#“can you just tell me what you want??” no i cant leave me alone

[livroni]

I hold them as close to me as possible. I knew this had to come eventually, but did it have to be so damn soon? How am I supposed to tell them that everyone they know will come to pass long before they even mature? How am I supposed to tell them that I wont be by there side every step of the way. I hold them closer still.

We stay like that for what feels like hours. I dont think either of us want to let go, as if doing so the other will fade out of reality like a dream.

Dreams. I always dreamed of being a parent. I always dreamed to teach a little creature to walk, to talk, to learn to experience the joys and hold their hand through the pains. But. I cant do that, can I? I take a deep breath, Sorting out emotion and logic, rational. My child needs a parent right now. They need that hand to guide them through the uncertainty so they can learn to pass the brambles on their own.

“I love you. I will always love you. Beyond this plane and further, even the gods know my love for you.“

“If you love me so, how could you leave me alone?” She looked up at me. Those wide, wide icy gray eyes. How I remember them peering the world with wild curiosity, the way they lit up when i taught them how to eat Honeysuckles, the way they shone when reading of myths and monsters, the way they focused when helping another being. Now? They looked to me with longing.

“My child, I have many more years left with you. And yes, you will have to walk this path alone one day. It is just the way the world works.”

“Thats stupid.”

“It is. It is very stupid. But nothing physical lives forever. You will die one day too.” I pause, and hope the words resonate with them. Im so terrified to put more fear into her gentle heart. They are quite delicate, children. Bluntness is required, but painful. And I would never lie to them.

“But even then, my love for you for you transcends the planes. Including the planes which separate life and death. While I may very well die one day, my love for you wont. My hand will always be in yours, my child. I will always, always be there for you.”

She sobs again, but its not as pained before. We cry together a bit more. I sing them a lullaby (their favourite). And my child, my sweet strong gentle loving child, falls asleep. Tomorrow will be a day full of fun and joy, I promise them that.

You're a single human parent of a Elf child, today has you ready yourself for bed you hear them burst open the door with tears in their eye as they jump into bed with you and hold onto you tight, has you comfort them you hear them say through their whimpering and sobs "i don't want you to die".

[velvetvexations]

hi velvet, i hope this ask finds you well. something happened to me irl a month or two ago and i just cant stop thinking about it, it just shocked and frustrated me so much

so i was hanging out with a couple of my friends (a cis guy who i will call S and two transfems, M and B) at M and B's dorm room, and we were all having a good time, horsing around for a bit and then we eventually got to talking about M's family and their reaction to her being queer and trans. her parents are a little weird about it but supportive enough that she's allowed to openly wear what she wants and date who she wants. after she was done sharing i shared a little bit about my family (very unsupportive, i never plan on coming out to them or sharing anything about my love life to them in any way if i can help it. i am 3 months on T and i plan on never telling them, if the topic of it comes up im just gonna straight up lie.)

after i shared a bit she kind of interrupted me and said "at least you get the short end of the trans stick you know?" and i asked her "huh what are you talking about" "you know, us trans girls they just kill us they kind of just leave you alone (in a sort of jokey tone)" and i looked at S and B to gauge their reactions and they both looked really uncomfortable and like they didn't know what to say. so i said "no?? they kill us too" B and S nodded a little bit and then M said "yeah but they like give you some extra time first at least (laughing nervously a bit)" "yeah thats when they're raping us, corrective rape is a huge issue for trans men" (in hindsight this was fucked up to say but i was upset and wanted to point out that trans men don't get extra grace from transphobes) and then we changed the subject

that whole interaction has really stuck with me, it really really sucked to have TRF rhetoric literally said to my face by someone who i really like and respect and love spending time with :(( ive talked to S about it a couple of times to try and get it off my chest but understandably he stays out of trans infighting discourse so he's just like "yeah that was weird it's understandable that it hurt your feelings" and thats all he has to say on the matter and i havent talked to B about the incident bc M is its roommate and best friend and i don't wanna split hairs but it's refreshing that it agreed with me in the moment

i just don't know that was a shitty moment that happened for sure

I'm very sorry, anon. I'm gullible and always looking for the best in people, but also in case it might help you process it, it sounds like maybe she realized she said something massively wrong and awkwardly tried to walk it back with a joke that made it worse? Like she is not necessarily a complete apricot-aligator which, I know, low bar, but. IDK maybe talk to her about it? Hopefully she'd understand and yall would be able to clear the air.

[knyontop]

Hello ;) I wanted to know if you can do Yandere! Bowers gang with a reader preferring the company of the Losers' Club?

The reader may have "made friends" with the Bowers gang and discovered how bad they are. Then he may have moved to the losers' club room and made friends with them. So he began to avoid the Bowers Gang and prioritize the Losers' Club. ;)

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Literally was so SO excited when i got this request!! Part one

Ft: Henry Bowers, Patrick Hockstetter, Victor Criss, Belch Huggins, Bill Denbrough, Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak.

Tw: possessive behavior, Patrick being Patrick, violence, threats, bullying, gaslighting, harassment.

Henry:

・you best believe this man is FUMING😭

・even after you said you would stop being a brat you just go off and hang around some losers!

・although he is super mad, hes also slightly hurt you would rather hang out with them then him.

・now this is not in a “pity me” way it’s because he thinks hes better then everyone and it just hurts his ego that you would rather hang out with someone else. (I dont blame you)

・every chance he gets to jab at you and the losers club he takes, hes definitely meaner to you now that your hangin’ around them.

・but you stand your ground, surprisingly, you felt more confident then you did before.

・but how long would that confidence stay?

・Henry waits for you to try and seek them out, but, you never do and seeing you so happy with the losers club makes him extremely upset.

・hes starting to get tired of this bullshit so whenever he sees you with Bill he snaps.

・Henry grabs your arm roughly the grip so tight it would definitely leave a bruise Bill trys to stop him but he yells at him telling him to stay out of it, Henry gives you two options ether you talk with him or Billy boy gets it.

・obviously you dont want to see your friend get hurt so you go with Henry. (Right choice)

・when you two get alone hes yelling at you practically blinded by rage it honestly scares you.

・”What the fuck!? I thought you were done with your fucking tantrum! I cant BELIEVE you went off with those losers!”

・”There not losers! There my friends-“ slap.

・he shoves you to the ground and kneels down close to you, he grabs the collar of your shirt.

・”I dont wanna hear it. Your coming back to the gang, do I make myself clear?”

・his tone shows no room for discussion so you nod.

・”Like I said, your never getting away.”

・Sorry Y/N, bowers wins again.

Patrick:

・now he is also mad but not as mad as Henry, Patricks mostly just amused that you think you can just ignore him.

・Patrick knows that Henry is not a patient man so he figured that Henry would do something about it soon or you would come back later.

・that is until this starts to go on for months and he himself is starting to get more mad seeing you with the losers club.

・a possessive and jealous feeling growing, it started driving him crazy!

・anytime he passed by you out of school he would give you a glare that clearly said “your in trouble”.

・you have a defiant glare back even though you were scared, it amused and pissed him off greatly.

・you may be able to stand up to Henry, but, Patrick? You know you dont stand a chance.

・even Henry can be disgusted by Patricks actions, Patrick is the most cruel one out of the four delinquents.

・when Henry started talking about getting you back Patrick was the first one to agree, he didn’t care anymore he didn’t even care if you got hurt in the process, fucking hell you deserved it!

・he knew one thing for sure, when you came back, he wasn’t going to let you anger him like this again. Make him care this much about one puny kid. He would make sure knew your place.

・when he heard you were back he was overjoyed, dont take this in a soft way or a cute way it’s quite the opposite hes just glad he can get back at you.

・when hes able to get alone with you he’ll rough you up a bit, asking you if you thought that avoiding them (him) would keep you safe.

・”Did you think that this would last long? Huh stupid? Well looks like the big bad bowers gang got you, stupid.” He always called you stupid, he got a laugh every time you would look like a kicked puppy, you even started to believe that you were stupid.

・he started gaslighting you into thinking that the losers club didn’t care for you, they never did. Why would they? Why would they care for a stupid, weird, kid like you?

・you couldn’t answer that, you were to tired to anyway.

・he felt satisfied with his work so he left you alone to spiral, think about everything he said, to ponder if its true or not.

・his words got into your head, maybe they didn’t care… I mean, you were stupid. Who liked hanging around someone as stupid as you? I mean, except for the bowers gang.

・so now anytime they would try and come up to you you would give them the cold shoulder truly believing they didn’t care, Richie Tozier truly tried saving you from the bowers gangs grasp but he couldn’t. (Maybe just not yet¿)

・Patrick would be seen in the background with a cheshire cat smile, pleased with his work on your stupid little head. You believed him.

Victor:

・poor boy is UPSET😭

・why would you rather hang out with some losers over them? Over him? Why are you avoiding him? Huh? HUH?

・he knows your probably upset about what happened last time, but, why would you hang out with them over him and the gang?

・he just doesn’t understand why. (Which is frustrating on your end)

・Victor is the one who will try seeking you out himself, which always leads into arguments.

・gosh sometimes he just wants to slap the shit out of you you piss him off sometimes!

・but hey, sometimes friends rough house so its fine. (Its not he just wants to justify himself)

・when hes hanging out with his younger siblings all he can think about is you, he misses you but your such a selfish brat your to focused on yourself to even care! No, no, he doesn’t mean that. (Maybe he does)

・Victor wants an apology from you, he thought all of this was over! Why would he even need to apologize?

・hes caught up in this delusion that he didn’t do anything wrong and that your the one in the wrong, but your to young and immature to understand that.

・Victors trying everything to get you back though, he even spreads rumors about the losers club to try and scare you away from them but it did not work you just believed they were rumors..

・when he hears that Henrys going to get you back hes on deck for whatever as long as its not to destructive towards you.

・look, Victor really does care about you honest! Hes just a little… weird about it?

・yeah lets go with that ;)

・anywho, when your back hes all over you telling you off but also saying he missed you.

・he may or may not have known about Patricks little plan to get you back in line but he didn’t stop it.

・whoops, well, whatever he did it worked.

・and all that matters is your with them! (Him)

Belch:

・very disappointed in you.

・literally like a mother😭

・im jk guys but literally mama Belch..

・im jk im JK I dont like people who ignore Belch and Victors darker sides.

・but Belch is disappointed and upset, always looking at you with an almost betrayed expression and angry.

・Belch doesn’t get as physical with kids as Henry but he does push them around so he one time shoved Eddie into you and walked off cus’ he was feeling petty..

・lowkey was kinda funny to Richie.

・ANYWAY.

・(I do NAWT have any ideas..)

・(im winging it)

・he does miss you, he misses the peace you brought him, the happiness you brought him… and the annoyance with your annoying self but then those idiots took you away!

・your just doing this to get back at them, you wont be gone for long, right?

・he hopes.

・(im so sorry Belch lovers😭)

・when he hears your finally coming back hes relieved, he just hopes no harm comes to you in the process.

・but in the back of his mind he believes you need some type of punishment wether it be cruel or not just to put you back in line…

・but it seems the day after your back, your out of that rebellion phase! (Thanks to Patrick)

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Belchs part was rushed.. btw, I think im making this a series! And I have big plains for it :3 how would we feel making the losers club yandere tooooo??

[mellohiizz]

also mane might genuinely experiance low or limited verbility episodes, he has days were he just wont turn on his mic, and will only talk in chat

- 🔍🏰(f:🦜✨)

that's very interesting, actually. i've seen people talk about it as headcanons, but that does seem pretty accurate.

[bobosbillionsknives]

I like the plotline in stampede where vash finds the other seeds ship right after the big fall I like playing around with that idea a bit 😇 (no ship)

[princessmyriad]

.

[martyrbat]

so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

[todayisafridaynight]

>just put aoki in jail instead of killing him so true and make him share a jail cell with his dad that would've been perfect i think. they can have an awkward family reunion when ichiban decides to visit them

no genuinely one of my favorite concepts that i fail miserably to explore is what would it have been like if aoki and sawashiro had to sit in jail together liiike the potential ..........

[munch-mumbles]

see my problem is i need to be more vocal so people can get to know me better and maybe actually want to befriend me but i also need to stop talking so much so i dont irritate people and make them want to avoid me

[local-limebug]

what the fuck is up with the rise in trans hate how are people this sensitive about what someone else wants to do with their own body

[doublekanble]

omg omg i wish i was more comfortable with reading gore stuff because whenever you post i know im missing out on great fics 😭

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T FAUN OVER IT

NO its ok!! im glad you arent pushing yourself for some silly deer demon man and sillier writings! unfortunately the nature of coming up with ideas on my own also entails the problem of writing whatever batshit insane things i got in my head that day 😭

(also ty still! knowing you enjoy any of my work at all is enough of a compliment!!)

[sk3l3t0n444]

i feel like everybody hates me, but especially those who i look up to...i feel like a little kid again...looking up to those who only look down upon me, instead of picking me up and embracing me.

[nostalgia-tblr]

If I could do Fics With A Plot I'd probably attempt An AU Where Lauffey Dies And Odin Goes "Oh Hey, Frost Dudes, I Had Your Heir All Along :D He's Urs Now :D" Except Because This Is A Shit Plan It Does Not Go At All Well. Because it does bother me. Because I worry too much about fictional monarchies having the 'wrong' rules. D:

[zenyuumi]

I hate it here

[grimmjowjaegerjaquez]

thinking about how great kurt and jimaines relationship would be if they were allowed to be Just adopted siblings

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so theres a lot of posts going round about the titanic wreck and the missing submarines; all of them that ive seen have made very good points about how shoddy the submersible seemed to be and how the company decided to wait eight hours before reporting it, and how this is a play stupid games, win stupid prizes for the ultra-wealthy who paid like 250grand a ticket for this thing.

but what i havent seen any posts about is how the titanic wreck is a gravesite and this tourism is disturbing the graves of over 1500 people.

sometimes its kinda hard to remember that those on the titanic were real people; it was over a century ago, the story has been romanticised in so many ways (like the movie), theres conspiracies theories galore that cloud everything with misinformation, but at the end of the day, those who died were real people.

do you want their names? heres a list of them; its a long read. and for fun, heres another site where you can see photos of the children and babies who died aboard.

their bodies are long gone and their lives long forgotten. all we have to remember them and honour them is the wreck itself. its all we have of them and it is their gravesite. its their tombstone.

caitlin doughty/ask a morticians video on the great lakes discusses the topic well, and why we should leave these shipwrecks alone because again, they are the gravesites of all the souls who died aboard those ships. we rarely have bodies to recover so we really are left just with the wreck.

and what really upsets me about titanic tourism is how the majority of those who died that night were not the ultra-wealthy rich folks you might picture when you think of ocean liners.

61% of the first class passengers survived

42% of the second class passengers survived

24% of the third class passengers survived

24% of the crew survived **

the majority of those who died that night were regular folk; not to be cliche, but they were just like us. titanics wreck is not only a gravesite for over 1500 people, its also a majority working class gravesite.

and look at us now. look at what were doing. the ultra-wealthy can pay the equivalent of peanuts to them to disturb a mass gravesite of the exact kind of people they exploit today to hold onto all their wealth. 

its easy to point and laugh at these dumb idiots in their playstation controller submarine, seemingly held together with super glue and duct tape, but its also important to remember that what they were doing was simply disturbing a gravesite for fun. though the company does research, these guys werent down there to conduct research, they were there so they could brag about it to their friends. its like “climbing mount everest” while your sherpa does all the work.

if you cant tell, i have a lot of feelings about this. shipwrecks and ocean liners are one of my special interests and im currently building a (beginner’s) model of the titanic, for fucks sake. but i would never go down to see that wreck because its a fucking gravesite and we should not be disturbing their final resting place.