#sorry this is a genuine issue for me but i completely support this with mane

[mellohiizz]

also mane might genuinely experiance low or limited verbility episodes, he has days were he just wont turn on his mic, and will only talk in chat

- 🔍🏰(f:🦜✨)

that's very interesting, actually. i've seen people talk about it as headcanons, but that does seem pretty accurate.

[snowbellewells]

Looking for a Heart That’s not Walking Away ~ch 7

Sorry for the delay, but here is the next installment!  Initially, I thought there would only be about eight chapters to this story, but now it looks as though there may be nine – or at least eight and an epilogue.

Enjoy! I’d love to hear what you think!

 Looking for a Heart that’s not Walking Away

chapter seven: we can feel so far from so close

           The scene in the delivery room once Liam arrives with the returning nurse is one which sets his heart to rapidly pounding and sears itself upon his memory. So many medical personnel and apparatus surround the bedside and the person laboring within it that Belle is at first almost completely blocked from his view.  When a few of those working on her move however, he will never forget the look in her eyes as they meet his across the room.

           She’s holding onto a brave face, he can tell, but the fear and panic blaze through in a way that pierces the heart for one who has come to know Belle as he does. Liam is struck all over again by how little she deserves this torment and upset, this despair in a time that should be full of joy, and is galvanized again by the encompassing urge to help her in any way he can.

           “Liam,” she whispers softly, her look plaintive, as if he would think for a second to refuse coming to her side.  She works a hand free of the blankets, ivs, doctor and nurses around her to hold out to him, and Liam is across the room wrapping his larger fingers around her small, fragile ones in the next instant, before she can utter the rest of her obvious request that he come closer, hold her hand; give her something – someone – to lean on.

           A small smile curves her lips just slightly, a somewhat relieved, if still duly worried, expression on her delicate face.  “Thank you,’ she whispers, her voice so tiny as to be almost silent, and squeezes his fingers where they hold hers intertwined, gazing up at him with such a grateful, adoring gaze, blinding in the flash of clarity it brings him.  He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve such esteem from her, but he’ll not do anything to lose it or let her down – she’s been betrayed and mistreated too often and needs someone to depend on now more than ever.

           Bending his head slightly, he presses his lips in a chaste kiss to her forehead, needing to touch her just then in a way he might not usually presume or dare to express so openly, grateful for her faith and trust.

           If she is surprised, Belle doesn’t show it, instead she leans into the gentle kiss, humming in soft acceptance and pleasure for a moment, until she squeezes his fingers sharply once more and sucks in a pained breath at yet another strong contraction ripping through her.

           “Steady Lass,” he soothes, aching for her, heart beating fast in concerned anxiety, wishing that somehow he could take the pain from her, but the soothing words come naturally to him as he brushes sweaty strands of hair off her flushed cheeks.  “You’re so strong, Darling. You can do this.  I know you can.”

           Belles nods in acceptance of his words, biting her lower lip in determination and pushing through the contraction – at this point only able to hope that her child will fight for her life as hard as her mother is fighting to bring her into this world.  When she can’t stay silent with the pain any longer, Liam only gathers her closer with his arm around her shoulders, whispering encouragement about how well she’s doing and how in awe of her he is.  The petite librarian has never worried about the physical force she exerts hurting someone before, but she worries briefly now that if she grips Liam’s hand much more tightly she may begin to snap bones, even in someone as much stronger and solider as he.  She is about to hoarsely voice a sheepish apology and try to loosen her grasp when a fresh wave of agony from her midsection hits and she is tensing once again. Liam might suck in a surprised breath at her clutch, but he doesn’t comment or pull away, only offers more assurance all over again.

           Looking up from her precious face, his gaze tracks with stormy intensity over her sheet-covered knees to pin Whale where he stands. “Is it normal for her to be in this much pain?  Isn’t there anything more you can do for her?”

           Whale has the good grace to look genuinely apologetic when he answers. It’s hard for anyone to dislike the sweet, generous, clever woman they’ve all seen more of in the months since Belle struck out on her own from her intimidating husband.  She has easily endeared herself to almost everyone in Storybrooke – bringing people books from the library which she thinks they might enjoy, planning various literary-themes events for children and families, and generally working to make their little town a brighter, more pleasant place to live.  He does not wish to see her in pain.  Not to mention that Captain Liam Jones is more than a bit intimidating, staring him down on Belle’s behalf.  Once long ago, when he’d had the younger Jones brother as a patient, Whale thought Killian a rather frightening presence within his hospital’s walls.  He was the infamous Captain Hook after all.  But staring down the elder sibling of the family, the doctor thinks briefly that in this case, history and legend may have taught a righteous fear of displeasing the wrong brother.

           Checking Belle’s vitals once more and observing progress at his end of the hospital bed, the doctor swallows hard before answering Liam’s question aloud. “I’m sorry,” he shakes his head regretfully, “but no, there isn’t anything else we can do at present.  With the sedative earlier, I hesitate to give her any other meds, and until we get this little one out and see what we’re dealing with, there’s really no way to make things more comfortable.”

           Belle pats Liam’s forearm gently, as if – despite her own distress – to calm his and pull him back from acting in a manner they both know he’ll regret.  When Liam looks at her with a curious lift to his brow, she shakes her head just slightly, persuading him without words not to take the anxiety they both feel out on the doctor who is genuinely doing his best to help them.  She’s struck for a second by his younger brother’s resemblance to him in the wondering tilt of the head, but has too much else weighing and pressing for her attention to dwell on the adorably familiar quirk for too long; a few seconds and it flits off to the back of her mind.

           Liam gives a quick nod of acquiescence to her before looking back to Whale with chagrin.  “My apologies, Doctor,” he murmurs gruffly, “Of course you’re doing all that you can.”

           Whale graciously accepts the apology and proceeds, looking to Belle and beginning to issue directions.  “Okay, it’s almost time for this little trooper to join us.  I know you’re tired and you’ve already been at this for some time, but on this next push, really bear down; she’s close to crowning. Ready?”

           Belle nods rapidly, and Liam can feel the tense energy in her shoulders and arms as she steels herself.  Dropping his chin to rest in the soft chestnut mane of hair at the crown of her head, Liam tries his best to embrace her, to offer every ounce of strength he can. He feels Belle release a long, low breath before bringing their joined hands to her trembling lips, kissing his large, weathered knuckles.

           The energy in the room focuses and intensifies; that sweet gesture seeming to galvanize them all for just what they are trying to save.  “Thank you,” Belle barely forces out in a whisper as she pulls back, readying herself for the final push.  Her voice quavers, but she continues all the same, blinking back tears of exhaustion, worry, fear, and also something warm and encompassing, something that she hesitates to label and yet knows it must be, what feels a lot like love.  This somewhat familiar sensation doesn’t trouble or confuse her though, as it has so often in the past; she doesn’t wonder how it managed to occur at all. One look at this strong, brave man beside her in support and encouragement and her heart swells with rightness and completion – joy even, after all this time.  She feels that dauntless strength returning to her veins as well; the pluck and spirit which drove her to be a heroine years and realms ago alive within her once more.  “Just…thank you…for being here,” she chokes.  “Thank you for believing I can do this.  I’m still me.”

           “Anything, Lass,” he returns, and despite all the disappointments and deceptions in her history, the broken promises she has weathered in love, Belle is helpless but to believe him when he adds, “I would do anything for you.”

           Whale watches this entire exchange without comment, gauging the nearness of the baby’s arrival, but he breaks in now.  “Alright, Belle, are you ready to push?”

           She nods determinedly, inching to sit up straighter.  Liam anticipates immediately and eases close at her back to prop her up.

           “That’s it, now on my count,” Whale instructs, holding his patient’s gaze until she nods her understanding.  When he does give the command, she bears down so hard it feels as though her teeth are grinding together and her ears might pop at the strain.  Falling back at the end of the Herculean effort, she pants in Liam’s hold, so drained, wrung out like a wet rag and praying this ordeal is nearly over.

           “Catch your breath,” Liam soothes, smoothing matted, sweat-soaked flyaway hair off her brow, lips brushing against her temple in a soft caress.  “That’s it, breathe in deep now.  You’ve almost made it.”

           He glances up to meet the doctor’s eyes over her head, and Whale gives him a stiff, serious nod of approval.  They have to keep going; it’s time the little one was out and assessed for its needs. “One more time, Belle,” Whale urges moments later.  “This one should do it.  I can see her shoulder emerging…”

           She shakes her head fitfully from where she leans depleted on Liam’s shoulder. “I-I’m not sure…I can.”

           “Yes, you can,” her captain breathes in her ear like a mantra, smoothing her hair, burrowing his nose in it at the crown of her head.  “You must.  You’re bloody brilliant, Darling. One more push and your babe will be here with us!”

           Biting down on the inside of her cheek so hard she almost tastes the tangy, sour blood her teeth draw with the pressure, Belle presses her lips in a thin line, forcing herself to carry on, to shove forward once more, for her daughter – for this child she needs so desperately to see into the world safely.

           “Here she comes,” the head nurse relays from Belle’s knee, Whale concentrated on gently easing the infant from the birth canal to greet them at last.

           Suddenly, as if a dam breaks, a band snaps, and Belle feels the pressure burst and rush free, tears pool and fall in sheer relief and exhaustion while she nearly laughs out loud with delirium, slumping again almost boneless into Liam’s side.  Though the relief and the ebb of adrenaline has her eyes near fluttering closed, she can’t help watching anxiously as the doctor and nurses check the baby at the foot of her bed.  At last, the tiny arrival lets out a reedy little mewl of displeasure, and Belle’s heart melts, a breath escaping her, more relieved at the sound than she can rightly express.

           “There you are, Lass,” Liam murmurs softly, the breath and whisper warm at her temple.  “See? Just like you – small but mighty.  Belle…you did it.”

           Her deep, teary brown eyes flick to his stormy dark blue ones then, admiration and a new grateful devotion in her gaze that he hasn’t received from anyone since Killian looked to him in amazement at the gift of a sextant long ago when they set out on their ill-fated heroes’ journey.  A small smile quirks that lovely, clever mouth as Belle dips her head, but then looks up once more to hold his stare.  “Thanks to you as well,” she returns. “You believed I could, Liam, and it kept me from being alone.”

           In the glow of that moment, one of the nurses steps up close on Belle’s other side with the newborn, cleaned and wrapped in a soft, pink blanket, in her arms. The little one has been easily soothed, no longer crying aloud, but waving her little hands and snuffling slightly. While the woman hands Belle her daughter with the caution that she soon needs to be checked over more thoroughly and to be in an incubator for protection against infections and to lend warmth, she also lets them know it is not so urgent as to keep Belle from holding her new babe for a moment.  The librarian is struck by how small, yet how perfect, this miracle of hers is. Brushing a hand lightly over the surprising abundance of downy dark hair, Belle giggles in a kind of dazed euphoria to find ten adorable fingers and toes and a moving, breathing child after all this waiting, and the panic of the last few hours.  Bending to bestow a gentle peck of the lips to her daughter’s soft crown, Belle then turns to Liam, curious to see his reaction.

           The flabbergasted expression on her captain’s face is more than she could have prepared herself for.  Reaching out one hesitant finger, as if afraid the child might break at his touch, Liam brushes a soft stroke down the infant’s cheek, eyes full of wonder when they return to Belle.  “She’s your daughter, alright Lass.  Simply gorgeous.”

           “I’m just glad she made it,” Belle avows, blinking back more tears with a fond, already enamored smile down at her daughter.  For several lovely, perfect seconds neither of them can tear their eyes away from the wriggling, kicking, healthily pink little bundle in her mother’s arms, her little mouth puckered and shock of dark hair already curling on her forehead.  “She does look like she’s just fine, doesn’t she?”

           Liam nods, curious and charmed irresistibly, as he begins to draw his hand back, only to have the child latch onto the proffered digit before her and hold on as if to keep him close, much to both of their pleasant surprise.  For several quiet minutes, they simply dwell in this bliss – almost a little family where they have been without for so long, joined by this new, fragile little link that they both already love more than life.

           Eventually, however, their warm, perfect bubble is broken into by Whale, bringing them reluctantly back to reality.  “I’m sorry to interrupt, Belle…Captain…but we need to get this little lady up to neonatal care, do a full examination, and make sure there aren’t any complications with lungs or other organs.  That can sometimes be the case for moderately pre-term infants. The incubator certainly won’t do her any harm either…”

           With a sigh, Belle moves to hand her little one back over to the waiting nurse with her cart all made up to transfer the child safely to the necessary floor of the hospital.  Belle bends to kiss her daughter’s soft forehead in goodbye for the moment, adoring her sweet baby scent, when with a frightening puff of magic and smoke, her newborn vanishes into thin air.

           Gasping, Belle’s eyes fly up to search the room frantically, heart literally lodging itself tight in her throat with the knowledge of just what must have happened and who is behind it even before a chilling giggle of wicked glee rings out in the shocked silence.  Rumplestiltskin materializes as the full-on sparkling and scaled reptilian Dark One version of himself, on the far side of the room, infant in his arms.  “Over here, Dearies!” he chortles, sadistically reveling in the horror-stricken looks on their faces.  “Thought I had a right to see my own daughter after all,” he crowed.

           As if on cue, the little bundle he holds begins to fuss and then wail unhappily, balling up her tiny fists and waving them wildly in the air.  Her soft, pink complexion turns red with her continued squalling and though Rumple’s brow furrows slightly, as if perplexed that she doesn’t seem to know him immediately, he makes no move to give the child back.  Belle’s arms ache with a mother’s need to hold and soothe her crying daughter, but weak as she is from the long, fraught delivery, and with his power, she knows attempting to wrest her baby from his clutches will get her nowhere.  Trying for calm reasoning, she offers, “Rumple, she’s crying.  If you’d just let -”

           “Silence!” he orders, an angry motion of his hand slicing the air and cutting Belle’s words off on the tip of her tongue.  “You don’t get to speak.  Just listen.  You won’t move on from me – certainly not with him!” He gestures to Liam with an angry move that frightens Belle for her sailor.  “And I will not lose another child. Not this time.”

           “How dare you speak to her that way?” Liam bellows, unfazed by the anger flickering in the Dark One’s eyes or the menace he holds in just a lift of his finger.  “You would put the child at risk merely to have your way?  After all that you’ve done!” He moves forward, forgetting for a moment in his high passion that there isn’t a sword strapped at his hip. He is about to charge forward anyway – unarmed – despite the other man’s magic and menace, when he finds himself frozen in place, rooted to the spot by the Dark One’s unnatural control.

           “Ah, ah, ah, not so fast, Dearie,” the imp cackles.  “I’ll deal with you momentarily.” His attention returns to Belle. “You seemed to have forgotten, Belle, that you need me.  You always will, so perhaps I must demonstrate.”

           Belle’s eyes had shifted in concern to Liam, whom she can see struggling mightily to free himself and defend her, but unable to budge even the tiniest fraction. However, at those words, they fly back to her estranged husband.  “What are you going to – No!” she begins to ask, then cries out in horror as he passes a glimmering hand over the baby.

           However, in the next moment, her daughter has reappeared in her arms, happily cooing and burbling once more.  “She will be fine now,” Rumple states proudly, “hale and hearty in every way.”

           Belle is torn between a moment of gratitude and narrow-eyed accusation – even if he is trying to help, he doesn’t need to do it so ominously – until a moment later the other shoes drops and he reminds her once again that he is indeed truly the Beast, and not the man she once believed him to be.

           “I’m sure you won’t believe me now, but have the good doctor check.  In the meantime,” and here he practically gloats in his complete power over the situation, “the Captain and I have some unfinished business to settle.  When I return, you will know what I’ve done for our daughter, this distraction,” and here he nods at Liam once more, “will be removed, and you will see that we should be together.  As it will always be.”

           Belle shakes her head, ready to either plead for Liam or argue her case, only to have Rumple vanish in a cloud of magic once more and take Liam with him. She has bowed her head over her daughter’s, tears of momentary defeat and desolation wetting the infant’s soft hair when Killian and Emma storm through the door a moment later.  The stricken look of heartbreak on her face tells them all they need to know.

Tagging a few whom I know might be interested: @whimsicallyenchantedrose @bromfieldhall @nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable @mossandmushroom @kmomof4 @laschatzi @flslp87 @enchanted-keys @midnightswans @galadriel26 @annaamell @jackieorioncat @dramawiie