#but i cant just beg people to pay attention to me because thats insanely annoying. heelp heeeeeeelp meeeeeeee
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munch-mumbles · 4 months ago
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see my problem is i need to be more vocal so people can get to know me better and maybe actually want to befriend me but i also need to stop talking so much so i dont irritate people and make them want to avoid me
#with my sick and twisted powers these can both be true at the same time#i feel like no one really knows me so im not really a Person to anyone and thats not their fault because im just a nothingburger#but i also feel like i get obnoxious and needy and annoying so people dont want to engage with me lest i start yapping at them#sorry i feel like this is something i complain about all the time but when it feels like no ones listening then it doesnt really feel like#actually said it?? its like that 'if a tree falls in the woods and no ones around does it make a sound' thing. at risk of being pretentious#my brain just holds onto it forever until i feel actually perceived#but i cant just beg people to pay attention to me because thats insanely annoying. heelp heeeeeeelp meeeeeeee#this an in general thing but it feels especially potent at work because my coworkers are the only people i interact with irl regularly#and im really trying to make friends there. but its impossible to tell if people actually like me or if theyre just forcing#themselves to be polite to me because we're coworkers#heavy dramatic sigh. i dont know what to do anymore this sounds so fucking lame and whiny but i just wish i had people who loved me you kno#OR EVEN JUST LIKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WANTED TO BE AROUND ME EVEN?#but i cant ask that of anyone because ive become so bored and unhappy with my life that i struggle to keep up conversations especially once#i start getting that worm in my ear that im actually irritating who im talking to and theyre just waiting for me to be quiet and leave them#alone#okay im writing too much thats enough out of meeee#mumbling
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kyouxa · 5 years ago
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Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Ayato Sakamaki (Story 03)
In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask me before translating this into another language too! I’m an amateur translator, but I hope you do enjoy it anyway!♡
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Place: Orange Mansion ー Living room
Ayato: Ugh it’s so annoying. Ruki gathered us all here, I wonder what's the reason for this.
Yui: Eh, what you mean?
(It's been a few days since I joined them, but nothing happened until now)
(Is he gathering us all to discuss what we will do in the future?)
*Ruki enters*
Ruki: Is everyone here?
Shin: Yes, we are. We were waiting for you
Yui: (I’m wondering what they will talk about, I hope it’s not some privat sibling stuff)
Ruki: It’s been a few days since Eve joined our mansion. So let's talk about our present situation again.
Until now we’re having Eve, the key to become king, but she couldn't give us any informations until now.
Yui: (That's right, tho. I’m the key to make someone the king but I still don’t know how)
(I actually don’t know anything about Adam and Eve)
(No matter how long Ruki-kun is waiting, I can’t help them now...)
Ruki: I wonder whats causing your lack of memories, but as long as they come back soon, I dont mind it.
Thats why we should start to prepare for the worst scenario. At least, until she remembers everything again.
What I mean is, that we should prepare for an attack from the other families.
Yui: Attack..?!
(That’s right, they are going to fight their real brothers because they don’t remember them)
Shin: Hm. I like the idea. It's a good opportunity to beat the disturbing flies that aim for Eve.
Ayato: Yes thats it. So it‘s okay to kill every member of each family?
Ruki: Thats right
Kanato: Is that so. I‘ll be welcoming all those noisy people in hell if they just try to enter our mansion.
Yui: (The atmosphere just changed... I‘m sure it’s going to get serious. But I don’t want them to kill each other.)
Shin: Don’t you think the Violet family with Carla as their head will attack as first?
He‘s the one who would be the most violent in getting her in his fingers. Thats why, we should eliminate him first.
Yui: (Shin-san, Carla is your brother and you‘d never want to hurt him...)
Kanato: We should be aware of the scarlet family with Reiji as their head tho. They seem to be pretty strong too.
Ayato: That’s interesting. It seems like we wont be able to kill them without a strategic and smart plan.
In my opinion the first person who would attack us is that insane guy. Reiji wouldnt be a big problem
Kanato: Well, you have a big mouth Ayato-kun. There won’t be any forgiveness if you lose Eve to anyone else
I'll tear you down and make you regret that you even started breathing the same air as I did. 
Yui: (This really means they are going to kill their real brothers...! They can’t do that)
(But, what can I do, how can I get everyone’s memories back...?)
(More then anything else, I want Ayato-kun to get his memories back... maybe we could escape then)
Ruki: A few days passed since we received Eve into our house. Until then nobody decided to make any further movements.
Ayato: Well, if you really think thats the case.  We should attack them as long as we can!
Ruki:*sigh* That idea is completly nonsense. But, we should think about a plan for now.
Tell me about your opinions.
I cant think straight in such a situation anymore, thats why I will listen to whatever your plans are.
Ayato: Well why don’t we split up then.
Shin: Not bad, Ayato. What is our brother thinking about that plan?
I wouldnt come up with a better idea, brother
Ayato: Tch, brother, my brother my ass.
Ruki: Shin, Kanato you two are going to collect, any possible information about the families then. If you got sth imporant report it immediately to me.
Shin: Got it.
Kanato: ...Understood.
Ruki: Ayato will be waiting in the Mansion, while taking care over Eve. You better take responsibility for your role as guard.
Kanato: Wait a second. Why is ayato only waiting here.
Ayato: Eh?! Dont talk shit! Why do I need to stay home!?
Kanato: I just cant accept that. Why can’t I stay here instead of Ayato and look after Eve?
Yui: Huh?! Kanato-kun...
Ayato: I’ve been locked up in that mansion until forever now. I want to go outside too.
Ruki: ......
Kanato: Ayato, are you agreeing with my interests?
Let’s exchange roles then. You just need to hand it over to me, I promise, I‘ll take care of Eve from now on
Ayato: Hah? As if I‘d give my role away. She‘ll obviously go with me and get informations
Yui: Huh? What are you saying it’s dangerous if I go outside..
Kanato: Thats right. What kind of an idiot are you to get such an idea.
There is no way you could guarantee that Eve is safe in your hand either. She could be robbed away immediately if you don’t pay attention.
Ayato: I know how to protect her!
Kanato: I don’t agree
Shin: Cut it out already you two! Is it too much to ask if you could follow the orders you were given?
We'll do it as our brother instructed already. Kanato is going outside, Ayato will stay here.
Ayato: I did not agree to that decision yet!
Kanato: I totally hate this decision
Ruki: — be quit
Kanato: ......huh?
Ayato: What is it....
Ruki: Ayato, Kanato. You‘re misunderstanding the situation.
You two are useless for me if you don’t do what I order you to. I have no use for you then.
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Kanato: ...
Ayato: ...
Yui: (Amazing, Ruki was able to make them quite that easily...)
Ruki: The most important thing is now, Eve needs to be protected at all cost
Don’t make any moves out of your own Intension... I’ll give you the orders 
You just have to play along to what I say. Got it?
Ayato: ...Tch
Kanato: ...Hmh
Ruki: Its settled, cool your head for a while, until you are completly calm
Shin: Heh, it looks good. You should do what our brother says.
*Shin and Ruki leave*
Yui: (They both left...)
Ayato: Damn it!
Yui: (He kicked a chair...! He’s really angry)
Ayato-kun you should relax a little...
Ayato: Shut up! Fuck this, I'm leaving!
*Ayato leaves*
Yui: Hm! Wait, Ayato-kun! Where are you going?!(Ayato can’t let me stay here lonely! I need to follow him!)
*Yui follows him*
Kanato: ...*giggles*
Place: Orange Mansion ー Corridor
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Yui: A-Ayato-kun, wait! Please calm down...!
Ayato: You can calm down!
That intelligent bastard, is always so annoying. I’m not taking any order from him!
Yui: (He’s so angry... that’s so frustrating)
(When I was at Sakamaki's house,Shu and Reiji were always fighting like that)
(Shu-san doesn't interfere and Reiji-san is a little tough to handle, I really miss them)
(It may be that Ruki-kun's way of giving instructions is making him angry) 
Ayato: I hate being locked up, the great me is supposed to do sth better as playing around.
That bastard should actually know that! 
Yui: Maybe... it is better for everyone that way
(I know Ayato-kun is strong, I wonder why he cant go...)
Ayato: Hah? What are you saying. Did you secretly team up with that bastard or what?!
Yui: Kya!
(My shoulders are pressing against the wall, it hurts—)
Choices
1) ーStop him (black)
2) ーDont fight (white)♡♡♡
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ー Stop him
Yui: It hurts! Stop that...!
Ayato: What are you saying. You are usually enjoy it aren’t you?
Yui: ...I dont
Ayato: heh...! You’re a pretty bad liar.
Just continue lying to me and I'm going to be angry. 
Yui: Ayato...kun...   
ー Dont fight♡
Yui: I don’t wanna say I’m weak... ah.. It’s just that I don’t want to fight with you...
Ayato: You are weak! Im stronger than anyone in this house! I want you to know that
Yui: That’s not it...
Ayato: I'm stronger than anyone, I’d never lose!
So don’t worry about it.
You just have to remember that you’re protected by me. I won’t let anything happen to you
Yui: (I know that Ayato is stronger and cooler than anyone else!)
(I’m just worried about him, because I love Ayato-kun)
end Choices
Yui: No, I just want to think about ways other than fighting...
Ayato: The scent of your blood is distracting me.
Yui: .....ah....!
Ayato: I might try another place today, what do you mean?
Yui: Eh, that is...!
Ayato: That’s right, I’m going to pierce you with my fangs just because you like it.
You want to feel the pleasure right? Let me hear your voice then.
....ahh.....ah... haa... aah....., You look excited, I know you like it when my fangs pierce your smooth skin...ahh..!
Yui: Ahh...Hmm...!
(I want the Ayato who I feel in love with, back then so badly)
(It's true that our thoughts were connected but everything’s vanished now.)
Ayato: Look at me. In this house, no, who is the strongest in the world? 
It’s me right? Say it for me. I won’t stop until you do as I say.
Ah... Hmm...Ahh... !
Yui: ....Ahh...!
(...What. He’s more violent today. My conscious is fading... already...)
(I don’t want to say that..., but if I don't say what he wants, he’ll kill me like that...!)
Ayato: Hey, say it, Chichinashi 
Yui: You’re the best Ayato-kun...
Ayato: It’s Ayato-sama!
Yui: Ayato...sama...hn..
Ayato: heh, you’re not done yet
Yui: ...is... the... best...
Ayato: You really cant say it without me getting a little rougher on you
Show me more of that face... Ah... Haa... Aah... !
Yui: No... ahh!
Ayato: Heh... why are you pretending that you don’t like it? You should beg more for me...
Yui: (I can’t feel any strength in my hands and feet —)
Ayato: Whats with your strength. Are you giving up already?
Yui: stop...!
(I fell on the floor... I tried to get away from him, but he forced me to stay.)
Ayato: You truly are an idiot. Get up now.
It seems that it was so miserable that you'd rather be sleeping on the floor then preach me. Hehe!
Yui: (This atmosphere— It’s like the first days I met Ayato-kun...)
(Back then, I hated him...)
Ayato: What is it now.  Even if you show me those hate filled eyes, I will not show sympathy.
Yui: (That Ayato-kun in front of me is not the person I fell in love with)
(I know Ayato-kun, he cares about my feelings and considers how much he sucks...)
(But he’s not here anymore—)
Ayato: (That was fun. After all it is the most interesting to play with her like that ......)
*strange noise* Ayato: ...ugh... what is it?
...Not again. Why did it come back... shit
Yui: Ayato-kun... what’s wrong? Are you okay?
Ayato: Shut up, it’s nothing serious. It’s just this annoying dazzling again...
Place: Sakamaki mansion ー Outside
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Ayato: ugh...?!
Yui: Ayato-kun...?
Ayato: ah... ahh... ahh.. Just what, was that...?
Yui: W-What is it...?
Ayato: There was a place, which I don’t know... running through my head...
Yui: Hey?
*time passed*
Yui: (What does that mean? Did he remember sth from the past, what was it)
(Maybe his real memories are coming back little by little?)
Ayato: ughh... that was weird. Was that a kind of daydream? I really don’t know...
Yui: (I believe that Ayato still has some memories in his head. If I’m only able to recover them —)
Ayato: I’ll return to my room now. Let’s continue our play on another day.
*Ayato leaves*
Yui: Ayato-kun...
Ayato: (That dazzling is so annoying when it appears.)
....why is it only happening when I’m going to drink her blood?
That place... I've seen it, but I don’t remember it, yet I feel like I’ve been there.
Besides, I get that strange feeling when I suck her blood.
She's just my bait, I shouldn’t worry too much about it.
There’s, something burning in my heart... what is that supposed to mean.
Fuck, I’m getting irritated. I’m sure it was just a daydream.
Surely if I stress myself with that dazzling, it might get worse at that point.
Whatever, I shall go to my room.
That woman won’t get away that easy next time. 
I wonder what we should play tomorrow... let’s see.
→ Story 04
← Story 02
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