#just. let friendships and queer relationships EXIST already

[daybreakerangel]

I am going to discuss about the Hazbin leaks because I can, and I want to think about something that NOTHING to do with the election. This is just me rambling.

Lucifer being a dick to Alastor out of nowhere make me dislike him to bit. Al is just minding his business and Lucifer insecure ass calls him Bambi and shit. I do not even like Al that much and I understand why he said fuck it and quit. I would too.

That song with Rosie and Al has racist lyrics in it with Rosie telling Al to act like a dog and that he is a part of her zoo. I know all the overlords are slave owners but having lines like that referring to a mixed Black character is a CHOICE.

I am TRIED of the bad dads/daddy issues in the Helluva. Every single father minus Millie’s dad are horrible or neglectful people. Lute saying Adam never liked Abel makes me mad. Are you telling me the FATHER of humanity did not give a fuck about his own son? Bullshit. I am fine with Adam being a shitty person to everyone around him but his saving graced should have been his family. He is the first father, I guess his is the root of all daddy issues too. 🙄

Anyway, I am glad Abel is plus size like his father. Adam is the carrier of the fat gene. Lmao. I wonder if people will debate if Abel is or is not fat too! /s

People are thinking that Abel is probably gay given his Santa Claus line in Emily’s Heaven song and Adam’s dislikes of his own son is because he is a homophobe. The idea of this being canon is probably likely. Given his line about finding Charlie and Vaggie’s relationship “hot”, I guess he is the type of homophobe that fetishizes WLW relationships but hates MLM ones.

This is just me thing, but I dislike when homophobia is in Queer media. I just want more queer joy stories than queer people facing bigotry stories. I just Adam maybe was more of a politically Incorrect villain than a politically correct villain.

Adam being a misogynist in Heaven was already weird, but it tracks since Lute was not allowed to be the new leader, misogyny is a part of Heaven’s core values, I guess. Him being a homophobe would be awful; homophobia exists in Hell (for example: Kate Killjoy) but in Heaven too? Queer people cannot escape homophobia even in paradise?

I liked to think Adam came up with exterminations to just let out the anger he felted because of Lucifer basically fucking up his line and to protect the family he still had from Hell’s uprising. Abel not expressing any real emotion when learning that his father was murdered and just saying “RIP” is just sad. If Abel knows his father dislike him, why he is taking up his father's role as the leader?

Adam being a shitty person is fine, but he never cared about his own son. Was he always piece of shit since Eden? BOO!! Bad character writing! Adam becoming morality fucked up makes more sense than "He was trash since the start of his creation!" Are you telling me that Heaven knows Adam is shitty and never corrected that behavior to the point he became a manchild? No wonder no one gave a damn by his death, he was rotten from the start.

Eve is still IMA and same goes for Cain and the rest of his children. I swear when Eve finally makes her appearance and she says that Adam was an abuser, I will start to dislike him.

I am glad that Adam is dead. I really hope that he never comes back, I just feel like his character will go downhill even more. I like the idea of him becoming a sinner as a punishment for all the bullshit he done and that he would never allow to enter Heaven. I wanted Adam to SUFFER. I hope sinner Adam stays in fanon.

Lute's song has a cool instrument, but I wish she had more character out of Adam. I do not really care about her being heartbroken by his death because we did not see their friendship that much, so it does not have that much emotional weight to it.

Adam's rizz levels were off the charts to have Lute loses her mind over HIM out of all people. I like Adam but nah he is not boyfriend material at all. It is nice to a character having a crush on a plus size character, Lute wanted that fat man BADLY. It would have been nice if imagine Adam was maskless. It gives me that vibes that Lute only like him when he had the mask on instead of his actual face.

My relationship with this show is complicated. There is stuff in it I like and stuff I just dislike. The writing of the show being all over the place is fascinating but also awful. If the fandom was not so creative and writes these characters with so much care, I would not be here. I am more a fan of the fanon content than the actual show sometimes.

I feel like when Hazbin ends, it is going to remember in such a negative light and a prime example on how to not write a story or characters.

I feel like I will not be a fan before season 3 airs, I hope that does not happen but yeah. If you see a whole bunch of Hazbin shit being listed on the secondhand market after Season 2 is over, that will probably be me.

[void-tiger]

…sometimes I just. Think about. How literal siblings get stuck with rumors they’re dating, and m-f friendships often don’t get a chance to truly start or develop because of the strain those assumptions and pressure causes…

…while literal same-gender and aspec-affirming couples get slapped with “like siblings” this and “just really good friends” that.

And then how this gets even more reductive with infighting like “m-f friendships can only occur when one of them is homosexual,” or aspecs picking at eachother over rep until it’s a very specific type of aroace on the aroace spectrum of the aspec spectrums (and nobody’s actually happy), and of course fanon ships pitted against gen-no-ships…

…and how everyone just ends up feeling stressed out and invalidated. Because anything—and I do mean anything—that doesn’t fit neatly inside of the heteronormative narrative of “men and women can’t be friends, men and women must be romantically involved, people of the same gender and/or aspec/any other queer identity(ies) must never date.”

And how it makes the queers and cichets alike absolutely miserable.

[bengiyo]

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo: We Are So Fucking Back

I am glad that we are all having a normal one in reaction to Hwang Da Seul's latest project (@chicademartinica, @dropthedemiurge, @shortpplfedup, @lurkingshan). I'm still meditating on the whole affair, but for now want to get into how Hwang Da Seul feels so compassionate to closeted men, and how I also am stuck on the removal of the cross (@my-rose-tinted-glasses).

Shan already linked back to The Knowing, and I keep thinking about how rare it is to see two boys who've already come to an understanding of themselves meeting each other, and also including a bully who knows himself. What stands out for me with Hwang Da Seul is how old the pains weighing on her characters feel each time.

Dohee has suffered the abuse of his father, abandonment of his mother, and dissolution of his closest friendship, and he's just pushing through to leave all of this. His pain is obvious and lived in. He doesn't have to sit around moping exclusively about how he feels, because it's ever present. Like anyone else living with chronic pain, you just have to do stuff while hurting a lot of the time.

Juyeong is so fascinating to me because his exuberance and passion makes it almost impossible to hide who he is, and I will always be a sucker for the characters who love so loudly that you can't turn it off. I also keep thinking about how he has been communicating his attraction through his eyes so often, and how he's made desire known through all of his careful flirting.

The building romance between them hits for me most because they're paying attention to each other. Dohee made food that he realized Juyeong would like, is careful about hurting him in their sparring matches, and went for the ice cream that Juyeong said he wanted. Juyeong heard Dohee say he wanted to see snow, and so he made snow for him!

Now, back to that cross. Rose's post and one @benkaben posted have been rattling around in my head for hours. We know that Juyeong's mom is a pastor, and that he's being sent here as essentially conversion therapy (as Shan already pointed out). It's not just that he takes the cross off before confessing, which clearly shows that he's setting everything associated with that aside. It's that he's also confessing through a wall. It's such a small detail in how you can set aside the weight of responsibility and guilt associated with your queerness, but you don't lose the cultural touchstones: for some Christians (I was raised Catholic) you confess your signs through a mild layer of anonymity by putting some sort of wall or separation between you and the priest. There's something so subversive about having Juyeong set down his cross but still confess his feelings like a Christian.

I am also curious where Hyeonho will feature in the rest of this story. It's clear that he and Dohee felt something between each other at some point, and that Hyeonho ran from it. He doesn't want Dohee to get hurt too badly, and he's observing the growing relationship between Dohee and Juyeong. I'm so happy this character exists, because it gives us three characters struggling with the pressures on them to be a certain way. If we had to have a character who will make ugly choices around that, it helps for it not to be part of the main pair, and it also shows that these boys have not been the only queers around that they knew of.

Finally, let me just thank Hwang Da Seul for not being precious about the kissing. I like that their first proper kiss was their second kiss, and I like that it was awkward. I loved them false starting multiple times, trying to make sure they weren't observed too closely (considering their history), and I like that they built back to it. I know that kissing early means we're in for much pain, but it's so nice to have a show not dance around the kissing, or have it be especially mild. I like when two boys like each other and go for it.

I'm so happy that Hwang Da Seul is back. Every time I watch her shows I feel like I'm talking to someone who understands what the inside of the closet looks and feels like. I always feel seen by her in a way that feels gentle. She lets me remember how scary and ugly all of that was without it being a triggering or jarring experience. Peak drama season is upon us, because we're also about to get Love in the Big City in just three days. See you all on the other side.

[madlori]

Ok my fam, I think we all need a lil Come to Jesus moment. So let's talk about it.

"I'm disappointed Tommy wasn't in 8x02 and 8x03." That's ok! We'd all like to see him, and see our boys together. Going by precedent, we can probably expect to see him in 6-8 episodes this season (it could be more - Taylor had 13 episodes in season 5 - but we shouldn't count on it) and we've already burned one. I'd prefer not to have half of them during the opening disaster when SO MUCH ELSE is going on. I'd rather him appear in episodes when he's got a storyline with Buck, or even on his own, and especially at the midseason break or the end of the season when Relationship Events are more likely to happen.

"But the 217 engine!" I know. But as we sometimes like to say to other fans - we kind of baited ourselves with that. It was suggestive, sure. But the fact that production has MADE a 217 engine is also suggestive that we may see it again later, and they just put it in the hangar scene because they already had it and they had to fill up that hangar with as many vehicles as possible.

"An airplane disaster without using the pilot??" As others have pointed out, Tommy's not a jet pilot. And don't let anybody make you think you were nuts for thinking it was possible. It was definitely a reasonable theory, with supporting evidence, that he might be involved, but in the end, the big opening disaster is always going to be about our mains. As it should be. And honestly? It was great.

"But the whole point of bringing him back was to integrate him with the 118 more!" I'm sure that's still a goal they have, but it's probably easier said than done. Not just from a writing standpoint, but a contractual one, in that there's a limit to how often they can use him, so they have to pick and choose where.

"It's like they don't care about this relationship as much as we do." You're right. NOBODY will care about it as much as we do. They care about the main characters, about the show's actual premise (i.e. first responders encountering wild situations, secondarily the characters' personal lives). There is no universe in which ANY relationship in the show will be prioritized as much as we, the fandom, would like it to be. That's just life in the big city. But they do care, oh boy, they do. Enough to use BT scenes in off-season promo. Enough to write Tommy into a scene in the opening episode where, frankly, he didn't NEED to be. Also, consider this - to shoot that scene, Lou was probably on set a grand total of one day, MAYBE two. And they made sure to include him in the jokey "bee pickup lines" reel. You know what other relationship we haven't seen much? Buddie. They have not appeared together outside of work (and honestly, barely AT work either) except in the birthday party scene, and hey, did you notice that they do not interact at ALL in that scene? Buck spends that entire scene interacting only with Tommy. And that's a friendship featuring two mains that we know they value. That's not indicative of anything except the sheer scarcity of screentime.

"They should be promoting the queer relationship!" Should they? They've never really done that before, with the several pre-existing queer relationships. I have always sort of appreciated that they have not hung a neon sign on Buck and Tommy saying LOOK AT OUR NEW QUEER PAIRING. It's never gotten the Very Special Episode treatment - Buck never had gay panic, or much coming-out drama - and I like that. I like treating it no differently than other romantic pairings on the show. And they did actually promote it quite a bit when it happened. Now it would just feel kinda performative to me.

"Will he be in [whatever episode]?" Imma gently suggest we not do this every week. He'll be there or he won't. There'll be some we know he's in (I think 8x06 is a lock), some we won't know and will be pleasantly surprised, or unpleasantly surprised. I'd say odds for 8x04 are...20%, rising to at least 50% with 8x05 and 100% for 8x06.

And if you ever feel sad about it - go look at a still of Buck from any episode so far this season, and say to yourself, "This man is having heaps of amazing sex with his hot pilot boyfriend on the regular. Canonically."

I know a lot of us have encountered some pretty irritating gloating from people who hate this relationship (in a frankly weirdly obsessive way) about him being not there. Just remember - that's all they have to gloat about. The only "victory" they can claim is the absence of a character? Lame. And it's not even a victory, it's just the cost of doing business when your ship involves a recurring character. Sit back and enjoy your canon relationship between two men who've actually kissed on screen and ignore it. We can be generous about it.

So let's not talk ourselves off the deep end, shall we? I'd like to keep being a reasonable fandom.

[hippolotamus]

Who would I be if I didn't come barreling in with queer feelings??? Inspired by this post from my wife @bidisasterevankinard, this morning's therapy session and a few too many listens to Cleopatra by The Lumineers 😘

late for this, late for that | 7x06 coda | 757 words | G

“Not late. Right on time,” Evan sighs, content and sated, turning in his arms so they’re back-to-chest. It allows him to settle into his newly discovered love of being the little spoon. And Tommy’s new found love of indulging Evan.

“Good to know.” He presses a kiss into Evan’s mussed, disheveled curls, chuckling at the light snores his – boyfriend? Date? Guy he’s seeing? – is already making. 

If he’s being honest, ‘right on time’ is the furthest thing from what he feels. Evan hasn’t said as much, but Tommy suspects he’s started to question things about himself. About his life in general, past interactions, romances, friendships, crushes. Eventually he’ll likely face one of the biggest, if not the biggest, questions. How could I not know? 

As someone who went on a similar journey, he’ll do his best to guide Evan through. He wants to wave the proverbial magic wand to produce easy, matter-of-fact answers and soothe any wounds, but Evan will have to do that part on his own. Eventually it becomes a rewarding experience, making those discoveries, but he knows as well as anyone that it can be a bitch of a road to travel. An often dark pathway loaded with unexpected landmines. Full of monsters that go ‘boo’ at the very worst times, usually just when the dust of the last jumpscare has settled. 

Not for the first time – and likely not for the last – the notion makes Tommy wish they could have met earlier. That he could somehow turn back the clock to meet himself earlier so he could be there for Evan. He’s already put himself through the wringer, in therapy and in his own mental torture chamber, about why he lied for so long about who he is. But, as his therapist reminds him over and over again, these things are never truly done. There are often new layers unveiled, triggered by different circumstances. Sometimes big and loud, sometimes ordinary and everyday. Tommy thinks Evan might be a bit of both. 

Either way, here he is, wondering how his own life might have been different if he hadn’t denied himself for so long. If he could have been brave like Hen and said ‘this is who I am’. Because it’s not as if he didn’t know. Tommy knew exactly who he was, who he is. He’s known since the first time he kissed CJ, his high school football team’s defensive tackle, behind the bleachers after practice one late summer night. God knows he had been questioning for a hell of a lot longer. 

However, he can’t time travel and change things. He can’t give past versions of himself options that didn’t exist. Well, technically they did, but it meant blowing up his entire life and being ostracized. While Hen didn’t have anything to lose, because she was already being isolated by that era of the 118, Tommy did. 

He had what he thought were friends, though, really, most of them were alliances. People he accepted as friends for the high cost of burying his identity. Paid for with girlfriends and the occasional male sex worker when he really needed to let go. With living an empty, lonely, fraudulent existence, constantly saying no to the things and experiences he craved. Because saying yes - to ‘just one’ gay club, one pride event, one secret boyfriend willing to be called girlfriend for appearances - meant risking being found out. Meant taking a wrecking ball to the carefully curated macho persona he’d built for protection. Meant having all of his ‘meaningful’ supports and relationships ripped away. It was bad enough that his own parents couldn’t be there for him. He didn’t need the camaraderie of firefighting taken away, too. 

Evan snorts and snuffles, pulling Tommy back to the present. He turns in his sleep, somehow burrowing closer as he throws an arm across Tommy’s waist. His mouth is slack and parted, breathing calm and even. 

A wave of fondness washes over Tommy as he watches his… Evan sleep, blissfully unaware of all the things tumbling around in his brain. It’s an emotion he hasn’t felt in a while, not like this, but he’s grateful for how naturally it seems to want to return. 

Maybe they couldn’t meet earlier or change their histories, save themselves or each other from pain. But they’re here now with their combined battle scars, ready for something, whatever that looks like. And isn’t that better than never? So, perhaps what Evan said was true. Maybe he’s not too late and they’re right on time. 

part 2 (Eddie's POV) here

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Aren't you tired of forced romances with no chemistry that only take away from the actually interesting plot? Don't you just want media where romance isn't portrayed as being superior and more important than (queer)platonic relationships?

Well, my exhausted aro ass is too, so here are a few tricks and wisdoms I've gathered over my years of being a-spec (which is all of them) on how to avoid romance (in media) in a very allonormative society 💚🤍🩶🖤

(this is a rec list btw. no I am not shitting on the shows that I tagged, quite the opposite)

1. Middle Grade

I get if you aren't really into that, because it is kind of annoying to be pointed to literal children's literature when all you want is a story that isn't constantly being interrupted by describing the main guy's heated eyes for the twentieth time.

However.

It is true that in middle grade, friendship is always more important than romance. Because, let's face it. Making two eleven year old characters kiss is kinda weird. So even if there is a romance, it isn't very prominent and treated more like friendship and/or a puppy crush. Plus some stories get surprisingly dark?!?!

Examples

- Howl's Moving Castle (Diana Wynne Jones), technically a romance in the end, but mostly focused on found family, shenanigans, and finding your own value

- House of Many Ways (DWJ). Yes, again. I really like her books okay? They always have something so fantastical and whimsical about them. This is my other favorite book by her and it has literally no romance at all. Plus a hmc cameo that is so fun !!

- Coraline (Neil Gaiman). Maybe this is cheating because I never actually read it. However. a) the movie traumatized me. b) Wybie was added to the movie, he doesn't exist in the book, so if "power of friendship" isn't your thing this will be great. Probably vibes over plot.

Flyte (Angie Sage). Technically this is the second book, but I never read the first one and still understood everything. Once again, no romance at all. A fun read, which can get surprisingly dark at times.

2. Short Story Collections

Once again, I get it if it isn't your thing. Short stories are - as the name reveals - short. Which means: no worldbuilding, very limited narrator, open ending, no time to really get attached to characters, etc.

But.

The cool thing about collections, is that they always have a certain theme. And as long as the theme is not romance, romance will not be the focus. Even if there is a romantic relationship, it will be used to explore this theme since there simply isn't time for anything else.

Examples:

Life Ceremony (Sayaka Murata) This is the book that actually made me figure out: hey! I do actually like short stories !! The main theme is basically about being different and it plays a lot with body horror and the perception of your own body in contrast with how society sees it. There is even a story about two women who platonically live together and raised multiple children!

Canterbury Classics: Classic Tales of Horror (introduction by Ernest Hilbert). As the name suggests, this is a collection of horror short stories, featuring well-known authors such as Bram Stoker, Edgar Allan Poe or Charlotte Perkins Gilman. As these are classic old tales, the language is a bit complicated at times and you can read them for free on Gutenberg. However, the book is very very pretty and the introduction is very interesting (Origins of the genre, specific tropes and monsters, etc.)

3. Podcasts

PODCASTS!!! If you follow me, you are probably already aware of those. However, in case you don't, let me introduce you to the wonderful world of Audiodramas.

The cool thing about Podcasts is that pretty much anyone can do it. All you need is an idea, a mic, a lot of motivation, and you're pretty much set to go. No producers or publishers you need to get approval from. So it is only natural that this medium is filled to the brim with queer creators. Basically every character is somewhat queer. It's awesome.

Examples:

- The Silt Verses. I adore TSV. I listened to the first season like, four times. (the second one is good too but OH MY GOD THE FIRST ONE). And one of the main characters is canonically and explicitly aro!! Sister Carpenter, I love you with my whole being. And the great thing is, it is very clear that the writers love her, too!! There is a lot (like a LOT) of body horror so it isn't for everybody. But if you think you can handle it I really recommend it. (Plus, not any romance plotlines at all !!)

- Wolf 359. This is one of the older ones and it is really good. It's a bunch of restless and very unwell people stuck in a spaceship under the unforgiving rule of capitalism. However bad you imagine it, I can assure you it is worse. But the really cool thing is that there literally isn't any romance at all. Like, there are great m/f friendships but they never even hint towards a romance. Some people are so unused to that that they literally ship the main dude with the fucking robot AI. (don't worry, not an actual romance plot).

- Girl in space. I am sure you will be absolutely shook to know that this one also takes place in space. It is about a girl. In space. Shocking, I know. Except that she has been on her own for well over a year when suddenly a fleet of strange ships arrive and kidnap her. There is also a very asshole-y robot. And questions about what makes us human. And found family!! And a goat. And cheese. Just go listen to it okay. This is also one of the shortest ones of the list, so maybe a good start.

- Malevolent. I have to confess that I personally am not a huge fan of this one? Like the premise is really cool - a detective who wakes up blind and with a demon in his head who can see through the detectives eyes. What the fuck?, you may ask yourself. So does Arthur Lester. Mysteries and other dimensions and a whole lot of pain ensues. Harlan is undeniably an awesome VA and a great writer, but his stories just seem a bit too repetitive to me? Nonetheless I know of lots of people who enjoy it a lot. Trying to define the relationship between Arthur and John (his demon) is perhaps the biggest mystery of them all. (Jk. there are multiple murders and stuff. they've really got other priorities)

- Middle:Below. This is another short one and probably the least famous of this list? It's about this funky lil dude with a ghost roommate and a cat who can talk (.....or can it?). There is a m/f friendship but it never turns into a romance (wow it is possible!!). They all go on adventures on the dimension between life and death. Despite the description, this is literally just a comedy. A bit spooky at best. Reminds me a bit of scarier kids cartoons like gravity falls.

4. "Gay" movies/series in countries with homophobic censorship

Now you may think, "hey that seems like a bit of an asshole move!". And you would be 100% correct in thinking that.

However.

It does also mean that the main relationship of the story can never be explicitly romantic. They can allude to it, they can try to show it. But they can never confirm. So it is very easy to interpret them as having a QPR. (because tbh I don't think I've ever seen one on television.)

Examples:

The Untamed. Look. I am aware that the first episode is so fucking atrocious, all right? And no, the CGI does in fact never get better. And sometimes the translated subtitles are a bit awkward. But I swear that it is so good. Trust me on this one, okay? Just make it through the first ep. It's a wild ride. Lan Zhan I love you. (However the book it is based on (written by a woman) depicts them being in an explicitly romantic relationship, with lots of very inaccurate and badly researched smut, so the fandom pretty much sees them as exclusively romantic.)

- Word of Honor. Very much in the same vein as The Untamed. Except that the first episode is less horrible. And the one dude has a very fruity fan. And they also raise a kid together. And the costumes of the villains are really fun!! I actually never finished this one tbh. I know that the book it is based on has one very extremely terrible ableist plot point, but I don't know if that made it into the show since I never got that far

The Devil Judge. The last two were fantasy, this one is a dystopia. Very tense and interesting. There is a romantic subplot (typical childhood friend vs bad boy love triangle), but he rejects the childhood friend and they can't exactly show him and the "bad boy" (who is actually a judge. and also kinda his sugar daddy) as explicitly romantic for the reason above. They also live in the same house and cook together and take care of a child together. Can totally recommend.

Assassination Classroom. A bunch of students have to kill their teacher who is an alien. that's literally the plot. I cried so hard at the finale. Nagisa and Karma have MASSIVE vibes and you can't convince me otherwise. (There is a romantic subplot that does end in a kiss, but they agree to continue as friends since those were..... extenuating circumstances. The dude very clearly is not into her). Nagisa also very aro-spec coded imo.

5. "Straightbaiting" Anime

Sometimes Anime does this thing (which I personally find very hilarious) where a boy and a girl will have no other romantic involvements or love interests while growing closer and closer, but never get together. A bit like reverse queerbaiting.

Examples:

- Fairy Tail. The ultimate power is friendship anime. That is all you need to know. (I should also perhaps warn you that the end of the last arc (and the sequel series, but we don't talk about that) are huge letdowns. Like the buildup? So good. But....welp. If that doesn't bother you too much and the idea to have a group of people be the main character instead of one person only, this may be the series for you. Just do yourself a favor and skip all the filler arcs

Soul Eater. I really love the vibes of this one. Once again, most of the fandom likes depicting them as explicitly romantic, but they never canonically are. It also reminds me a bit of creepy children cartoons. It is also where the superior fictional school exists, Devon. Frankenstein teaches there (the dude, not the monster). People transform into badass weapons. Nobody can convince me that Make Albarn is not a trans woman. However the ending deviates a bit from the manga, and I personally think the anime one is a bit worse

Noragami. This one will always hold a special place in my heart because it was the first anime I really watched. This one also has people who transform into weapons, but the vibes are very different. It goes a bit more into Japanese folklore in case that interests you.

Bonus: Canonically Aro/Heavily Aro-Coded Characters

They were not anywhere above because the stories they are in didn't really fit any of the categories. But they exist!

Wolf (Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts). I adore Wolf. There is also barely any romance. Like, it will seem like it at first, but don't worry, it's only straightbaiting. There is a romance subplot but it's very brief and very much in the background. Overall very good aro show 👍

Isaac (Heartstopper) Very queer show, very high likelihood that you already know of it. The series per se is very romance focused, but as far as I've heard the a-spec rep in S2 is really good

Georgia (Loveless). Actually never read it. But, well. Title pretty self-explanatory dare I say. By the same author as Heartstopper (Alice Oseman)

Chance/Chris and Shadow/Ryan (woe.begone) Are explicitly in a QPR together !! they are also probably the healthiest couple in the podcast lol

Henry Clerval (Frankenstein). Henry is the "a couple of besties!!" to Victor's "we look like a couple <3"

Barbie (Barbie 2023) If you've seen it you know what I mean.

Jo Marsh (Little Women). I never read the book, but Jo in the 2019 movie??? very sus.

I would also recommend checking out Japanese books! I personally think they are much better at writing romance than the western people lol. It's more about knowing each other and sharing your views of the world, thus changing each other and leaving a mark forever, even if the relationship ends. (studio ghibli romance vibes). My favorite Japanese book doesn't have an English translation :(

aber an alle Deutsch-Sprecher*innen: Die Katzen von Shinjuku (Durian Sukegawa) -> og title: Shinjuku no Neko

Can't think of anything else right now, but please leave some of your own recommendations! Hope this helps ^^

[maxwellssilverbeatles]

if ABO existed in the real world, what flavor of omega would each of the beatles be?

i am here to answer this question that no but me has ever asked! IF YOU DON'T LIKE ABO OR MENTIONS OF IT, DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS POST.

first off, i fully believe that all the beatles would be omegas, maybe george as a token beta, but absolutely no alphas in the band. thinking logistically, this is the 1960s we're talking about, and ABO is basically just a second gender aka a second set of gender norms assigned to people from birth. omega = more feminine traits, alpha = more masculine traits and beta = neutral, we all know this already. but because of this we can assume that omegas experience discrimination in much the same way as women do, a form of sexism based in the fact that omegas are supposed to be subservient to betas and particularly alphas, who are meant to act as protectors of weak, defenseless omegas. in the 1960s, such sexism would be much more normalized in society, and therefore the idea of separation between the different sexes in any context other than courting would be stronger. just as the idea of boy/girl platonic friendship wasn't normalized (even to this day), the idea of casual omega/alpha friendship wouldn't be normalized either. because of that, i believe all four of the beatles would most likely be the same second gender, because of their comfortability and intimacy around one another and the way that most people's closest friends are of the same gender as it's an easily shared and relatable experience.

now, why do i believe they are all specifically omegas? they could just as easily all be alphas or betas? this is where more of my opinion comes in. ABO and the omegaverse was created as a specific way of fetishizing queer male relationships and viewing them through the lenses of staunchly heterosexual, patriarchal relationships. a way to take a homosexual relationship and distill it down to inherently harmful stereotypes of queer people, that there's always a more feminine/masculine presenting person and that whether you decide to top or bottom determines your amount of "gayness" and therefore your masculinity. the creation behind the omegaverse was just a kinky way of being able to view male/male relationships as essentially just a straight relationship in which both partners just so happen to have dicks. alphas are portrayed as big, strong, aggressive protectors with huge cocks to knot their mates with. omegas are seen as overall gentle and demure, who go through periods of heat in which their sexuality is inherently tied to wanting to be fucked and impregnated by their mates aka seen as submissive. betas rarely have any emphasis in omegaverse stories, due to them just being regular people who don't have raging horomones in them telling them to give in to their most basic, sexual, animalistic urges, but they are often portrayed as mediators between the bs of alphas and omegas.

the beatles were never and have never been viewed as pillars of masculinity in the way that other rock stars at the time were viewed. that is just a simple fact, whether it be due to their overwhelmingly large female fan base from the beginning of their careers or the way they dressed and presented themselves. much like their rise to mega-stardom, i believe it was a mix of a lot of different elements of themselves and their brand that let them get this more "soft" label that they eventually tried to break out of. it wasn't just the female fans, as elvis also had a disproportionate number of female fans and he was always seen as a masculine rocker. it was also the matching suits and haircuts, their "silly love songs", their goofy demeanor in interviews and the fact that paul mccartney just has a really pretty face and voice. because of this, i highly doubt the alpha label fits any of them, not because they were particular feminine but because they didn't express their masculinity in a particularly obvious, stereotypical way. one could just say it was the styles of the decade, and i would agree with you, but also not every rock star has people debating on whether or not they were bisexual + having an extremely large community of people fully believing they were fucking/in love their best friend to this day quite like john lennon.

so, they're all omegas imo 🤷 now here's my cringe hcs (,,◕　⋏　◕,,)

paul is a sluttyyyy omega who pretends to be a beta. because of his extremely repressed nature due to his upbringing (*cough* jim mccartney *cough*), he would probably be ashamed about his second gender and try to bottle away his inner feelings on the issue through suppressant abuse (if we're in a universe in which those exist yet) and overall randy-ness (he's a horny boy! he fucks a lot!). his repression leads to a lot of frustration, the regular kind and also the sexual kind, which he expresses primarily through his stubbornness/unwillingness to compromise and his obsession with perfectionism (both represented through his overbearing presence in the studio).

john is a confusing case. he is undoubtably an omega, just like paul, and he also has a great deal of self directed shame as most male omegas do (they're supposed to be masculine as they're boys, but they're also able to get pregnant and go through heats so they're seen as lesser and gay- derogatory). but i also believe he uses his omega status to benefit himself in ways paul does not do (paul hides and represses while john makes self directed digs at himself and his gender and then bats his eyelids to get whatever he wants). he is also more open about his feelings than paul is, talking more freely about his struggles and is more willing to be vulnerable around others. if it weren't for the fact that he was married with a kid, he would've probably received a lot of hate and controversy due to his very un-omegalike and flamboyant personality.

ringo is just a confident omega man who settles down when he's ready to settle down. due to his shorter height, he was never really going to pass as a beta or alpha and he's resigned himself to that. he was also the most disregarded member of the band, which led to him having less of a focus on himself than his other group members, and therefore less pressure to become a family man despite his age. but such inattention leads to insecurity in himself, his looks and his musical abilities which he compensates for by acting as “the funny beatle” and being generally the most easygoing of the 4.

george is the youngest of the group and because of that he was always being overshadowed by an image of innocence and the overwhelming force of johnpaul. he obviously hated this image. he got girlfriends, slept around a lotttt, made sure to be more expressive and loud in interviews, and changed his style and his hair to suit the person he felt he was on the inside but that wouldn't stop the public from viewing him as "the quiet beatle" or the most ideal omega of the 4. it also didn't help that he wanted to experiment more with music and get more of his songs onto the LPs but repressed and stubborn paul mccartney kept treating him like a baby brother.

this is unbelievably long and stupid and probably unreadable as i wrote it in one sitting as a ramble and didn't look over it at all. hope this gets no attention and forces me to realize i need to get a life and a hobby outside of being parasocial about (dead) 80 year olds. holy shit

[visgrapplinghooks]

friendlinghood: a proposal

skip to "terminology" if you don't want the long explanation

QPRs are really difficult to talk about because of the way the modern queer community has kinda framed it as like "dating but without romantic attraction"

when that's not entirely true

I mean, you COULD say that's a kind of QPR but it'd be a mistake to frame all of it that way. this is in large part to internet misinformation and shit as well as amatonormativity from which a lot of relationship discourse is framed against

queerplatonicism, from my pov refers to what is essentially the natural byproduct of queer and neurodivergent people having close friends

the queer community has been aware for a while that its members would have close friendships that in some way violated traditional social norms for behavior outside romantic relationships or family, etc.

when you sit outside the neurotypical and patriarchal norm, the conventional social understanding of what relationships are kinda breaks down for you

you display levels of closeness and intimacy and affection that are "inappropriate" for neurotypical and patriarchal society. in most cases they're not formal relationships, but natural evolutions of friendships between queer and neurodivergent folks

cishet people actually do have variants on this like the concept of "blood brothers" where two men who love each other basically make a pact to always have each other's backs and be their support and they do the whole movie thing where they mix blood to bind them together (it's a very cinematic thing, but the point is it exists in the popular consciousness)

"romance" and "friendship" each refer to a set of social norms and expectations. there's like a whole narrative constructed around those concepts and people internalize and have their own versions of them

a lot of people probably have friends they want to fuck or kiss or cuddle or declare their undying affection for but it'd just be "weird" within the social boundaries of acceptability and so people pigeonhole their relationships into either friend or romantic partner.

queerplatonicism (from my pov) is essentially accepting or practicing relationships which are neither platonic or romantic or even strictly familial. many queer people have them with other queer people they're close to. if you know queer folks then you probably know what I'm talking about - the friends they have that they're not dating but seem intensely attached and close to. they usually have weird names for each other that go beyond friendship like they'll jokingly call each other wives and husbands and siblings and partners... but it doesn't feel quite entirely joking. they'll express a lot of physical affection in the casual way you might typically ascribe to romantic partners. they'll prioritize time with those people as much as any romantic partner they may have etc.

straight and cis people and neurotypical people obviously experience them to some extent, it's just that patriarchy was built around cishet neurotypicals in particular, so it tends to cling to their mindsets more strongly, and once you're already outside of the "bounds of normalcy" by being queer, ND, etc. then it's a lot easier to feel like it's okay for you to be in relationships that aren't "normal".

because like the idea of loving someone with your entire fucking being... it's so tied up in these cultural ideas on how to behave about those feelings and it never made sense to me, because if you just let yourself feel those emotions you start to realize there are people in your life that maybe you love so much more than friends. but "more than friends" is so washed up in romance that you force those feelings down and think "this is fine, I'm happy with being just friends, what else can we be?"

maybe I don't want to have sex or hold hands on a ferris wheel or get. married or kiss or any of that. maybe I just want to exist in the same room as that person know that that person is in my life and know that person cares about me just as much as I do them.

terminology

I've started to use the term "friendling" in my day to day life, now. the term is a portmanteau of "friend" and "sibling" and "loveling" (the english cognate of the German word "lieblings" which can mean "favorite", but is also a term of endearment).

to me, it's probably the most accurate way to describe the Everything All At Once feelings that are simultaneously your weird friends that are your found family and also "romantic" but twisted beyond recognition where the term stops meaning anything.

I'm just throwing this word and explanation out there for anyone who feels like me and wants to use it too. not exclusive to queer people or neurodivergence or anything, I just think it's often easier to be cognisant of those feelings when you are queer and neurodivergent.

that being said, I do NOT want this to be folded into another "attraction label". this is, as far as I can tell, not a unique form of attraction but quite literally the opposite. it's an abstraction of the core impulses of attraction that ALL humans experience without the labels or social structures built around it. I do not want the language that I've spent so long trying to find for my experiences losing all of its value and being reapporpriated into the amatonormative, allonormative, and cisheteropatriarchal framework.

"friendlinghood" - is what I see as an attribute of relationships and the extent to which they deviate from socially conventional definitions of a relationship.

"friendlingship" - used grammatically like friendship. referring to any complex relationship acategorically.

"friendling" - used grammatically similar to friend. referring to those involved in any complex relationship acategorically.

all of this shit is nebulous and doesn't really mean anything beyond what meaning you choose to give it. I think any relationship can have some amount of friendlinghood and I don't think there's a clear line between friendlingship and friendship or romance or family, because it's not a type of relationship in the first place. it's just silly words I made that helped me.

language and labels

so the biggest problem with terminology like this is you can end up creating labels. my point was to create personal terms for myself and my relationships because that's what helped me personally process my own feelings.

that's not to say everyone needs or benefits from them. you can just vibe and do whatever you want and many people are happy with that.

I don't think words like this being codified and standardized really helps anyone. it's unavoidable that we as humans like articulating feelings, but the entire point of my interactions with friendlinghood is about certain things defying labels and language. language in this sense is just a tool, it's a hammer for a nail. it's not embodying the concept itself, it's just useful shorthand.

I will still freely refer to friendlings as close friends, best friends, found family, and other words. as long as I know the intention behind it is all that matters. I just needed that initial bit of language to articulate the feelings before the other words felt right to me.

[crimeronan]

hi this is random and you might be like “why are you asking me this” but I genuinely don’t know where else to look for info/advice. but like. how does one go about finding a queerplatonic partner/relationship. I exist in very queer social circles and most people I know have never heard that term, I’ve never seen it irl, and there’s obviously very little representation in media to go off of. do people like. put it in their tinder profiles? is there a secret qpr dating app? is it just a matter of meeting people and explaining what you want like any other relationship? anything you can share either about how it worked for you or about other resources you know of would be helpful. if it’s too personal and/or you don’t want to answer this for whatever reason feel free to ignore

i wish i had a better answer for you, but i've actually never sought out any of my relationships on purpose -- it's always just been meeting people, becoming close friends, and then deciding we want to make a permanent commitment.

my qpp was my best friend before she was my partner. also, we'd spent like 7 years roleplaying a moirallegiance between homestuck characters. moirails are platonic soulmates in canon, working our relationship around that definition is what worked for us. i used the term moirail long before i used the term qpp and switched to the latter simply because my circle is mostly normies now KFSKDJ

with that said, the one place i CAN point you to is bumble BFF, which is a dating app but for platonic friendships. if your profile is loudly openly queer, you're a lot more likely to match with other queer people who understand qprs. but with pretty much everyone i've met who has a queerplatonic partner, it was less like dating someone and more like already being friends & going "hey, i love you so much. do you want to get married without any of the sex or romance"

if anyone else has experiences wrt this, feel free to rb or reply to let anon know!

[sophieinwonderland]

Speaking of changes in Christian beliefs and interpretations, I've noticed a recent shift where some folks want to focus more on the idea that Jesus was human, and all that idea entails. See, although Christian churches obviously teach about Jesus as an important figure, a lot of them (at least that I've seen and been to) tend to portray him as a divine being who was just born on Earth because he had to complete his mission of saving us from Hell. The recent trend I've seen has been about discussions and slight changes in approach to Scripture, where people talk about Jesus being human, and how that adds to the meaning of his sacrifice of his life for us – he wasn't just with us, he was one of us, and he lived like us and died like us.

I find it silly to be up in arms about a plural interpretation of the Trinity because "it's change!! It's not exactly what we worshipped before!!" when people are already doing that in a different way lol. Good luck preventing *checks notes* people wondering if Jesus had a favorite wood he liked to work with as a carpenter

This also reminds me of something in When God Talks Back by Tanya Luhrmann.

One of the interesting things she discussed was this shift in culture where in a lot of modern evangelical churches, god became more of a close personal friend.

There are references to friendship with God and with Jesus in the Bible, but this friendship is not the free and easy companionship of two boys swinging their feet on a bridge over a stream. The remarkable shift in the understanding of God and of Jesus in the new paradigm churches of modern American Christianity is the shift that the counterculture made: toward a deeply human, even vulnerable God who loves us unconditionally and wants nothing more than to be our friend, our best friend, as loving and personal and responsive as a best friend in America should be; and toward a God who is so supernaturally present, it is as if he does magic and as if our friendship with him gives us magic, too. God retains his holy majesty, but he has become a companion, even a buddy to play with, and the most ordinary man can go to the corner church and learn how to hear him speak. What we have seen in the last four or five decades is the democratization of God—I and thou into you and me—and the democratization of intense spiritual experience, arguably more deeply than ever before in our country’s history.

The chapter tells the story of how a lot of this change was owed to an unconventional union of these conservative churches and hippie preacher Lonnie Frisbee.

Frisbee's teachings essentially single-handedly rewrote how God and Jesus were perceived in these evangelical churches for generations.

... and then he was excommunicated from the denominations he founded for being gay, and they've been trying to erase his history ever since.

Because yeah, right-wing evangelicals suck...

But the point is, doctrine changes. People's understanding of and their relationship with God changes. That's how religion works. And sometimes, it only takes a single person to start making those waves.

...

Also, never let the Vineyard Church or the offshoots they spawned forget that their church owes its entire existence and doctrine to a queer hippie who they turned their backs on for being gay!

[anxious-shapeshifter]

Preface, 3 Years Later

To be clear, I think my original Preface essay still serves its purpose quite well, and it's still recommended reading for understanding the gist of this blog, but I also believe a lot can happen in just a few years!

As of writing this, I've been out of college for 2 years and moved from Utah to Oregon 6 months ago. Many of my relationships and friendships with others have evolved and changed, come and gone.

I've also fully rescinded my self-identity as a member of the mormon church; that wasn't entirely on the table when I first began writing these essays and putting them out there. If you've already read through most of my stuff, that was probably apparent to you. Still, I think it bears repeating, just to make myself clear:

I no longer consider myself mormon, nor will I ever rejoin as a member.

My original stated goal with these essays was to find ways to process my experience and to find some form of reconciliation between these two disparate facets of my identity. Coming out the other end of that struggle, I've decided that trying to balance those two parts will never be worth it to me - to the mormon church, my queer identity will always be too much, no matter how much I compromise and tone myself down, no matter how many parts of myself I cut off to fit their mold.

Instead, I've decided to just be me and let myself exist, letting myself be this weird and messy and imperfect creature, because you know what? Fuck the church! Look at that, I can say 'fuck' now, too! Who cares?!

I'm still writing and thinking about all this though, because really, I don't think this kind of trauma just completely goes away. The journey to healing is a long, never-ending road, but goddammit I'm gonna make the best of it and smell the flowers on the way.

If you're going through something similar, please know that my hand is outstretched, and I hope I can make this path a little less lonely. I promise things are much better on the other side, and that those things the church tells you about leaving aren't even remotely true. It's not always easy, but it's worth it to live for yourself.

[dorianwolfforest]

I feel like your blog would be the best to ask this, haas anyone here watched eleanor nightwalker's new video about Alex and Maya as queer rep? My adhd brain is curious but would not let me waste my time on it

you just made me click on an eleanor nightwalker video on my own accord and download it onto my computer (she gets no seconds of watchtime from me, fuck that) how dare you

Basically "ue ue ue all the relationship development happened outside of the game" which, fair, but it's hard to retcon things when they've already happened in your main story line.

"The events in Elli's comics don't feel official because they don't add anything to the game" die mad wtf are you on about, we got so much lore regarding the game and the characters in it from those comics

"You meet them as two separate characters and then all of a sudden they're cuddling in a field" yes, people in relationships are also their own separate entities, good job!

"We need something to explain why they're a thing, not just that they are" yet you do not push this narrative on any straight couple in the game. queer people do not owe you a grand romantic story to be "permitted" to exist, sometimes their relationship can just be one small part of their story and their existence does not need to be justified.

"Alex had a crush on justin in the clouds over silverglade comics!!! She also thinks about him a lot when we need to rescue him and is the one who suggests breaking him out of jail." WHAT. OUTRAGEOUS. BISEXUALITY? IN MY VIDEO GAME? (Doesn't even need to be bisexuality a lot of queer people mistake their close friendships as romantic feelings because they haven't clocked what they're attracted to yet) Also, like, yeah, if i was breaking someone out of prison i'd... think about them too? "She needs to stop defending him to make Alex and Maya's relationship seem more genuine" She's being a good friend? A good Samaritan? A person who sees someone get kidnapped and says "yeah i don't think that's right, stop it"??????

"Lisa would be the best queer rep because she doesn't have a romantic past and it fits her character" Lisa is word-of-god-confirmed to be bisexual. Get dunked on. Also, die mad.

"Maya's model is smaller than Alex so it looks weird" ok? fuck short ppl ig.

In short yeah, i'm sure we all want to see more of alex and maya, but that doesn't make their representation forced or bad. To finish off, die mad.

[telelsie]

GAY SPOCK REAL OR FAKE PLEASE READ

i haven’t been an active tumblr user in about 3 years but SNW and the whole gay spock debate has been occupying enough space in my mind that i felt the need to inflict my opinion onto you all.

as a spirker myself, i’m not at all denying that the het romance arcs SNW is pushing for jim and spock are by no means my favorite. i dearly dearly wish that we would’ve gotten at least SOME queercoding from SNW this season, but i’m also not as disappointed as some of you are with the choices the SNW team has made for spock’s character. i’ve seen quite a few people begging for gay spock (bless u all) and canon spirk from SNW, which is unquestionably the ideal outcome for the series — and given the way both the writers and actors have reacted to and welcomed fan opinions and questions about where the jim/spock dynamic is heading, i don’t think it’s unreasonable at all for us to be optimistic about the show’s direction. if sybok can be in a queer relationship, then we’ve already gone miles past existing TOS canon in terms of queer rep.

admittedly, SNW has issues (ortegas show us ur girlfriend and the lesbian flag hanging in ur quarters!!! we all know it’s there!!), but i struggle to believe that the het romance arcs for jim and spock were written with the intention of convincing fans to ~let go of spirk~ or anything along those lines. in fact, i think the biggest issue that trek fans are having with SNW is wanting it to deliver on all the subtext and queercoding that existed in TOS on an implicit level explicitly and immediately. SNW is a prequel. it’s whole job is to set up and develop the relationships that appear in TOS; and it does an amazing job of this for the most part, especially in giving the female characters like una, christine, and t’pring traits other than crippling gene roddenberry syndrome. what i’m trying to say is that the SNW writers are doing a good job. yes, even (ESPECIALLY) with spock.

i get why people are protective of his character, i am too, but i don’t understand the lack of faith and, honestly, lack of viewing comprehension, that i’m seeing from self proclaimed spock fans. if you were expecting SNW to give us fully formed Nimoy-Spock within the first two seasons, then i’m sorry, but you’re a little bit of an idiot. a lot of you both don’t understand the purpose of the show (in general and in relation to spock’s development) and don’t value the importance of long form storytelling. in fact, in my ideal world, spirk wouldn’t even be together by the end of SNW. part of the value of the k/s dynamic in TOS was spock’s internal struggle with his feelings for jim, a struggle that defines his character, actions, and life throughout TOS and the movies. this is a struggle that isn’t resolved until midway through the movies, and it wouldn’t be doing justice to the canon that created spirk to have their relationship evolve into romance before the events of TOS.

spirk is, and always will be a long form story which derives its value from the fact that it is a Very Very slow burn. for the relationship to retain its value without being watered down by reinterpretation, it needs to have all the turns, pitfalls, and pining that it did in the original canon. although it’s entirely possible that the SNW writers have no plans of canonizing spirk, it’s also entirely possible that their plans are just a little more long term than what most of the community wants right now. i would far prefer a spirk that begins in 3 seasons of steadily evolving homoerotic friendship than one that jumps the gun and results in an unsatisfying and underbaked depiction of a relationship that deserves to be done justice.

TLDR: be patient!!! stop acting like SNW is actively taking spirk out behind the shed and shooting it!! SNW is already the best new trek to come out of the revival — give it a little more time and slack to build momentum and solidify its position within paramount and the fan community and you’ll be happy you waited.

[electricvinyls]

You and Marvin falsettos in a relationship, tell me about it

This will be such a loaded answer, so sorry for the incoherence in whatever I'm about to say.

Our initial friendship starts all the way back in highschool, him around 15, me 14. We were just kind of casual friends. Me a closeted queer autistic, him... queer and not good at hiding it.

We grew up not close but, let's say acquaintances. We went on to pursue college, him ending up an advertising executive. I go into criminal justice, leaning towards being an Investigator.

We only rekindle closely after Whizzer's death, me already being friends with Cordelia and Charlotte. Whizzer's death becomes such a sensitive subject, and him and I get close by just co-existing. Many times I'd come over for coffee or tea and we'd sit in silence. Or put on a vinyl and stand around the kitchen. It takes 2-3 years before Marvin realises he even slightly loves me in a romantic manner. He had believed it was only platonic, that he loved me so deeply the way he would Charlotte or Cordelia. But the simple moments between him and I meant so much more than just that.

Kitchen dances, coffee dates, small conversations:they meant the world. In no way would I try to replace Whizzer, not at all. If anything he meant something to both of us. The confession is short and blunt. "I think I'm in love with you"

We take it slow, we don't even call ourselves boyfriends til months later. It's casual, but not in an open sense. Just casual to where we don't take ourselves too seriously. Both coping with ourselves and life. I love him lots ☹️☹️☹️

[leikeliscomet]

Let's Talk About Thasmin

Chapter 2 - I Haven't Even Told Anyone, Not Even Myself

Unlike her sapphic predecessors Bill and Clara, Yaz wouldn’t realise part of her identity until the end of her run. To say this confused fans and ended up being an unpopular decision would be an understatement. Is Yaz a lesbian or bisexual? Does it actually matter? Is she even queer if it took Chibnall so long? What about Ryan? Well, the earliest implication that Yaz could be sapphic was in Arachnids in the UK, when her mum thought she was seeing Thirteen. Thirteen and Yaz both deny it and claim they’re friends instead and there’s no real implication of Yaz being in denial because she does actually like her, so I understand the confusion here. The Haunting of Vila Diodati however, has a clear romantic subtext. In her conversation with Claire her ‘person’ is clearly Thirteen, so this is confirmation she has feelings for women or at least this specific one. Yaz and Ryan had a similar moment like this as Najia assumes Yaz could also be with Ryan in Arachnids. There’s also his comment about Danny Biswas ‘punching well above his weight’, implying a slight jealousy in Rosa. Additionally, there’s Yaz and Dhawan!Master’s ‘lucky at dice unlucky in love’ conversation in Spyfall Part 1 and his favouritism for her in Power of the Doctor. Because there’s multiple moments like this, it’s assumed Thasmin wasn’t planned but neither was Yaz’s coming out. I’ll save the ‘was Thasmin planned?’ analysis for Chapter 3 and instead focus on the idea that Yaz’s queerness was ‘forced’. From these moments it wasn’t really concrete who Yaz would end up with from S11 and S12, just suggestions of what could happen. Series 13 however gave us explicit confirmation of Yaz’s queerness in Eve of the Daleks, where she comes out to Dan. As already stated, this was a new approach to queer representation in the show because this queer character was a late bloomer. Unlike Bill Potts or Captain Jack, this was a queer character that wasn’t confident in her sexuality, but instead afraid. Regardless of the Ryasmin or SpyYaz subtext, Thasmin eventually got chosen in the end. Whether Yaz was meant to end up with Ryan or not, be a lesbian or bisexual, she is confirmed to be a sapphic and attracted to the Thirteenth Doctor. Just like Thirteen, the quality of the writing is still up for debate. And just like Thirteen, the fandom didn’t believe her. How is Yaz gay now when she was ‘supposed’ to be with Ryan? How is she really queer if she never had any girlfriends? Is she a real queer if the Master, a whole man, flirted with her? 

Patriarchy doesn’t just affect women’s sexuality but also heteronormativity. Women are conditioned to prioritise and pursue sexual and romantic relationships with men, marry and become mothers. This overlaps with compulsory heterosexuality, the idea heterosexual norms of romance and sex are imposed on a systemic level. Because of this, it’s not uncommon for lesbians to have had relationships with men in the past before realising their lesbianism. It’s also not uncommon for bi, pan and queer women to feel like their relationships with men have a higher value than other genders. The idea that women’s sexual and romantic attraction to other women is temporary and can be corrected by a relationship and/or sex with a man is lesbophobia. Both the sexualisation and desexualisation of lesbians are two sides of the same lesbophobic coin. Sexual/romantic attraction between women isn’t seen as real, just experimentation or extended friendship. When lesbian sex and romance do exist they’re for the pleasure of a cis heterosexual audience of men, not for the pleasure of lesbians. Even when lesbians don’t participate, the sexual pressure to perform for this audience still remains. Lesbians' unconventional attraction creates the idea of the lesbian as a non-woman for not living up to a woman’s ‘role’ in society, but are then prevented from the idea of a trans/non-binary lesbianism. In the same lens as compulsory sexuality, there ends up being no autonomous lesbian sexuality. Lesbians can’t participate but also can’t not participate. Referring back to the conservative backlash to Thasmin, Yaz is accused of having a ‘woke’ lesbian relationship with Thirteen despite not being a ‘real’ lesbian in the first place. Yasmin Khan is hated for her lesbianism whilst not being allowed to have it anyway.

Comphet lesbianism and bisexuality are both erased in discussions about Yasmin Khan’s sexuality. It’s not possible for Yaz to be with a man because she was pressured to do so internally or by society. It’s not possible Yaz could just be attracted to men and women. Yaz was with a man and regardless of context, her proximity to men is now more important than her canon feelings for women. Ryasmin and SpyYaz never had a kiss or romantic confession but its romantic undertones are recognised and understood, regardless of whether fans support them or not. But this gets lost in translation when it comes to Thasmin even though that’s the romantic subtext that became canon. The recent Kate Stewart and Liz Shaw ‘discourses’ are examples of this too as their proximity to male characters is seen as enough proof to debunk their lesbian headcanons. Similarly, this happens with Thirteen’s attraction to women. She’s attracted to River and Yaz and she expresses little to no attraction towards the men of the era, hence the lesbian-Thirteen headcanon amongst the thassies. There’s also the common panromantic asexual headcanon of the Doctor in general and so, a pan-ace-Thirteen headcanon also exists. Regardless of whether Thirteen is attracted to men or not, her attraction to men is considered higher in value than her attraction to Yaz. We can assume Thirteen could be attracted to men if previous doctors were too. But the idea of Thirteen being attracted to women, despite previous doctors being attracted to women as men, becomes taboo. Whilst Chibnall himself didn’t explicitly write Yaz to say she is a lesbian or bisexual, many fans have their own interpretations. As the official account reshared and supported a Thasmin artwork that depicted Yaz as a lesbian, many thassies took that as lesbian-Yaz being canon. Plus with Mandip Gill’s cosign of another artwork also showing Yaz with the lesbian flag, I will take this as a confirmation of Yasmin Khan’s lesbianism in the same way I used the artwork from the official account as confirmation of Thirteen’s asexuality and non-binary transness (though thanks to Twelve, we been knew about the last one!). That being said, I argue analysing bisexual-Yaz still matters, because the erasure of her attraction to women shows the bigger issue.

The invalidation of Yasmin Khan’s queerness bleeds into the general erasure of queer women of colour, especially South Asian women. South Asian women are still underrepresented in sapphic representation and there are many queer South Asian stories yet to be told. In recent years there’s been a rise in sapphic South Asian characters such as Abbi Singh from The Imperfects as mentioned in Chapter 1, Parvati Holcomb from Outer Worlds, Rumi Joshi from Rebel Cheer Squad and Nasreen Paracha from Ackley Bridge. Nas’ story especially has her dealing with shame, loneliness, and navigating her sexuality as a Pakistani Muslim girl in a working-class British community. After dealing with racism and heteronormativity, along with the erasure of women of colour in sapphic spaces and representation, it’s not uncommon for WOC to be ‘late’ to the queer function. In the current ‘sapphic renaissance’ of music, there’s a lack of WOC in the discussions such as Megan Thee Stallion, Syd, Tracy Chapman, Rina Sawayama etc., despite them all helping pave its lane in the first place. Lesbian, bi, pan and queer WOC are excluded in the sapphic renaissance because the queerness of women of colour is excluded itself already. Even within the fandom. Many sapphic fans looked to Ruby Sunday to be the new sapphic companion on the block, which isn’t inherently bad as the more the merrier but this had weird implications for Yaz. There was a big ‘need’ for a new sapphic companion as if there wasn’t one on our screens for 3 series. Before Ruby even appeared on screen she was headcanoned as a sapphic and from the RTD2 reviews she was accepted as the latest bisexual companion since Clara. The acceptance of bisexual-Ruby still remains even though she had no female love interests (not to say this dampens her bisexuality, because it doesn’t). It’s hard not to notice the gap between her and Yaz. It would be easy to bring up Bill Potts as a counterpoint here because she’d be an example of a lesbian WOC that was mostly well-received right? But this wouldn’t be fully honest. Bill experienced rampant lesbophobia from the fandom for explicitly talking about her sexuality and was accused of shoving it down the viewer’s throats (on top of the antiblackness of course!). The only context it was accepted was in the sense that she wouldn’t be a love interest for the Doctor and wouldn’t express any romantic or sexual desire for him, but as already addressed in the Thirteen chapter, lesbian or asexual tolerance is not the same as true queer acceptance. And this tolerance can be revoked at any time. This also leaves out Penny, the dark-skin Black girl Bill dated for 3 seconds in series 10. She ended up disappearing and PennyBill became endgame instead. We have Carla Sunday too, but like Penny, she’s a dark skin Black lesbian that exists as a side character who didn’t get a lot to do in her debut season. When it comes to the sapphics of Who, most fans’ minds aren’t going to them. In terms of lesbian, bisexual, pansexual and queer women of colour in Doctor Who, there’s still a long long way to go. 

Referring back to Legend of the Sea Devils, there’s also the ‘controversial’ moment where Thirteen compares Yaz to River. From a writing standpoint, River was given a lot to do from her first appearance. Every story she was in, some a lot more than others, was leading up to her return to The Library. Yaz on the other hand, had a very basic role in series 11, didn’t get her backstory episode until series 12 and didn’t get to do main companion duties like flying the TARDIS until series 13. On one hand, I kinda got it. But on the other hand, some fans were upset Yaz got compared to River specifically because she didn’t do the work needed. So I wondered, why does Yaz need to ‘work’ for the Doctor’s love? When did any companion? Nuwho’s set a standard for ‘special’ companions so in comparison, the Chibnall companions don’t seem like they brought much to the table. But even then, the Doctor’s loved a wide range of companions in many different ways. Even one-off side characters. Pre-time vortex, metacrisis or jump into their timeline, the Doctor still loved their companions, ones with powers and ones without. But Yaz didn’t do enough. Doctor Who teaches love is for everyone but to fandom, Yaz wasn’t worthy. A parallel can be made between her and Martha. A Black woman and a South Asian woman who loved the Doctor and were hated for it. A Black woman and a South Asian woman who didn’t ‘earn’ their romances, requited or not. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

I’ve grown more ‘attached’ in a sense to Yaz’s coming out scene in Eve of the Daleks and it’s now one of my favourite character moments from her. ‘I haven’t told anyone, not even myself’ paints a picture with only a few words. She’s not only closeted to the rest of her friends and family but to herself. If Yaz admits the truth then her truth changes. She stops living the straight life she thinks she has and the world around her becomes different. She’ll start navigating the world as a queer woman, living life in a way she didn’t think was possible. For better and for worse. To be a queer person ‘late to bloom’ means a feeling of missing out on what could’ve been an earlier queer life. Yaz never had the chance to explore her queerness because she never had an environment where those questions could be asked. As the end of the Thirteen’s run was coming to an end, the guilt and shame of her ‘lateness’ felt heightened. She’s gained a new part of herself but also becomes aware of what she’s lost and what she can never have.

My criticisms of how Yaz’s sexuality was handled are essentially the same as with Thirteen’s. Yaz’s storyline could’ve been a huge moment in representing the story of a lesbian slowly coming to terms with her sexuality. What makes it frustrating is the seeds were already sown for it. Yaz was bullied by Izzy Flint, ran away, got depressed and became a police officer to follow in the footsteps of the officer who helped her. If Yaz was bullied for her sexuality and became in denial in fear of proving her bully right, that could’ve tied into those events. Chibnall could have kept her backstory the same and the effect would’ve still been there (minus that police arc though he could’ve kept that). The moments of Yaz talking to Claire and Dan worked well, but there just weren’t enough of those moments. Series 11 mainly focused on the Grace-Tim Shaw ‘arc’, so Yaz didn’t really get her time to shine. I’d say planting more seeds in that series could've worked and using the focus on Graham and Ryan as an excuse to why Yaz’s feelings went under the radar. Maybe they didn’t notice because they were busy beefing with Tim. Do Ryasmin or don’t but either way have it segway to Thasmin. Then in series 12 drop the bombshell - Yaz likes Thirteen. This easily explains her being the most upset about Thirteen’s self-sacrifice in The Timeless Children and doing the most to find out why she went missing. Take that scene with Jack in Revolution of the Daleks and make it about two queer companions who’ve had feelings for the Doctor, the older generation and the new. Have Yaz say she’s a lesbian, or, make her labelessness part of the storyline. She doesn’t know her label or maybe she doesn’t want one. Either way making Yaz’s ‘lack’ of queer identity her queer identity could’ve been a way to navigate her ‘late’ arrival. Maybe that could’ve worked too. The idea that there is no ‘late’ arrival to queer sexuality, because everyone makes that journey at their own pace and that Yaz is no lesser than her predecessors for having a longer one. Oh what could’ve been…

<- Chapter 1 Chapter 3 ->

[dearweirdme]

so if jungkook had released a gcf about tae with a queer-coded song by a gay artist using "boy" as a pronoun you'd say it's just a friendship thing? got it. either jikook's whole dynamic is platonic and thus nothing he'd ever do for taehyung that he has done for jimin would be used as ammo by tkkrs OR you're just picky and only pick whatever makes your ship sail as proof.

if jungkook watches taehyung compilations and interviews on youtube during tae's debut or goes to support him during practice that'd be friendship support.

and if jk or tae ever show up with a bruise on their neck that the other inflicted then that would have the same legitimacy as jikook's hickey.

if jungkook ever sucks on taehyung's ear that'd also be a bro thing.

and no, "taekook doing things that jikook did before won't make me believe in them because that's not the reason why i think they're dating in the first place. it's the touches and looks and the jealousy, blah blah blah" doesn't work because jikook have all that too yall just don't want to acknowledge the smaller moments because it's too much and resort to debunking the big loud ones instead because "a gay couple in a homophobic country wouldn't be that loud" as if a glass closet can't fucking exist and all gay people are closeted and don't at least try to bust through that door every once in a while because it gets suffocating having to hide all the time

Hi anon!

You can manipulate my words all you like, but that is obviously not what my point was. If you want to win an argument you have to do it fairly anon, otherwise it's just manipulation. I was asking if you would be able to do what you were asking of me.. but you know youcan't, and that's why you resort to twisting my words. To make it look like you've won something.

You are the one coming to me right... you are the one triggered by something I said. I never (!!!) sent asks to Jikook blogs. I look through tags at times, because I want to know what goes around in fandom... because different perspectives matter. But I know my thoughts and I am never insecure enough to go to Jikook blogs and try to convince them of something. I know I won't convince you. I am not the first Taekooker, neither am I a big blog... so if there was a chance of convincing you of my ship.. you would have already turned. I think you see things wrong, but I care very little about that in general.

I don't care if you believe in Tae and Jk's relationship or not. It doesn't add anything to me personally. So maybe stop caring about my opinion too.