#i just assumed it had to do with gay people

[genderqueerdykes]

my moms bisexual in denial but i dont think that counts

you know, it's an interesting conversation topic, because i just brought up my own mom who was in denial/in the closet about her identity, too. i do think it counts, even if someone hasn't come to accept it, themselves, because it's there and it's happening whether or not that person accepts it. obviously you don't want to tell your mom who they are and how they identify, but it can be pretty easy to pick up on someone who is queer but hasn't accepted it

my mom was exactly that, too. my mom was a closeted butch lesbian in denial. she would constantly tell me that she wished she could live with, date, and marry women. she told me numerous times throughout my life that she wished she could just marry a woman and surround herself with women. she was very butch, never wore makeup, barely wore accessories/jewelry, almost always wore men's clothes, or women's clothes that looked androgynous. always wore her hair short. she got very scared when i started presenting like a butch lesbian because she saw something reflected in herself that she was scared to admit. she even told me as a kid that i needed to not dress butch because people would assume she was a butch lesbian and call her out for it. you can see that the denial ran deep with her.

it's unfortunate because i feel like we really could've bonded over that, but she's not with us anymore. so all i can really do is think back on how she was too scared to live her true life, and how i just can't do that to myself. my mom lived in a progressive enough state that she would not have had much issue marrying another woman. but she was unfortunately scared to step out of the closet, and many people live those lives. my sister is the same as my mother. she has parroted the exact same things my mother has said, plus, when i was in high school, we had a day where we were supposed to wear a specific color to show support of queer students. when i asked my sister if she had a shirt in that color and explained why, she actually asked me

"Why would you support people who choose to be gay?" in utter confusion, i blinked at her, and went "What, do you wake up every day and choose to be straight?" and i kid you not, she proudly put her hands on her hips and said "Yes, I do!" it was so painful to witness. i wish I had told her "So you... aren't straight." i wish i had had the courage to tell her that's not normal and that if you have to wake up every day and choose to be a specific sexuality, you're lying to yourself. her perspective on queerness never really got better, espcially after i transitioned, but that's a story for another day. my sister blew my mind that day... i realized i had 2 queer family members who were scared shitless to admit it and instead of accepting it, they took it out on me.

sorry for the ramble, but i just wanted to bring up my own experience with this because i'v eknown my mom has been a closeted butch lesbian my entire life and it's something that moves me. she lived her entire life in denial, start to finish, and was never able to be herself. i'd say it saddens me, but it doesn't. it motivates me to always be my most authentic self. because living a life that's not yours isn't living. my mom could've potentially have been a much happier person, but fear kept her trapped in her misery. i don't want to do that to myself

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

a list of songs from arcane, in mostly chronological order, that are - to some degree - icarus coded or like. in that ballpark.

- Playground is . s1 ominous Bane. something about their base being underground something about the taunting something about leading people there something something

- Goodbye . I dunno . Something about prison duo during the cathedral something about broters after the cathedral and when they were kids something something

- Guns for Hire. Midas coded midas coded midas coded. Something about the loss of control Something about walls falling (like the Worldport) Something about being out of time and all of that and not being able to turn back and Something about icarus becoming midas' unintentional plaything and-

- Snakes is s1!prison duo. thank you for coming to my tedtalk

- What could have been. I've been saying this since the beginning that this song is icarus coded. Something about becoming something because of someone else, parts getting replaced and leaving other parts that don't quite fit together something about icarus' anger at midas something about how they coulve been good and alright is midas has more control and they didn't (however unintentionally) do what they did. "Why don't you love who I am?" Is both about midas and fable because like . yeah. "I am your ghost" because they're versions of each other and-

- Heavy is the Crown. Something about being a prince and having all this weight thrust on you and something about having this weight of needed to be what Fable wants. Also icarus would scream sing this and in this essay I will- (also something about everyone else assuming the worst once they sided with Fable. Something about how "if they want me to be the villain ill be the villain")

- To ashes and blood is . oh icarus morningstar . something about burning every bridge and killing everyone they can because they need to be good and make it through to the end of this (even when they won't)

- Remember me. Something about becoming quixis and everyone forgetting and something about icarus not wanting that to happen. (But also something about Icarus losing themself when they sided with Fable and something about how they couldn't even remember themself and something about how they needed other people there (who weren't) to remind them of who they were and-)

- What have they done to us is . s3!prison duo. heart . <3 ("you're not real and I can't pretend" it's like that thing they did in tearing it down its like that thing guys it's like that thing-)

- Spin the wheel has violet vibes to me, honestly. Violet feels very comforting and calm to me and I cannot accurately articulate why specifically this song is coded to him but. Also! Ember said it was wheel not fake when I threw it at him and I have to agree here. Something about a break between it all. And for the gut punch (/hj) dare I say the drinking stream-

- Ma Meilleure Ennemie is . prison duo. that's it. they were enemies but also they're gay and also they're sad and tragic and-

- The Line !! Something about the finale something about how the portal is slowly killing them and something about how it kills them worse after Fable dies and something about how this is where they die and end and how they don't want anyone to know and. "Keep the memories of who I was before" like before Fable came and they became so desperate for his love and- mmmm. "Did I disappoint you?" Something about icarus' fear of failure and how it's just. constantly there. "Will they still let me over if I cross the line?" Something about how they didn't know how people would react after they killed Fable, something about how everything they'd done to that point had been crossing the line (something about how they only ever wanted Centross back) "sure there's nothing left to try" you know . the wack. and how they tried everything with momboo. and how it never worked. and how it's not gonna work for them.

- Wasteland . oh its so finale icarus coded. Something about how they've tried so hard for the past 5 months of their life to just survive (and how the fact they had to do that is all their fault) and how they did and they're okay with death now because at least centross is alive and at least everyone else will be okay eventually and they'll all get to survive and icarus won't be there as a stain and how they're going to die anyway and how they might as well do it themself (and how they don't want to face it because they want Centross back and they just . Can't have that) and "if it weren't for you I'd be here all alone" something about how centross kept them from being alone for so much of their time in the resets and . "I know in my heart this is where we belong" like literally ic talking to Rae before they jumped in the hole- "Don't let me go" something about how even if death woule be better for them they don't want to go and they just want more time with centross and as quixis they don't want anyone to forget them and-

yeah anyway . music thoughts go brrr

[falsettos-tight-knit-family]

Mini-headcanon: Cordelia was a theater kid when she was younger. She told Whizzer this once, and he couldn't help but comment that she'd been a thespian lesbian. The two of them were the only ones who found it funny-

[statementlou]

hello :) could you maybe explain a little bit how dan wootton blackmailed louis?

ugh sorry for taking a while to get to this. The problem is I feel like the only two ways to answer this are by spending a week and a half of full time labor sifting through old posts and evidence to get every detail right and lay out an airtight case, or to halfass something very serious, and so I felt a little stuck. So since I can't seem to find a good halfway point, apologies but here is the half assed version, if you want to get into it more I invite you to do your own deep dive or talk to other people, but here's how I remember things. Louis has almost never on video explicitly said things about Larry not being real and/or anything negative about fans and their theories (mostly the opposite), up until the last couple years when he obviously decided to make a major change he didn't talk about Freddie much at all let alone saying he was his kid, honestly not that much about Eleanor even; except for in two major interviews with Dan Wootton, each of which lined up with a serious traumatic Tomlinson family event that they managed to keep out of the tabloids until the very end (Jay's illness and Fizzy's struggles with substance abuse). After the fact of those events a lot of small things that didn't make sense at the time came together to look very much like Louis traded those interviews (and those answers) for having his family's private matters kept private. Story trading of this kind is a publicly known real thing that happens, and there were various clues that suggested he was being leaned on about those stories to lend legitimacy to the idea that it was something that happened in these cases. Given what we know about Dan Wootton and how he operates even before the recent flood of information and even more now, I think it's more than likely that he has been holding the threat of outing Louis (as he has done to many other public figures) over his head for over a decade, and has used his family's tragic struggles to get Louis to dance like a fucking puppet for him and I will REJOICE at his downfall when it comes whether it is now or 20 years from now... because someday it will, he has made too many enemies to stay above it forever

[deep-space-lines]

so im taking that oil painting class rn right. i mentioned wanting to paint something original instead of just copying a reference bc that's all the teacher has had me doing so far and he agreed I'm probably ready and went off on this whole tangent about how i shouldn't be nervous to try to do something more original and creative and how he'll show me some original stuff his friends have painted and had shown in galleries etc etc, and... I think somehow he's been assuming that the reason I've been painting realistic stuff directly from photo refs is because that's the kind of art I like to do and that I'm nervous about trying something else??? instead of what he's been telling me to do?

which is really funny to me because apart from this class I haven't 1:1 copied a reference for years, I just haven't gone out of my way to show him any art I make in my own time because this is like a professional full-time oil painter who has paintings in galleries and shit, real high-brow art stuff, and idk how to tell him that left to my own devices I draw video game fanart and dragons and furry commissions and gay sex and cringe and i dont want to draw other things

[domoriu]

ive had such an…. interesting day today 😇 anyway how are you all <3

[here-there-were-dragons]

i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that

[void-tiger]

…sometimes I just. Think about. How literal siblings get stuck with rumors they’re dating, and m-f friendships often don’t get a chance to truly start or develop because of the strain those assumptions and pressure causes…

…while literal same-gender and aspec-affirming couples get slapped with “like siblings” this and “just really good friends” that.

And then how this gets even more reductive with infighting like “m-f friendships can only occur when one of them is homosexual,” or aspecs picking at eachother over rep until it’s a very specific type of aroace on the aroace spectrum of the aspec spectrums (and nobody’s actually happy), and of course fanon ships pitted against gen-no-ships…

…and how everyone just ends up feeling stressed out and invalidated. Because anything—and I do mean anything—that doesn’t fit neatly inside of the heteronormative narrative of “men and women can’t be friends, men and women must be romantically involved, people of the same gender and/or aspec/any other queer identity(ies) must never date.”

And how it makes the queers and cichets alike absolutely miserable.

[wakeupthemembersofbylernation]

It’s wild how so many people are fundamentally incapable of recognizing queer characters unless they explicitly say the words, “I’m gay” on screen

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

tbh that last ask reminded me...

[seddair]

,

[skateisawesome]

i really dont want this to come across as homophobic but i have lifelong issues with tone so if it does can someone tell me and ill fix it!

so i have spent the last 4 years of my life coming out as a straight person. sounds stupid.

but basically i have had so many dating rumours surrounding me and my friends that i used to get asked at least once a week if i was gay. i dont know what im doing thats making everyone think im dating my friends but apparently i do it to everyone. i have been the queer awakening for several of my close friends who fell in love with me and through that discovered that they liked girls.

all of that is fine and i can deal with it. im happy to keep correcting people and i've been working on being less flirty with my friends and putting effort into it. what's been pissing me off for the last year or so is the ongoing assumption that i am gay and i just dont know it yet.

i have been outright told by people "one day im going to kiss you and youll discover you like girls"

it made me feel uncomfortable and weird and im gonna be so honest here. i just dont think i like girls that way. i really thought about it and i dont. but i would (and still am) getting told by my close friends that one day when i 'eventually come out' they are all gonna sit around and say i told you so.

but i also wanna say that if i ever was to discover that i was not straight, it would be pretty hard to come out to any of those people, to any of my friends. theyd be so aggressive and constantly tell me that they knew or that it was old news. and so it kinda feels like even if im questioning things, ive been forced to reiterate that im straight so many times that being queer doesnt feel like an option anymore. its like i was forced to decided gay or straight when i was twelve and then people have harassed me ever since and now im not allowed to change what i chose even if i was to be seriously considering not being straight.

to me that feels really fucking toxic and its just upset me for the longest time.

and at this point i dont know what to do. like i cant really retaliate or say anything without people thinking im homophobic (which i swear to you i am not and my intention is not ever to harm that wonderful community in which so many people i love exist). i never want to hurt anyone but like what the fuck do i do!

im so sick of this. its also so weird and i kinda doubt that anyone else has really had this problem lmao.

i would love some opinions. look idk why im posting this. i dont care. i want people to tell me im justified but i also want people to tell me why they think im not. i want someone else to tell me what to do because i dont know.

[femslashspuffy]

All those articles and posts about "the best show that no one is watching" kinda miss the big picture. Iwtv is the most popular show on amc, as they say every single time I open the app. The problem is that amc is a late game streaming service with almost nothing enticing on it. The only reason my dad is considering getting it after I stop my very brief subscription is to watch Mad Men.

I pirated season 1 and now I have the dvd so they don't have my statistics when I rewatch. I plan to get the dvd for this season too but if the show is unpopular it is mostly because it is on one of those streaming services where things go to die. They made a good decision by allowing season 1 to be available on HBO and you can watch ep1 for free on prime but HBO is also one of the most expensive streaming services out there and that one episode teaser doesn't properly display what the show is

If it was on prime like good omens or Hulu like Buffy and wwdits it would probably be a lot more popular. It relies entirely on word of mouth and most people I know pirate it (or use my login)

[waywardsalt]

anyways. holding linebeck gently

[liebelesbe]

I miss my Berufsschul-Klasse 😭 I was finally like. a tiny bit out. about to come out. comfortable with the possibility of being out. and then the universe said "haha I have given you a taste of something you've always wanted! now watch as I take it away!" *makes me get sicker*

[maximus-gluteus]

nothing to see here