of them yet.

[phantom-of-the-memes]

⚠️warning: rpdr season 13 spoilers⚠️

(I’m basically just venting my feelings so it’s gonna be messy 😂)

Sooo I finally brought myself to watch season 13 of rpdr because I just had to see how they treated gottmik’s storyline and omfg... I avoided most spoilers apart from seeing the untucked clip of mik coming out. So I actually had hope that they allowed her to come out herself and at her own time. What I didn’t realise was that was due to an OUTING in episode 2... LIKE WTF!??? Like I know she wrote the lyrics and whatever, but you cannot tell me that that dramatic plot point was not in some way staged or planned. Even if it wasn’t, it’s just the fact that she was expected to come out in the first place?

Idk, like I said in my last post, It just annoys me as a trans person that we can’t ever just be people!! Why are we trans before anything else to people?? And the fact that she says it brings her a lot of dysphoria in the moment that she wasn’t expecting, just shows how exhausting it can be to be publicly trans. You expect over time your dysphoria will dissipate as you transition, but coming out to new people can still leave you with this sinking feeling of “oh they see me as ‘other’ now”. Even if they don’t! Like the other queens seem great so far. But yeah that dysphoria just sucks so bad and the moment when mik literally gasped and cringed when her song came on just hit home for me.

It’s one thing being open and proud of your transness (which mik is) to a comfortable degree (which varies from person to person) and like over stepping your own boundaries because you feel like you have to be an advocate for the trans community. Which again idk miks feelings on this, but it’s just something I’ve noticed with soo many public trans figures (eg: a lot of youtubers).

Asking trans ppl to air their story to strangers ON TV, with no regard for their own personal comfort is just uughhhh (not saying this is the situation with mik). Especially with the amount of hate and threats trans ppl will receive online as a result. It would be nice if that weren’t the case, but fuck the cis gay community is SO rife with transphobia.

Ugh it’s so frustrating. Why does “equal opportunity” always have to come with trade-ins, i.e. having to be the token trans person and having your transness be used for drama. Like don’t even get me started on Rupauls consistent transphobia, ESPECIALLY towards trans woman.

Idk I’m probably overreacting and projecting my feelings because I relate to mik a lot being a trans gay guy. But yeah it just upset me. I’ve seen up to episode 5 atm and it’s been fine since episode 2, so I’m hoping that the rest of the season is ok.