#but yesterday i was just watching some videos and looking at art and stuff

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

tbh that last ask reminded me...

[the-acid-pear]

youtube keeps forcing me to look at the fnaf theory community in there and its honestly going to leave me bald those people are fighting for their life. It's all constant attempts at disproving each other but also people being just broken. "The moment the fnaf timeline broke", "the fnaf line that broke us". Someone help these people. It's been just a few months since matthew left and these people are still picking up the pieces fr.

[amymbona]

amy after seeing that vid from mike’s tumblr i can’t stop thinking about early 2010’s tumblr moot art :’( he follows you one day and you don’t think much of it but then all of a sudden he’s liking every single one of your posts and commenting stuff like “ ❤️ this!” under your writing and when you go to check his blog you’re so confused cause it’s all about his friends and tennis and video blogs and motivational quotes but you follow him back anyway cause despite the graininess he looked really cute in his videos!! not even a few minutes later he’s sending you a dm saying “thank you for the follow back :)” and you start talking regularly and!! if you’re a smut writer it eventually gets brought up in the convo and you find out there’s a lot that lies under art’s soft innocent exterior 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Frnchgirls you delivered once again 😫😫😫

Tumblr user donaldsonart1, he's so adorable :( liking and reblogging everyone's posts because he wants to see the people grow more and more famous, to have their blogs be really loved and appreciated. You question how did he really make it to the fanfiction side of tumblr, especially your own blog, because you mainly write smut about Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Later, you discover that he really fucking loves Harry Potter.

He looks young too, in his early 20s, you presume, and it's easy to notice he's into tennis. His blog is simple, not too aesthetically decorated, and his bio just says "tennis is love, tennis is life :)" and his profile picture is a slightly blurry photo of him in front of some big ciry skyscraper. Simple but really cute.

Donaldsonart1 uses an awful amount of emoticons as well, his favourite being :) >.< and :3 which makes you think that sometimes you're texting a sixteen year old girl. He's really sweet and sends you pictures of Wolfstar fan arts. That's when you begin noticing certain cracks in his innocent attitude, and little hint of something you people know as nsfw. It starts simply with Art letting you know about his attraction towards certain people, the most mentioned ones being Roger Federer and Hilary Duff.

donaldsonart1: did you see what i reblogged?

donaldsonart1: about the movie cinderella

donaldsonart1: i really like the actress :) she's very pretty

And then a few days later, he really fucking lets loose.

donaldsonart1: i watched a match with roger federer yesterday. he's really good

donaldsonart1: idk why they're dressing him in these tight shirts

donaldsonart1: i wrote a smut about him btw, would you like to see?

donaldsonart1: :)

You read it, of course. Staring at your phone screen with an open mouth, you have a hard fucking time closing it because this is by far the most violently pornographic piece of art that you have ever read. Something so incredibly filthy that you almost doubt someone so angelic looking has actually written. These are not the words of the baby faced guy who's been living in your DMs for the past few weeks.

[sprinklenoodles]

Okay!

This one is going to be shorter since I am trying not to stay up late! (Future me. I lied but I made it! It's not 12 this time! WOOOOO!!!) 'Tis 11pm rn instead of 12 or 1am. Decided to read And Then I Go And Spoil It All By Saying Something Stupid Like "I Love You" Did more art today so I didn't have a lot of time to read that much! Also, it's Jin and Kijo! The doomed gays!! I had too! Also, sliding this in. Hope you had good celebratory time!!! I'd say more but I forgot how to use more words. Yay for celebratory noises! As for my vaguely silly comments for the fic, it be good. Short, sweet, got the TUMI lore in there. So, pretty neat! Not crazy or anything since it's a little oneshot into the lives of Kijo and Jin in their youth, but still!! Makes me think more about these two. Mostly Jin because I never even cared about him much other than "HEADMASTER" and "KYOKO DAD". That kinda stuff. Never even took account like... his personality and what he likes, dislikes, or even how he was in his youth. Guess he kinda just existed in my mind before so it feels nice finally thinking critically about his character a bit more. With Kijo, I always had that intrest because he's so much of a mystery. In the game, there's only the allusion of his preseence cus "Duh! Byakuya came from somewhere. Not some money hole like some money mole" (heehee that rhymed) And like, the only stuff of Kijo IS his name. So I already was in that mindset to wonder about him. What kinda of guy would be responsible for the creating of Byakuya. Which, honestly, maybe I just need to one day go and just... look into the depths of Jin lore. A Jin Journey. Cus I know nothing and it is a crime. Realized this didn't have much fic talk in it and more just me blabbering about Jin and Kijo so I hope you don't mind! Also, since why not add some out-of-pocket thought, I must say this cus it's true and happened yesterday on my end and it's a wild realization. AHEM. I think Byakuya Togami made me realize I might be aroace or like, on the aroace spectrum. This sounds so dumb but it's true. Also think your headcanon for him helped me realize that. I thank you for good fics, interesting ideas, and self-actualization somehow. Like, no one could have guessed that to be on the bingo card. So, by the time of your reading this, it'll be like, 2 days since I had that realization which I'm still shocked about! I digress though. Thus, to end this off, take this MS paint doodle I made in like... less than a few minutes.

The way I drew Kijo is so freaking funny to me. He's so head empty. You bonk that head and he just doesn't react cus there's nothing in there. Also, would their ship name be Jijo or Kin? Kijogiri? Jingami? Also, I will give Kijo better hair some day. I promise!

That little one-shot is one of my favs. It's both recent and is just a nice little addition to the TUMI universe, which I always love to do.

It was also just time for Jin and Kijo to get something that focuses just on them, even if it was just a prequel... but who knows, that might become more...

But I really liked writing it and I'm glad u liked reading it :D

Loved the little doodle too! Poor Kijo's hair tho 😔 And I dunno what the ship name should be... Maybe something ✨creative✨

As for what you've realized, congrats! I'm glad my fics could help with that, though I'm not that surprised that they did. One thing I've noticed is that quite a lot of my readers are aromantic.

Also, I recommend watching this video by JaidenAnimations! It's her coming out as aroace and was quite eye opening for me back when I watched it the first time!

But congrats on figuring that out! If you ever have any questions or whatever, you know where to find me!

[firadessa]

✨Fairies Finds✨: New Early Artwork and Promotional Video from 2005 Disney Fairies Japan Website with Gail Carson Levine- Author of Fairy Dust Trilogy

Fly with you everyone and happy Friday the 13th! I have been looking into Disney Fairies pre-release stuff ever since some early stuff was posted into Art of Disney Fairies. I have also been interested in media preservation since late 2017 when I found Web Back Then. Truthfully, despite having this interest when trying to find the old Disney Fairies games from my childhood- I never really shared much with the world. I feel like I should remedy that! (this find is relatively recent though I found it yesterday!)

This is a video I found on the Internet Archive from disneyfairies.jp, a promotional page on the Disney Japan website that seems disconnected from the main Disney Fairies page which was a clone of the original website. See here

Through some research the gist of the video is this:

The video starts with an introduction to the original Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie, which is interjected with clips from Disney's Peter Pan. Then we see more artwork of Disney Fairies- including unfamilar designs including early Vidia, Rani, Fira etc. According to Part of the Magic, Disney Fairies started development in early 2001- the series was launched fully in 2005. Then Gail (dubbed of course) begins to describe the plot of Fairy Dust and the Quest for the Egg whilst we see several pictures of this early Disney Fairies art. Interesting pictures as we get to see the very early designs of Disney Fairies characters that I have never seen before.

Interestingly, this video was never embedded on the page, you had to download it and play it through a video player such as Windows Media Player or Real Player, it was 2005 after all.

Here is the screen you'd see when you'd want to watch this promotional video. I recognize the leaves used in early flash games such as Lightball Challenge, Dragonfly Race etc.

A page on the website that I found with my decomplier, i couldn't view it normally!

I tried looking for this video in English to no avail, or any version on the internet. It must have only been accessible through this website.

Interestingly, I found this other page whilst doing my page digging thing again and found this, suggesting this was also a Japan exclusive and not for the American market ... and there is more early promotional stuff to be found in relation to Disney Fairies!

I also looked into one the main book artists on the creative team, Judith Holmes Clarke. She had a website I found on her IMDB page, that was live around 2017-2019. I saw this and wanted to add it as it had one of the stills in this video. It also has a sketch of Rosetta and Tink. This is what I found:

It is probably a scan of this magazine, Disney Newsreel, mentioned on her IMDB.

Overall, I'm super happy with this find and I'm so happy to share it with you all!! I will be happy to share more now that I'm publicly outing myself not just as this fan of children's fairy media- an archivist. gasp...

Also probably making a website/blog which I will share later and will be in the About Me link with my other socials.

And believe me, this is just the beginning

[whywoulditho]

"the fandom ruined mha" is one of those vastly popular opinions that i've never quite understood. because they honestly...weren't as bad as people made it seem??? i swear people with zero fandom experience will see a thirteen year old in cheap cosplay having fun and say shit like "ew i hate this fandom you're ruining it" like maybe leave the goddamn kid alone??

mha has a very large fan community, and what makes it a little different than most other anime fandoms is that mha was specifically targeted for a global audience. they did their best to avoid any quirks and cliche tropes of anime that would go over non-japanese' heads. the art style is pretty cartoonish and it's got lots of references to western comics. there's a whole ass movie set in the US. what i'm trying to say is that a large, international fandom was always what they were going for, and it was well received. it was one of those shows that you'd kind of had to watch if you wanted to be in anime spaces back in like 2016-2018. mind you this is when even aot wasn't that popular. and when something is so popular, there's gonna be lot of weird people in the fandom. BECAUSE most of them will be people who have never been in fandom spaces before. the "cringy mha fans" that were the butt of every joke in anime discord were more of than not minors having just been introduced to anime or fandom culture as a whole. there were lots of weird stuff, i admit. but was it ever really that serious? like why couldn't yall just leave those people alone??

another thing people just couldn't stop talking about was how there were way too many ships in the fandom but 1) why is that a bad thing? and 2) of course there were gonna be a lot of ships in a show that introduced TWO WHOLE CLASSROOMS OF TEENAGERS AS THE MAIN CAST who interacted all the time. not to mention all the students from other hero schools, upperclassmen, pro heroes & teachers. there are like a million characters in this show and the more characters the more potential ships -it's fucking common sense. i think what really happened there was that people outside of the fandom looked at the fanmade content and thought the fandom must have been obsessed with ships. when in reality i think the fans were really chill about it. most of them were multishippers, they didn’t mind the other pairings. i understand that for an outsider's eye all the ships and disclose must've looked chaotic but in fandom spaces people know how to filter the content they engage with so there really arent any serious "ship wars" going on anywhere except for maybe instagram comments.

i am not saying all the ships were unproblematic, there were some pretty weird ships going on too, but honestly i thought half of them were jokes? or at least crackships? and if you compared the number of fics those kind of pairings have on ao3 to the more family friendly ones you'd see that there really weren't an actual fanbase for any of those weird ass pairings.

i think the core of mha fandom has never been as chaotic as others thought it was. mha fans were interested in the story, the fights & the character development while casually enjoying ships as well. it wasn't that serious until yall started bullying a bunch of kids online. with the rise of tiktok and the boredom the pandemic caused there were a huge amount of amateur content. i'm not saying i've never seen a mha fan being genuinely cringe. i just think the mature response to those posts would have been leaving the poor kids alone.

yesterday i've seen a youtube video about how awful mha fans are and this guy just showed a clip of a bunch of cosplayers outside of what was probably an anime convention dancing to gangnam style and he was going on and on about how annoying they are. and it made me so angry because where the fuck did these anime fan bourgeoisie snobs come from telling people they can't have fun at FUCKING ANIME CONVENTIONS??? i dont know if you've ever been to one but an anime con is basically the only place that's supposed to be safe to do cringe shit like that. everyone goes to those things in cosplay, some better than others. but last i checked everyone was pretty nice to each other, complimenting each other's costumes, asking to take photos. the cosplays don't have to be good, they don't even have to be complete. a convention is the one place you can show up in a wig you bought off ebay and a costume you finished making the night before. i dont know what yall are on but people go to those events to have fun. not to be filmed and made fun of. and from my personal experience having been in fandom spaces since middle school, someone who dances to gangnam style in a cheap todoroki cosplay is an infinitely nicer person than the stuck-up loser who makes a video complaining about it

[zeondraws]

I may be blind and have not tried to explore all the file locations in fmodel until now.

Found where the map textures are located, or for example all the people that died like Jamie, Kelly and all. I finally got a good look at Kelly!

This here be Kelly

Poor bastard

Okay, with this in mind I'll go through all folders in fmodel at some point, I have to see what else I can find. Found some unused/to be deleted folders which I found interesting

Hhmmm yes

So much work ahead, it really eats away my time, I've noticed, couldn't finish artworks recently. Mostly tried to work on that one AU drawing to have it almost done. But all this research eats my time which results in less time for art. Then I watch everyone else draw so much and I sit there thinking, man..

When I listen to soundfiles I can't draw at the same time since I need to stay focused on the sounds. However I managed to listen through 2k yesterday. I really really wanna be sure I have all the sounds for the Muir video, I literally found a different version of a perch howl yesterday! That one was not inside the actual Muir folder.

raaaah, the lore thickens. This could mean I can stumble upon other soundfiles from Muir that aren't in his Puppet folder. I only have... 16000 files to go through now. Number is getting smaller (I managed to listen to over 8.000 now).

If anyone ever wonders if I'll make a video of the soundfiles of other Puppets... maybe.. but I'd have to sort all these darn soundfiles from the Media folder. It's probably why people before me didn't bother at all. It took me over 2h and 30min to listen to 2000 files. Now calculate how much I need for 16000

Hhhmmm forbidden gummi, these are from Roper-

But hm, I currently want to finish that one artwork, then I need to sit down and draw something for a friend of mine for Secret Santa. Want to finish this Muir video before the year ends (I want to see it finished soooo badly). And maybe continue that super detailed Muir painting I had to put on hold, due to moving. The one I mean is shown on my pinned post here, that already took days to make and I'm not even halfway done with it. I want to see how far I can push my render skills atm.

Oh and draw a bunch of buses again, but on paper to get better with traditional art.

I always had problems managing my time (nothing new for me, so don't be confused if I do 6273728 things at once XD), tho I probably will figure out how to deal with this at some point. I always got yelled at, at my old workplace for taking too long on things, even tho my coworker kept giving me new tasks to work on so I couldn't finish the first thing he wanted, so he became more angry at me if I spend 3 weeks on something. Or spend 3 days on a task he usually finishes in 1 day, like. What? Like, he became soooo weird about it, that he tried to be angry about anythiiiing. And then he got confused when he heard what I told other coworkers in private. When he said that, I got flashbacks to my other uncle being angry that I told teachers how bad I felt mentally (at school). This is so confusing

I got praised for my work in the new job, which is wild that they don't expect me to work like a machine but to take my time. People aren't so focused on speed here.

So I don't know if my way of working on things is super bad, or if it's just dunno, big projects require so much energy and time. And then I watch everyone do so much art and I'm like waaaaiiit I wanna draw too Aaaaaaa. I wish I could eat art, because I frkn love art so much I shake my fists in the air whenever I see gorgeous artworks from others. Or see some absolutely stunning moviessssss.

I need to buy frames- I need to hang some drawings.

Okay Fellas, imma go tidy up my apartment and sort some stuff. I still have something to do in my bathroom.

busbusbusbusbusbusbusbusbusbusbbusbusbusbusbusbus

[thewrittingpan]

Painting Lies 3

Phinks x reader, Fetain x reader, Shalnark x reader

Tigger and content warnings include but are not limited to: blood, gore, violence, kidnapping, abuse, mental health issues, trauma

Wc: 6501

Tumblr links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

Ao3: Here

You think you remember the two blonds being there, but you also remember your legs being twice their usual size. Honestly you just stared at the ceiling for a bit wondering what the hell was going on in your head. For all you know you did get into a fight with a giant blanket yesterday but also you felt like you had somehow completed an entire treasure collection in that game you played. Everything in the dream was too close to reality for your liking.

“Hey Phinks?” You looked out into the hall to see if he was up.

“What?” The door across the hall from you opened.

“Weird question, did we have a staring contest during dinner or did I dream that?”

“That kind of happened.” he went to close the door.

“Okay, did you play video games yesterday with me watching?”

He looked at you terribly confused, “no?”

“Did we set up the table?”

“No, shalnark did.”

“Did I go to the basement? Does the basement have a whole art studio too? Because I dreamed there was like some art supply store or something in it and I feel like I'm going insane.”

“Yes to both.”

“Okay okay, now the part that ia really fucking with me is that i swear i woke up in the middle of the night-”

“You did.”

“-and you and the other guys were there-”

“Correct.”

“Then I got kissed goodnight by the three of you? And like some drink that you see moms in movies make for kids after a nightmare?”

He stood looking at you, you had no idea what he was thinking, honestly he looked as confused as you were.

“That didn’t happen, those two just wanted to see you before leaving.”

“Weird.” You mumbled to yourself. “It all felt like stuff that happened or could have.”

Everyone had dreams that left them confused when they woke up, or well you think everyone does. Waking up from them can vary, like with every other kind of sleep. When it came to “what the fuck happened who am I” level of confusion dreams waking up in anyway that left you dazed was not a good thing. What you personally think is worse is when you don’t feel like you have been asleep, or when you think you haven't had a dream.

Your thoughts fizzled out until you could have been a cartoon character with smoke coming out of their head. Confusion sticks, the whole day would probably feel off, and hell you might just fall back asleep with how just trying to think through it all was driving you mad.

“Are you going to spend time around the house or in your room?” Phinks was leaning against the door frame.

“Oh-“ you sifted through your ideas to keep yourself entertained.

There were the new games you’ve been given, but the clearly visible camera in your room had been creeping you out. You had some books but part of you couldn’t stand the idea of reading at the moment, something in your bones felt like they couldn’t find a comfortable way to sit to read. Maybe you could draw- there was that sketch you wanted to paint.

“I might go paint something?” You asked him.

It felt like you were allowed to go paint down there whenever, or that was the ideal goal they had with showing you it. Though there was something about this house, even with Shalnarks advice of Phinks being surprisingly soft, you felt like you were standing on an inch of ice and it was already waiting to break.

He nodded, “Not a bad idea, just don’t go past the curtain, Fetain doesn’t like anyone touching his things. I’ll make something simple to eat, I’m not much of a cook so you’ll have to put up with it or make your own food.” He walked past you towards the kitchen, “I’ll stay down there to make sure you don’t go poking around in things you don’t want to see.”

Yeah totally not threatening or creepy in the slightest. Hell part of you felt like a horror movie character right now, that vague warning only made you want to see what was down there. As you gathered your sketches your mind ran wild. The stairs in this unfinished basement were creaky wood. You looked at your feet as you descended, the wood was nice and sanded, with no nails that you could notice. Yet your mind drew with jagged lines, poorly put together stairs covered in splinters. That would be too empty, not enough visual interest but something could be drawn from those mental images of stairs. Maybe if something was spilling down the stairs it would be interesting, something twisted hidden in the shadows or beneath the stars themselves, something hard to notice but once you do it’s shocking.

You pulled out a pre-stretched canvas. For a while your hands hovered over two, each size would have its benefits, the smaller ones could make the figure have a “weaker” tone. Though the larger would allow the grotesque details you were longing for. Yet you could alter your concept slightly and “zoom in” on a smaller canvas, get up close and personal with the spine. You propped them both up so you could more easily compare them while sorting through your sketches. You tore them from the sketch book with a strange chaotic need. They were spread out across the cold concrete floor. Scattered and overlapped so they could all be seen without taking up much space. It was a kaleidoscope of paper and ink, and you were the crazed lunatic who had created it.

“You’ll have to pick those up when you finish painting.” Phinks stepped down the stairs holding a large plate full of scrambled eggs and waffles. “Or do you think you’ll need to have them spread out while working?”

“Do you have tape?” You asked, “Something stronger than a basic office tape, I could hang them on the wall?”

“Eat some, I’ll find some.”

The food was weirdly over and under done. The waffles had parts that were slightly more runny than they should be but the eggs were concerning. Parts were crispy and almost burnt, while the rest was fluffy, almost as if he had gotten distracted and almost made a bad omelette.

“Duck tape and packing tape.” He placed one roll of each on the table beside you.

“Oh, thanks, that’ll work fine.”

He was quiet, but it wasn't the same way Fetain is. Fetains silence was a threat, one you had grown used to. He had this weight to him that was impossible to ignore when alone, though he easily blended in and was easy to ignore in a group. Phinks was almost the opposite. You never noticed him when it was just him, though that didn’t mean you trusted him in the slightest. There was a comfort to him, familiar almost, half memories of moments with an old friend or a split second where you almost felt like you were sitting in the room with a long forgotten family member. Warmth tried to spread through you, you desperately wanted to trust him when you felt the familiarity, but how could you when you knew nothing about him.

You taped away. Deformed figures, haphazard diagrams and sketches of anatomy from memory. While each sketch held some semblance of a thought, a firework of an idea, sometimes you found that the best ideas grew when you worked without a clear thought. Molding fog and light created forms and shapes that you may overlook, sometimes you could compare them to an instinct, or a deep need to connect with something you had yet to fully understand.

These things made the beginning difficult but one of the most fun parts of it all. Every thought could be quickly scribbled out, fulfilling the urge to create, but not held back by perfection. It was wild, untamed, which made it unpredictable. A great idea could last a second before flickering out while a bad one could haunt you, not because the idea’s roots were rotten but because the branches had been infested by a failure to succeed.

You stared at the sketches of green bruises. The needles poked through skin, emerging from the bones themselves. Single drops of blood would sit atop the skin, staining it, drying deeply into the grooves. If the dirt and grime of the depicted horror went untreated it would stain not only the mind, but cling to the body like death itself, unable to be removed with hours upon days of scrubbing. It would always feel dirty, and you could always end up permanently stained.

This gorey twist that you adapted in your work was a little strange, even you had to admit it. You didn’t like the idea of torture porn when it came to horror movies, which some found surprising, clearly you didn’t hate it, but there had to be something gained from it. In your pieces you wanted each graphic mark to mean something, there needed to be a story you could read into if you wanted, but often they became reflections of struggles. It was relaxing, in the way that snapping and throwing something can make you sigh and sob after the frustration was finally released.

The thing about art is that it sucks ass. While it can be a weight off your shoulders and drain all of the stress out of you, it could just as easily make you want to stab someone’s eyes out. Staring at pins and needles for long enough just made you want to see your eyes shut so you didn’t have to see them everywhere else. Even closing your eyes made you think of the horrible blotchy shading that just did not want to work because you didn’t think and added too much water to your paints. Hell every time you groaned in frustration your fucking kidnapper look scared. So you tossed the brushes in the sink and worked on scrubbing out the paint before you ruined them right away.

“Do you usually work in these long multiple hour sessions?” He asked you over the sound of running water.

The water was cold, dangerously so. Your fingers toyed with the hair gently mixing small amounts of soap into it. This rhythmic movement helped calm you down and get out of the “holy mother of cats why won’t things go right” headspace that you got stuck in.

“Yeah, that’s common, anything less than three is an oddity.”

“I guess I just didn’t understand how hard it was.”

“Every job is kinda like that.”

You left the brushes on a spread out towel to dry. The pallet of rapidly drying paint was still there and there were a few reasons for why you didn’t clean off the paint; it’d ruin the plumbing, it was half dry anyways, you didn’t care, and it was fun to peel off later. If that little thing could give you some control maybe it would be worth it to wait and try to earn a way out.

Part of you felt like you were giving up too easily, that you had already lost your will to fight when you woke up that first day. Yelling at yourself wouldn’t do anything and you knew that but you felt like it was your fault. Perhaps you’re just the circus elephant tied to nothing. Yet you didn't blame yourself, or at least not as much as you think you were supposed to. Playing along and being good allows for you to be taken as a cute little pet that might be too frightened to try anything. Maybe other kidnappers are different.

You looked at Phinks from when he was leaning back in the folding chair balancing on its back legs. He was large, so much strength loomed over him, making him seem like the biggest in the room. Some damn part of him made you both think he was some jockey asshole like in movies and tv, or some large warm hearted man, though the latter seemed like a stretch.

“You’re starring again.”

“I’m thinking.”

“About?”

You gathered up the sketchbook you had ripped a handful of pages out of. You should lie. Shalnark said something like “he wasn’t perceptive” right? What if you were wrong? What about telling the truth? Would he kill you in anger? Slam you into the wall? Be the manifestation of the shadows from the covered half of the basement that had been driving you crazy, pulling you back and deep down into its maw, screaming as you die from-

“Just say it, I’m in a good mood, I don’t want it ruined with some anxiety attack because you’re scared to say someth-.”

“I don’t know how to feel.” You didn’t turn back to him as you walked towards the stairs, stopping at its feet, so he knew you weren’t trying to run away. “I don’t want to upset you or the others and risk dying or something arguably worse. I feel like everything has to be said correctly or not at all so I don’t find out someone is secretly more delusional than a damn LSD trip.”

You heard the chair squeak a bit as he stood up and walked towards the stairs, he didn’t stop like you and slowly started climbing them, slowly so you could continue.

“I should be scared, angry, maybe I should try to kill someone, or myself, try to escape? I don’t know, I can’t do any of those. I don’t want to, I hate how nice my room was, there was so much thought, so much detail, it felt so real, so close to my messy room. It creeps me out, enjoying the food, the room, the clothes, even the personal products make me feel like I graduated from a top academy with no debt and no depression.”

You lead him down the hall towards the living room. “I haven’t even looked outside you know, somehow I feel like it’ll make or break the dream. I think it might make me try something stupid, make me snap or something. I want to feel okay but I don’t, and when I don’t want to feel okay I do!” You ripped the curtain open, startling yourself.

“Did the window change anything?”

Woods. Beautiful moss covered trees that stretched far. The fire kissed trees rained down their leaves and it looked gorgeous. It reminded you of that date with the cats, the betrayal, of this fuck up of yours. It was something akin to heaven in your eyes, a perfectly twisted picture.

“I miss home.” You said finally tears slipping through your horribly masked emotions. You turned from the window stepping away from its bright light and into your dark room. You didn’t close the door fully behind you, it was very easy to look through the gap.

The blankets were smooth but when you burrowed into them to avoid everything, they felt fluffy against your skin. Even as your breath filled the underneath of them with hot air that felt suffocating, you accepted it with open arms. Stale warm air was unpleasant but it felt like the first warmth you’d felt in eons. The world outside this nest was cold and cruel, and you felt chained to the bed the more you thought about it.

The room's gentle darkness left you thinking as you tossed and turned. You fought back sobs but didn’t care about the tears that leaked down your face. Your sweetest boy laid next to you, his paw resting atop your hand as you faced him and the wall. You longed for the comfort of your real bed, sitting on the small balcony with your cat as he stared wide eyed at the birds.

Maybe you could have avoided this. Maybe if you had kept to yourself, avoided people like you had grown accustomed too, you could have continued your life. It didn’t change the fact that you were here now, but you were haunted by it. Those dark eyes at the damn exhibit. Why did it have to happen? Were you a fool? Were there any signs that you could have noticed? No matter how much crying you did or didn’t do you hated every second you were left to think about anything. Each damn second made you manic, and every other one made you depressed and unable to move. You felt so nauseous that soon you just vomited and sat on the bathroom floor headhung as you finally sobbed.

It was loud and obnoxious, you were lucky only one other person was home. It bounced off the walls. Phinks could definitely hear you. It was the kind of sob that was scratchy and full of angry screams, perfect for a tantrum that would destroy everything in a close area. You felt like a toddler who had been told no when asking for candy, a brat who wanted something. It felt like you were the problem even if you were just a victim of your surroundings. Yet you screamed and cried until your throat was sore, until it felt like it could have been bleeding, and you choked on the bubbling sobs as snot filled every airway.

You laid in a puddle of yourself, not moving when the front door opened and slammed shut. Unblinking as keys jingled down the hall with heavy footsteps. Looking with tired weak eyes, up at Phinks who stood, with plastic bags in hand, his face red and his eyes looking at the wall instead of you.

“It’s late, Fei and Shal want you to have a routine but they're not here… come stay up late and watch a movie or something? Shal bought some of your favorites and ones you’ve talked about! I have some chocolate, or popcorn if you’d like? I’m not sure what you all like when it comes to movie snacks…”

Your voice was so scratchy it hurt to hear you speak. “Please…” you whined as he helped pull you up and onto the living room couch.

He handed you the bags, a multipack of tissue boxes, an assortment of chocolate, popcorn, beer, teas, sodas, chips... You dug through it all and he returned with blankets in hand and a stuffed animal he knew you were attached to, that they all knew you were attached to.

He sat next to you, draping the blankets over you. He pulled a box of tissues out handing one to you. “Use the bag as a garbage bag for now.” He laid out everything haphazardly. He gently pulled your head down onto his lap and pressed the remote into your hand.

The blue glow of the tv puts you to sleep soon enough. It didn’t matter if it was one movie or ten, you were asleep, as soon as you were Phinks was too. You used his lap as a pillow, and Phinks leaned back, his head tossed over the couch’s back, his mouth hung open with a light snore as the tv eventually turned itself off.

In the morning you woke up when the keys turned to open the door’s lock. It made you jolt awake as the door was pushed open. Shalnark was clicking through his phone as he carried in a handful of something.

“Oh, you’re both up? How was the movie night?”

You sunk into the blankets giving back into your exhaustion. “Okay.”

You said it mostly to avoid any upset feelings on his end, the movie night was a nice way to avoid it all. You hated it considering everything, but those few hours of just zoning out at the tv and falling asleep to your favorite movies made you fell like home. You could imagine it so vividly it is what lulled you to sleep, the house didn’t have that smell of the three men, it was your home filled with cat fur, paints, and gesso.

You could feel the canvas frame from when you had to custom build one for a commission. Having to stretch it yourself, and you struggled to pull it back enough for it to hold well. The frame was obnoxiously large, you couldn’t fathom how they had the money to commission it or why they’d need one this size. That one had become a secret favorite, it was in someone’s private collection, an anonymous commissioner. You remember them sending someone to pick it up, which was strange, but if someone had that money how weird could it really be?

“Fei will be appearing soon, he has to drag something down to his office.” Shal giggled to himself speaking without catching his breath. “He’s surprisingly very interested in the work he brought back. It’s like a cat that got a hold of a mouse and doesn’t want to let it go.”

He set his envelope of papers down on the table, and sat down next to you on the couch. He was in front of you really, your back pressed firm against the couch nearly sinking into the cushions and the framework. Shalnark was turned slightly so he could face you and Phinks easily, his knees pressed against the front of the couch and one of Phinks’ knees. He breathed in deeply, his breath pushing both his stomach and chest out, he sort of chuckled as he sighed and leaned over to rest his head on the sofa’s back next to Phinks’ shoulder.

“I missed being home.”

Phinks and you didn’t say anything in response. Maybe Phinks secretly hated Shalnark, well, obviously not, but his silence kind of confused you. He cared deeply about the two from what you could tell, but who's to say you were ever good at reading the room. Your view upwards was obstructed by Shalnark hovering-leaning over you. Phinks moved his arm, you could see its shadow crossover you briefly, but you didn’t see what he did. Shalnark sat there resting with the two of you, this serene glazed look to him. He looked so pleasant, his hair hanging in his face, and his eyes closed.

He did eventually move, while he seemed content that was in no way comfortable to sit there for long. Shal eventually collected his things and ran off to go put them away. You gathered up the mess from the night before. Phinks took the trash out, you saw the cement steps out front as the door opened, and cool air rushed in to kiss your cheeks. The cat with wide eyes watched him complete his chores from the window, while you avoided looking at them. It was easier to stay busy with wiping the table and stacking the coasters in a neat pile in the center.

You kept wiping the table. Slow circular motions as you dazed off. The window just hurt you. Its clear glass was a mirror of your betrayal and gentle suffering, every damn time you saw that view it reminded you of the damned date. That date would remind you of his hands in your hair as you sobbed into his lap. What kind of suffering is this all? To be cursed with the inability to act, but blessed with a comfort of home and kindness. though it came from triplet tyrants. What tragedy had you fallen out of?

You went about giving yourself chores, dusting the shelves and tv stand, sweeping the kitchen floor, making a few pancakes with a box mix you had found, then cleaning up the mess you had made. Your hour or two of small chores only could keep you distracted for so long. You could hear Shalnark from his room, typing away on a keyboard and flipping through papers. When you walked past the basement you could hear things being moved around. It was faint and muffled, almost like you were hearing things, you wanted to go down there, the curiosity haunting you, but I’d anyone scared you the most it was Fetain.

You pushed open Phinks’ door. He had looked up at you as you did, but he didn’t say a thing, just motioned for you to come in. It was simple, navy sheets that were wrinkled, a strange mixture of pillows that didn’t have matching cases. There were some clothes lying around the room and the closet was open. He had a simple fold up chair in the corner and some green running jacket thrown across it. He didn’t have curtains, just the plastic blinds though some were bent and damaged. The closest thing to decoration was a digital clock on a wooden stool made bedside table and high quality at home gym equipment on the floor and tucked away into the closet.

“Need something?”

“I’ve never seen your rooms.” You half ignored the question, “and I don’t want to work on my painting when Fetain is working.”

He hummed, and you sat down on his bed looking at his window with the blinds pulled shut. “I hate it,” you said quietly to yourself, not knowing fully what you meant. “I might drive myself crazy. I keep trying to make things make sense, but I don’t get it.” You flopped down and rolled over, you didn’t look up at his face, didn’t acknowledge if he was looking at you or listening. “I think I’m ignoring half of everything to try and pretend that I’m okay.”

His hand rested on your head, his fingers playing with your hair. “You’re putting up with it well, though coming from me that doesn’t mean much.”

You grabbed his hand and his shirt. Pulling yourself up, straddling his waist. “Why couldn’t you have killed me? Torture me? Why not just make my life a real living hell? I feel like I’m burning but there’s nothing there, I keep thinking I’m drowning but I’m not!” Your hand trailed up to his neck, your nails pressing into his jugular, as you pinned him down to the bed. He laid there with his eyes wide but he didn’t move. “Please give me a good reason to hate it here! Please, I can't understand what’s going on! I didn’t ask for this. I don't know what I’m here for!” you screamed at him, though it wasn’t loud, just desperate. “I can’t do anything.”

His hand grabbed your hip and his other grabbed your neck, and he flipped the roles so he was hunched over you. His nails pressed into your skin. There was no weight to the threat. His hands while touching you, felt like they were hovering.

“You’re allowed to be angry, you don’t need permission for it.” And his hands were lifted away. and he was back on his side of the bed laying just like he was earlier, as if you never disrupted him.

Then you cried, you laid there curled up in a ball next to him. He never touched you, until you reached out and touched him, pulling yourself into his arms. He held you then gently and quietly until you relaxed and laid there half asleep and exhausted. His hands cupped your cheeks and you were held close to his face, his mouth a meare inch from your nose.

“I’ll do anything for you, even if you don’t like us or being here. We will do anything to keep you safe. I’ll make you as happy as I can, I swear to you I will.”

You heard Fetain come up from the basement when the door slammed shut. He was lighter than air with his footsteps so when he walked into Phinks’ room and ended up next to the bed you nearly screamed. “Try to sleep at ten and wake up at six. You need good sleep routine.”

You nodded, Phinks had mentioned it right? Ten to six seemed reasonable. “Exactly 6 am?”

“Roughly. Take time to change, one week to do yourself.”

“I’ll try to do it.” You nodded and a yawn slipped from your lips.

“Take nap, us three will talk work.” He waited for Phinks to get up.

Phinks patted your shoulder, “stay here and sleep for a bit we don’t want you dealing with our work stuff yet.”

“Okay.”

But Feitain hovered for a second longer than he needed to, just quietly looking at you with this deep thoughtful look in his eyes, yet he left without saying anything.

They had a habit of leaving you alone with your thoughts. Thankfully your cat at least sits with you when you need it, most of the time.

There was nothing to do with them all being busy. Something told you not to poke around for answers about what they were discussing. Even though you weren’t gonna search around for answers your mind wandered. It was a gross wandering similar to how one could lay in bed and gaze up into the darkness and just sit there. Rambling and turning whispers in your thoughts flashing images of blood gore and violence. How could anyone imagine what their jobs could be? You were used to surrounding yourself with images of oozing guts, but just beccause you had been decentized to it didn’t mean that fucking kidnappers who seemed more than used to living isolated was something you could handle.

You ran your hand back from the cat’s nose to his ears. He pressed himself so firmly against your hand that his eyelids were slightly pulled back as he demanded all of your attention. You could feel him breathing on you, his soft purrs are loud as he clung to you. When the fur around his face is pushed back his whole meringue look changes to one of a rat. His eyes while blown wide into dark saucers continue to look up at you fondly, his fur looks like a front facing bald eagle. There’s a reason you hardly ever see those angles, it’s less flattering. There’s less pride and a slicked back edge that is perceived as coolness. This is what that sweet cat looked like from this angle, his poofy roundness disappeared and strange looking from the front, while you never truly have looked too explore the other angles of the strange hair-do, the adorably crafted ugliness makes you melt into him as he melts into you.

As you lay there thoughts bubbling up worries and anxiety scratching away at your insides, this sweet fluff keeps you grounded. As was his task, he was an unofficial emotional support cat, nothing more than a pet that kept you mentally stable and provided both a comfort and reason to live. It was easy on the days where the paints seemed poisoned to be unable to reason and find out why you were alive. You wondered if everyone questioned this at times perhaps that’s why your artwork seemed so desperate, why you just cling to an intestine rope to pull you closer to answers and people who relate. It’s not something you can say for sure but even now, after a few years of this cat he kept you perfectly content to question but not give up.

He was also a good muse, posing in ways during his naps. Belly up, his head laid back against a pillow, his front paws folded under his chin but his back legs sticking upwards like two towers, fluffy and off white. He laid his ways that made it hard to determine if he was a cat or strang fluffy void, even though lots of cats did that. No matter how many photos and squeals you let out, it never felt the same, there simply isn't a connection. No photo could replace your cat, because you knew just about everything about him.

Sometimes you wondered if you relied too much on the cat, you’d question if the kidnappers thought the same if you weren’t so preoccupied with anything else. Even in captivity it seemed like you never had time for anything. All your plans would get mixed up or you would get horribly distracted. You acted as if you were wandering naked in a dark maze with how time snuck up on you. With no one to truly tell you otherwise you gave into it when you could, which was most of the time. Hours would be spent gazing off into walls and corners as you painted in your own head, it didn’t matter if you pictured it or not, it was the mental motions of the act that kept you entranced.

A jiggle of a brush, a whirlpool of the paint thinner. Hell the actions are what lured you down into the basement again. You hadn’t been told to stay, hadn't been told not to. You may not have paid attention to the home as you were pulled down to the basement by your navel; the living was quiet though the three men hummed and buzzed with a quiet conversation. You continued onto the door opening it so gently and silently you might have well just phased through the door to begin with. The unfinished steps hadn’t groaned or creaked as you stepped on them even though they should. The door hovered open, the light peering and stealing across the floor to the hall now behind you. As a moth would you step down and forwards moving towards your painting.

At this moment your eyes flashed with one lucid thought, “something isn’t right.” It didn't take a genius to know this but somehow as you were drugged by your own relaxation and you had taken the liberty to forget about everything that had been a bright neon sign telling you something was amiss. You looked away from your studio and across the room at another’s.

It’s important to note that some people have a personal belief that art is in the eye of the beholder, regardless of whether each piece usually has an original meaning in the grand scheme of things. You had thoughts and ideas, messages and stories to tell through your paintings. Each a commentary on something since you didn’t believe in unthoughtful gore and brutality, that wasn’t to say it had no meaning, but that there wasn’t a personal thought being expressed even deep below the surface. In this belief of art interpretation all art has at least two meanings, the artist’s original suffering inquiry, and the viewer’s lack of understanding. With this in mind the scene behind the curtain is much different then one in your studio.

The curtain had always been a temptation, that’s a simple fact of the matter. Place a marshmallow in front of a child and most struggle to resist even with the promise of more. This curtain in your case was so much more than temptation. A temptation is often pictured as sweet and sugary, lustful even, not a need but a want. This curtain was so much more than that, it was thorn covered and speckled with a lifetime of warnings but it wasn’t sweet, there was no guarantee of safety but an expectation of more. Even then you peeled it back.

It was more than a treasure trove of goodies, it was a threatening pile of one. The lights were on and you were slammed into with information as you peared across it all, for instance the room was large, much larger than you thought it was. While most of it was still unfinished further back against the far wall was a much more finished section. That is what you noticed second but you just were too in shock to register the first yet. The furthest wall was finished, a simple gray paint and from it hung old custom paintings, things both long forgotten and new. They were strange to see though in comparison to your room when you had first woken up nothing crazy. The first thing you noticed was crazier, though not too surprising.

The wall was lined with a board, hanging from it an assortment of household tools and even more specialty ones. Mostly pliers, wrenches, screwdrivers of all sorts of sizes. There were spools of wire, rope, and bolt cutters. There were more too, there were tweezers, the heavy duty kind, expensive looking, stainless steel and with a rubber grip. Each item while normally not threatening was fucking horrifying. The blindfolded and gagged half-dead looking man would ultimately agree if he saw the line up. Yet the detail of the organization, to the bindings, and yes even the table he was on, made it look like a perfectly created scene. To Feitain, who you half-confidently assumed was the resident torturer, this must be something artistic or even religious, sometimes the two came hand in hand.

His hair was glued by brown dried blood, his nose broken, the bruising covering his cheeks and eyes from what you could tell from afar. There was no way for him to escape from his binds, strapped down to the table. The table itself looked to be something akin to an embalming table, slightly slanted towards a floor drain, some blood already leaking down from the man and dried against the table’s cold smudged metal. He had bruises down his arms and legs dark purple and splotchy. His ankle looked painfully enlarged, not enough to be a break but horribly sprained.

You should have screamed in horror, your heartbeat sped up like crazy after all. There was enough adrenaline that maybe you could have killed a person, not your captors from the look and attitude of them. If a captor can be so unconcerned like they were either they were morons or knew full well that they had perfect complete control. From a second kidnapped person being in the basement looking like a corpse it’s easy to decide which.

Looking on even in your shocked state you made your third discovery. There were bulkhead doors. A small flight of stairs led up to them. In your shock you continued to move like a ghost, even though your chest was pounding. It rumbled in your gut, twisted and stabbed at your lungs, and you looked upwards at it, upwards into the dark steps a small crack of light. Your cat in all his loving sweetness rubbed up against your leg, mewling softly. You walked forwards reaching upward towards the door, climbing the stairs and gently pressing to see if they’d open, to your surprise it did.

[saysike-skedoodles]

PUSH_UR_T3MPRR

[BTW- if you're an account that does NSFW/ Fetish content, I kindly ask for you to not interact with my work. Please don't take this the wrong way, I respect your interests, but I'm uncomfortable with that content and wish to not engage with it :] ]

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SILLY ART!! I was playing some Beat Saber yesterday and was listening to some Femtanyl when I thought of this pose for Silly! This art obviously was inspired from the song "PUSH UR T3MPRR" by Femtanyl. Very good music imo, it has Silly vibes to me. This may be a surprise to most, but I actually REALLY enjoy anatomy, I love drawing it, it's very fun. Which is why I wanna do more full body drawings! You may have noticed that I've been doing a lot more different stuff with camera zooms, full body drawings and all that. And I'm finding the whole process to be A LOT more fun than I expected! I'm surprised at that, but also relieved that it's not as bad as I expected. I'm still struggling when it comes to posing arms. But I think this artwork threw me out of that comfort zone and got me to draw a pose that I don't think 2022 me would even DREAM of drawing- and that says a lot cuz I think I found myself falling into a comfort zone and I sorta stopped experimenting with posing. BUT THAT CHANGES. I'M PUSHING THE LIMITS OF MY ARTSTYLE CUZ WHY NOT.

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Anyways, back to Silly. I felt like giving her a belt with belt loops for this drawing since I think they'd look cool on her :]. Don't worry, this isn't a design change, just an alternative option for clothing in a sense. I also thought it would fit the vibe of this drawing. That being a sorta Too Many Misadventures video game. I have already dabbled in the idea of a TMM video game in the past and felt like doing it again here. It made me think of this being a character select screen for a level. I can also see Silly's levels being the most chaotic/difficult. It's no surprise really, since this is Silly we're talking about, and she's a pretty chaotic coyote, so it makes sense her levels would be face paced, fun, but also difficult. Also I think I should bring up the knife she has, it was also seen on the art 'Silly's FUN Adventure HD". I know it seemed like something I shouldn't have hidden, but I did, mainly cuz I couldn't think of a design. But this is their way to get to different realms! It's a knife capable of cutting a thin line in the air that can open a portal up to different realms. I gave it a little design update too. So don't think Silly owns multiple, she only has one. And lemme tell ya, she protects that item with her LIFE. If that ends up lost or stolen. It's the end of the world for Bex, Silly and Stacy. (not literally the end of the world, but they wouldn't be able to return home and such if you get me)

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Might aswell also share a fun fact about Silly; she's afraid of ghosts! Mainly spirits that would possess an object like a doll. That's thanks to her watching something like Annabelle in the early hours of the morning. 10/10 thinking Silly, just as good as the times realm adventures goes wrong and she DEFINITELY had a Plan B thought up of.

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Youtube

TMM Official Tumblr

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[all content I post is automatically 13+ if not stated in the title or the content itself]

[fumifooms]

Hi! I really love your Chilchuck analysis and headcanons. Are there any songs that remind you of him/think suits his character?

😏Why yes indeed I do! I have a couple playlists for him, not one for just him quite yet, but there are still songs that are more about him than the relationship/them in every playlist bc that’s just how playlists are with me, I have this one about him & his wife, (songs aren’t ordered) this marchil one, (ony partially with a song order) this marchil angst one… (believe it or not the songs are fully ordered except the last few songs) And this one I actually haven’t shared yet but just bc of the whole ~working class ethnicity~ thing I see a lot of my culture in Chil/half-foots so have a french canadian Quebecer Chilchuck playlist but uh yeah the songs are all in french, it’s mostly folk. If I worked any faster and better I’d love to make some animatics with some of these… I still got some plans though. So far my favorite Chilchuck playlist not by me that’s underrated banger after banger and each reallt fits is one by my buddy @lyril ! It’s short and sweet, prob with more of the character focus that you’re looking for. Little Lion Man oh my god 😭😭

These playlists are for trudging through lists of songs and finding the good bits & meaning in them yourself buuut I have picked out a bunch of specific lyrics and songs I really like for him in this post before, and not unlike that, I have a couple web weavings with song lyrics for him, one on Chilchuck & wife and a marchil one, and again if you’re not interested in the relationships there are still stuff in there that fit him specifically so I still recommend skimming.

Jackrabbit by San Fermin, Dead Inside by Younger Hunger, TrusT by Half-alive, Cheap Liquor by Ericdoa, Heart-shaped Box by Nirvana... Some songs that come to mind for him rn. TrusT is one of my top songs for him I looove it and I think the music does enhance the lyrics it’s soo…

Trust is like a pond of murky water Too dark to see, mysteriously undercover I can't jump off the high dive, even though I really want to My toes are hanging off the ledge Trust is like the middle of the ocean Can't see the bottom, but I'm floating here, supported I know that it can take me even deeper if I let it But my limbs are trying to swim away It's like a tree that towers 50 feet above us Grown over time through many seasons Believing in something more than just the surface I trust that this is worth it But my toes are hanging off the ledge Hold to this significance And lean into the process Rest and know the love you hold It won't be taken back, no I have faith that the world I'm in Will be redeemed to its place again But there's a weight that I can't explain So tell me why I feel this way tell me why I feel this way (Speaking slowly when I'm out of breath) (Losing confidence between the steps) tell me why I feel this way how sweet, the taste of certainty (Wasting water in a desert bed) (Chasing wind outside the promised land) releasing hope to carry me (Know the story isn't over yet)

Anyone who knows me knows my favorite Chil & Chilwife song is Little Soldiers by The Crane Wives. And well, there’s a reason Hurry Hurry is on almost every Chil playlist. Drunk by The Living Tombstone is a staple for me too. And oughh I recommend this animatic of Well it’s better than the alternative it’s so 😭 10/10 please please watch

Ohh and one of my fav Chil fanart ever is this one if you scroll all the way down and the song that goes with it is Call Boy by Syudou. It’s the only place where you can see it rn sorry, this ask is incredibly timed actually bc just yesterday I went looking for this fanart again and saw that the artist’s twitter got deleted and there’s still the art on Pixiv but there used to be a video and that’s the one that truly fully git my heart </3 I dmed the artist asking on if the video is still up anywhere so crossing my fingers about when/if I get a reply… Here’s the lyrics for Call Boy, give it a listen it gets me keeling over to the floor. CW alcoholism and also gotta scroll through suggestive stuff bc the art link is Pixiv 🎶

[kenthenugget]

My Response to Watcher's Apology

Yesterday, Watcher released an apology video regarding their decision to move all their content to a new streaming service which most people cant afford even at 6 dollars a month. And personally speaking, I was pretty satisfied with it. I couldnt see them scrapping the streaming service idea entirely because its definetly too late in the game to do that, but they comprise on certian, like having episodes come out on Watcher the service, releasing onto Youtube much later, and having Patreon backers use the service for free (which I didnt know was not a thing for Patreon backers initially which is kind of alarming). I'd say overall, they did a good job with their apology. At least in my opinion. Im pretty sure others might look at it differently or maybe Im probably for forgiving people for who do bad things and thus more likely to be at the receiving end of a toxic friendship/relationship in the future......

I will say though, this whole situation has made going to back their old content (from Watcher and Buzzfeed) a lot more awkward. Its one of those things where a creator you like does something bad and watching content made before they did the bad thing wrong, and you cant separate the art from the artist because you liked their content for them mostly. Its kind of like when I rewatched old Achievement Hunter stuff right when the Ryan Haywood drama happened. Granted, what Watcher did was far tamer than that scenario. But its still bad, and portrays the guys in a negative light. Some people I've seen who've covered this, from Sensative Society to Jacksfilms (who released a parody of their apology literally within a couple of hours of the upload which I wont ever find not funny) have portrayed them as greedy for this move, and as someone who could view this from the perspective of an outsider, I can understand that. But like I had mentioned in my original post, I sympathized with why they felt like Youtube wasnt for them, but (like I said) this was the worst solution to that quandary they could've made. Speaking of commentators, I've also been avoiding that type of content just because how negatively effected by this whole drama. The fact this happened right around the time I was on a Buzzfeed Unsolved binge didn't help. This whole thing has made me so upset that I've just been avoiding sort of content revolving Watcher or Buzzfeed Unsolved period. I dont really know what else to say here, this whole thing sucks and I wish it never happened.

However, I think this is a feeling that will change, as time goes by and people move on from this drama. I think that Watcher will be able to bounce after this whole thing dies down, especially because this is not as bad as Ryan Bergara diddling a kid or Shane Madej........idk awakening into his demon form or something. But, I think this will be something that will haunt them going forward pretty much since the bad things you do online will stay online......forever

[strwbmei]

hey mei, what are your top 10 favourite video games?

1. Legend of Zelda : Breath of the Wild - Loved everything about it!! The graphics are stunning, the gameplay is amazing, and the story is easy to understand without playing the other games. I have Tears of the Kingdom, but for some reason, I prefer BOTW much more. Also, the soundtrack is absolutely amazing beyond words!! The one that plays whenever a Ruin Guardian spots you sort of gave me PTSD. Whenever I hear it, I can't help but look towards the source of the sound, get up, and run for my life.

2. Ghost of Tsushima - Everything about this game is a 10/10, but I really liked the combat in particular! There are so many ways you can kill someone, from silently assassinating them to poisoning them to beheading them. Even after the main story, there are still so many side quests and content that are just as fun. Jin Sakai is also very cool and I love how he abandoned his honor as a samurai to protect the people.

3. Eastward - Definitely a must-play if you have a Nintendo Switch. The graphics are unique and colorful yet also somewhat mellow at times. The music is great. All of the characters are so fleshed out and lovable. Not to mention the amount of content in the game, where you have at least one other game inside of it. There's the Earthbound(?) (I forgot what it was called) game inside of the arcades which I still haven't been able to finish to this day, and the Octopia DLC (Really cheap by the way, it was 20$ last time I checked) which is basically a whole other farming game.

4. Honkai Impact 3rd - Of course, HI3 is one of my favorite games. The gacha is very generous compared to other games, the rewards are really good, and the rest speaks for itself. Just the story alone would be enough to make it into my top 10. Story aside, I really love the characters and their designs. Their designs reflect their personality perfectly and all of them are just so lovable. Watching Kiana grow up so mature within only 2 years gives me such an odd feeling. I'm so proud of her, but at the same time, where has the "cheerful idiot" Kiana gone? It feels like only yesterday I was playing through the story and she refused to eat the meal Durandal gave her because there was no one to remove the bones of the fish like Mei usually did.

5. Stardew Valley - Call me basic, but I really fell in love with everything about this game. The music in particular makes me feel so oddly nostalgic. I also have a lot of good memories associated with it. It's one of those games that I play on and off but always end up enjoying no matter what, especially with the use of modding.

6. Dead Cells - Loved it! The combat is so fluid, the monsters are all so unique, the animations are so smooth for a pixel art game, and everything about the gameplay is so enjoyable. I'm a sucker for these types of games, honestly. I sadly haven't had the time to play it for a while now, though...

7. Subnautica - I'm not sure if this counts because even though I have a copy of the game, I've made almost zero progress on it. This is mostly only on my list because I'm a really big fan of sea exploration stuff. I was also particularly obsessed with the idea of making the Cyclops fully self sufficient.

8. Minecraft - I had such a big Minecraft phase back then. I would wear merch to school and sing those parodies thinking I was so cool. No wonder I didn't have any friends during that period of my life. Still, I actually wasn't able to buy the game until like... 2018. I think this would be higher on the list if I had people to play it with and if I could recover my account for it.

9. Animal Crossing : New Horizons - I was obsessed with it during the pandemic, but nowadays I play it on and off. As much as I like the older games, being able to freely place furniture outside is life changing. It's also way easier to change outfits because you can actually see what you're wearing. Not to mention, the graphics are way cuter.

10. Osu! - I got into it because a guy I liked did and ended up becoming better than him. I mostly.played standard, but mania was also fun from time to time. I was ranked at around 4 digits before I had to stop because people were complaining that my keyboard was being way too loud. I just didn't have the money to get a new one at the time, so I ended up deleting the game. Really fun, though! There's a mode for everyone.

[billiejean485]

Okay - a long rant ahead and some explanations.

I would also like to point out that what I'm about to talk about mostly concerns the Christian community and it may not be interesting to anyone else or would just lead to pointless arguments that I don't want to be a part of, so - read at your own discretion after the explanations.

EXPLANATION

Yes, you have probably all noticed that I haven't completely stopped indulging in Miraculous stuff, especially after this post, and the reason is - I am simply enjoying (or have been doing so up till now) the concepts, the fan art and the never used possibilities and lost potential of the show and its characters. Which leads me directly to the second part of this post.

TO THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY WITHIN MIRACULOUS LADYBUG FANDOM

Yesterday, I gave this vid a watch and discovered something I wished I knew from day one of this show.

Among all the good points, something really struck me, and it was this:

.... Look.

I know Thomas Astruc is an atheist (or however he defines himself) and that he's a very anti-religious person - but this is downright offensive.

So, what I wanted to bring to attention.... was that this show really isn't just some goofy fantasy x sci-fi mix that doesn't delve into religion or myths - but that that is far from the truth.

Miraculous goes directly into everything and reshapes it to the viewing pleasure of people who have no religious beliefs whatsoever and are, like it's creator, of a mindset that it's all just nonsense, thus disrespecting culture and faith of humongous groups of religious communities.

As an (Orthodox) Christian, I can't talk much about people of other faith, though I know there were also big problems with the Muslim communities. Because of that, I am just going to stick to what I'm capable of concluding.

... You know, we all have the right to believe whatever we want to believe in. If atheistic people don't want to believe in anything, that's their choice. But spitting in the face of absolutely everyone who is of different opinion, especially through a worldwide known show (and directed at kids, to make matters worse) is definitely not alright. We have the right to choose our faith as much as any other individual and absolutely no one should be allowed to say that we should keep to ourselves as some kind of 'minority' and let the 'majority' take over, because they're right since there's a bigger number of them.

Speaking up about something negative within a certain religious community that affects everyone is one thing - telling them to shut up altogether is another.

If you think I am blowing things out of proportion with this.... do a little research on Astruc's X (formerly Twitter). I kid you not when I tell you that I have practically quoted him in the last line of the paragraph above my previous one. Amanda does the same in her video as well.

But what am I really getting at here with this post?

I wanted to send out a warning to fellow Christians that are watching the show and to boost up the awareness to this problem.

Literally... all the problems I've been having with the show for the past two years come down to this. The way the characters are treated, the direction the show is taking... everything. If I had known about the creators' opinions on this topic I would have seen disappointment a mile away, and it never would have affected me as bad as it did.

I stopped drawing for a whole year for crying out loud! And I've seen during that period that many people are absolutely unaware of what is lurking behind the curtains. The show is meant to take you to a certain point of viewing the world the way its creators believe are right, and it's not going to stop doing that anytime soon. What's more, I believe (and I am talking from experience here, from other disappointments in my past) that things are only going to get worse.

The Love Square is bait. The prolonged plot is there to keep the viewers interested. Heck, Astruc confirmed that publicly - it's needed to exist in order to keep the show successful and running. He thinks he's doing a good job at it, and, to be fair - business-wise, he is. That doesn't speak about the quality of the story though. But that's another topic I'm not going to bring up here...

I just wanted to give a heads-up to peeps, who do have an incorporated belief system in their lives, to not get swindled. It's not innocent fun, and that's going to get more obvious as time passes and the creators get more freedom to express their opinions.

I'm sorry if you've invested yourselves in this show as much as I have. I truly believed there wasn't another system directed against religion somewhere in its shadows and that it was a safe watch - however, it isn't. If you do have a life dedicated to something this show is against, all I can tell you is - re-evaluate what you're watching here.

For all the rest of you.... I suppose I have nothing to say. If you read all the way up to here and still disagree with me... well, feel free to do it. But I have no discussion to be made with you.

[iantimony]

tuesday yet we persevere

what a week lads

listening up to partizan 18. the exchange of jack: "is inertia when you're stopping or going?" austin, very confidently: "it's when you're going" had me shouting NO at my phone, thank god art chimed in to clarify and actually define inertia. i love you art. been listening to a lot of breaking benjamin while i marathon-focus on trying to finish my poster by. tonight. yeouch.

reading fallow

playing pokego! it's become my fun little morning activity while i lay in bed waking up. like. ok i need to be awake. i will drowsily catch the 3 pokemon that spawn around me and spin the pokestop across the street. ok time to get out of bed i guess.

watching hbomberguy new four hour video reigns supreme. i've had it on periodically while i do chores, cook, etc.

making pottery! basically everything came out of the kiln at once! some finished objects:

the mugs (more like teacups, really, shrinkage strikes again) came out cute, despite the orange one getting a crack in the handle. i really love the way the white bowl came out with the koi, i'd put lillypads inside but they really didn't show up at all so i didn't bother photographing. that little black vase was done with a dark blue glaze that came out. black. so i probably did too many layers, plus it was on red clay, so oops. the little ramekins came out cute, i tried one of the stoneware glazes on the left one and it came out really matte which surprised me, but otherwise some standard lil bowls! and finally i hate the striped object behind the ramekins. i forgot to cover it up after making it and didn't get to trim it before it was bone dry so i just had to let it be was it was so it's really bottom-heavy. and i hate the way the glazed stripes came out. such is life. my roommate likes it so i might give it to her LOL.

dragon mug underglaze came out interesting!!! i used two different brands of underglaze and one of them came out. shiny?? so putting clear normal glaze over that texture proved a real challenge, especially for the handle. i used another underglaze (a chocolate brown, same as the one on the handle on the right) to fill in the background/inside/some linework details, then covered the whole thing in clear, so we'll see how that turns out! the little tree teacup i just covered in clear and put back on the kiln rack, i didn't want to add anything else to it, it came out sooo cute :)

did more underglaze stuff on two bowls, eye motif!!! one as a scratched out and one as painted on. excited to see how they go for the first firing. i had some Big bowls to trim and they were still a little wet but i was like eh i bet i can. i could not. look how i've massacred my boy (bottom left). it totally spun off the wheel but thankfully it's still soft enough that i was able to just sorta nudge it back into a circular shape. i did ragequit trimming for that day because of it though and did the eye underglaze work instead hahahah. hopefully will be able to trim them on wednesday! it's just so dang cold in the area where the pottery is stored to dry out so it takes forever in the winter.

finally, i finished the winter headband for my roommate's mom last night! image is not the finished one, i forgot to take a picture yesterday but i'll just do that after i block it later this week. i took the photo a few days ago because i actually made a mistake in the pattern and was trying to judge how obvious it was and whether or not to go back 10 rows and redo it. i don't think it's that obvious so i decided to keep going. can you spot the mistake :b

misc oughhh aughgghghgh academic poster. my advisor was really difficult to communicate with yesterday but made up for it this morning. her husband stressed me out for no reason but it's fine. i think i can finish it before the poster session tomorrow but odds are in the air as to whether i can get it Printed before the poster session tomorrow. woof. and then i need to figure out what i'm wearing at this conference and pack by friday.

[leverage-ot3]

I was tagged by my buddy and old siren (freeform) mutual @imaginejolls for this ask game!

Star Sign(s): Sagittarius sun, Aquarius moon, Capricorn rising

Favorite Holidays: halloween :3

Last Meal: my mom's cajun beef stew with rice pilaf and a roll

Current Favorite Musician: I've been listening to a lot of noah kahan recently (vermont represent), but I also adore hozier, gracie abrams, lizzie mcalpine, phoebe bridgers, etc. I've never been the same since I was told my taste in music was yallternative. I also love lil nas x and found a new musician through tiktok that goes by brye that is really good

Last Music Listened To: the playlist I listen to the most, especially for sleep: immaculate fall vibes (technically the name of the playlist is just a bunch of the artists featured in it but the description is immaculate fall vibes). my most recent song was save me by noah kahan

Last Movie Watched: this is so embarrasing but I watched the meg with my dad yesterday lmao. I have a weakness for stupid monster movies (we used to watch the shittiest syfy movies together when I was in hs. the shittier the better). I thought he'd like it because jason statham but he was meh about it

Last TV Show Watched: last one I was invested in was the new episode of percy jackson, but I did watch a little bit of that polish show high water on netflix the other day which seemed interesting

Last Book/Fic Finished: god I actually haven't been reading fic for a hot minute which is really surprising. probably my reread of of the northmost winds and skies by @jjackfrost. wasn't in the crossover fandom until earlier this year but actually adore that pairing. this is now my comfort longfic (+400k). it's so good, I read it and I wasn't even in the fandom at the time and it was amazing!!! all the characters are written so well, the voices and pov are great, the worldbuilding and storyling is amazing! I've gushed in the comments before but ugh I love it so so much. inject this into my mf veins

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: I don't really abandon fics, I just wait for them to get updated again. as for books, I really tried to get into loveless by alice oseman because aroace rep but I couldn't really get into it :/

Currently Reading: nothing at the moment (not going to list all the fics I'm waiting for updates for because I can't remember them all and the ones I can remember would take up like multiple pages lol)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: ooo this is hard. technically speaking I've been hyperfixated on playing animal crossing so the most recent thing I looked up for that was what treasure islands were lmao

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: oooo I'm not sure actually? I really love having mutuals even if we don't talk. I also really enjoy when people engage with my posts and appreciate my tags and aus. I like sharing my thoughts and ideas with you guys and it's so heartwarming and validating when y'all enjoy it right back

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: I agree with jolly, I miss siren dearly. can they just do a leverage in like five years and retcon the last season? thanks

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: probably some of the kdramas I've watched. I adored the guest on netflix but there's no fandom. I really REALLY wanted some fix-it fics for the ending of my name but there weren't any because the fandom was too small :(

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: so many things that I jump between (the adhd of it all lmao). I really would like to make a leverage ot3: are they queer video essay and I have some stuff typed up BUT I work in the healthcare field and I'm really hesitant of putting myself on video because when you work in this field it can be weird if clients or employers find your channel. so that's technically on hold for privacy reasons rn. I also really want to learn how to sew and make clothes and my roommate has even offered to help (they used to do competitive cosplay) but I'm just very unmotivated. I want to get back into witchy things but don't have the mental energy to invest in that other than appreciating my stones

tagging 10 moots but anyone can play!!!: @leverageclips @all-things-breathing @digitaldiscipline @peachyteabuck @vampirewalterskinner @buzzmcnab @sidras-tak @my-beloved-lakes @kajaono @suddenrundown

[dustyratt]

15 questions for 15 mutuals ❤

I was tagged by @nell-le (thank you!! ❤❤)

1. Are you named after anyone? 

Not actually

2. When was the last time you cried?

I watched a Boston Dynamics video yesterday and swear I had tears in my eyes because of how advanced our technologies become with each passing day 🤧

3. Do you have kids?

No, I don't and don't plan them in the future

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? 

Yes but try hard not to do it in an excessively mean way 😅 I may not be polite sometimes which is a trait I'm working on right now

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Never played anything. Mostly because of a health issues

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Dressing preferences! Clothes do not have to be expensive or popular, it just needs to look stylish and organic combined together. The second thing would probably be how the person moves / stand / look at something. I'll get my first impression judging by their movements

7. Eye colour?

Dark brown 💅 Looks almost black most of the time

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies with worst possible outcomes! I've had enough happy endings in cinematography 🤧

9. Any special talents?  

At age of 12 I was making money by hacking a poorly secured online game. Not so special talent considering that all materials allowing me to use that hacking utility were in public but still. What else? My special talent is to scare everybody with thin pale skin and bulging blue-green veins all around my body 👁👁

10. Where were you born?

The very south outskirts of Russia

11. What are your hobbies?

Besides all computer - related stuff you know from my blog I also enjoy reading (mostly: biographical, ancient history, theology, anthropology, archaeology), draw creatures (since I have Photoshop it's in the past) cooking and visiting places of interest like abandoned (or just ancient) buildings, also libraries, museums and churches

12. Do you have any pets?

I've grown amongst domesticated birds - chickens and ducks (we didn't eat them, so they were way more like a real pets). Had two of them as a pets in childhood (raised in my room like a cat or something 😂) , one is still alive by the way despite how many years have passed

13. How tall are you?

Around 180 cm or 5,9 feet

14. Fave subject in school?

English, Art, Literature

15. Dream job? 

Idk? A game designer? A creature concept artist? A lighthouse keeper? A sailor? A scientist? A field archaeologist? A submarine / helicopter pilot? A bodyguard? A defense attorney? -Yes

If you haven't done this ask in your blog yet - this is an invitation! Whoever read this: go and write some about yourself! Tagging is welcomed but not necessary ❤