#but i cant ask that of anyone because ive become so bored and unhappy with my life that i struggle to keep up conversations especially once | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

munch-mumbles · 3 months ago

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see my problem is i need to be more vocal so people can get to know me better and maybe actually want to befriend me but i also need to stop talking so much so i dont irritate people and make them want to avoid me

#with my sick and twisted powers these can both be true at the same time #i feel like no one really knows me so im not really a Person to anyone and thats not their fault because im just a nothingburger #but i also feel like i get obnoxious and needy and annoying so people dont want to engage with me lest i start yapping at them #sorry i feel like this is something i complain about all the time but when it feels like no ones listening then it doesnt really feel like #actually said it?? its like that 'if a tree falls in the woods and no ones around does it make a sound' thing. at risk of being pretentious #my brain just holds onto it forever until i feel actually perceived #but i cant just beg people to pay attention to me because thats insanely annoying. heelp heeeeeeelp meeeeeeee #this an in general thing but it feels especially potent at work because my coworkers are the only people i interact with irl regularly #and im really trying to make friends there. but its impossible to tell if people actually like me or if theyre just forcing #themselves to be polite to me because we're coworkers #heavy dramatic sigh. i dont know what to do anymore this sounds so fucking lame and whiny but i just wish i had people who loved me you kno #OR EVEN JUST LIKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WANTED TO BE AROUND ME EVEN?#but i cant ask that of anyone because ive become so bored and unhappy with my life that i struggle to keep up conversations especially once #i start getting that worm in my ear that im actually irritating who im talking to and theyre just waiting for me to be quiet and leave them #alone #okay im writing too much thats enough out of meeee #mumbling

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