#i just CAN'T seem to finish them

[le-chevalier-au-lion]

le dragon rouge: rosquez [e]

“Grandmother,” Valentino drawls out. Marc’s fangs gleam, wicked—he can’t stop staring. They’re smaller than he had imagined. Sharper, very white. “What big teeth you have got.”

Marc lets out a snort. Doesn’t smile and doesn’t blink either. “All the better to eat you with.”

It’s—disquieting. It is also disquieting when he does it in press conferences, or when he’s listening hard to whatever bullshit Valentino is saying, but nothing softens the blow here. Marc’s attention falls over him intensely, scrapes along his nerves.

Hungry—which happens to be the crux of their current issue.

Valentino is thinking about it—Little Red Riding Hood. Being eaten. Same difference. Marc’s mouth is close, is the thing, and bitten pink. Almost pretty enough to distract him from what it hides, how his voice comes out lisped through his teeth.

It sounds a bit goofy, except everything Valentino can see is how ashen his face looks, the marble motionless of his posture.

He’s acutely, unfortunately aware of his heartbeat on his jugular, also.

Valentino is not surprised by anything that has happened thus far. It was right there on his files— MÁRQUEZ, Marc: vampire, 21 years old . So no, not surprised.

And he caught Marc feeding, once. On a fucking club bathroom, a girl in a mini green dress pressed between him and the grimy wall. She was screaming, but no, not that away. Less like she had teeth on her throat draining her dry, more like she had a couple of fingers in her cunt.

So sue him, he is a little curious.

“Valentino,” Marc says, doing a terrible job of trying to look steady with his huge, liquid eyes and the pinched tight press of his lips, like he’s salivating and wants to hide it. “Are you—ok?”

“Yep,” he pops the p obnoxiously. Makes himself grin. “Come on, food is getting cold.”

“Hmm—okay.”

It doesn’t sound very certain. Valentino is pretty sure he should be offended.

Marc bends down to hover over him anyway, pressing Valentino against the bed, chest on chest, worse than chains. His thighs had been cold, braced around his hips, but he’s fucking freezing —like metal left out in the winter. He can feel the hair on his standing on end. His little flinch, trapped under him.

It’s June in Spain, he shouldn’t burn like ice. It makes no sense.

The cold is better than looking at Marc, though. Easier. Kid’s—whatever, a predator species, something bad and wicked, but he doesn’t usually look like that. Doesn’t usually look like much of anything unless he’s up on a bike and taking them all for idiots.

And he’s terribly sweet for Valentino too.

He isn’t sweet in this bed. Eyes too dark, with an inorganic, lifeless glint to them. Body too still, never fidgeting, every move deliberate, seamless.

Valentino had read about it once—uncanny valley. That there had to be a reason for humans to be afraid of things that look like them but aren’t them.

Marc’s nose brushes against the hollow of his throat. Valentino swallows around nothing—mouth dry and sour. His pulse spikes. He wonders how much of that the vampire nuzzling him can feel, smooths out a scoff before it bursts out of chest.

“It’s alright,” Marc aims for soothing and misses it by a mile. He’s panting, and each word sounds like it was pried laboriously from his mouth. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Valentino laughs. Can’t help it, or how gravelly it sounds. “I thought that was the point.”

Marc huffs. The chill of his face pressed on the side of his neck is like a naked blade. 

“No, it isn’t.”

There’s this something tugging under his skin. Not fear—well, not only fear, Valentino has an alright sense of preservation for a moto rider, and he isn’t exactly thrilled by pain—but still there. Prodding like thorns.

Annoyance, except he doesn’t know why, doesn’t know anything other than the fact it makes him itchy, restless. He’s a pinned butterfly, the sheets creaking under him.

Marc’s lips skim over his carotid, icy, a little cruel—which is new. Horrible. And horrible in the way it makes his stomach clench. Valentino sucks in a rattling breath. His tongue might as well be glued to the roof of his mouth.

“I can find someone else.” Marc inches away from him, tries to get up.

Valentino clamps his hand on the back of Marc’s neck, watches him jolt like a live wire. “You don’t want to,” he says, thrumming, runrunrun instinct screaming at him—he sounds catlike still. A little steelier than he’d planned to. “I think you want to eat me real bad.”

Marc makes a noise—helpless, half-choked, amused. “Yeah, I do.”

“Well. It’s polite to ask.”

“Please, please,” he mutters, a laugh threaded into it. Because of course Marc wouldn’t be ashamed of begging—Valentino chews on the inside of his cheek until it aches, something white-hot pulsing through him. “May I bite you?”

May I . Proper little boy, isn’t he?

Valentino lolls his neck to the side. “Be my guest.”

He sounds very magnanimous. It’s almost a joke, another one, and Marc—

Marc grabs his chin. Bears down on his shoulder to keep him in place. Valentino thought—he thought he’d hesitate a lot more. He doesn’t know why he did.

Then there are teeth.

It hurts. It really fucking hurts. Valentino makes a noise, strangled, like he’s sawed off a chunk of his tongue. Cold sweeps over him—worse than an ice bath after Sepang, the shock making his body seize and spasm.

Marc might as well be raking teeth over his raw nerve endings. Injecting him with poison.

Too much to feel, and barely anything he can untangle. Barely anything he wants to untangle. Valentino’s head goes taffy thick, fuzzy around the edges. His vision blurs, breaking in blocks of color and little else.

He would flinch if he could. Maybe. Or maybe not. As that haze rises, Valentino relaxes muscle by muscle, and he might as well go down a drain, bones liquid, that jolt of nauseous fear bled out of him along his consciousness. Ha .

Marc moans, a quiet, wrecked little noise, halfway to a sob, like he does when Valentino is mean to him, pushing in his spit-slick cock after quali and pressing his face against a wall to keep him quiet.

Everything about him is still cold , glacial, except his frantic tongue on his neck. That feels scorching, and Christ, Valentino isn’t sure about pain anymore. It’s a blurry, feverish thing crawling under his skin. Too much. Too big. Valentino isn’t sure about pleasure either.

There’s only Marc, and that wet sucking sound right against his ear. He laps Valentino up, hungry and fucking shameless about it.

He feels his heart pumping, feels his blood moving the wrong way inside his veins—into Marc. It’s the most in-his-body Valentino has ever been.

A high, keening groan echoes between them, through the pounding in Valentino’s head. It has to be coming from him. He can’t stop it, or close his mouth, or think about moving. Valentino sinks— ah , ah , ah , dizzy when he tries to figure out he’s hurting, or not hurting, or feeling good.

He’s shaking. Like that one time when he brushed against a live wire by accident and couldn’t unclench his hand, stood there jolting until Stefania pushed him.

It sizzles inside—that feeling he can’t name, like an orgasm that just won’t quit until Valentino can’t decide if it’s great or worse than a knife between his ribs.

Valentino drifts on nothing. Time drips around him, and his blood drips into Marc. Marc who’s starving, who doesn’t ever care about stopping. Valentino is getting wrangled like his Honda on the corners, bent to his will. He laughs about it. Tries to.

Marc would eat him whole. He would.

And it isn’t great , but Valentino lets himself be taken over, fights to keep his eyes open—so he can look at the ceiling. At the tanned sliver of skin on Marc’s nape.

Everything spins. Loses meaning.

It all comes crashing down when Marc lets go of him. Valentino blinks, his eyes gritty—shudders, too. Entire chunks of his body are unresponsive, numb.

Marc presses his face against his chest, stays there. He’s panting, shoulders heaving with it, fever-hot to the touch and thrumming with wild energy. Can’t seem to stop fidgeting above Valentino, his fingers restless on the bones of his collar, back and forth and back and forth, right where it pushes against his skin.

Slowly, with Marc keeping him pinned to the bed, Valentino realizes his vision has focused again.

His senses come back to him one by one—the cool, smooth sheets under him, the rancid yellow lamplight, Marc’s strong things braced around him, the staleness in his mouth, the metallic smell thick and soupy in the air.

Marc leans back. Still fucking disquieting—except not quite. His cheeks are flushed pink. There’s red all over his lips, all over his chin, messy like when Valentino hooks his fingers into the babyfat of his cheeks and makes him show the come on his tongue, tells him to not swallow. He isn’t stone, or cold metal, or motionless.

And his eyes. They’ve gone from unnatural to searing, dark as pitch.

Alive. Hard to miss it when he was so other before.

It’s pretty. Reminds Valentino of that one time he saw an eagle pluck a kitten from the side of the road in Tavullia, the glossy blackness of its feathers.

Marc shifts again on his lap. It hits him like being highsided into the asphalt. Valentino scrambles for air, his cock oversensitive in the cooling stickiness inside his underwear. He had—

“Uh.”

“I’m sorry,” Marc snorts, not sounding sorry at all. He’s rubbing himself against his thigh, Valentino realizes. Looking fucking obscene about it, his budge fat and heavy, straining against his shorts. “It happens sometimes.”

“Alright,” he says eloquently, in an ugly jumble of syllables. Lets his eyes linger. “Aren’t you going to do anything about it.”

It isn’t a question.

So Marc immediately shimmies out of his clothes—awkward, overeager—and wraps a hand around the big cock he doesn’t fucking use for anything because he acts like he’s going to die without Valentino inside him.

He’s flushed dark, wet . Valentino isn’t sure he wants it—but he’s thinking about it anyway, Marc’s thick dick in his ass and Marc’s teeth on his throat, all at once. Being eaten. Consumed. All of it. If he could, he’d scorch that thought to ash, and his tacky underwear too.

His next breath comes out funny, a little choked. Marc, uncaring godling that he is, throws his head back, opens his mouth to moan.

He works his hand like he’s on time attack, no finesse—ruts against it, in this ugly, brash desperation that Valentino can’t help but stare at. It’s too soon, and he might not have enough blood for an erection, but his own cock twitches anyway. The pain of it is like being pricked with a needle.

Marc didn’t want to stop—he knows that. Would’ve loved to drink him dry, keep him for himself, hishishis in the gore in his stomach. It makes Valentino clammy, jittery. It also makes Valentino think about cutting him open, burrowing in.

All the way up to his elbow. Or mouth first—have them match.

“You needed it,” Valentino hisses. It’s easier to say than you could’ve killed me .

“I did—fuck, you’re so—l don’t how you let—”

Valentino doesn’t like what Marc is about to say. He hooks his fingers inside his gore-splattered mouth, right over his retracting fangs. They’re shaking, chilly, an uncoordinated weight. Marc clearly doesn’t care—garbles out this reedy noise, eyelashes fluttering low over his cheeks, and tries to sink his teeth in.

“Don’t,” Valentino hisses.

Marc goes wide-eyed, nods. He’s sweet like this, almost.

“Can I—,” he asks frantically, in a slur of words, leaking all over his hand.

Valentino toys with saying no , just to see if he’d cry, or get angry, or ignore him and keep going. Lets it shine through in his face. Marc whines, his dangerous mouth wobbling pitifully. That smooths the unkindness unfurling in his chest like an overgrown rose bush, all thorns.

“Of course,” Valentino croons, remarkably gentle, in rehearsed showmanship.

Gentleness comes easy with Marc’s leash in his hand. Easier at his harsh, stuttered, “ Valentino ,” when he sweeps a calloused thumb over the head of his cock.

Marc topples forward, curled above him, the blood on his chin drying brown and stark against his skin, the pale scar running there. The blood on Valentino’s throat is fresh, though, still dripping sluggishly on the sheets. His head is light, untethered, running in manic racehorse circles around Christ, Christ, Christ .

Each time he blinks, his eyes feel sandy, and his skin is clammy, underwear scraping along his dick, but he’s wired wrong under Marc’s second-hand heat—hungry too. Reckless with it.

“You’d take anything I gave you, no?” He hums genially, the words cracking like a whip between them, Marc scrambling to nod. “Whore.”

It drips honeyed from his lips— puttana .

When Marc comes, he does it with a small, wounded noise, jaw twitching. But Valentino told him no, so he doesn’t bite. Just shakes, pants open-mouthed and wanting, with his come trickling over Valentino’s chest. His eyes plead, and he clings to that, to the uncomplicated cruelty that this opens up.

Tomorrow, Valentino will get rid of everything—the bloody sheets, his clothes, the ache in his veins at Marc’s wicked, white fangs and the fat weight of his soft, come-tacky cock.

Tomorrow, for sure.

[qqueenofhades]

Kind of want to write an academic AU. Do I know for what ship/fandom? Nope. Do I have any plot besides mundane suffering and/or disturbingly specific catharsis for me? I do not. Have I written fic in ages? I have not. And yet. Here we are.

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 173 spoilers and thoughts but it's mostly just me getting tonal whiplash but not in a bad way i actually like this and more below the cut

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sorry i keep doing this (i.e. yelling about the very last panel of the ep instead of going chronologically) but i wanted to show this last panel first,,, idk how many alilloyd fans there are on tged-tumblr (tgedblr?) but i believe they'll be very happy about this panel and probably the next ep or so LOL

she's there for him again YAYYY YAYYYY but also what how did she get here WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?? HELP??

hopefully whatever happens after this will help alicia and lloyds relationship feel more balanced (rn its like fine but it definitely doesnt carry the same weight as llovier to me, simply bc we dont really see alicia and lloyd relying on each other in the same way javier and lloyd do - idk how else to put this but the "power balance" in their relationship feels different than lloviers if that makes sense, bc so often lloyd is doing things for alicia and that's just It yknow?)

anyway back to the top! we've got some really really nice panels of lloyd i just really like these in general,,, i like when he looks determined and serious and focused,,, it is cute

also explicitly mentioning this while also showing alicia IN the unfrozen time bubble with lloyd DOES make me worry a lil bit,,, what if smth happens,,, does fate still affect them when Most of the time across the world is frozen?? im scared,,, but also excited for more alicia lloyd scenes i can explain why in a bit,,, but also scared,,,

tyrant alicia looks cool as ever tho holy shit im VERY glad that the artist gave her a full set of armor and everything, so often we see fantasy stylized women's armor that really doesn't protect anything at all but alicia's armor is really nice and clean i like it,,,

also another panel of lloyd being cringe and javier being embarrassed,,, they're so stupid i love them . LET LLOYD BE CRINGE LET HIM BE FREE

this bit w artanis and the family was also super duper cute,,, little sillies,,, like treats,,,

seems like everyone will be safe for the time that they are frozen,,, thats good!!! at least i hope i am understanding this correctly

also thinking a LOT about these two panels bc,,, not only bc i really like how he looks in the second panel here, but also,,, well as i was reading this i hadnt realized that lloyd would be going off by HIMSELF to the mountains,,, i thought javier would go with him (bc he always does,,,)

i talked abt this when i reacted on twitter but like. javier asks if he's going by himself and lloyd goes "yeah it's fine" and javier doesn't question it, we don't see him objecting or anything,,, bc of course, lloyd will stay safe. that's what he says, so that's what'll be true. javier is also perfectly aware that lloyd can't be harmed by monsters, he's a sword master and has his singing. so the knight lets him go, bc this is a lloyd with a plan, and javier trusts his lord. but also it seems like javier doesnt really realize what exactly it is that lloyd is subjecting himself too. idk if he realizes that every time lloyd freezes time THATS whats freezing his heart; all the knight knows is that lloyd is dying, but the engineer has a solution so surely it's okay (it's not, lloyd is DYING IN THE COLD). jesus fuck

like i imagine if javier realized what exactly it is thats causing lloyd to Die is the exact stuff he's doing to stop fate and save everyone, he'd object immediately and try to find something else,,, but lloyd you fucking MARTYR u dont even say anything abt it and u GO OFF ALONE IN THE COLD WHAT ARE DOING WHAT ARE YOU COOKING. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!! MARTYRS ALL OF YOU!!!

also lloyd saying he's happy god fucking dammit. he has a goal and he's close to achieving it and all his loved ones are safe,,, that's probably the best feeling in the world to him that's the reason why he does like everything,,, it's just to protect what he cares about,,, this tiny lil smile i am going to shake him in a box

"lucky! this is perfect" AS HE'S DYING LLOYD YOU. YOUUUU YOU OYUU SHAKES YOU STOPP IT YOU FUCKING M. MARTYR!!!!

why is he like this. well okay i know why but like what the FUCK. i am pelting ten billion stones at him. risking his damn life AGAIN to protect everyone. leaving javier at the estate and not telling him what the deal is so that javier can be protected too bc thats where artanis is,,, all his loved ones in one place to keep them safe I HATE IT HERE /j

DOUBLY LOSING IT AT HIS FIRST THOUGHT, THE MOMENT HE GETS IN TROUBLE, IS TO CALL FOR JAVIER. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO ADD TO THAT I JUST THINK THAT SAYS SO MUCH ABT THEIR RELATIONSHIP

"ah, im dying! the first thing i think is not how to solve this myself, nor is it of my parents or of my skills, but of my longtime companion who has always been there for me and thus will help me when i call for him! and i think of him immediately!" points accusatory finger LLOVIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay i was gonna end the post there but i scrolled back up to review and realized i forgot to actually explain why i am excited for more alicia lloyd scenes so that's gonna go here now i guess LMFAOO

i really really hope that alicia and lloyd have a closer, more quiet moment to talk about their respective lives and history with losing loved ones and feeling isolated as a result. i WAS gonna talk abt that in a dedicated alicia post but i guess itll make a cameo here too lol

bc if u think abt it, suho and alicia both went through very very devastating losses. they both lost the lives of the people who cared for them most, and in very very tragic ways (suho's parents committed, and alicia's parents were slaughtered / alicia's brothers put her in a 'kill or be killed' situation). it's really unfortunate, it's life-altering, and it follows you,,, and then the isolation that comes after that makes it all even worse.

of course, we see suho very explicitly going through throes of isolation through endless work, endless school, and the sheer struggle to just survive to the next day by himself, with no family to support him. obviously, we don't see alicia explicitly having this experience, but i think it'd be reasonable to believe that after the death of her family,,, it was just her. she lost her parents and her brothers, and now she's the only one with the magentano name, and you can't exactly have an empty mantle now can you?

she probably didn't really have anyone to talk to about this. probably just a bunch of old coots on that board of nobles, who have to help her with this "being queen" thing, u cant exactly talk abt ur trauma to people who are technically working for u, who care more abt their status in the kingdom than anything else. and at such a young age, too... like yeah she's surrounded by people technically, but how many people around her actually care for HER, and not for her new status as crown princess? and then as queen? like no wonder tyrant alicia comes to be because of a betrayal from kyle, no wonder she's worried abt letting lloyd into her heart. she's probably been worried about betrayal from a loved one all her life bc of what her brothers did,,, that must be so isolating, and lonely.

so yes, i think alicia probably went through a long bout of isolation, too. and i think alicia and lloyd should Talk about it and have a heart to heart and go "jesus fuck we went through it,,, but we have found people we can rely on. and isn't that wonderful,,," and then alilloyd will have a wonderful leg to stand on yay

i WOULD go on longer about alicia in this rant but i wanted to save it for the post i was planning,,, i couldn't help myself this time though, bc it seemed relevant LOL

anyway i'll see u guys next week,,,!!! very curious to see where things go from here,,, pantara arc pulling shenanigans left and right!!!

[periwinkla]

Fic writers are a gift to humankind & should be appreciated more.

[kaiowut99]

GX Finalized-Subs!122 (and 123) (Preview): When Duel Zombies Attack (Recommended OST)

[sentientcave]

Mood board for my latest project. Little bit of it below the cut.

You eat the lunch you packed and pull off your sweater, the noon sun warming you up enough to not need it, at least for the moment. You putt along to a new spot and try fishing again, this time catching three good sized fish. Surprising, considering the time of day, but sometimes you get lucky. You're thinking about heading back home when you spot a flash of white under the water.

You grab your camera, determined to be ready. And then a grey shape launches out of the water and into your boat, nearly capsizing it. The white orca sluices through the water next to your boat a moment later, regarding you disdainfully with one bloodshot eye. He flicks his tail as he dives again, soaking you and your passenger.

Your seal friend makes himself comfortable at the prow of the boat, entirely too pleased with himself.

"You're on thin ice, mister!" You tell him, turning back the way you'd come. Thanks to him you missed your photo and nearly went for a swim in deep water. You're pretty sure he couldn't help you out of that situation even if he wanted to, especially with a hunter swimming just below. You certainly don't want four inch teeth biting you in half.

Of course, you don't want to see your friend get eaten in front of you either. You know its the way of the ocean, but he's your little buddy.

The white orca cuts across your path again. You stop your engine, heart hammering, and grab your camera. He disappears into the depths for a moment, and then jumps a little ways away. If you didn’t know better, you’d say he was showing off. You get several quick snaps that you know will be gorgeous— Water droplets catching the sun, his ghostly white body stark against the backdrop of the dark ocean. You grin at the seal, and yelp when something thumps the bottom of your boat, rocking it harshly.

Then the white orca (he needs a name, so you land on Ghost) surfaces next to you, terrifyingly close, and spits water at the seal.

“Holy shit,” you breathe, adjusting your lens for the close contact, camera shutter clicking away as you shoot pictures. Ghost eyes you, and then spits water a second time. The seal looks deeply offended, but not concerned, even with his hunter bobbing in the water a few feet away. “Aren’t you a pretty boy.”

He is pretty. A juvenile, maybe, now that you see him up close— He’s a bit small for an orca, but he’s all alone out here, no pod to speak of, and a juvenile wouldn’t survive on it’s own. As if he can hear your compliment, he creaks at you.

The seal barks back. He seems offended by Ghost’s presence. Understandable, since Ghost was trying to eat him earlier. You get a few funny snaps of the two of them regarding each other over the rim of the boat, having a conversation that you have no way of understanding. You feel a bit insane. A bit like you’re going to wake up laying in the bottom of your boat any minute, and this will all be a funny dream.

[fiepige]

I know it's irrational but still!

[maranull]

CAN I NOT GET A FUCKING HEART ATTACK FOR ONE HOUR

FFS

[everysongineverykey]

so-called doomerists when "If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boy and his dog and his friends. And a summer that never ends. And if you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot... no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angel, half devil, all human... Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield. ...for ever."

[skrunksthatwunk]

household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight

[maliro-t]

as a bona fide vaxleth lover i am more confused than ever about how they are portrayed on the animated series i'm not gonna lie 😭

[scificrows]

Me: *always getting the The Murderbot Diaries titles mixed up and not being able to remember which one is which* Also Me: Well, Artificial Condition is obviously the one with ART in it!! 😌😌😌

[aromanticasterisms]

As anyone who has ever listened to me talk about Lightning Gods for 2 seconds knows, I personally am not too fond of the Thunder Legion backstory we got from it. Partially because I am a childhood friends Thunder Legion truther, but mostly because I didn’t agree with the characterization choice that had them decide to follow Laxus after…that.

But I understand why it is the way it is, and more than that, I can see now that it does a fairly decent job at using what little space and time there was available to tie into the main focus of the story of Lightning Gods. Namely, Laxus’s and the Thunder Legion’s views on strength, the trust that all of them have in each other, and how that manifests in different ways.

Let’s begin with an overview on the Thunder Legion’s obsession with strength and duty, where it came from, and how it has changed forms over time.

The backstory for the Thunder Legion proposed in Lightning Gods is this:

Freed, Bickslow, and Evergreen team up to take on a job, only to find when they get there that Laxus has already finished it on a whim. They exchange some harsh words, and not long after they descend into a fight. Laxus beats them easily, and the three of them are awed and frightened by his strength and power.

Laxus, meanwhile, surprises them by complimenting them […sort of] on being the strongest guild members he’s seen in a long time, in giving him a good fight.

This event is what inspires the three of them decide to band together to form the Thunder Legion—a team dedicated to watching Laxus’s back. It is also the event that sets up their mentality further down the line: physical and magic strength are the most desirable traits one can have, and by continuing to be strong and interesting, they are allowed to stand by Laxus’s side.

Cut to years later, when the most obvious culmination of the Thunder Legion’s obsession with strength takes place: the Battle of Fairy Tail.

The entire point of the game is to weed out the weak from the strong, to create a stronger guild for Laxus to inherit. On his orders, the Thunder Legion are utterly merciless to anyone they deem weaker than themselves.

At first, this seems like purely blind loyalty, but as time goes on, we get a glimpse that it might be more than that. Specifically, right after Evergreen’s loss, we see that the standing the Thunder Legion has with Laxus isn’t a whole lot more solid than the rest of the guild, right now.

The moment Evergreen is beaten by Erza, Laxus re-categorizes her in his mind from strong to weak, and is ready to discard her, saying that he doesn’t need her in his Fairy Tail.

Freed expresses that he or Bickslow should have gone instead—not that Evergreen is weak, not that they don’t need her, but that Erza is simply too strong, and they should have sent someone better suited to counter her.

He then tells Laxus that the game is over, the battle lost, and Laxus tells him that unless he is willing to do exactly as he says with no hesitation, Laxus doesn’t need him in his guild either.

After this exchange, we now know that the Thunder Legion are only standing beside Laxus because they are strong. If they are weak, if they falter in their duties, they will be abandoned, discarded, and replaced.

The three of them are beaten, the game is lost, and Laxus is exiled. They slowly begin to settle back into the guild, to reconnect and mend bridges. But that obsession with strength and duty that the Thunder Legion has cultivated has not completely gone away—merely changed forms.

After all, few of their guild mates can stop themselves from commenting on how ridiculously strongthe Thunder Legion are. Many of them saw their magical strength firsthand, so the three of them are desperate to prove that their abilities can be put to good use.

When it comes to fighting strength, their mindset is one of protecting their guild mates no matter the personal cost. For Freed and Bickslow, we tend to see this manifest outwardly, as continually attempting to sacrifice themselves for their loved ones. For Evergreen, we see this manifest more as an internal struggle, as blaming herself for not being strong enough, and thinking that her lack of ability is what causes others to be hurt.

When Freed is selected to take place in the S-Class trials, with Bickslow as his partner, the two of them are paired up against Lucy and Cana. They proceed to throw the fight in the girls’ favor, allowing them to move forward. Freed says he owes it to the two of them specifically, after what happened in the Battle of Fairy Tail.

Later, when Evergreen and Elfman are targeted by Rustyrose and defeated by him, Evergreen blames herself for not being strong enough, and says that if it weren’t for her, if Elfman had picked a different partner, he may have been able to succeed.

In the Key of the Starry Sky arc, Bickslow throws himself in the way of an attack to save Wendy, and even insists that she should abandon him and save herself—abandoning a comrade who is nothing more than dead weight is still a viable strategy in his eyes.

“Sometimes you gotta have the courage to leave your friends behind too!”

However, unlike Laxus [who I’ll talk about later], the Thunder Legion largely understands that there are different types of strength. Laxus judged himself and others using solely fighting strength as a metric, but the guild as a whole requires a more diverse skill set to deal with a range of day-to-day issues, which the Thunder Legion commit to their comrades with just as much enthusiasm.

Freed’s mission with Wendy is a good example of this. The Master—and Cana, of all people, who Freed feels he has a personal debt to—entrusts not only Wendy’s safety to him, but also her growth and development as a mage. He follows the rules set by them to the utmost of his abilities, even having a minor crisis when his two duties conflict, and he doesn’t know which course of action is the right one to take.

When there is a clear course of action, though, he’s quick to take it, utilizing his runes and his blade for all manner of things that have nothing to do with fighting.

At one point during the journey, Happy comments:

“That’s the Thunder Legion for you! Always there in a time of need!”

It’s clear that by this point, they have already established a reputation for being incredibly reliable and dependable, despite the fact that this is quite soon after the Battle of Fairy Tail, and the three of them rarely spent time in the guild hall beforehand.

These feelings of needing to be strong and useful so people keep them around linger on even past Fairy Tail’s disbanding, into Lightning Gods. The three of them are incredibly eager to be helpful to Laxus.

Evergreen reinforces this when they step up to destroy the Vesper Blockade Mirror for the first time:

“Let’s show them why you keep us around.”

She says this in tandem with Bickslow, who says Laxus won’t enjoy destroying an object. The three of them step forward to do work that, they assume, Laxus would find tedious or boring.

Not long after they figure out how to destroy the mirror, the priestess Weyse shows her true colors as a Zeref fanatic, and takes on the powers of the demon God of Nightfall.

The God of Nightfall is, quote:

“…a type of magic that shows people illusions of the doubts and fears…and traumas…they carry deep inside.”

To torment the Thunder Legion in the illusion, Weyse begins with this:

“Oh, you guys! As if he could rely on you! You call yourselves his bodyguards, but at the slightest threat you just bleat out for him. No wonder he gets hurt worst of all.”

This doesn’t seem to affect them at all, as all three’s responses are rather unimpressed.

“Yeesh. What terrible lines.” “I guess she’s trying to rattle us.”

This showcases their understanding of who Laxus is as a person. They’ve followed him for years now, so they’re well aware of what he’s capable of, and more importantly, what he’s like, and what he tends to do.

The Thunder Legion is incredibly confident in Laxus. They trust him more than perhaps anyone else, and want more than anything else to protect him and keep him safe.

However, they are also well aware that they cannot control his actions. Especially after the stunt he pulled just before Tartaros. He gets hurt worst of all because he tends to insist on doing things on his own, whether it’s to prove himself, to enjoy a fight more, or because he wants to keep everyone safe. When the people he cares about are in danger, he jumps in to help, and sometimes pushes himself to the point of self-destruction. This is a trait that many mages in Fairy Tail share, and the Thunder Legion understands this.

But they trust him, and they trust him to know his limits.

When he stops them from interfering in his fight against Maiden Quartet, they listen. Their trust manifests as standing back while Laxus fights and waiting for a cue, or helping to mitigate the damage his fight causes on their surroundings. Laxus knows that all he needs to do is ask for help, or offer an invitation, and the Thunder Legion will be right there beside him.

Freed knows this, and he rebuts Weyse like so:

“We trust each other. If Laxus is fighting on the front lines, we’ve only got to run in and support him!”

Of course, Weyse twists his words around and hits them where it hurts:

“So what you’re saying is, he steps up to fight because you’re too weak to do it yourselves.” “You’re his bodyguards, aren’t you? Right? But something terrible is bound to happen to your precious Laxus, the way you guard him.”

Laxus fights because they can’t. Because they’re incapable of it. The Thunder Legion is a burden to him, an inconvenience, and holding him back from his true potential. He doesn’t need them, and he knows it; soon enough, they will stop being useful, and Laxus will leave them behind.

That’s what hurts them, that’s what spurs them to fight and protect the illusion of Laxus with everything they have—not just the concept of being weak, but the idea of being unneeded and abandoned by the person they care for the most.

“Laxus always steps up to fight…because we’re so weak!” “Even though we go around callin’ ourselves his bodyguards!!” “We’re just holding Laxus back!”

Unbeknownst to the Thunder Legion, though, Laxus has been going through his own development during Lightning Gods—namely, discovering just what kind of strength he can bring to his family in order to make them feel safe and protected.

When Laxus and the Thunder Legion join Blue Pegasus, they are confronted with a very different guild experience, in terms of jobs and the people around them. Being a Blue Pegasus member requires a different set of skills and strengths than Fairy Tail members are used to, and Laxus specifically has a difficult time adjusting. But as he’s floundering, he can see the Thunder Legion fitting in with the guild and taking to their tasks with ease.

“I don’t know…but you three are doing great.” “But I just recall how…Fairy Tail was full of people who’d understand me, even just through our fists and fights.”

This is played somewhat for comedy, as the Thunder Legion find Laxus’s awkwardness endearing. But Laxus is genuinely having a hard time wrapping his head around the way the guild operates and adjusting to it. More than that, he’s utterly baffled by the idea that someone like Ichiya could be so respected and adored when he is, compared to Laxus and the Thunder Legion, not all that strong or powerful.

He mentions that they shouldn’t go to assist him—since the others respect him so much, he assumes Ichiya must be strong enough to save himself:

“But he’s actually super powerful despite how he acts, right? So just wait for him to come back on his own.”

What others might see as abandonment is Laxus’s idea of trust—putting faith in another person’s ability to handle themselves, and not insulting their strength by rushing in to rescue them.

But the members of Blue Pegasus quickly correct him, bringing up the many weaknesses that Ichiya has that make him vulnerable. Laxus wonders if there’s anything good about him at all, and how someone with so many weaknesses—that are apparently common knowledge—could be so idolized by everyone around them.

Despite his overall reluctance to engage with the situation, Laxus goes to rescue Ichiya, on the basis that they’re from the same guild, and anyone who messes with guild members is an enemy—not because he looks up to Ichiya, something he quite vehemently denies.

In the process of rescuing him, though, Ichiya himself takes a blow from Laxus meant for his captor, and tells Laxus not to fight, “out of respect for his gorgeous face”. Laxus takes this as an insult.

“Is this a joke?! Huh?! We came here to rescue you, because you’d been kidnapped. And now this? Was this some game to you? And you want me to respect your face? You think you can mess with me and I’m just gonna take it?”

In his mind, if Ichiya is so respected, he must have been strong enough to escape this entire time, and waited until the most inopportune moment to do so. He interfered with the rescue attempt, made light of Laxus’s attempt to help, and wasted his time.

However, Ichiya replies:

“This was no game. And no one is messing with you. Thank you for coming to my rescue.” “I honestly didn’t think you four would be the first ones here. Fighting on a joyous day like this…would hardly be the classy thing to do! Let’s go home and open up some champagne.”

Laxus seems surprised by this, and remains in thoughtful silence for a long while, even all the way back to the guild. Ichiya approaches him, and Laxus finally admits:

“So, look. I don’t get you at all. You don’t stand out as some powerful dude…but look how much they all worship you.”

Ichiya responds that it’s because he’s good-looking, much to the irritation of Laxus. However, the Trimen speak up once Ichiya leaves, saying that’s his true strength. The Thunder Legion take the word strength to mean the same kind of power they see in Laxus; an insurmountable might that puts one above other people. Hibiki corrects them:

“He may seem unreliable to you. But…when the moment calls for it, he’ll even use his body to defuse a crisis, even without magic…and isn’t that another kind of strength? That’s our Ichiya. We can feel safe with him.”

It’s not about physical or magical strength. It’s his strength of character that the members of Blue Pegasus are drawn to; they trust that he is the type of person to do everything in his power to keep conflict from breaking out, even if it means bringing harm to something he prides himself on quite highly.

This sticks with Laxus.

When he and the Thunder Legion head out to the village of Rugosa for the request put forth by the priestess Weyse, Laxus wonders to himself just what sort of strength he brings to his family.

After Weyse begs them to help, and speaks rather tearfully about not wanting to lose her home, Laxus is immediately swayed to get serious about her cause. He makes an effort to destroy the Vesper Blockade Mirror, and goes to great lengths to defeat Nasser, whom Laxus believes is trying to destroy his own home—something that Laxus takes very personally, because he [mistakenly] sees his past self in Nasser.

“So your mission is more important than your home? That thought process…makes my blood boil!!”

Nasser asks him why he’s risking his life for this. Says it seems foolish, since this is just another quest for him. Laxus flashes back to the Battle of Fairy Tail.

“I’ve tried to destroy my own family…my guild…before. I thought I was doing it for the guild’s own good. But now I see that was a stupid, immature idea. And I’m pretty sure you’re gonna regret this, too!”

After Nasser’s defeat, the Thunder Legion destroy the Vesper Blockade Mirror, just as Laxus trusted them to do. And the demon God of Nightfall’s true identity is revealed. Nasser shares his side of the story and laments his inexperience, stating that despite being seen by the villagers as an outsider, Rugosa village is his only true home.

Laxus is immediately swayed to his cause, and vows to destroy the God of Nightfall. Nasser reprimands him, saying that it’s too dangerous, but Laxus insists—

“But if we do nothing, your home is gonna get destroyed.” “Look, no apology is ever gonna be enough for what happened. So let me protect your village. I have to…!!”

Nasser relents, and asks for his assistance in defending his home. But not before telling him:

“You lose sight of all around you the moment something important to you is involved, like one’s home or guild.” “Viewed in another light, I suppose some might call you stubbornly honest.”

The two of them rush back to the village to confront the God of Nightfall. Laxus goes to destroy it, but is blocked by the Thunder Legion’s attacks. Weyse reveals that the three of them see Laxus as the God of Nightfall and vice versa—this is quickly reinforced by their words, shouting that they’ll protect Laxus no matter what as they’re attacking him.

Then, of course—Laxus hears what they think. That they’re too weak to stand beside him, they’re holding him back, they can’t even do an adequate job of protecting him.

After snapping them out of the spell with his magic, Laxus tells them exactly how he feels, how he said he felt even in the midst of his fight with Nasser: he trusts them.

“Don’t be stupid, Thunder Legion!” “It’s only because I can trust you to have my back…that I can run forward to fight!”

He doesn’t say, you’re strong enough to stand beside me.

Instead, he tells them, I am only this strong because you’re here. Because you have my back. I could not have done any of this without you. I have faith in your abilities. I can trust you.

To have his back, to look out for him, and more than that, to understand him, when it seems like no one else can.

The three of them gather themselves, and step up to watch Laxus’s back, to assist him in fighting the God of Nightfall.

“It’s alright. The three of us…we will not falter!!” “Strength…weakness…the form it takes doesn’t matter. The desire to protect the people we care about is still the same.”

The God of Nightfall is defeated. Nasser returns to the village, having lost his magical power. The Thunder Legion lament this loss, saying that losing such strength seems like a waste, but Laxus seems to understand—it was worth it, if it means Nasser gets to return to his home.

The four of them leave Rugosa village, talking about Weyse’s betrayal and how impressive Laxus was during their fight. And, finally, they tell him what it is that he wants to hear:

“But you confirmed something for us.” “Thanks to you…we can rely on you and feel safe.”

His dedication to doing what’s right, to protecting other people’s homes and family, led him back to the village when he could have easily left everyone to wait for the Council instead. His strength and quick thinking saved the Thunder Legion from the God of Nightfall’s spell. His stubborn honesty snapped them out of their fear of failing him, of being too weak, of being left behind.

At last, Laxus says that he thinks he’s figured out a little bit about the strength that makes Ichiya so adored.

[britneyshakespeare]

The gaslighting Duke of Vienna

[pekoeboo]

hhh i've had like. no drive to work on any art or writing projects. ;n; my heart is still so invested in the stories and characters I've created, but the motivation to take those feelings and put it into some form of content is next to nil. i don't know why it's been like that but it's kinda sad :c

don't get me wrong - i'm happy with most of the things i've created lately, but it's also been this strange game of doubt and comparison going on in my head when it comes to actually sharing what I make. there are a lot of pieces of art and writing that i just haven't posted because i feel like it's not in a place where it's good enough for anyone other than myself. the idea of editing and actually finishing some projects so that i can make sense of them online is overwhelming even tho i would love to just... get some of those ideas out for anyone who might be interested in hearing about them, you know?

anyway. probably just need to let myself take some kind of break?? idk what that would really entail at this point tho. it's just been a weird mental state that I need to work out i guess.