#why do i attract women

[skateisawesome]

i really dont want this to come across as homophobic but i have lifelong issues with tone so if it does can someone tell me and ill fix it!

so i have spent the last 4 years of my life coming out as a straight person. sounds stupid.

but basically i have had so many dating rumours surrounding me and my friends that i used to get asked at least once a week if i was gay. i dont know what im doing thats making everyone think im dating my friends but apparently i do it to everyone. i have been the queer awakening for several of my close friends who fell in love with me and through that discovered that they liked girls.

all of that is fine and i can deal with it. im happy to keep correcting people and i've been working on being less flirty with my friends and putting effort into it. what's been pissing me off for the last year or so is the ongoing assumption that i am gay and i just dont know it yet.

i have been outright told by people "one day im going to kiss you and youll discover you like girls"

it made me feel uncomfortable and weird and im gonna be so honest here. i just dont think i like girls that way. i really thought about it and i dont. but i would (and still am) getting told by my close friends that one day when i 'eventually come out' they are all gonna sit around and say i told you so.

but i also wanna say that if i ever was to discover that i was not straight, it would be pretty hard to come out to any of those people, to any of my friends. theyd be so aggressive and constantly tell me that they knew or that it was old news. and so it kinda feels like even if im questioning things, ive been forced to reiterate that im straight so many times that being queer doesnt feel like an option anymore. its like i was forced to decided gay or straight when i was twelve and then people have harassed me ever since and now im not allowed to change what i chose even if i was to be seriously considering not being straight.

to me that feels really fucking toxic and its just upset me for the longest time.

and at this point i dont know what to do. like i cant really retaliate or say anything without people thinking im homophobic (which i swear to you i am not and my intention is not ever to harm that wonderful community in which so many people i love exist). i never want to hurt anyone but like what the fuck do i do!

im so sick of this. its also so weird and i kinda doubt that anyone else has really had this problem lmao.

i would love some opinions. look idk why im posting this. i dont care. i want people to tell me im justified but i also want people to tell me why they think im not. i want someone else to tell me what to do because i dont know.

[yakityyaku]

very funny (irritating) to me that everyone whined and yelled about stupid rainbow capitalism and how performative wokeness/allyship is a net bad we should all refuse to support and now like.

tumblr is doing nothing for pride and target isn't selling much (if any) of their pride collection offline except at certain stores (in democratic areas, basically) and build a bear has a much tinier collection than normal and all the actual pride stuff is on their "adult" website (not sure if it's in stores, but pride = adult is a hell of a message)

there are genuinely good criticisms for performative allyship in all its applications. it shouldn't be the only thing we expect from people and companies. but if all the shit I see being called performative stopped tomorrow then in terms of the LGBTQ+ community especially we just. wouldn't talk about queerness or queer issues or celebrate pride or do anything.

open your fucking eyes. we are very close politically to having gay marriage rolled back. now companies are basically being let off the hook to even make a miniscule effort (which matters to the people who don't have access to any other kind of support in their communities! which normalizes the community in public spaces!) because the only reaction they have gotten over the last few years are negative ones from BOTH sides.

we are so entrenched in discourse at all times for the sake of our OWN performance of who is the wokest and who is REALLY an ally or a good community member that we have basically handed over all the work of activists of the last several decades to the other side because we'd rather scream at each other over fucking chicken restaurants and shit than the real life backsliding that's happening.

and this goes for other shit too. feminism, poc rights, all of it.

also. trans rights aren't discourse and aren't just culture war arguments. in case any terfs think they can spin this to be antitrans.

[nightlocked-in]

“peeta is bisexual” you guys are losing the vision. peeta isn’t even straight. katniss INVENTED sexuality for him. whatever katniss identifies as, he’s like “yeah, i’ll take that one” no questions asked

[housecow]

Girl please stop romanticizing obesity, it will literally kill you eventually (and I know it’s not the first time someone says it to you). Like are you even ok? Romanticizing being immobile & being humiliated on the street? Why would you even aspire to this? For some attention of questionable men on this app? Girl they don’t deserve you. This message comes from a place of concern, it is not intended as an insult. You said you want a career in the future, maybe focus on that, I’m not sure how possible it is do all that while being immobile or having whatever condition.

omfg 😭 i apologize for writing little stories to get myself off, i guess?? lmfao. i have a fetish. i state clearly in my bio that this is what to expect. sorry im horny posting anonymously on tumblr.com ???? stop being weird when u don’t even belong in these spaces

[tiny-huts]

I am in complete agreement with the Astarion is (and all the other companions are) pan crowd. He is canonically pan and that should not be erased. But every post about it really needs to have at least one comment devaluing his attraction to men and denying the fact that he seems to have a preference for men (which is accurate to the lived experiences of bi/pan people. MANY people have a preference). Also many people need to realize that most people are not upset that you are having Astarion kissing your lady Tav but that most people are upset that many (not all) astarion x f!Tav works completely erase his more feminine mannerisms and stuff him into a tasteless hetero male love interest box which is like djddjjdjd not great and I do not trust it

[sergle]

I'm so glad you said something girl I've been thinking about it on and off for a few months, the SB actor was one of my favorite actors, and the musical is still my all time favorite, but now it just feels uh, weird, when I look at it lol. When the news broke out that he was dating Ariana I was like "what? lol this is so fake. he's married and loves his wife, they've been together for a decade. these are such weird rumors. he would Not do this" ...and then uhh the divorce news came out. I'm not shattered or devastated or anything like that even tho I used to be such a big fan of him, obviously idk him as a person whatsoever, I just liked his work as SB, but wow I'm still like... so surprised that it happened bc it just feels like such an unlikely Thing to happen when I was SO used to seeing hundreds of his posts where he'd gush about his wife and how much he loves his wife and her family, and their newborn baby. I'm not even a fan of wicked but I definitely can't bring myself to watch it bc every time I look at their characters I'm going to be seething and squinting and huffing and puffing and scoffing and scowling until the sun rise. currently rolling around on my carpet and wailing at 2:37 in the morning over this

I do not trust men for a second!! when they gush about how much they love their wives, I can almost never believe it, bc then this type of wild stuff happens! going full Ned Fulmer. sidenote this was a really funny ask to get bc I was not plugged in with This Guy beforehand, my condolences to those who were a fan of him and then had their images shattered LMAO can you imagine being with someone long-term, since high school, you decide to have a baby together, and then while you're still raising your newborn, your husband is fucking ariana grande. and leaves you for her. I would personally become the joker but that's just me

[tenderpreyy]

​I’m thinking again about Astarions sexuality and how I've seen some people (to be fair, just a few) talk about it. Mainly, people pointing out his flamboyant behavior, and that us as players are learning more about his past male lovers than female ones and basically all these things for some people pointing to him being gay or at least not interested in women in the same way he is in men. And him only being a romance option regardless of gender, because, well, all companions are and he is therefore just "playersexual", only showing interest in female player characters because he has to, because of the game mechanics.

I think what really rubs me the wrong way about this topic is that it echoes the kind of things bi/pan people (speaking as a bisexual woman myself) find themselves dealing with irl. Whether through some form of internalized biphobia or from the outside through other people's comments. Of course this is about a fictional character so it’s not like he has any feelings that could be hurt. But when i see people tallying up how often he mentions men vs. how often he mentions women it really reminds me of a way of thinking I sometimes fall into in regards to my own sexuality. This is definitely just an internalized response and not something I actually believe when I truly think about it for a second, but I know these patterns of thought very well. Of observing my own behavior. How often do I find which gender attractive? Am I attracted "enough" to women? Do I talk about men's attractiveness too often? Is it the other way around? Am I only saying this woman is attractive to prove something to myself? I literally have a girlfriend and my attitude towards mine or other's sexual orientation is generally a huge big "whatever, I don't care". And I still have a passing thought like that from time to time.

So seeing people talk about a fictional character in this way really sends home how many people (whether consciously or unconsciously) see attraction as some sort of equation, you can solve, where in the end you get a result of either gay or straight.

[silvermoon424]

It fucking blows my mind how so many men will just see a picture of a woman and feel compelled to publicly announce whether he finds her fuckable or not. This happens on basically every social media site and also irl. Like, did you ever consider that maybe she's not desperate for the approval of random men and she doesn't care if you think that she's too fat or her nose is too big or whatever?

It just gets really disheartening running into this time and time again because it really hammers in the point that far too many men only value women for our looks. Like they have the capacity to comment literally anything and somehow it always comes back to whether a woman makes their peepee hard or not.

[aliciavance4228]

"Medusa x Perseus" Why don't you guys ship Bellerophon with Chimera? Or Heracles with the Hydra?

[doll-elvis]

the way the feminism would leave my body at lightning speed as soon as Elvis asked me to do something…

like cut your toenails? let me go get the clippers sir

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

If I could be arsed to learn how to edit videos and had some kind of mic, I would 110% make a two part video essay series on the politics of Jurassic World because MY GOD, there's so much to dissect.

The first part would be about how the park is the epitome of neoliberal futurism for techbros, including the way the park so easily falls apart though I doubt that aspect is purposeful. Everything is aesthetic first and function second, and we can't possibly use any of the reliable infrastructure we've already come up with because a train is not gonna get us to Mars, but a monorail might.

And the second would be about the buckwild terrible gender politics going on. The movie is deeply unsympathetic to Claire seemingly because she's a woman who prioritised her career as it's both centre to her character arc and also an inciting event of one of the plots. Not to mention the whole Zara thing or the Owen and Claire thing or the stupid "him, I meant him, line. The movie is rife with misogyny, but it feels like that specific misogyny was isekaied over from backlash to second wave feminism.

I could talk about it all for so long because in a way, it feels like a perfect time capsule for 2015. Back when people took Claire running in heels to be this feminist statement to be made fun of and not just a deeply misogynistic movie trying to sell you feminism. And back when Elon Musk managed to get away with his "I'm the real life Iron Man" shit, and people believed he was smart and all his plans would come to fruition. 2015 was a great time to be a tech bro in Silicon Valley with people just throwing money at all your fake promises.

Yeah. See. This is what I mean when I say I could talk about it forever.

[shorlinesorrows]

don’t be a coward

*aroaces your rottmnt leo*

[michaelmylove]

the curse of your favorite ships being gay men but are only able to draw women </3

[yonpote]

is pj bisexual? i feel like i remember him being bisexual

obsessed with the way you phrased this.

ah yes i remember his bisexuality well i saw it in a dream, a far off vision....

[neonbuck]

maybe it will clear out more toxic people if i come out as a bi lesbian on here and also considerably less transmasc than i used to identify as

[ct-hardcase]

just typed out a war and peace style post about wanting there to be an equivalent of body neutrality in feminist spaces re: periods/childbirth/etc and though there are so many caveats to what I have to say, I think that there can and should be a middle ground between "your divine feminine body was built for these processes and you will embrace the pain with grace/this is easy for everybody" and borderline misogynistic fearmongering surrounding standard bodily phenomena