#and i genuinely cant tell what i want
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Am I Into This Person But Very Nervous About It, Or Just Going Along For The Ride Because Idk What I Want - And Other Paralyzing Questions To Haunt Your Weekend!
#hhhhhhhhhghhhhghhhhh#man.#its like. i really like this person as a friend and i dont wanna lose her right#and i djd at one point go “hoohoo what if i had a crush on her heehee” bc im weird n i think that abt p much anyone my age i get close to#but ive been very happy having her as my friend and it was so unexpected when she asked me out#and i genuinely cant tell what i want#and like. am i ready to date again. am i just nervous because i dont wanna get hurt again. do i actually feel that way abt her for real.#is this like a “hey lets try this thing out see what happens n if it doesnt work we'll still be friends” kinda thing#or a “I'm really into you and i want to date and ill be disappointed if it doesn't work out” kinda thing on her part....#i know im overthinking this and its probably gonna be fine and im just really not used to casual dating but. aughhhhhhhh#the agonies
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it's cool if I ramble about yes man unprompted right. ofc it is. i wanna talk about his capacity for violence bc I think it's one of the most interesting parts of his character
yes man is nice. obviously he's nice. but yes man is not a kind character. he helps you, sure, but that's mostly just because he likes you specifically (and even that's debatable depending on how you play). i feel like this is exemplified w his pre-combat lines– "a pulled trigger's a happy trigger!" and "woo! bang bang!" like, he's clearly having fun! he takes glee in killing people, but not because he's sadistic, but because he just doesn't realize the weight of taking a life- or if he does, it just doesn't matter to him.
he was programmed without a sense of morality or an understanding of mortality. to him, violence is second nature. to him, violence is no different from play. he's like a guard dog– he doesn't care who he's shooting or why, he's just excited to do the thing he's good at.
and on one hand, he is a fantastic guard dog. but on the other hand, six must watch how... efficiently he kills, and wonder if they'll ever wind up on the receiving end of it. he wouldn't do it as long as he likes six, of course, but... if yes man was given good enough reason to believe six deserved to die, would he even hesitate? would their history and relationship mean anything to him? or would six just be another target, forgotten about as quickly as a radroach you stepped on?
six can only hope they never need to find out.
#juno.txt#fnv#fallout#fallout new vegas#yes man#ym#courier six#six#also on a more selfship level. part of what yes man likes about six is their ability to be violent despite being so small and fragile#i think on some level his eagerness to kill in their name is him trying to impress them#but ofc when courier 'no problem that can't be solved with words' six finds out abt that they dont take it well#this is all during the game's events ofc. by the end of the game ym comes to understand six's ideology better#and despite being a literal murder machine begins to believe maybe he has it in him to be gentle too#plus the assertiveness upgrade kinda prevents the whole 'what if someone comvinces him to kill me' thing#but like. post game ym can be whatever you want him to be i like analyzing the flawed mid game one#no moral backbone means you can't exactly call ym a bad person but you certainly cant call him a good person#six spends a lot of their early relationship a little scared of and a lot distrustful of yes man bc they genuinely cant tell-#what's going on in his head or if anything he says is the truth#anyway not to ramble even more in the tags lol
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Sorry I forgot Hanneman suggested Byleth undress after they show up with a different hair color. And I miss Hanneman. And also while swapping between Houses and Hopes and seeing Hanneman pop up to help in a Hopes paralogue is just devastating since he doesn't ever actually join you at all and I am denied my old man rights.
So I had to draw this. Thank you for understanding.
#fe three houses#byleth#hanneman von essar#i like that Byleth just kinda stares at him and he realizes WHAT HE SAID and the implications and is like#step back uh forget that I said that#like man so zoned in on research he blurts that out and has to backtrack mentally to AH socially bad to say that my bad#if i need to tag this as anything lemme know even though it is a conversation in game basically (minus the marriage)#also if you have never married hanneman i genuinely enjoyed his s support and was VERY surprised and hes just#honestly one of my favorites overall in 3h ?? and im still bummed i cant play as him in thropes like thats just mean#also i think if byleth was like oh well if its awkward to see someone undress randomly#then marriage would solve the awkwardness this is truly the best deduction#which is really funny that i can see it happening with both leths despite my hc of them#with fyleth as bi and myleth as ace i think both would just be like AH cool we can avoid awkwardness by marriage#and hanneman just wants to go lie down in a ditch because he said something like that#and and byleth doesnt even know about religion while working at church school they dont know about school regulations#that wasnt really on their mind to check ok just saying you could tell byleth no to something#and then they just go oh school policies i understand unfortunately#and the person is like no we just meant its frowned upon to do archery practice in the tea garden its not technically illegal just dont??
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sometimes the trans-specific rook dialogue is nice but sometimes it's just hilarious. davrin was flirting and rook was given an option to tell him about it but he went "are you sure you're okay with .........what i am..." and davrin replied "? Well. what are you." which is probably not the ideal response to that situation but you really can't blame him for thinking rook was about to reveal he was a werewolf or something.
#veilguard spoilers#interestingly tho i think the game remembered what i told maevaris about his coming out? because he mentioned#it to davrin. but i genuinely cant tell if that's a coincidence or not#davrin's response is very funny bc he basically just doesn't even address it and says hes wanted to fuck you from day one#choosing to believe that's just a brilliant character choice and not something everyone does#it makes me want to write the scene where marcus and anders first Talk About It though because it's also very stupid
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Alhaitham referring to kaveh in ways which acknowledge his skill, and kaveh perceiving it as sarcasm, even though alhaitham refers to kaveh in the same ways when kaveh isn’t present is driving me a little bit insane - especially what this prompts the player to question!!
When we first meet kaveh in the archon quest the relationship between him and alhaitham is presented to us as “terrible” (courtesy of npc geoff who introduces kaveh’s return to sumeru city), and the cutscene in the house of daena demonstrates what this entails, being that the two cannot see eye to eye, and, seemingly don’t hold each other in high regard.
Alhaitham seemingly refers to kaveh’s genius in a sarcastic light and kaveh claims to despise talking to alhaitham because of his arrogance.
Looking to kaveh’s hangout, however, when the player has a one-on-one with alhaitham, the player gets a glimpse into alhaitham’s personal understanding of kaveh, and with this, his own views on kaveh.
Within this exchange between him and the player, Alhaitham uses Kaveh’s title without sarcasm, sincerely praising him and his skills, elevating him over ‘less skilled’ architects and asserting that Kaveh should have more confidence in his work.
The reason that Alhaitham does not openly praise Kaveh is stated here, being that “admonitions” will serve no purpose due to people being prone to fall into “similar pitfalls”, and that people should have the right to lead their own life, rather than have it interfered upon by others
The reading here is that even if Alhaitham did openly praise Kaveh, no difference would be made in Kaveh’s thinking. Yet, by refraining from praise, and instead goading, by this logic, this also makes no difference. Therefore, the question is raised, ‘why can Alhaitham praise Kaveh to the player, and not to Kaveh himself?’
When Alhaitham praises Kaveh’s work within Kaveh’s hangout it is through there being no record of issues in the reconstruction of port ormos, which is something kaveh states first - in this context, alhaitham notes the work as an “impressive achievement”, which kaveh assents to, as there is no standing in which this can be debated. Kaveh cannot resent a compliment steeped in fact, even from alhaitham
The problem, then, is rooted in alhaitham’s delivery, which relates to their core issue of miscommunication. Referring back to their exchange in the House of Daena, it is observed that Alhaitham uses similar descriptors of Kaveh to Kaveh, similar to the descriptors he uses to the Traveler in Kaveh’s hangout, however, Kaveh perceives these words as sarcasm.
This highlights the miscommunication between them and can aid in answering the question why Alhaitham cannot be open with Kaveh, as he will be misconstrued.
Through Alhaitham’s repeated elusions to Kaveh when he is not present and his open esteem of Kaveh and his work to the Traveler, Kaveh’s assertion that Alhaitham holds him in a negative light is proved incorrect. This serves to highlight the miscommunication between the two, causing the player to question why they hold such contrasting views of the other.
Clearly, there is a reason why Alhaitham cannot openly express his regard of Kaveh to Kaveh, but this reason is obscure to both kaveh and the player.
In terms of queer subtext it’s pretty interesting that alhaitham’s high regard for kaveh is shown within the surface text and yet the reason for this secrecy is never made explicit within the story’s surface and is only to be inferred from alhaitham’s and kaveh’s character stories.
In terms of the two functioning as mirrors, the fact that the knowledge that alhaitham cannot outright compliment kaveh 1) is not only due to their past argument and lost friendship and 2) is also due to his awareness that kaveh cannot accept goodwill, is only obtainable by reading both kaveh and alhaitham’s character stories shows how intertwined they are as characters - you cannot fully understand one without the other
(Update: For more analyses like this, the essay this is taken from is now uploaded! It can be accessed here and here as as a pdf <3)
#haikaveh#kavehtham#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#okay i think my thoughts got derailed in the end but pretend they didnt#some of this is from the essay and you can probably tell because of writing quality#but i think it is so interesting that what alhaitham chooses to share with the player clearly highlights his regard and respect for kaveh#but his reason for hiding it from kaveh has to be inferred by digging into their lore#and when you realise that alhaitham doesnt want to cause a repeat of their past argument by encroaching on kaveh’s fortified boundaries#it only shows how MUCH alhaitham cares about him#im sick!!!#they make me sick!!!#and also that part in kaveh’s hangout when kaveh says he’s so used to sarcasm he cant tell what genuine praise sounds like#my boys#you need to talk#I AM BEGGING!!!!
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FINISHED WATCHING MHA MOVIE 2: HEROES RISING!!! SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED IT
OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS WAS SO GOOD YO HOLY FUCK I LOVE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA
This was truly My Bakudeku Academia. Watching that final battle felt like a religious experience- as if I was watching the birth of Christ. Holy fuck if that really was the original ending, with Deku passing OFA to Kacchan, and the whole "Oh it actually stayed with Deku and Bkg got amnesia" didn't happen, this would have been a dramatically different story moving forward.
Horikoshi really loves Bakugou- like absolutely no question. The story following this kind of ending would be about him continuing OFA's legacy with the guilt of a thousand suns on his shoulders for "taking away" Izuku's dream. Izuku would have continued the hero course as an actual quirkless student. I would love to see aus of this being canon and continuing their story from there.
I'm guessing Nine here was supposed to be AFO, and he would basically be gone too. Katsuma is perfectly set up to be the next protagonist (I can already imagine him using Cell Regeneration as Super Regeneration- he could become invincible while also healing others. Incredibly amazing quirk).
NUMBER ONE COMPLAINT I HAD WAS ADDRESSED. THE REST OF THE CLASS ACTUALLY DO FEEL STRONG AND USEFUL AND EVERYTHING AS SHIT I LOVE IT AAAAAAAA
YES MY GIRL OCHAKO FINALLY HAS HER BIG MOMENT FLOATING SO MUCH DEBRIS!!! I'M SO HAPPY- EVEN JIRO, AOYAMA, SHOJI, TOKOYAMI AND MORE HAD LEGIT GOOD SCENES AND FIGHTS I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH THEY ARE SOOO COOLLLLL THEY GENUINELY GAVE IT THEIR ALL FUCK YEAHHHHH
(note. THAT WOLF GUY CALLED SHOJI UGLY- A FELLOW HETEROMORPH, CUS HE WAS PROJECTING HIS "MONSTER" ISSUES ON HIM HOW FUCKING DARE YOUUUUU)
THEY ALSO MAKE IT ACTUALLY MAKE MORE SENSE HOW THE WHOLE CLASS IS SEPARATED ON AN ISLAND TOGETHER AS A WHOLE CLASS THIS TIME TOO (and not just half like last movie). They even managed to tie it in to AFO, the LoV, and Hero Society. Like it actually feels more grounded and reasonable why the class would be here alone with supervision.
They even add hints of Touya Todoroki with him having a short battle with Endeavor, Hawks spying in the LoV, the HSPC head cameo, and other little things too. Man I loved this fucking movie I would watch it 10 more times right now.
#THIS WAS SRSLY MY BKDK ACADEMIA#I CANT IMAGINE HOW INSANE HORIKOSHI IS FOR IMAGINING THIS AS AN OG ENDING???#CUS WTF. IZUKU GENUINELY TRUSTS BKG SO MUCH IN WANTING TO BE THE NUMBER 1 HERO HES FINE WITH HIM HAVING OFA. WHAT#BKG WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED AND WOULD DO THE SAME THING HE DID IN THE CANON ENDING NGL IF THIS HAPPENED#HE WOULD N O T LOSE IZUKU BY HIS SIDE BRO#IZUKU WOULD CONTINUE AND GRADUATE AS A LEGIT QUIRKLESS HERO EVEN EARLIER IN THE SERIES- WHAT THE FUCK LSKFJKJSD#OK IM JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY THEY GAVE OCHAKO MORE SHIT TO FLOAT LIKE GODDAMN#SHE WORKS SO WELL WITH TSU AND SERO HELL YEAH!!! IM SURPRSIED NO ONE DRAWS THEM TOGETHER MORE AS FRIENDS!!!#(guess I'm doing that now. tsk.)#I have moved on so much from my younger years bkg hate that seeing him succeed and do shit legit makes me so fucking happy-#thATS MY WINNING FIGHTING FUCKING KINGGGGGG#and Izuku being the absolutely selfless and darling sunshine he is and being so deranged in beating this dudes ass. always beautiful.#ily sm izukuuuu#also. brief TODOIIDA YAYYYYY THEY WERE SO BACK TO BACK IN BEATING THE CHIMERA DUDE LKSFLKSJK#yes kiri and tsu were also there and were Awesome- but u can tell its these two back to back#when iida reminds shoto to prioritize saving civilians with his hand on his shoulder yeAHHH thats their THEME RIGHT THEREEE#they both learned that together from deku and now are always fighting side by side fuck yeAHHHH#ok thats enough. i fucking love these movies. idc if theyre basic big selling fight scene crap and are shallow to most ppl#i care abt these kids and this world and its fucking heroes and villains n jackshit so much#if anyone stops me from enjoying this they can go suck their own dick and crack their neck trying. ha.#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#heroes rising#bkdk#bakudeku#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki
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i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.
#im not saying astrology/tarot/crystals/etc. get clowned on so much bc theyre hobbies mostly enjoyed by women But....#i saw a post about some astrology study and made the mistake of opening the notes on that bad boy#not fun. and that reminded me of that old post that was basically like ''liking astrology is transphobic''#anyways idk maybe its just that my bestie is very much a ''crystal girl'' but like. stuff like that are such neat hobbies#she makes some cute little jars with pretty rocks and they make her feel better bc if you believe in something you can make it happen#when it comes to small things#like yeah if you pick up a stone that's like ''this can help you be more open with your emotions'' and you are like ''oh hell yea!''#ofc that will be on your mind and the item will be a constant reminder and actually help you with your goals#and its like. ok what really stuck with me was when i was talking with my bff and i was like ''i think all this stuff is interesting but i#feel bad bc i am superstitious and believe in some signs like lucky numbers but i know that logically its just. if i pick a lucky number of#i pay extra attention to it but i want to believe its lucky but i know how human brains work in that aspect''#and she was just like. ''so? those things dont have to exclude each other'' and it clicked#if i have a little tigers eye with me it does not make me feel more grounded magically#but if i decide (or believe) it's grounding then it will b bc it's a reminder for me to calm down#and stuff#like. ah idk how to put my thoughts into words#but i just think its unfair that a few rotten apples have ruined the perception of fun hobbies for a lot#not every astrology enjoyer is trying to sell you mlm essential oils or genuinely believe peoples entire lives are dictated upon the stars#or something#idk i just feel like these things are v misunderstood even tho im not personally like super into them myself#but ppl super mean about that stuff arent invited to look at my medieval themed fortune telling cards#idkk im sleepy and cant articulate my points someone else say this but better#leevi talks#im just saying. i dont think its bioessentialism to decide to believe you personally have a season for growth when the stars are in a#certain position or whatever
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#ok but fr marking undergrad essays is such a rollercoaster#i gave two very high marks today and was genuinely impressed and then the next three i marked were practically incoherent#one just copy and pasted their intro instead of writing a conclusion. like it's verbatim the same paragraph#i dont mark down for minor grammar and syntax errors because there's a high rate of ESL students...#... but some of the papers from native english speakers have me more concerned about functional illiteracy than I've ever been#these are 19-20yos in a humanities field at a top university! even the highest scoring essay had basic basic grammar errors and vocab misuse#at least i could tell what the student was trying to say there but some of the others...#if your punctuation and spelling and syntax are all so bad that i literally cant tell what you're trying to say there is a serious problem#even setting aside how many errors like these there were there's the flip side of the issue: actually writing an essay#the last one i marked yesterday had no structure or thesis or secondary sources#everything between the intro and conclusion was the same claim phrased in different ways with some irrelevant non sequitur quotes thrown in#no analysis other than the words 'analysis of this shows' which is *gasp* not a substitute for analysis#OH AND OMG#one made a direct claim about a figure's political stance and attached a footnote. i went to see what the student's source was.#the footnote literally said something like 'i know i should have a source here but it's only context and i don't want to waste my word count#like what???? do you think claims about relevant context don't need evidence??? and the audacity to not give a citation...#... and claim it's because it would take too many words away from your main argument??#just providing the actual citation for the claim would have been 3-5 words max but the footnote about not having room was 30 words#kid do you think i can't tell that you dont have that citation? do you think anyone's buying that you didn't include it to save space?#it's the very first footnote and most of the others are full-length bibliography entries jammed into the footnotes (which we don't require)#so either you were 'worried about space' at the first footnote then changed your mind as you wasted 250 words on unnecessary formatting#or you were over the word limit and were like 'gotta cut something!' and the only footnote you 'simplified for space' was a short basic one#^assuming i believed you. which i dont. because why would you think that would fool anyone.#i still have half the essays left. im tired and so disappointed in how little we're told we should expect from them
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tumblr user magowolor posts magolor art (CHEERING AND CLAPPIN) yup yuup mhm thats right
#once he claws his way ouy of hell after definantly learning his lesson(not true) He and i will have a summer wedding#lol idk. maybe he did learn smthn but not necessarily the lesson he should have#like to him it was probably just ok MAYBE he shouldnt try n bite off more than he can chew n get carried away#and then he finds some other way to garner attention and make his impression on othars#esp w kirby hes reeely trying to overcompensate for his past misdeeds like hehe yah im suuuuuperr nice now trust ^-^#but maybe just MAYBE theres a slight shift were hes like ok well what if i didnt want to be good just to be convincing#only Bc his past motivation and actions were all built off one lie after another. he cant even tell if these thoughts are genuine#sooo maybe his curiosity gets th better of him and he figures the only way to find out and also maybe possibly b able to form actual bonds#this time around is by commiting to actually intentionally being good and stuff#like hes not suddenly gonna try an be a complete goody two shoes and be perfect bc hes still a mischevious guy yknow but uhm. yeah. yknow#^^^oh BROTHER we got a real yapper over here -_-#kirby#magolor#krtdldx#myart
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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Actively stuck on the thought that…its pretty hard to believe that both the humans and Caine will both get happy endings in The Amazing Digital Circus- Cause like if he does then theyre still stuck, but if they do, then whats left for him??? Like the happiest ending for him there is that he just dies/never gets turned back on again and thats 😭
Augh Why cant I be obsessed with things that are over why do I have to wait for TADC, Deltarune, and Silksong
#i still cant tell what route i think would be the best for Caine#+ what I think is actually going to happen#cause on one hand#Caine crashing out is my favorite thing ever#but on the other its way more interesting for this dude to not be malicious at all and genuinely just not understand#i mean 2 things can be true at once#personally I think hes just gonna get more pushy and refuse criticism cause bro is a tad self absorbed#that or accept death and be like#I SERVED MY PURPOSE👍#I think I have a type of favorite character#loud talking guys that struggle with loneliness and identity#we love loud talking guys that struggle with loneliness and identity#tadc yap#the amazing digital circus#i dont want him to die but I think hes gonna :(#COMMENT DOWN BELOW YOUR THEORIES#AND CLICK THE SUBSCRIBE BUTTON AND HIT THE BELL!!#AND DONATE TO MY PATREON FOR A FREE PS6!!!
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thinkin about how important it is for submissives to take control of their own submission and understand their own agency in kink and to communicate for themselves
#sometimes…sometimes the little ‘uwu I can’t talk about what I want ! don’t make me say anything durinh sex i wont be able to! im so shyy!’#really starts to concern me#cause its like…you guys arent using this as a crutch to deny responsibility for your own sexuality and submission right???? right????#like you have to be able to confront the fact that you want sex and are an active participant in a scene#sex isnt something thats supposed to *happen* to you its something you’re supposed to *do*#and im sure its just the internet echo chamber throwing things around at me !#cause i think most people know this but i just see sooooo many fucking posts#‘uwu if you try to talk to me during sex i wont be able to!’ ‘uwu i cant tell anyone what i want in sexxx youll just have to drag it oit of#me im so embarrassed!’#like guys…we’re not damsels in distress here and youre supposed to be an active participant in your own sex life#being a safe participant in kink means bein able to recognize your agency in sex and communicating your desires your comforts your boundari#s and more !#anyways#its genuinely not a big deal i just let myself get wound up by internet posts#which im trying to make happen less because theres no reason for rhat to be happening to me constantly 🫶🏻#unimportant thoughts
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also mane might genuinely experiance low or limited verbility episodes, he has days were he just wont turn on his mic, and will only talk in chat
- 🔍🏰(f:🦜✨)
that's very interesting, actually. i've seen people talk about it as headcanons, but that does seem pretty accurate.
#☆ inbox .#he's so much like me i understand him#i wish i could just type in chat in real life sometimes#“can you just tell me what you want??” no i cant leave me alone#sorry this is a genuine issue for me but i completely support this with mane#im actually starting to love him more and more#please i already have too many brainwords you guys are making it worse/silly
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Ş̸̻͕̺́̚Ṕ̵̛̪̃Ȩ̷̳̫̿̾Ã̶̞̺̇͐͘K̷͈̿̎̇.
This damn comic is fucking A N C I E N T but as far as like, the content of it- not necessarily the art because I always hate my older art, but the presentation, what is objectively here- still feels right to me, so I'm sharing it. again
#I do not have it in me to even begin explaining the layers of this horseshit lmao#one of these days I can try to actually like. talk about this thing#this beast of teeth and turmoil and shimmer and shadow#something so wonderfully beautiful and sickly foul#genuinely irritates me that i struggle to talk about them at all because I have drawn them. So. Much.#More than any other fusion. even the ones canon to the show lol#yes that includes garnet#Like in-universe sure i can explain. Karma is a manifestation of the one thread druid and sven share- control#Druid has had none. His corruption- the withering- took away most of his agency. and Sven needs control like he needs air#and both of them whether they admit it to themselves or not are more afraid of themselves than of any external force#Sven fears his emotions. fears feeling them. Druid fears his illness and what it does to his body and mind#And so Karma is fragmented into the parts that they want the world to see and the parts they're afraid of#Keeper is that fear. that need to contain. to control. to suppress. to hide. to mask.#Unbound is all inhibitions removed. it's the release. the freedom. the desire. the exposed. the raw.#Unbound is everything that Sven and Druid would never tell anyone. Desires buried so far down that they themselves don't recognize it#But that's all in-universe. That's not quite the scope of what they mean in a grander meta sense#that is too intrinsically tied to me in a way that I can't explain#because if I could explain... then I wouldn't need them#fucking. what the fuck do I tag this i cant keep shoving Karma under the SU tag lmao#nugget rambles#my art#au/niverse
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Personal vent time
This is a purely personal complaint but I think one of the major reasons why I'm so disappointed with how things are currently going in the manga is how they kept teasing us with this "once the agency is together there isn't anything we can't do" thing and ultimately divided them again AND killed off Kunikida. They took the idea away before we even got anything 😭😭
They even had Atsushi say this in one chapter ago which got my hopes high and now obviously it's not gonna happen with how easily Amenogozen can slurp people up. I know eventually it's gonna be a SSKK battle in the end but heck, I'd take any crumbs they would offer but give us something?? I just wanna see some ADA action, is that too much to ask for?? 😭😭
#bungou stray dogs#armed detective agency#yosano katai kyouka and even lucy has been gone for a g e s#including ango#what on earth is happening anymore 😭😭#someone seriously remind me if there has been any team moment that i missed cuz i genuinely remember nothing#there was even that time when kunikida and tanizaki were tgt but Fukuchi ended them in 2 seconds#IT WAS LITERALLY THE SAME AS WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS CHAP#like why cant they have one good fighting moment together#how much longer till they ACTUALLY get to fight together??#im sorry half my tags probably dont even make sense#I'm just a simple girl who wants to see ada again#pls tell me i'm not the only one#bsd spoilers
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being an undiagnosed autistic but also having undiagnosed adhd that basically makes your memory so shit (short and long term) you only have random one off memories from when you were younger to go off of that could indicate autism so now you feel like a fraud because it feels like everyone else can remember things they did as a child that pointed to autism but you just can’t. I can’t even remember if I consciously masked or not because I feel like I did since only when lockdown hit it seemed like my autism became more noticeable but I also don’t remember ever feeling like I had to be normal unless I was told to 😶 I genuinely would unironically describe myself as “not like other girls”
#audhd#actually audhd#autism#adhder#adhd#autistic#actually autistic#actually adhd#I genuinely don’t know what levels of support I even need because not only do levels feel restrictive to me I also just don’t remember#imposter syndrome goes hard#I want an assement to prove to myself that i’m autistic but at the same time what if I fly under the radar again?#I am confident I have inattentive adhd like you cant tell me other wise but ugh I feel like such an imposter when it comes to autism#But also what else would it be??
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