#and i’m concerned how they’re gonna lash out when they inevitably don’t get what they want lmao

[seddair]

,

[weebsinstash]

Ugh okay I’m not sure if this will really fit with ur ideas but whenever anyone brings up group yanderes I’m always drawn to a specific scenario: Reader, by some miracle, gets a significant other outside of the group that, again, by a miracle, they don’t know about (I’m thinking, in this scenario, Reader travels through universes often to hang out with different spiders, and in a universe they visit frequently, they sneak off and see someone whenever the local spider is doing their spider stuff). Said s/o breaks up with Reader and they’re obviously upset. The group starts freaking tf out because their darling’s upset and not telling anyone what’s wrong, while Reader’s going through a whole internal conflict because they know they’ll be in trouble if they tell the truth, but also they know their ex will be in MAD trouble, so they’re desperately trying to hide the whole situation, which only makes things worse as the group descended into chaos, knowing that their darling is hiding *something* and not telling anyone. The whole spiderverse is working together to manipulate you/figure out what’s going on. People like Jess, Pav, and Gwen try to approach you as sympathetic friends who you can vent your issues to, while characters like Miguel and Hobie are much more upfront in telling you to tell them what’s going on, not even asking. When the truth does inevitably get revealed, it’s hell on earth for both you and your ex. (Bonus; imagine if said ex actually hurt you in some way other than breaking up, like admitting to cheating or was generally cruel to you either during the relationship or just in the breakup. The fury of your captors would be biblical)

God and from their perspective some/most of it is justified because you're walking around SIGNIFICANTLY more depressed than before, you're starting to become more anxious and jumpy, and with some people you're outright lashing out in anger if they press you on the subject, so like, even if some of the Spiders are trying to invade your privacy or even manipulate you, from their side, there's no telling how serious this problem actually is, or if it's nothing to be concerned about (in the grand scheme of things, you having a fight with your partner isn't some world shattering event, but to THEM it's 'wait Reader's been dating? who???' And like virtually no matter who it is, if they're a Normie they aren't good enough by the Society/your group's standards. Although technically if dating could potentially interfere with any of your future canon events, well, then you have a particular spicy papi very upset with you...)

So like, I haven't seen all clips of Miguel's scenes and speaking lines yet but I've been spoiling myself to a little more (I aim to see spiderverse on the big screen this weekend so I was kinda leaving some to surprise, fucking hid all my wax and edibles, im gonna dry out for a few days and hit some dabs and see this shit in IMAX and itll rewire my fucking brain shits gonna be so good) but oh my god this man gets so fucking scary. He's just on his brooding platform already stressed as fuck which is a constant state he lives in at this point and here's Jess and Peter B as concerned parents to fill him in on their concerns, what they've seen from you: sudden increased self isolating, crying more, becoming more withdrawn and quiet, refusing to talk to them about it, trying to spend all your time alone. Miguel just, trying to tether the last pieces of his mental sanity together as he decides to go visit you personally, and he can immediately tell you're hiding something from all the darting glances to the fact you don't want to look him in the eyes.

Like can you imagine, I guess it depends on how you see Reader "going about", like do they have their own home universe or whatever, but, Miguel hasn't confronted you himself yet and he decides, fine, you want to keep secrets, good fucking luck, and all of his dimensional watches he's given out are probably connected to the same servers and systems so he just, looks up your travel log and quickly identifies that you've been visiting the same universe repeatedly, but none of your friends seem to know why you would be going there. Say you've been hanging around in Gwen's universe and Miguel assumes, oh maybe you're spending time with Gwen, maybe that emo little drummer said something to upset you, but Gwen looks confused (and a little upset) when it turns out you've been apparently popping in her universe without even saying hi? And Miguel is gritting his teeth because he's starting to form a theory on what's going on and he doesn't like it one fucking bit

He teams up with Jess and Peter B and Gwen and some of your other pals and he starts triangulating your bracelet and. Wow what the fuck you're in Gwen's dimension RIGHT NOW. So then they all race towards your location to watch from a distance, some real loony tunes, "all 6 or 7 of us are hiding behind the same tree" bullshit, and, there you are from a distance, out of costume as you're clearly very upset, talking to someone that, most of the Spiders recognize instantly minus characters like Pav and Jess and Miguel and there's this resounding GROAN OF DISGUST "oh god, NOT FLASH THOMPSON" (for Spiderman lore newbies this is literally the character that bullies the fuck out of Peter Parker in high school like literal actual shoving him into lockers shit)

Peni uses her mech to send out a listening device and everyone is comically gathered around as they eavesdrop and start getting progressively more furious as they start piecing things together: you HAD been there to visit Gwen initially, but somehow you met Flash out of costume and the jockey SOMEHOW managed to woo you, but the relationship quickly became manipulative and controlling until you eventually caught Flash with another person. They're all GRITTING THEIR TEETH as you're in tears, asking him what you did wrong, where did you mess up, and Flash basically tells you to your face, "you're nothing special, I got bored of you"

Your little groupie gang of platonic and romantic yandere WITH STEAM BLOWING OUT OF THEIR EARS as you whimper "but... you-you said you loved me! We SLEPT together!" And he just. Fucking laughs in your face, SHOVES YOU, and calls you a slut before walking away with someone else on his arm

Gwen absolutely seething as she reflects on how Flash treated her Peter and Pavitr is swearing curses onto his entire family line meanwhile Hobie just like "oy would it break canon if I smash my guitar over that pisser's head". Peter 'I just wanna talk to him' B Parker as he hands Mayday off to Jess while cracking his knuckles. Miguel is, well, upset about like 10 different things because God fucking damn it, how long have you been hanging around with non-Spiders in other universes? (Do you think the Spider Society would be like, more than just a little possessive and insular, since youre supposed to be part of the Ha Ha We're All Spiderman club and they catch you hanging with normies over them) Is there anyone else? What have you been doing? He's just instantly a mixture of furious and hurt because damn it don't you know you're like his favorite, why the fuck are you running around potentially flirting with canon, don't you know how dangerous this is

But also deadass he wants to tear that man apart with his claws and he's considering checking the canon events of this universe to see if he can make it so

The Gang just watching as you pick yourself up but can't stop crying, and you drag your feet as you head to sit in a park or something, seeming like your entire form and surroundings are nothing but a depressed, deep blue. You're in a park or something so they can't exactly approach you normally because there are people around, but you just sit there crying for ages before you eventually pick yourself up and draaaaaag your feet, seeming to walk around aimlessly until, eventually, you go to a dark alley or under a bridge somewhere and they all pop out at you just as you're about to warp home anyways and you're just immediately bombarded by all these people

"Hey, you know what he said isn't true, right? Dude's a punk bitch!"

"Scuse me? I take that personally. He IS a total fuckin wanker though"

"Hon, you can't let what some ego-tripping blonde who peaked in high school said make you feel like this! He ain't worth it!"

And you're just standing there looking at them as your heart breaks a little more because you HAD been wanting some kind of support in all of this but you're muttering out with disbelief, "you guys followed me...?" And you're really hurt by that, but, here comes Miguel, stalking forward, putting a hand on your shoulder that's one part sympathetic comfort, one part possessive anger as he glowers at you with chestnut eyes that almost look RED, "anything else you wanna share?"

Miguel marching back to the weekly We Love Reader meeting and slapping a graphic up onto the wall with your face like a PSA "THIS Spider FUCKS and only YOU can stop it" fhfjfjg no not really but like non yandere Spiders are doing their own thing when, from a secret meeting room somewhere in Nueva York, the ground practically shakes with dozens upon dozens if not hundreds of voices crying out in agony "NOT FLASH THOMPSON 😩"

Bonus points if like, one of the things The Gang had witnessed was you crying and all that right, but, what if Reader had specifically said to Flash, "but I gave you my VIRGINITY" like. Mayhem. Pandemonium. All the Spiders have a sudden "aha!" because wow no wonder you suddenly started talking about how you're worthless and don't matter, this DICK HEAD lured you into a false sense of security and trust and then took your virginity and bounced while calling you a fucking loser and judging by that shove, has maybe even put his hands on you before? Like fuckinnnngggg The Society and your entire friend group freaking the fuck out one day because you have a black eye one day you were trying to hide with sunglasses and you say it was from a Villain but they're all like Nah Fam That's Sus because how would a villain pop one off on your face when you have super strength and Spidey Sense and they get you/intimidate you to open up and it's like, oh, that was because your "boyfriend" didnt like how you thought you smelled someone else's perfums/cologne on him and he lost his temper when you pressed him for answers, and even when you tell them the truth you're still crying with a small laugh, "it was my fault, I should've backed off and realized I was upsetting him"

Reader just gets surrounded by all their friends and "the cute Spiders" like the cat Spiderman and oh my fucking god there's a plushie Spiderman and just, gosh, they try to basically smother you with love to cheer you up and bring your confidence back but your heart has been wounded and needs time to heal 🥺 regardless, later on Detective Stacey is having to investigate and finds Mr Thompson in an alleyway with a busted knee that permanantly ends any sort of athletic career and the words "CHEATER" cut across his body in multiple places while he's covered in scratches, bruises, bites, and he keeps mumbling the weirdest most incoherent shit under his breath that gets him hospitalized

"The- the pig... it TALKED... it pulled out a HAMMER... from its POCKET... the pig... had ... POCKETS..."

[i-cant-sing]

I wonder what would happen if Y/N had a really bad day and just decided to pick a sibling from the Yan!Todoroki clan like a cat would pick its person and just?? Sit in their lap?? They'd say 'I had a terrible day, no torture today please' before taking their well-deserved nap lookin' all cute and peaceful. Then the sibling would be so proud and confused at the same time but really really happy like 'omg for real? Me? What's happening?? 🥺'. Bonus points if it's Dabi just having the widest grin on his face while staring straight at the rest of the fam seething with jealousy.

I saw your works btw and been inhalin em all cause they're all so good *chef's kiss*

-Vibin' anon

Yandere Dabi comforting sister reader

This is so cute omg. Thank u Vibin anon!

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Dabi:

Shotou had come to pick you up from school today. Even though he had a busy schedule himself, he still made time for you, just like the rest if your family.

"How was school?" He asked.

"Fine."

"Just fine? Wasn't your result supposed to come today?"

You nodded. "It did. I passed."

Shotoy smiled. "Thats great. Did you get your report card?"

You knew he was going to ask for it. You also knew that he already knew what grades you got.

You nodded and handed him the report card from your bag.

Shotou's face lit up when he saw your grades.

"You're first again. I'm so proud of you." He patted your head.

You smiled. "Thanks."

By the time you guys reached home, you already knew that your entire family was home. They always were when your result came. You knew the principal had already informed Enji of your grades, she always does.

When you entered the house, your family yelled "surprise!" You feigned shock as they hugged you and congratulated you on your achievement.

Rei had prepared a little feast for you, everything was made from scratch. Enji was beaming with joy, he was so proud of his little girl. Rei had made your favourite cake, kissing your cheek as you cut it. Enji had gotten you beautiful diamond necklace. Natsuo, Shotou and Fuyumi had gotten you some gifts as well, stuff you had vaguely mentioned about. Dabi wasn't home, but you didn't mind his absence.

Your family had planned to spend the night on the couch cuddling and doing a movie marathon, but when you asked them to excuse you for the night because you were feeling tired, they became a but worried. You reassured them that you just had a long day at school as well, and now that you were stuffed with Rei's delicious food, sleep was inevitable. They nodded, a bit sad that you wouldn't be joining, but understanding nonetheless.

You went up the stairs to your room, and as soon as you closed the door, the smile you had been displaying all night was wiped off.

You sat on your bed and recalled the events of the day. Tears pricked your eyes, but you kept yourself quiet. They're not worthy crying over, you reminded yourself. Still, you couldn't help but crumple up your report card and throw it in the dustbin.

Silent tears fell from your eyes, no longer being able to hold them in. God, its infuriating.

Suddenly, you heard someone knock on your bedroom door. You looked at the clock. 12 am.

Its Dabi.

You couldn't deal with him tonight. You remained silent, hoping he'd leave you alone.

But of course not.

You quickly turned away from the door as soon as you heard it open. Wiping your tears quickly, you heard Dabi come in.

"You brat. Why didn't you answer when I knocked?" He asked, pushing the door close with his foot.

"Leave me alone, Dabi." You were trying hard to stabilise your voice.

"Huh?! Is that anyway to talk to your favourite brother?" Dabi mocked as he pulled at your ponytail. You yelped before turning around to push him away.

Dabi was about to laugh at you when he suddenly noticed the your face. Your eyes were full of tears, lashes heavy with them. Your face was flush, your nostrils flared, your lips in a pulled in a tight scowl. Had you been crying? Or did he make you cry?

"Hey, I'm sorry-"

"Just leave me alone." You said as you angrily wiped the tears from your face.

Dabi was shocked to see you like this. He had never seen you cry, not even when he took his teasing a little too far. So, to see you react like this, it worried him a bit.

"Have you been crying? What's the matter? Did you fail or something?" His voice actually held some concern.

You shook your head, pulling your ponytail loose. "Its nothing. Just leave."

Dabi could see the pain in your eyes. What happened? He plopped down on your bed next to you. "Come on. Tell me." He poked your shoulder. "You know I won't leave until you tell me."

"Its nothing, really." You sniffled, avoiding his gaze.

"Did Enji say something?" Dabi asked, his voice taking a dangerous tone. "Look at me. Did he do something?" He's going to kill that bastard if he-

"What? No. God, just go."

Dabi let out a huff. He'll have to use another strategy. "Fine. Don't tell me. I'll just tell Shotou you have been crying, and then you can answer to him."

Shotou? God, he would just overthink everything and do something stupid.

You caught his wrist just as he was about to leave. "Do you have to be such a jerk every single day?" You glared daggers at him.

Dabi smirked before pulling his wrist away and plopping on the bed next to you. "Yes. Big brother privileges." He poked your cheek. "Now spill."

You looked at him, hoping he'd just get blasted magically. Idiot.

You inhaled deeply before closing your eyes. "Its stupid, really." Dabi stared at you, signalling for you to continue. "Something... happened at school." You paused. "Just a couple of assholes."

Dabi was attentive now. "Go on."

You looked down at your lap, playing with your fingers. "Some kids in my class... they said mean things about me."

"Bullying?" Dabi quirked an eyebrow.

You shook your head. "I- I don't think so. They just said that I only get the highest grade in class because of my dad. Like Enji bribes the school into giving me good marks." You sniffled. "They undermine me. They say I'm not good enough to be in their school, and that the only reason I got in was because of my surname."

Tears dripped down your face slowly, almost as if they were ashamed to fall.

You wiped them away harshly. "And it doesn't matter what I say. I've tried to befriend them, I've tried to get along with them, but they still ridicule me. Its frustrating. They... they don't understand that my only option is to be the best." You whispered the last part, but Dabi heard you loud and clear.

He sat up and gently gripped your chin, turning your face towards him as he narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean 'its your only option'?"

You rolled your eyes. "You know what I mean. I know that no one in the family cares if I get the highest marks or not but...I still have to live up to the family name. What will people say if the number 1 hero's kid is both quirkless and dumb?" Your lips wobbled.

Oh. Ohhhh.

You don't want to let down the Todoroki name; you don't want to let down Enji.

He already knew it was that shithead's fault.

Dabi sighed before pulling you close to him. Placing an arm around your shoulders while his other hand wiped your tears away.

Wanting to prove your worth, that you're a valuable asset to the family. Dabi never thought he'd see himself in you, or his younger self really.

"You're an idiot." Dabi began, carding his fingers through your hair. "You don't have to be the best. You're not expected to. You know, the family knows, hell even I know how hard you worked to get in that school. I've seen how you'd do all nighters, how many times you've turned down going out so that you could do well in your exams. But you don't have to do that." He tilted your chin up, staring into your glossy eyes. "We don't care what the public thinks of us. We won't care if you fail. We don't care you're quirkless. You're not expected to be anything but a good girl." He squished your cheeks together, making you look like a fish. "You just need to be safe. Do you understand?"

You sniffled as you nodded. "Yes. Thank you."

Dabi smiled. "Why didn't you tell anyone before?" You shrugged in response. "You know what would've happened if I said anything. They're already hesitant to let me go to school, this would just give them another reason to homeschool me. Besides, I didn't let their words get to me before, so it really wasn't a big deal." Before? You were about to continue but then kept your mouth shut. But Dabi saw that. He pulled you away from him, his eyes turning sharp as he raised his eyebrows. "But something else happened today as well?"

You averted his scrutinising gaze, keeping your lips sealed as you shook your head no. "Do not lie to me. Or I'll tell Shotou and Enji and then they can handle-"

Your eyes widened. "Do you ever stop making threats?" Rolling your eyes, you told him what happened. "It wasn't anything serious. One of those jerks... thought it'd be funny to try and kiss me. When he tried to force me, I slapped him. Really hard. My handprint still on his face." You smiled at that. "He said the only reason he wasn't using his quirk on me was because I was Todorokis charity case. Then he said that I should be grateful that he was going to kiss me, especially since no one cares about a quirkless, frigid bitch like me." You let out a humourless laugh, but Dabi could see the pain in your eyes. You gave a small smile. "Dont worry. I already know what they said isn't true."

Thats it.

Dabi was already planning murder. He's going to make those little shits pay for what they did to you. The nerve to not only bully you, but make you cry, and then touch you? Dabi is gonna make sure they get tortured in every way possible before he incinerates them-

"Dabi?"

Your soft voice pulled him out of his violent thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"Can you... stay the night?"

He looked at your tear stricken face, your eyes were still laden with tear drops, your nose red from all the sniffling.

How could he say no to you? You looked ugly.

"Its okay. You don't have to-" you were cut off by a pillow hitting your face.

"Move over, brat." He climbed in the bed with you, covering you both with the blanket. "And don't put your cold feet on mine." You smiled cheekily at that.

"Don't hog the blanket- why do you need it anyway?"you yanked the blanket.

Dabi pushed another pillow on your face, laughing as you punched his shoulder. "You're insufferable."you mumbled.

It took a while to get comfortable on your single bed, but it ended up with your head on his chest, while Dabi propped himself against the headboard.

"Thank you." You whispered.

Dabi hummed. "Dont think I don't know why you're doing this."

You smiled softly. He caught on to why you were keeping him home that night; you knew he would do something terrible to those guys. "Promise me you won't hurt them?"

Dabi remained silent. You pulled your head away to look up at him. "Dabi. Promise."

When he didn't reply, tears started forming your eyes. He sighed, before shoving your face back into his chest. "Fine, crybaby. I won't hurt them. Promise." You're such a brat, stopping him from doing his big brother duties.

You went back to snuggling him, not taking long for you to finally go to sleep. Once Dabi made sure you were asleep, he pulled out his phone and texted Toga.

"Need a favour. Up 4 stabbing?"

[carelessannie]

here’s the second part of my winteriron mermay au! enjoy!

while we’re devoting full time to floating chapter two: boy you better do it soon

Rating: M (for now) Word Count: 6.8K Relationships: Tony x Bucky Warnings: Smut adjacent (unintentional sex toys), sexual tension, profanity, kinda drug/alcohol use Read on AO3 Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

- - -

His eyes blink open slowly. It’s strange to wake up without a blinding headache. Actually, it’s strange to wake up without any pain. And with the sun shining in his face.

To his left, he sees a small form on the water’s surface. In his mind’s eye he knows the form is familiar, knows that there should be someone inside— but it slips quickly, evading his memory as the dark form fades over the horizon.

Tony shakes his head. He smacks his lips.

Where is he?

First of all, he’s definitely not in the ocean. It seems like he’s resting on some type of rock formation, with just his tail hydrated in the water. Interesting. He seems to be inside a cove, the shelter working wonders to hide him from the mid-afternoon sun.

Secondly, he’s alone. He never travels alone, especially not to the shore. It hurts to try and remember, but reality slams into him like an orca whale. Rhodey and Pepper. The exploration to colonize. The fucking Tiger Sharks, dammit! Tony’s tail slaps the surface of the water in frustration, and he lets his body slip into the shallow pool.

He hopes the sharks didn’t get his friends. The memory of the fight is hazy at best, but he knows he shouldn’t be feeling this good afterwards— he’s pretty sure he got hit at least once. There are no scratches or bruises anywhere on his body, and it’s confusing that he doesn’t even have a headache.

That’s a problem for later, though. Now, Tony needs to find his friends— or, what remains of his friends. He swims out of the cove and down, through the reefs. Fish seem to be tentatively peeking out of their hiding spots, and he follows the empty spaces to trace the path a shark might have taken. He whistles, sharp and quick, to try and map out the figures in the surrounding area, and is satisfied when his call is returned with a low chirp. Thank the sea.

“Rhodey!” he hollers, pushing through the crowded reef, searching wildly for his closest friend, his faithful number two. As Tony breaks into the clearing, he freezes at the sight in front of him.

Rhodey and Pepper are swimming territorial circles around all three Tiger Sharks— and, from the looks of it, all three are dead.

“Tony!” Pepper notices him first and beckons him closer. When he swims up, she throws her arms around his neck, sobbing briefly into his shoulder, before reeling back and lightly slapping his arm, “How dare you worry me like that! I was sure all we’d find were scales— how did you get away?”

“I…” Tony tries to remember, he really does, but the only things coming to mind are brilliant blue eyes, an ethereal glow, and a deep, alluring voice, “I think someone saved me. But, by the time I woke up, they were gone.”

“You didn’t recognize them?” Rhodey swims closer, looking him up and down, inspecting for injuries.

“No, I don’t… I don’t think they’re part of the Kingdom,” Tony murmurs, reaching up to subconsciously play with his signet ring. His memory is usually so sharp, it’s strange that—

“Holy shit, Tony— look!” Pepper interrupts, pointing at his chest. He looks down, but all he can see is a slight illumination around his sternum.

“What—”

“Stay still,” Rhodey snaps, gently lifting the ring off of his skin. Pepper reaches in to trace a delicate circle on his chest, and both of his friends look awestruck. And afraid. He tries to crane his neck and see, but all he notices is that the glow fades the longer the ring is kept from touching his body. Rhodey hums, thoughtfully, “Seems like the ring is enchanted. I haven’t encountered a witch in ages— but I guess one came out of hiding to save you.”

“I guess. Pep, do you have a mirror?” The longer Rhodey holds the ring, the tighter Tony’s chest feels. He plucks it out of Rhodey’s hand as Pepper pulls a mirror out of her satchel, turning it around so Tony can take a look.

His signet ring lays in the center of his chest, a steady weight, and radiates a faint glow. It’s more concerning that, surrounding the ring, there’s a few inches of light emanating from under his skin. Tony reaches up to trace it— the gold ring and blue haze, so similar to the eyes he remembers saving him. Still, nothing hurts, and Tony pushes the mirror away.

He ignores their concerned looks and starts to tie up the sharks, concentrating on getting them back to the Kingdom before any larger predators arrive to investigate. After a moment, both of them swim down to help him, shouldering the bodies and heading back towards the Kingdom’s butcher.

It’s a few more minutes before Tony breaks the silence, giving his friends a break, “So, uh… do you think I’ll be a lanternfish forever?” He throws them a smirk and laughs at Pepper’s exasperated sigh.

Rhodey bumps into his shoulder, “You have trouble blending in as it is— at least now we’ll be able to keep track of you… in night clubs.”

Tony gwuafs, offended, and shoves at Rhodey’s shoulder. With everyone happy and laughing, it’s easy to forget about his mysterious savior and the inevitable conversation he’s going to have with his father later on. They head straight for the butcher when they enter the city, several citizens cheering and praising their kill. Tony knows he’ll get the credit for it, even though it was Rhodey and Pepper who slew the sharks, so he takes off as soon as they drop the bodies, heading to the castle to see the King.

---

Hours later, Tony sits at the far perimeter between two sentinels, staring out into the open ocean. The nocturnal fish have emerged, sending an eerie glow onto the city as the lights dim, throwing the Kingdom into gentle darkness. It does nothing to soothe Tony’s anger.

He takes Pepper’s satchel, full of rocks and shells and other samples from their journey, and dumps it over the side of the wall. Useless. It’s almost as if his dad doesn’t even want to explore anymore, just sending Tony out to keep him distracted. And he knows that’s probably the case, he’s not stupid, but he can tell there’s something deeper his dad isn’t telling him.

Well, fuck ‘im. Tony’s more than capable of figuring it out on his own.

For now, he stares out into the distance, throwing a silent Tony pity party.

There’s movement in the distance. At first, Tony thinks it’s debris. It’s not uncommon for items to fall from the surface— but this object suddenly twists, and he sees… shit, he sees arms. Fuck. It’s a person.

“Stay alert,” he instructs the guard on his right, “I’m gonna check it out.”

Tony takes off into the dark, distantly aware that one of the guards is hot on his tail, and heads straight for the figure still drifting towards the ocean floor. He slows down as he approaches, thankful for the light in his chest that illuminates his surroundings. When he gets to the spot, sand is settling in a cloud around where the figure landed. It takes a moment for everything to clear, and Tony waits patiently, the guard at his side prepared with a weapon.

It’s a man. “Holy shit,” Tony breathes out, swimming closer to the limp body stretched across the sand and rock.

“Be careful, your Highness,” his guard warns, and Tony waves his hand in dismissal.

The man landed facing away from him, giving Tony a good view of strong, muscular shoulders and wavy, shoulder-length hair, half tied back behind his ears in a small knot. His back rises and falls, expanding with slow breaths that reassure the man’s gentle sleep. He leans over and pulls on his shoulder, carefully turning him onto his back.

He’s absolutely gorgeous. Lips slightly parted and turned down in sleep, his face is utterly serene. His lashes are dark and cast a delicate shadow over sharp cheekbones, sprinkled with a tasteful amount of scruff, not quite enough to hide his full jawline and smooth, tanned skin. Tony can’t help himself— he reaches down and cups the man’s jaw, brushing his thumb over full lips and wishing he could look into this man’s eyes.

With a gasp, the man jerks awake, and Tony gets his wish. Deep, electric gray eyes bore into his own, the handsome face overtaken with shock and confusion as he bolts upright, pushing Tony away and looking around frantically.

“Hey, hey— it’s alright. You’re okay, please don’t panic,” Tony tries to calm him down, sighing in relief when the man turns his focus back on Tony, still looking desperate and confused, “My name’s Tony, you’re outside Howard’s Northern Kingdom— can you… can you tell me your name? Where you came from?”

The man shakes his head. He’s shaking slightly, and Tony watches as he runs his hands over his chest, his hips, and his silver and crimson tail— as if grounding himself in the present. Tony understands and gives the guy some space.

He hates the devastated look in the man’s stunning eyes, but is grateful when he croaks out, “The… the Northern Kingdom? Under water?”

Tony snickers, motioning around, “For now, yeah— that’s where sea life generally lives.”

The man nods, a little too quickly, “Right, I… of course, right. My name…” he grimaces, as though it’s painful to remember, “I’m James, but… but people call me Bucky.”

“Bucky,” Tony repeats, liking the sound of this stranger’s voice, somehow familiar, “I’m Tony, and King Howard is my father. Unfortunately, before I can help you out, I’m gonna need to know why you’re here, or where you’re from,” he gestures to the guard behind him, “otherwise this guy’s not gonna let you come home with me.”

Bucky’s smile is a revelation as it breaks over his face. Tony feels something twist in his chest as he ducks his head, looking up at Bucky through his lashes and watching the other man’s cheeks flush pink in delight. Oh, Tony likes this a lot.

“Well, I’m… I’m from…” the smile falls from Bucky’s face as he concentrates, a painful grimace maring his features again, “The Kingdom of Brooklyn, and my brother is the King. His name is Steve. And I… I don’t know why I’m here,” his brow furrows and a small whimper leaves his throat as he concentrates harder, and Tony has to stop it.

“Hey, Bucky? Please don’t— don't’ hurt yourself, okay?” He grins in approval as Bucky relaxes, “We can work on it, sweetheart, for now, what you’ve given me should be sufficient. I’ve never heard of Brooklyn, but if you’re a Prince and not one of our enemies, our King shouldn’t have a problem with offering you temporary residence.”

“I… okay,” Bucky agrees, looking down at his hands, “I don’t want to impose.”

Tony holds out a hand and pulls Bucky along with him.  They swim back through the gate and into the city— most families are already tucked into their homes for the night, so no one sees them on their way back to the castle. Bucky looks absolutely stunned, barely talking during their journey, and it amuses Tony to no end. Obviously whatever Kingdom he’s from is small and underdeveloped in technology and population.

They travel shoulder to shoulder, and Tony can’t help but feel a familiar warmth when their arms brush against each other, the ring around his neck pulsing brighter. It seems like Bucky notices it too, but the expression on his face is difficult to read.

“So this is a weird question,” Tony starts, fiddling with the ring as he studies Bucky’s face. The other man smiles encouragingly, so Tony continues, “have we… met before? Like, specifically earlier today?”

Bucky stops suddenly, looking at Tony as if he’s actively growing another tail. For a moment his face looks surprised, filled with recognition, but it quickly disappears as Bucky hunches over and lets out a pained gasp, clutching desperately at his head. Tony has no idea what to do— and in panic, he pulls Bucky closer, wrapping the larger man in his arms.

“Shh, I’m so sorry,” Tony whispers, trying to soothe away the pain. Bucky is trembling like a leaf in his arms, and he’s helpless to do anything about it. He’s also aware that they’re drifting in between several dwellings, and Tony needs to get them inside, soon.

Soft, red-rimmed eyes blink up at him, and Tony brings up his hand to push a few wayward strands of hair out of Bucky’s face. Even upset and in pain, this man is flawless. He sniffles and blinks a few times, struggling to turn a reassuring smile up at Tony.

“T-thank you,” he murmurs, face flushing pink again in embarrassment, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Everything is… familiar. But I can’t remember you, I’m sorry.”

Tony clicks his tongue, following the blush with his fingers and enjoying the close press of their bodies, “It’s okay, Bucky— we’ll figure it out.”

---

They make it back to the castle in one piece, and Tony knows it’s going to be best to present his guest to the King immediately. He knows his presence isn’t welcome due to the argument earlier in the evening, but the consequences will be worse if Tony tries to hide what he’s found.

The two of them wait outside of the King’s rooms as a steward leaves to announce them to his father. Tony tries to fill Bucky in on procedures, but it seems his guest is already familiar with a number of expectations and etiquette.

“Oh, and remember to tuck your tail as well. And if he tells you to be informal, he really means you can call him ‘Your Grace,’ not to call him Howard. He’ll hate that.” Tony rambles, listing off everything he can think of.

“Wait,” Bucky stops him, “tuck my… tail? Why?”

Tony chuckles, backing up slightly to face Bucky. He looks around to make sure no others are watching— it would be improper for the Prince to bow, even in jest— and when he’s satisfied that the coast is clear, tucks himself into a formal bow.

“Oh,” Bucky breathes, and Tony unfolds himself, his smile erased completely by the intensity in Bucky’s eyes. Fuck. “That’s… that was…”

And then smoothly, gracefully, Bucky mirrors his bow, curling his tail forward, dipping his head, and crossing one arm over his chest respectfully. Tony is speechless. The show of respect— even casually— from this breathtaking man, has him breathing deep to keep his desire at bay.

It seems as though Bucky’s having a similar problem. As he unfolds from his bow, Tony can see his pupils blown wide, the scales around his groin flushed pink in arousal. Tony can bet his own scales look the same, and tries to laugh, tries to calm them down as he backs away slightly. It won’t help either of them to see the King looking like this.

Of course that’s the moment the King’s steward chooses to return, giving both of them a disapproving once over before opening the door wide, “His Majesty will see you in his library.”

Okay, not the worst then. If Tony was in deep shit, Howard would just see them in the drawing room. At least Tony likes the library.

He leads Bucky down the hall and into the library, hiding a smile at the awe clearly written on Bucky’s face. He takes a second look, trying to view his father’s library with fresh eyes, but has trouble when his gaze keeps landing on the handsome man swimming next to him.

Howard is reclining near a window, absently eating a few fermented algae— his usual method of winding down from a difficult day. As the King looks their way, a piece of algae still in his fingers, Bucky dips into a formal bow. Triton, he looks good like that. Tony dips his head, informally, and both of them straighten up a moment later.

“What is it, Anthony?” his dad sighs, putting the piece of algae on his tongue to dissolve. Tony suddenly feels parched, but holds his arm out to present Bucky regardless.

“An hour ago, as I was watching the border of our Kingdom, a figure fell from the surface. I went to investigate with a guard, and we found James, here, unconscious and unarmed. James claims to be a prince from a Kingdom called Brooklyn, with a King named Steve, and is seeking asylum until he can resume his travels. His mind is damaged, and I wish to extend my care and hospitality towards him for the duration of his stay.”

The King looks at both of them, his face refusing to give anything away, but Tony knows from experience that he’s much more perceptive than Tony gives him credit for. He crosses his arms and addresses Bucky, “Prince James, then,” he says, testing out the title, “if not hostile, what are your intentions towards my Kingdom and my son?”

Bucky ducks his head and nods, “My intentions are to know your Kingdom and know your son, if he so desires, Your Majesty. I am healing and recovering my memories, and once I’ve reclaimed my original destination, I shall depart immediately.”

Howard nods, satisfied with this answer. He points to the small pail on his side table, “Anthony, would you bring your… friend a refreshment?”

Tony spares Bucky a shrug and swims over to the chilled container, lifting it slightly to scoop out a small bundle of algae into a glass, trapping them quickly with a lid. He grabs a few for himself and makes his way over to where Bucky floats, his eyes wide and curious as Tony hands over the refreshment.

Bucky looks down at the cup in his hands, obviously and adorably lost. Tony glances over at Howard— his dad looking between them in amusement— and touches Bucky’s shoulder, catching his gaze and motioning for him to follow Tony’s example.

Reaching into his glass, Tony fishes out a piece of algae, showing Bucky how it sticks slightly to his finger. Bucky copies him, and grabs a smaller piece in between his forefinger and thumb. Tony wishes he could feed the bit to Bucky himself, place it on his tongue and feel his pretty pink lips suck it from his hand.

Instead, he quickly places it on his own tongue, humming happily as the sweet and sour algae dissolves, sending a warm shiver down into his belly, clearing his head and heating him up from the inside out. Damn, his dad always has the best shit.

He turns his attention back to Bucky, watching intently as he follows suit and places the morsel in his mouth. His eyebrows shoot up, he looks down at the cup in shock— as if the remaining algae could provide some explanation— and then, to Tony’s dismay, Bucky lets out a guttural groan, eyes fluttering shut in pleasure as his cheeks hollow out, lips curling tight around his fingers while he sucks them clean.

Tony is having something close to a stroke, and his dad is laughing loudly in front of them, obviously finding Tony’s distress amusing. He’s going to commit regicide, and it’s going to be slow and painful and bloody.

He overcompensates by taking the lid off his glass and throwing the rest of the algae back, breathing deep as the sensation hits him all at once. As he sways a bit in place, he catches Bucky staring at him in amusement.

“Anthony,” his father sighs, shaking his head in annoyance, “do whatever you must. He can stay… in your rooms, primarily. Or in the guest lodging— as long as you have security on him at all times. Get Jarvis to set up residence wherever you’d like, Anthony. Just don’t let me hear it, and don’t let me see it.”

Bucky is frozen with another algae halfway to his mouth, flushed red and eyes wide. Tony is convinced that flustered is his natural state. Before his dad can embarrass them further, Tony takes Bucky’s hand and excuses them, swimming quickly back down the hallway.

He doesn’t stop until they reach his rooms and slam the door. They’re already cackling before they hit the nest, and Tony can’t catch his breath. He rolls over and tucks close into Bucky’s side, enjoying how his chest shakes as they laugh together.

“What the fuck did I just eat, Tony,” Bucky wheezes, and Tony loses it again, ducking his face into Bucky’s neck and sobbing into his skin.

“Fer… fermented algae, baby.”

“I— I can’t believe… it tasted like…” and Bucky’s voice cuts off, his body stilling. Tony looks up to see what happened, and Bucky is staring straight forward, unmoving. Frozen.

“Bucky? What did… what did it taste like?”

“It. I can’t…” And again, Bucky’s face contorts, breath stuttering as his hands come up to cradle his face, sighing in pain. Tony immediately pulls his hands away and replaces them with his own, massaging his temples until he’s met with deep, gray pools of sweet relief.

“Don’t push it, honey,” Tony purrs, resting his body gently on top of Bucky’s, rubbing their noses together and blowing a few bubbles, making Bucky giggle and relax. He lays his head down on Bucky’s chest, before realizing how close they are together— and how little they’ve actually gotten to know each other.

“Dammit,” he curses, pushing off of Bucky’s chest and floating away, “we don’t— shit. I don’t even know you. You have no idea who you even are. I am so sorry, I just fed you an unknown substance, oh seas,”

“Tony, it’s okay—”

“I’ll get you your own room, I promise. You don’t have to put up with—”

“Tony! Hey,” Bucky swims off the nest and presses him up against the ceiling, pinning his shoulders and staring into his eyes, “I remember who I am, I just can’t recall where my home is. I know the name of my brother, and my best friends. I have a…” small grimace, “pet named Alpine. I’m a scientist and a Prince, and I’m almost completely convinced that I’m—”

He pauses, a familiar blush traveling down his chest and filling his cheeks. Tony blinks down at him, “That you’re what?”

“That I’m already, irreversibly infatuated with you.”

Tony feels the ring around his neck pulse, bright and hot on his skin, as if agreeing with the sentiment. He wants to respond, really does, but everything is too new, too important. Bucky is too important.

They’re close, though. Tails brushing together, bubbles of air mixing and joining in front of their faces. Tony can hear his own heartbeat, frantic and longing for the man in front of him. Bucky reaches up, acting as if he wants to touch the ring, but he hesitates. His fingers flex, his eyes blink rapidly, and then he’s reaching into Tony’s hair, pulling on strands tenderly and cradling his face in strong, sure hands.

And Tony just melts in his palms, an absolute jellyfish for this mysterious stranger. The tension between them is heavy, thick and magnetic. He drifts into Bucky’s space and tries to watch for a sign, any sign, but his eyes are closed— when did his eyes close? And then their scales rub together, catching and pulling, tearing a desperate moan from Tony’s lips. There’s a hand in his hair and eyelashes on his cheek, and their lips— their breath—

“I can’t,” Tony whispers, forcing his eyes open to watch Bucky frown in confusion. “I’m sorry, I’m crazy about you, but you deserve…” and he can’t remember, right now, everything that Bucky deserves, but he knows it’s a lot.

“Oh, I… Okay. I get it,” Bucky nods, devastating resignation taking over his handsome features, “I’m not… I can’t…”

“Can we just sleep? Talk and spend the day together in the morning?” Tony suggests, like an adult. Bucky nods, suddenly yawning and glancing up at Tony sheepishly.

“Sounds perfect, Anthony,” he smirks, chuckling again as Tony swats at him playfully.

It only takes a few minutes to set up a guest room for Bucky, fit already with a flawlessly woven nesting kit and other amenities. Tony even makes sure to include a pail of chilled algae, ugly laughing when Bucky discovers it by the dressing mirror.

The next day comes soon enough, and Tony has enough sense to cancel his engagements, asking his steward to clear his schedule and plan a tour of the kingdom for the two of them.

Before Bucky wakes— Tony assumes he’s still asleep in the guest suite— he has the royal gardeners collect fragments of coral and deep sea sponges to present to his new… friend. He asks for crimson and gold, colors not only of Tony’s scales, but also of Bucky’s as well.

When the arrangements arrive, he spends a few minutes weaving them together with a few ties from his nest and small strands of his hair, intimate details that he’s sure Bucky will love.

He waits in his living space for Bucky to join him. The windows are thrown open, letting a gentle morning current sweep through, and Tony sits with the coral and sponges draped over his arms. And he waits.

After a few minutes, he’s done waiting. He calls his steward to check on Bucky, and watches as the boy disappears down the hallway. There’s a knock, the faint sound of the door being opened, and then low, urgent voices. The steward swims back to him, looking guilty.

“He sends his apologies. He says that he’s not used to rising without direct light, and missed the wake up call completely. He should be around in a few moments, sir.”

“Oh, yes— that’s fine,” Tony places the arrangement in front of him and dismisses the steward, choosing to pick on the assorted breakfast foods instead.

It’s only a few moments before Bucky joins him, looking absolutely delicious and well rested. He sits next to Tony— very close, actually— and takes a suspicious look at the meal prepared for them.

“It’s… fish? For breakfast?”

Tony’s surprised again by his confusion, “Yes, honey, we generally eat fish for breakfast. If you’d like, I can have the cook crack you open a few clams instead? Oh, he makes the best sweet clam mix— it’s to die for,”

“No, no that’s fine,” Bucky waves his hands, reaching for an assortment of fresh eel instead, “these should be… these should be good.”

Tony watches in glee as Bucky slurps down the eel, grimacing and gagging slightly when it hits his tongue. He hides a smile when Bucky sits up straighter, obviously testing the flavor on his palette, before turning to Tony and putting his hands on his hips.

“Okay, but… why was that so good?”

Tony splutters, “You ass! You had me fooled— thinking you didn’t like fish for breakfast, like a fucking lunatic.”

Bucky chuckles, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. For a moment, he looks so lost and confused that all Tony can do is urge him to eat more fish, shoving three or four more plates in his face.

After they finish eating, Tony picks up his arrangement, feeling like a guppy as he hands it to Bucky, waiting for his reaction. Bucky— seas bless him— gives him a lopsided smile, holding the coral and sponges like they’re about to bite him. It’s confusing.

“Thank you, Tony. I’m not… I’m not supposed to eat it, right?”

“What?” Tony chokes, throwing his head back in laughter, “no, honey. It’s a gift. To admire. From my gardens.”

Bucky’s eyebrows draw close as he concentrates, something from his memory probably slipping away again, so Tony takes the arrangement from him. He sets it on the table, perfect decoration for the room, and grabs Bucky’s hand, leading him out of their rooms.

“Let’s go,” Tony urges, giving Bucky a reassuring wink as they head into the city.

Their day is incredible. Tony had no doubts before that the two of them would get along, would laugh and talk and joke as naturally as breathing. He’s proud of his Kingdom, too. Welcoming Bucky and treating him like a Prince— draping chains of flowering wildlife around his neck and offering them both assortments of salted meats— shark and squid and flounder— and dozens of fine jewels and beads.

If Tony purchases a number of those jewels for Bucky, it’s no one’s business but his.

He’s enraptured by the way Bucky experiences things. He’s always gasping and blushing as if each moment is special, new and unique, instead of normal and mundane. Tony feels drunk on it. He wants to spoil Bucky rotten, hoard all of his reactions to himself and make sure Bucky is always smiling like this— happy and soft and warm.

So Tony might be a little infatuated as well. He’s not supposed to fall in love this quickly, especially not with a stranger, but he feels inexplicably drawn to Bucky, as if by fate.

The days after pass similarly. Even when Tony has to resume his responsibilities, they still spend most of the day together— Bucky helping him delegate and problem solve issues in the Kingdom.

There are some bad days for Bucky— when he tries to remember too much and ends up with headaches that won’t go away. It’s especially bad when Tony leaves with Pepper and Rhodey to explore near the surface. Bucky refuses to go with them and spends those days in his room, clutching his head and sleeping restlessly. Tony thinks he may have repressed trauma that’s related to the surface, to the day Tony found him, but without access to his memories, it’s hard to know for sure.

Even with a few bad days in the mix, most of the time they spend together is indescribable, and, after only two weeks, Tony already has the crown jeweler fashioning traditional courting gifts for Bucky.

He whistles on the way to pick them up, swimming faster than usual, and even doing a few twirls when the excitement is just too much. As he inspects each piece, he knows the smile on his face is ridiculously wide. They’re perfect. He can’t help but imagine Bucky wearing each item, draped and adorned with metal and jewels and his family crest.

Bucky’s lounging in the garden when Tony finally finds him, admiring the array of coral on the south side of the palace. His hair is tied back— half up half down, framing his face beautifully— and he looks up when Tony swims into view.

“Hey, honey,” Tony greets, silently hating himself for being so soft around this man, “do you have a minute?”

“For you, I have all the time in the world.”

Tony ducks his head, the warm twist in his chest pulling him towards Bucky, and he watches the other man swim over from under his eyelashes. Once Bucky is in front of him, Tony hands him the box, looking at his face patiently for a reaction.

He turns it over, and looks at Tony, confused. “What’s this?”

“Oh, sorry,” Tony touches the lid, trailing his fingers over the crest engraved there, “it’s um… they’re traditional jewels I had crafted… for you.”

Bucky still looks unsure, “Okay,” he says, toying with the clasp on the box, “is there a special occasion, Tony?”

Tony just shakes his head, giving Bucky a reassuring smile, “Just open it— you’ll see.”

He gets a small smile in return, and Bucky lifts the lid, revealing the intricate set of jewels— chains and cuffs and clamps, all symbolizing Tony’s intent to court Bucky.

Unfortunately, Bucky looks absolutely horrified. He extends his arms, pushing the box away, and looks up into Tony’s eyes, “I… what the fuck, Tony?”

“... what?”

Bucky puts the gifts back into Tony’s hands and crosses his arms, “I’m sorry if you misunderstood our relationship, but I’m not… interested in this. I don’t want this. At least not yet.”

“Oh,” Tony is shocked still, gripping the box tightly in his arms, “I just… I thought we were…”

But Bucky is shaking his head, “I like you, Tony. I’m probably even falling in love with you. But I’m just not into that. I have a few friends who are, but we’d have to be… I don’t know, married or something, before I’d want to talk about that.”

Tony looks down into the box, suddenly confused, “Bucky, what do you think I’m trying to do?”

“Those are… aren’t those—” Bucky flushes, all the way down his chest and bites into his lip, “— like… for sex?”

What?

“No?” he is so confused, and a little offended. Why would anyone use these things for sex? Sure, they can be sexy, but—

“Tony, in what other context would I wear these?” Bucky pulls out a strand of jewels connected together with a chain, two fasteners at the ends to hold them in place.

“You’d wear them when we go out.”

“Tony! These are nipple clamps!” Bucky shakes them a little bit, trying to emphasize his point. Tony, for his part, doesn’t see the issue.

“Yes? But they’re traditional, not sexy.”

And then it looks like something dawns on Bucky— his face lights up and he chuckles, dropping the jewels back in the box and reaching forward to touch Tony’s face, tenderly scratching behind his ears.

“Tony— I need you to tell me, as if I’m a child and have no idea what’s going on, exactly what these gifts mean.”

And then Tony gets it. Wherever Bucky’s from, he’s never seen courting gifts like these. Damn, he’s such an idiot.

“They’re family jewels, forged with precious stone and metal, to create the traditional set of courting gifts presented by a royal family member to their potential spouse. Or consort, I guess. But yeah, it’s… I’m basically asking if I can court you, officially. And if you accept them and wear them in public, it’s a symbol of our relationship and eventual engagement.”

“Fuck,” Bucky curses, still playing with Tony’s hair, “yeah, yes— I’ll wear them for you. I’d love nothing more than to be yours, Tony. I just… do I need to give you something in return? For you to wear?”

“Actually, half of those pieces are for me,” Tony replies, pressing his cheek into Bucky’s hand. “If you’d like, we can try them on?”

“Sure, darling, let’s go try them.”

---

Tony can definitely see now why Bucky would think these jewels were made for sex. They lay each item out on Tony’s dressing table, organizing them neatly, and Tony has Bucky float in front of him, keeping his arms outstretched in front of the mirror so he can adorn Bucky with each jewel.

“So, first is the necklace— set with gold and twenty-five rubies,” he explains, draping the necklace around Bucky’s neck and clasping it underneath his hairline. He can’t resist, and places a delicate kiss on top of the clasp.

“Next is the belt,” he says, bringing his arms around Bucky’s waist to set the belt just above his scale-line, “usually these are more feminine in design, but I’ve had a larger crest engraved to rest over… well— let’s just say it implies masculinity.”

Tony busies himself with fastening the belt around Bucky’s waist and ignores the laugh he gets. He straightens up and hooks his chin over Bucky’s shoulder—

“Shit, you look beautiful.”

Bucky gives him a shy smile and turns his head to look into Tony’s eyes. He could get lost in those eyes, drowning daily in pools of ocean blue and gray.

Tony clears his throat and pulls back, “Okay, next we have, uh—” Triton, “the chest piece.”

He doesn’t even bother explaining this one, focusing on attaching it and quickly moving on before he can embarrass himself. Tony brings the chain around, holding it in place in front of Bucky’s chest. Unfortunately, his nipples are soft and there’s no visible place for a hold. Tony huffs and uses his left hand to reach out, lining up steadily, before quickly pinching Bucky’s nipple.

“Shit!” Bucky curses, looking down in surprise, but Tony is fast— attaching the first clip before Bucky can react. He keeps up a string of curses, gingerly touching the left clamp, and Tony uses his distraction to attach the second clip to Bucky’s now straining and hard right nipple. He backs up a bit to give Bucky space, waiting for the other man to calm down until he stops cursing and curiously touches the chest piece.

Bucky looks divine. Each chain floats lightly, reflecting light and casting shadow onto his pink skin, darker than usual due to residual embarrassment. Regardless, seeing Bucky in his jewels and colors is doing something to him.

“Only a few more,” he murmurs, picking up the wrist cuffs and motioning for Bucky to extend his arms. Bucky still looks overwhelmed— a mix of anger and confusion and arousal, probably— but Tony slips the cuffs on, fastening them snugly, and hooks a few rings around Bucky’s fingers, attached with delicate chains.

“Tony—” Bucky breathes, twisting his wrists to admire the jewelry. Tony’s determined to finish this, so he ignores his impulse— to touch and touch and touch and touch.

The last items are a set of jewels for his ears and a head piece. “Can you move your hair, Bucky?”

When Bucky obliges, Tony goes to thread the jewels, only to notice that Bucky’s ears are perfectly smooth. He feels around just to be positive, and Bucky giggles a bit at the sensation.

“So, we have a bit of a problem,” Tony backs up, showing Bucky the ear jewelry.

“Oh.”

“— if you don’t want to wear them, I won’t ask—”

“No, I…” Bucky feels around his own ears, pinching and tugging the lobes, “is there a way to fashion them with clips, like…” he motions to his chest, refusing to meet Tony’s eyes.

“Yes! Here, it shouldn’t be a difficult change, either,” Tony swims to his main doors, handing the jewels to his steward with a quick word of instruction for the craftsman. He swims back to see Bucky admiring the headpiece.

Tony takes it from his hands, giving him a reassuring smile, and Bucky dips his head forward. With perfect access, Tony lays the headpiece over Bucky’s dark waves, securing it behind his ears with two pins, and adjusting the chains and jewels to lay perfectly across his forehead.

It’s too much. Tony lets out a shuddering breath, finally finished with the gifts, and leans his head against Bucky’s, closing his eyes and holding on to Bucky’s shoulders.

“You look gorgeous, Bucky. I can’t believe you’re wearing my colors… that you’d agree to this.”

He feels a light touch on the back of his neck, and holds on tighter. Bucky pulls away— causing Tony to open his eyes, following his movement— and he draws Tony closer, dotting a kiss to his temple. They stay like that for a few more moments, enjoy the closeness and warmth, before Bucky chuckles and drifts away fully, turning back to the box.

“Alright— now how do I put these on you?”

Bucky holds up two cuffs, identical to the ones he put on earlier, and tilts his head. Tony grins and extends his arms, guiding Bucky gently in how to slip on the cuffs, tighten them, and attach the rings. When they’re fastened, Tony is captivated by the sight of both pairs of jewels shimmering in the light, practically shouting their attachment to each other.

The final pieces for Tony to wear are a necklace— similar to Bucky’s, but with a space for the signet ring around his neck— and a matching sash and belt. Bucky helps him put them on, and soon they’re floating and facing the mirror, mouths agape.

“Absolutely perfect,” Bucky murmurs, eyes never leaving Tony’s in their reflection.

Tony inhales slightly, “I know, the jewels are stunning.”

“No, darling,” Bucky turns him and looks down into his eyes, “it’s us. We’re a perfect match.”

He can’t help but smile, his stomach twisting with affection as he loops his arms around Bucky’s neck, pulling them close enough that their bodies are touching, tail to shoulder. Bucky gasps, the motion pulling on the chain across his chest, and suddenly all Tony can think about is getting his mouth on this man, wringing every drop of pleasure from him, watching him come apart with Tony’s name on his lips like a prayer—

“Your Highness, my apologies, but the King would see you in his drawing room.”

Tony laughs— unbelievable, “Tell the King I’ll see him within the hour,” he answers, never taking his gaze off Bucky, his dark, deep eyes, shining like the sea—

“I’m sorry, Your Highness, but the King insists on your immediate attention.”

“Shit,” Tony curses, letting Bucky go and turning to follow the steward from the room. He looks back, giving one last promise, “I’ll be back in a moment, I swear,” before disappearing out the door, heading down the hall to meet his father.

[a-crimson-lion]

I Need To Stop Reading Into Things…😂

Yet again for @kiricookie .

[Check out this post first.]

So… we’re here again. Lord forgive me, I’m back on my bulls***.

Okay, jokes aside, I really should stop doing these things, but I am a stubborn individual. Plus, I wanna see how our notes compare, and try to have more civil discussions on the internet than I see on average. I’d reblog, but again, your post is already long as is (not incredibly long, but still), and I’d rather not occupy dashboard space more than I need to.

Alright, I think I’ve said my piece. Let’s talk about your post…

Oof. Starting right in the heart of the issue, really.

I am aware that Izuku is… incredibly likeable. I am aware that some of his issues, while perceived by some as noble, are heavily problematic and probably need to get sorted out before the boy gets a close audience with death. I am also aware that some of his habits are less than courteous in some circumstances, though like you said, Izuku has the benefit of having no malicious intent when it comes to these actions, even if they can come off as annoying.

Now, regarding Katsuki’s snail pace development… I get what you’re trying to say, but that doesn’t make it come off as any less frustrating...

As much as I want to believe that Katsuki’s upbringing in society is what’s stunted his growth so badly, I wish the narrative was more willing to show it. All we’ve gotten of Katsuki’s past are flashbacks from Izuku, remarks during the visit to the Bakugo household, and the “raised with violence” line from the Remedial Course arc. Now this understandably paints a pretty terrible picture, but uh… what has Katsuki done to try to fix it? How has Katsuki tried to demonstrate that his upbringing wasn’t justified? Why is he imitating the behaviors he supposedly despises, that supposedly keep him held back, instead of trying to find a workaround? I’ve only seen a few growth/redemption arcs of antagonistic characters, but even if the arcs took long, there was always an ultimate reason for doing so. And Katsuki doesn’t have that. At least, not yet.

It’s been implicitly established that Katsuki’s growth will be the mother of all slowburns. I’ve mentioned it in this old post of mine, but this is doing Katsuki no favors, at least for me. Now don’t get me wrong, I love myself a flawed character, but there’s only so much I can stomach before a flawed character becomes less “flawed” and more “asshole.” I personally believe that his true growth doesn’t get started until “Deku vs. Kacchan 2” (Episode 61), but if we really wanna consider that “Bakugo’s Start Line” (Episode 8) is his… well, start line, then that only makes it worse. Because again, his character arc is, as we’ve established, slow. But the fact that it’s slow enough for several other character arcs to transpire (Shoto, Tenya), as well as slow enough to allow “background characters” some significant development and return to relevancy (Eijiro, Hitoshi), I start wanting to stop holding my breath for his arc’s supposedly inevitable conclusion. Now I know you personally consider the suspense a positive, but it’s the opposite for me. I’d chalk it up to impatience, but again, MULTIPLE character arcs have transpired, and a few have been far more believably gradual compared to Katsuki’s.

While it is impressive that Katsuki was willing to pour out his feelings to Izuku, I’d like to argue that it wasn’t as… well, sentimental. Remember that society and Izuku’s peers before UA regarded him as the lowest of the low. The weakest, the most worthless. “The pebble in the path.” Considering that Katsuki lost the Training Exercise AND technically got outsmarted by Izuku, who was considered this until VERY RECENTLY, I’d imagine that’d be one hell of a blow to his ego. It is still significant that he’s willing to talk to Izuku about this, but it’s not exactly because he’s humbling himself. It’s because he’s begrudgingly admitting that he’s not the best, and it’s been well established that he HATES not being the absolute best. And I don’t know about you, but suddenly getting your high expectations crushed after years of nothing but “positive reinforcement” should not be made as big of a deal as it is here. I’m not saying to get over it, because you’ll never get over it, you have to live with it and learn from it, but don’t make it seem like it’s the end of the world and a half like Katsuki did in that scene. Plus, didn’t he essentially reaffirm that he was going to do what he planned to do from the start of his tenure at UA? I mean, good on him for his dedication, but you’d think the guy would want to take a step back and actually try to learn from others if they were so impressive.

Now, the DC Superhero franchise falls in and out from my radar at times, but I don’t think Katsuki and Batman are a good comparison for the point you're trying to make. Yes they both use violence, and yes they’re both intimidating, but for entirely different reasons. Batman uses fear tactics because he finds them efficient; I don’t know what they’re doing with his character nowadays, but from what I can gather in his earlier incarnations, Batman’s not out for blood. Vengeace, sure, but he doesn’t waste time getting there beating the snot out of his enemies. He takes care of them, sends them off, and keeps on trucking. Before they tried making him even more edgy, he didn’t kill and he kept away from firearms because he was well aware of any issues he had. He may not be a goodie two-shoes like most heroes, but he does show definitive empathy in some of his earlier incarnations. Remember, Batman was the kid who lost his parents to injustice. That was his entire reason for taking up the cowl, for becoming more than Bruce Wayne. In the Justice League Unlimited Episode “Epilogue,” he has the option to kill Ace, a teen villain with dangerously growing psychic powers. He doesn’t do that. He takes the seat next to Ace as she begins to die. He offers his support as Ace has to confront the terrifying realization that she is dying. He’s helping another scared kid, because he knows what it’s like.

That’s heroism. That’s Batman.

Katsuki’s motivations and actions aren’t as sympathetic. Him lashing out isn’t for anything strategical; early on in the series and even after his “Start Line,” up until the Endeavor Agency Arc, I believe, Katsuki’s sole motivations are victory and bloodlust. Even if it seems like he’s growing more chivalrous with his resolve, he backslides so many times back into the angry loudmouth trope its hard to want to keep hope, because if he can backslide multiple times before, what’s to stop him from backsliding again? It ruins the suspense for some people. And people are intimidated by Katsuki, but that’s because he’s borderline unhinged. I’d be scared s***less too if a pyrokinetic powerhouse was gunning on me with his eyes glowing like the fires of Hell as he radiated killing intent (an exaggeration, but still). I have yet to see Katsuki use this intimidation “tactic” of his beyond the fact that he appears to be enjoying it, either.

Alright, enough of that, let’s analyze that penultimate question: why hate Katsuki? If you asked me early on, I would say that yes, I don’t like him because he hurts Izuku. But as I’ve continued looking throughout the series, I now say that I don’t like him because, contrary to what he says, virtually everything is handed to him. Most of the time, its people mistaking his battle thirst as chivalrous determination, whether it be against a villain or just a standard opponent. He never tries to make himself any more “likeable,” and while Class 1-A is quick to call him out for this in the USJ Arc, by the Sports Festival they’re all flocking to him, and I have yet to understand any proper reasoning for this. It’s less like Katsuki proving there’s more to him than meets the eye and earning the respect of his peers, and more so that people latch on to the abstract concept of Katsuki’s coolness and strength, and he just begrudgingly tolerates them from there.

I mean, Eijiro was wholeheartedly against Katsuki’s actions during the Battle Trial, yet by the USJ the difference is night and day, and it doesn’t help that he’s interpreting Katsuki’s desire to beat up villains as “faith in his classmates.” Shoto was abused by Endeavor, so the fact that he can’t at least draw some comparisons between Katsuki and his sperm donor is slightly concerning, and while I want to chalk it up to his stunted social skills, I feel like Hori and/or his editors trying to shove in a friendship to increase their overall likeability (especially Katsuki’s) is more likely. Don’t even get me started on the hoops they jump through in the Joint Training Arc. Not even gonna touch that…

Okay, finally made it to the last paragraph. So, here’s something about me you may or may not like: I don’t like people dying, good or bad. Unless their actions are comparable to that of Satan, or at least close, then they shouldn’t get the axe. Why?

Because a dead person can’t change… and a dead person can’t suffer.

Believe me, even though I’ve fallen off the bandwagon a long time ago, I want Katsuki to change for the better. And he can’t do that if he’s dead. The manga’s most recent arc has been hella frustrating because of that, and no spoilers, but the two deaths that did occur did not leave me in high spirits. Hawks, Shigaraki, you both are on thin f***ing ice I swear. So no, lucky for you, I do NOT want to see Katsuki dead just because he happens to be an ass. What I wanna see is proper repercussions that go beyond being a villain hostage and having everyone else’s potential trauma downplayed for the sake of giving Katsuki more sympathy points.

Also, I’m well aware Katsuki’s death would absolutely ruin Izuku. I am also well aware that it is one of the few concrete facts I hate with nearly every fiber of my body. Not because of what it says about Izuku…

...but because I am sick and tired of Katsuki continuing to be the arrogant s*** he is, whether it be his genuine feelings or merely a front. I am sick of the fact that for as smart and aware that someone like him is, he still insists on trying to act like a badass when there is no need or overall expectation to do so. I am sick that he continues to decide to put himself and others in jeopardy, all for the purpose of maintaining his ego. I am sick that he gets all this support, all this help, and yet his development is still worse than a snail’s pace, and the narrative continues to keep letting him off with love taps and leaving him unfairly unprepared for the kill shot.

...maybe Katsuki deserves to get better. But is this really the best way to do it? Really?

Thanks for listening. Hope you got something from all of that.

-Crimson Lion (24 August 2020)

[thankskenpenders]

Yeah, this is the big one. Grab your popcorn

Sally finally gets a moment to talk to Sonic after being ignored all day, and tells him what’s up. With her being put in charge, and Sonic being her royal consort (basically, the guy who’s committed to marrying her someday but isn’t quite her fiance yet), Sally wants Sonic to stop going on away missions and lead Knothole by her side

Look. Let’s set aside all of our preconceived notions about what a Sonic comic should or shouldn’t be. Ignore the fact that we obviously want to see Sonic go on adventures. Forget it. Let’s look at it from Sally’s perspective for a second

Yes, this is the post in which I explain that “The Slap” isn’t that bad. It’s certainly not great, but it’s not The Worst Thing Ever like it’s been made out to be. I wish I didn’t have to spend my evening writing this, but 15 years of hyperbolic fan outrage (note: some Wikia rando added that “reception” section this year) have forced my hand

First of all, again, Sonic is formally committed to marrying her and ruling alongside her someday. This was established ten issues ago. He was already committed to this. Then, Sonic went and died. Sally still spent an entire year of her life thinking her basically-fiance was dead, and had to deal with shit in Knothole without him as things continued to get worse and worse. No one can just bounce back from that unscathed. After his return, she WANTED to help Sonic and go be a Freedom Fighter on the last mission, but her parents forbade her and the royal guards kept her in the castle. (That SUCKS, but is a whole ‘nother conversation.) She wants to fight by his side and keep him safe, but her parents are forcing her to stay home and be the princess, which only makes her more distraught. Last issue, she broke down into tears when she saw Sonic get shot by M over Eggman’s video feed, and her mother had to console her and reassure her Sonic wasn’t dead

Sally very clearly has PTSD over Sonic’s “death” a year ago. She doesn’t want to lose him again. She’s outright said as much

And also... when she says Sonic isn’t the only hero around, she’s got a point?Sonic barely did anything in the last arc! Tails was the one who outsmarted ADAM. Shadow dealt with Eggman. Bunnie did most of the damage to M and took out an entire fucking aircraft carrier on her own. Knuckles, the Chaotix, Rouge, and Amy took out the robot horde. All Sonic did was land the final attack on M--which, honestly, someone else could’ve done. And he got his arm injured in the process

Add on to this all of the chaos of the last few days. Sally’s barely had a free moment to see Sonic since she found out he was alive. They nearly got nuked by Eggman. They’re being harangued by the paparazzi. It sucks. And hell, it goes back WAY further than this! She spent years as a kid trying to save her parents, and now all they do is belittle her. She found out she had a secret older brother, and then her parents decided he was the more important child. She went through all sorts of relationship drama. She nearly died a few times herself. And now, her parents have decided to leave her in charge of their whole kingdom at a time of war, while she’s still a mess from the trauma of losing Sonic. The idea Bollers had was apparently that Sally had been bottling up her issues for years (which she totally had been), and this was just the breaking point

I know Sonic’s desire to keep being a hero is understandable. I know he’s right. That’s all he really knows how to do, and he feels useless in times of peace. And obviously, we the readers want to see Sonic go on adventures. But Sally’s concerns are valid. We don’t have to agree with her plan to have Sonic rule by her side for her emotions to be understandable

Sally’s been on the verge of a breakdown for who knows how long. She should be mad at her parents, but they’ve worn her down to the point where she thinks she’s unable to confront them. (It would be very, very easy to make a case arguing that Sally’s parents are emotionally abusive. Max especially.) She thinks that Sonic is the one person who will listen to her and have her back. They’re betrothed, after all. This is literally what he signed up for. After trying to get his attention ALL DAY, she finally gets a chance to talk to him. But he wants other things in life, and refuses. In front of a crowd, no less

So she lashes out at Sonic and slaps him

Then they both start yelling at each other and crying. Sally asks Sonic if she’s more important to him than fighting Eggman, Sonic can’t answer, and Sally runs away in tears. For all intents and purposes, Sonic and Sally are now broken up. (For now.)

Should Sally be lashing out at Sonic? No. Could this scene be done better? Oh, absolutely. This is not the direction I would want Sally to go in as a character, and if you ARE gonna have them fight, this wasn’t written with the care required to make fans sympathize with both parties. The fact that we’ve seen everything from Sonic’s perspective with barely any insight into Sally’s certainly doesn’t help. But as the several lengthy paragraphs above explain, this does not come out of nowhere. It’s easy to find lots of fans online calling Sally all sorts of names (sometimes very misogynistic or ableist ones) because they think she just flipped out on Sonic out of nowhere. But she didn’t. Sally having some sort of breakdown had been foreshadowed for several issues, and the reasons why make sense. No, she shouldn’t have lashed out at Sonic, but this isn’t just her going “Oh no, my period! Let’s nuke England!” as so many have made it out to be. (And hell, the comics already had a lengthy history of treating Sally even worse than this, with Gallagher making her the nagging girlfriend who bickered with Sonic all the time and Penders sympathizing more with her shitty dad.)

Again, this was supposed to be a turning point in which Sally bottling up all this crap and carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders finally leads to her breaking. It’s a dramatic low point to build back up from. The problem is that Bollers left the series only a few issues later, and Penders and “Chacon” never did much with this. So in hindsight, many view this as her randomly snapping “for no reason,” because the followup stories that would have explored how she’d been bottling up her feelings were never actually written. But it’s not hard to figure out what’s supposed to be going on in her head if you actually go back and look at the preceding Sally scenes

For the most part, this is just run of the mill relationship drama for Archie Sonic. You see this kind of shit all the time in serialized media. Characters date, but the writers need to keep things ~spicy~, so they break up, see other people... then inevitably end up back together, and the process repeats ad nauseum. You ever watch Scrubs? You know how JD and Elliot are obviously love interests from episode one, but they had to do that will they/won’t they shit for years and have flings with other characters to keep up ratings? Yeah, it’s just that. For Sonic, there’s also the added pressure from Sega, who never allowed Sonic to be in any stable relationship for very long. Several writers have talked about how this limited what they could do with Sonic and Sally. Do I like that this cycle of drama is the norm? No. But after over 200 of these comics, I’m used to it

(And hell, at this point in the comics, they had literally just broken up Bunnie and Antoine, and Rouge was starting to get in the way of Knuckles and Julie-Su’s relationship. Between Julie-Su and Knuckles’ first kiss and them actually dating, Penders had Julie-Su get mad at Knuckles and go out with some random other guy. They do this shit all the time)

The worst you can really say about this scene is that Jon’s art is a little too goofy and undermines the drama a bit. In his own words from his website’s FAQ: “I’m sorry. Like I said, I was an overeager noob and I drew what I was given.” But really, he had been drawing these sorts of exaggerated, frantic expressions throughout the entire issue. Not just with Sally. Look at all the panels of Sonic wigging out in the previous pages. I still think his work is fantastic. If anything, it was a bad call on Archie’s part to give this somber scene to a brand new artist with a very exaggerated, silly art style. He just drew what was in the script

You know what really blows about this whole thing, though? Jon Gray is still, to this day, over 15 years later, getting harassed for drawing The Slap

That is so utterly ridiculous and shitty. People have made up all sorts of conspiracy theories about the slap, saying that Jon had some sort of “anti-Sally agenda” and that it wasn’t in the script. (This is completely false.) People are so stuck in the past and bent out of shape over this one panel in a pretty run-of-the-mill Archie Sonic issue that Jon has to block people who come into his Twitter mentions accusing him of “sabotaging” the series on a regular basis. Y’all, Jon’s a good guy, and he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that

And lord. There’s so much nastier shit within this series. Penders hooking a 15-year-old Sally up with a dude in his 20s (and later saying that he wanted her to lose his virginity to said dude). Gallagher making Barby Koala have a creepy crush on Tails. Penders rephrasing a poem about the Holocaust to be about hedgehogs. Penders having Sally rationalize her dad’s attempt at genocide. (I could go on and on with Penders, can you tell)

This whole thing is just, so blown out of proportion. It’s not a great scene, but it didn’t “ruin” Sally’s character. Neither Jon nor Bollers had some sort of “anti-Sally agenda.” They weren’t out to ruin your fucking ship. And for god’s sake, quit yelling at them about it. This was 15 years ago and all parties involved have moved on. It’s just more melodrama in a series that’s always 90% melodrama

It’s a single panel in a comic about Sonic the Hedgehog. Can we move on

[saikostories]

Nanbaka - The Peculiar Guard pt3

“Any pain?”

“No…”

“Can you move your hands?”

“Yes…”

“Your recovery is as quick as always.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

Theodora bowed to the doctor in respect for all he’s done. However it was all the same. Once again she couldn’t feel anything. The numbness was back. Samon had came in the next day and asked about her condition. After some final testing, the doctor let her go. Now out of the hospital gown, she was now wearing just casual attire. An oversized black sleeved shirt, black skinny jeans, and black riding boots. Her hair hadn’t been brushed, causing it to be fluffy at the top and hang a little over her eyes.

To her she felt the most comfiest like this. She wasn’t having to hide herself anymore.

It’s the whole reason why Samon had to come. The Warden wanted to talk to her. She knew all too well. It was actually making her nervous and anxious to go. Theodora prepared herself for the deja vu of ‘you’re fired!’ in big bold letters with a stamp on her head. It was the inevitable to be honest. She just wished it wasn’t this way, or so soon.

“…I’m gonna be fired, huh?” Theodora muttered to Samon, keeping pace with him.

“I… can’t answer that…” Samon said quietly.

“Yep. I’m fired…” Theodora said like it was a confirmed statement.

“Hey, it might not happen.” Samon quickly intervene her negative thinking. “Maybe she will—”

“Samon.” Theodora cut him off, looking at him directly in the eye. “You know as well as anybody that my restrictions were as clear as daylight. No one must find out of my true gender. I must listen to the orders of my Supervisors at all times. My mask shall be worn 24/7, unless my Supervisors themselves take it off. Technically, I’ve broke each one of those rules once or twice already… She has every right to fire me.”

Samon hummed softly, unable to counter her claim. He could only sigh and put his hand on her head and ruffle her hair.

“Have some faith, will ya?” Samon grumbled. “You always tell people to be happy. Take your own damn advice for once, damnit. Even if you’re not in the same building with me, it’s still better having you around than anything else…”

Theodora just stared at Samon for a moment before smiling softly. “Good to know you haven’t changed a bit either…”

“Is that a good or bad thing?” Samon asked, looking almost defended.

“Who’s to say~”

“Oh, so now you go back to normal!”

“Heheh…!”

After some friendly jabs here and there, the two found themselves not too far from the Warden’s office. Samon lead her through the area and right to Head Quarters. Once they got to the room before the Warden’s office, Theodora spotted familiar faces. When she entered the room she noticed how it got really quiet. And she hated it.

Samon noticed this almost instantly. He ushered her forwards to the much dreaded Warden’s office. The Supervisor knocked on the door and waited for his call to be received. Hearing her voice, Samon opened the doors and gestured Theodora forwards. Very reluctantly, Theodora stepped forwards and walked in side until she was standing in front of the Warden’s desk. She held her sharp gaze, dreading the conversation itself.

“Good morning, Nicci. How is your body doing?” Asked the Warden, probably to get her relaxed and calm.

“I’m fine, ma'am…” Softly said Theodora. “The doctor told me I can do normal things besides stay soaking in water. Other than that, I can do whatever…”

“That’s good to hear.” Said the Warden. Her gaze sharpen, as if that was even possible, showing that she was now serious. “…You understand exactly why you’re here, yes?”

“Yes, ma'am…” Theodora nodded.

“Let’s go over it, shall we?” Spoke the Warden as she flipped open a file on her desk. “I gave you strict guidelines for you to follow. You were to do follow the orders of your Supervisors, not enter or access any high ranking areas, behave yourself as a good guard, wear the mask given to you 24/7 unless told so, and you were supposed to hide your gender from any and all inmates. You’ve broken about half of these rules within the few weeks of being here. Am I wrong?”

“No, ma'am…” Theodora said honestly.

“I gave you those rules to follow and yet you broke them.” Spoke the Warden with a bit of a growl at the end. “I would’ve just let this go, but in the end your identity as a female was revealed, especially to the inmates. That was our number one guideline that you had to follow. I understand that it was because of those burns and cuts, but you still got found out…”

Theodora kept her head down, her lips pressed tightly together, as she couldn’t deny the woman.

“I know it may seem unfair to you, but you must understand my position.” Stated the Warden. “Not only is it my job to keep this prison safe and running, but I can’t allow a woman working here as a guard. Maybe I can put you into a different job section, like the malls or even the lab research. But… I can’t allow you to be a guard anymore…”

“…!” Theodora’s body was very tense as her face contorted in pain, trying not to cry.

“Miss Warden, please, are you sure there’s nothing we can do?!” Samon suddenly exclaimed, shocking both women. “Theodora is a great kid. She works hard, she gets along with her coworkers, and the inmates even enjoy her. Hell, that chief at Building 13 had been asking about her yesterday in concern at the feast! You can’t fire her!”

“Are you saying that with assertion, or are you saying that because your emotions?” Asked the Warden, her hard gaze causing Samon to falter for a moment.

“E-everyone knows how she’s beneficial…” Samon said and was now standing next to Theodora. “She was able to stop No.15 from going berserk. If Hajime hadn’t beaten that kid half to death, Theodora would’ve gotten the kid to calm down and stop his rampage! We shouldn’t let her go just because of her gender!”

“So you want to have her stay and put her at a risk instead?” Harshly spoke the Warden before Samon could say anything else. He stopped, flinching at her tone. “There is a reason why we have Nanba, then the Nanba Women’s Prison. We cannot risk Theodora to be a guard here as a woman because any of the prisoners might lash out and assault her. I will not allow her to be placed on the line like that, and I know you wouldn’t want that either. This is a prison, not a playhouse. Theodora will pack her things and will be taken back to America.”

“T-then at least—”

“Samon, stop.” Theodora interrupted him, stopping him from causing more trouble. “You know better than anyone to question the Warden’s actions. She’s made her decision…”

“But where will you go?!” Samon asked her, his voice rising in anger. “You said it yourself that you don’t have anywhere else to go!”

“Samon,” Theodora grabbed both of his shoulders and forced him to look her in the eye. She smiled at him and spoke calmly. “Calm down… It’s sweet of you to try and allow me to stay, but we have to listen to the Warden. Her word is practically law here. I’m grateful for all of the wonderful things you’ve done for me, as well as everybody here. So, thank you for everything, and please just listen to the Warden…”

Samon stared at her for a moment, clearly hurt by this. His eyes darted all over her face, trying to find some sort of sign that she was just joking. But, as Theodora is in these situations, it’s clear she wasn’t. He could only tilt his head down, trying not to look at her again. Theodora could only try to stay together before turning to the Warden and bowed to her in thanks and respect.

“Thank you for everything, ma'am…” Theodora said calmly, still holding a smile on her face. “I am grateful for the risk you took with me and allowed me to be here. Just… may I ask one thing?”

“What is it?” Momoko raised a brow at her as Theodora stood up straight.

“It’s about… Inmates No.15 and No.634…” Theodora said softly. “After the interrogations once everything is clear up, please just… take care of them.”

“What do you mean?” Asked the Warden, her eyebrows raising slightly in surprise.

“This is just what I understand from their conversations…” Theodora said. “So, I may be wrong, or possibly right. But, from how I heard it, it’s clear that those two know each other. Musashi, No.634, provoked Jyugo, No.15, in order to gain some sort of information. He wanted Jyugo to go into a rage and reveal himself as a 'monster’ to everyone. I don’t know why he did that… Why he so strongly focused on Jyugo. But, from what I heard through bits and pieces, the main reason is for those shackles on Jyugo’s neck, wrists, and ankles. I think… I think that’s how Jyugo’s body could morph into blades…”

“The shackles, hm…?” The Warden leaned towards her and rested her lips against her hands. “Tell me, what else do you believe that happened?”

“Well…” Theodora thought for a moment. “Jyugo is kind of tricky to read, but it’s not hard for him to get along with someone. But… I never thought he had the capability to attack somebody. Clearly I heard Musashi spoke to him, and… Apparently, Jyugo took out Musashi’s eyes with those blades. This was in the past when they were cellmates, though… There’s that bit of a motive, but… I think he’s more or less after Jyugo’s shackles. I don’t know why, but, he wants them… Thing is, I don’t think it’s for good. Sorry I can’t be of much use…”

“I see…” Muttered the Warden. “Thank you for sharing that with me. Is there anything else you would like to say?”

“…Well, I never really did ask what I wanted…” Theodora looked her dead in the eye. “Please allow me to talk with the inmates of Cell 13 before I go. I want to make sure they’re alright… They have a right to know about my situation…”

“Why would you ask for that of all things?” Questioned the Warden. Even Samon looked curious.

“Those guys don’t trust just anybody, you know.” Theodora said as if it was obvious. “I know they have questions, and I know they’ll want answers… If you just kick me out of here without telling them a single thing, you’ll never gain their trust ever again. They can help Jyugo with his problems—I know they can. He’s just this troubled kid with this fucked up ability that we don’t even know anything about. But, if you lose their trust, they won’t ever tell a soul about the information they know. There’s a reason why they’re in Building 13… And I know they trust me… But I need your own trust, Ms. Hyakushiki, to talk to them and explain everything to them… They need trust, and I can provide it…”

The Warden held her gaze, silence taking over the room. Theodora was dead serious about it. It was clear from the expression she held. Samon could only stare at her in surprise at her sudden change in demeanor. 'Her eyes… They’ve got sparks in them again… Did she already bond with those guys so soon?’

"You do realize the risk of what you’re asking for, right?” The Warden asked her.

“Those boys wouldn’t dare lay a finger on me.” Theodora stated, as if offended by what the Warden was getting at. “Plus, they know quite well that I can knock them out in a matter of seconds if I have to. Yes, they’ve done some fucked up things in the past, but they’re still human. They’re good kids. But of course, officers like yourself find that hard to believe, am I right…?”

“Theodora, don’t anger the Warden…!” Samon hissed at her.

The Warden and Theodora had their eyes locked onto each other, neither of them faltering. After a long staring contest between the two, the Warden sighed loudly.

“…Fine.” She said. “But if anything happens, you’ll be responsible for it. But that won’t change the fact that you have to leave by the end of today.”

“I understand, ma'am.” Theodora nodded before bowing to her. “Thank you!”

“That’ll be all…” Muttered the Warden before spinning around in her chair so the back was facing them. “You’re officially fired from here on out, Theodora Nicci.”

“…Yes, ma'am.” Theodora said softly.

The Silverette turned around on the heels of her feet and rushed out of the room. Once she was out of the Warden’s office she paid no attention to the Supervisors in the room. She ran out of the room, wanting to get to Building 13 as soon as possible. The Supervisors in the room could only sigh, believing she was in an emotional state and ran off. When Samon exited the Warden’s office, they went to him for questions.

“It appears that she took the news harshly…” Muttered Kiji. “To be frank, I don’t blame her in the slightest…”

“Yeah, but it’s a little sad don’t chya think?” Mitsuru spoke up in his usually loud voice. “She looked forward to this job, but she ended up getting fired for being a woman. I just find that unfair.”

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” Samon inquired, looking almost insulted at their words. “Theodora understands perfectly well for why she was fired. Hell, she was prepared for it and had to calm me down. Plus, she was fired for breaking her guidelines and for becoming found out. You make it sound like she’s a fragile human being who just lost her mom.”

“But why did she run out of the room like she did?” Asked Kenshirou.

“She’s going back to Building 13 and talking with the inmates in Cell 13.” Samon stated with a sigh. “She convinced the Warden to let her talk to them. She wants to let them know of her circumstances and let them know about why it has to be this way. I can tell she’s doing it because she doesn’t want them to feel like she betrayed them or something… She’s always been like that…”

“So she’s not upset about being fired?” Asked Kiji, looking clearly surprised.

“Of course she’s upset.” Hajime spoke up, causing everyone to look at him. “She wanted nothing more than this job. Even I can see that. If she had a choice, she would probably stay here forever. She just trust those brats so damn much that she wants to give them a proper farewell, right?”

“Basically. And the fact that she has nowhere to go. She can’t get a job because she was an inmate… This was her lifeline.” Samon muttered. He couldn’t lie he was worried. Sure she could go back to her mothers but could she stay there forever? Knowing Theodora Samon had no doubt that her pride wouldn’t let her.

“ the poor girl…” Kiji spoke up, with an equally worried look.

“Talking about Theodora… she really hates your guts you know Hajime.” Samon said bitterly.

"What? Why?” Hajime looked at him, almost as if he was surprised.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'WHY’?!” Samon shouted at him. “YOU BEAT NO.15 RIGHT OUT OF HER HANDS WHEN SHE CLEARLY HAD HIM UNDER CONTROL! IF SHE DIDN’T SCREAM AT YOU TO GET OFF OF HIM THEN YOU PROBABLY WOULD’VE KILLED THE KID! SHE’S FUCKING PISSED, BUT DOESN’T SHOW IT!”

Hajime felt his eye twitched, knowing quite well that he was going to get lectured like a child. “I didn’t hit him that hard… I only used my fists…”

“Yeah well you could have used a rebound club”

‘Oh brother…’ Hajime thought. How he was going to fix this he really didn’t know.

***

'Cell 13, Cell 13…’

Theodora was running all over the halls.

As soon as she got off of the monorails she ran through Building 13. She didn’t want to waste another minute of not being able to talk to the guys. She strongly felt that they deserved to know everything that’s happened. They did see she was a woman after all. It only made sense to her. So, she proceeded running.

Weaving through the halls, she eventually made it to their cell. She was breathing softly through her mouth, trying to catch her breath as she stared at the sign. Cell 13. She could sense sudden nervousness in her stomach, but she knew this was right. Taking a step forwards, she knocked on the door and made sure her face could be seen through the bars.

“What? If it’s Hajime then forge—” Uno stood up, only to abruptly stop at the sight of a woman standing at the bars.

“What is it?” Rock asked, causing him and Nico to look over and repeat the same actions as Uno.

“Ahem… Um…” Theodora found herself picking at her helm of her shirt sleeves. “…Hey, guys… It’s Theo… Could I come in…?”

“Y-y-yeah, s-s-sure, totally!” Exclaimed Uno as his face turned beat red.

Theodora looked down the halls and made sure nobody was there. She then opened the door, since she had the keys still in her pockets, and entered the cell quickly. She closed it behind herself, not wanting to raise an alarm to Seitarou or Yamato. She backed away from the door before facing the group. They all just stared at her as if she was an alien species. It honestly didn’t make her feel any better and gave her deja vu moments…

“Can we… sit down and talk…?” She asked.

Not even a second later did they accept. She had been startled by their sudden response, but had calmed down quickly. Knowing she was restricted onto a time limit, she wanted to make sure she answered any and all of their questions. They all sat at a table. The three boys sat on one side while she sat on the other, facing them as an uncomfortable silence took over. Theodora knew they weren’t used to woman but this was on a whole new level of awkwardness…

“Soooo…” Rock spoke up, but trailed off as soon as he did so.

“You’re a…” Uno trailed off, his eyes darting everywhere but her.

“…A girl, right?” Nico finished the sentence.

“Yes, I am…” Theodora answered.

“It’s so weird to see you like this when we thought you were male…” Rock said honestly, scratching the back of his head. It actually caused her to smile slightly.

“I get that a lot…” She replied.

“So, we’re you here?” Nico asked, smiling as brightly as ever. “Did you take time off or something?”

Theodora’s face darkened and she frowned. “About that… I came here because… Because you all deserve answers. And, I have to do that now because I got fired from my job…”

“What?” Rock questioned, his eyes shooting wide open.

“Wait, you got fired?” Uno questioned, looking very shocked and possibly enraged.

“Let me explain, okay…?” She said softly, which appeared to calm everyone’s nerves. Taking a deep breath, she spoke. “As you all know, I have a criminal record. I first became an inmate at age 12 and at age 14 I had gotten thrown in Nanba Prison. I was released after 4 years and have been scouring for jobs ever since. You can’t gain money without work, after all. But, as all businesses would have it, they wanted nothing to do with me. Eventually I got a few jobs and began making money, but… it wasn’t enough. I became desperate, so I sent a request specifically to the Warden.”

“A request?” Questioned Nico.

“Yeah, for a job here…” Theodora said and continued. “She read my request and my resume and brought me here. After a lot of talking, she eventually gave me the job. But, on very strict conditions. I had to wear that black mask unless the Supervisors took it off of me, since the mask would only react to their finger prints. If the mask was harmed in the slightest, as if I were to try and take it off, the hooks around my ears would pierce right through my ears as punishment. I was restricted into high ranking areas and I couldn’t go anywhere without the Supervisor knowing. On top of it all, I had to disguise myself as a man instead of a woman if I wanted to become a guard here…”

“But, why go through so many lengths to be a guard of all things?” Rock asked.

“I was desperate…” Theodora admitted. “After I got out of prison I had been living with my family until I figured out what to do with myself. I was giving online classes to finish my education because I was thrown into prison for so long… I tried looking for jobs so I could live on my own, but everyone turned me down. Nobody wanted to associate themselves with a criminal. That’s just how the world goes…”

“But why did you dress up as a male guard?” Nico asked. “Couldn’t you have stayed as a woman, though?”

“Absolutely not.” Theodora shook her head at him. “If any of the male inmates found out, I would have been in major trouble. You have to understand, hardly any of these inmates have seen a woman for years. To have one in the prison as a guard, a person who interacts with them everyday, they wouldn’t hesitate to go after me… Whether it be for sexual or violent purposes, it was just too risky… So, the Warden instructed me to be a male inmate.”

“Hold on just a second!” Uno exclaimed, looking very puzzled. “You said you were an inmate in Nanba Prison for four years, right? How the hell did you stay as a prisoner if you were a woman this entire time?”

“Well, the guards didn’t even know I was a woman at first…” Theodora said and scratched the side of her cheek in an embarrassed manner. “Because of my body structure at the time, they just assumed I was male. They had no idea I was female until I was requested for a physical examine by the doctor a week after I was put there. That was when they found out…”

“How the hell did they mistake a woman for a man?” Rock asked, almost looking pissed.

“Well…” Theodora stared at her lap and uncomfortably shifted in place. “…I crossdressed as one all the time. I… even took a few hormone pills to try and change my gender…”

“Wait… What.” Uno murmured.

The three could only stare at her in bewilderment. Theodora sighed, not really wanting to explain that part of her history, but knew that she had to. 'I’m already this deep into it, so what the hell.’

“Ever since I was born… I was different.” Theodora stated. “Being diagnosed with HSAN and all, it was hard. Pills were a regular thing at home, and nobody really liked me. It’s ironic how so many people in prisons enjoy me, but never the outside world, eh? Hehe… Kind of pathetic. Anyway, getting back on track, remember that dark point I kept telling you guys about? How I kept mentioning it?”

The three nodded their heads in unison.

“Well… Part of that dark point was that I never liked myself…” Theodora admitted in a heavy manner. “I had a lot of mental and emotional pain, unable to make friends and had to rely on my family… But my family wasn’t enough… I began sneaking out of the house frequently and did some bad things… One of them involved me taking so hormone pills off of the street. I always had this grudge against myself for being a female I always hated the restrictions girls had compared to men. So, the more older and I got, the more of a man I wanted to be. If I could take back those moments, take back the pills and the running away, I would…”

“Why? What happened?” Nico asked innocently.

“I was an idiotic fool for trusting pills off of the street.” Theodora stated bluntly, clearly annoyed with herself as she told the story. “I was so stuck on wanting to be a man that I ended up fucking myself over. I followed a man I shouldn’t have. Theft, GBH, all of that I did because I was angry. People were living a life I wanted but couldn’t have. As strange as it sounds, I’m grateful for being thrown into Nanba Prison… They got me help when everybody thought I was hopeless in saving. The Doctor here helped give me the proper pills to regain my femininity and help me out of that dark state I was constantly in. Samon, the Supervisor of Building 5, was a big help in that, and I’m forever grateful for him… All the guards kept my gender a secret to everybody else, and hardly any inmates knew. Those who did kept quiet for my safety.”

“Wow, never thought prison guards could be so civil…” Grumbled Uno.

“Not all of them are bad…” Theodora smiled at him. “It’s just how you hold your perspective to them… But, I’m not hear the lecture about that… Anymore questions you guys have?”

“I do! I do!” Nico said and raised his hand in the air. “How come you’re so strong?”

“That's… honestly something we don’t know…” Theodora admitted. “I’m just freakishly strong. In the end my family and doctors just believed it was because of my inability to feel pain, causing myself to not really know how to control my anger. But, my father knew how to teach me, so he did his best to teach me how to hold back and all.”

“Alright, now I’ve got a question.” Uno spoke up and pointed at her. “Is your name really Theo? I mean, being a girl and all…"

“Yep.” Theodora nodded her head. “My name is actually TheodorA. But my last name was kept since I didn’t want to change it. Plus, if there was prisoners still here that knew me, I wanted them to realize it was me, just like I had with Shiro!.”

“Huh. So it’s easier to remember since there’s practically no change… That’s boring! You could have gone with something so cool! Like Roberto or Something.” Muttered Uno.

“And Uno’s any better?” Theodora raised a brow at him while smiling in amusement.

“S-shut up…!” Uno stuttered as his face immediately grew red.

“I like Theodora better than Theo.” Nico said and smiled at her. “It sounds nice! By the way, how many siblings do you have?”

“Three. I’m the oldest.” Theodora answered. “Two brothers, both twins, and one sister. They still live with my family.”

“If I do my math right… Does that mean you’re 20?” Uno asked.

“Yep. Almost 21” Theodora nodded.

“You’re older than me…!” Exclaimed Uno, somehow looking heartbroken and shocked.

“Of course I’m older than you. Technically, I’m not legally to be allowed to become a guard…” Theodora said softly. “You have to be at least 21, but the Warden let that slide. I’m actually surprised she didn’t use that against me, too…”

“Wait, if you’re leaving today that means…” Rock looked down at the table in a sad manner. “You can’t even say goodbye to Jyugo…”

The light atmosphere quickly became heavy. Everyone was looking down now, clearly feeling the heaviness of concern for Jyugo. Theodora was as stiff as ever, clearly upset by that fact. He was right. She couldn’t even say goodbye to Jyugo…

“Do you… Do you know if he’s alright…?” Uno asked her after gulping down the lump in his throat.

“…I wish I did…” Theodora replied softly, her eyes becoming hollow again. “Being the rank that I am, or… was… I have no authorization in knowing. All I really know is that he’s in critical condition and being kept in the underground cells… But, of course, no visitors are allowed… Not even I can get down there…”

“So, there’s nothing we can do for him, huh…?” Nico asked quietly.

“No… No, there is…” Theodora said firmly and gazed up at the three. “My deadline is today. I have to collect my belongings and go back to America. But, you three will be here for him. I need you to do me this big favor. Jyugo may or may not come back to Cell 13 because of the actions he had taken at the Tournament. Either way, I know you guys can get through to him. He’s not some monster that we have to hide from. He’s just a troubled kid who needs all the help he can get… And I know you three are the help he deserves… Can I trust you? To watch out for him, and keep him in line from using those weapons like he did?…”

“Do you even need to ask that?” Uno said and began smirking. “We know Jyugo better than anybody. Yeah, even we don’t know much about him, but like you said. He’s just a snot-nosed, bratty kid who needs all the help he can get. You just leave him to us, 'kay?”

Theodora stared at him for a moment before smiling at him. 'I knew I can rely on you guys… I know you can help him. I just know it…’

“But… do you really have to go…?” Nico asked softly, still looking upset.

“Yes, I do…” Theodora said and smiled sadly at the table. “The Warden’s words are basically law here. My deadline is the end of today. But, I know I need to be quicker than that. I… really should get going… before anybody else gets in trouble…”

“Grrr…” Uno fumed in his seat before slamming his fist on the table. “It’s not fair! If anybody should be fired it should be that damn demon Hajime! Why does it gotta be you…!? If anything you were the only one saving Jyugo’s ass! What the hell!”

“I know…” Theodora said, her tone cold and dark. This caused the boys to be silent and listen. “I know it’s unfair. I want nothing more than to stay here. I want to joke around, tell deep stories, rile the Supervisors up into fighting with me and just goofing around. But… that’s not how it is…”

“Aren’t you mad, though?” Rock asked her.

“Of course I am…!” She said shakily. “I’m sad that I have to leave… I’m sad I can’t tell Jyugo the things he should hear and hopefully make him understand… I’m angry at the Warden for not letting me stay because I am a woman. I’m angry that people don’t understand that many people here are just misunderstood and need help. But… most of all…” Her voice got deeper as her fist were tightly clenched, actually straining the bandages on her hands. “…I’m pissed at Hajime Sugoroku for practically putting Jyugo on his deathbed… Heartless bastard…”

Theodora practically sat there, fuming in her seat as her own body was shaking with rage. It actually caused the three before her to break out into a nervous sweat. But, they all could empathize with her, knowing exactly how she feels in different amounts. Just as fast as she had gotten angry, Theodora took a deep breath and calmed herself down. She relaxed and looked at the three with a hollow gaze.

“…I have to get going…” She said softly. “My ride to America is a long one… I have to contact my family and all. I’m sorry I couldn’t talk more to you all. None of you deserve this shit…”

“It’s not your fault.” Rock said calmly. “As harsh as it is, we understand where you’re coming from.”

“Yeah, thanks for visiting us!” Nico said cheerfully. “We’re really glad that you got to tell us your story!”

“And… Could you try and visit us sometime…?” Uno requested in almost a quiet manner. “We ain’t leavin’ this place anytime soon, so… yeah…”

“I wouldn’t mind visiting…” Theodora smiled warmly at them. She stood up slowly and bowed to them. “I thank you for listening.” She straightened. “…I put all of my faith in you. Tell Jyugo I’m sorry I couldn’t talk to him properly before going… I wanted to speak to him one more time before going…”

“Yeah, we’ll tell him…” Uno nodded to her.

“Thank you…” She said softly and turned towards the door. She stopped and looked at them again. “Just remember this for me, okay? Nobody’s born evil; it’s all in the perspective of the person who sees what’s wrong or right. Everybody deserves a second chance… Even a bunch of hopeless misfits like us. You all take care, okay?”

“You take care yourself.” Uno said and waved to her.

“Hit the best restaurant for me.” Rock said and waved.

“Bye-bye, Theodora!” Nico exclaimed and waved frantically.

Theodora giggled at them and waved lightly. “Goodbye…”

Opening the door, she stepped out of the cell and closed it behind her. She walked a few paces away before slapping her hands over her mouth, stopping to lean against the wall. Tears overflowed again and ran down her face and through her hands. She tried hard to stop it, or to at least muffle any type of sound from coming out. She had no idea why such an amount of tears were flowing from her eyes so quickly in such large amounts.

She just didn’t understand…

…But at the same time, she did.

***

“Here, this was all I could find…”

“Thank you, Seitarou.”

“Do you need help carrying anything?”

“Thank you, but no thank you, Yamato.”

The two men could only watch as Theodora packed a very small cardboard box. It was mostly of clothes, but there was a few items like photos or even a pin. She even packed the mask she was restricted in for memory purposes. She made sure to be constantly aware of it and keep it hidden from others just for safety precautions. She placed the last item in before putting the lid over the box. She turned to the two men and bowed to them in respect.

“Thank you again for everything. I am grateful for your compassion.” She said.

“There’s no need for that!” Seitarou said and had her straighten up. “We were just doing our jobs and being ourselves, after all. Even if you acted as a guy, you were still yourself through and through. It was nice having you around…”

“Mm…” Theodora averted her eyes for a moment, trying not to be sad anymore.

“You could always have a different job here, you know.” Yamato informed her. “I’m sure if you talked with the Warden she would allow for your stay!”

“It’s a nice thought, but I highly doubt it.” Theodora said softly. “I’d just be trouble and to be honest I want to be able to talk to the inmates, the guards… I don’t want to go back to being a lab rat. Even if I’m the one doing the testing.”

“You never told us what happened to land you in jail in the first place… you were only twelve weren’t you?” Seitarou asked. Theodora smiled weakly and nodded.

“Maybe you could visit sometime?” Seitarou suggested. “I’m sure plenty of inmates and guards wouldn’t mind that.”

“True…” Theodora nodded and smiled. 'But it would cost me a fortune to travel to Japan…’

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Yamato asked her in clear concern. “We could always give you some money on hand if you need it.”

“No, no! I couldn’t!” Theodora rapidly waved her hands and shook her head. “Please, don’t! Keep your money and save it. I’m covered from the paycheck from this week. I’ll get by…”

“Take care, okay?” Seitarou said. “I’m sure you’ll find a job soon. With your personality and determination, anybody’s bound to hire you!”

'You forget the fact of my criminal record…’ Thought Theodora silently.

“Train hard! You’ll need those muscles in top shape to be ready for anything!” Yamato said and began flexing his own arms to emphasize his point.

Theodora let out an honest laugh and smiled at the two. “Thank you, again. I’m seriously grateful for your hospitality here…”

“You’re always welcomed to visit.” Seitarou said before leaning in and whispering to her. “Even though it’s against protocol, I’ll let you in and visit the inmates in their cells if you want.”

“S-seriously…?” She looked at him in shock. “You would really do that…?”

“Of course! You may have been an inmate in the past, but you will always be one of us!” Exclaimed Yamato with a cheerful laugh. “Nothing can change that, ha ha ha!”

“Guys…” Theodora covered her face with her hands. “You guys are making me want to cry…!”

“A-ah, please don’t! Did we say something offensive…!?” Seitarou panicked.

“N-no, no!” Theodora sniffled loudly and recollected herself. “I’m just… really thankful, is all…”

“Take care of yourself now!” Yamato said and lifted her box to her. “We’ll be waiting to see you again soon, I hope!”

“I-I’ll try…” Theodora smiled and took the box from him. “I can’t thank you enough…”

“It was nothing, seriously.” Seitarou said and waved his hand. “Have a safe trip back home, okay?”

Theodora nodded curtly to him, still smiling warmly. “Goodbye…”

“Goodbye, Ms. Nicci!” Saluted Yamato.

“Good luck!” Waved Seitarou.

Theodora waved softly at them before turning and exiting into the hall. She closed the door behind her and sighed heavily. It’s just been an emotional two days, that’s for sure. Pushing herself off of the door, she stared at the boxes in her hands and sighed again. It was really hard to let this place go considering she had plenty of good and bad memories here. But, she was grateful for them all.

Taking in a deep breath, she pushed herself off of the door and began walking down the hallway. She stood tall and had her chest slightly puffed out, trying to remain confident and strong. Even though it was a short time being a guard, she was happy for every minute she had of it.

Thinking through the memories, she couldn’t help but giggle at the fun ones. She remembered when coo the Guard Cat had accidentally walked against Seitarou’s leg and scared him so bad he fell out of his chair. Or when Yamato had bursted into the room and demanded group workouts, causing Seitarou and her to run away and hide from him until Hajime came. Or when Jyugo snuck out of his cell again and she witness him draw on Hajime’s sleeping face, but had said nothing and acted like she hadn’t witnessed it.

'It was fun while it lasted…’ She told herself as her smile returned onto her lips. ‘Time to go home.’

***

Days had passed since Theodora had left and gone back to America. Yet for some reason, the mood around the prison hadn’t lifted. Everyone knew that something was missing to the overal aura. There was Jyugo who was still unconscious and held up somewhere and now Theodora was gone. Building 13 cell 13 were quiet and didn’t even try to escape. How could they? It wasn’t fun without jyugo and without Theodora, Hajime was now boring.

Samon had watched her go. He gritted his teeth at the fact that he couldn’t stop her. What the warden had said was final. He had to leave it at that.

Hajime had come back from his three day suspension and had expected to come back to utter hell breaking loose. Yet there was nothing. Not a peep.

“Why is it so dull here…” he groaned with his hat over his face. He didn’t miss the usual escaping from cell 13 but he couldn’t deny he was bored.

“Did you finish all the extra paperwork handed back from the warden?” Seitarou asked. Hajime nodded.

“Did anything happen when I was gone?” Seitarou shook his head no. “Really? Not even one escape?”

“Nope. They just stayed in their cell.”

“Hmm…. what about you Theo?” Hajime turned around and saw the empty chair.

Damn it. He had forgotten that he no longer worked here.

“We got a post card from her.” Seitarou said as he took a small postcard from the desk. “Every building got one. She says she doing okay and that she wishes every one the best.”

“Oh? Where is she now?” Hajime said spinning on his chair and throwing his hat up and catching it.

“She’s back working on the farm. Apparently she’s sleeping in a small apartment of the barn with the horses, so she’s not homeless but it takes a cut out of her wages.” Hajime turned around to look at the voice from the door way.

“What the heck are you doing here?” Hajime asked the newly arrived Kijiwith a groan. He was bored but he really didn’t want the company of a feather-brained pheasant.

“I’m just dropping off some finished paperwork that I had to do because you were off for three days. I think it’s tragic. Working in the heat and with all the heavy machinery. The poor girl’s skin must be suffering…” Hajime growled and turned back to looking at the CCTV again.

“It’s not my problem. I told her not to go-“ Hajime couldn’t finish his sentence since Kiji had hit him on the head hard.

“SHUT YOUR TRAP! YOU CAN’T TALK SINCE YOU PRACTICALLY BEAT THAT INMATE TO DEATH! SHE HAD TO DO WHAT SHE DID OR IT WOULD HAVE BEEN YOU FIRED!” Hajime rubbed his head and groaned at how he was only doing his job. Kiji rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of desperation. “Seriously Hajime… half of the inmates are bored out of their minds because she’s gone. They seemed to have liked her a lot. It’s only a matter of time before they start a mini revolution unless we do SOMETHING. The warden is hearing all of it from the monkey and the dog… she really was useful in keeping inmates calm…”

“So?”

“SO? SO!? WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY OF BRINGING HER BACK FOR GOD’S SAKE!”

Hajime groaned again. He couldn’t lie that the inmates were a lot better staying in their cells but he also couldn’t hide the fact that he liked having Theo around. It meant a lot less work for him, and maybe he would feel a lot less guilty.

“If I don’t mind asking? What are you going to do?” Seitarou said softly. Kiji smiled and for some reason, Hajime had a reaaaally bad feeling about this.

***

“Do you really believe this’ll work…?”

“No idea but we’ve at least got to try!”

“You may want to calm those emotions of yours down. They might just ruin our chances of helping her…”

“All we have to do it talk, right? Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Of course you of all people would say that…”

The four Supervisors of Nanba Prison were making their way to the Warden’s office as fast as possible. They had each tried to convince the warden to bring Theodora back. The inmates weren’t moving from their cells at all. Not even to eat. When the guards did visit them, they were restless. It seems that Theodora had built up a much stronger bond than they had thought in just a small amount of time. It was key that she came back so the prison could go back to normal. As weird as it was for all four to agree on something, especially a human being who was a past inmate, they all can see a type of use for her abilities.

Even though this act might demote them, or even get the fired, they were still determined to do it. Well, mostly Samon. Practically everyone could see his growing fire of wanting to convince the Warden, and everyone knew why. He was an open book, basically.

Knowing Mitsuru was inside of the Warden’s office, the four went right on it without knocking. The entered just in time to see a red-face Warden with her fist up, ready to pulverize Mitsuru, only to stop at the sounds of the doors. The sight of her murderous intent was enough to make all of them shiver. The Warden Momoko stared at them for a moment before dropping Mitsuru onto the ground without a second thought.

“…It’s rather unusual to see you four barging into my office at once.” Calmly spoke the Warden as she sat back down in her chair to recollect herself. “Is something the matter that needs all of you four here…?”

“Yes, ma'am, there is…” Samon dared to spoke up, but it was clear he was nervous.

Mitsuru, now back onto his feet, patted Hajime’s shoulder and snickered loudly. “Good luck, brothaa!”

The dark skinned man walked out of the office cackling, making Hajime want to smash his skull in. Once he disappeared, they all focused their attention onto the Warden.

“It’s about Theodora Nicci.” Spoke Kiji.

“Nicci? Again? I have already made my decision and the answer is no. I am NOT bringing her back.” Momoko’s eye twitched at the name as she raised a brow at them.

“It’s not a question of whether we want her to stay-“ Kenshirou began.

“We need her to stay.” Hajime said interrupting him. Kenshirou growled at Hajime finishing his sentence.

“She doesn’t belong here in Nanba Prison. She’s just a criminal.”

“Please hear us out, Ms Warden, before you make any final decisions.” Kiji spoke up, trying to keep the conversation calm and civil. “We all have our reasons for being here. Please hear us out.”

The Warden stared at them with her sharp gaze before sighing softly. “Fine. Since you seem so intent on making your useless point valid, you may proceed…”

“I’ll go first.” Kenshirou said and stepped forwards. “After much debating, many of us Supervisors have agreed that we think it’s best for Theodora to stay. Looking at her capabilities, flaws and strengths, we all strongly believe that we can benefit from having her around.”

“We all have our own experiences with her, and some aren’t that great,” spoke Kiji. “But, that woman is something special… We all can see that, despite our different opinions about her.”

“If you saw her in action first hand, I can assure you that you would change your mind, ma'am.. though the inmates are supposed to stay in their cells, that is all the do. Some of them don’t even leave to eat or to exercise. They developed a bond with Theodora that made them calm and not feel the need to rebel against us. Now that’s gone, they’ve become restless and agitated and no matter how much force or power we show, nothing’s going to change without Nicci.” Samon spoke up, trying hard to keep his voice calm and not show emotion. "Theodora is…”

“Not supposed to be here.” The Warden stated harshly, shocking the group. “I understand that Nicci has the ability to connect to people. I know that. It’s the whole reason that I allowed her to be a guard in the first place. But, we agreed her gender be kept a secret, and that didn’t even last longer that three weeks. She got found out. And yes, I know it was from the attacks from both inmates No.15 and No.634. Because of that incident, I cannot allow her to stay in this Prison anymore.”

“May we ask why, ma'am?” Kiji asked, wanting to know her reasons.

“It’s pretty obvious why.” Momoko stated bluntly. “She’s a criminal. She was even our past inmate No.7 of Nanba Prison. Not only that, but I gave her strict guidelines for her to follow if she wanted to be a guard. Nicci broke almost all of them. She agreed to it, too. And, as for her to be a female, I cannot allow her to stay as a guard. There are too many risk of her getting injured or assaulted and I will not stand for it! I will not risk her own well being just because she’s 'nice’ to have around… You all are here, acting on your own emotions instead of reason. I will not allow such childish reasons to go against my own…”

“Now hold it right there.” Hajime spoke up, agitation clear in his voice, and shocking everyone by his blunt rudeness. “I was the one in charge of her this entire time. And I can assure you, ma'am, that she didn’t break any of her guidelines. She never touched any official documents, or went into high ranking areas. She always came for my permission to go somewhere, and that would usually either be the bathroom or the cafeteria. For the mask, I’m to blame for that. I took her mask off whenever she was in the office and told her to put it back on if she was to ever leave it. And she can’t be blamed for being born a female. She did her best to stay hidden and did a damn well job of it. I take full blame for her and her actions. I’m already suspended for three days as it is. If it means getting her ass back here and staying, then I’ll willingly will have it longer.”

Momoko stared at Hajime in utter shock. Hajime had always been one to keep his tone in a respectful manner towards the Warden, always to try and never offend her. So for him to go ahead and allow himself to curse right in front of her, talking directly at her, was utterly shocking. She couldn’t help but feel angry and possibly… jealousy?

“She is a criminal.” Momoko stated, clearly trying not to show her anger. “We don’t know if she might turn on us the moment she doesn’t like something. How do we know she won’t turn on us, or even the inmates? She is not to be trusted, and that’s that!” Momoko stood from her seat, glaring at each individual. “Theodora Nicci is fired from being a guard and will never be allowed to visit this island ever again. That is my orders…”

“She has every right to be here just as much as us!”

“She’s a well admesary and is sharply minded. Please, think about this for a moment, your Warden…!”

“That girl will not remain here any longer! That’s final!”

“But we can benefit from having her around! Please think about this properly, madame!”

The four Supervisors were all hotly arguing against the Warden, everyone on their feet and clearly fuming with different emotions. The Warden was staying stubborn and strong, but the four kept throwing facts at her barrier, trying to get through. It was clear that this argument was possibly getting out of hand already…

“Please think about this for one second, ma'am! Please!” Samon said and began listing everything he knew about Theodora. “This kid is amazing, okay? She’s sharp and clever, which is what caused her to be transferred into every building around. She knows how to act the part when given and she can damn well do it properly. Her strength can even rival Hajime’s, and that’s saying something! And what’s even more amazing than that is the fact that she can get anybody to trust her! That’s something hardly any of us can do, especially since we’re the guards!”

“She is a criminal and should have never came here!” Yelled the Warden. “How do you know she won’t turn against us and cause trouble just like she did in the past?!”

“Because I was the one to help her!” Samon exclaimed. “I got her out of that shit hole she was in! I got her back on the right path! Why? Because that was my job, and I care about that kid more than my own life!”

“See? This is what I meant!” Exclaimed the Warden. “Your emotions are all out of whack! None of you can even see straight…”

“We can see perfectly fine, Ms Warden,” Hajime stated as he tried not to growl. “Are you sure you’re not the one with your emotions out of whack? Because you aren’t even listening to what we’re trying to tell you!”

“Nicci is somebody we want as one of our guards…!” Kenshirou spoke up, his tone being a lot calmer than anybody else’s. “That girl has gotten us to crack multiple cases with over half of the inmates when she was in prison herself. She gathered intel all because she knew of the right things to say. If she can do that again, then we mind even be able to figure out this mystery with No.634 and No.25!”

“You want her to go underground?! Where all of the rapists and convicts are?!” Exclaimed the Warden. “She’ll get teared to shreds the moment she steps down there! She only got away with it back then because of those hormone pills she was taking to change her gender! But she’s still a woman! I will not risk her own safety by her staying!”

“Oh, please!” Kiji interjected, clearly being fired up himself. “Did you see how she fought against those two rogue inmates in the tournament? Or even when she fought Samon?! She can handle herself just fine! Hell, we all know she was holding back that entire time! She can do much worse damage if she wanted, and we all know that! Her being a woman is a pathetic excuse for her to not stay here, miss!”

“Plus, she isn’t a criminal anymore!” Samon fired at the Warden. “You said it yourself, she’s a civilian now! Stop calling her a criminal when she has served her sentence two years ago!”

“That still doesn’t wipe her record clean, and I know about her terrifying strength!” Shouted the Warden. “Her HSAN is a problem and we all know it! She got her own body burnt when she fought No.634 and she kept fighting! She almost got killed by No.15 because she 'cares’ about him! I know there’s one thing to care about your inmates, but she makes it sound like they’re her own children! Which they are not! They are criminal who have been put into Nanba Prison for a damn good reason!”

“That’s why so many people trust her!” Hajime exclaimed. “The reason they get so attached to her is because she cares for them! Because she talks and listens to them! Remember the day she left this shity place? Even our worse prisoners were sobbing because she was gone! Hell, even Shiro, the chief from my Building, is glad to have her back in the prison!”

“I don’t care if she makes them feel better! This is a PRISON!” Shouted the Warden. “It’s suppose to be a shithole for everyone around! It’s suppose to teach these scum that this is what happens when you break the law! Not reward them!”

“Do you even realize all of the things that Theodora has done here?!” Samon exclaimed. “Not only did she figure out some cases for us, but she had also stopped people from killing themselves! She stopped a man from committing suicide! And that man was one of my guards! How many people do you know can say that, huh? She has stopped people from creating riots in the buildings! Hell, three of my own inmates that trust me have told me they’re glad to have her back because she had went out of her way to help them when nobody else wanted to! The week she got out of prison, I gained a letter from her, telling me she donated a bunch of her hair and blood. What criminal goes ahead and does that?!”

“We need her as an ally!” Interjected Kenshirou. “There are prisoners we have now that will refuse to talk and give us their full trust. If we have Theodora, she can gain us all of those things, and maybe even more!”

“And what happens if she gets hurt, huh? What happens then?” Growled the Warden. “She is still a woman, and will get targeted by everybody who finds out! You all are saying that you’re doing this for her, well—news flash—so am I! She was the first ever female prisoner to be placed in a prison full of men, and refused to go anywhere else. Everyday she was here I just waited for a report of her being assaulted. I waited for it, dreading it, because in any prison around the world, anything can happen. I will not have her stay here and relive that dreadful wait for a call or report that she was rape. I will not have that!”

“It never happened back then and it won’t happen now!” Samon said. “When it comes to putting her foot down about her body, she’ll break the ground when it comes to it! Even with her working here she has always been surrounded by guards. There was never a time she wasn’t safe with our care. Hell, Mitsuru had been using the cameras to keep an eye on her just for safe keeping! Theodora needs to stay here as a guard!”

“Why? Because of your pathetic excuse for feelings?!” Yelled the Warden. “I don’t care if she made you or others feel great because she 'cared’. We don’t know a single thing about what she’s thinking. For all we know, this entire thing could’ve been an act! She doesn’t care about you or anybody here, and that included everyone here!”

Everyone went quiet. Samon was shaking with rage at how unfair this was. When he received her postcard, he could tell that she was having a hard time. He could see the marks from where she had been crying. If anything she was barely hanging onto life. He need Theodora here. He needed to make sure that she was okay.

“You’re wrong…” Spoke up Samon. Everyone turned to look at him. Even Mitsuru who had just entered seemed surprised at the tone he was taking.

“That’s pretty cold for even you to say, Miss Hyakushiki.” Mitsuru said. “Not, I don’t interact with this kid a lot, but I’ll say for certain that you’re absolutely wrong when it comes to this kid.”

“You don’t know a damn thing about her, Ms Warden. If you did, then you would understand that she cares more about anybody in this damn building compared to anybody else! She cares about everybody here! The guards, the prisoners, the workers— she cares for them all. Her HSAN stops her from physically feeling object and temperature—not her feelings! She knows herself better than anybody here, and sometimes, She just needs a reminder of that. We all do sometimes… I respect you a lot, ma'am, and I know your job is stressful, but don’t you EVER tell me that She doesnt care, because you don’t know shit about her!” Every body stood there speechless. Samon had the most respect for her than any guard. For him to speak so out of turn and so boldly, it was like he was begging for his own death sentence. Samon couldn’t think properly. Theodora had to come back. Where she was, it wasn’t home. She wasn’t happy. She needed Nanba, and Nanba needed her.

“What did you just say?” Growled the Warden as she looked ready to kill.

“You have very good points as well in this argument, and I’m glad that you care enough for her own safety, but you’re just provoking us into giving you a reason to kick us out! You’re not listening to what we have to say! You’re hearing, but you just don’t want to give in and say you’re wrong!“

"He’s got ya there.” Mitsuru smirked and walked more into the room. “Listen, Ms. Hyakushiki. Nobody wants Theodora gone. Hell, she even managed to calm down a raging No.15. Lots of people trust her, and that in itself should be enough to make her stay. Give her another chance.”

“But…!” The Warden looked prepared to fight, but not words came from her mouth.

“This girl is someone you want as one of your guards.” Mitsuru said. “Heck, she even manage to surprise you when she came in here! I doubt there’s ever going to be another time where these four all agree on something without argument, okay? Even I think this is something you should do.”

“All we’re asking is to give Theodora another chance…!” Samon said, sounding very much calmer than before.

Momoko stood there in silence. She looked at each of their faces to see their serious expressions. It was clear that each one of them felt strongly about this decision. With a sigh, Momoko tilted her head down as she felt a smile suddenly pull on her lips.

“I see now…” She said calmly. “Guess I really was just blind with emotions…”

The Warden suddenly turned and went back to her desk. She sat down in her chair and wore a serious expression.

“As much as I don’t want to admit it… I may have been wrong.” Spoke the Warden, which honestly surprised Samon. “Like Mitsuru said, it’s very rare for the four of you to agree on something, much less willingly argue against me about it. That’s rather daring for you all… And, you all gave strong points.”

“So, does that mean…?” Kiji trailed off.

“Theodora Nicci.” The Warden spoke sternly, eyeing all the supervisors sharply. “She has her job back. If she’s so convincing as you five idiots say she is, then I trust that she’ll convince the inmates who saw her as a female to keep quiet about it. I only ask that she keep dressing as a male because there are many prisoners here who won’t hesitate to harm her if they discovered her true gender. She will still have to follow the guidelines I had given her and act like this whole event never happened. She will still be working in Building 13 under Hajime’s orders…”

"Y-yes, ma'am…” Sulked the group.

“As for the rest of you…” The Warden sharply glared at them. “You all get double the usual workload than usual for one week. “Samon you will go to America to get her. I expect her to be back by the end of the month ready to start up again. Think of it as punishment for rudely talking towards your superior as you have and barging in without my consent…”

“Hajime…” The man’s head perked up and stared at the Warden, signalling he was listening. “…You had confidence that she can help inmate No.15. Do you still have that confidence?”

“Yes, ma'am.” Hajime nodded her head. “I strongly believe if she was given a chance that She can convince him of behaving. He trusts her enough for her to get close to him. If She can just talk to him personally, then she can show him that what he did was wrong. I know with a bit of help, she can put him onto the right track. All She needs is time…”

“Hm…” The Warden seemed to ponder for a moment. “…After he wakes up from his coma and is properly interrogated, then she may talk to him again. I’ll count on her and you to make sure that he doesn’t use those blades against anybody, especially his fellow inmates.”

Hajime nodded obediently.

“Now get out of my office.” The Warden ordered and turned her chair to them. “We can’t have the Buildings left unattended forever…”

“Thank you, ma'am!” Everyone exclaimed suddenly, being slightly too loud.

The Warden simply waved her hand, telling them to get out. Once they were out did they finally breathe a sigh of relief.

“I knew we could do it…!” Samon exclaimed.

“You, Monkey… have a death wish.” Kiji said whilst looking into a small compact mirror.

“I can’t believe you spoke to the warden like that.” Kenshirou muttered with a shocked expression on his face.

“Believe me I was terrified that I would get fired instead…” Samon whined. “I can’t believe it worked though.” His mood instantly picking back up.

“Are you sure you two aren’t cut from the same cloth?” Kiji chuckled, who was smiling at himself through the mirror. “I’m just glad my makeup is still intact. I thought if I frowned any longer I would have become a hot mess…”

You’re always a hot mess.“ Hajime stated bluntly.

"You can never simply be nice, now can you?” Kiji scoffed at him.

“When are you leaving for America?” Kenshirou said in attempt to change the subject.

“Immediately.” Samon said putting a fist in his hand.

***

Working on a farm in Colorado was tough.

There was the heat.

The fields.

The bugs.

Theodora would spend hours plotting and cutting and harvesting. She worked so hard that she started to get blisters on her hands.

Samon had spent a total of three days trying to get there. He had a rough idea of where the farm was thanks to Theodora’s post cards. But he didn’t know how far away it would be from the main town. He pulled up at the bottom of the hill and looked up at the house standing at the top. It was a retro type house, with red and white beams that decked its framework. It looked like a typical American ranch with its white picket fence. As he began to walk up, he looked around himself. The area wasn’t half bad. There was plenty of open spaces and the views were a wonder. The problem was that it was just so hot.

As soon as he reached the top and looked down the driveway he couldn’t see Theodora. Instead his gaze met with another mans. A much shorter and rounder man, in a pair of dungarees and a white vest. With a cigarette in his mouth, he didn’t look like the most friendly man in the world. Yet Samon knew he had to talk to him at some point.

“Excuse me sir?” Samon began as he walked closer to the house and closer to the man who said nothing. “Are you the owner of this farm?”

“Who’s asking?” Samon stopped walking for a bit as he took in the man’s gruff voice.

“My name is Samon Gokuu and I’m looking for Miss Theodora Nicci.”

“Nicci? What the hell do you want with her?” He shouted whilst puffing on his cigarette. “She’s busy.”

“Well do you know where I might find her? I need to talk to her about something quite important.” The man stood there taking in Samon. For once he wasn’t in his usual Nanba Prison guard uniform. He was wearing a dark red shirt tucked in to a pair of black combat trousers and a pair of black doc Martins. The man sighed and nodded to the left.

“She’s in the fields. Walk that way and you might catch her. But make it quick. I ain’t payin’ for her to talk. Otherwise I’ll take it outta her pay. Got it?” Samon nodded. Clearly he wasn’t going to negotiate the terms of their encounter. If all went to plan, Theodora wouldn’t be in this job for long.

Samon walked for about half an hour before he spotted Theodora in the fields. At first it was hard to catch her since he couldn’t see much in the long grass. However, in the middle of the field, he could spot the familiar sight of silver hair and the sound of grass being sliced.

Theodora, had been cutting grass with an old scythe. She still had the same black jeans and matching riding boots as when she left Nanba. Expect for this time, she wore a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Samon watched her bring the scythe above her head and swing it down with ease. He marvelled at how strong she was. Scythes were extremely heavy. To be able to swing it without shaking or dropping it was impressive. As watched her, he could see thanks to her sleeves being rolled up her arms. They were bleeding. Even her knuckles were red and cut. Before he could say anything, Theodora stopped.

“What are you doing here Samon?” She turned around and swung the scythe so the wood rested on her back whilst she held it with her forearms. Samon had forgotten how good her hearing was.

“We need to talk.”

***

It was four hours later that Samon could finally talk to Theodora. Mostly because if she had stopped working, she wouldn’t have been payed. Now they both sat on the hay stack in the stables.

“This is where you sleep?” Samon asked looking around. “It stinks of horse shit. How can you even sleep?”

“With great ease. I work for so long in the fields that I’m just too tired to care.” Theodora said as she picked at a piece of straw. “I couldn’t find anywhere to stay. So at first I was just hiding. Then old man dick caught me and said that I could stay here as long as i did extra work. He’d charge rent out of my salary too. Called it interest. I call it drinking money.” Samon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This was extortion. Theodora looked much paler as if she was going to collapse any minute now. Her body looked so jaunt and skinny, he honestly thought she was going to break in half.

“Have you been at least eating well?” Theodora stood up and walked over to the horses to give them a brush. ‘She was clearly avoiding the question’ Samon thought. “Nicci?” He repeated expectingly. She shook her head.

“I haven’t eaten in about a week.” Samon opened his eyes wide.

“Seriously?” Theodora nodded.

“The nearest store is 16 miles away. I’m not allowed to use the truck just in case I steal it and never come back, I mostly just take a slice of bread or a cheap bottle of wine from the kitchen when I really can’t take it. It’s not like he notices it. He’s drunk most of the time.” Once the horses were groomed, Theodora pulled out a cigarette packet from her back pocket and put it in between her teeth. Samon noticed it was the same kind that the man he had spoken to had. She had probably taken them when the man wasn’t looking.

“I didn’t realise you smoked.” Samon said. Theodora shrugged and went to sit on the hay stack in front. In the dim light Samon could see better how bad she looked. On the sleeves of her shirt, stains of blood had splattered. He also noticed that two of her fingers on her right hand had been taped together. “What happened to your fingers?” Theodora looked down at her fingers.

“I broke them.”

“You what?”

“I think it was in the wagon. I was loading something in and must have trapped them under one of the carts or something. Didn’t even notice it until a couple of days after I came. They should be okay now.”

“And your arms?” Theodora didn’t speak after that. Instead she just puffed on her cigarette and wiped the dry blood off with a wet sponge. He sighed and walked over to her. Taking the sponge, Theodora’s eyes grew wider. When she tried to take it back, Samon tapped her hand and continued cleaning her arms.

“What are you doing here Samon? It’s clearly not for a social call…”

“I’m here to tell you that you got your job back.”

“What?” Theodora couldn’t believe it. The warden gave her her job back? Why? When Samon was done he stared into her eyes. They really were something. They were the deepest blue he had ever seen. Theodora started back into his yellow eyes and a shiver went down her spine. “I can’t go back.”

“What? Why not!?” Samon said loudly.

“You know why not! After everything that happened…. do you honestly think I will be welcomed back with open arms? Look at me Samon, I’m a criminal and I always will be.”

Samon blinked a couple of times before scoffing at what she had said. “That is the most ridiculous shit that I have ever heard.” Theodora frowned at him as if to argue back. “No I’m serious Nicci. You and I both know that you love that job. You need that Job. We need you at that job..” Theodora made another confused expression, clearly not understanding what he meant. Samon sighed loudly and rolled his eyes.

‘How can she be so dense?’ He thought to himself.

“Listen okay?” Samon spoke up and was now kneeling in front of her. “After you ran out of the warden’s office, we couldn’t just let you walk away from here. So we each tried to convince the warden to let you stay. Unfortunately it didn’t work and since Hajime was on suspension we had to continue working. But the aura was so wretched there. Inmates were furious and demanding that you be reinstated… they wouldn’t come out of their cells to even eat. That’s how much of an impact you put on just being there.” Theodora’s eyes began to tear up as she listens to Samon.

“You’re a remarkable person really. Yes you tend to piss him off more than anybody and sometimes you can be a selfish brat….” Theodora laughed as Samon said this with a smile. “But you never really mean any harm. You’re still young and figuring things out in your life, but you’re much sharper than any normal human. The inmates tend to bond with you almost instantly and have such a vast amount of trust in you compared to anybody else.”

“But…. why….? The warden’s words are practically law there. Why don’t you guys just let go…?” Theodora questioned.

“Because… and in the words of that stupid gorilla… you’re an annoying, shitty brat that you made us care about. Look kid, you know the basic concept of the world better than anybody. But, you have this strong belief of showing people kindness and getting them to trust you. Ever since your four years in Nanba, we all noticed the drastic change in demeanour of all the prisoners there. As stupid as it sounds, you have a gift.” Theodora couldn’t believe what he was saying. Her tears spilled onto her cheeks as she shook her head and placed her hands on her arms.

“No… no… no I… you’ve got it all wrong I… I’m not… like that…”

“What I’m trying to say here is that you’re important okay?” Samon said in a fast manner, showing his desperateness. “You’re a good kid who had hit a dark path, alright? But you grew up and got out of that path. The day you left Nanba was like a phenomenon! Grown men were crying after you left. Grown fucking men who have done worse shit than you ever had. Your ability to bond with people is incredible, okay? And we all had agreed that the warden wasn’t seeing that. You even bonded with us without realisation. You’re a clever little girl who is able to sympathise with anybody you meet. Your morals somehow affect whoever you speak to, you know. It’s like you give them a piece of yourself to connect them. It’s nothing we’ve ever seen before.” Theodora laughed a little through her tears and Samon reached his hand up to wipe them away. He took her hands in his and looked at how beat up they were. She probably didn’t even feel how much they hurt her. Then again, she probably didn’t feel his hands either.

“Plus your HSAN is a hassle, but your strength is quite a strong suit of yours. Or at least from what I can see when you pushed that tractor up the hill as if it was nothing earlier on today. Your greatest talents are your own flaws. You’re emotional, even though you feel nothing. Your strength is enough to kill you, but you never die. Your speech causes chaos yet you can calm the most chaotic of people. As much as I have to do what the warden says, I don’t believe that you being gone is right.” Theodora stopped smiling. The warden didn’t want her there so how could she go back? What’s more… how could she have forgotten about the warden?

“H-h-hold on for a moment!” Theodora exclaimed, looking utterly shocked and in disbelief. “L-let’s think about this logically, o-okay….!? Look. I broke almost everyone of my guidelines. Even Hajime knows for a fact that I broke them. Hell,I even got my gender found out when that was my number one ticket out of that place! I have every reason to be fired!”

“No you don’t.” Samon said shaking his head defiantly. “You never touched a single document or went into a room of a high status. You always listened to what Hajime told you, even at the tournament. You jumped into that fight between those inmates because you knew they were going to kill each other, or, someone else entirely. Hajime took your mask off whenever you were in the office because that was the deal that you two had, just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean shit when it comes to this job, because you proved perfectly well that you can take down anybody if you wanted. There is no reason for you to be fired.”

“B-but…” Theodora couldn’t find any words to counter him.

“Look, Theodora….” Samon lifted her chin with his finger so she was staring directly into is eyes instead of at the ground. “You know perfectly well that us four supervisors hardly ever agree on a damn thing. But we all agree that you need to stay as a prison guard. You need to stay at Nanba. We need you.”

“N-no… No, you don’t…!” Theodora denied and shook her head. She stood up and ran out of the stables, palm on her forehead as she tried to calm down her breathing.

“What do you mean no?” Samon scoffed and followed her. “I think I gave plenty of reasons why you should stay.”

“L-look, you all know I’m a hot mess, okay?” Theodora spoke frantically, trying to counter his claims once again. “I’m just some… brat that can barely feel shit and who knows hot to act because, in case you haven’t already noticed, that’s all I do, okay? I act! Okay!? Hell, I don’t even know what’s true anymore! You don’t want me…!”

Samon fumed at her words. Without even hesitating, he punched her right in her jaw, knocking her to the ground. Theodora held her cheek and gazed at Samon in such disbelief and shock that not even she could fathom what to do.

“You did NOT just say that.” Samon growled at her, baring his teeth at her as he yelled. “Do you even realise what the hell you’re even fucking saying? ‘Can’t feel’? ‘Acts all the time’? Because I know that ain’t FUCKING TRUE! I know you better than anybody here, and you gave me this same type of shit five years ago alright? What did I say to you back then? Because I KNOW that you remember. WHAT DID I SAY!?!?”

“… ‘N-no one is incapable of feeling anything… it just matters on who acknowledges them or not’…” Theodora spoke softly as tears were welling up in her eyes. “Y-you t-told me to grow up, a-and figure it out… b-because no emotionless person would jump I-in front of a sword to save someone’s life…”

“And you grew up, didn’t you?” Samon yelled at her. “You grew up and figured it out. I know you did, because anybody who knows you can figure you out like a book. So don’t you fucking dare give me that acting shit, because I know that it isn’t true! You might not be able to ‘feel things’ but I know that you have the biggest fucking heart in this entire fucking country… plus japan. What did you promise me the day you were released from your sentence there?”

“That I wouldn’t go back down that path again…” she whispered quietly, but it was loud enough to hear.

“Get your ass up and say it again.” Samon ordered. “Stand up!”

Theodora slowly got up to her feet and Samon stood right in her face, continuing to shout at her. She just stood there, staring at him, seeing the raw emotions he was screaming at her.

“SAY IT AGAIN!!!” Samon shouted in her face “SAY IT ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!!!”

“I-I won’t go down that path again…” she said a bit louder, her voice shaking with clear emotion.

“AGAIN!!!” Samon shouted one last time.

“I’M NOT GOING DOWN THAT PATH AGAIN!!!” She shouted back in his face

“GOOD!” He yelled. He took a step back, keeping eye contact, and dialled his voice down until it was soft. “You’ve already hit hell. Climb your ass out of that damn depression and prove to me that you’re not going down that road again…”

Theodora nodded her head, her lip quivering violently. She was clearly trying not to cry, her face contorted into a wide mix of emotions. Theodora tilted her head down and rubbed her eyes roughly with the palm of her hands, trying to push back the tears that just won’t stop falling down.

“Geez… and I thought Hajime was harsh… to think you had it in you to explode like that. Do you abuse your inmates like this all the time?” Theodora teased.

“S-SHUT UP!” Samon shouted at her, looking very flustered. “YOU BASTARD DON’T KNOW SHIT!”

Theodora released a laugh, which sounded a lot like a sob. Samon softened his face as he looked at her, watching her cover her eyes as she was widely smiling, soft laughs escaping her lips. Her body was shaking and he was pretty sure she was crying again.

“Th-thank you!…” she whispered, her voice cracking at the very end. “Th-thank y-you!”

Samon’s lips parted a little in shock, before taking a breath and walking over to Theodora. Before she could say anything, samon’s arms had wrapped around her in a hug. She was much taller than him, so he rested his head on her shoulder. She kept quiet and listened to his soft breaths.

“You don’t need to cry anymore. I don’t know what happened when you left Nanba, or how you managed to get incarcerated at age 12… but you don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to. I hope maybe someday I can be trusted with that knowledge but as for now… hang in there a little longer okay?”

Theodora gulped down the lump in her throat and nodded to him.

Samon….

***

Samon had stayed the night at the farm since he hadn’t booked any accommodation. He had intially planned for Theodora to accept right away. He also didn’t expect the farm to be so far away. Instead he found himself lying in the hay, facing her, with one of the horse’s riding blankets draped over the both of them. He could tell that Theodora was cold by the way that she was shivering. He looked at her eyes. They really were an ocean blue. He also noticed that her hair had grown longer to just below her ears. It was still boyish short but longer than it used to be. He though it suited her well.

“I was seven when I met him.” Theodora’s voice broke the silence between them and Samon looked at her intently, prepared to listen. “I was coming home from school with cuts on my knees. He was there by the bus stop and I was all alone.”

-

‘Hey you.’ Theodora stopped and stared up at the man. He was a tall and skinny man. One that she hadn’t met before.

‘Me?’ She asked him whilst pointing to her chest.

“Yeah you. Come here.” Theodora stood still. She remembered school telling her about strange men that waited for little girls. If they met them, they were to run away. “I’m not going to bite you if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m a friend of you dad’s.”

“You know my dad?” She asked him. He smiled coyly and folded his arms.

“Sure I do. I used to work with him. What’s your name?” Theodora thought hard about this. If he did now her dad then surely he wasn’t a stranger…

“Theodora Nicci.”

“Theodora!? Well it’s me! Paul! I used to baby sit you when you were a baby! Don’t you remember me? Uncle Paul?” She shook her head and took a step back. He laughed a little and shook his head. “Of course you don’t. You were only two.” He crouched down to her level and gave her a small smile. “Do you still have that barbie I gave you for your third birthday? The one with the pink dress?” Theodora nodded.

“That’s my favourite one. Wait- you were at my party?”

The man nodded. “Did you have a clown?” Theodora thought for a bit and then nodded. “Well I was the clown!”

-

“He was way too good. He could pretend all he wanted. He just had to say certain things that would make me believe he truly was who he said he was. For example if I had a clown at my party like every other normal kid or if I had the most wanted toy by little girls. I didn’t have to know who he really was. I just had to have the idea planted into my head.” Samon’s heart was racing.

‘A child predator. That’s what she’s describing. That scum bag. That bastard.’ Samon thought over and over again.

“He was there everyday. At the bus stop. When I came home from school. He’d always bring me something nice too. Like ice cream or a flower or a new toy that I really wanted but couldn’t have. He was my only friend. Then one day I came home from school crying. That was the day people said I was a freak for not being able to feel anything, and because I was starting to become freakishly strong. They called me a boy and excluded me from everything. That’s when he gave them to me.”

-

“What are these?” Theodora asked as she spun the pill bottle in her fingers.

“They are magic. When you swallow these, you can be a boy. All those people that laughed at you and called you a freak… won’t be able to anymore. You’ll be a completely different person.”

Theodora widened her eyes in wonder and excitement. “Really? All those mean people will go away?” He nodded and carefully, Theodora put them in her pocket.

“Thank you Paul.” She said sweetly before giving him a hug.

-

“The more I took, the more it worked, or at least I thought it did. If anything, it would make me less hungry. When I did eat, all I wanted to do was throw up. Paul told me it was natural. That I just had to keep eating at least once a day. He also told me not to tell mom or dad. He said they wouldn’t understand and would try to stop me.” Theodora looked at her hands. They were shaking now. Samon reaches out and put one hand on hers as if to say that he was there. Theodora smiled and nodded, continuing her story.

“These pills seemed to have killed all the fat on me, making me much skinnier. I was naturally taller than most of the girls anyway. Eventually, he gave me new ones to try. I think he had created them and without questioning him I did. The side effect was that I became more rebellious. I’d sneak out now and again to meet up with him and his group of friends. They’d train me physically so I could get stronger and i at one point thought that they cared for me. Truth is they didn’t. He just used me as a lab rat and his cronie. I broke into several hospitals to steal medical supplies for him for his new drugs which obviously was tested on me. The new found energy from these street drugs meant that I got more and more… vicious. I’d vandalise and destroy things, steal for myself what I wanted and when someone pissed me off, I’d beat them up. Paul seemed so proud of me. Eventually… he asked me to do something.”

-

“You want me to what?”

“Come on Theodora… it’s not like you haven’t done it before… this’ll be eeeeaaaasyyyyy.”

“B-but I’m 11… I-I can’t do that…”

“Sure you can! Plus you’re going with two other people!” Paul could see the look of doubt on Theodora’s face. It was annoying him how pitiful she looked. “Theodora.” Paul called out sternly. She lifted her head to look at the man she thought to be her second father and the scowl he was giving her was frightening.

“Y-yes p-Paul?” She shivered as the look of disappointment grew on his face.

“Who has helped you become the person you wanted to be?”

“Y-you Paul.”

“Who has consistently looked out for you?”

“You P-Paul.”

“Who bought you toys and nice clothes and taught you the feeling of true happiness?”

“You Paul.”

“Exactly. So… you are going to go with the two men, and you are going to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE TWO PEOPLE WHO OWE ME MONEY! You are going to GET THAT MONEY and BRING IT BACK TO ME. And you are going to make sure that THOSE PEOPLE KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO CROSS ME!!”

Theodora nodded and looked to the ground timidly. Paul sighed and walked up to her, crouching down.

“I’m sorry for yelling Theodora… but you need to learn that it isn’t fair that they get to feel happy and sadness and pain whilst you don’t. I’m doing this for you. I’m creating this world for you.” Theodora nodded and hugged Paul tightly.

-

“When we got to the house Paul had told us to go to, it turned out that one of the girls who went to my school lived there. It was her parents who owed Paul money.”

“Nicci…” Samon called our to her finally realising where she was going with this.

“I beat them up pretty bad. I’m not going to lie. There was blood everywhere. I was covered in it. I threw the first couple of punches. Just to get him to give us the money… which he did in the end. But there was something I was missing. I didn’t like how he felt fear and pain every time I hit him. I wanted to feel that but couldn’t… and it made me so angry so I just kept beating him and beating him.” Theodora let out a sob as she tried her best to make out the next few words. “Eventually I didn’t even know if he was alive or not. The next day… the next day…. I went into school and his daughter was there.”

-

“You monster! How could you do that to him!” The girl slapped Theodora in the face, causing everyone to stop and stare. “You’re nothing but a freak and a devil! I wish you didn’t exist!” The girl cried out loud in front of Theodora. Soon everyone was watching them and whispering. Anger boiled up inside Theodora.

“Leave me alone.” She said menacingly as she pushed the girl with her shoulder.

“Did you know he’s in the hospital because of you! Daddy might die because of you! You should be locked up! Hey! Are you even listening to me!? You don’t belong here! You belong in a ditch and forgotten!”

“SHUT UP!” Theodora spun in her heels and pushed her. Only… she pushed her too hard.

-

“She ended up falling over the stair railing and landing on the ground two floors down. She broke her leg, her arm and cracked her head open. I was so afraid that I ran all the way to Paul for comfort… or at least I would have. A dozen police cars were lined outside and arresting him. Turns out the drugs he was producing were killing people or making them go insane. I ran and a couple of weeks later after I turned 12, I was arrested and sent to a jail in North Carolina. You know the rest from then on…”

“Theodora… I… thank you for telling me… I honestly didn’t know…. that man that was dealing drugs at Nanba… the one that killed himself… was he?”

“No he was just some psycho drug addict. He wasn’t working for Paul.”

“Shit….”

“The sad thing is that when I was released from Nanba… I found out Paul had escaped from his jail in Chicago. He tracked me down and tried to get me to join him again. He had a new batch of drugs he wanted to test and with my new strength and increased ability to not feel anything, I was his target. Almost every day at my apartment, I got offers from Paul to join him. When I refused, I was shown what it was like to refuse Paul. I couldn’t feel any of it. But that’s what made it worse. It just reminded me of when I was little. How everyone could feel things that I couldn’t. At first I thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. If I got caught I could try to get sent to Nanba wheee life was at least okay. But then I remembered everything you told me, and all the time spent working with me to become a better person. So in desperation, I tried to go talk to Paul myself and tell him I was done. It seemed to have worked….”

“But?”

“But the people in the car that knocked me down and tried to drown me by throwing me into a lake had other ideas.”

Samon sat bolt up right and stared at Theodora. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He didn’t want to believe what he was hearing. For all he knew, Theodora could have relapsed or worse, could have died.

“No matter what I did, they kept coming after me. Eventually Paul got bored and said I had to pay him a sum of money for all that invested into me.”

“How much?”

“$275 000 dollars.”

“WHAT!?!” Theodora nodded.

“I didn’t have that kind of money obviously and I wasn’t about to steal for it. So I did what any body would do. I cut my hair and sold it. Alongside blood and almost all of my stuff in the apartment that I was renting. I even donated bone marrow… which got me some cash.”

“Bone marrow!?” Samon screeched in shock. Theodora nodded her head.

“It still wasn’t enough. So Paul did the next best thing. He every day for a year came to beat me up. All I could do was take it. Once the year was up I was free. I agreed and that’s what happened. Only he forgot to mention how he was going to do it… let’s just say that I’m glad I had HSAN or the pain would have killed me.”

Samon couldn’t speak. He had been trying to get Theodora to tell him her story ever since she had been first admitted as an inmate to Nanba. Now he officially realised why that was so hard for her.

“When that year was done, I decided enough was enough. I couldn’t trust that he would leave me alone. I also couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t track my family down. So When I became a guard at Nanba, I was relieved to hear that he had been put into custody again. This time for life, in Poland. So far everything’s been a-ok at home. So for once I can relax.”

Samon leaned back onto the hay and looked up. He couldn’t even fathom how much Theodora had been through. All because of this one man. It reminded him of Liang a bit and his story. Yet yours was still completely different, it still had some similarities.

“Theodora?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks for telling me.”

“Hm.”

“I mean it. I’m always worried about you. I’m always wondering if you’re okay or if you’re not. It hurts me when you don’t smile. I don’t know why but… I want you to always be happy. I want you to not be stressed or in danger… I… want to…” Samon couldn’t finish his sentence since theodora’s soft snores filled the room. He turned to look at her figure.

‘She looks…. so peaceful…” Samon thought. Slowly, he reached over and pushed a small silver strand of hair from the face behind her ear. ‘She looks kind of… beautiful… no! Snap out of it Samon…. you need to focus on getting her back to Nanba.’ As he watched her, he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. Anger fuelled him at the thought of Paul. He traced with his fingers slowly each scar that littered her arm. As he did, he couldn’t help thinking one final thing before sleep took him.

‘I’m not letting anybody hurt you like he did. I promise you.’

***

Everything was quiet at Nanba prison. It had been for days.

In cell 13…

“Unooooo…”

“Whaaaaaaaaat….?”

“Your move.”

Uno, Nico and rock were bored. There was nothing else to say other than that. They were bored and lonely and angry.

They had not seen Theodora.

Or Jyugo.

And Hajime who had been gone for three days seemed less and less fun to play around with when either of them weren’t there.

Instead they stuck to playing card games and eating candy bars that Nico had stashed one time from god knows where.

“Right roll call time….” the inmates heard Hajime call from down the hall. Instead they just huffed when they heard the familiar knocking on their inmate door.

“Go away Hajime.” Uno yelled without turning around. “Unless you brought Jyugo or Theo back we ain’t moving at all.

“Yeah! Not even to eat!” Nico shouted as he placed another card down in the pile in front of him.

“If we die here, it’s your fault for beating Jyugo up and making someone lose their job.” Rock said as he looked at his cards. “Damn it uno! You win every time!” He yelled as he slammed his cards down in defeat. The blond laughed and turned to Nico.

“Nicooooo?” The green haired inmate looked down at his cards and folded. Uno le tout a small whoop of joy at his win.

“Yes! That’s the game boys! I win, AGAIN!!! Hey Jyugo did you see that-“ uno looked to the side expecting to see the Japanese boy. When he didn’t, he lowered his head as a dark aura surrounded him. Rock and Nico sat with their own dark auras. “Damn it. I forgot. Jyugo isn’t here.”

“Where could our poor little Jyugo be?” Nico sand sadly.

“Probably lost and alone… tied up somewhere…” rock said.

“Wait a second…” uno snapped his head up and the other two inmates looked at him surprised. “Isn’t Hajime supposed to say something like ‘you guys are being ridiculous babies!’” Uno mimicked Hajime’s rough voice whilst scrunching his face and shoulders, stamping his foot and waving his arms in the air. Nico stood up and did the same expression.

“Yeah! Like ‘why can’t you ever stay in your cells!’”

“Or ‘you guys were trouble from the day you ever came here!’” Rock joined in.

“I DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT YOU STUPID BASTARDS!!” They heard Hajime yell behind them.

“Yes you do.” Uno said turning around to face Hajime. “You sound exactly like-“ uno stopped mid sentence and stared at the door of their cell.

“Uno? What’s the Matt-“ Nico said turning around and looking at the door too.

“Yeah, you stopped mid sen-…. oh.”

Standing in the doorway with their roll call clip board was Hajime….

And someone else.

A guard.

Who was overly skinny.

Kinda tall.

Silver hair that fell just below his ears and spiked up a bit at the ends.

With a black metal face mask.

“Hey guys…. I… I guess I’m back?” Theodora said softly through the mask, yet loud enough for everyone to hear. Silence rang out in the cell and Theodora could swear that if it continued like this, everyone would be able to hear her heart thumping in her chest.

Suddenly the room exploded into chaos.

“THEEEEEOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!”

Before Theodora had any time to stop them, they had wrapped her up in their arms and squeezing her as tightly as they could. It took them a couple of seconds to see that in by doing so… Theodora couldn’t breathe.

“Guys… can’t… breathe…” They all let go of Theo before they started questioning her. What happened? Where did she go? How was it like? She tried his best to answer as much as she could without Hajime growling at her in the background. But after a couple of minutes, it was evident that he wanted to go back.

“Come on. We’ve got work to do. I’m sure you will find another way to catch up with them later.” Hajime said as he began to leave the cell.

“Wait! How can you take Theo away from us! We’ve only just got him back!” Nico pleaded as he grabbed on to Theodora’s waist again.

“Jesus, they really do cling to you…” Hajime muttered. “Like a mother…” Theodora giggled awkwardly and tried to prise him off her.

“I’ve had three younger siblings and helped raise them.” Theodora said, trying not to be annoyed with what Hajime has said. “Of course I act this way, it’s like second nature. I’m only 20 years old and I’m already being called a mom, urgh…”

“It’s kind of hard for you to deny it when Nico’s clinging to you like that.” Uno said.

Finally she managed to get Nico off her waist and smiled at him. She really did remind her of her brothers and sister. Particularly Eva…

“So… what did I miss?” Theodora asked Hajime excitedly. After being away she was definitely excited to start up again. Hajime looked over at her and grumbled.

“I’m gonna be off for three days again, the warden asked me to deliver so documents to another prison regarding an inmate from building 2 that we just transferred out of here so you’ll be working with the other supervisors…” Theodora nodded and walked behind Hajime for a bit whilst looking at the hallways and cell doors that she missed.

Suddenly, Hajime stopped in the hallway and didn’t turn around. It almost made Theodora trip over him.

“It’s good to have you back, kid.” Theodora’s eyes widened. Never in her life did she expect Hajime of all people to say that. Theodora cleared her throat and opened her mouth to say something. The only problem was that no words came out. Hajime snickered and continued to walk.

As soon as the two guards entered the break room, Theodora couldn’t contain the surprise on his face as she saw all the supervisors waiting for her. She immediately ran up to Kiji and hugged him. She could smell how overly perfumed she was and for the first time, she could actually really say that she missed it.

“Samon told me what you did…. y-you guys…” Theodora let go of Kiji and looked at them all, looking as if he was ready to cry again. “Th-thank you… Thank you so much!”

“Aw, there’s waterworks!” Mitsuru laughed and held his arms out to give poor Theodora a hug. “Nobody likes a pretty lady crying! Wipe those those tears, girly. You’re back bein’ a guard!”

“I-I’m just h-happy is a-all…!” She stuttered after hugging him tightly. Kiji waved a white cloth at her.

“Imagine if my makeup were to start running! It would be awful dear, awful!”

“It always is awful” Hajime muttered behind Theo.”

“WILL YOU STOP CRITICISING MY BEAUTY! AT LEAST IM NOT BALD YOU GREAT BIG OAF!”

Theodora laughed at their interactions. She gave Kiji one last hug and thanked him. Kiji just awed at her and squeezed her tightly once again. Once out of his death grip, she went towards Kenshirou, staring up without a word. He just stared back, unsure of why she was directly in front of him. She held her arms out like a child, causing him to sigh deeply.

“Are you really 20?” He questioned, but allowed him to him him nonetheless.

“You know you love it…!” She whispered in a joking manner.

“That’s enjoy, now down.” Kenshirou said and got Theodora off him.

“You still give people dog commands? That’s weird man…” Samon commented to him.

Theodora now stood in front of Hajime, basically having the same situation with Kenshirou. But instead of putting her arms out, she just held out her fist up to him. Hajime sighed in relief and just bumped her fist. But before he could pull his wrist away, Theodora grabbed onto it and glared harshly at him.

“I know you’re going to be interrogating Jyugo after your trip.” She said in a soft, cold manner. “But if I find out that you hurt him in the slightest,I will beat you up so harshly that I’ll be thrown back into prison…”

“Yeah… got it…” Hajime muttered. She released his hand but still looked irritated.

“You still angered angered me and upset me, but…” she sighed softly. “I’m grateful that you helped defend me. Thank you…”

“Yeah, well, go thank Samon.” Hajime muttered. “Without his constant ranting of ‘it’s not fair!’ then it never wouldve happened. It was like he was a five year old…”

“You wanna fight, you bastard!?” Samon growled and shook his fist at him.

“Samon.” Theodora’s voice chimed, causing Samon to immediately look at her. “Thank you for everything…. you never give up on me and I’m grateful…”

“Yeah, well…” Samon scratched the back of his head in an embarrassed manner. “Seeing you in America just proved what I was worrying about… you weren’t living there… you were surviving. I couldn’t just let you be like that if I knew that I could at least try and do something…”

“Yeah, I bet you were sobbing.” Hajime said to Samon.

“You really are trying to fight me, aren’t you!?” Samon shouted at him.

Theodora grinned widely, looking like a child on Christmas Day. She loudly thanked them all before running out of the room as fast as possible to try and get some work done at least. The five men could only sigh and watch her go. For someone who says she can’t feel anything, she sure was beaming more than any person they had ever seen before.

***

Theodora smiled at the ceiling as she was leaning back in her chair. Yesterday, after getting her job back, she ran so fast to building thirteen that she almost broke the offic door by accident. Telling Yamato and Seitarou everything, they ended up hugging and congratulating her. Yamato even offered to take her drinking, since she was the legal age in Japan, but she politely declined.

In the end, them along with a few supervisors (Samon and Kiji of course) offered her dinner. She was pleasantly surprised at house it went. They weren’t bad at all to be around, but Yamato’s loudness from partially getting drunk, could have have been avoided. But, she had fun. After telling the two about her job and everything, that was when she went to the guys in cell 13 with Hajime.

It was actually a nice end to the day. But, it wasn’t fun going back and collecting her wages from the previous month that she had forgot to collect before she was fired. Theodora has made sure that the boys still referred to her as a ‘he’ and as ‘theo’. She still had guidelines after all. But that didn’t matter as long as she had her job.

“So.” Theodora spun her chair towards Seitarou to face him. “One of the other supervisors will be coming to the building to watch over it, right?”

“Yes that’s correct. Since Hajime is off on his three day trip, we need someone to cover for him.”

“Mm…” Theodora hummed. She still had a bit of a grudge against Hajime but, she couldn’t quite hate him. “I wonder who it will be…”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?” A shrill cry came from outside.

“Huh? What was that?” Seitarou stared at the door in surprise.

“I’ll check it out.” Theodora said and stood up.

Grabbing her mask, she attached it to her face and exited the room. She went to the source of the shouts, knowing quite well that it came from cell 13. It was hard to not detect their voices really. Popping her head into the room, she saw Kenshirou standing in their cell. ‘Ooooh, so he’s the supervisor for today….damn it.’

“DORA!” Shouted Nico.

“Huh?” Kenshirou looked bewildered as Nico ran past him and to the door where Theodora stood.

“Uh…!” Theodora was surprised by his actions, watching him once again cling to her waist while giggling wildly. “Nico I told you to call me theo!”

“But Dora is so much cuter!” Argued Nico. “Don’t you agree?”

“I’m a guard. I’m not supposed to be cute.” Theodora started while sweat dropping at him.

“Hajime was right… you are like a mom…” Kenshirou murmured. Theodora laughed awkwardly and tried to pry the green haired inmate off her again. “anyways what are you doing here.” Kenshirou asked her. “Don’t you have paperwork to do?”

“I’ve already done half of it.” Theodora said calmly. “Plus, I heard the guys scream and came to investigate. Turns out it was just you, so yeah….”

“I feel like I should be insulted…” Kenshirou murmered again. “Well, since you’re here, you might as well help me.”

“Hm…?” Theodora tilted her head, showing that she was listening.

“Right here it says that no.25 has an appointment with the doctors for his medication.” Stated kenshirou, showing her the paper. “Since he’s literally attached to your hip, could you take him down?”

“Stop saying stuff that refers me to a mom.” She said in clear irritation.

“Yo, Theo! Take us with you!” Uno said with a raised hand.

“Yeah, we haven’t done it in a while.” Rock added.

“You two will stay here.” Kenshirou instructed, glaring at them sharply. “Only no.25 has a doctor’s appointment. If you have medical troubles you can schedule your own!”

“What? It’s not like we’re going to do anything!” Exclaimed uno.

“Plus, we’ve done this before. It isn’t anything unusual.” Rock said.

“They’re my emotional support group!” Nico said, still clinging to Theodora’s waist.

“Can you let go now, Nico?” Theodora asked him. “You’re making it kinda hard to stand…”

Kenshirou seemed to ponder about letting them stay or go. Personally, Theodora didn’t want them coming. It happened one time and she got so angry with them in the end that she gave them all good whacks to the head. Needless to say, they hadn’t requested to go since they knew her only as the annoying newbie guard.

“Just stay here.” She sighed. “It’ll be easier for me that way. Plus, I rather not find a sign on my back that says ‘but kisser’ in all capital letters… I’m lookin’ at you, Uno. Don’t even try denyin’ it.”

The long haired male looked shocked, but didn’t even try fighting him about it. Theodora patted nico’s head, causing him to look up at her in curiosity.

“Come on. Let’s go get your medicine.” She said.

“Okay!” Nico said, finally releasing his monkey-like grip and skipping merrily away.

Theodora could only sigh and followed him out of the door. He acted just like his younger sister, Eva, if not exactly like her. Even though he was sometimes a handful, Theodora couldn’t help but smile at Nico and eva’s similarities.

Carefully, Theodora lead Nico to the doctor’s office. As they walked, Nico engaged Theodora into some small talk. At first it was just light hearted, talking about shows and whatnot. But the next question Nico asked caused Theodora to frown deeply.

“Hey, is Jyugo okay?” Nico had asked.

“… I wouldn’t know. They’re keeping him away from people—islolating him. I can’t go see him until Hajime gets back.”

“Dora… sorry, Theo….” Nico spoke softly. Theodora hummed, showing she was listening. “… what’s going to happen to Jyugo…?”

“I don’t know…” Theodora said quietly. “As hard as it is, we’re going to have to put our faith into Hajime for now…” Theodora crossed her arms. “But the warden wants me to talk to him… try to rehabilitate him, in a sense. If I can get him to trust me, I can get him out of that shitty place.”

“So you’ll help me?” Nico asked, trying to summarise what she said.”

Theodora nodded. “Yes, of course.” She ruffled nico’s hair “I care about you guys. I want to help you all in anyway I can. I’ll tell you everything I know, in hopes that one day, you’ll do the same in return…”

Nico tilted his head up, staring at Theodora in slight confusion. She’s not much for catching onto hidden meanings and such, but she did feel like there was a second meaning behind Theodora’s words. Like she was referring to something. It was kind of… off… but before he could ask, they had already made it to the infirmary. Theodora knocked on the door before entering, Nico, following closely behind her.

“Excuse me, Dr. Otogi, it’s Nicci.” Theodora spoke up. “I came here to bring Nico from cell 13, building 13, to you for his daily check ups.”

“Fine…” sighed the elderly man. “I’ll be with him in a moment or two…”

Theodora’s eye shifted towards the other figures in the room. They were two familiar boys that had fought against building 13 in the tournament. Those two would be honey and trois. Theodora was curious as to why they were here, but didn’t question it.

“Hey you’re the pretty boys who lost to Uno in tournament, huh?” Nico said loudly.

‘Of course he would point that out…’ Theodora felt her eye twitch. ‘Sometimes I really do wonder if he’s actually 16… then again, I know men who are even more childish than that, but they have their excuses…. still irrititating though….’

“Quiet, you…!” Snapped the one known as honey.

“Why’re you guys here?” Nico asked, all threatening intent going past his head.

“The injuries we sustained from hyakunin isshu haven’t been healing well.” Said trois as he and honey gazed at their fingers.

“How can you be injured from that…?” Theodora raised a brow, bewildered by his claim.

“It’s pretty bad. Take a look.” He said and held a magnifying glass to them.

Theo took it and held it close to his finger. She and Nico tried observing the supposed injury, but even she was having difficulty finding it. Nico pointed it out and Theodora could only feel her eye twitching in annoyance.

“How many millimetres long do you think that is?” Nico questioned.

“They’ll need to create an even tinier measurement in order to tell.” Theodora sarcastically said and put the magnifying glass down. “Some injury that is. There’s no need to even be here with itty bitty cuts like that.”

“We know, but Kiji insisted that we come here.” Honey said after sighing.

‘Why am I not surprised?’ Theodora thought to herself. “Let me guess…” Theodora adjusted her voice so her could mock kiji’s voice. “‘Upupupu! We wouldn’t want your precious skin to scar now, would we? Upupupu!’ Some shitty reason like that, right?”

“You nailed it…!” Honey said, shaking as both inmates tried not to laugh.

“That was remarkably similar…!” Trois said, trying not to laugh himself.

“When it comes to mimicking, I’m one hell of a guard.” Theodora said and winked at Nico, causing him to silently gasp and grin. She looked to the two inmates and began to take off her white gloves. “Let me show you guys what real sounds look like. Nico, go do your check up, okay?”

“Okay!” He nodded and went to dr. Otogi.

Taking off her white gloves and rolling up her sleeves, she revealed her scarred arms. The two inmates gasped at her, even touching her skin to feel how rough and scarred it was. It was clear they were disturbed, but also fascinated by it.

“I always thought scars would be rough” said trois.

“The rest of the skin is rough, but when following the scars, they’re actually soft.” Honey pointed out.

“How did you get so many?” Questioned trois.

“Eh, not really sure.” Theodora shrugged and pulled her arms away and began to fix her sleeves and gloves. “Some from fights, others from working on a farm with heavy equipment and the rest are just little accidents I stumbled into.”

“How are all those ‘little accidents’?” Questioned honey, finding his casual behaviour about it odd.

“You’re talking Tom a Nicci, don’t question it.” Stated dr, otogi as he had been hearing the entire conversation. “He’s got a genetic disease called HSAN, or hereditary sensory and autonomic neuropathy. It’s a sort of disease that interferes with his nerves from allowing him to feel anything, if you were to give him an ice cube or a burning coal to hold, he wouldn’t know the difference. He’s unable to feel a single thing in his body.”

“Really? I’ve heard about it, but I never really knew what to make of it.” Trois said, clearly surprised.

“Yeah, it’s pretty uncommon.” Theodora said and shrugged. “I get into accidents at lot, a lot of times finding strange cuts or bruises from bumping into things without realising it. I was a real hassle for dr. Otogi when I first got here.”

“And you still are.” Scoffed the old man as he was examining Nico carefully. “You’re just as freakish as this kid here.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Theodora asked, crossing her arms as she didn’t enjoy the words that he used.

“What, you don’t know?” He questioned her. “This kid is affected by those factors around him. He can mimic anybody despite any and all factors. But, it’s nothing to be proud of. Being as weak as he is and all, it’s a miracle that he isn’t dead. You know how deadly qigong is. The medicine he takes prevents him from doing that. When he remembers to take it that is…”

“Hehe… yeeeeaaaah, sorry about that.” Apologised Nico in an embarrassed manner.

“I see.” Said Trois. “So that’s how he was able to fight so well…”

“Remind me not to get on his bad side….” said Honey.

“I promise to take them next time! So, can I have my medicine today, please?” Asked Nico towards the doctor.

“Jeez…” signed the old man before he turned his head to an opened door. “Hey kaguya, can you bring in no.25’s medicine?”

“Yes, doctor.” Spoke a robotic voice.

With a few whirls of gears and a bit of metal clinking, out of the room stood a woman with a tray, holding a bag on top. Well, not a human woman. Kaguya was a machine, created by the doctor and scientist of Nanba prison… the otogi couple. She looked as pink and shiny as always to Theo…. and, as always, the men flocked to her like magnets.

“I’ve brought the requested medicine.” Spoke the Android.

“Woo-hoo! Thank you as always, kaguya!” Exclaimed Nico as he went for his medicine. “What’s today’s flavour?”

“Today’s flavour is ‘cheap candies’.” Replied the robot.

“Yay!” Cheered Nico. “Can I rest my head on your lap again, kaguya?”

“If you’d lend me your hand, I would kiss it.” Honey said as he was down on one knee in a bow.

“Would you care to join us for some tea this afternoon?” Asked Trois, smirking flirtatiously at her.

“And so we can match, I must ask… what colour panties do you plan to wear?” Honey asked passionately.

“I would like to know the type of fashion and percentage of lace used in your bra.” Trois said seductively.

“Trois! Don’t you think that is a bit of over kill to ask her for her bra type?” Honey asked, a frown appearing on his face.

“At least I kept it above the waist.”

“WHAT KIND OF PERVERTS ARE YOU!?!?!?” Shouted Theodora, baffled that someone would even dare as to ask a woman about her undergarments.

“You stay away from my daughter or I’ll dissect all of you!” Threatened the doctor, causing the three to scurry away from him.

“Nico, promise me you’ll stay away from those two.” Theodora spoke softly but also very seriously to him, whilst pinching the bridge of her nose in dispair.

“Um, okay.” Nico innocently nodded, unsure as to why she seemed so protective.

“C’mon, we’re goin’” Theodora said. “Thank you dr. Otogi for your service. We’ll be going now!”

“Hold it, you. How have been the burns on your hands?” Dr. Otogi interrogated her.

“No pain, swelling, or any of the above.” Theodora stayed quickly. “If anything happens, you’ll be the first to know. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

Theo quickly got out of the infirmary with Nico, making their way back to his cell. She could only imagine the vein on her forehead throbbing in irritation. Usually she was one to be okay with something perverted once in a while, but asking a woman about her underwear for a date, regardless if she was human or not, was most definitely not one of them! As she silently imagined beating the two inmate’s heads in, Nico was tossing his medication in as if it was candy. After a while of walking, Theodora noticed that her hands were throbbing. She really had to be wary of that from now on.

“Hey Theo?” Nico spoke up.

“Hm…?” She hummed out, trying to calm himself down.

“Dr. Otogi said you got burns on your hands. Is that why you’re all bandaged up?” Nico asked.

“It used to be… but from working on the farm it made the burns blister. I also broke my finger so I was trying to keep it straight but it’s all better now.” Theodora looked down at her hands. “I bet if I had the proper nerves, I would be feeling pain, but uh.. you know… I don’t.”

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to grow up without feeling pain…” Nico said, causing Theodora to become quiet. “… what was it like?”

“You know how you get pins and needles in your leg and you can’t feel it or move it for a bit?” Nico nodded. “Well it’s a bit like that… except I can move and it’s all over my body.”

“Woah… how did you cope?”

“… that’s a question for another time, okay?” Theodora said softly. “I’m not too comfortable with talking about that…”

“Oh, okay. Sorry” Nico said looking down at his feet.

“No need to apologise.” Theodora said. A mischievous glint flashed in her eyes as she looked down at him. “hey… when we get back to the cell, want to distract Uno for me while I fill up a bucket of water to dump on him?”

“Totally!” Nico exclaimed.

Theodora laughed and high fives him. She wrapped her arm around nico’s shoulder and ruffled his hair as they walked, laughing together as they schemed. Theodora couldn’t help but relate to Nico to his sister Eva, but she knew there were still a lot of differences between them. If anything, Nico would probably be the closest one of the four in cell 13 to relate to her. She couldn’t help but think of him as another little brother.

***

“here you go, Coo.”

“Mreow~~~”

Theodora fed Coo his lunch. Since Hajime was gone, she took it upon herself to feed coo the cat. Coo had taken a liking to her since Hajime had left. She was rather pleased when he stroked against her leg for attention, or laid in her lap while she sat at her desk. No matter what, animals always had a liking to her compared to humans. It was a mutual feeling she held when growing up, but that was understandable. She was wise about it now and has finally found an ability to respect people now.

Just as she stood up from feeding coo, the door to the office swung open by a crying Seitarou. She held her arms out and watched as Seitarou fell into them, clinging to her like a lost child. Honestly, she was used to it at this point.

“Why is everybody so mean to me!?” Sobbed the older man.

“Hey, what’s wrong, Seitarou?” She asked calmly.

“I-I went, to go check on Cell 13,” sniffed Seitarou through gasps of breaths, “and I-I found Building T-Three’s S-S-Supervisor there. A-and, and, AND THEY YELLED AT ME! I only asked if there was a-anything they needed was all…!”

“Again…?” Theodora sighed and stroked Seitarou’s hair, knowing to just let him sob it out. “Just sit down and I’ll go talk to them, okay? I have some gum in my pocket. Want some?”

“S-sure… Thank you, Th-Theo…” Stuttered Seitarou as she gave him a piece of gum.

“Stay here, okay?” She said kindly before exiting the room.

Once out of there, she marched towards Cell 13 and began rolling her sleeves up. She entered, seeing Kiji arguing with Uno. Just catching a small amount of the argument was enough to set her off. She sharply looked at Rock and Nico, seeing them stiffen under her cold gaze.

“Did you two yell at Seitarou?” She asked as Uno and Kiji didn’t even notice her there.

“Nope. It was them.” Nico said and ratted out Uno and Kiji.

“We’re innocent about it this time, we swear.” Rock said, also pointing at Kiji and Uno.

“Thank you.” She turned away from the two.

Not even a second later she marched right over to the two. She went ahead and punched each of their heads, causing the two to hit the ground and hold their heads in pain. An irk mark was clear as daylight on her head.

“That’s for causing Seitarou to cry, AGAIN!” She said and marched towards the door, stopping and pointing right at them. “And for your information, your talk about being more handsome is pathetic. Please take your heads out of your egotistical asses and bring it to your IQ’s. Oh, wait! That’s six feet under the ground! Now you have something to cry about, so go sob it to your imaginary girlfriends, because we all know neither of you got any!”

Theodora, having said what she said, stepped out of the room and slammed the door shut. Clapping her hand together as if to get the dust off of them, she walked right back to the office. Kiji and Uno sulked in the corner, holding the bright red lumps on their heads.

“So brutal…” Uno sobbed softly.

“To think he would hit me too, uhohoho…!” Sobbed Kiji.

“I’ve never seen Theo look so angry…” Rock murmured to Nico. “I’ve seen him annoyed and all, but this…?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty protective of everyone.” Nico whispered back to him. “he told me he always beat up the neighborhood bullies who hurt his siblings…”

“Oh, I get it.” Rock said. “He imagines us as his siblings. He is really strict, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he even disciplined his own siblings…”

Nico nodded his head, agreeing with what Rock said.

But neither Uno or Kiji heard as they were pitying themselves from Theodora’s harshness. To be frank, the two inmates agreed that they both deserved it. Even if Theodora went a bit too far…

***

“…Then I insulted them.”

“Damn, you’re as brutal as ever, eehehe!”

Today was now day three of Hajime’s suspension. And, to be quite frank, Alloisia was so glad that it was Samon. If it was somebody like Mao Nimajita, the Supervisor of Building 2, she was quite confident that she would kill somebody. Theodora explained her run in with Kiji yesterday, having to rant to somebody about it, and Samon was snickering along at her tale.

“Anyways, getting back on track.” Samon coughed into his hand to wipe the smirk off of his face. “Was there any trouble with the inmates besides that?”

“Nope.” Theodora shook her head. “They’ve been good… Except for two newbies who began fighting in the cafeteria yesterday, but Shiro took care of it. The cafeteria can always be trusted to him if anything going on.”

“I don’t doubt it…” Samon said, when in reality he was flat out lying. “…So, how’s it like to have your job back, eh?”

“It feels good.” Theodora said, smiling at the ground, not like he could see. “Very good…”

Samon hummed out just as they got to Cell 13. Using her key, Theodora opened the cell for him. But when he saw how the inmates were inside, he instantly became fuming. If there was one thing Samon hated, it would be lazy inmates.

“GET UP YOU LAZY PUNKS!” He shouted at the three.

“E-easy, Samon!” Theodora said and began blocking his way so he didn’t strangle anybody. “Calm down, man! Kiji went on an angry rant on them yesterday, and it was basically my fault. I had to kick Kiji out of the Cell by one in the morning because he was literally causing them to—”

Theodora stopped at the sound of loud footsteps. Even Samon stopped as they wondered where it was coming from. As if it was a sudden spell, the three inmates yelped in horror and scrammed out of their beds. Just as the two guards began wondering what was going on, they were suddenly shoved to either side as none other than Yamato busted through the door.

“KNOCK KNOCK, GENTLEMEN!” Greeted the noisy Japanese man. “HOW ARE YOU?! ARE YOU ALL READY FOR SOME MORNING TRAINING?!”

Yamato gazed around the room, find the inmates nowhere to be found. Samon and Theodora just stared up at Yamato from their spots on the floor.

“Hold on, they aren’t home.” Yamato’s voice dialed down as he turned to leave. “I must be hearing voices, then. I guess i’ll go then, until next time!”

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Samon shot up and grabbed Yamato’s shoulder to stop him. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, Yamato!”

“Inmates…” Samon pulled Nico out from his hiding spot. “Out of their cells?” He opened a closet to reveal Rock.

Holding his infamous staff, Samon exhaled and slammed the end of it against the ground. This caused Uno to fall from his hiding spot, which was the ceiling. Theodora, back onto her feet, could only gaze at where he had been on the ceiling in confusion.

“You know that’s not possible, Yamato.” Samon said to the other male. “This is Nanba Prison, after all.”

“The hell did he get up there…?” Theodora wondered to herself in shock.

“Oh! There you are, guys!” Happily exclaimed Yamato as he marched closer to the three. “Let’s move onto the training course, shall we?!”

“Don’t make us, I’m begging you!” Uno exclaimed desperately. “I get so sore the next day, don’t make me do it!”

“Exercising is supposed to be leisurely!” Exclaimed Rock while Nico trembled behind the two under a blanket.

“What type of exercises is Yamato making them do…?” Samon asked.

“Deathly brutal ones…” Theodora said darkly, paling herself at the thought of exercising.

“If it’s coming from you then it must be human torture!” Samon exclaimed, shocked by her claim.

“No, not really.” Replied a voice from behind them.

Startled, they both whirled around to see the familiar masked face of Tsukumo, or inmate No.99. Theodora relaxed at the sight of him while Samon was still stiff as a board.

“WHO THE HELL’RE YOU!?” Samon yelled at him.

“My name is Tsukumo, but my designated number is 99.” Said the supposed 'ninja’.

“No.99 loves to exercise, so he’s always with me at this time of day.” Explained Yamato. “He’s very passionate about exercising, it’s fantastic!”

“A Japanese man must train constantly!” Said Tsukumo while nodding. “Yamato’s exercising routine is perfect for my training!”

“Here they go again, the Japanese freaks…” Muttered Uno.

Samon paled at hearing them say that, astonished they were so serious about it. He looked at Theodora to see her standing right behind him, clearly not wanting to join their training.

“I like exercising, I really do, but not when it comes to Yamato…” She said softly so only Samon heard. “I like Yamato and all, great guy really, but he terrifies the shit outta me…”

“Oh, come now, Theo! You’re wonderful when it comes to training! Nothing can reach your limits!” Complimented Yamato, trying to get her to join.

“Nobody can humanly reach his limits because he doesn’t physically give himself any.” Samon stated bluntly as she hid behind him. “Nicci will physically train until he literally drops. By then, he has to be taken to the medics for making himself go unconcious. He won’t be joining your training.”

"THANK YOU!” She exclaimed, still clinging onto Samon.

“Oh, fine! But next time you will be joining us, Alan!” Declared Yamato. “We’ll turn up the heat of it just for you to feel the burn of training hard!”

“PLEASE DON’T!” Theodora and the four inmates yelled in horror.

“Hey, is everything okay in here?” Seitarou popped his head in. “I heard loud yelling, is everybody okay?”

“By the why, do any of you guys heard of how Jyugo’s condition is?” Asked Tsukumo.

“I’m afraid we have…” Uno said, speaking in a heavy tone. “I’m afraid he came down with a terrible case of 'idiopathic-raw-oyster-tremer-cell syndrome.’”

“That sounds quite serious.” Tsukumo said.

'HE’S BUYING THAT BULLSHIT?!’ Theodora screamed in her head in shock at his idiocy.

“The doctors tried everything they can do but in the end…” Nico trailed off, his voice beginning to shake.

“Don’t tell me he…!” Tsukumo’s eyes went wide in shock.

“Don’t sugar coat it…” Uno whimpered, as if prepared to sob.

“He’s dead…” Whispered Rock.

“Such a tragic loss…!” Sniffled Nico.

“Let us spend this day in mourning…” Spoke Uno.

“Jyugo…! No…!” Tsukumo tried not to cry.

“Well, even training can wait for some things…” Yamato said, clasping his hands together in prayer.

“Our condolences…” Seitarou said, doing the same.

“You…” Theodora fumed and punched Uno, Nico, and Rock in the head. “…JERKS!”

They all cried out and held their heads in pain. Theodora was utterly fuming at this point. She understands that they want to get out of training, but they could’ve used a better method! She never likes it when people joke about deaths, especially ones that aren’t even true!

“Don’t fuckin’ make lies like that, you pieces of shit!” She yelled at them, her voice drawing out a strange type of city/italian accent. “There’s nothin’ I hate more than lies like that, you hear me?!” She then pointed at the others except Samon. “And you three! Don’t believe every effin’ word that comes outta their mouths, got it? Jyugo’s still in a coma recoverin’ just fine, okay? He ain’t dead.”

“Oh, that’s relieving.” Tsukumo said, now calming down and turning back to normal.

“And you three…!” She turned to them and grabbed them all by the back of their collars, beginning to drag them away. “I ain’t done with you yet. Think of this trainin’ as punishment for pissin’ me off!”

“Let us go! We’re sorry, okay?!” Begged Uno as he began to try and struggle against her, now becoming irritated by her. “What the hell’s with that accent anyways?! It’s like you’re entirely a different person!”

“Blame my mutha…” Theodora muttered, thinking about how her italian mother talks.

“What, this is just how I talk!” She would exclaim every time Theodora pointed it out. “Everybody in the family talks like this, al'ight. My mutha always talked like this, your aunt always talks like this, y—hey. What'da gigglin’ for?… So what if my 'talk’ sounds like 'chalk!’ *sigh* Child of mine… Just you watch, the olda you get, the more your Italian side will show, capisce?”

“Oh, splendid!” Exclaimed Yamato from behind her, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Good to know we’re all joining! Let’s start off with the usual push ups, sit ups, then running, huh? Then we can go straight for the balance beams, ah ha ha ha!”

'I can’t believe I got myself into this…’ Theodora murmured in her thoughts. 'I am not prepared for “the burn"… My hands have already had enough of that. I’m not joining, but these bastards are…’

***

"Oh, Supervisor! It’s good to see you after three days.”

“Please don’t leave again…”

“Why? Were there any problems while I was gone?”

“No, I guess… The three didn’t find out anything, but it was stressful…”

Today was finally the day that Hajime would come back from his trip. Theodora never thought she would be glad to see Hajime back again. After yesterday she felt guilty about harming the guys, but she was very defensive when it comes to saying stuff like 'someone died’ when in reality they’re completely fine. Plus they were trying to use it as an excuse to escape training, which was something she will not stand for.

But afterwards she ended up getting teased by Samon because she went 'mafia’ on them. It was a huge inside joke between them and a few inmates. But she honestly can’t say she was too proud of it. Either way, she was just grateful Hajime was back. But… she was concern for Jyugo.

“Of course. This job isn’t some luxury after all.” Hajime told her, probably jabbing at the fact she was almost fired. “I’m assuming you took care of most of the hard work?”

“…Kinda, I guess.” She shrugged her shoulders. “The inmates of Cell 13 have been real feisty lately. Well, Uno has been. The other two have been honestly quiet. It’s quite clear that they’re concerned for Jyugo…”

“Speaking of No.15, are you going to see him, sir?” Seitarou asked.

“Yep.” Hajime said and looked at Theodora. “But, I’ve got a job for you to do.”

“Huh…?” She lifted her head up, confused as to why he would say that.

“C'mon.” He gestured her to follow him, which she immediately did. “Head over to Building 4. I spoke to Kenshirou a bit earlier today, and he said he wanted you to come with him to speak to No.634.”

“What? Why?” Theodora asked, almost in a defensive manner. “That guy fried my hands, and almost cost me my job. I’ve got nothing to say to that brat…”

“Yeah, well,” Hajime sighed in clear annoyance. “Kenshirou begs to differ. I think he only wants you to go and talk with him because of 'your way with words’. If you can get that guy to trust you, then we might be able to interrogate with him properly.”

“You guys put way too much faith into my words.” Theodora groaned softly behind him. “You make it sound like I can make people trust me by blinking my eyes. It takes time for them to put their faith into me. Hell, it took Jyugo a week or two to trust me.”

“Yeah, because you kissed the kid.” Hajime shot at her. “Of course he would hardly trust you after that. He thought you were a man who was trying to sexually assault him.”

Theodora made a noise in the back of her throat, clearly displeased he brought that up. She was really hoping he would let that go. Releasing a sigh to calm herself and a scratch to her head, she got back on track of the conversation.

“…Fine. I’ll go see Kenshirou.” She grumbled reluctantly. “He’s in Building 4, yeah? I’m guessing his little arsonist is being held tightly underground over there. But I swear to god, if he even tries torching me again, I’ll make sure it’ll be forever impossible for him to procreate ever again…”

Hajime silently cringed at her claim, remembering how she had kicked No.634 so hard that practically every man felt that pain. Didn’t help that she’s got inhumain strength…

Eventually she departed with Hajime and went to Building 4 as quick as she could. Getting there she was greeted by his guard dogs. As tempted as she was to pet them, she refrained from doing so. They kinda have a grudge against her anyways so that’s out of the question…

Walking through Building 4, she went straight down to the Underground, knowing exactly how to get there. After all, she did get thrown down once in awhile. Once she descended downwards, she was quick to find Kenshirou standing at the entranced into the underground. She could only assume he was waiting on her.

“I see that you finally arrived.” Kenshirou said, as if he was annoyed with her. “Took you long enough for you to get here…”

“It isn’t like my building is your next door neighbor, Kenshirou.” She said calmly. “Anyways, you wanted me to come to help interrogate…?”

“That’s right.” Kenshirou nodded to her. “But, let me do the talking. If you feel the need to interject then go ahead. If you could get No.634 to trust you well enough, then we would be in a bit of an advantage. You tend to have the ability to rub your emotions onto people, so if you can do that here and make him calm, we might just get somewhere…”

“So, I’m practically worthless here.” Theodora said bluntly. “I know you’re great at your own interrogations and all, but I find it hard to believe that you just want my help to make friends with him. Is there something else you want from me?”

“Not really.” Kenshirou said. “But, I wouldn’t mind a second opinion on the matter. Think of it as your training as an officer. No.634 refuses to talk unless he can talk to No.15.” This grabbed her attention. “Hajime will be interrogating No.15 while we’ll be doing the same to No.634. We’ll allow the two to talk, but…” He holds up a large walkie-talkie. “Not face to face, of course. After that, I’m sure we can grill him of everything he knows…”

“…Okay, I see you strategie…” Theodora muttered. “But what happens if the conversation goes sour? What’ll we do if either of them go out of whack?”

“That’s why you’re here.” Kenshirou said simply. “I’ll be relying on you to keep the conversation calm. Can I trust you enough to turn the conversation around if it starts getting bad?”

“…Yeah, alright.” Theodora nodded. “I’ll do my best to keep it calm and peaceful. If it’s through the walkie, I can probably calm Jyugo down too if it gets bad. I don’t want Hajime hurting him again… I’ll follow your lead…”

Kenshirou nodded to her before turning around. She quietly followed him through the underground. There honestly wasn’t many inmates underground, but there was enough to make her be careful. Once they got to Musashi’s cell, she was surprised he didn’t really appear to be… hostile. He was restrained to the wall, unable to really escape. She wondered if he could melt those cuffs off if he wanted to…

“No.634, are you comfortable in there?” Kenshirou spoke coldly, knowing not to let his guard down with this guy.

“Yeah, if I think this could get any more dark, wet, and tight I’d think I’d be stuck in your ass.” Commented Musashi with a smirk clear as day on his face. “Makes me miss the good old days in solitary.”

“File a formal complaint. And how did you know it was dark?” Questioned Kenshirou.

“Lucky guess.” Musashi shrugged. He paused, as if listening carefully. “Who’s the second one—the guy behind you? I know that ain’t Jyugo… Did you bring a bodyguard for protection? How cute.”

“Nah, he just figured that he should bring the bitch who destroyed your balls.” Theodora said snarkily, her own smirk curling onto her lips.

Musashi made a sound and jolted against his restraints, as if trying to move away from her. It honestly made her feel delighted he was uncomfortable with her, but it wasn’t why she was here. Theodora sighed, wiping away any hatred emotions she had and stayed calm. Kenshirou would beat her ass if she riled the inmate up.

“Look. We’ll give you a chance to talk to Jyugo, but only on the condition to tell us everything that we want to know.” Theodora said, now becoming serious. “Don’t leave a single detail out. I wanna hear everything you know…”

“Fine. That was our deal from the start anyways.” Musashi said. “Now can you girls hurry it along? I want to hear Jyugo talk, not you.”

'Yeah, he’s a little shit…’ Theodora thought and looked to Kenshirou. The older man took out the walkie-talkie and placed it right to the outside of the cell. He informed Musashi that this will be how he can talk to Jyugo. Turning it on, Musashi waited a moment before he could talk.

“Hi, Jyugo. Can you hear me?” Called out Musashi, as if he was taunting him. “I guess you’re still in the infirmary, huh? Enjoy that bed while you can…”

“Get to the point, 634.” Kenshirou ordered him. “If this is just a social call I’ll end it.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’ll talk.” Sighed the inmate. “I’ll just cut the crap and let it all out now, alright. What I’m lookin’ to talk about, it the man with the scar. You said you were lookin’ for him, right? Well, to tell him the truth, so am I. I was wondering how much you know about him. How old is he? Have you heard his voice, or seen his face? Whatcha got?”

“No, I don’t.” Growled Jyugo’s voice from the walkie. “That’s what I was hoping to learn from you… I know he has a scar on his neck, and that he’s the one who put me into these 'shackles.’ Aside from that, nothing.”

“Well, boo.” Musashi said and hanged his head as if disappointed. “I kinda figure that it would be all you would tell me, but I figured it was worth checking.”

'You bastard…! You destroyed an entire area and provoked the kid just to have some talk?! What the hell…!’ Theodora fumed in her thoughts.

“The whole reason you want to find this guy is for him to take those shackles off you, right?” Musashi questioned him. “That’s all you want?”

“That’s right.” Jyugo replied, his tone sounding bored or flat. “If he can get these things off, there’s nothing that’ll stop me from getting these things off…”

“So he bust off your shackles and then what? You’re done?” Musashi asked him.

“Yeah…” Jyugo replied. Theodora found that rather strange.

Musashi chuckled, only to go out into full out laughter. He was kicking his feet in the air like it was the most hilarious thing he’s heard in decades. But, Theodora could tell he was pissed…

“That’s all you want?!” Musashi yelled at him through the walkie. “You seriously hulked out on me and blew your cover over something that STUPID?! Ha! If you wanted those damn things off than you might as well cut your hands and feet off! Oh right, there’s one on you neck. Ahahaha!”

Theodora was about to slam her fist against the bars, but was stopped by Kenshirou. She glared at him, seeing that he was telling her 'no’. Getting the point, she pulled her arm away, and listened to Musashi.

“I knew somethin’ was off about you!” Musashi growled at Jyugo. “You got no use for those shackles, Jyugo. I really wish you’d let me have 'em…!”

“Musashi, why’re you so obsessed with taking my shackles?” Jyugo asked. “What do you want them for?”

“Ahahaha!” Laughed Musashi. “The shackles themselves don’t mean anything to me. If it means to an end, that’s all. All they are is a way to get closer to that man, and when I make sure that I do, I can kill him!”

Jyugo made a surprised sound, probably surprised by Musashi’s declaration. “You want to KILL him…? Why take it that far…?”

“When he first put those shackles on you and forced you to take that form, what did you think…?” Musashi asked. “You felt like a monster, right? I felt the same… The difference is that I’ve been like that for as long as I can remember. It wasn’t a power, per say. For all practical purposes, I was diseased. You can’t imagine who I had to suffer through the peculiar constitution I was born with…!”

Theodora had calmed by Musashi’s words, now finding this story interesting. But at the same time, it made her feel like she could empathize with him. 'Maybe… Just maybe…’

“I was in constant pain, afraid of the next explosion.” Musashi continued. “Then the man with the scar showed up. He said he was a scientist, and promised to release me of my suffering. But that wasn’t what he planned to do. He just wanted to use my physical idiosyncrasy for his own research…”

“That can’t be… Your powers are way beyond science…” Jyugo whispered in clear shock.

“Think about who we’re dealing with here, Jyugo.” Musashi said. “Those shackles he slapped you with are beyond science, too. Beyond normal science, anyways. But he isn’t normal—augmenting the human body means nothing to him! I started out as a freak, but once he was done with me I turned into a bonafide monster… Straight from the fires of hell and able to control them… I tried torching his ass, but he sliced right through my flames with those same blades of yours, Jyugo. That’s how I lost my right eye, too… That’s how it went down for me. Kinda feels like we’re in a support group, right?”

“Are you saying… the man with the scar had a pair of shackles like mine…?” Jyugo questioned.

“You got it.” Musashi smirked. “His blades were exactly like yours, and I would know.”

“You’re telling me there are two sets of these things…?!” Growled Jyugo before he screamed in anger. “DAMN HIM…!”

“Do you understand what I want those shackles now?” Musashi asked him.

“Yeah… I get it…” Jyugo muttered, still probably seeming with anger. “You need a way to match his power…”

“Bingo~” Musashi sang. “You have a very special weapon, Jyugo… The only blades in the world that can cut through my flames. Imagine if I had that weapon! With it and my fire, I’d be pretty strong. If I can use his own tool against him along with my fire, I could manage to take him down, don’t chya think?”

“That’s some stupidly optimistic thinking.” Jyugo stated bluntly. “You don’t even know if that’s possible.”

“I don’t care…” Musashi said. “If there’s even a chance of success, then I’ll use it to end his life. He won’t get away with what he’s done. I’ll make him pay. And if I die too, so be it. As long as I get to murder that bastard first… I’m willing to walk myself to the gallows! Well, that’s how I used to think…”

“What.” Theodora spoke up, clearly surprised by his sudden change in attitude and speech.

“Wait… is that…?”

“It’s impossible now. I can’t light up anymore.” Musashi answered and shrugged casually, not letting Jyugo wonder if Theodora was there. “It’s pretty weird. It’s all a little fuzzy but, I think the doctors here put something in me. I don’t know what, like a… computer chip? When it detects the heat given off before ignition it automatically suppresses my powers. I actually tried, of course, but I can’t seem to trigger it. It was an old coot and an old hag with a sailor’s mouth.”

'OF COURSE IT WAS THEM!’ Theodora facepalmed, knowing she shouldn’t be at all surprised. 'But… I would be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved by it… At least I can be at ease, knowing he can’t harm any innocents in an escape attempt…’

“Seriously…? They can do something like that?” Jyugo questioned.

“It’s the Otogi couple, of course they can.” Theodora found herself speaking up as she was rubbing her own head in irritation. “Always developing new technology—never satisfied with how it is now. As much as I’m grateful for them, I’m just as annoyed that they’re still the same old bats that they are…”

“Ha! Sounds like you got some personal problems of your own.” Musashi said.

“Well, that isn’t wrong…” Theodora murmured, finally calming down.

“Is… Is that Theo… As in, the guard Theo…?” Jyugo questioned.

The girl sighed softly and bent down to the ground next to the walkie-talkie. “Yeah, it’s me. Good to know you’re as flat sounding as ever.”

“Why’re you over there…?!” Jyugo asked, suddenly seeming fired up.

“It’s not like I wanna be.” Theodora replied calmly. “Since I’m a newbie still I was brought down here for an 'example’. Believe me, I rather be other there and seeing how you’re doing than over here…”

“O-oh…” Murmured Jyugo. “A-anyways, back to the topic here. Musashi, what’re you getting at here? I don’t get your point in all this. If you know it’s impossible then why’re you all telling me this now?”

“I don’t know. Guess I just felt like it?” Musashi said and shrugged, clearly having a deeper meaning to his words. “Maybe I was just curious in you learning about all this would make you feel? I’ll catch ya later, sweety~”

Theodora clicked the walkie-talkie off, annoyed that Jyugo is oblivious as ever. Grabbing the object, she handed it to Kenshirou as her mind whirled with the information Musashi gave. It actually made a lot of sense, but it angered her that they caused so much trouble that could’ve been avoided. They’re lucky that nobody got hurt with their recklessness.

“Hey, Inu, mind letting these cuffs off?” Musashi called out to them. “My arms hurt and I’m tired.”

“Idiot, I can’t do that.” Kenshirou snapped at him, angered by his rudeness.

“…Inu, eh?” Theodora smirked at Kenshirou. “Sounds perfect to me.”

“Don’t encourage him, you’re a guard, not an inmate anymore.” Snapped the man.

“Oh, just because I’m a guard doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop teasin’ you guys.” She said and waved at him. It was clear Kenshirou was regretting bringing her here. “Anyways, you might as well let the dude out of those cuffs. He can’t use his powers, much less fight either of us. Plus, he might be more willing to tell us more if you let him out of the cuffs…”

Kenshirou stared at her for a moment before turning to the nearby control panels. “If anything goes wrong, you’re to blame…”

“I’ll be surprised if you don’t blame me.” She commented, watching as the cuffs released Musashi’s arms.

“Phew… This feels way better.” Musashi said, rubbing his arms and wrist and standing from his spot. “Thanks.”

“Now, time for you to hold your end of the deal.” Theodora said colding, surprising the man. “Now, this is what I understand from your story. You were born with the problem of human combustion and it was a nuisance to your life. After a lot of incidents, you got caught by the police, right? That man with the scar explicitly targeted you because of your powers. Any idea why?”

“Hell if I know.” Musashi responded, stepping closer to the bars. “I think he was just usin’ me as a toy. Something to make time go by…”

“Hm…” Theodora clicked her tongue, clearly not believing it. “You’re smart, right? Think with that head of yours. What made you a target? How did you get caught by the police, and how many of those incidence happen? I don’t believe that the guy who messed with your body is your only grudge against him. I find it hard to believe that one man can simple do all this hell without the slightest bit of help. Was there something that stood out, did he have an accomplice, did he have a strange accent—we need to know, Musashi. So, tell me every. Single. Detail.”

“You’re straight forwards,” Musashi comment and smirked again. “Fine… You really wanna know that bad? Well, I’ll tell you…”

Musashi went into detail, just like Theodora ordered him to do. She actually sat down on the ground and listened, hearing about how he grew up and how he had a harsh life. She really did begin to empathize with him. Yes, it was hard going through being called a freak, but it didn’t sound so bad until he got to college. It really did go down to hell from there on. Once he finished his tale, she honestly pitied him. Seeing him, sitting down cross legged just like she was reminded her of a child. He was just some broken kid who got his life practically ruined by a selfish, inhumain person…

“…All of that was true, not like I can prove it.” Musashi finished his story. “The prison ended up burning down. There’s no evidence of what happened there. I don’t really expect you to believe me… I lost at any chance of revenge once my flames were taken from me. But knowing that is strangely relaxing… That’s not to say my thirst for revenge is finished. But if I’m being honest, I wish I came here a lot sooner… Just kidding.”

“No, I believe you.” Theodora stated, clearly shocking the man. “I know when a person’s lying. And, you’re being down right honest. You did what I asked and kept our deal. Plus… with your information, and whatever information Jyugo may have, we can commend an investigation to be taken place and hunt down that bastard who did this to you guys. Who knows how many people he harmed…”

“Wait, hold on.” Musashi spoke up. “You seriously trust me? Just like that? No interrogation, or even threats of violence?”

“Why would I do that?” Theodora asked him. “Us guards aren’t here to beat the living shit out of you guys. Our jobs are to make sure you follow the rules and protect you from any sort of threats. That’s our job. I care about the inmates here, alright? I care about every single person who can be changed for the better. Not everyone here is some psychopathic douche who needs to be restrained and kept away from the world. There are people out there, just like you, who grew up a shitty life and either got framed or went down a dark road. I know because I went through a lot of shit you went through.”

“Really…?” Musashi mumbled in disbelief.

“Mm-hm…” She nodded her head. “Ever heard of hereditary sensory and autonomic neuropathy, or HSAN? It’s a genetic disease that prevents me from sensing the difference between hot and cold, soft or rough. I can hardly feel pain and my 'limits’ are inhumanly high because I can’t give myself any. I’m a freak who can’t feel shit. People hated me as I grew up since I couldn’t control my strength properly. The only ones who cared and supported me would be my family. I’ve been tested on by many doctors, most wondering just how it works or, just seeing what I can do. My dad, who’s actually an immigrant, knew how to help me. My mother sometimes lost her temper with me, but would come back and try again with me. Growing up as a freak was hard since nobody liked me. Eventually I went down a dark path and ended up in prison multiple times. Then, I ended up in Nanba. They straightened me out and I served my sentence. Now, here I am, working as a guard and doing a lot better.”

“That’s almost comical to hear.” Musashi said. “Sounds too good to be true. Are you seriously not lyin’?”

“Believe what you wish.” Theodora shrugged. “But just know that I never lie about my past. By the way, you said you were born in Germany, right?”

“Yeah, what of it?” Musashi asked.

“How’s it like over there?” She asked, her eyes holding a type of shine to them. “My mom is italian while my father was an immigrant from Germany. He’s told us stories about living there, so I’m genuinely curious about it.”

“Seriously…?” Musashi looked so puzzled and confused. “How does this conversation go from you telling about how you can empathize with me, to you being fascinated by me being raised in Germany?”

“Who knows.” Theodora innocently shrugged while smiling. “I’m just some freak after all, but that’s okay. I learned my mistakes and paid the price for them. Now, it’s up to me to make up all the time I wasted in jail.”

“Huh…” Musashi shook his head at her. “You really are strange. Especially from being a criminal and becoming a guard. That’s some type of shit you’d hear in a show or somethin’.”

“Recently I’ve been getting that a lot, too, haha.” Theodora chuckled in amusement. “But, just know that you’re honestly not alone, okay? You said you wanted revenge on the man with the scar. Well… Help us figure out more about him and that accomplice of his. If something comes to mind—an accent, or the type of cologne he wears—tell us. If you want your revenge so bad, help us throw that guy’s ass in jail.”

“Huh…?” Musashi looked confused, or at least surprised by her.

“What he says is true.” Kenshirou finally spoke up after so long. “Seeing your abilities and No.15’s blades are enough proof that your story is true. I’d be a damn fool if I didn’t believe it. Also, it wouldn’t be the first rumor that I’ve heard of inmates being used for human experience. In fact, that was the subject I was working on in my days with the police.”

“Seriously?” Musashi looked surprised. “If that’s true then why…”

“Why haven’t I done something about it?” Kenshirou finished his sentence before explaining. “Because much like you I was unable to convince anyone that it was real. I recovered numerous reports of my findings but the accounts I gathered were rejected. My superiors labeled them as 'baseless rumors.’ Over time, I gathered this was a subject they weren’t interested in. I know a cover up when I see one. My hands were tied as a policeman so I resigned—continued my investigation as a correctional officer. I won’t stop until I expose the truth.”

“So you’re willing to go that far, eh?” Musashi said, looking amused. “I guess the time will be well worth it when you showed them you were right.”

“Wrong~” Theodora sang, catching Musashi off guard. “You honestly don’t know a damn thing about Kenshirou if you believe that’s the case…”

“Whadda mean?” Musashi asked.

“I will not turn my eye to wanted corruption.” Kenshirou stated. “There are crimes worse than perverting the justice system for personal gain. And these experiments are in flagrant disregard of human rights. Such acts are grossly immoral… I swore an oath to uphold the law. These repulsive criminals will not be allowed to walk free! They must face justice…!”

“You’re getting kind of intense…” Musashi commented. “You might care about this more than I do.”

“Good to know you’re finally catching on.” Theodora jokingly said and got back onto her feet. “Even I can’t allow something like that to happen any longer. Turning people into criminals just to use for their own personal gain… It’s sickening. Those bastard do deserve to die, but not until they pay for it in a court of law and are imprisoned themselves. No matter what, justice will always prevail in the end…”

“The people who did this to you…” Kenshirou kneeled down and held out his hand to Musashi. “…They will be punished, I swear it.”

“I’ve been hiding this since I’ve got here, and there are plenty of reasons why I might lie to you…” Musashi said, clearly confused. “Why take me and my word for it?”

“You’re basically all we have.” Theodora stated calmly. “You’re just a victim in this, just like many others. I don’t doubt that you could be lying, but I rather take your word or it. I want your words to be true. Because if they are, it just means that we have the ability now to go after those men and punish them for their wrong doings. We’re putting our bets on you, Musashi. But we can’t do that, if you don’t trust us…”

Musashi was silent for a moment, seeming to contemplate what they were saying. Eventually, his usual smirk found it’s way back onto his face.

“Huh…” He muttered. “Ever since I was put in your care, there’s something I’ve always thought… I’ve been wanting to say this for a while now…” Musashi had his hand into a fist and placed it onto Kenshirou’s open palm. “…You’re way too serious, man.”

Theodora could only smirk, glad that he actually put his trust in them. She could tell that even Kenshirou was content with what he said.

“It wasn’t easy but you finally learned how to shake.” Kenshirou said, surprising the two next to him. “Good boy.”

“Wait a minute, what do you mean 'learn to shake’!?” Musashi asked. “I am not a dog to teach tricks to!”

“It was a joke.” Kenshirou said.

“No one’s laughing!” Musashi exclaimed.

“Actually, I’m laughing,” Theodora giggled, having her arm hugging her stomach.

“THEN STOP LAUGHING!” He yelled at her, causing her to laugh even louder. He pulled his hand away from Kenshirou, placing it on his head, and sighed. “Ugh… You sound like such a girl but it’s hard to tell…”

“Huh…?” Theodora immediately stopped and listened to him.

“What do you mean by that?” Kenshirou questioned.

“You said before you were the person who kicked me where the sun doesn’t shine, right?” Musashi said pointing at Theodora. “Back then you yelled at me for calling you a 'woman’. Then you come here and say that you are. But… I’m just not getting that. Your voice isn’t much help since you change your pitch all the time, and the vibrations from the ground is just… weird. So, tell me the trust: are you a girl or a boy?”

“I’m not allowed to answer that, but…” Theodora bent down and grabbed his arm, placing it right under the sleeve of her left arm. “…Are the vibrations telling you now?”

Musashi waited a moment before letting out a soft surprise sound. Theodora just chuckled and pulled her arm away, holding her hands behind her back and straightening up. She looked to Kenshirou as he stood up as well.

“May I go back to my building now?” She asked him.

“Yes, you may.” Kenshirou nodded. “I’ll lead you out of here.”

“Alright.” She looked to Musashi. “Goodbye, Musashi. Maybe if Kenshioru will allow it I’ll try to visit again.”

“I’ll think about it…” Muttered the man before walking.

Theodora rolled her eyes and began following him. They didn’t speak until they were out of the underground. Since Musashi’s senses are rather heightened, she didn’t want him knowing what she was saying to Kenshirou.

“That went surprisingly well.” She commented.

“Yes it did.” Kenshirou agreed and looked down at her. “It appears that, once again, you have gain the trust of another inmate by just talking. You truly are something…”

“Yeah, well…” Theodora sighed. “You probably would’ve gotten your results without me. I still don’t get why you wanted me to come down…”

“Because…” Kenshirou eyed her sharply. “You have the ability to help rehabilitate the inmates. That’s why I asked for your help.”

Theodora just stared back at him, surprised by his answer. She never really had much faith in her 'ability’ because it’s just her casually talking. They make it sound like a big deal when all she does is just treating them like a human being. Looking away from Kenshirou, she gazed at the hall before her.

“…I’ll be honest,” she spoke up. “I wanted to punch him so hard for doing what he did. Hurting Jyugo, destroying the stadium—seriously, what the hell! If he just wanted to talk to him about it he should’ve just talked to him, damnit!”

“For once, I agree…” Kenshirou muttered. “But, we did get a lot more information than we asked for. Enough to make it into a case…”

“Want me to make a report?” Theodora asked him.

“Please do.” Kenshirou said, looking her dead in the eye. “I’ll need all the support I can get on this. I trust that you will try gathering information yourself…?”

“Leave it to me…” She said smirking at him. 'That bastard’s gonna pay for hurting Jyugo and Musashi the way he did. I bet there’s countless other victims, too… I’ll make him pay, just you watch…’

***

Scribble scribble scribble.

“Aaaaand done…!”

Theodora leaned back into her chair, putting her hands on her face and groaning into them. As soon as she got back to Building 13 she began writing diligently on that report Kenshirou asked her to do. She wanted it done as soon as possible. She closed the report and clipped it together so the papers wouldn’t escape the folder. The story she learned from Musashi had left a bad taste in her mouth.

A man who is only known for the 'scar on his neck’. It was horizontal, then was crossed with three lines going down. As if someone sliced him on the back of the neck. 'It’s quite a dangerous place to get injured in…’ He’s a scientist, or doctor. Either way, he is highly intelligent. Probably disturbed as well, but no one can see it. To classify him, the word would have to be 'sociopath’. He’s very disturbed but he doesn’t show it, and probably has lots of awards and is well respected.

But for his associate… 'Elf’… He’s probably one as well. But, he is just an underling from how Musashi talked. He ruined Musashi’s life, wasting his time on going to the same college and trapping Musashi to a life of crime. He likes blabbing his mouth, and gets carried away with it. 'But I think it’s more to it than that…’

“Oi, Nicci.”

“Huh?”

Snapping out of her thoughts, Theodora spun around in her chair to see that Hajime called her. She pushed her lingering thoughts on Musashi’s past and focused on Hajime instead. She hadn’t seen him since he told her to go see Kenshirou this morning. It was already past lunch.

“Yeah, Hajime?” She questioned, showing her attention was on him.

“An inmate just requested to talk to you.” Hajime said and thrusted his thumb over his shoulder. “He requested to talk in private with you, so keep your radio on if something happens. He’s waiting in one of the vacant cells down the hall. It’s Cell 123.”

“They want to talk…?” Theodora muttered, her eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. “Who’s asking for me?”

“The idiot asked me not to say…” Grumbled Hajime. “Don’t worry. This is someone you get along with, so don’t worry. I can’t believe I’m doing this for him…”

“O-kaaaay…” Theodora muttered before standing up. “Strange, but whatever. I’ll go see the person, whoever the hell it is…”

“Hold it.” Hajime order as she was about to walk by.

She stopped and faced him, only to watch his hands grab either side of her mask and take it off. She was bewildered by he would do that considering the fact that the Warden used it as a reason to fire her! It’s only been four days since then, she wants to keep her job, thank you!

“W-what’re you—”

“You have a knack for yapping your mouth off.” Hajime stated bluntly. “Plus, I figured you might want this off when talking to the kid. You’re still staying in Building 13, so it’s not like the Warden will see. Not get going.”

“Uh… Alright…” Theodora muttered softly.

Being genuinely confused, she exited the office and went towards Cell 123. As she walked to the cell, her mind began whirling in confusion. Why would ask for her specifically? All the inmates know her by now, and all of them tolerate her, so it could be anyone. Hajime said 'kid,’ so that limits it down. But who could it—

Theodora found herself right outside of the cell. She stared at the sign before looking at the door. He said he knew the person, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t have her guard down. Being cautious, she grabbed her key and opened the door. Stepping inside of the cell, she was shocked to see who was in it.

“Oh, you came.” Spoke none other than Jyugo. “Took you long enough…”

She blinked at him, unable to respond.

“U-um… You… uh…” Jyugo felt like his skin was burning under her eyes.

The door behind her swung close, locking the two inside. Jyugo stared back at her, wondering what was going on with her. She just… wasn’t talking. Standing there, staring. It was honestly creeping him out and making him feel more nervous than before.

“Are you just gonna stand there all day, or…?” Jyugo spoke, wanting her to do something.

“JYUGO!” She basically screeched, startling the poor boy.

Theodora lunged forwards, wrapping her arms tightly around Jyugo, almost knocking him down to the ground. Jyugo could help but feel flustered. Even when he saw the guys again none of them showed him affection such as this. Plus, nobody ever hugged him like this so…

“Are you okay!?” She asked, pulling back and cupping both of his cheeks. “You’ve been out for days! I’m not seeing scars, so that’s good… Did Hajime hurt? I swear to god I’ll skin that bald gorilla—”

“H-hey, take it ease!” Jyugo exclaimed, trying to calm her down. “I’m fine, I’m fine! If I wasn’t okay I wouldn’t be out of the Underground cells by now…”

Theodora was quiet for a moment before hugging him again. Jyugo, not really knowing what to do, just kinda wrapped his arms around her in an awkward manner.

“I’m so glad you’re okay…!” She whispered to him. She pulled away and held his shoulders so he would still be looking at her. “You had me worried for so long. I thought Hajime really killed you for a moment there… Thank god you’re fine, ugh…”

“U-uh, yeah, s-sorry…” Jyugo muttered.

Theodora smiled widely at him and laughed lightly. She released his shoulders and stepped back. “Sorry, about that. I, uh… couldn’t help it. I’m just… I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I-it’s fine…” Jyugo said. “I saw the guys earlier… They told me a lot about you. Uh… I heard you lost your job when I was still out of it…”

“Oh, yeah, that…” Theodora frowned before smiling. “Yeah, that’s a bit of a long story… Which, you honestly deserve to know. So, um, where to start…”

“Wait,” Jyugo spoke up a bit louder than before, causing Theodora to stare at him and let him talk. “I, uh… I need to say this, to you especially. I’m sorry, for everything… At the New Year’s festival I went completely berserk and tried to harm everybody. I swung at you so many times, and yet you still kept trying to stop me and calm me down… I hurt your hands, trying to… hurt Uno… I’m a complete idiot, and I have no idea how to make that up to you. So, please…” He bent down to the ground in a begging position, his head practically touching the floor. “…Please allow me to start over…”

Theodora stared at him for a moment. She got onto her knees and tapped his head, forcing Jyugo to look up at her. She smiled widely at him, completely catching him off guard.

“It takes a lot for someone to admit that they were wrong.” She said, her voice soft and calming. “For you to come here and explicitly tell that to me directly takes a lot of courage. I commend you for that.” Her hand went to the side of his head and ruffled his hair affectionately. “I’ve already forgiven you, Jyugo. I never blamed you in the first place. Don’t you worry about any of it, okay?”

Jyugo could only stare at her in shock. He tilted his head down, his body beginning to tremble as he tried not to cry again, especially in front of her. Theodora, taking notice, wrapped her arms around him again while chuckling.

“It’s okay.” She said softly to him. “Sometimes we all need to just cry. Just let it out, Jyugo, let it out…”

Now it was basically impossible to keep it in anymore.

Jyugo hid his face against her collarbone, tears just falling down his face again as he was sobbing another round. His hands were grabbing fistfulls of her jacket as if it was his lifeline. Theodora just held him, listening to his violent sobs and cries. She was rubbing his back, just like she would do to anybody really, while her other hand stroked his short black hair.

She didn’t dare to move until Jyugo did. She stayed in that position with him for who knows how long. Eventually, he eased up, his eyes not watering anymore and he became very quiet. The only thing Theodora could hear would be his breathing through his mouth, but that was understandable. The grip on her jacket was released and now lightly placed on her back. The teen’s head just rested against her chest, once again hearing and quietly listening to her heartbeat.

'It’s so… calmly… and warm…’ He thought, unable to really comprehend anything.

Theodora just kept stroking his hair while her other hand rubbed his back up and down. It was a deja vu moment for her, remembering how her siblings would always cry. It was literal instinct at this point in time of what to do. Eventually Jyugo pulled away, hiding his face by looking at the ground as his bangs concealed his face.

“S-sorry…” He whispered softly.

“Don’t apologize. It’s okay.” Theodora said and patted his head twice, causing him to look at her. “To be honest, I’m used to it thanks to Seitarou…”

Jyugo let out a small laugh, putting his hand against his face to hide it. Theodora giggled softly with him and tugged on her sleeve. She forced his head up to face her as she wiped his eyes from the tear stains and any snot that hanged.

“Don’t worry about anything, okay?” She said softly to him. “I bet the guys did the same as me. But, I doubt about of them let you sob it out, huh? Sometimes we just need to let it out, you know? So don’t be afraid to cry. You’re human, Jyugo. You have every right as a living being to cry. Do you feel better now?”

“Yeah… Thanks…” Muttered Jyugo as he wiped his own face with his sleeve. “I didn’t mean to ruin your jacket…”

“Ah, screw it.” She said and began to take it off. “It needed a washing anyways. Don’t matter to me. I’ve got five of them.”

“Wha… Why so many?” Jyugo asked.

“I keep ruining them.” Theodora said and got her jacket off and placed it next to her. “I keep getting snagged by corners without realizing and I end up ripping them. I’ve ruined about three this past week. Three. Seitarou was so shocked to see just how ruined they got he said I could cosplay as a walking zombie.”

Jyugo chuckled at her tale, finding it ridiculous how she managed to do that. “That’s a lot of money, huh?”

“Oh well.” Theodora shrugged and rolled her eyes.

The teen eventually stopped laughing and instead began to stare at her. “You… really are a woman, huh?”

“Yes, I am…” Theodora nodded her head. She took her hat off and began ruffle her short hair. “If I wanted to be a guard, I would have to conceal my identity. This is a prison full of men, so it was for my own safety. I talked to the others about it and they promised to keep silent about it. Back when I was 15 I took a dark road and tried to physically change my gender, which didn’t work out so well. My gender was hidden from everyone until exams came, then I was found out. I refused to get moved, so the guards ended up keeping it a secret and I continued to act like a male for four years. Once my sentence was served, I went back to being a normal female.”

“Sheesh… That sounds harsh.” Jyugo muttered.

“Not as bad as some other things but, eh.” Theodora shrugged. “By the way, my real name is TheodorA, not Theodore. But, since I’m still a guard here, you will have to call me Theo still. Nico doesn’t listen and keeps calling me Dora, but, whatever…”

“Theodora…” Jyugo tried the name out. “Not really much change from Theodore I guess…”

“I had to keep my gender a secret, but I ended up getting revealed thanks to the tournament, Because of that, I was fired. But, thanks to a lot of Supervisors, they convinced the Warden to let me stay. I’m glad because… I really wanted to see you again.”

Jyugo stiffened immediately, his face beginning to turn red. He tilted his head down, hoping to god that she didn’t notice.

“R-really now…” Jyugo mumbled.

“But, I’m going to be honest…” Theodora said calmly, but looked very serious. “You scared the shit out of me back there. I thought you were going to die by Hajime’s hands… And… Your eyes weren’t at all the same… I now understand your rage, and why you acted that way, but… Never do that again!”

Jyugo flinched at her tone, suddenly finding himself being scolded by her.

“You could’ve hurt somebody, badly!” She continued to rant. “I know Musashi provoked you and hurt you, but you shouldn’t have done that! I’m glad nobody was harmed, and this ended up better than I imagined it to, but you seriously caused a mess! If someone provokes you, don’t act out on your feelings. Never act out on your feelings like that every again, okay? Emotions always blind your way of thinking. Promise me you won’t do that ever again!”

“I promise…” Jyugo said, keeping eye contact with her. “I’m sorry for scaring you and everybody else like that…”

“Well…” Her voice softened and she ruffled his hair again. “I’m just glad you’re allowed back here. It would’ve been annoying go down in those underground cells. It take a full twenty minutes to get down there, and that’s subtracting the walking!”

Jyugo just stared at her grinning face. It was so weird to him how she kept ruffling his hair, speaking so soft and nicely. It was beyond his understanding to why she cared so much. He knew it was 'her job,’ but it was much more than that. It was like… she had known him for years. Like she grew with him. He never really had this much affection given to him in one day. As weird as it was, he didn't… hate it. He couldn’t understand the beating in his chest as he stared at her. It was just too confusing…

…But, he knew he liked it.

-

“Hello, Theo. It’s been a while.”

“Indeed it has. How’s Building 5 for ya?”

“It’s been the same.”

“Good.”

Theodora was surprised by the sudden call from Rock this morning. She had went over to see what was up, only for him to ask to bring Liang over for lunch. He explained to her how he wanted to show Liang just why he wanted a stone over. Even though probably would’ve scoffed at his request, Theodora willingly agreed to it. She even worked a bit of her charm to get Samon to agree to it, much to his dismay. So, here she was, bring Liang to Building 13. It’s been a long while since she’d talked to him.

“I’m still trying to understand why I’ve been requested…” Muttered Liang, clearly suspicious of Rock’s intent.

“Rock isn’t trying to pick a fight, alright?” Alloisia said calmly, knowing what he was thinking. “He just simply wants to have lunch with you and talk. Nothing wrong with that.”

“But he is my rival! Rivals don’t eat and talk like a bunch of women!” Liang said.

“Oi.” Theodora sharply glared at him, causing Liang to stiffen.

“Y-you know I don’t mean any disrespect.” Liang defended himself to escape her anger. “I’ve seen most women in my country gossip to each other than men do. You know me well enough to know I respect all women…”

“Just makin’ sure…” Theodora muttered before looking forwards again. “But seriously, stop worrying about Rock. He’s honestly a good guy. I don’t know what happened between you two, but I think he wants to make up for it. At least sit down and see what he has to say, okay?”

“Hm…” Liang looked away from her and glared at the walls. “…Fine. I’ll see what he wants…”

Theodora smirked at him knowing he could see it (it was lunch after all so she could have the mask off), but Liang could tell she had a type of smugness in her eyes. They arrived to Building 13’s cafeteria and Rock immediately spots them. He waved them over, sitting with the rest of Cell 13, and Theodora escorts Liang over, much to his dismay. She even took a seat next to him to hopefully make Liang a little more at ease.

“Thanks for comin’!” Rock said, smiling widely.

“Not like I had much of a choice…” Liang murmured and eyed Theodora before looking back at him. “What do you want?”

“Here,” Rock held a slice of pizza out to Liang, which puzzled him. “Give it a taste!”

“If you brought me here to eat pizza, I’ll have you know that the Chief in Building 5 makes that, too.” Liang stated.

“And I’m sure he does it when he can but without a stoneoven it doesn’t compare.” Rock said with a smirk.

“Stone oven…” Liang murmured, clearly displeased by the word.

“That’s the prize Rock wanted from winning the New Year’s Tournament.” Jyugo said as he and Uno were watching him.

“Yeah, I remember…” Liang muttered.

“It took them a long time but they finally finished installing it!” Uno said.

“Is that so…?” Liang said and eyed Theodora as if to confirm it.

“Yeah, it took a while to do it.” Theodora nodded. “I heard they almost burned the kitchen down trying to instal it correctly. The Old Man would’ve given those guys more hell that Shiro could possibly do, hehehe…!”

“This piece was cut from the very first pizza that came out of that oven—you’re looking at a piece of history.” Rock said as Shiro came over and loomed over Liang. “Shiro was really excited to make it. See? Look at how happy he is!”

Theodora looked up at Shiro’s face, then at Liang’s. She couldn’t help but snicker softly at his fearful expression.

“That’s his happy face…?” Liang whispered, obviously intimidated by him.

“Hurry. Take a bite while it’s still hot.” Rock urged him.

Theodora, knowing Liang was being stubborn, rolled her eyes and grabbed a piece herself. Knowing he was watching her in confusion, she took a bite of it since she hadn’t tried it herself. Her eyes widened in clear surprise, not really expecting it to taste so good.

“Oh, wow, this is good!” She exclaimed, looking joyful. “I honestly didn’t expect that. It reminds me of home.” She looked to Shiro and gave him a thumbs up. “I compliments go to you, my good sir!”

Shiro just nodded to her in appreciation. Liang could only stare at her as if she betrayed him, his eye twitching in annoyance. She just shrugged at him innocently.

“What? I can’t deny good food when I taste it!” She exclaimed. “Eating is probably my favorite time of the day. You know about my condition.”

“Oh, right…” Liang muttered.

“Wait, you mean the HSAN?” Rock asked, causing Theodora to nod. “RIght, right, right! You said something about only to be able to feel things with your tongue, right?”

“Mm-hm.” She nodded. “When I was a kid I was a big foody because of that. Since I can only sense with my tongue, breakfast, lunch and dinner became my favorite parts of the day. But seriously, Liang, try it. It’s good, I swear!”

“You did get brought here, after all. "Jyugo spoke up, grabbing Liang’s attention. "The least you can do is give it a try.”

Liang became a bit silent after that. In a sort of reluctance, Liang took the slice from Rock’s hand and examined it. Slowly, he brought the slice to his mouth and took a bite, the group watching intensely for his reaction. His eyes widened in shock as he swallowed.

“Delicious…!” He exclaimed softly.

“Isn’t it though?!” Rock exclaimed, becoming so excited he was standing up from his seat. “Pizza baked in a stone oven has a superior taste, texture, and even smells better! And that’s just the start. You can cook bread, meats—anything! I’ve been dreaming about this for ages. I’m glad they could let you come here so I can show you why. Thanks again, Theo.”

“You are very welcomed.” Theodora said, spinning her hand and raising into the air as if bowing.

“Ah ha ha! This is delicious indeed!” Yamato exclaimed. He was sitting at the end of the table, eating a slice of pizza with chopsticks along with a gigantic bowl of rice.

“That bowl’s huge, Yamato…” Theodora murmured, staring at him in shock. “Just… Why’re you eating that with your pizza?”

“You get it, we Japanese eat rice with everything!” Yamato exclaimed through a mouth full of rice.

“No, no I do not considering I am American and not at all Japanese.” Theodora stated firmly. “Hell, I don’t even look Japanese, have you seen my arms in the sun!”

“At any rate, we’re pretty lucky we get to eat food this good.” Uno said and turned to Rock. “I appreciate it, Rock.”

“No prob!” Said the big guy, grinning cheerfully.

'Rock is honestly a gigantic kid.’ Theodora thought as she stared at his expression. 'He kinda is underappreciated. I should fix that some time. I bet he wouldn’t mind it if I tried giving him some recipes to keep…’ As she thought that, Rock went on a huge rant of why he enjoys a stone oven so much. Liang looked overwhelmed by his attitude.

“I feel like Rock wants to become Shiro’s apprentice someday.” Uno said, looking towards Liang.

“I can definitely see that…” Stated Liang.

“That would actually be awesome if that happened…” Theodora said quietly, clearly enjoying that idea.

Hearing a few familiar stomps, she looked up to see Shiro walking over to them. He came up behind Liang and placed a very familiar container in front of him. Theodora recognized it as a bamboo steam basket. They had those everywhere in Building 5. Shiro placed it in front of him and lifted the lid up, revealing two large pieces of food.

“Are those…” Liang could only stare at them in surprise.

“I told Shiro you were coming over, so he learned how to make Chinese food.” Rock explained.

“They’re peach buns…” Liang reached for one and held it. He slowly brought it to his mouth and took a bite. He looked shocked, only for his face to show total bliss. “So good… It taste like I’m visiting home.”

Theodora couldn’t help but grin at his expression. Seeing Liang’s happy expression was always something she cherished seeing. Back when she was in Building 5 she has alway tried to get him smiling since he was so serious all the time. 'Everyone deserves a type or laugh or smile sometimes…’

“Good job, Shiro! A Chinese native just complimented your cooking!” Rock exclaimed to the man.

Even Shiro’s face turned red with appreciation, glad he could get such a praise. Theodora couldn’t help but laugh at his expression, glad to two over-serious men could be joyed today.

“You know… I don’t think I’ve ever sat down to enjoy eating like this.” Liang said in realization.

“Seriously?” Jyugo questioned, obviously surprised by his words.

“I’ve always looked at the consumption of food as a chore,” Liang said. “One essential to retaining my training regiment.” Shiro began to pour a cup of tea for him. “But taking in the aesthetics of a meal, enjoying its aroma and flavor…” Liang smiled and picked up the cup of tea. “It’s a nice use of time.”

“I’m glad.” Rock said, catching Liang’s attention. “You’ve lost weight since the two of us first met, right? I was worried when I saw you at the tournament. This should help, though. The only thing you get from fighting are injured and people who are pissed at ya. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had plenty of those. I’m over all that.”

“Oh yeah?” Jyugo questioned.

“I did the math and eating’s way better.” Rock said. “When you eat you get full—that feels awesome. And everyone smiles when they eat something good. We get to eat something tasty everyday—we should count ourselves lucky.”

“A-fucking-men!” Theodora said and slapped the table, causing Uno to snort and start laughing. She then elbowed Liang. “And you didn’t want to come. Someone just got proven wrong.”

“Yes,” Liang chuckled lightly at her. “You always did have a way of being right all the time…”

“I wouldn’t say that, but…” Theodora shrugged jokingly, laughing when Liang pushed her shoulder to knock her down.

“Anyways, Rock…” Liang looked back at him with a serious expression. “I’m sorry for what I said in our fight. I called your dream ridiculous—but I was wrong.” Liang stood up from his spot and gave a short bow. “Xie xie. The meal was delicious. Thanks for sharing.”

'That’s my queue.’ Theodora stood up herself. Being the guard who took him here, she had to be the one to bring him back. She waved at the boy’s goodbye before turning to catch up to Liang with ease. Once she was beside him and copying his pace, she was glad to see the soft smile on his face.

“…Was that so hard?” She said to him with a big smirk. Liang laughed softly.

“No, I gues not…” He said before lifting his head and smiled at her. “I’m glad you brought me. Thank you, Theodora.”

“If you want, I’m sure I can get the Old Man in Building 5 to cook you peach buns.” She said and winked at him.

“No, no.” Liang lifted his hand up and waved it. “You already pulled enough strings as it is. I’m just grateful that I could taste a bit of home away from home today…”

Theodora smiled at him before looking forwards again. “Okay…”

A comfortable silence fell between them, walking side by side back to Building 5.

-

“Why do I have to come now?”

“Because I was directly ordered to go get you.”

“They why did you allow Qi to come?”

“Because I can.”

“Good to know you’ve been the same as always, Theo.”

Theodora just shrugged at Qi’s comment. After bringing Liang back to his cell Hajime had contacted her on her radio. He asked her to bring Upa down towards a gaming room because Nico asked for it. Thankfully she hadn’t left the building otherwise she’d be annoyed as all hell.

Turning back around, she went to go get Upa. But, of course, Qi decided to come along. Why? To get out of work. As much as she shouldn’t let him off of the hook, she allowed it this once. It’s been awhile since she’s seen them so why not? Upa clearly disagreed with her, but she obviously ignored his complaints. Once she got to this new game room of Nico’s, she was utterly shocked by the sight.

It was a gigantic arcade room. From what she knew, this was his reward from the tournament. She knew he wanted the latest games but she had no idea they’d go this out of hand with it. It was actually a pleasant surprise for her.

“What the heck…?” Muttered Upa as he did not seemed pleased. “Did you seriously bring me here in the middle of my meditation? What the hell, Theo.”

“Hey, I just listen to orders, don’t blame me.” Theodora said flatly and held her hands up in defense. “…But you gotta admit, this place is pretty cool.”

“MASTEEEER!” Nico suddenly came into view, flailing his hands in excitement as Upa went behind Alloisia’s leg at his sudden appearance. “COME ON, LET’S PLAY SOME GAMES!”

“WHOA, slow it down, kid!” Upa shouted, having his arms out ready to attack him. “I do not recall agreeing to be your master!”

“But you did say you’d think about it if I beat you in the tournament.” Nico said to him a lot calmer than before.

“Yeah, well I did think about it. I decided I don’t want to.” Upa stated harshly.

“Huh?!” Nico exclaimed in shock.

“Could you be anymore harsher on the kid, jeez, Upa…” Theodora groaned and rubbed her head at his usual behavior.

“Yeah, what’s your hold up?” Qi questioned him.

“Maybe that’s because you aren’t a qigong master.” Upa retorted.

“Ah, yes, because of course that is the case.” Theodora said sarcastically and bent her upper body more towards Upa’s height. “Seriously, Upa. If you keep being this nitpicky you’ll never gain a disciple to teach.”

“You don’t know that!” Upa snapped at her. “And stop bending forwards like that, I get that you’re tall! Stop rubbing it in my face!”

Theodora could only roll her eyes and shake her head at his usual antics. She straightened up, only now realizing the rest of Cell 13 was here as well. It honestly shouldn’t surprise her. The group hardly goes anywhere without each other.

“Hey, you there.” Jyugo spoke up and pointed at Qi. “You’re the guy who slept at the top spinning event.”

Qi stiffened, being guilty as charged.

“What? You tagged along uninvited to get out of work?” Rock questioned, hitting the nail on the head.

“Kinda scummy…” Uno commented.

“Why’re you calling me scummy? You only just met me!” Qi said.

'But… it is kinda truuuue…’ Theodora thought but didn’t dare say it. As she thought that she heard a familiar frustrated monkey-like screech. She turned, knowing exactly who it was, only to hear the familiar voice of Kazari. She turned back around and pretended she heard nothing, knowing it would be easier that way.

When she did turn back around, she saw that everyone fled to their own devices. Seeing that they would all stay here, Theodora began to look around the place. It’s been a long time since she had been around so many games. Passing by a few she smiled softly.

'I remember all of these types of games…’ She thought to herself. 'It’s been so long, too. I wonder if that place is still standing in my old hometown…?’

“Having fun?” A voice snapped her out of thought.

Turning her head, she spotted Jyugo behind her. She shrugged and looked back to the game she had her hand on as she recalled a few memories.

“I guess…” She replied to him. “It’s been years since I’ve played a videogame… When I was younger I always snuck out of my house… Most of the time I went to the local arcade in my town. I always carried a bag of coins with me so I could play. I was utterly addicted to it…” She looked and smiled at him. “Those were some good memories…”

“Huh…” Jyugo muttered and turned his head, watching Uno and Rock battle it out on some dancing game.

“I’m surprised you aren’t playing any.” Theodora said and faced him, catching Jyugo off guard. “Why aren’t you playing any games? They’re all fun. You should go join the others.”

“I… rather not…” Jyugo muttered, looking away from her.

“How come…?” Theodora crossed her arms, genuinely looking concerned. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing like that.” Jyugo shook his head. He gazed at the floor as he looked embarrassed. “It’s just, that… I don’t know how…”

Theodora blinked her eyes owlishly for a moment before smiling softly. “Want me to teach you then?”

“Huh?” His head shot up. It was now his turn to blink owlishly at her.

“I’ll teach you how to play some games if you like.” She offered. “I haven’t played any in years, so I’m pretty rusty. But I can definitely teach you the simple concepts if you want.”

“Uh, no thanks.” Jyugo said and looked away from her. “I’m fine just watching…”

“…Okay.” She said and shrugged, knowing to just leave him be. “If you ever want somebody to teach you anything, you can always ask me. I’m willing to help.”

“Why though…?” Jyugo asked her, clearly surprised by her words. “You always want to help so much… Why is that?”

“Well…” Theodora gazed softly at the ground, having a bit of a melancholy expression on her face. “…I’ve always had people helping me as a little kid. Still to this day, I need a little help with thing every now and then. I guess you could say… I just want to simply make up for the times so many people have helped me. I like helping people. It makes me glad to see them happy…”

“Oh…” Jyugo muttered, understanding her point of view.

“If you ever change your mind about those games, just ask, 'kay?” She said and winked at him.

Theodora turned and walked to a different game. Jyugo was so thankfully she turned after that, because he was damn well positive his face was redder than a fire hydrant. He literally spun around and leaned against a gaming system to get his head together so he would stop blushing!

Unaware of his situation, Theodora went around the place. She was fascinated with every gaming system they got and placed it here. It was really impressive. Eventually she stopped at a machine she hadn’t seen in years. It was one of those claw machines where you have to try and get a prize. She saw the guys surrounding it while Jyugo was on the stick. She walked over to see what was up, only to see Jyugo luck out and drop the object.

“You touched it that time.” Nico said to hopefully make him not so upset. But that wasn’t happening with Rock’s mocking laughter.

“You really are trash at everything but jailbreaking, Jyugo.” Uno stated bluntly.

“C'mon, give 'im a break.” Theodora said and nudged Uno’s arm with her elbow. “These machines are hard. I lost plenty of times to these things. They aren’t easy in the slightest.”

“For you that is.” Uno commented and tugged Jyugo aside. “Here, let me show you how.” Uno began controlling the machine. “Look, it’s all about your angle. You wanna grab the head straight.”

They watched in amazement as Uno gained one of the plushies. It went down the little shoot and Theodora grabbed it out of the slot since she was standing right there. Her eyes widened as her mouth went into a wide grin.

“Oh my god, it’s a mini Jyugo!” She exclaimed and laughed a little. “Are there mini us’s in there…!? However made these deserves a high five, oh my god!”

“Yeah, there’s a bunch in here.” Uno said and instantly spotted one and went right for it. “Hey, I think I spotted a mini Nico.”

The little doll went down the shoot and Nico grabbed it. Theodora gaped in amazement at the little, adorable details on the dolls. She honestly couldn’t help the gushing feeling she had. She was a sucker for small things.

“Whoa! That’s so cool!” Nico exclaimed as Uno stood by, grinning happily to himself.

“They really did an amazing job here.” Theodora said happily as she was trying to remain as a calm headed adult.

“Hey, is that what I think it is?” Jyugo questioned and pointed at a plushy inside.

“I think it is!” Uno said and went after it. He gained yet again another plushy. Jyugo took it out and held it out.

“It’s a mini Theo.” He stated.

“Aaah! It’s so cute!” Theodora couldn’t help but loudly gush over the plushy, gazing at it in his hands. “They put a little mask on and everything! Oh my god…!”

Uno, Jyugo, and Rock stood there with shocked expressions written all over their faces. Nico ran off somewhere, trying to look for Upa, but that didn’t stop him from hearing Theodora’s exclaim. The older woman looked up from the plushies, her smiling face now falling as she suddenly looked horrified in realization.

“…I just squealed, didn’t I…?” She whispered softly.

They all nodded their heads.

“…Fuck.” She hissed, turning away from them and bit her finger as her face turned red.

“…THAT WAS ADORABLE!” Uno exclaimed, suddenly hugging Theodora, which shocked her as she became stiff as a board. “I will get you anything if you make that face again, I swear to god! That was so fUCKING CUTE!”

“W-what the hell…!?” Theodora muttered and got out of his arms, looking immensely uncomfortable.

“You never act girlish like that in front of us! That was the most cutest thing coming from you!” Uno said quickly and all in one breath. He was trying to hug her again, but Theodora’s arm was out to prevent him from getting closer. “Come here, you deserve another hug!”

“N-no! Fuck off!” She exclaimed, her voice getting deeper as her face was all red. “I am anything BUT cute! Are you on crack or something?! AND STOP TRYING TO HUG ME!”

“Well, Uno kinda has a point…” Rock murmured as he, indeed, found Theodora’s squeal cute.

“Nope! That’s it!” She immediately turned and climbed onto one of the gaming consoles to get away from Uno. “STOP SAYING I’M CUTE, DAMNIT!”

“Are you always like this when showered in affection?” Uno asked her, trying to poke the air at her. “You’ll willingly hug anybody but when it’s the other way around you freak out. What’s up with you? I know you’re weird but this makes you even weirder.”

“I-I’m not used to it, okay?!” She yelled at him. “Lay off, will ya?!”

Uno just laughed at her, finding her reaction utterly hilarious. The same can’t be said from Jyugo as he watched the entire thing silently, trying not to burn holes into Uno’s head. Now this feeling was something he could do without…

“Come on, Master! You should play with us, too!” Nico said, grabbing everyone’s attention as Upa turned away from him.

“I don’t want to.” Upa said, being the stubborn goat he was.

“Aw, but it’s really fun, I promise!” Nico whined, trying to convince him into joining.

“Heh. I guess he’s scared he can’t do it!” Uno taunted loudly.

“No, I totally could!” Upa exclaimed, now facing Uno for mocking him. “Such a simple task is beneath me.”

Seeing this action take place, Theodora put her hands under her armpits and began flapping her arms like a bird while making chicken noises at him. She was still sitting on top of the game consoles cross legged with the little Jyugo plush in her lap.

“Bawk! Bawk! Bawk, bawk, baaaaaawk!” She taunted towards Upa.

“What was that?!” Upa growled at her and pointed directly at her. “You’re supposed to be the peaceful one, aren’t you?!”

“Sorry, what?” She said as a smug smirk took place on her face. “I couldn’t hear you over the BAWK! BAWK!”

“That’s it!” Upa stomped on the ground and marched over to the claw machine. “I’ll show you both who the real chickens are!”

“Oh, please do.” Uno said and leaned against the machines Theodora sat on.

Theodora leaned forwards, her arms around the Jyugo plushy, officially hiding it from view as it remained in her lap. Upa went for a plushy, but it slipped out of the claw. It was silent for a moment before Upa threatened to obliterate the machine, both Rock and Nico having to restrain and stop him. Upa grew very frustrated, his temper being nothing more than a hair trigger.

“I forgot how intense he gets with these things…” Theodora murmured as she was stoic faced again, ready to jump into action if she must.

“What do you find so amusing!?” Upa yelled at Nico, who stood right next to him.

“You look like you’re having fun, that’s all.” Nico replied.

“AAH I’M NOT ENJOYING MYSELF EVEN REMOTELY! I JUST REALLY HATE LOSING, OKAY?!” Upa shouted and slammed against the machine, causing the plushy he grabbed the fall through.

He became quiet at the realization of winning the plushy. Which happened to be a mini version of himself. Almost dumbfounded, Upa bent down and grabbed the little plushy.

“You got it on your second try, way to go!” Complimented Nico.

“Heh… That was… easy…” Upa said, smiling at the doll.

Theodora couldn’t help but smile herself. Upa is honestly hard to handle, but Nico seemed to be just doing fine with that. She couldn’t help just imagine what it would be like if Nico kept doing stuff like this with Upa. 'Nico’s a pretty special individual… I wonder…

[altarflame]

I’ve got this broken leather bracelet on my desk, one pearl left of the original three, shreds of strands where length used to be. It was $75 when I bought it, absurdly expensive for a bracelet by my usual standards - my shopping addicted, fashion oriented friend Jess said, “it’s an investment piece.”

I tied it around the wrist of my lover Mills one morning before I left his town to drive back to mine, without him. We’d been rolling the night before. He’d fallen asleep with his head on my thigh and his fingers inside me. He paced around the bedroom he usually shares with his other lover, slowly, speaking little and with gravity, saying the sex we’d been having was some of the best he’d ever had. We kept hugging by the door, long and lingering, until finally I took my bracelet off and I tied it around his wrist, like a vow. He made heavy eye contact with me. He referred to it later on as something I’d “artfully” done. 

It’s broken because later, weeks later, he was high on crazy research chemical drugs and he broke it as he jumped out of a (closed) window. You can see it like that, you can say, “of course he broke it, he breaks things. My investment piece.” 

But I know he appreciated this bracelet. I understood it would be worn to ribbons or worn til it was lost when I gave it to him, and I don’t regret this. I know he didn’t mean for it to break, I know he went back to the place it lay broken on the ground and he found it and tied it back on, barely, broken though it already was. Still two out of three pearls, then.

I know he’s held on to plenty of things I’ve given him like they’re precious, more than he usually does, more than people think he can. People who want to Knowing Look me now, about all that’s been lost and broken.

Like the person who warned me, that he took a hammer to the Stardust watch I gave him for a birthday. That’s true. Pulsing ugly hateful true. It’s also true that it was water damaged before that, accidentally and he was really sad that it was, and he’s always arming himself against something that seems inevitable. Arming himself by lashing out at me, vitriolic psychic energy, recoil against the depth of the love, supposed secrets that get back to me again and again. As though I couldn’t sense them, anyway. 

There’s never been a close, sweet time with him, a blending pulling wondrous intimacy, without a voice in the back of my head somber and heavy, knowing and nodding, “I’m going to have to pay for this.”

I don’t understand why he can’t keep track of more, why he can’t make some effort to preserve, why he can’t revel in what’s good without recoil, but I also completely do, and it’s infuriating. I listen to LadyTron’s “Destroy Everything You Touch” on repeat sometimes now, driving fast, replies happening in my head whether I want them to or not. 

I’ve had a plan to bury this bracelet for weeks. It sits on my desk, unburied, also unsalvageable. It’s only in my house at all because he couldn’t throw it out, wrecked though it is. It had come to rest draped over a bar in the bathroom downstairs, where he maybe artfully placed it, or maybe forgot all about it, forever. Maybe those are the same thing, for him. I can’t understand that, but I also completely do, and it’s infuriating. 

The worst fight we ever had was about my efforts to preserve. He flew into a violent rage the likes of which I’d never seen from him, about both his staunch refusal to ever be careful with himself, and his fury that I would dare to wish for such a thing. He screamed at me for almost three hours, the kind of rage screaming that he likes to say people are “resilient” for bearing, and that I think absolutely nobody should ever put up with. He collapsed into an upset stomach and exhaustion, when I told him that he didn’t deserve my nurturing or concern if he was gonna hate me for having them. 

Then he forgot the whole thing; three hours of screaming down the hatch and into the minefield, his abstract art piece of undealt with explosives. Placed and “forgotten.” He acted baffled and sympathetic, that I remembered what this fight was about, less than a month later. Attacked and confused, that I wanted him to remember. 

Sometimes I actually think I have the onus of responsibility, I have the agency and the understanding for both of us. As though he’s not brilliant and capable. As though I don’t also get SCARED. 

It’s just a difference of opinion; how to deal with eventual loss. Except that my way involves being together decades longer, with less rips in the meantime. But by all means, keep hold of those reins, ride straight into the fire. Goodbye. 

Ow.  

[ashtray-girl]

By Grand Central Station I Sat Down And Wept and its role in Morrissey’s lyricism

PLOT This is a short prose poetry novel in which author Elizabeth Smart recounts her love affair with married poet George Barker (even though she began writing it years before they met). Said affair lasted 18 years and she bore 4 of his 15 children, whom he had from several different women.

The novel is divided in 10 parts, so I’ll proceed by summing up each one of them while also highlighting the parts which I think are relevant to the Morrissey discourse.

DISCLAIMER: even though there isn’t much of a plot to spoil (the focus is placed almost entirely on the narrator’s feelings and in the way they’re expressed), I am gonna quote extensively from every chapter so keep that in mind if you intend to read the book for yourself.

PART I The protagonist is waiting at the bust station for the man she loves to collect her (she never names him btw) but when he finally comes he’s with his wife and it’s her that the protagonist sees first.

“But then it is her eyes that come forward out of the vulgar disembarkers to reassure me that the bus has not disgorged disaster: her madonna eyes, soft as the newly-born, trusting as the untempted. And, for a moment, at that gaze, I am happy to forego my future, and postpone indefinitely the miracle hanging fire. […] Behind her he for whom I have waited for so long, who has stalked so unbearably through my nightly dreams.”

It’s interesting to note the way she talks about her. Even though she’s wildly in love with this man, she never badmouths her. On the contrary, throughout the story she seems to have a good opinion of her.

“I see she can walk across the leering world and suffer injury only from the ones she loves. But I love her and her silence is propaganda for sainthood.”

You know what all of this reminds me of? The time Angie collected Morrissey at the station to take him to Johnny’s house, a few days after Johnny had knocked on Morrissey’s door and they’d talked about forming a band. Did he expect it would be Johnny who’d come and pick him up? Did he know he had a girlfriend?

“So we drive along the Californian coast singing together, and I entirely renounce him for only her peace of mind.”

I don’t know if the narrator shares Morrissey’s fascination with cars (I don’t even think the two things are necessarily related), but it’s worth pointing out how some of the most important and dramatic scenes of the book happen in a car.

“Why do I not jump off this cliff where I lie sickened by the moon? I know these days are offering me only murder for my future. It is not just the creeping fingers of the cold that dissuade me from action, and allow me to accept the hypocritical hope that there may be some solution. Like Macbeth, I keep remembering that I am their host. So it’s tomorrow’s breakfast rather than the future’s blood that dictates fatal forbearance. Nature, perpetual whore, distracts with the immediate.”

Look at this entire paragraph and tell me it isn’t the most Morrissey thing you’ve ever read. Also, does any part of it sound familiar? Well, let’s look at the lyrics for Shakespeare’s Sister:

Young bones groan, and the rocks below say “Throw your skinny body down, son"

But I'm going to meet the one I love So please don't stand in my way Because I'm going to meet the one I love No, mama, let me go

Young bones groan and the rocks below say "Throw your white body down"

But I'm going to meet the one I love At last, at last, at last! I'm going to meet the one I love

Then the protagonist gets to the couple’s house and her sudden proximity to the man she loves brings the feelings she’s been trying to repress right back to the surface:

“The Beginning lurks uncomfortably on the outskirts of the circle, like an unpopular person whom ignoring can keep away. The very silence, the very avoiding of any intimacy between us, when he, when he was only a word, was able to cause me sleepless nights and shivers of intimation, is the more dangerous. Our seeming detachment gathers strength. I sit back impersonally and say, I see human vanity, or feel myself full of gladness because there is a gentleness between him and her, or even feel irritation because he lets her do too much of the work, sits lolling whilst she chops wood for the stove.”

There’s an unmistakable feeling of impeding doom, as if she knows that even though nothing physical has happened between them yet, she’s sealed her own deal just by being there with him and it’s only a matter of time before the inevitable strikes.

“While we drive along the road in the evening, talking as impersonally as a radio discussion, he tells me: ‘A boy with green eyes and long lashes, whom I had never seen before, took me into the back of a printshop and made love to me, and for two weeks I went around remembering the numbers on bus conductors’ hats.’ ‘One should love beings whatever their sex’, I reply, but withdraw into the dark with my obstreperous shape of shame, offended with my own flesh which cannot metamorphose into a printshop boy with armpits like chalices.”

So there you have it: Meaningful Car Scene n°1. He confesses he had a homosexual experience (and he enjoyed it, or so it seems) and she’s jealous but not outraged or disgusted, which is quite a big deal if you think this book was first published in 1945. (It’s also worth noting that, in her later years, Elizabeth Smart had affairs with both men and women). Another thing I noticed as I was writing this is that sentence, “remembering the numbers on bus conductors’ hats”, which reminded me of that line in Phoney:

Who can make Hitler Seem like a bus conductor? You do, oh Phoney you do

It’s probably just a coincidence, but I found it funny nonetheless.

“He kissed my forehead driving along the coast in the evening, and now, wherever I go, like the sword of Damocles, that greater never-to-be-given kiss hangs above my doomed head. He took my hand between the two shabby front seats of the Ford, and it was dark, and I was looking the other way, but now that hand casts everywhere an octopus shadow from which I can never escape. The tremendous gentleness of that moment smothers me under; […] I stand on the edge of the cliff, but the future is already done.”

Meaningful Car Scene n°2. There’s a first attempt at physical contact and by now he seems to have realised she has feelings for him, so he’s trying to see how far he can push himself with her.

Now, I’m just gonna go ahead and say it: I feel like something very similar to this may have happened between Johnny and Morrissey. The reason why I decided to write this analysis is because, once I read the book, I fully realised the pervasiveness of its influence in many of the lyrics Morrissey wrote while he was in The Smiths (especially during the Meat Is Murder era) and in the first years of his solo career but, as much as people talked about it, I feel like they never went deep enough. The way I see it, Morrissey had every reason to relate to the protagonist, even though she’s a woman. Someone who falls deeply in love with a married man (with bisexual tendencies, it seems) and is quite concerned with the ethics of what she’s doing but at the same time is very certain of her feelings for him. The man, on the other hand, seems to have a much more ambiguous attitude, accepting her love but also wanting to keep a respectable façade by staying with his wife. If we assume that Morrissey did harbour romantic feelings for Johnny, it’s easy to see why he would choose this book as a way to sublimate them, especially if we consider how the queer factor would’ve made them even less acceptable in the eyes of society.

But going back to the book… what about the man’s wife?

“By day she obeys the voice of love as the stricken obey their god, and she walks with the light step of hope which only the naive and the saints know. […] He also is bent towards her in an attitude of solicitude. Can he hear his own heart while he listens for the tenderness of her sensibilities? Is there a way at all to avoid offending the lamb of god?”

As I said before, she doesn’t seem to be especially jealous of his wife, but that may be because at the moment she’s high on the secret attentions her husband is giving her, so it’s easy for her to feel sorry for this other woman who’s being cheated on right under her own roof.

I can’t help but think about how Morrissey and Angie had their own relationship and seemed to be quite close. I mean, that must have been a bit of a weird dynamic (for Moz at least), and I wonder how they worked it out.

“I never was in love with death before, nor felt grateful because the rocks below could promise certain death. But now the idea of dying violently becomes an act wrapped in attractive melancholy, and displayed with every blandishment. For there is no beauty in denying love, except perhaps by death, and towards love what way is there? To deny love, and deceive it meanly by pretending that what is unconsummated remains eternal, or that love sublimated reaches highest to heavenly love, is repulsive, as the hypocrite’s face is repulsive when placed too near the truth. […] I might be better fooled, but can I see the light of a match while burning in the arms of the sun?”

There’s another reference to dying by throwing herself off a cliff, but the really interesting part is what comes after. The narrator rejects the idea that spiritual love is the highest form of love, which is achieved by embracing its physical side instead. It’s not enough for her to have a platonic bond with the man she loves because she wants him in mind, body and soul.

While reading this, I couldn’t help but draw some parallels:

- “Dying violently becomes an act wrapped in attractive melancholy.” → “To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.” - “Can I see the light of a match while burning in the arms of the sun?” → “There is a light and it never goes out.”

And then, opening the penultimate paragraph of this first chapter:

“I have learned to smoke because I need something to hold on to. I dare not be without a cigarette in my hand.”

This is one of the most obvious one. If we look at the lyrics for What She Said (which is based almost entirely on this book), it’s pretty self-explanatory:

What she said: ‘I smoke ‘cause I’m hoping for a nearly death And I need to cling to something.’

PART II This part is mainly about the remorse the protagonist is feeling towards the man’s wife, who has now realised something happened between the two of them.

“Her eyes pierced all the veils that protected my imagination against ruinous knowledge. […] Is there no other channel of my deliverance except by her martyrdom?”

It’s quite interesting to note how the chapter opens with:

“God, come down […] and tell me who will drown in so much blood.”

And then, on the next page:

“I am blind, but blood, not love, blinded my eye. Love lifted the weapon but guided my crime.”

Both of these lines reminded me of the lyrics for Yes, I Am Blind:

Yes, I am blind No, I can't see The good things Just the bad things, oh...

Yes, I am blind No, I can't see There must be something Horribly wrong with me?

God, come down If you're really there Well, you're the one who claims to care

It then goes on:

“… she whom I have injured, and whose agony it is my penalty to watch, lies gasping, but still living, on the land.”

- “Gasping, but still living.” → “Gasping, but somehow still alive.” (Well I Wonder)

PART III The narrator spends most of this chapter gushing about how in love she is with this man, who in the meantime has followed her back home to spend some time with her (though it’s not clear whether he has left his wife for her or not.)

“Even the precise geometry of his hand, when I gaze at it, dissolves me into water and I flow away in a flood of love.”

(I have nothing to say about this line except that I like it and that I can’t help but imagine Morrissey staring at Johnny’s hands as he picks the chords of his guitar, thinking these exact same thoughts.)

“When the Ford rattles up to the door, five minutes (five years) late, and he walks across the lawn under the pepper-trees, I stand behind the gauze curtains, unable to move to meet him, or to speak, as I turn to liquid to invade his every orifice when he opens the door.”

Yet another reference to his car. Also yeah, you’re wet for him, we get it.

“And there is so much for me, I am suddenly so rich, and I have done nothing to deserve it, to be so overloaded. All after such a desert. All after I had learnt to say, I am nothing, and I deserve nothing. […] It has happened, the miracle has arrived, everything begins today, […] all the paraphernalia of existence, all my sad companions of these last twenty years, […] all the world solicits me with joy, leaps at me electrically, claiming its birth at last.”

I can’t help but think about how similarly Morrissey must have felt after Johnny knocked on his door, after having spent his last twenty years in much the same way the narrator had, feeling lonely and isolated.

I mean, he even said so himself:

“He appeared at a time when I was deeper than the depths, if you like. And he provided me with this massive energy boost. I could feel Johnny’s energy just seething inside of me.”

“I was there, dying, and he rescued me.”

The chapter ends with this sentence:

“Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm, for love is strong as death.”

Which kinda reminds me of that part in Rusholme Ruffians:

So scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen (This means you really love me)

PART IV This is, in my opinion, the book’s most interesting chapter. What happens is, they get stopped as they’re crossing the Arizona border and once the cops realise they’re together but not married to each other, the take them to the police station, interrogate them for several hours about the nature of their relationship and then make them leave separately.

Once again, one of the most dramatic scenes takes place in a car.

I fully believe that Morrissey wrote both The Boy With The Thorn In His Side and later Late Night, Maudlin Street with this entire part in mind.

“They are taking me away in a police car […] They are prosecuting me for silence and for love […] They drove me away in a police car. […] For too much love, only for too much love. […] Are you not convinced, inspector? Do you not believe in love?”→ “They took you away in a police car / Inspector – don’t you know? Don’t you care? Don’t you know – about love?” (Late Night, Maudlin Street)

“They intercepted our love because of what was in our eyes. […] Did they see such flagrant proof and still not believe?” → “How can they see the love in our eyes and still they don’t believe us?” (The Boy With The Thorn In His Side)

I wonder who “they” were, though. I mean, we know that in the book, when she says: “They are prosecuting me for silence and for love” she clearly means the authorities, but what did Morrissey mean? Were “they” those same “people who are weaker/uglier than you and I” and those “evil people (who) prosper over the likes of you and me always”? And did he have some specific names in mind, or did he just mean society in general? As in: “They (the general public / the media / the music industry) can’t (don’t want to?) see we love each other because they’re not ready to accept that idea yet, but they’re more than happy to profit from us and our art, which is only made possible BECAUSE of that love.”

The penultimate paragraph before the end of the chapter feels especially relevant:

“All our wishes were private, we desired no more scope than ourselves. Could we corrupt the young by gazing into each other’s eyes? Would they leave their offices? Would big business suffer?”

PART V The protagonist comes back home feeling sorry for herself. Her family doesn’t approve of her relationship with a married man, but she refuses to apologise and spends most of her time contemplating nature and reminiscing about what happened.

Another quote which Morrissey probably used as inspiration for Late Night…

“Every yellow or scarlet leaf hangs like a flag waving me on.” → “Every hag waves me on / Secretly wishing me gone.”

PART VI The protagonist has an argument with her father, who’s worried about her state. Her mother doesn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore and even her brother is sceptical about the whole situation. She then reminisces about leaving Ottawa with him (she’s Canadian) and she talks at length about how they’re meant to be together no matter what. She also finds out she’s pregnant.

At the start, she mentions neighbours who warn her to stay away from him:

“The well-meaning matrons who, from their insulated living say, ‘My dear, I think you would would regret it afterwards if you broke up a marriage,’ ‘When you felt it about to happen the right thing would have been to have gone away at once.”

I wonder how many people around The Smiths were aware of Morrissey being in love with Johnny (because at this point, no one can convince me he wasn’t) and, if they were, how much did they know? Did they ever talked to him about it? Did they warn him about being cautious, about not revealing too much of his own feelings in his songs? And did they mention how bad it would look for him if he broke up a couple?

“The policeman grows fatter each day and rivals the new tanks. He blots out the doorway of the little café. A couple seeing him spills the milk at the counter, remembering what they did under the bridge last night. But the policeman is blind. He strikes only when he hears a loud noise. There are others, though, who have eyes like shifty hawks, and they prowl the streets searching for a face whereon an illegal kiss might be forming. No, there is no defence for love, and tears will only increase the crime.”

Here she’s talking about how, while in the midst of a war (the book is set in the 40s), the police (and society in general) seem to be concerned with futile things like arresting people who are doing nothing but love each other and it reminds me of a quote from Morrissey’s Autobiography:

“Men were draped with medals for killing other men yet imprisoned for loving one another.”

Later on, she makes a point of proclaiming herself ready to take their relationship as it is, without expecting much of a future.

“Though this is all there is […] I accept it without tomorrows and without any lilies of promise. It is enough, the now, and though it comes without anything, it gives me everything. […] But as long as the accessories are such now as to make me over-armed with weapons to combat the antagonistic world, even if a thousand programs go wrong, I won’t lament that past I was when I could see no future.”

She then tries to dissipate any doubts he might have about their relationship (because it looks as if he’s already starting to second-guess himself) by repeatedly reassuring him that she’s the one for him and that, as much as he tries, he can’t escape that fact.

“Remember I am not temptation to you, but everything is which inclines you away. Nor are you to me, but my entire goal. Sometimes you see this as clearly as I do now, for you say, ‘Do you think if I didn’t I could have…?’”.

I wonder… if Johnny hadn’t already been with Angie when he knocked on Morrissey’s door, would things have panned out differently for them? Would they have dared to take their relationship to the next level in spite of society’s backlash?

“Do you see me then as the too-successful one, like a colossus whose smug thighs rise obliviously out of sorrow? Or as the detestable all-female, who grabs and devours, invulnerable with greed? Alas, these are your sins, your garments of shame, and not the blond-sapling boys with blue eye-shadow leaning amorously towards you in the printshop.”

Leaving aside the fact that this man is garbage, she’s obviously anxious to reassure him that it’s not his bisexuality that saddens her, but the fact that he sees her as a threat.

Also that line, “grabs and devours”, will then be used by Morrissey in The Headmaster Ritual:

He grabs and devours He kicks me in the showers Kicks me in the showers And he grabs and devours

By the end of the chapter though, her words of comfort are starting to sound ominous:

“Only remember: I am not the ease, but the end. I am not to blind you but to find you. What you think is the sirens singing to lure you to your doom is only the voice of the inevitable, welcoming you after so long a wait. I was made only for you.”

PART VII The man has a breakdown and he’s interned in a psych facility. She tries to go and see him, but his wife is already there. He’d previously written her a letter, asking her to take him back. The protagonist leaves and when she comes back a few days later they leave together, but when she tries to confront him about the letter he refuses to listen to her. They have a fight and she ends up capitulating because he’s still ill and she wants to believe him when he tells her she’s the only one.

“My love, why did you leave me on Lexington Avenue in the Ford that had no breaks?” This line reminds me a bit of Break Up The Family, when Morrissey says:

Hailstones, driven home In a car – no breaks? I don’t mind

Which coincidentally is what’s happening in this chapter: the honeymoon phase is clearly over, he’s having troubles with his guilty conscience and he deals with them by distancing himself from her, even though she’s expecting his child.

PART VIII He and his wife move to London where the war is raging and, after a while, the protagonist follows them. She stays in a dingy hotel and he occasionally visits her to have sex with her, but by now it’s clear that he has no intention of leaving his wife for her, so they often fight and every day she’s getting more and more desperate and isolated.

The chapter opens with the line:

“His brother and his mother and his grandmother lie abandoned in death on the stones of the London Underground.”

This vaguely reminds me once again of Late Night…

You gran died And you mother died On Maudlin Street In pain and ashamed With never time to say Those special things

“Bombs are bigger, but the human brains they burst remain the same. It is the faces we once kissed that are being smashed in the English coastal towns, the hand we shook that are swept up with the debris […] and love still uproots the heart better than an imagined landmine.”

This paragraph makes me think of Ask:

Because if it’s not love Then it’s the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb The bomb, the bomb That will bring us together

In the meantime, their relationship is going sour and the protagonist feels they’re reaching a breaking point.

“When the ship cracks in the typhoon, we cover our heads and tell ourselves that all will resolve back to normal. But we are unbelieving. This time may not be like the other times that with time grew into cheerful anecdotes. […] O where does he stalk like a horse in pastures very far afield? I cannot hear him, and silence writes more terrible things than he can ever deny. Is there a suspicion the battle is lost? Certainly he killed me fourteen nights in succession.”

I can’t help but think about how Morrissey must have felt when Johnny told him he wanted to leave The Smiths. People around him (Stephen Street, Grant Showbiz) thought he was going to kill himself and the fact that Johnny then went on holiday and never made contact with him must have alarmed him even more. He’d first thought the situation could be repaired, but by then he must’ve realised the end was upon them.

“He did the one sin which Love will not allow. […] He did sin against Love, and though he says it was in Pity’s name, and that Pity was only fighting a losing battle with Love, he was useless to Pity, and in wavering, injured Love, which was, after all, what he staked all for, all he had, ungamblable.”

From what I gather, he went back to his wife because he felt sorry for her and the protagonist can’t accept that because in her eyes their love was everything that mattered and everything they had.

Now: as I said before, I think Morrissey was inspired by this book because he saw himself in it. I think he must’ve found many similarities between the protagonist’s situation and his own, both of them in love with a married man who doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself. Johnny and Angie split for a brief period in 1983, when The Smiths went on their first USA tour, and I’ve seen a few people speculate that if something physical happened between Morrissey and Johnny, it may very well have happened then. Morrissey may have taken advantage of the fact that Johnny was free and overcame his fears by making the first move. Or maybe, Johnny was the one who, once aware of Morrissey’s feelings for him, decided to take the bull by its horns. I don’t know. Nobody does. What I wonder is… once Johnny went back to Angie, how did Morrissey feel? Because I don’t think he was all that thrilled. Did he think he did it out of pity, like the protagonist of the book did? If something had happened between them on that tour, did he feel used? Did he feel mildly outraged? Did he resign himself to consider it a one-night stand and nothing more, even though his feelings for Johnny clearly went deeper than that? It’s also worth noticing how the references to this book start to spring up in his lyrics from Meat Is Murder onwards, that is, after that tour in 1983.

“How can I put love up to my hopes so suicidal and wild-eyed when the matter is too simple and too plain: it is her tears he feels trickling over his breast each night; it is for her he feels the concern; and the pity, after all, not the love, fills his twenty-four hours. Perhaps I am his hope. But then she is his present. And if then she is his present, I am not his present. Therefore, I am not, and I wonder why no one has noticed I am dead and taken the trouble to bury me. […] For even if he loves me, he is in her arms. O the fact, the unalterable fact: it is she he is with: he is with her: he is not with me because he is sleeping with her.”

For me, this might be the most heartbreaking part of the book. The protagonist knows that no matter what she tells herself, when he’s done with her he comes home to his wife while she’s stuck in a hotel room in a country which is not her own.

That line, “I wonder why no one has noticed I am dead and taken the trouble to bury me”, also crops up right at the beginning of What She Said:

What she said: “How come someone hasn’t noticed that I’m dead And decided to bury me? God knows, I’m ready!”

Which makes me think Morrissey must have somehow related to this part. “He loves me, but he’s still with her.” “He has martyred me, but for no cause, nor has he any idea of the size and consequence of my wounds. Perhaps he will never know, for to say, You killed me daily and O most especially nightly, would imply blame. I do not blame, nor even say, You might have done this or this rather than that. I even say, You must do that, you have to do it, there is no alternative, urging my own murder. […] If ever again he lets those nights happen, or dallies with remorse for past sins to others while sinning most dangerously against me, I shall be unrevivable. I shall, whether I want to or not, be struck dead with the fact. And he may clothe it in all humanity’s most melting colours, and pity, and sympathy, and call on love to be kind, and I too shall pray, Let me be kind, but it will be no good.”

This entire thing reinforces my first thought, which is: Morrissey and Johnny at one point had a one-night stand (“It was a good lay, good lay...”), except for Morrissey there were much stronger feelings attached to it.

As hurt as she is, the protagonist doesn’t blame the man for going back to his wife and she even encourages him, because she recognises that, at the end of the day, it’s the best course of action for everyone involved. What she wishes wouldn’t happen again are those nights, coupled with him badmouthing her to others out of remorse for his own actions.

If we once again consider the queer factor in the relationship between Morrissey and Johnny, it wouldn’t surprise me if Morrissey followed the same reasoning when Johnny went back to Angie because, as much as Morrissey loved him, he wouldn’t be able to give him the stability of a straight relationship. (That isn’t to say Johnny didn’t love Angie, btw. I’m sure he loved her deeply and he still does, but I also think at the time some internal conflict was present because, on some level, he reciprocated Morrissey’s feelings.)

That last line, “… and call on love to be kind, and I too shall pray, Let me be kind” reminds me of I Know It’s Over:

It takes strength to be gentle and kind

This can be applied to many situations, but I feel like it becomes especially relevant in the context of the love of your life leaving you for someone else, who you also care about.

PART IX The protagonist goes back home to Canada and has to face the invasive questioning of neighbours who see her with a big belly but no wedding ring. After a while though, she realises she must see the man she loves and so she leaves to meet him once again.

“I am lonely. I cannot be a female saint. I want the one I want. He is the one I picked out from the world. I picked him out in cold deliberation. But the passion was not cold. It kindled me. It kindled the world. Love, love, give my heart ease, put your arms round me, give my heart ease. Feel the little bastard.”

- “I want the one I want.” → “I want the one I can’t have.” - “Put your arms round me.” → “All I ask of you is one thing that you never do / Would you put your arms around me? (I won’t tell anyone).” (Tomorrow)

PART X The final chapter opens with the line that gave the book its title: “By Grand Central Station I sat down and wept.” He didn’t come to collect her, so she has a breakdown right in the middle of the station. The ending is kind of confusing. It looks as if she resigns herself to go back to him just to have sex with him, and she tries to convince herself everything is fine, but it clearly isn’t.

Elizabeth Smart went back to George Barker time and time again, even though their relationship was dysfunctional to say the least and they were both very damaged, egotistical individuals. He cheated on her repeatedly but she loved him nonetheless, so I guess it would make sense for the book to end like this as well.

“They obey the glint in the middle of my glazed eye, for it is the fierce last stand of all I have.” → “Gasping - but somehow still alive / This is the fierce last stand of all I am.” (Well I Wonder)

“I wanted only one thing. I gave you the full instructions. The name, I spelt it out in letters as long as a continent, even the address, the address that makes waterfalls of my blood because it is also her address. I said quite plainly and loudly: This is what I want. I want this, and I don’t want any bonus. Just give me this and I’ll pay any price you ask. I made no reservations. You took advantage of this. I never grudged. But, Sir, so what I plead is just – what are you stalling for? There is no more to give.”

This entire paragraph reminds me of Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want.

“He hangs, damp with his impotent tears, nailed by one hand to Love and by the other one to Pity.”

This man is split between love and duty and can’t seem to be able to make a decision, with everyone suffering as a consequence, including him. That’s what the protagonist sees. What I see is a man who likes to have his ego stroked and doesn’t mind a bit of drama. It’s not that he’s unable to make a decision, he just doesn’t want to.

“Is it possible he cannot hear me when he lies so close, so lightly asleep? […] My dear, my darling, do you hear me when you sleep?”

These parts were clearly used by Morrissey as inspiration for the lyrics of Well I Wonder (which, like What She Said, was based almost entirely on this book – I even think they were written back to back.)

Well I wonder Do you hear me when you sleep?

“This is the very room he chose instead of Love. Let it be quiet and full of healing. […] It is the cursed comfort he preferred to my breast. The one who shares it weeps silently in corners, is tender unnoticed, and makes his necessary tea. ‘Have you seen my notebook, dear?’ ‘It is under the desk, my sweet.’ Give it to him, O my gentle usurper, whom I also have usurped, my enemy whom I have both killed and been killed by. […] He also is drowning in the blood of too much sacrifice. Lay aside the weapons, love, for all battles are lost.”

At last he’s made his choice and if we’ve learned something from history it’s that a man’s comfort will always be more important than a woman’s safety and peace of mind.

FINAL COMMENTS As I said before, one of the reasons I think Morrissey was inspired by this book is that he found its story to be relatable, but it’s not just that. The language, as you may have noticed by reading some of its quotes, is quite poetic, abstract and melodramatic, with a major focus on introspection and an underlying sense of pervasive melancholy. This is an artistic quality that both Morrissey and Johnny had in common, even though they expressed it differently: one through his lyrics, the other through his sound. Ultimately, I think Morrissey found By Grand Central Station… very useful creatively and personally. Creatively because it gave him the inspiration to write some of his best songs (also, here’s a reminder that both Moz and Johnny declared Well I Wonder as one of their favourite Smiths’ songs at some point), and personally because it provided him with an outlet to confront his feelings for Johnny, which I think must have been quite tumultuous. With a shortage of LGBT media which was even more prevalent in the 80s, queer people often had to read between the lines of straight stories to find something to relate to, and I feel like that’s what Morrissey did. Personally, after reading it I found myself surprised by the superficiality with which most people (biographers, reviewers etc.) talked about its role in Morrissey’s lyrics, because clearly there’s so much more to it than stealing a line here and there. It’s also about him feeling invested in a story because it spoke to him and it represented him, at least partially, in an era when anyone who didn’t fit in with society’s standards of what it meant to be a man or a woman might as well not have existed at all.

[saxxxology]

THE CURSED - Ch.2

Being an English Princess in 1739 is everything for Y/N, a Princess from a prosperous, powerful kingdom, to be happy about… until her parents arrange for her to marry a Prince from a nearby kingdom against her wishes. Unable to join her on her journey, the Royal family hires the Winchesters, two experienced Rangers, to guide her. However, the Princess and the younger brother begin to display affection for each other, and when her heat threatens her life, Sam makes a possibly deadly decision to save it.

PAIRING: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader

WORD COUNT: ~3000

OVERALL WARNINGS: a/b/o dynamics (heat/rut, claiming, knotting), age gap, smut of varying levels, descriptions of injury and gore, a tad of dub-con and 18th-century sexism from time to time, occasional bits of angst, fighting, and violence, eventual minor character death

NOTE: Edited by @crispychrissy and @quiddy-writes - please heed all warnings! Please keep in mind that this series is set in the 18th century - society is not what it is today. I do not control where your eyes go; if you feel disturbed or think something may trigger you, it is your responsibility to either stop reading or scroll past.

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The following evening, they came upon an inn. As they entered, a woman, tall, with graying brown hair, dressed in a brown and white tavern maid’s outfit looked up from the bar. When she saw Sam and Dean, she smiled, revealing rather straight white teeth.

“Well, I haven’t seen you boys in a while,” she reached over the bar to clap the boys on the shoulder with a grimy hand. She had a soft Scottish accent and had a glint in her eye that Y/N had often heard stories about. “I’d know that damned Winchester scent anywhere. Where in God’s name have you boys been for the past six months?”

Sam laughed and shrugged his fur cloak off before draping it over the stool next to him. “Miss Ellen, this is Y/N, Dean and I are escorting her to her… her wedding.”

“I thought you boys were bloody Rangers.”

“We are,” Sam explained, “but when you’re promised two thousand crowns…”

“Ahhh…” Ellen eyed Y/N as the girl perched on the edge of a barstool. “Pretty little thing, in’t she? And young.”

“Eighteen.” Sam smiled as the barmaid set down three tankards of mead. “Y/N, try the mead. Miss Ellen here’s got the best in the land.”

“God willin’,” Ellen crossed herself and smiled proudly before shooting a glare towards Dean. “And you, my Joanna Beth had better be safe and happy or I swear I’ll stop ye from knotting anything ever again.”

Despite the threat, Dean grinned. “She’s safe in Dolgellau, ma’am. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“And no babes yet?”

“I think we’d be quicker to tell you if there were.”

“I’d hope,” Ellen flicked her soft brown eyes to Y/N. “Tell me, Y/N, are you a prayin’ girl?”

Y/N nodded and sipped at the sweet liquor. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” Ellen brought her kitchen towel down on Sam’s shoulder, making him jump and spill mead from his overflowing tankard on himself. “Better pray this young buck here doesn’t take you for his own.” She laughed as Sam blushed heavily and tried to wipe himself clean and Dean sniggered. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, Winchester, we both know how y’are. And your brother was just as bad until he settled down with my little girl.” She looked at Y/N, who was watching the banter with a slight look of nervousness on her face. “Took her right behind my back without even askin’ me first."

“I’m not—” Sam fell silent at the look Ellen shot him and took a long swallow of his drink. “Well, we’re just passing through, but we could use a room for the night.”

“Keep two open all the time.” Ellen nodded and reached for two keys that hung from a belt around her waist, handing one to each man. “Always expect you boys to come around, they’re all yours for as long as you need.”

***

Sam insisted on sleeping in the same room as Y/N/ He couldn’t deny that Dean’s presence around her was bothering him, and Dean retreated to his own room after exaggerating a yawn, bading them goodnight, and shooting Sam a look that said don’t try anything.

Days of travel had caused them to become dirty, and Sam filled a small metal tub with warm water heated over the fireplace. Y/N, contrary to what Sam had initially believed, did not mind nudity. He’d expected her to be shy and fearful of exposing her naked form in front of a man she’d known for less than a week, but nevertheless, she tugged her muddy bodice and dress off and sank into the steaming water. Sam turned his back—out of respect, not because he wanted to—and occupied himself with cleaning his bow and straightening the feathers on his arrows.

Y/N quickly scrubbed herself with sweet-smelling lye soap before wrapping herself in a sheet and stepping out of the water. When she dropped it to put on a nightdress from her travel case, Sam couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of one small, firm breast silhouetted in the firelight before it was covered in soft, cream-colored fabric. If she knew he’d seen her, she didn’t say anything.

After Sam washed, they used the soapy water to rinse their muddy clothes and hung them by the fire to dry. By the time they were cleaned up and ready to eat, it was dark. Dean was nowhere to be found, so Sam and Y/N journeyed downstairs to take advantage of the roasting meat and fresh bread that had been rising in the kitchen when they’d first entered, and Sam soon left Y/N at a table to catch up with Ash, a scraggly barkeeper he hadn’t seen in a while.

She was halfway through her meal when a large, grubby hand took her by the arm and yanked her upwards.

“Mm…” a voice growled, in her ear, “you smell delicious, little Omega. Bet you’re ripe for the pickin’, huh.”

Too frightened to scream, Y/N froze in terror as another hand groped at her breast through the fabric of her dress.

“Young, too,” a different voice muttered, and Y/N looked up to see two very tall, very large Alphas staring her down. She trembled violently in their grip and winced as the Alpha gripping her breast gave her nipple a violent pinch. An audible gasp of pain and fear left her lips, and they laughed.

“Ahh, Tucker, I think she likes you.”

“Yeah, I think she does.” The man called Tucker gripped Y/N’s hair and tugged her head back. “What do you think, darlin’? I can smell your heat coming, you’re gonna be beggin’ for me to claim you when it's fully come ‘round.”

“Sam!” Y/N found her voice and cried out. “Sam, please, help me—!”

“Shut up!” Tucker roughly shoved her back against the wall and wrapped his fingers around her throat. Patrons were stopping to look, and Y/N felt ready to pass out from the panic racing through her. “Stupid little Omega, crying out for your Alpha.” He grabbed her still-damp hair and pushed it to the side, exposing her neck as he searched for a mark. “But you’re not claimed yet, are y—”

He fell away as something large and heavy slammed into him. He collapsed to the floor, the wind knocked out of him. Y/N looked up with tears blurring her vision to see Sam standing over her would-be attacker; he’d body slammed the man with every ounce of strength.

The powerful Alpha rolled his shoulders back as he prepared for a full-on brawl. “Get away from her.” He growled, and Y/N swore his eyes turned yellow, the pupils long and slanted in the golden orbs. “She’s mine.”

Tucker stared up at Sam, horror spread across his face. “You… what are you?”

Sam bared his teeth at the man and advanced, sending him scuttling back and into the legs of a stool. “Never mind what I am,” he muttered, “you were going to claim her against her will. That is a crime, you know that. From what I hear, the punishment is being put in the stocks and getting a hundred lashings before having the title of your crime branded onto your forehead.” He drew a dagger from his belt and traced it up the man’s chest and over his arms. “And I wager that I could bargain my way into bein’ the one to deliver both. Now, is that really worth claiming an Omega that rejects your advances?”

“I—” Tucker gulped and raised a hand as Sam stood over him. “I was only having a laugh, I swear, I wasn’t going to—!”

“Answer me!” Sam bellowed. “Is it worth it?”

“N-no!”

With a predatory growl, Sam slit the knife over the man’s cheek, leaving a deep cut that would inevitably scar. Tucker yelped and clutched at the wound as blood began to drip through his fingers.

“Take that as a permanent warning and get out.” Sam snarled. “And if I ever see your damned face again I swear on my life that I will rip you apart piece by piece and put your head on a pike. Do you understand me?”

The two Alphas left as fast as they could, pushing through the crowd and racing through the open door. Everyone stared after them as Sam turned back to Y/N, blue and green flooding the fiery yellow that had temporarily inhabited them.

“Come here.” He held out his hand and pulled her through the crowd and up the stairs, and the second they were safely inside their room, he locked the door.

Y/N was shaken up and repeatedly touched her upper arm and chest where the Alpha had brazenly grabbed her. “Sam, I didn’t provoke him, I swear—”

“It wasn’t you,” Sam rolled up her sleeve and touched her arm gently. “He could smell you, half the Alphas in there could. They just chose not to act on it.”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears. “If you hadn’t come…”

“Don’t think about it,” Sam lifted her chin to look at her throat, rage burning in his chest at the sight of the reddening marks. “You’re safe now."

“But what was that?” Y/N asked, “your eyes, they turned… they turned yellow. Why?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“But—”

“It doesn’t concern you.”

Sam responded louder than he’d wanted to. Y/N shrank back and folded her arms protectively across her chest, and Sam apologetically reached out for her. When she flinched away, a pang of guilt filled his stomach.

“I scared you.” He knelt in front of her and bowed his head in shame. “I didn’t think. I let my emotions and my feelings control me and I did something in front of you that was… unbecoming. I am sorry.” Sam took a deep breath and waited for her to speak.

“I forgive you,” she murmured, “I admit, I wasn’t expecting you to react that way, but what’s done is done.” She took his hand and helped him to stand, and Sam noticed that although her voice was steady, tears threatened to drop from her eyes. “Come on, let’s get to bed.”

Sam’s chest ached when he saw her rubbing at her eyes as they settled under the thick blankets. Several minutes later, he was just about to doze off when he felt Y/N shudder next to him. Thinking that maybe she was cold, he turned to check.

The moonlight illuminated tears trailing out of the corners of her eyes, and she promptly wiped them away when she caught him looking.

“Y/N?”

“I’m okay.”

Sam rolled onto his side and raised himself up on one elbow. “No, tell me what’s wrong. I know that Alpha scared you, but he won’t touch you ever again, I won't let him. I won’t let any Alpha hurt you.”

“I don’t—” she sniffed and wiped her eyes on the pillow. “I don't want to get married. I won't be happy, I just know it.”

Sam swallowed and watched fresh tears spill from her eyes. He felt himself growing angry again; he didn't believe in forced or arranged marriages and Y/N was entirely right to be upset. But he wanted her, needed her. The actions of the Alpha downstairs had solidified that, and if his life and soul wouldn't be in danger afterwards, he’d solve the problem and make her his right there as she lay next to him.

“You don't have to if you don't want to,” Sam tilted his head and gazed at her. “You could always come and stay with us.”

Y/N shook her head. “I could be killed if I don't… or my family could be punished…”

She sniffed again, burying her face in the pillow. Sam gently touched her shoulder and felt her tremble at the feeling. It seemed like every time they touched, the mutual feeling they had grew stronger and stronger.

Sam shook the feeling off. “Are you more upset because it’s arranged or because he’s not an Alpha?”

“Both.” Her voice was quiet and thick with emotion. “I want to marry someone I love, not someone who won't be able to properly—”

“—satisfy you.” Sam finished her sentence for her.

Y/N nodded and swallowed thickly. “I’ve heard of Omegas dying because their heat makes them too ill and improper mates can't satisfy them… I don’t want that. I just want someone to love me and not treat me like some breeder they can use to solve their problems.”

Ignoring the throbbing in his gut, Sam pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back soothingly. She curled up against him and cried silently into his chest. “I'm sorry this is happening to you,” he whispered, “but you won't be alone.”

“What do you mean?”

“You think I'd just leave you there?” Sam smiled affectionately down at her. “I'd come by to see you, I'm not heartless.”

Y/N swallowed and tearfully returned the smile. Sam had to fight the urge to dip his head and kiss her. He doubted she’d ever been kissed before. Before he knew what he was doing, he was leaning in and pressing his forehead against hers. He breathed in her scent and closed his eyes as he reached up to grip her shoulder.

“Sam,” Y/N breathed, “what are you doing?”

He gritted his teeth and fought against the pull in his gut that told him to kiss her. “I… I can’t lie to you, I’m finding myself very attracted to you.”

She stiffened against him and he felt her press her thighs together. “We can’t, Sam. I admit, I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t care. You saved me tonight, I’m thankful for that and I owe you…”

He shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything.”

Without a second thought, he kissed her, sliding his arms about her body and pulling her close. She pressed her palms against his chest, torn between pulling him closer and giving him a slap across the face for not waiting until she’d finished crying. When he deepened the kiss, taking her lower lip between his teeth, she felt a pang of need course through her, and she instinctively parted her lips to return the kiss, a small moan escaping her lips as she did.

When they separated, both of them stared at each other, breathless and in shock over what had just happened. Sam was the first to speak.

“We shouldn’t.”

Y/N nodded in agreement. “I’m betrothed.”

Sam chuckled and ran his fingers over her back. She was naked underneath the nightgown she wore, and he barely managed to restrain himself from grabbing handfuls of her ass and pulling her on top of him. “I know… but I don’t care about that.”

“I don’t want to marry, but…” she pulled herself from his grip, and Sam almost whined at the loss of her touch, “I can't do it, Sam, I just… I just hope that was enough.”

“Not nearly,” Sam gripped her hand and brought it to the base of his length, grinning as she trembled at the feeling of his cock, hard and warm through the thin fabric of his trousers. “This is what you’ve made me feel for days. I just refuse to act like that Alpha downstairs…”

She gazed up at him. “I’ve never…”

“I’m not asking you to,” he sighed as her hand withdrew from him. “I wish you’d allow me to touch you. Taste you.”

Y/N shivered. “I can’t, my husband would—”

“He’s not your husband yet.” Sam implored. “And he never will be. Just like you said, a husband loves his wife, cares for her. He doesn’t treat her like a piece of meat he can stick his cock in whenever he likes.” He rose up on his arm and gazed down at her. “Your heat is going to start soon, Y/N, and when that happens…”

“I know,” she replied, her eyes fluttering closed, “I know what I’ll want, what I’ll need. It scares me.”

Sam clicked his tongue and brushed his fingers over her cheek. “You needn’t be scared. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. But if it comes to your life, I’ll save it, no matter the cost.”

Y/N swallowed and turned her face against his palm. “I’m a virgin, Sam, you must know that.”

Sam hesitated. He’d only been with one virgin Omega before. The thought of hurting her scared him, but something more important ate away at his mind.  There was a wedding that needed to happen, if she was knotted before—especially by an Alpha of Sam’s size—her Beta husband would surely know on their wedding night.

“I don’t care,” he decided. “I wouldn’t care if you were whoring yourself out to every man in the world.”

Y/N laughed at that. “I can't believe we’re here. I never thought you even liked the idea of having to escort me anywhere, much less my own wedding.”

“Well,” Sam took the opportunity to press himself back against her, “I was very interested in the money, but then I realized I had something better than the money.” He kissed her again. “You.”

This round of kissing was softer, more tender, and Sam put everything he had into it, eventually pulling her atop him so that she lay across his chest, her arms at his shoulders. She was almost comically small, and that only made him want her more.

“Thank you, Sam,” she finally murmured, resting her head on the pillow once they’d broken apart.

He chuckled and let her rest her head against him. “You're welcome, Princess.”

If you want to see chapter 3, reblog and leave a comment! Feedback is my fuel!

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[itsclydebitches]

If you're still taking prompts. How about a cloqwork one where some students find Qrow in his crow form and Oz has to rescue him from the students who want to take him to a vet or the equivalent of. (Love your fics!!)

Thanks, anon!! Ngl, I had a lot of fun with this one :D 

“Ah, Tai. You’re early. Please sit. If you’d like I can have Poppy send up some…” Ozpin paused, taking note of the otherwise empty elevator. “Where’s Qrow?”

Tai immediately adopted a wounded expression, both hands rising to press against his heart. “Really? No ‘Good to see you, Tai’ or ‘How have you been, Tai?’ Three months with barely a word and you immediately forget about me for that overgrown child.” He gave a disgusted sniff. “I see how it is.”

Ozpin tried to tame his smile and largely failed. “Would you believe me if I said it was only because I fear what will become of Qrow if he’s left unsupervised?”

“…maybe.”

“I did miss you. Surely you know that.”

Tai’s banter faded in the face of Ozpin’s real concern. He shook his head, crossing the office to pull him into a rough hug. Ozpin froze for just a moment before he curved forward, letting Tai take some of his weight. A sigh escaped before he could call it back. Tai had always been a good hugger.

“Of course I know,” he said, rubbing a small circle into Ozpin’s back. “For someone who’s supposedly a genius you can be really stupid, man. Case in point: you married my brother-in-law.”

Ozpin made a choking sound that might have passed for a laugh. He pulled back. “I’m not sure many would consider that late night escapade to be marriage, precisely.”

“It is legal?”

“…technically.”

“Than you’ve got no wiggle room in my judgement.”

Fair enough. With a shake of his head Ozpin lead Tai firmly into the chair across from his desk, determined to play the part of host even if it was no longer needed between them. It also gave Ozpin time to pull back the tatters of dignity that clung to him and try to twist them into something protective. There’d been… a lot going on lately and seeing someone other than a peer or a student was more of a balm than Ozpin could say. Glynda herself had too much formality to dare break through his and James had needed someone to lash out at recently. Ozpin didn’t begrudge him that—the man had more on his plate than most—but he couldn’t pretend that it didn’t get tiring. Seeing someone sit in that chair for no other reason than because they wanted to visit… that was appreciated. Immensely so.

The only thing that would have made it better was if the man Tai was supposed to be visiting with had actually showed up. Ozpin’s eyes strayed back to the elevator, Qrow still nowhere to be found.

“He’s fine,” Tai said, knocking the sand pendulum on Ozpin’s desk so it made a deep ravine. He picked up a bit of the sand and rubbed it between his fingers. “We separated in Vale because I wanted to do some shopping for the girls. I thought he was coming straight here…” For just a moment a flash of concern crossed Tai’s features, then he shook his head. “But he probably got distracted. Maybe by the bar? Not that the bar is more important than you!”

Ozpin’s lip twitched. “Do you think me so sensitive that I’d take offense to my husband taking some time to himself?”

“You’re moping.”

“I am not!”

“I know what moping looks like on you, Oz. It’s distraction and churning your cocoa instead of drinking it.”

Ozpin froze, no longer turning his mug around and around in his hands. He scowled and set it aside completely.

“You’re an infuriating man.”

“And you love me anyway.” With a wink Tai bent to heft up the bag at his feet, depositing a number of clothes, toys, and various knick-knacks onto the desk. Ozpin watched the pile grow with tempered amusement. He finally tore his eyes from the elevator.

“I assume this is the shopping?”

“Ruby is five next month. Five.” Tai took up a little red dress and shook it forcefully in Ozpin’s face. “She’s growing like a weed now. Same with Yang and frankly I don’t know how I’m going to keep them both clothed.”

Ozpin picked up an article, eyebrows raised. “It might help if you invested in something other than pint-sized biker jackets.”

“And lose the look on my firecracker’s face when she opens this? Never. So… you gonna come to the party? It’s just a little get together. Nothing fancy.”

Tai already knew the answer though. He didn’t need to look up at Ozpin’s apologetic face to confirm it. He’d met Yang as an infant, holding her close and beaming so wide you’d think he’d been the father there… and yet he’d never once done the same for Ruby. Oh, Ozpin had been legitimately busy right after her birth, but by the time he was back in Vale, Summer had—

Tai stopped that train of thought, swallowing. And that right there was why he understood; why he was never mad at Ozpin’s various travels and meetings and obligations that inevitably came up. Because Summer had been special to Ozpin, all of Team STRQ had, and he couldn’t blame the guy if he didn’t want to look at the spitting image of his former student in infant form. Hell, some days even Tai found it hard and yes, he felt sufficiently guilty about it, thanks.

He wished Ozpin would try someday though. For him. Qrow. Ruby. Himself. They might look alike, but Ruby was her own, spitfire person. Five minutes would tell anyone that—and she was someone worth knowing.

(Though admittedly, he was a little biased.)

With a light chuckle he began replacing his gifts in the bag. Already Yang was mimicking her dad and uncle, attacking imaginary grimm with backyard sticks… and Ruby was mimicking Yang. Tai could easily see his girls attending Beacon someday and on the heels of that was the thought that this repressive, incredibly stubborn man might actually wait until then to see her.

Well. That’d be one hell of a meeting.

“I’ll send her a gift,” Ozipin said softly. He hesitated. “Anonymously. There are these wonderful plushies sold in town now. Handmade, you know. They’re quite good. Perfect for a little girl about her age. Yes. Perhaps I’ll get two.”

This was how Ozpin rambled: short, clipped sentences. Like his brain was firing too fast and he had to spit things out exactly as they came. Tai stood and moved to place a hand on his shoulder, hoping that his expression conveyed what his words probably couldn’t.

“She’ll love it,” he said. “Provided you understand that she and Yang will probably rip the plushie’s head off during a mock grimm battle. No toy is safe in our house. Nothing personal.”

Ah, there was the smile. “Hence why I’ll buy multiples.”

“Just more cannon fodder,” Tai countered, feeling the shoulder shake. “You know, one time I picked up Yang a—”

There was a beat of silence. “Tai?”

“Something’s going on.”

Which at a school for huntsmen could mean anything from generic teenage shenanigans to something that might end in a number of his students’ deaths. Ozpin was out of his chair in an instant, calmly moving Tai aside to get a look out the window.

Yes, there was a large - and now growing - group of students sequestered around something out front. Ozpin watched, concerned, as they all leaned in close at whatever had fascinated them. Something that was apparently on the ground...

... and then that something shot into the sky. It wavered, turned over once, twice, and then plummeted back to the earth. The crowd followed it eagerly and the circle reformed.

Tai had moved to rest his head against the glass in a gesture of defeat. “Please tell me that’s just some random crow out there.”

Ozpin was already halfway to the elevator.

“'Course not.” Tai snatched up his shopping and followed.

Never let it be said that a man with multiple lifetimes under his belt and access to the best Atlesian tech didn’t know how to plan properly. Most of the time the Beacon elevator was nice and slow—providing Ozpin with time to prepare for guests and guests time to prepare for him. Press the hidden button on the opposite wall though and you plummeted. They were downstairs and out the door in a matter of seconds.

Tai was still trying to find his stomach when Ozpin hailed his students.

“What’s this now? Something caught your eye?” Only old friends would have picked up on the hitch in his words; how he traversed the grass just a little more quickly than usual and without his customary cane. A boy with bright blue hair and twisting horns stepped back to let their headmaster through.

“We found it like this,” he said, pointing at the crow splayed out on the ground. “We didn’t hurt it or anything, sir, but I think it needs a vet.”

A girl nodded sagely. She was wringing both hands anxiously, staring imploringly up at Ozpin. “He’s not acting right. I’ve kept birds, sir—my family has aviaries—and I’ve never seen a crow act like this before.”

As if in response, said Qrow twisted around and finally caught sight of Ozpin and Tai. The effect was immediate: flapping his wings in a disorganized manner, a croaking (and yet somehow happy) caw making them all wince. Qrow flopped around more like a fish than a bird and a vein Ozpin’s forehead jumped.

“How much did you have to drink?” Tai hissed. Qrow tried to stand and only succeeded in falling onto his back, little feet kicking in the air. Ozpin briefly shut his eyes as the boy who’d first spoken bent a little closer.

“Huh,” he said, taking a large whiff. “He does smell like alcohol.”

“Okay.”

Time to clean up this mess before the kiddies discovered exactly how different this particular crow was. Or worse, Qrow himself got it into his head that now would be a perfect time to transform. Tai none too subtly elbowed Oz in the ribs and another student—hardly looking older than his girls, sweet dust—stared with open awe.

Ozpin nodded, expression tight. “I’ll take care of this.” He tried to muster up a smile for the students. “This is far from the first time an animal has wandered onto campus. I’ll make sure this… crow is well cared for.”  

“I’m sure you will.” It slipped out before Tai could stop it and oh, scary look from Oz.

He bent to retrieve their wayward companion—Qrow noticing his sudden closeness and trying to tumble towards him, that godawful squawk filling their ears—when the girl intercepted. Ozpin stared at the hand on his arm, bemused, but the girl was too busy shaking her head to notice.

“You can’t touch him barehanded, sir! He might be carrying a disease, or he could bite you…”

“I’m sure he won’t bite, Ms. Davis.”

“You can’t know that!”

It was probably the only time these youngsters had ever spoken back to their esteemed headmaster and Tai gave the girl props for sticking to her guns, no matter how unwarranted.

Although, he was a lot less amused when Ozpin reached in and stole Ruby’s new dress, using it to scoop Qrow up with.

“Hey!”

“Perhaps he’ll pee on it,” Ozpin murmured, lips twitching, and Qrow’s head perked up like basic bodily functions sounded wonderful right now. Tai had a finger in his face a millisecond later.

“Don’t you dare,” he hissed. “I will pluck you and use you as pillow stuffing.”

“Excuse me, but… do you always threaten birds? Who are you exactly?” The boy was staring unabashedly at Tai while the rest of the crowd openly cooed at Ozpin cuddling said bird to his chest. More than one scroll camera flashed.

Tai turned to answer and when he did Ozpin was already halfway across the grass, muttering something indistinct and besotted at the drunk-as-hell bird. Tai resisted a sigh. Lagging behind again, huh?

“Someone who has very poor taste in friends,” he said. Tai smacked a hand down on the boy’s shoulder. “Don’t be me, kid.”

“O…kay?”

“Good. Now, all of you go train or eat or whatever the hell it is Beacon kids do these days. Go fling yourselves off cliffs. That was a fun. Hey, did you ever hear about the time—?”

The kids scattered. Leave it to a reminiscing old man to do that job. With a shake of his head Tai turned back towards the tower, but Ozpin was now just a smudge in the distance, his arms a protective circle in front of him. Hmm. Maybe he really would give them some time alone.

“Second best. As always,” Tai muttered, but it was said with an unquantifiable fondness. He shot off a text to Oz letting him know he’d be back again tomorrow. He didn’t expect him to read it for some time. 

Do me a favor and grab a pic of Qrow in Ruby’s dress. We can add it to the skirt collection - Tai  

[bamby0304]

With Wolves- Ch.4

Series Masterlist Bamby’s Masterlist

Summary: Known as The Omen, your reputation puts fear in some of the most dangerous and deadly Alphas. So when you’re caught and sent to the worst maximum security facility unknown to man, no one expected an unclaimed Omega to walk through the gates in shackles and an orange jumpsuit. Word circulates, and before long there’s a price on your head. Who will claim the untamed Omega?

Series Taglist is Closed

Warnings: Explicit language. A/B/O dynamics. Prescribed experimental drug use. Mentions of violence.

Bamby

You were sitting in the cafeteria, minding your own business- which you’d successfully done for the past three days- when two large, imposing, and impossible bodies took the empty spaces on either side of you. The roll of your eyes was automatic. The tightening grip on your plastic spoon was an attempt not to lash out. The way the hairs on the back on your neck stood to attention was involuntary.

“Go. Away.”

Dean shook his head as he sat on your left. “Sorry, sweetheart, that’s not happening.”

Turning to him, you glared. “It is taking a lot of self-control not to kill you right now. So, I repeat, go away.”

“We’re here to help,” Sam assured you from your right.

Spinning in your seat, you shot him a glare then. “How many fucking times do I have to say this? I don’t need help.”

“Maybe right now.” Dean shrugged. “But you’re gonna need some friends eventually, sweetheart. This place can get pretty… lonely.” His hand reached out to brush some hair from your shoulder.

You snapped.

Grabbing his wrist, you pulled him away from you as the fingers of your other hand wrapped around his throat. You jumped out of your seat, pushing him back into the concrete table so the edge dug into him uncomfortably as your claws pricked at his throat.

Sam was up a fraction of a second after you, ready to tear you away from his brother. But one look over your shoulder with a shake of his head, Dean silently told Sam to back off.

Once he was sure Sam wouldn’t lay a finger on you, Dean’s eyes returned to yours. “Sweetheart… let go.”

“No,” you snarled, snapping at him, your chest heaving.

He stayed calm even as blood rolled down the column of his neck. “Do you want the guards to sedate and throw you in the Pit?”

Eyes tearing away from Dean, you glanced over at where the guards were now watching the two of you intently. One in particular was drumming his fingers on his gun, watching, waiting, as if he was itching to lock you away. As if he was praying you’d give him a reason to stick you with a needle and then stick you in the dark.

Growling lowly, lightly, out of frustration and anger, you released your hold on Dean and pulled back. You bumped into Sam and stopped, neither of you moving as you focused on Dean. He wiped the blood from his neck, looking down at the red on his palm. There was a flash in his eyes, something that made your insides twist in a way they hadn’t before… a way that actually felt good. But you ignored it, pushing it away.

“You are going to be a handful,” Dean chuckled as he pushed himself up to his feet. “I like that.”

“I hate you,” you countered, still feeling that anger bubbling away. It wouldn’t take much for you to explode.

Eyes raking over you, Dean shook his head. “No, you don’t. You just won’t admit it.”

The three of you stood there, oblivious to the expectant crowd in the dining hall. They were all hoping for a fight. All praying for some action. You’d come to learn that there wasn’t much to do in this place, so whenever a fight broke out it drew numbers in like moths to a flame.

“Y/N.”

A beat passed before you tore your eyes away from Dean and turned to the new voice. It was a man, a Beta, and a doctor. You could tell by the white coat he wore, which you felt was a little cliché but this place had practically come out of some horrible action movie set, so you weren’t that surprised.

He was a little older than you, short, completely unintimidating. He had a British accent, you noted, recalling the sound of your name coming from him. Dark hair, slightly styled, and no doubt dyed. Friendly eyes that looked a little too warm and welcoming on a staff member of this facility. He looked odd in comparison to everyone else you’d come across since arriving days ago.

“Yeah?” you asked, suspicion and curious.

The doctor’s lips pulled up into a smile that was a friendly as his eyes. “Come with me, please.” With no other words he turned on his heels and stalked away.

Pausing a moment, you glanced over at Dean one last time. He grinned and winked at you, causing you to glare at him before you took your leave and followed the doctor.

***

The door shut behind you, the doctor closing off the rest of the world, leaving just the two of you in his office.

“Please, take a seat.” He gestured to the medical bed in the middle of the room.

Doing as he said, you moved over and pulled yourself up onto the bed, taking a seat. You felt weird, like you wanted to be uncomfortable but you couldn’t find any reason to. This guy seemed nice enough, and there was nothing threatening in his scent. You felt as if you could trust him.

That fact gave you hope that he might be able to aid in your inevitable escape.

“I’m Dr Davis, but you can call me Mick.”

“I won’t,” you grumbled, still twitchy from your incident with the brothers. “Probably gonna call you Doc, to be honest.”

He chuckled lightly. “Well, considering there are two doctors, that might get a little confusing.” He pulled a chair over from the desk, and sat down in front of you. “I get the feeling you like nicknames, they give you a sense of control and ease.”

“If this is some psych eval, then I’m gonna pass.” You went to push off the bed, but stopped as he lifted an arm in your way. Eyes glaring, you looked from the arm to his face.

Quickly, he lowered the arm and pulled back a little, but not out of fear. You sniffed the air and noticed that there wasn’t a speck of fear on him. It was unnerving. People usually shook in their boots at just the sound of your name. A glare from you could make people literally shit themselves. But this guy? This guy didn’t move because he thought you might snap or attack. No, he moved for you. To give you space. To allow you some of that control and ease he’d just mentioned.

“If it helps,” he went on normally, as if you weren’t still glaring at him, “the other doctor is a female. Maybe you can come up with gender specific names?” He shrugged casually, watching you with a light smile that actually reached his eyes.

Your glare went from warning to curious as you shifted back onto the medical bed again. “Why aren’t I seeing the female doctor?”

There was no hesitation when he answered, his smile falling completely, “Because you don’t want to. Trust me.”

That didn’t sit right with you. Not the trust part, but the fact that he clearly didn’t feel great about his co-worker. Were they incompetent? Were they rough? Were they uncaring? You guessed most staff members in a place like this would be uncaring, but this guy and Chuck hadn’t been too bad. Maybe you’d just been lucky? Maybe they were taking pity on the Omega?

Clearing your throat, you moved on, “So, why am I here, Doc?”

“Routine check-up. We do them weekly, but in your case, I’ve asked to see you a couple of times a week.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not a fool, Miss Y/L/N. You’re an Omega locked away in a prison full of Alphas. You’re the first female we’ve had in this facility, and the first woman these men have seen in years. Decades in some cases. I’m concerned for your safety and wellbeing.”

“I’m a killer,” you noted. “You think they threw me in here for some entertainment? No. Well,” you paused and thought about it for a moment before shrugging, “I get the feeling some find it amusing. But I’m not here for no reason.”

With a short nod, he responded, “I’m aware.”

“But you’re still concerned for me?” you asked, watching him curiously and sceptically. You just didn’t believe the guy.

He simply shrugged. “As a doctor, I’m concerned for all my patience.”

“Right,” you scoffed. “Can we just get this over and done with? This place smells too clean.”

“Okay then.” Standing up, he moved back over to the desk and grabbed a box. Your eyes focused on the box as he headed back over and sat down once more. “Chuck told you about the pills, right?” he asked, getting a nod in return. “These are it.” He opened the box and showed you the little yellow pills inside.

Tearing your eyes away from the pills, you met his gaze and saw something that didn’t say right with you. “They’re not gonna work,” you stated plainly.

“I know.”

If there were some magical pills that could keep an Omega from having her heats then they would be advertised all over the world. Sure, there were some out there that could delay the heat for three to four months, but the end result of those were usually messy… and by messy, you meant hot, sticky and always kept the Omega in bed for days on end.

You doubted that’s what Chuck intended in your case. The last thing he would want was for you to be hit with a heat that’s twenty times more intense than usual. It would drive the Alphas into a frenzy. People would end up dead… and you’d more than likely be one of them.

When he’d mentioned the pills that first day, you’d known the truth he was too blind to see. An experimental drug. It made you scoff. Of course they were handing it out to someone like you. Why would they try something that dangerous on a normal Omega?

By the look on Mick’s face, and his response to your statement, you got the feeling he would have tried to change Chuck’s mind. If he really cared about his patience, Mick wouldn’t just let you go on these. He knew there were three likely ways this would end.

One. You’d end up having no heat for months, just like the other pills. But considering these are supposed to delay them for six to eight months, the heat that would follow would be far too dangerous. It could kill you, or get you killed.

Two. It would do absolutely nothing. That’s best-case scenario. You would continue getting your monthly heats, which you’d grown to deal with for year now. You knew how to defend yourself with a normal heat, so there wouldn’t be too much risk.

Three. The pills would backfire, screw up your cycle, and give you more heats than usual. That was the worst thing that could happen… and you had a gut feeling that’s what was heading your way.

“Could we just lie?” You looked back down at the pills again. “No one has to know I didn’t take them.”

Sighing, Mick shook his head. “You have to take one of these every night. A guard will come to your cell and give it to you. He will watch and inspect you to assure that the pill is swallowed. If they find out you somehow didn’t take it, they will throw you in the Pit as punishment… and then they will make you take the second experimental drug.”

“Why do I get the feeling the second drug is worse?”

“Because it is. It’s a concentrated form which is given weekly… though an injection.”

You shuddered at the thought. Needles were a no-go. You hated needles.

Watching you, he nodded knowingly. “Just take the pill.”

***

Mick had given you a look-over after he put the pills away. You didn’t have one while in his office. Someone would come by your cell before lights out tonight, just like he said they would, and give you a pill then/

If you were being honest… you were concerned. Heats could be bad normally, but add some weird experimental drug into the mix and they could seriously fuck you up. This was not the kind of place where someone like you should go through something like that. On a good day, you were at risk. On a bad day, you were meat.

Sitting in the yard, in a corner you’d claimed as your own for the day, you fiddled with the hair tie that was wrapped around your wrist. You were deep in your own thoughts, guards lower than usual. It was no wonder you were caught by surprise as someone approached you. Fortunately, they weren’t a threat. Unfortunately, it was Castiel.

“What did the doctor say?”

You didn’t bother looking up at him as you responded. “They’re putting me on drugs.”

“For your heats?”

The roll of your eyes was automatic. “Obviously.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

So, he did just that. Well, he tried… “You need an Alpha.”

In an instant, you were up on your feet and stalking towards him until there was barely an inch between the two of you. Castiel was taller than you, but compared to others he didn’t look as domineering anymore.

“I don’t need anyone. I especially don’t need an Alpha.”

But, of course, he disagreed. “If you do not bond with someone you will be torn to shreds when your heat hits. No pill will keep them away forever. Your cycle will finish, your heat will come, and most of these animals will eat you alive… quite possibly literally.”

“I can handle myself.”

“I’ve seen you during your heats. I’ve seen how bad it can get. Don’t lie to yourself.” Turning on his heels, Castiel walked away, leaving you standing there with your thoughts and worries as a storm whirled inside you. This time, though, it wasn’t a storm made from anger. For the first time in a long time, you were actually scared.

***

Lying on your back, looking up at the bottom of Kevin’s bunk above you, your thoughts continued to whirl. You head hadn’t stopped since you left the doctor’s office. His words, and Castiel’s, had plagued you. Not only that, but all those eyes watching you were starting to set you on edge.

Never had you felt the need to be claimed.

You weren’t some crazy man hater. You craved touch like others. You just despised the idea of being owned. Growing up, you heard stories of what it’s like to be Omega. Children don’t tell ghost stories around campfires anymore… they talk of the horrors that are Alphas, and the terrors they bestow on the weak.

Omegas were weak by natural. You had to fight against your own biology in order to become the person you were. It had taken years of training and punishment for you to become so ruthless and heartless. It had taken a close call to shock you into action.

The thought of going through something like that again… you still had nightmares from that night. You still felt the hands and claws clutching and digging. Still felt him…

“You okay?”

Jumping at the sound of Kevin’s voice, your eyes went wide as his head popped over the edge of his bunk so he could look down at you. He was concerned, you could see it. You could sense it. Just like he could sense something was clearly wrong.

Over the three days you’d been here, you and Kevin had actually become somewhat friends. He didn’t hang out with you once the cell was unlocked in the morning, but he was always there at night. When you couldn’t sleep and needed someone to chat to, he was always willing to stay up and be that person.

Never had he asked why you tossed and turned once sleep took over. Never did he question why you tried to distract yourself from the still night silence. Never did he comment on how different you were once the sun was down.

You were a new person in times like this. A person who was easy to talk to. A person who was willing to listen. A person who could laugh without sarcasm, smile like you meant it, joke around, open up a little, and be a little more pleasant than usual. A person Kevin had come to quite like.

When you finally answered his question, you surprised both him and yourself, “Ever get the feeling your time is running out?”

Kevin’s eyes were comically wide… well, they would be if it weren’t for the circumstances. You meant it. Deep down, you could feel something big was going to happen. You could feel something bad was going to happen. You didn’t like it. Not one bit.

“Y/L/N!”

Sitting up, you watched as a guard came up to the cell bars. He was dressed in the all black uniform like the rest of them, only his head clear of clothing. In an instant you recognised him as the one who had been watching you with the Winchester, waiting for you to do something stupid.

Not wanting to give him a reason to throw you in The Pit- because you got feeling a sneeze would trigger this guy- you stood and moved to the bars. There you waited as he pulled out a small yellow pill from his pocket. A grimace tried to fight its way out of you, but you held it back, not wanting to piss the guard off.

Opening your mouth, knowing the drill, you stayed perfectly still as he reached in closer and placed the pill right on your tongue. Then it was his turn to wait as your mouth closed, the pill effortlessly sliding down your throat due to how small it was.

“Let me see,” he ordered, and you noticed then that he had a British accent.

Doing as he said, once again, you opened your mouth to show him that the pill was in fact gone. He paused a moment, a flash of disappointment crossing his features, before he nodded and stepped back. Not another word was said as he walked away.

You waited a moment, just in case, but once you were sure he was really gone you headed back to bed. Kevin was watching. He’d been watching the whole thing. By the look on his face, there was something you ought to know about the guard.

“Get the feeling he’s a bit of an ass.”

“He’s the biggest ass,” Kevin told you, shifting so he too was lying back on his bed. “His name is Ketch. He’s the only one who will punish you for breaking the simplest of rules. The rest just sit back and watch. A lot of stuff happens that shouldn’t, but they don’t care. We’re animals to them. But Ketch?” You imagined Kevin shaking his head.

You hummed, thoughtful. “I would have thought he’d like to watch the violence, too.”

“He does. He just prefers to watch it go down in the Pit.”

At the mention of this ‘pit’ again, you felt your curiosity rise. “This pit as bad as it sounds?”

“I’ve never been down there myself, but Sam and Dean have. They go down there a lot, actually. This is probably the longest they’ve been out in months…”

Not surprising. You thought to yourself. Dean’s a pig-headed Alpha, and Sam follows him like a duckling.

“From what they’ve told me… it’s dark, wet and cold. There’s a few lights, but most of them just flicker. It’s this long room lined with cells. I think it used to be solitary confinement down there, but then they just locked the place down, and started throwing people in. Sam says there’s a window where guards watch the fights.”

Listening to Kevin, you were shocked. This place seemed like it ran smoothly. Sure, there were at least three fights a day, and someone had their throat ripped into with teeth yesterday, but that all seemed expect. The Pit, though? That sounded barbaric. It reminded you of the gladiators in ancient times. It sounded horrible.

That gut feeling churned again, reminding you of your worries.

“What happens down there?” you asked, even though you were pretty sure you already knew. If what you assumed was wrong, then you weren’t sure you’d want to find out the truth.

“Most of the time the Alphas just fight until someone submits.”

That’s what you’d guessed. But there was something about his response that you didn’t like. “Most of the time…”

Knowing what you were asking, he filled in the blanks, “The rest of the time… well, not everyone comes out in one piece. Betas never come back out...”

Everything inside you sunk as that fear from earlier grew. If Betas didn’t fare well down there… you needed to get the hell out of here before you crossed a line that could cost your life.

Bamby

[serenlyss]

Don’t Thank Me Yet Chapter 2

Rating: M (guns, casual murder, torture, violence, ptsd, dissociation, blood, injury) Pairing: ritshou Summary: “Alright then. I’m Shou,” he says, introducing himself more properly this time. “I’m an esper, like you, the first in existence to be forcibly awoken by Claw’s crazy torture machines. They kidnap kids with potential latent psychic powers and break them, over and over, until either their powers emerge or they die. It doesn’t matter either way to them.” His expression hardens as he speaks, clear distaste and outright malice evident in his tone. “I could really use your help here, you know. A partner of sorts, someone to watch my back. What do you say?" Ritsu hesitates. He isn’t a fighter by any means, and the psychic powers now churning beneath his skin are still very new and frightening. It’s all very overwhelming, but Ritsu can’t help but feel a sort of sickening hope at Shou’s promise for revenge. It did have a sort of dark draw to it. In which Claw is a lot worse than they seem and Shigeo isn't able to find his brother after he's kidnapped. Crossposted to AO3: Chapter 2

Chapter 1 // Chapter 3

Here's chapter 2! My idea for the time being is to update every Wednesday if I can, but I'm also doing summer term which means not a lot of writing time left over so those updates may get a bit sparser near the end! At the moment I have almost 5 chapters out of 8 at drafted, so hopefully that will help me have some extra time to make sure everything ends up polished!

Thanks to my beta readers @shutupeleven​ and @soapipia​ for helping me edit this chapter! Your help is much appreciated my friends!

Shou pushes the door of the empty house open with his powers, letting it swing open noisily in front of him. He tightens his grip on the arm around his shoulder, feeling the weight of his partner heavy against his side. His other arm is wrapped around Ritsu’s waist, offering as much physical support as he can. “You still with me, dude?” he asks, making his way over to an old couch in the area of the house that’s been designated the med bay.

He can practically feel Ritsu rolling his eyes at his dramatics as Shou helps him sit down on the couch, wincing as his sore body protests every movement. “I’m not gonna die, Shou, I’m just a little banged up,” Ritsu replies, leaning his head back against the top of the couch with a sigh. “You know I’m more durable than that.”

Shou flashes his friend an amused grin, extending a hand toward a shelf at the back of the room. His red-orange aura appears around his hand and stretches out with an invisible thread to encircle a beat-up cardboard box on the middle shelf, levitating it to his side.

Ritsu carefully shucks off his jacket, which is at this point destroyed beyond repair and covered in his own blood, and discards it to the side of the couch. Shou gives him a quick once-over, taking stock of his injuries. Most of them are clean cuts, inflicted by the window he’d crashed through during their unfortunate brawl. “Guess I’m still not so good at putting up barriers under pressure, huh? Even after all the training you put me through, my reflexes are still slow,” Ritsu sighs.

“It comes with years of practice and muscle memory. You’ve only had a few months to develop your powers, give it some more time,” Shou replies, reaching out a hand to turn over Ritsu’s arm and address the cuts there. Ritsu flinches as his fingers press into a particularly bad cut, earning an apologetic glance from his friend. He continues, “Things got a bit out of hand, anyway. There wasn’t supposed to be a fight, but I guess we weren’t so lucky today.” He reaches deftly for a cloth and dabs an antiseptic solution onto it, pressing it against Ritsu’s cuts. “If everything had gone as planned, we would’ve just killed ‘em all and disappeared, but one of their guys was able to see through my invisibility. Can’t tell you how, but it’s something to keep in mind for the future, I guess.”

Ritsu hisses out a pained breath as the cloth comes into contact with his open wounds, clenching his hand into a fist. Shou continues as though he hadn’t moved at all, and he might have been afraid of coming across apathetic if he isn’t aware of how well Ritsu knows him. “God, that stings. I keep thinking I’ll be used to it next time, but that never happens,” Ritsu grunts, gripping the arm of the chair tightly beside him.

Shou huffs out a short laugh. “Yeah, it never really gets any better, even after years of fighting,” he agrees, gently wiping away the blood that had seeped from Ritsu’s cuts and stained his skin bright red. “Look on the bright side, though: Once these are all healed up in a few days, you’ll have some more badass battle scars to show off!” He flashes Ritsu another lopsided grin, trying to lighten the mood.

“Ah, yeah, I guess espers do heal pretty fast, don’t we?” Ritsu murmurs in response as Shou wraps his arm in clean white bandages, though he doesn’t sound nearly as excited about the scars as Shou does. He already has plenty, after all. He opens and closes his hand experimentally. “My brother’s gonna have a fit when he sees them.”

“It’s one of the perks,” says Shou, moving up to Ritsu’s face now. “You went out shoulder-first, though, so luckily the damage was contained to mostly one arm.” He dabs away a trail of blood that had run down his neck and soaked into the collar of his black shirt, leaving a dark stain behind. “How’re your powers treating you? Feel any better about using them?”

Ritsu hums, closing his eyes for a moment as Shou wipes the cloth over a cut on his forehead. He doesn’t answer right away, and Shou doesn't press him to hurry up. “It still takes me way longer than you to do anything,” he says at last, letting his eyes blink open as Shou moves to push Ritsu’s shaggy hair out of his face with one hand, “but I think I’m getting better at controlling them. I’m still nowhere near as strong as that first night, though. It’s taken a lot of work to get to where I am now.”

Shou nods, pleased. Any progress is good progress, in his eyes. “Well, of course you’re not as good as I am, I’ve had these powers for years,” he replies, tone coming off cocky. “Even though Claw forced them on us, they’re still a part of us, and always have been. Not to mention, they’re good reminders to keep us focused on what we’re fighting against.”

“I could never forget, anyway,” Ritsu says back, voice quiet and grim.

Shou smiles at him, sympathetic, and lets his hand linger on Ritsu’s cheek a moment after he’s removed the cloth from his face. Then he pulls a bandaid out of the box and unwraps it, covering a small but persistently bleeding cut on Ritsu’s forehead. “Yeah, me neither. Still, I am grateful to them for bringing me such a strong and dependable ally. I’ve got Ootsuki and the rest, but they don’t know Claw as intimately as we do. Plus, you’re way smarter than they are.”

Ritsu cracks a small smile at this, and Shou takes it as a victory. Ritsu isn’t nearly as comfortable expressing his thoughts and memories as Shou is, so he sometimes finds himself guessing what words will work as a form of comfort in what situation. “Don’t thank me yet, we haven’t finished what we started,” Ritsu reminds him.

Shou pats his knee to show he’s heard, dropping the stained cloth into a trash can beside the couch. “We’ve come a long way these last few months. Especially you. You’ve changed a lot since the night I found you,” he comments, voice edging on fond.

Ritsu hums, glancing down at his bandaged hand with eyes that stare at something far away from where they are now. It’s not unusual for Ritsu to space out like this, but Shou can’t find himself getting used to the way his gaze fogs over and he falls deathly still and quiet, his soft breathing the only thing rooting him to the living world. He can only imagine what kinds of memories he sinks into when he falls into these moods, if he thinks of anything at all. Ritsu’s unwilling to parse the details of his kidnapping and captivity, subsequent torture, or anything else he experienced in Claw’s awakening lab, and Shou doesn’t want to pry too far, as curious as he is to compare his own experiences against another survivor.

He gives Ritsu a few minutes, moving to address the glass cuts on the bottom of his one bare foot. He’d lost his shoe when the Claw esper had thrown him through the window, and the broken glass had been quick to bite into the soft flesh of his sole. Shou suspects his shoe is probably still back in the base, no one left alive inside to take it for themself. Perhaps Ritsu would be able to retrieve it later, when they inevitably went back to blow the place up entirely. It wouldn’t do to leave it vacant and let Claw send more of their scientists to start work back up again, after all. Shou gently covers his injuries in the same white bandages that now litter Ritsu’s body. The dark-haired boy doesn’t flinch, or acknowledge his existence at all. It’s more than an little worrying when Ritsu falls into trances like this. Once he’s finished bandaging Ritsu’s foot, he decides to break the spell. “Ritsu,” he says, soft and careful.

Ritsu blinks when he hears his name called, knocked out of his reverie by Shou’s curious voice. He’s frozen for a moment, and his eyes dart back and forth as he reorients himself in the present moment. “Sorry, I spaced for a bit there,” he murmurs, reaching up with one hand to push his bangs away from his face. He stares down at his lap, dark lashes hiding his half-lidded eyes. “Did you finish?”

Shou raises an eyebrow at him, faintly amused, and hopes it covers the concern he feels underneath. “Yeah, you’re all good. It’s your turn to do me now,” he says, gesturing to his own bedraggled appearance. He’s not nearly as bad off as Ritsu is, but his hands are cut up and there’s a gash on the back of one of his calves. “What were you thinking about?”

Ritsu lets out a breath, pushing himself to his feet and swapping places with Shou. He doesn’t meet Shou’s gaze, eager to do something with his hands. “Just… stuff,” he replies, and it’s a terrible way to cover up the fact that he’d spiraled into a realm of unpleasant memories.

“Mmhmm, sure,” Shou replies, not convinced in the slightest. He hesitates, wanting to confirm his own suspicions but still conscious of the fact that Ritsu has boundaries that Shou doesn’t, and his traumatic memories are one of the things he doesn’t really talk about. He bites his lip, debating back and forth for a moment before he finally decides to just rip the metaphorical bandaid off. “You were thinking about the night I found you, right?” he asks.

Ritsu freezes for a split-second, not long enough to be noticeable unless you’re really paying attention, like Shou is. Busted. Ritsu chuckles dryly, but there’s no humor in it, and he doesn’t smile, just copies Shou’s earlier actions of wetting a clean cloth with the disinfectant liquid so he can return the favor. Shou rolls up the leg of his pants, granting access to the cut underneath, and doesn't say anything else. He knows that if Ritsu doesn’t want to talk about it, he won’t.

“It happens sometimes. My memories of that night are… foggy,” Ritsu says after a moment, his words carefully chosen. “I remember being locked in this weird pod, and I remember you picking me up in the forest, but in between that it’s just kinda… hazy.” He presses the cloth against Shou’s leg, and Shou squirms, grimacing at the sharp sting that shoots up his calf. Ritsu grasps his ankle with one hand, holding him steady. “Don’t move,” he chastises.

Shou grunts, trying to take his mind off the stinging by focusing on Ritsu’s words. “I’m not surprised. You were exhausted to the point where you could barely stay standing. You’d lost a lot of blood, too, from whatever torture they put you through.” He shakes his head, clenching his teeth at the memory. “I still can’t believe they got those machines to work on someone with your kind of power. Before you, I was the only one.” He huffs out a bitter laugh, glancing away. “The great son of the leader of Claw, the first successful attempt at forcibly awakening a person’s latent psychic power. Can’t say if it was worth the cost, though.”

Ritsu frowns at this, Shou notices, as he tightly bandages his injured calf to keep it from bleeding any further. Shou’s not shy about talking about his own experiences in Claw’s awakening labs, and he bears plenty of scars from his time there, whether it's the singed skin on his back and arms or the thin lines that litter his torso and legs. Memories that will never disappear, etched for eternity into his flesh. He shows his scars proudly. They’re evidence of his ability to survive, to overcome. He takes great pride in recounting the stories of how they got there, stories he embellishes with all the flourish and drama he can muster.

Ritsu isn’t like that, though. He hides his insecurities behind carefully-crafted layers, like the psychic barrier he uses to protect himself from corporeal harm. Going through one would only reveal another, and then another, too many for any one person to break through by force. He covers his scars with gloves and long-sleeved jackets, even in the searing summer heat, even though Shou has seen them all and knows most of the stories behind them.

Ritsu swallows, clearly uncomfortable. He never had enjoyed when Shou brought up his father. “I remember being on the ground when my powers came to me,” he says, and Shou tries to hide his surprise. He’s avoided speaking about anything regarding the awakening lab in the past, unsure if he was ready to face what happened. Perhaps it was just an easier topic than trying to parse Shou’s family trauma. “They’d been torturing me nonstop for two days, trying to get me to break, to force my psychic powers to awaken and protect me. It worked.” He pauses, swallowing thickly. “Shou… back when you found me, the night I broke out of that place, you killed two scientists.”

Shou’s breathing stutters in his chest. He remembers it well, the way he’d shot them to death to keep them away from Ritsu. “Yeah, I did,” he replies, uncertain why Ritsu would bring it up now, a month later.

“You’ve killed a lot of people,” Ritsu continues, eyes still diligently focused on the task at hand.

Shou tenses up. Where is he going with this? “Yeah, I have.”

Ritsu just nods, falling quiet for a moment, as though this isn’t a revelation to him. Shou supposes it probably isn’t. Ritsu isn’t stupid, after all, and he’s see the way Shou handles a gun. Not to mention all the Claw bases they’d demolished in their short partnership.

“I think,” Ritsu begins, wiping away the blood that clings to Shou’s calf and ankle, “that I also killed a lot of people, when I lost control of my power.” He speaks slowly, choosing his words with care. “I don’t remember the details, but I know that some of the people in that lab tried to stop me. It was like I wasn’t even in control of my own body, but I still remember doing it, faintly.” Then, quietly, he adds, “I didn’t want to kill them.”

Shou hums as he listens to Ritsu speak. “You were only protecting yourself,” he says with a frown. “Besides, they deserved what was coming to them. It’s their own fault for getting involved with Claw to begin with.”

“How can you say that so easily?” Ritsu asks, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “Sure, they were members of Claw, and the stuff they did was terrible. I’m not saying it wasn’t, but they… they were still people, in the end.”

Shou’s frown deepens. “So what?” he snaps, harsher and angrier than he intends. His shoulders lift subconsciously, and he feels suddenly defensive. “They hurt us, Ritsu, really badly. That kind of damage can’t be healed by time or therapy or counseling. It’ll never go away, not ever.” He crosses his arms, drawing into himself when he would normally sit with open posture. “They broke us in a way that can’t be fixed, so I think it’s justified if we break them back. Compared to what they did to us, killing them is mercy.” He scoffs, looking away. “Anyway, it’s not like it matters anymore. They’re already dead, so there’s nothing left to talk about.”

Ritsu doesn’t answer, lips turning down in a disapproving frown. Shou notices belatedly that his hands are shaking. The sight of it sends a little shock of regret down his spine: he hadn’t meant to get defensive. In the four months they’ve stayed together, they haven’t butted heads very often, and the times they did were usually over things so small and trivial that they really didn’t matter in the end.

“Like I said, you were protecting yourself,” Shou mumbles, attempting to backpedal. “That must have been why you were so tired when you finally made it up the hill. Once everything was said and done you could hardly keep yourself standing. Adrenaline, probably.” He feels silly, like he’s rambling, but he’s desperate to change the subject now. “I basically had to carry you to the car, and you fell right asleep as soon as I told you to. Higashio hit a pothole halfway back, but you didn’t even react. You did end up leaning on my shoulder, though, somehow,” Shou says as Ritsu’s finishing up cleaning a cut on the side of his neck. “You slept the whole way back. I was pretty impressed. I had to levitate you all the way to the bed, ‘cause you wouldn’t wake up.”

Ritsu flushes pink as Shou speaks, setting aside the rag and grabbing a long band-aid from the box. His hands stop shaking.

Shou’s surprised to see Ritsu blush, and he can’t help the grin that comes to his face as the sour mood seems to lift a little. “Oh? Are you embarrassed? What’s wrong, Ritsu, you lean on me all the time now!” he teases, grateful for the chance to talk about something less heavy. Teasing is easy, even if the implications of their earlier conversation still hang thick in the air.

“Oh, shut up,” Ritsu retorts, but Shou’s teasing only makes his blush darken. It brings Shou a giddy kind of satisfaction to see Ritsu loosen up a little like this. Ritsu continues, “I don’t remember ever getting in the car. Guess my mind was too overloaded.”

“Trauma can do that to a person,” Shou agrees casually, leaning back on the couch as Ritsu finishes his work. “There’s a ton of stuff I blocked out of my memory growing up.”

Ritsu sighs, sitting up and taking a seat on the couch next to Shou. “That’s not a good thing,” he points out, fixing his dark gray gaze on Shou with a frown. “How do you even know that if you don’t remember what you’ve forgotten?”

“Well, it’s like you said. I remember what happened before and after, but my memory just kinda leaps forward in time. There’s an empty space that I know is there because it doesn’t make sense otherwise, but no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to figure out the missing pieces,” Shou explains with a wave of his hand. “They’re not important memories, though. I can live without them.”

Ritsu just stares at him with that same look, wordlessly telling him that his experience isn’t normal or desirable, as though he doesn’t already know.

Shou gulps, glancing away. Ritsu always has been pretty good at seeing right through him. “You know what they say, ignorance is bliss,” he says, though his words are lacking his usual confidence all of a sudden. Clearing his throat, he shifts in his seat, restless. “Er, was there anything else you wanted me to tell you? I don’t mind, you can ask me whatever you like.”

Ritsu shakes his head. “Ah, that’s okay, thanks. I remember everything that happened afterward,” he replies, but it’s clear to Shou that there’s something there, sitting on the tip of his tongue, barely held back by Ritsu’s unwillingness to step out of his comfort zone.

It’s been four months since they’d first partnered up, and Shou has grown somewhat accustomed to the little habits Ritsu uses to subtly express his emotions, like the way he avoids eye contact when he’s feeling vulnerable, or how he’ll fidget when he’s nervous or contemplative. Right now, he’s doing the former, eyes looking anywhere but at Shou as he piles the first aid equipment back into the box in preparation to store it again.

Shou stands and snaps the box up with his hands before Ritsu can, folding it shut and crossing the few steps over to the shelf at the other end of the room. “If you have something else to ask, you should just ask it,” he says. He doesn’t look back at Ritsu, if only because he knows his friend is less likely to ask if he feels like he’s being stared at.

Ritsu chuckles softly at this, leaning back in his seat. “I’m never going to be able to sneak one past you, am I?” he says.

Shou just shrugs, sliding the box into its place on the middle shelf. “I guess you could say I’ve gotten pretty good at reading you,” he replies, though it’s only somewhat true. Much of Ritsu’s mannerisms and habits are still a mystery to him, especially the ones that stem from his experiences with Claw. “So, what’s on your mind? You know you can talk to me, right?”

“I know,” Ritsu says without hesitation, and it puts some of Shou’s doubts to rest. He takes an audible breath, then asks, “When am I going to be able to see my brother? It’s been four months. He probably thinks I’m still missing, if he doesn’t think I’m dead. I want him to know that I’m safe.”

Shou pauses, his hands hovering on the box’s cut-out handles. For a long, silent moment, he just stands there, hands held in front of him. Then, he turns and walks over to where Ritsu is sitting, crouching in front of him and offering him a rehearsed smile. It’s meant to be reassuring, but Shou’s never been very good at that. “You’ll be able to see him soon, I promise,” he says.

Ritsu must pick up on his false persona, because his eyes narrow, and his lips turn down in a frown. Shou knows immediately that he’s fucked up. Ritsu’s glare is dark and biting, sending a shiver down his spine. Shou forgets sometimes how terrifying Ritsu can be, until that anger is turned on him instead of an enemy.

Ritsu stands up hastily, hands bunching into fists at his sides. “Don’t make me a promise you don’t intend to keep,” he snaps, tone harsh and angry.

Shou flinches, already regretful.

Ritsu pushes his way past him and disappears around a corner, and Shou hears the door of his room close behind him with finality.

Shou lets out a soft groan, leaning his forehead on the couch cushion in defeat. He hadn’t meant it like that. He really does have plans to let Ritsu talk to Shigeo, just… not yet. It’s still dangerous, there’s still a chance that Claw could realize their mistake in mixing them up and go after Shigeo instead, and he really doesn’t want Ritsu’s interference to be the reason Shigeo ends up in the same situation the two of them are in now. He knows that being away from his brother is the thing that Ritsu finds the most undesirable about their arrangement, but he just can’t think of a way for the two of them to meet without jeopardizing one or both of them in the process. Ritsu is too important to their mission, too important to him, to risk him falling into Claw’s grip again.

You’re so selfish, he berates himself, clenching his hands into fists. Ritsu isn’t your pawn, you can’t control him.

Shou has never been one to stifle or repress his own feelings and emotions, and because of this, he can’t deny that he cares for Ritsu in a very personal way. It extends beyond the bounds of their self-determined mission, morphing into a feeling that’s a bit deeper and more potent than he’s willing to delve into with the way things are. He frowns. These are dangerous feelings, distracting and unappreciated. If he lets them run wild without putting a cap on them, he’ll end up doing something he regrets. He can’t afford to let such things interfere with the goal he’s worked toward for more than three years now, so he recognizes them, acknowledges them, buries them. There’s no place for such wants here.

I should apologize, he thinks, pushing himself to his feet slowly. He owes Ritsu an explanation, needs to repair what he’s broken with his careless words. He hopes that Ritsu’s cooled off enough to let him.

He walks to the door in silence, footsteps light, treading on his toes before his heels so his steps don’t echo. It’s a habit he’s picked up from years of sneaking around enemy bases and sabotaging them from the inside. He pauses just outside, listening, but there’s no noise on the other side of the door. He reaches out tentatively, gives the door a little knock with the back of his hand. If Ritsu doesn’t want him there, he won’t answer, and Shou will leave as though he’d never knocked at all.

Luckily for him, Ritsu isn’t so angry that he’s forcing Shou away. “What do you want?” comes his muffled voice, his words ice-cold. It’s an invitation. A harsh one, sure, but it’s better than being outright ignored.

“Can I come in?” Shou asks.

“You can do what you want,” Ritsu replies dismissively. His words are biting, lined with sharp thorns, but Shou can read the quiet consent within them.

Shou lets out a breath he hasn’t realized he’s been holding, cracking the door open and stepping inside. Ritsu’s laying on the dingy bed on his side, facing the wall, and he refuses to look up as Shou enters. Shou can see the angry pout on his lip from across the room, and he might have found it cute if he hadn’t been its target.

He hesitates in the doorway, then moves to the far wall and grabs the folding chair set up in the corner, dragging it over by the bed. He leaves a respectable distance between them as he sits down, clasping his hands in front of him. “I’m sorry,” he says, never one to beat around the bush. “You will see your brother again, I just don’t know if it’s safe yet.”

“You never do,” Ritsu sighs in reply, and it’ll be a lie if Shou says it doesn’t sting. Ritsu shifts onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. His shaggy black bangs flop to the side, showing his forehead. “I know you’re just trying to protect me, but I’m getting restless. My brother’s out there, somewhere, wondering where I am, and I can’t even get a message to him to let him know that I’m even alive. I’m frustrated, and frankly, I’m running out of patience. We’ve been at this for months, and that’s just in the time I’ve been here. You’ve been fighting for over three years, but it feels like nothing’s changed.”

Ritsu’s expressing his feelings, a rare occurrence, but Shou can’t bring himself to appreciate the effort. His heart drops, a ball of worry and anxiety forming deep in his stomach. “Things have changed, though. The number of Claw bases is going down all the time. My father is on his last nerve, I can feel it-”

“How much longer is this going to take, Shou?” Ritsu demands, sitting up and meeting Shou’s gaze for the first time. “Another month? Six months? A year? I don’t… I don’t know if I can go that long without contacting Shigeo, at least.” He crosses his legs on the bed, gaze turning to stare down at his lap, angry, persistent.

Shou’s mouth goes dry, and he feels a rare stab of guilt in his chest. “I don’t know,” he admits, voice soft, and he lets it reflect his feelings of vulnerability and insecurity, if only for a moment. “I feel like it won’t be much longer, but I can’t tell you for sure. I don’t know how much more it’ll take.” He rests his elbows on his knees and lets his face fall into his hands. He swallows, his words heavy on his tongue. “If you’re having second thoughts, it’s okay. I’m not gonna make you stick around, after all. You can go back home whenever you want. I just don’t want you to get hurt,” he admits after a moment of contemplation.

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he feels a wave of dread come over him. He doesn’t want Ritsu to leave. He wants him to stay his partner, wants them to trust each other. He wants Ritsu to be there when he finally shoves it in his dad’s face that he was wrong all along about world domination, but he can’t make him go along with it if he doesn’t want to.

Ritsu turns to him with wide eyes, momentarily shocked into silence, then his expression softens some and he says, “I’m not gonna leave, Shou.”

Shou looks up, catching Ritsu’s gray-eyed gaze for a moment before his friend looks away again. Ritsu fiddles with the edge of his sleeve, agitated. “I just… really miss my brother. I don’t want him to worry about me the way I worry about him.” He runs his fingers over the scars on one hand, marks and lines that Shou knows intimately, because he’d tended them when they were fresh. Ritsu runs his fingers over them, and says, “You’re my best friend, Shou, my partner, and I’m not going to abandon you. My brother is going to need me, but you need me, too. I’ll just have to come up with a safe way to contact him without alerting Claw, that’s all.”

Shou can’t help but let out a laugh, breathy and relieved, and the tension he’s been feeling melts away a little. “Yeah, alright. If anyone can figure it out, you can,” he says. It comes across a bit fonder than he intends, but there’s nothing he can do about it once it’s left his mouth. “Thanks for sticking by me, Ritsu. I know I’m not a very good friend, and I kinda suck at relationships in general, but it really means a lot that you have my back,” he adds, genuinely happy that Ritsu won’t be going away after all.

Shou catches the beginning of a blush on Ritsu’s cheeks as he glances away, hiding his face from Shou in a familiar way. “Don’t thank me yet,” he reminds him with a little smile. Shou knows he’s been forgiven.

Ritsu opens his mouth to say something else, but before he can, there’s a knock on the door. “Come in,” he says instead, turning toward the door.

Higashio opens the door, stepping into the threshold. “We’ve located a Claw base about thirty miles outside Seasoning City,” he says, all business. “We’ve confirmed its location after following an unmarked vehicle there. We’re ready to strike at any time, leader.”

Shou and Ritsu exchange a knowing look. There’s really no debating it. Shou turns back to Higashio and grins, feeling a familiar anticipation building up in him. He stands up, and Ritsu follows at his side.

“Let’s not waste time, then.”

[kpop-probably]

One and Only

iKon 8th member AU

AN: It was a little difficult to write about the smtm rounds but I think it worked out!! I hope you guys liked this i enjoyed writing it! Its pretty long and probably sucks but here it is!! (plus a little Jae and Asuka content!)

Warnings: Language,and kissing

Asuka Pov

July 2016

One and I have made it past round 6 of SMTM, he lost his diss battle to Xitsuh, while i won my battle against #Gun. I'm pacing back and forth in one of the private rooms with a beat playing working on my verse for the next round. Joon-Kyung oppa (Dok2) paired me with someone on our team. I'm nervous because this can go one of two ways. We win and both stay, or we lose and one of us goes home. At first I was hesitant about coming on the show, but now that i'm here I know that I have something to prove. Everyone has brought up the fact that Bobby, Hanbin and Mino were all on here before me, and of course they bring up the fact that i'm with YG. I sit down and try to calm my nerves and write a little, but then I get a face time call from Jun hoe. “NUNA!!” 

I don't think i'll ever get used to being yelled at endearingly by 7 boys at the same time. “Hi boys whats up?” “Chan wanted us to call you because he misses you, we all do nuna.” 

“Aww you guys i get to come back home early today after we finish shooting this episode!” Since I started filming I rarely get to see them, I come home late when everyone's asleep and I leave early before they wake up to get to get here.“Nuna you did really good on your diss battle i'm proud.” I smile at Bobby “I learned from the best.” “Thank you-” “No I meant Jiyong oppa.” He gives me a glare while all the other boys laugh. “Sooo how is Jae won holding up after last round.” But knowing how Hanbin is really close with Jae, he already knows he just wants to poke fun at me having a crush. “He's got his head up and he's looking forward to this round. Apparently he's got a song he's really proud of.” But speak of the devil and he may appear.

There's a knock on my door and when it opens Jae sticks his head through a little,“Nuna?” I roll my eyes playfully when I hear the boys start oohing and making kissing noises through the phone. “Well see you later nuna! Remember we're gonna be watching! Good luck.” With that Jinhwan hangs up the phone against the protests of the other boys. Putting my phone down I get up and go hug Jae, putting my arms around his neck, “What are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be rehearsing or something?” He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer and presses his forehead against mine. “I had to come see you before I went out there. It's funny seeing you pace around and it reminds me not to be nervous” I playfully glare at him but there's still a smile, I shy away from his gaze and sit down again.

 “Are you still writing for tonight?” “Yea I've listened to the original song a thousand times, listened to myundo’s verse and still, nothing.” I sigh and throw my head onto the table. I hear him sitting down next to me, then feel his hands in my hair slightly pulling a little and I give him a puzzled look. “Hanbin told me you like that, he says it usually puts you to sleep so I thought it might relax you.” He scoots closer to me, I look up at him through my lashes and notice how close his face is to mine. He puts his forehead against mine which I’ve learned that he likes to do a lot. I see how his eyes shift from mine down to my lips and my eyes widen when he starts to lean in closer, he notices my hesitation and stops. “Can I kiss you nuna?” I freeze a little and stare at him. “I-I've never kissed anyone before..” I look down ashamed that I'm in my twenties and still so inexperienced. He puts his finger under my chin and makes me look up at him. “Nuna i'd be honored to be your first kiss, but only if you let me.” I look into his eyes nervous but nod my head yes anyway. His lips touch mine and Damn! They're soft as hell and I don't think I can get enough. He goes to put his hands on the side of my face when someone opens the door. “Asuka? It's your- oh well uh shit.” 

What the hell is Xitsuh doing in here? “I just came to tell you that they need you out there now.” He smirks before walking out of the room and I can't help but think that something bad was gonna happen.

Performance

I'm nervous as hell concerned about being eliminated and disappointing everyone that believes in me. For some reason I was blessed enough to go last in the song, Joon-Kyung (Dok2) oppa said something about “You're going last because you're my favorite, but don't tell Flowsik.” I try to feed off of the crowds energy and try not to look at the producers too much. You would think that because i'm an idol this would be easy but it's anything but. When I start rapping I take notice to the crowds increasing sound and so do the producers, especially Joon Kyung who has the biggest smile on his face.

How could it be, little me had the power to be the best B in the league yea inevitably, but could it be little me you was hecklin me now it's monotony when I regularly, look i catch wreck on recreation so I exceed all your expectations bitches aint got it in em, I kill em and then I skin em the contract was signed but I am the addendum, half a million dollars just to upgrade the car show I aint even detonate the bombs in the arsenal, so before the storm comes to calm, hope you can take the heat like Lebron   (Nicki minaj- Blazin)

I think that's the fastest i've ever rapped and the crowd absolutely ate it up. But now it's time to decide which of us was going home, despite the crowds reaction i'm still nervous because it's only up to the producers. MyunDo gets 2 fails from the producers so that means I have to get at least 3 passes from them. Illionaire gave me a pass before it was even over, then AOMG, Mad clown and Gill look like they're conflicted but give me a pass. I bend over in relief but I get up to hug my team member and wish him well. 

Flowsik comes up to me backstage and gives me a hug and spins me around. “Let me put you down I don't wanna get beat up, I hear you're someones girl now.” I smile at him knowing that Xitsuh probably told him what happened earlier, But my smile doesn't last long seeing Bewhy walk up to us “Congrats kid you surprisingly survived another day, but looks like your boy didn't.” Bewhy has had this vendetta out against me ever since I rejected his advances a month ago and it made him even more upset when he found out it was because I like Jae. I roll my eyes at his childish acts and walk away to try and find Jae Won. I knock on his team door when his team open it and see me they all smirk and walk out to give me some time with him. 

“Hey nuna” He seems oddly cheerful for someone who was just sent home. He sees the slightly confused look on my face “Nuna this isn't the first time i've been sent home and it's not gonna stop me. I'm proud that I made it this far. But this means you really have to win now.” I roll my eyes “There's no way in hell that i'm winning.” “I've seen your raps that you've written so far and they're pretty great I think you're gonna kick ass.” My eyes widen and my mouth drops realizing what he had just said “When did you look in my book?!” He smiles really big as if he's proud of himself. “That night you fell asleep in my lap, I may or may not have taken a quick peek. By the way do you know you snore a little?” I cover my face embarrassed that he had the audacity to bring it up. “Come on it's cute. Queen Asuka.” He says it in a sing song voice. Sometimes in my verses I refer to myself as that but only in moments where I'm feeling especially confident. “Stop it. I came in here to cheer you up and you're just picking on me.” I whine. “You know what would cheer me up?” He says as he comes closer to me. When he's right in front of my face the atmosphere suddenly tense, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. “What would that be? I'm here to do whatever it takes.” What the hell! Am I flirting? Is this how you flirt? I'm sure Hanbin would be better at it than me, but then again were both kind of lost causes. He presses his forehead against mine again. “Well in that case. I would like a kiss from the queen to heal my sad, sad heart.” Cheeky bastard. “Then your wish shall be granted.”

Hm, Queen Asuka, does have a nice ring to it.

[salvaation]

Can I suggest a scenario for when Titan Sans inevitably realizes Frisk is sapient? Say they're out in the wild and he's made the umpteenth comment about them being no more than a smart bug, humans can't possibly have souls, and Frisk reaches their breaking point and shouts "HOW WOULD /YOU/ KNOW?" and starts ranting at him, sick and tired of being afraid, calls him a hypocrite. Something in this reaction forces him to an "oh shit" moment and he teleport away to get a grip on himself. (1/2)

(2/2) As he teleports he leaves Frisk behind in his panic. Frisk took the shock on his face as anger and assumes he left them on purpose, and now they're out in the open and at risk of being found by other monsters. (that's all I have for now, whether or not the other monsters find Frisk is up to you)

Frisk hated her life.

She had a nice home, plenty of food, clean water, a warm bed. She had people that cared about her. But she was still stressed and terrified every single minute of every day.

Toriel was kind and sweet, she cared for Frisk happily, making sure the girl was clean and fed, doing her best to make the human feel welcome. Papyrus was cheerful and friendly, always willing to talk with her and solve puzzles, or tell stories when she was feeling down. He carried her around on his shoulder, snuggled up in the scarf he always wore, and tried his best to keep his brother from bothering her, even if he wasn’t successful all the time.

The girl shuddered as her thoughts turned to the third monster of the household.

Sans was… difficult. He didn’t seem to care about her aside from keeping her alive, and had all but said that he didn’t give a shit about how she felt. He was cold and uncaring, treated her like nothing more than a toy for his satisfaction. She hated how weak and helpless he made her, unable to do anything to stop him from doing whatever he wanted to her. He never even called her by name; in fact, she doubted he even knew it.

When Toriel asked if Frisk would be alright going out with Sans - just for a brief outing, the motherly woman assured -, the girl froze. She was trembling, eyes wide and staring blankly upon hearing the words.

“Frisk, if you do not want to I will not make you, of course.” Toriel reassured, cradling the girl in her soft hands. “I will request that he not upset you, and if he does simply tell me, alright? You will not have to do this again if so, I simply… I am hoping he will make an attempt to get to know you.”

“I…” Frisk trailed off, thinking over the option for a few minutes. “If- if it’ll get him to- to stop, I’ll do it.”

Toriel smiled down at her, gently placing the girl on her shoulder.

“That is what I hope for, my child.”

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

Frisk clung to Toriel’s ear, trembling in anxious fear as she listened to the conversation. She was trying to hide from the skeleton, shrinking away whenever he glanced towards her.

“Sans, are you listening to what I am saying?”

“yeah, tori. take the squirt an’ go scout around.” He replied nonchalantly, waving a hand lazily in the air. “no prob, i can handle that.”

Toriel stared firmly at him, trapping his gaze with her own.

“If I hear you have done anything to upset Frisk, I will not be pleased.”

Frisk could see how the woman had been a strong queen years ago - that one sentence carried the weight of a royal decree, and even though the girl wasn’t being addressed she still felt compelled to obey.

“alright, alright, fine. no messin’ with th’pipsqueak, got it.” He groaned, dropping his skull back against the arm of the couch. “i ain’t gonna do nothin’, don’t worry.”

“You had better not, Sans. I will be disappointed with you if so.” Toriel said, raising a hand to her shoulder. Frisk hesitated for a moment, cautiously glancing between her open palm and the skeleton staring at her, before stepping down.

She tried to refrain from shuddering as she stepped onto Sans’s hand, the bone cool and smooth beneath her feet. His fingers curled up over her head, like the bars of a ghoulish cage, and then she was stuck with him. He paused for a moment, before lifting her to his shoulder, ignoring the little gasp she made when he moved.

“there, that good? not gonna bother the squirt or anything.” The skeleton grumbled, shoving his hands deep in the pockets of his hoodie. Toriel sighed, once more giving Frisk a gentle smile before he disappeared.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

Sans walked in silence for several minutes, grumbling to himself as he ignored the little human perched on his shoulder. She was quiet in return, fidgeting uncomfortably.

“hey tiny. you cold?”

His voice startled Frisk out of her thoughts, getting a wide-eyed stare in response. It took a moment to process what he’d said, confusion clear in her expression.

“i asked if you were cold. s’windy, and yer shakin’ like a whimsun.” He repeated, sounding exasperated with her lack of comprehension.

“Oh, n-no, I’m okay.” She replied, wrapping her arms around herself.

Frisk was rather cold, in fact, but she was unwilling to accept any ‘help’ he might offer - it always came with strings attached. She’d rather tough out the chilly air than deal with whatever he had in store.

“alright, pipsqueak.”

She flinched at the nickname, tears springing unbidden to her eyes.

Why does it bother me so much? It’s just a stupid name, nothing to cry over. The girl scolded herself, drying her eyes roughly with her sleeve.

A flash of color caught her eye, drawing her attention. It looked like an old blanket caught in some bushes - probably from a scouting mission years ago, but it would be nice to have.

“Hey, um. Can you please let me down for a second?” She asked timidly, her hands shaking even when she clasped them together to hide it.

“what for? ya gonna run off like an idiot? won’t get far, there’s tons’a monsters around here, squirt.”

Frisk clenched her jaw for a moment, trying not to lash out at his dismissive comment.

“I asked to be put down, please. I shouldn’t have to explain my reasons for everything, I can make my own decisions you know.” She replied in an even tone.

He looked at her for a moment before bursting out into laughter.

“oh stars, that’s hilarious - ‘i can make my own decisions’, no ya can’t tiny, yer nothing more than a bug.”

She’d been treated like this by him for months, dismissing her opinions and comments with a wave of his hand, ignoring anything she said to make decisions for her. He’d completely refused to listen to her polite requests, but this was the last straw.

Furious tears stung her eyes as she turned, feeling her magic spark in her chest.

“And how would you know?!” She shouted, bristling in anger. “You never bother to actually talk to me, you won’t even use my name - did you even know I had one? Doesn’t seem like it, you always call me those stupid little nicknames and I hate it!”

“hey, settle down-”

“No, don’t tell me to settle down! I am a person just like you, and Papyrus, and Toriel, and I demand to be treated like one!” She was on the ground. Frisk didn’t know when that happened, but she didn’t care. Her fear and anxiety had finally reached a boiling point, and it had boiled over into pure, unfettered rage.

“You don’t care about anyone but yourself, you greedy coward! I am not a toy for you to do whatever you want with, and I’m done being treated like one! If you’re going to bully someone around, then go find someone else, because I’m through!! You’re such a fucking hypocrite, justifying the way you treat me by what humans have done - do you want me to do the same?? I’m a fucking orphan, my parents were killed when the Barrier fell, but you don’t see me walking around blaming you for my own losses - my family, my friends, my brother. How would you feel if you lost everyone who cared about you in one single moment? I’ve been dealing with it for six years!”

She was crying now, vision blurred and distorted by the endless river of tears that streamed down her face.

“I just- I just want to be seen as a person, is that too much for you?” The girl sobbed, her anger dissipating as she abruptly fell to her knees.

Sans was absolutely silent, simply staring down at her. Immediately she regretted saying anything - he’d said flat out that he’d have no problems killing her, and she just screamed at him and insulted him.

“I- I’m sor-rry,” she whispered, shrinking into herself in fear. She heard him move, letting out a sigh, and she closed her eyes tightly, tense and fearful of what he was going to do.

But then he just vanished. She sat on the ground in shock for a few seconds, staring at the empty space where the skeleton had once stood, but she was completely alone.

“No! I’m sorry I didn’t mean it please don’t leave me here, I’m sorry I’ll be good I-I’ll listen and I won’t tell Toriel anything, just please don’t leave me here alone!”

No one was around to hear her pleas.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

He leaned heavily against the wall, running shaking hands over his skull as his mind replayed the words that had been screamed at him.

Hypocrite

Coward

Bully

“oh stars, i didn’t- i didn’t realize, or maybe i didn’t want to- i fucked up, didn’t i.” He whispers to himself, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, resting his elbows on his knees.

You were selfish, and didn’t want to consider anyone else’s problems, you wanted to be able to take your anger out on anyone you wanted. What’s a few tears from a human, they’re just animals. So what if it cries, and begs, mice do the same when the cat comes.

He felt sick as all the guilt he’d managed to avoid came crashing down in an instant.

“No, please, I don’t want to die I’m sorry! I just wanted to help people I never wanted to hurt anyone please I can’t die like this.”

“I won’t let you hurt them - they’re intelligent, they were showing concern for each other. It’s like nothing anyone’s ever heard of, don’t kill them!”

Stars, she’d risked her own life to protect them, and what did he do in return? Laugh at her fear and distress, ignore her pleas for mercy. He really was a hypocritical, cowardly bully.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

Frisk managed to free the blanket from the bushes, getting a few scrapes in the process. At least she wouldn’t freeze - but a blanket wouldn’t be much help if a monster found her.

Or a hungry predator.

Goosebumps rose on her neck as she turned, looking between trees into a gathering darkness. If she spent the night out in the open, she doubted she’d survive. Probably what he was hoping for, leaving her out in the wilderness all alone with no way to get back.

“Stupid idiot, why did I do that??” She berated herself, kicking a rock in irritation - shit, that hurt.

The girl started walking, looking for someplace where she could hide away for the night, but wasn’t having much luck. It was getting dark far faster than she’d expected, and as night set on so too did a bone-chilling cold.

The wind whistled eerily through the trees, sending shivers down her spine that had nothing to do with the rapidly dropping temperature. Finally she found somewhere to rest - an ancient tree with a hollow beneath its roots, far from comfortable but it was better than nothing.

The little human curled up in the hole, shivering even as she pulled the blanket tighter around her. Sleep would be difficult to find that night.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

Sans sat in the dark of his room for hours, it seemed, before a knock sounded at the door.

“Brother, are you in there? Toriel is wondering where you and the human are, she is getting worried.”

Papyrus.

He couldn’t let Toriel know what he’d done. Leaving the human by herself in the wilderness hadn’t been what he’d wanted, but her explosive outburst overwhelmed and shocked him, and he acted without thinking.

“I just want to be treated like a person, is that too much to ask?” Her face was stained with tears, months of repressed fear and anguish coming to the surface as she sobbed on the ground. He didn’t know what to do, what to say - was there even anything he could say that would make this better?

As he watched, nightmarish beasts crept out of the shadows, drawing nearer and nearer to the girl. He tried to say something, tried to pull her out of danger, but he could do nothing but watch as they pounced, teeth and claws tearing her to shreds while she still pleaded.

“Why? Why? Why would you be so cruel? Why would you hurt me? Why did you leave me out here to die?”

The shadowy creatures began to melt into each other, coalescing into a huge form that slowly stood upright.

He was staring at a horrifying vision of himself, teeth and hands stained red with blood. The nightmarish creature smiled cruelly as him, before lifting a finger to its mouth in a shushing gesture.

He couldn’t look away, staring in horror as it opened one hand, revealing a broken body that shook with silent sobs. He stared transfixed as the nightmarish vision lifted her towards its face, bloody fangs parting to reveal an endless black void.

And then his position switched. He could taste hot metal - it made him sick, he wanted to vomit but he couldn’t. A terrified girl stared back at him, cornered between him and a wall.

“Please don’t hurt me, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I did wrong!” She cried, pressing herself back against the wall as if to disappear.

He couldn’t control his own actions, could only watch as he reached out, ignoring her shrill cries, ignoring the sobs of pain as he closed a fist around her and squeezed. She choked, tears dripping from her chin as he felt bones give under pressure. Even then, he couldn’t stop, could only stare in horror as her fragile body was crushed by his hands.

He jerked back with a strangled cry, hands covering his mouth in horror. It took a while to remember where he was, tears muddling his vision as he tried to breathe.

it was just a dream

Relief flooded through him, even as he sat on the floor trembling. It was horrifying, what his mind had conjured up, but he knew that it could have been so much worse - it was, he wasn’t the one trapped and helpless, unable to do anything but beg.

“stars, i never meant to hurt her- but i didn’t care what she said, if i liked it i assumed she must too.”

Then he remembered what had happened before. He’d left her out there, alone, with no way to find her way back. She could be hurt by now, or worse- the thought was cut off abruptly as he shook his head. No, he wasn’t going to go down that road.

Again, he vanished from the room, reappearing where he had been hours before. But there was no sign of the girl.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

Frisk awoke in discomfort. Nearly every inch of her ached, sore and strained muscles crying out a chorus of pain whenever she moved. The oppressive darkness had begun to lift - it must be near dawn.

She slowly got to her feet, holding back whimpers of pain as more aches made themselves known. But she didn’t have time to worry about that, she had to figure out how to get back.

The human began a slow, stumbling course into the trees, knowing neither which direction she was headed nor what waited for her there.

It was a panther.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

Sans had been searching for over an hour, and still had found no sign of the human. He was getting frantic as the images from his nightmare bubbled up in his mind, sending thoughts of finding a bloody, mangled body to the front of his consciousness.

At one point he thought he’d caught her scent, but it was gone moments later, leaving him unable to track her. It had been so long, he was starting to lose hope that he would find her at all.

“kid! c’mon, where are you? i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to be such a jerk - and i was, you were right, i’m a jerk and a bully, but i’m sorry. please, come back.”

No response came.

He stopped, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring down at the ground. There was still absolutely no sign of the missing girl, and he didn’t know how long she could even last out here. What if someone else ran across her, and took her back as a pet? Or if a bear or something had decided she would be a good meal.

That morbid line of thinking was interrupted by a shrill, pained scream not far away.

The skeleton knew that voice, and plunged towards the source without hesitation.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

Frisk had managed to lose the panther, or at least she hoped she did. There was no way she would be able to run any longer.

She’d bolted blindly into the trees when she heard it scream, not looking where she was going until she had already plunged over a sharp drop. She hit the ground hard, hearing something snap as unimaginable pain shot through her leg. It was painful to even breathe, any movement at all sending more lances of red through her shin. It was definitely broken, and bleeding badly as well.

Tears streamed unheeded down her cheeks, mixing with blood from various scrapes and scratches she’d gotten during her desperate flight. When sweat dripped into the cuts it stung, but that small pain was a welcome distraction from the agony elsewhere. She’d managed to drag herself up against the rock face, tucked into a little alcove that at least gave her some meager protection, but she wasn’t optimistic about surviving another night. She rested her head against the cliff, allowing her eyes to droop as labored breaths filled her lungs.

Footsteps, but they were so big and loud. The ground shook with them, making her yelp in pain. That wasn’t nice, and she vaguely remembered something else not-nice that came with the footsteps.

“shit! hey, kid, can you hear me? c’mon, say somethin’.”

That voice was not-nice too, and she remembered when she finally managed to open her eyes. The skeleton that had tortured her for months loomed over her, casting a long shadow that blocked out all the light. She made a strangled sound, trying to crawl away despite her broken leg, which only made it worse as the fractured bone split her skin.

“No please don’t hurt me I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you mad I’ll be good I promise just please don’t hurt me anymore.” She sobbed, curled up as far away from him as she could get.

“hey, no no no, don’t cry please, i’m not gonna hurt ya, i’m sorry i was such a jerk but i’m not gonna hurt ya, okay?” He assured her, sitting down so as not to present such an intimidating figure.

Stars, he’d really messed up hadn’t he. She was so scared of him that she’d hurt herself trying to get away even with a broken leg. And she was bleeding so much.

“come here, i won’t hurt you. i’m not upset with you, i just want to help okay? is it okay if i touch you?”

Frisk stared up at him, looking for all the world like a hurt, caged animal. Wide, panicked eyes peered up through her wild hair, sticks and leaves caught in the tangled locks. Her face was smudged with dirt and blood, clothes tattered and stained.

And it was his fault. If he hadn’t been so cruel to her, she wouldn’t have been so afraid, wouldn’t have lashed out and made him panic. She wouldn’t have spent a night alone in the woods, and wouldn’t have been so badly injured if he’d just listened.

He sucked a breath in through his teeth, looking at her silently for a few moments before slowly reaching towards her, keeping his hand loose and trying not to seem threatening. The girl still whined, eyes widening impossibly as her gaze fixed on the approaching hand. She cowered back against the rock, trembling in terror but helpless to escape.

“hey, shhh,  i’m not going to hurt you, really. i just want to take a look at your leg, is that alright? i can help, really.” He murmured gently, stopping when she let out a frightened cry. It would take a lot of work, but he wanted to try and fix things between them.

Ever so slowly, he managed to slide his hand under her, doing his best not to disturb her broken leg as he did so, but she still made pained noises whenever he moved her. Once she was off the ground, he lifted her up, fingers curled protectively around her tiny form.

“stars, that looks bad… i dunno if i can fix it, kid, but i’ll do my best.”

Sans moved his free hand to touch the broken limb, but was interrupted by a frightened scream.

“No, don’t touch me! It hurts, don’t hurt me any more.” She cried, recoiling from his approach with fresh tears in her eyes.

“hey, i’m not gonna hurt you, doll. i just wanna get that leg fixed up, alright? m’sorry, i shouldn’t have treated you so bad but i just didn’t know.”

He’d really fucked up, hadn’t he. Frisk was hurt bad, and was too scared of him to let him help - and even if he tried, he doubted any attempt to heal her would have any effect, if she wasn’t willing. Magic was obnoxious that way. He couldn’t shortcut back to the house either, not with her hurt like this - passing through the void in such a bad condition was a bad idea, and Toriel would rip him a new one if he showed up with the kid bloody and broken.

“i won’t touch your leg, alright? is that okay?” It was harder to heal without touching the injury, but in her state there was no way she’d let him - in fact, he was surprised she hadn’t tried to jump off his hand yet.

The girl sniffled, staring wide-eyed in caution as he slowly moved his other hand towards her again. True to his word, he didn’t try to touch her leg, just cupped his hand over the limb. A look of concentration etched onto his face, the intensity making her whine slightly in fear.

It wasn’t completely healed, but at least her tibia wasn’t sticking through the skin anymore. The wound was left as an angry red welt, the skin thin and tender - it wouldn’t stand up to any rough treatment, but she wasn’t bleeding there anymore. And the bone hadn’t been mended all the way - it was still fractured, but it wasn’t a complete split anymore.

“there, see? that’s better, right - doesn’t hurt anymore.” Sans reassured her, cupping his phalanges around her as he stood. “jus’ rest for now, i’ll get ya home safe. no tricks or anythin’, really.”

Frisk didn’t trust him, but she was exhausted. She tried to stay awake, but the adrenaline crash from her terrified flight, the restless night before that, and countless stressful days prior took their toll. She was out like a light.

While he walked, Sans tried to come up with some excuse that the ex-queen would accept for the long absence and the girl’s injuries.

the kid wanted to take a look at somethin’, and we got separated. i looked all night, but by the time i found her she’d been hurt real bad by somethin’.

No, there was nothing he could say that Tori would believe. She was more cunning than her matronly attitude would suggest - she’d have to be, to have ruled monsters for so long. It would be best to tell the truth - albeit a heavily modified version.

He’d gotten in an argument with the kid, and she’d stormed off in a huff. He let her alone for a while to calm down, but when he went to get her he couldn’t find her, and ended up looking all night. He found her all bashed up that morning, and came right back to get her fixed up.

Yeah, that would work. Hopefully.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

Frisk slowly became aware of her surroundings, first noticing a comforting softness that cradled her gently, the surface so comfortable that she would have gladly returned to sleep.

But she wasn’t tired, and after a few minutes of laying still she was bored. A quiet groan escaped her as she shifted slightly, hearing her joints pop as she stretched before sitting up and finally, slowly blinking the sleep out of her eyes.

The girl barely managed to contain a terrified shriek at what she saw. She was on the table in the front room, sitting in the box of fabric that served as her bed - it normally sat on Toriel’s bedside table, but clearly had been moved. Mere feet from where she’d been sleeping was the face of her nightmares. Sans was leaning heavily on the table, arms folded and skull resting on them as he snored.

Silently, she tried to creep further from the cruel skeleton, but when she tried to stand lances of pain shot through her, causing her to collapse with a hurt cry. Terror flooded through her as the sound broke the silence, eyes wide as she stared at the monster before her, breathless.

He shifted slightly, opening his sockets to reveal fuzzy lights floating in the black, which centered on her fallen form after a brief moment.

“hey, you doin’ better now?” He murmured, reaching one hand towards her.

Frisk tried to scream, but her voice cracked painfully, only managing a strained gasping sound as she tried to retreat from his reach.

To her utter bafflement he stopped, fingers curling slightly into a loose fist before withdrawing. The girl stared, trembling as she lay sprawled on the surface of the table.

“i… yeah, that’s- sorry.” The skeleton seemed at a loss for words, shifting his gaze away uncomfortably as he rubbed the back of his skull, now leaning back into his chair. “prob’ly shoulda expected that, really - s’not yer fault, a’course.”

Nothing he was saying made any sense. Actually, nothing about this situation made any sense to her. She’d been asleep here, clearly for a while judging by the crust in the corners of her eyes, and he’d been there too - why hadn’t she woken up in his stomach, like countless other times? And why had he stopped when she cried out - he had the audacity to even look concerned about her.

“Wh-” She started, breaking off with a quiet cough. “Why…?”

He glanced at her briefly when she spoke, but looked away again when she stiffened and gasped slightly.

“i… ya prob’ly got a lotta questions, don’t ya. but lemme say somethin’ first, okay?” He sighs, running a hand down his face before looking back at her, sitting quietly for a brief moment as he tries to find the right words - if there even were any. What do you say to a kid that you’ve emotionally traumatized for months without realizing that’s what you were doing?

“m’sorry, i was a huge dumb jackass t’ya, an’ ya didn’t deserve that. shouldn’t’a treated ya so bad, an’ i understand if ya don’t wanna see me ever again, really, but i just - i fucked up, i fucked up real bad an’ i wanna try to do better now. ya don’t gotta agree, but i just… i wanna second chance ta try an’ start over. i didn’t realize how scared ya were -  or maybe i did but i just didn’t care, i don’t know, an’ i know there ain’t any reason for ya to forgive me, frisk, but i just. i didn’t think about how ya felt, an’ i’m really truly sorry for that. f’ya don’t want me around jus’ say so, an’ i’ll leave ya alone, i promise. i’ll get outta yer hair and stay away, so ya don’t gotta worry or be scared anymore.”

Frisk stared silently at him as he spoke, every word just adding to her complete and utter bewilderment at the situation she'd found herself in. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing - he was seriously going to apologize, try to make everything okay after the months of terror she’d gone through because of him. It wasn’t enough to scare her so much she couldn’t sleep, he had to mock her now too?

“Why should I believe anything you say to me? You’ve never cared before, why would that change now?” The girl didn’t intend to voice her thoughts, tone scathing and furious as she spoke. But by the time she realized, it was too late to take it back. “I-”

“no, yer right.” The skeleton interrupted, raising a hand placatingly. “i was a piece’a shit t’ya, an’ there’s no reason fer ya t’believe anything i’m sayin’. an’ i don’t blame you, frisk, really. i wanna try to be better, cause i realized i was wrong, an’ it made me feel sick - i’m disgusted by what i did t’ya, kid, an’ i’m honestly sorry, but you don’t hafta forgive me.”

“I… I’m gonna need some time.” She replied shortly, hands pressed together tightly in her lap. There were a lot of things she would have to think about, after what he’d said. It was insane to expect a decision right after that bombshell, and she was still having trouble accepting that it was actually happening. “I’m just… I’d like to be alone for a bit.”

“alright.” Without further comment he stood and left, leaving her even more disoriented in the sea of confusion she was floating in.

Frisk probably wouldn’t ever trust him completely - certainly she could never trust him as much as Toriel or Papyrus -, but if he was actually willing to change, she would let him try. No matter what, mercy was always an option.

[waywardsons-imagines]

Flinches

“Hello! I'm a new fan but I just read all of your Sam and Dean stories and I am in love! Could you write a fic where the reader was in an abusive relationship before she met the Winchesters and Sam or Dean find out when they yell at her and she reacts badly? They can be dating or friends, which ever you feel is best! Thank you!”

A/N: From Admin Grace, welcome to the blog! We’re all very glad that you enjoy our collective writings of Sam and Dean! We love writing ‘em.

Characters: Reader, Dean, Sam (No pairing this time, sorry if that's what you would've preferred!)

Warnings: Verbally abusive flashbacks, cursing, fluffish? towards the end

You must be stupid, a voice stronger than your own rang out in your thoughts.

You sat alone and silent in the back of the impala, the Winchesters both were silent, their jaws both clenched.

Every time you looked up to peek at them through your lashes, their eyes were locked on the road, only ever ahead. Your shoulders hunched and you tried your best to even make sure your breath made no sound over the rumble of the impala’s tires on the asphalt.

You stared at your knees, your breath uneasy with emotion that you struggled to rein in, but managed to.

Your uneven breaths sped up as Dean made the familiar turn off to reach the bunker, your eyes bolting between the brothers.

You didn't want to be confronted about this hunt. You didn't think you could handle them if they got angry.

You became increasingly uncomfortable as the impala parked in the garage. You became nearly lightheaded when Sam and Dean exited the car.

You flinched when the doors were closed in tandem. You gasped subtly when Dean begrudgingly held the car door open for you. You flinched once more, when your door was slammed shut.

You wanted to run to your room, but an old instinct held you in place.

He’ll be mad if he has to chase me down. He'll think I'm disrespecting him, just stay. He’ll get even madder and h--

You flinched when Dean spoke, the sound of his voice seemed to happen so suddenly after such a long silence. “Y/N, just go wash up,” he said, and you rushed off to your room without a second glance Not even looking back to recognize confusion in Dean’s gaze.

Sam went to stand beside his brother. “Do you think she's okay?”

Dean glanced at Sam, then back to the hallway Y/N had vanished down. “I dunno…” Dean muttered to himself. He nodded to his brother. “You ever notice she gets super… flinch-y…? sometimes…?”

Sam nodded. “I have noticed that… never during hunts, just--”

“With us,” Dean finished.

Sam and Dean were quiet for a long moment, faces both solemn as they both thought.

“She’ll come clean when she's ready,” Dean dismissed uneasily, grabbing his duffle from the trunk. Sam grunted his reluctant agreement, grabbing his own bag.

The hot water was refreshing, but also unpleasant. The sensations hot water brought were… memories. Unpleasant ones.

“I'm gonna jump in the shower,” became escapes. Escapes he regularly would interrupt. But being in the bathroom, the shower going, was the only place you could go where he'd mind boundaries.

But inevitably, he'd come pounding at the flimsy bathroom door.  

Why the fuck is it taking you so long, huh?

Hurry the fuck up; this is why the bill is always so fucking high.

Come out, now.

Bitch, open up! If you didn't answer fast enough.

You eyes snap open and you gasp tearfully, raising a hand to your mouth to stifle sobs -- you hear it now, someone's poun--no--knocking at the door.

“Y/N, you okay in there?” His voice is rough and low, how it got when he was upset or frustrated... but concern could be heard, of course, if you weren't panicking and unable to hear it... Any concern in his tone fell on your deaf ears and you trembled as you attempted to control your voice.

“Ye-yeah-ha!” You rolled your lips inside your mouth, biting down, wishing you hadn't spoke at all. Your chin was quivering.

Get. A. Grip--

“Y/N?”

“I'll be right out!” You managed, sounding uncharacteristically cheery and upbeat.

Dean was silent for a long minute… you almost thought he left. But he finally grunted a quiet, “Okay”, and left.

You sunk down and sat on the shower floor, curling your knees to your body.

Get a grip. You're okay. They'd never hurt you. They'd never. They care for you.

These thoughts seem like they would help, but they did nothing to stop the tremor in your legs, the unsteadiness of your hands and heartbeat.

You tried to get up in the shower, but couldn't. You had to sit back down and try to regain composure.

Why were you so scared of facing them? Why were you so scared of getting out of the shower?

“Y/N? Get out of the shower, babe.”

“I'll be out in a minute.”

“You said that a minute ago.”

You tried to refrain from rolling your eyes, but it was so much harder to when he couldn't see you. Typically, you'd never roll your eyes... He hated it when you did that, especially to him. You had bruises to prove it...

“Just give me a minute, okay?”

There was a tense silence on the other side of the door. You flinched when he tried turning the locked knob.

“Stop fucking stalling, Y/N.”

“Oh-okay…!”

He left with a swift kick to the wall beside the door.

You began gnawing on your lip as you finished showering. You were scared.

When you finally left the bathroom, you followed the hall to the living room and quietly stared at the back of his head, trying to gauge his mood.

He was just sitting on the couch, watching tv. He turned his head and saw you. He beaconed you over, his face void of hardly any emotion.

Timidly, you walked over to sit next to him on the couch. He put his arm over and around your shoulders, the feeling making you even more tense, if possible.

When he made no other movement, you tentatively relaxed into his side, placing your head against his neck.

“Hi,” he greeted quietly.

Sighing a breath of relief, you passed it off as a content sigh. “Hi,” you responded, wrapping an arm around his abdomen. “What are we watching?”

He was silent.

“Babe?” You inquired, lifting your head slightly to look at him.

His jaw was clenched, and his eyes glued to the tv.

Shit.

“Babe, what's wrong?”

He glared down at you, and you felt instincts trigger - instincts you'd given up since hunting with your dad.

You drew yourself away from him and asked again, “What's wrong?”

He answered immediately now. “Are you fucking cheating on me?”

Your breathing stopped. Shit, not this again… Once he would get started on the “cheating” thing, it wouldn't die down for weeks…

“I would neve--”

“Yeah, you would. Don't try to fucking tell me you wouldn't--fuck you!” He stood from his place on the couch and paced in front of the tv.

“Wha--why would you think I'm cheating on you??” You begged. “I haven't even left the house in wee--”

“Shut the hell up! Okay? Just shut up. You ‘not leaving the house’ doesn't mean you're not or you can't be cheating on me!”

You looked helplessly up at him. “Please, I haven't done anyth--”

Smack!

You yelped, holding your cheek as firmly as you possibly could, the flesh seemingly throbbing in your palm.

“What's with the long showers, huh? Thinking about whoever else? Huh?!”

You started shaking and sobbing quietly (he didn't like when you cried loudly. Then the neighbors could hear).

“Answer me!” He roared.

You flinched.

That's all you could do in your defense.

Flinch.

Just. Get out of the shower.

They're not him.

They're not him.

You stood. You dried yourself off. You clothed yourself.

You walked to the library where both brothers sat waiting.

You pulled together fairly well. You didn't look like you had just been crying in a bathroom.

“Hey there,” Sam greeted softly, yet there was still a twinge of… something in his tone.

“Hey,” you responded quietly as you sat across from them.

“So…” Sam tried to start, only to be interrupted by Dean.

“What the hell were you thinking.” You winced. “What the hell! Were you thinking!” You flinched. 

Sam seemed to notice this more than Dean. “Dean, calm dow--”

“No!” Dean rounded on Sam, as he stood up. “She coulda died out there today, Sammy!”

He rounded on you, his face contorted in a way you were familiar with, but not with Dean… him. Dean’s eyes, to you, suddenly became blank and un-understanding, the color changing to his… when he opened his mouth, you didn't see Dean anymore. “I need to know why!” 

You flinched with a sharp yelp from his harsh outburst, and were reduced to startled sobs before either man could even blink.

That sobered the both of them right the fuck up.

Sam was up within a split second, rebuking Dean as he shoved him aside to get to you within the next second.

The contact scared you, despite knowing better. You flinched and Sam’s hands left you immediately.

Looking down at you made Dean’s heart feel heavy and his stomach clench oddly. He didn't mean for you to… to break down like this.

In fact, thinking on it, it seemed entirely out of character for you. Of course, you were human and had your off days or weeks… but never like this, and certainly never in front of them.

This didn't feel right, and Sam must've felt the same, because within the seconds after his large hands left your shoulders, he looked up to Dean in confusion.

With a long shared glance and a subtle, helpless shrug, Dean conveyed his thoughts. Sam looked helplessly back down at the pitiful woman sobbing in one of their library’s chairs.

“Y/N…” Sam tried, kneeling back down. “Y/N, what's going on?”

You hid your face in your hands further and shook your head.

Dean nudged Sam’s shoulder and motioned him to get out of the way.

Dean crouched before the chair and took your face in his hands. His face was all pinched up as he brushed tears from your cheeks. “I shouldn't of yelled,” he mumbled.

You accepted these words… you knew they were his form of apology.

You nodded and gently nudged his hands away from you. Dean stood up and back with Sam a good few feet away.

Sam, however, didn't look away from you. You made quick and accidental eye contact, then looked towards the ground again.

“You usually don't crack like this, Y/N,” Sam said. “Are you doing alright?”

You couldn't bring yourself to lie again. You weren't alright. You shook your head hesitantly, but it felt liberating to answer that question truthfully.

No fake “I'm fine”s, and brushing it off with a heavy heart. Shaking your head no felt so breathtakingly amazing, that you teared up again, in relief.

The brothers stayed still, staring down at you as you shakily wiped tears from your face.

“I don't like being yelled at,” you tried to hedge.

“I'm sure I've yelled at you before, kid,” Dean offered lamely, his smile uncomfortable and awkward.

You opened your mouth to answer, only to close it again, laughing mirthlessly.

“You usually don't crack like this, Y/N,” Sam repeated, moving a seat for himself to sit upon in front of you. He leaned his elbows on his knees and gently took one of your unsteady hands in his.

“We're here for you,” he said, boring those understanding, hazel puppy-dog eyes into your own. His brows were drawn up in that way that got people to open up about their deceased family members and their “unbelievable monster stories”.

You spotted his move, but you didn't have the energy to try to avoid this anymore.

“I killed a man last year,” you muttered, tearing up as Sam’s eyes continued to bore into your own.

“Yeah, we remember,” Dean said gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning on the side of the table. “Whole reason we took you in.”

“I killed a man.”

Dean’s eyes fluttered briefly to the ceiling as he pursed his lips in his sarcastic way. “We assumed as much…”

You stared up at Dean helplessly. “He wasn't affected by anything… supernatural… at all…”

That changed it. Dean glanced down to Sam in disbelief, and vice versa.

“What do you mean?” Sam tried now, as he turned back to you.

“I-it was an accident…” you stammered, subtly trying to tug your hand from Sam’s. He held on.

“I--...It--...” you started feeling claustrophobic and smothered just from his hand. Your breathing became laboured as you pushed the seat you were sitting in away from him by kicking your heels into the cement floor of the library, wrenching your wrist from Sam simultaneously. “Let--!”

Sam’s arm twists slightly, so he let go, his face conveying to you confusion and even hurt.

“Don't tOUCH me!” You barked, your expression dangerous. It felt late, though. Belated. A delayed reaction.

Sam held his hands out in a placating gesture, apologizing immediately.

Sam and Dean shared a quick, heavy glance as you looked down to your lap in distress.

What the hell was wrong with you?

“Y/N… what happened?”

He wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. We were together for three years. He just would hit me if I was speaking over him sometimes.

It wasn't too much of an issue. My dad did it; my mom, too.

He was a jealous guy. In all sense of the word.

Anyone who harassed or spoke to me - he'd be all over them… either verbally or physically; depending on how drunk he was, I guess.

I didn't have it that bad.

Bruises, scrapes, hickies - anything, really, faded with time.

But that night - that night was especially bad.

He'd have phases where he was certain I was cheating on him. It was always ridiculous… I never left the house, I hardly talked to neighbors, and he never liked me having a phone, so I just canceled any service I had at the time… I forgot.

But… but that night was the worst he got, I think. I didn't even see him grab the knife…

The literal second I realized he'd grabbed it… it was only because I had managed to turn it on him… I only realized because everything blurred… and the next second it was jutting out of his chest.

His eyes were wide open. His mouth was wide open. He staggered back. He hit the kitchen island, I think. He looked from me, to the knife. He looked up again, but that time he looked angry.

… then he keeled over and was fucking dead, and I left. Everything.

“Then I came to you two.”

You refused to look up.

They'd say how he was justified in his anger… They'd say how you probably deserved what he did… They'd say--

“Well, you saved us the trouble of tracking this fucking scum-fuck to kill him ourselves,” Dean said, his voice low and dangerous.

You looked up in shock.

Sam was standing now, half facing away from you, his jaw tight and his shoulders tense as his arms were crossed over his chest, his hand resting against his mouth. Dean was in his same spot he had been, but his arms seemed tucked tighter against his chest, his jaw working like he was chewing cud.

Sam uttered something into his hand, making it unclear to both you and Dean.

Dean asked him to speak up.

“That's why the flinches,” Sam murmured after lowering his hand.

Your brows furrowed and you could feel your shoulders hunch, making you feel smaller.

“You flinch around both me and Dean,” Sam added. He turned slightly to gaze at his brother over his shoulder. “Now we know why, Dean.” Dean remained still and silent besides nodding twice.

The brothers were both still and silent, now, making you even more uncomfortable and helpless. You wanted to leave. You needed to leave.

You stood quickly, but Sam’s hand swung quickly so that it was extended, motioning for you to stop.

You flinched as the appendage swung towards you. Sam froze and snatched back his hand just as quickly as he had extended it.

“I'm so sorry…” he murmured, his voice softer than you'd ever heard it. “Look… Y/N… you shoulda told us… there are so many things that we've picked up on you… minding. All of that could have been avoided…”

You just shook your head. You were about to speak, but Dean gently intervened. “We’re not saying the flinches are bad, Y/N. We're saying that you need to be one hundred percent vocal with what you can't handle us doing.”

“I don--I'm not asking for you guys to--”

“--Y/N,” Dean gently intervened again. “Just promise us that, okay?” Sam nodded eagerly in agreeance.

You stared at the two of them for a long moment.

You loved them.

You teared up, your chin bunching up as you tried to avoid crying. “I promise.”