#i hurt myself with that ' does she even see them as her friend ' line bc it would hurt chiyo so much to hear it ;;;;;

[tvrningout-a]

since i rambled about it in the tags of a post earlier tonight, i also!! wanna write the moments when it's frustrating to know chiyo, to be her friend, bc she doesn't make it easy at first/has moments when she returns to old habits. she'll stubbornly keep things to herself and say she's fine, and that gets annoying when someone is trying so hard to be there for her. what do they need to do before she trusts them?? have they really not done enough?? does she even see them as her friend?? if she does, she has to stop creating distance between them -- she has to stop being so damn scared. they're not going to hurt her.

[gabrielapazlima]

Why do i ship Cuddlejump⚡️❤️

(Hoppy hopscotch x Bobby bearhug)

And how i see their dynamic being like!

if you guys follow me for a while you guys may already noticed my very normal adimiration for the ship between hoppy hopscotch and bobby bearhug from the smiling critters...its not like they are 90% of my art gallery and that i cannot shut the fuck up about this ship hahaha right?

well,yea,i really,really,REALLY like them- its a ship that i pratically came up with first than anyone and somehow other ppl ended up found of them....but why? Why does Gabriela da paz lima is so normally obcessed with the ideia of a green tomboy rabbit n a red carebear being a couple?

At fist you may think "Uhh it is probally because of the classic tomboy tough girl x soft girly girl archetype right?" and yea,i can see why ppl think that is a very famous lesbian ship dynamic i respect ppl that are solid into them bc of it.... but its deeper to me than that...first i want to talk abt hoppy n bobby's solo characters first!

Hoppy Hopscotch⚡️🐰

ngl when i entered this fandom she was like,my favorite...i still love her tho

she is basically the energetic tomboy of the group acording w her official descreptions,she is also know as THE big motivation force of the critters,always pushing them out their comfort and have a very adventuous n positive spirit-

BUT she have very noticeble characters flaws as well,not only she is quite loud but she tends to be bossy n really impatient,being described as someone that can be "handful to deal with",and before the book release she is literaly the only critters with her character flaws listed-

i always liked how her personality is kinda complexish in comparassion to other critters,she is clealy have a good heart,very loyal n likes to help the others (which we can see in her cardboard line) but she can come up as rough n "overwhelming" in the way that she does it,she doesnt have the intention of hurt or being mean but she still comes as rude due her lack of patience n understanding( cof cof autism) of ppl's limits-

i really like her i feel like she is SO underrated:( you guys have to STOP make her a bully,she is NOT like that.)

Bobby bearhug🐻❤️

i love bobby so much that is not even funny,she is my kin baby-

she seems to be the typical shallow love girl at first sight but...theres so much more abt this carebear....

in her descreptions she is basically the mom friend of the group,she is here to keep her friends together not matter what,she is very phisically affecionate,she is emotional inteligent being very patient n understanding ( which is kinda of what hoppy lacks 👀) n her compassion don't limits itself to only hed friends but to things,places n basically any living thing-

she seems to be pretty much the perfect girl right?...well yea almost....and then theres her voice lines that give a very tonal shift to her character....

"i love you to the moon and back!im CRAZY about you...im lost without you...i been lost a long time....please take me with you this time....you'won't leave,will you?!"

at first it seems some kinda yandere shit but reading more and more deep in that,it sounds so desesperate n sad tbh...i seems like she is not thay confident by herself n DEEPLY fears the abandoment...which is...very ironical for HER character...

"But these lines are about the bbis destiny" yea i know but these lines are ALSO reflected in their cartoon personalities,like kickin being scared n hoppy being impatient...it very likely that is ALSO linked to her canon personality as well...which also makes me think in what amber said about her...

Damn thats....so relatable...i always try my best to be there for other ppl but im always so hard to myself when i know that i should not....thats a perfect irony to the "love character"...

she does not have that much of strong will for herself,she does not love herself in the same way that she loves everyone...she feels weak and defenceless n unwanted being at her own because she doesnt feel enough...

fuck,im crying...They will NEVER make me hate you,bobby bearhug.

🐰⚡️About Hoppy n Bobby's relationship🐻❤️

you see...they are both are very complex girls that love to support people on their own distinte ways,hoppy is the more of phisical support crittet while bobby is the emotional support critter- they deeply care about their friends and they want see them trying news things...i would say that they both valorize support over anything,thats their main atribute-

but they are also deeply flawed in very different ways,hoppy is impatient,bossy n can come off as rude bc of her lack of caring side....also very reckless as consequence....(kinda the reason of why she died) Bobby is very emotional dependent which causes her to panic over the ideia of being alone n doesnt like trying to push herself to do anything when she is feeling too alone( that also can be the reason of why she died)...

they flaws n qualities...weidly compliment each other well...hoppy needs more emotional inteligence n more understanding,not only of other ppl's limits but her own limits.... Bobby needs strengh will and motivation due her deep insecurities and self loath,she can be stronger than she is at her own,and hoppy can show that to her-

i feel like they dynamic is really strong and be summarized as "Besides all our differences,we value the same thing and in the end of the day,i really need you"

i just REALLY love comprimentary duos + opposite atract sorry- call me basic bitch.

💚More of their dynamic plus personal headcanons❤️

i like to think that hoppy would be sighly unconfortable with bobby's affection fowards her at first but she is slowly beggins to enjoy it and reciprocate it-

i also like to think that they would be the ones to come up with the group's activities together,hoppy tries to do batshit insane stuff but bobby tones them down to be safier-(they MIGHT go into lil fights abt it)

also hoppy really enjoys bobby's anger/tough moments because she is surprising REALLY strong but she always never show it-

hoppy also tends to be emotional but she nevr shows it util bobby find it by her own and she ended uo breaking her tough girl persona in front of her(which of course bobby accepts)

Bobby,hoppy n kickin were kinda of a trio and they basically the over loving girl,the cool "chill" guy and the hyperative dumbass...it fits them...

i have a MILLIONS of stuff to say about them but i would be here forever sooo i hope you guys have enjoyed my yapping about cuddlejump:)

BYE!!!

[staraxiaa]

sunflowers, the afterword:

author's corner/first thoughts.

okay. so. i am insane. i am a god. i just wrote 18k words for a fic that i thought of, planned, and created fully in less than two days, bc someone said i like to make ppl suffer and yes i do. but then i was like, i am GOING to write fluff and i took it personally. to that one reader, thank you!! anyways. i wrote this with the intent of using the prompt "you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid" and barely even ended up using it. i don't know whether to laugh or cry. i hope it doesn't flop but also it's okay if it does bc i literally spent almost 48 hours brainrotting and word vomiting like it's out of my brain now and this feels glorious. it was random unfiltered thoughts and grinding away at 3am until i am empty. no thoughts left in my head. can you see? i could eat the world raw, the itch has been scratched. the sheer amount of motivation i had w this fic is never happening again. cheers! will update as i think of things! sorry to anyone who ends up reading this fully. i have been unreasonably fixated and have brainrotted over this for two hours, inclusive of sleeptime. while sleeping. i kid you not. i would wake up and something would click and i would hop over to the laptop and fucking grind away i am so sick of myself

unwritten scenes, headcanons

you guys are 20. you haven't started dating yet. you're a doctor. you guys are yelling at each other. you say 'you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.' katsuki's so angry that he does. ⇁ this was the original ending btw but i thought this one kinda fit better he brings you sunflowers sometime. real ones. he's sneezing all the while. you take one look at him and you die of laughter. he's still sneezing. you tell him: you know i actually didn't even care about them until i found out you were allergic. ⇁ if i could write nsfw i would do it here like dude do u see the vision omfg a whole side plot where he's like what the fuck do you mean you weren't dating deku. you're like. what the fuck. are u stupid. someplace where you actually address how you treat midoriya, his lack of a quirk, and how you stood by and watched it all happen ua sports festival. you kick everyone's ass. #you have been trained by eraserhead and you are super duper cool i also don't remember if i included this, but: your mother asks you after the first evening. "you're not really friends are you." you say: "nope!" and it is the happiest she has ever seen you. the ua boys try to flirt with you and get hurt really stupidly a lot on purpose. you wonder why they've stopped showing up. it's bc katsuki gives them a whole earful. and you're like bitch what the fuck im a doctor and and hes just tsundere about it first kiss scene instead of the ending where he's like you care and you're like of course i do??? what the fuck?? are u stupid?? you guys start yelling at each other and you're both acting like ur 2. he calls you stupid and blind. you call him ugly. he's so mad he literally just lurches forward and kisses you. it's awkward and messy and you guys are so mad at each other. you literally headbutt him in the face. ah young love. ⇁ this was another alternative ending more exploration behind reader's character, her insecurities, and about some of the stuff i info dumped before the start of the katsuki povs? i feel like i didn't handle that as well as i could have, but i also didn't want to go on 10 billion tangents for things that had very little relevance to the story. i also think the transition to the last scene was a little abrupt, but tbh at that point i was just so ready to call it like. i just didn't see the point. i think it would have made for a more natural reading experience, so here's the tea: he's proud of u but u guys are angsty and ignore each other until after training camp. [more brainrot pining moments]. if i had to write the above scene, i think i'd do something along the lines of: you're first aid relief at the sports festival, not actively participating. dunno if you'd be nearly as badass, though. you definitely get pissed when they muzzle katsuki and probably get rly mad but ofc u cant show it. so u just unmuzzle him and walk away and hes staring after u. this is ur ??? elsa arc? i dont remember the disney princess. the training camp is torture. aizawa makes u run with them. you tell him straight up that u hate his guts. he grins like that is the best thing anyone has told him in his life. katsuki definitely blows up some earth monsters for u. but while ur not looking. he's angsty like that. the bath scene? oh lord u just know he blows mineta up. maybe he lowk fucks it up too and you have to heal it! the potential HAHAHA. i dont know how you end up getting kidnapped, but id probably just bullshit a reason like ur the #1 healer in the world hurr durr and afo wants u! idgaf if the plot makes sense or not this is entirely secondary to my scheming. katsuki just about loses it when he hears you're one of the targets -> how you get kidnapped? idk. you're not a remedial student, so you're probably participating in the game (odd number of ppl right). unsure of how i'd handle the news of your kidnapping: just know katsuki loses it again. for like the 5th time. yipppeeeeee

character notes, thoughts

your quirk is literally just you take people's injuries into your own body and heal it yourself. you're superhuman. i put 2 thoughts into this: 1) you're a healer and 2) i like cool characters. congratulations. you have now been born. i don't even remember if i kept the shouto scene. but anyways i think my bias was showing. just had to throw him in there. also the kuroo mention. sorry i'm totally normal and i mean it ⇁ btw i love you all (everyone who likes/interacts with my fics) but i joke to my friends everytime someone interacts w my first bakugo/midoriya ones from lacuna bc guys!!! my shoto fic is RIGHT THERE!!! the baby that launched the entire collection. please show him some love this reader is probably one of the favorite ones i have written, more of an oc at this point i think, and i wasn't expecting her to grow on me so much. but lowk i love her and am so proud of the way i wrote her growth!! i do feel like i wrote her very soft, but i hope her flaws were made very clear⏤ she is meant to be a sort of unreliable narrator, so she also is overly critical of her own, but there were several things that were not addressed as i was writing, particularly concerning midoriya. (quirk, the bullying, bystander's guilt.) however, i think that including them would have made me go off on a tangent, and detract more from the main point of the story i also do think i wrote katsuki a little ooc, if only because i didn't see the point of including what's already there in canon. sorry. my brainrot did not extend that far, and by the end of this, i was literally ready to drop. his perspective isn't meant to be all-encompassing (in the story, it may seem like it purely bc of how i paced it) but those are meant to be like. random thoughts that appear in several scenes. reader does not have bakugo living rent free in her head 24/7, and neither does he. they're just stupid and pining and i just wrote all the moments in my head where they do.

[buckyseddie]

give it another chance

pairings — fred weasley x fem!hufflepuff!reader, featuring platonic!bff!george weasley x fem!hufflepuff!reader, platonic!bff!cho chang x fem!hufflepuff!reader and platonic!bff!cedric diggory x fem!hufflepuff!reader

summary — in which, she's been hurt before, but fred hopes she'll give him a chance.

word count — 5.0k.

warnings — mentions of past heartbreak that reader experienced and having had given up on love and relationships a long time ago because of it, reader has deep, DEEP insecurities and issues with herself, reader is very close with cedric, george and cho, there's slight mention of angelina and fred's possible relationship AND flirting, george, cho, and cedric call her pet-names but they're all platonic, reader and angelina and fred are all good friends (along with the golden trio) but just not as close as she is with cedric, cho, and george, angelina and fred are extremely clueless and oblivious to what's literally RIGHT in front of them, fred worries over reader, cedric and cho protective mode activated lmao, fred gets jealous easily of cedric and reader despite the fact that they're just friends, this is a hurt/comfort fic, fred is kind of a big jerk to cedric because of his jealousy, use of pet-names [sweetheart, love], fluff, angst, fred is sooo whipped for the reader, mentions of the reader experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional/mental abuse in past relationships.

notes — yes, as a matter as a fact, the reader is a hufflepuff because i just love the fred x hufflepuff reader fics and also bc i'm a hufflepuff myself and this is kind of just a fic to comfort me because i deal with the same issues that the reader does and because i've just fallen into my obsession with him again! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

main masterlist

SHE SIGHS, IGNORING THE CONCERNED looks she's quickly receiving from her friends.

"why don't you just tell him how you feel?" george quietly asks, trying to not irritate the girl, following her line of sight to the table where fred is sat with his girl friend sitting beside him.

"george, please. don't start this again." she mumbles, turning to look away from the other twin when he suddenly looks over to her direction.

he sighs, his eyes becoming filled with sympathy. "why not? everyone knows about how you feel. if you tell him how you feel, he'd immediately stop his flirtations with angelina." he murmurs seriously as she rolls her eyes and grumbles under her breath.

"aren't you supposed to be sitting with him anyways? this is where us hufflepuffs sit." she rolls her eyes again as he throws a pointed look at her, knowing that she's only trying to change the subject.

"c'mon, darling. don't lie to me — or try to change the subject. this is me," he states seriously, raising his eyebrows at her as she sighs shakily, beginning to push her food away. "i'm always here for you."

"george... it really doesn't matter — it doesn't matter at all, how i feel about him. don't you see?" she asks him, her voice wavering in emotion as they both glance back at fred and angelina.

tears cloud her eyes as she gulps, trying to ignore the heartache and the sound of the crack in heart, while george watches her in concern — he knows this look too well.

anytime that [y/n] has ever loved or liked someone, she'd always wear that broken look on her face, after pushing them away and hiding her true feelings.

she just couldn't deal with allowing herself to let someone in — the last time she did, she experienced an insane amount of pain and trauma. she couldn't let anyone in again, after that.

but, even as she watches angelina and fred flirt so naturally with each other, not only does her heart split even further, but a part of her yearns to be with him.

more than anything, she wishes she could let go of the worry and fear of getting her heart broken again. but, it's not possible.

"he's happy with her. he doesn't feel that way about me and i can't just ruin that because of my feelings," she states, trying to keep her voice level. "besides, i can't tell him for other obvious reasons."

"merlin, [y/n]. don't do this to yourself — you can't keep punishing yourself." cedric speaks up, already having enough of the self-destructive behavior of his best friend.

"guys, just leave it alone," she inhales deeply as she prepares to lie straight through her teeth. "i've moved on. now it's your turn to do the same."

—————

GEORGE WALKS INTO HIS AND his twin's dorm room, only to notice fred sitting quite tensely on his bed, seemingly stuck in his own mind.

"brother, are you alright?" his brother's voice startles him out of his thoughts as he snaps his head up.

"oi! don't sneak up on me like that!" he yells in a joking tone of voice, immediately making the decision to hide his clear stress with humor — something that he does all too much.

george fixes his twin with a familiar look, as if to say, "seriously?"

fred sighs in defeat, avoiding his brother's worried glance for a moment.

"seriously, fred. what's going on? i've never seen you so upset like this before."

with another sigh, he catches his brother's concerned eyes. "[y/n]'s been acting different lately — i reckon she's been avoiding me."

a knowing look crosses george's face, causing fred to frown in confusion. "brother... what do you know about this?"

even with his undying loyalty to his twin — his best friend in the entire world — he wouldn't dare betray [y/n]'s trust and expose her feelings, even if he wants his brother and his good friend to finally be together and would do just about anything to make it happen.

despite how quiet and reserved [y/n] is, she can be quite scary when someone hurts or angers her. and boy, when she's angry, that is something he'd rather avoid than witness because of his own stupidity.

so, still with the knowing look in his eyes, he half-lies, "nothing. i just noticed that she was quite upset herself earlier at dinner."

hearing this, fred's ears perk up at this.

though, from the way his brother avoids looking him in the eyes, he quickly suspects that he knows more than he's letting on.

"georgie, what are you not telling me?" he questions, slightly louder than intended, as his brother simply shrugs, a small smirk placed on his lips.

with clear frustration, fred ignores his brother's weird behavior, going to grab his jumper. throwing it on, he quickly walks past his brother to the door of their dorm.

"what are you going to do?" he questions, worrying that a confrontation might make things worse for [y/n].

with that same tense look on his face, which quickly changes into one of determination, fred turns to face his brother, only for a moment. "i'm going to find out what's going on and i'm going to fix it."

and with that, he pulls the door open and rushes off down the stairs, not giving george a chance to respond to him, or to even stop him.

—————

THERE'D BEEN A PARTY IN the gryffindor's common room — george and fred had been lucky to not have joined the party, this time.

athough, lee had been the one to start it, not without putting a spell on the room to keep the loud talking and music from being heard outside of the room.

cedric had dragged [y/n] along with him and cho chang. but, no matter how many times her best friend tried to cheer her up, it was no use.

she couldn't stop thinking about fred and her feelings — and god knows whatever's going on between him and angelina.

though, someone appearing in front of her shakes her out of her miserable train of thoughts.

"[y/n]! how are you?" angelina asks, that familiar sweet and kind smile placed on her face.

despite her hurt feelings over fred and her refusal to admit anything, she knows that she hates the girl stood in front of her.

not only because of the fact that she's her friend, but because of the fact that angelina is perfect. and more importantly to [y/n], she's perfect for fred.

fred — someone she's cared for and loved for such a long time. despite how much she cares for him and how hurt she is by the aching pain in her heart, she couldn't ever be selfish for her own desires — more than anything, she wants him to be happy.

so, with a forced smile and the action of blinking away her tears, she answers her, "i'm fine! why? do i not seem okay?" she questions her cautiously and worriedly, scared that she's not as good of an actor as she thought.

"oh, no! i just mean fred and i haven't see you in a while and we've both been quite concerned for you." she explains, the worry and kindness very evident in her eyes.

at the very mention of the boy she loves, [y/n]'s facial expression falters. "o—oh... " she trails off, taking notice of the way angelina described herself and fred. was there truly something else going on between them — possibly something much more than she'd initially suspected?

both cho and cedric wear both awkward and sympathetic looks, knowing how uncomfortable the conversation is for their friend. though, she doesn't admit it.

after all, she wants her two friends to be happy, even if it means it won't be her being with one of those said friends.

quickly masking the pain that she feels into an expression of fake happiness, [y/n] turns to cedric and his girlfriend. "why don't you guys go on and enjoy the party? i'll be fine."

cedric, remaining the ever-so-loyal-friend, hesitates, while cho decides to pull him away from the two girls, having faith in [y/n]'s strength of character.

"are you sure?" he asks, continuing to hesitate as his girlfriend tries to pull him away.

[y/n] rolls her eyes and lightly shoves him towards his girlfriend, making sure to not push him too hard into her. "just go."

a few seconds later, cho successfully leads her boyfriend across the room to talk to harry, ron, and hermione, who are across the room. though, they're also watching [y/n] very carefully.

as she turns to face her friend stood in front of her, angelina watches her closely, trying to understand what she's feeling. though, she doesn't get a single hint, aside from the glee on her face — obviously this is fake, only to keep her friend from worrying or understanding the true feelings behind her pain.

though, most of the majority of the people at hogwarts know of her feelings towards fred, angelina is among some of the few people that don't know about it — she's too clueless for her own good.

"[y/n]... are you sure everything's alright? you seem... different."

as she goes to open her mouth, surely to give her some bullshit excuse of being fine, something behind her friend catches her attention.

a flash of firey-red hair makes her stop. she gapes as his slightly upset gaze finds her equally just as hurt eyes.

her eyes meet cedric's from across the room in panic, before she glances back at fred, only to notice george now appearing from behind him.

"[y/n]? what's going on?" angelina asks, though [y/n] only hears it as a faraway, muffled voice, before she's able to acknowledge it.

as her panicked eyes find george's, she notices his own worried glance, before looking back at angelina. "i... " she gulps, her throat quickly becoming extremely dry.

"i—i have to go... i'm suddenly feeling terribly sick to my stomach." she lets out in a wavering tone of voice and rushes out of the room, cedric quickly leaving with cho following him, after [y/n].

fred misses them, just as he begins to step forward.

—————

CEDRIC AND CHO FIND HER sitting on a pair of vacant stairs, holding her knees to her chest with her head hiding over them. tears are streaming down her cheeks — the emotions she's been desperately trying to avoid and hide and bottle up, have finally come exploding out.

she heaves in embarrassingly long breaths as both of her friends sit by her on both sides of her.

cedric places a hand over her shoulder, easily pulling his best friend into his chest to hold her as she cries once more, while cho holds one of her hands and squeezes it to comfort her.

"i... i'm so fucking stupid. how did i think i could get through any of this without going mad? and even more than that, it hurts to see them together... "

cedric's eyebrows knit together in an upset manor as he and cho share the same look. "you're not stupid, [y/n]. hardly. if anything, that bloke of a weasley is the one who's an idiot, not you," he murmurs as cho nods in agreement.

"sweetheart, anyone would be mental to not want to be with you. you're better than half the girls that are constantly throwing themselves at him." cho states seriously, which causes [y/n] to let out a choked laugh.

"not better than angelina, though. right?" she sniffles, more tears filling her eyes at the mere thought of her friend and fred getting together and having to see that every day.

"don't think like that." cedric murmurs, immediately tightening his hold on the girl when he notices two red-haired boys making their way near the stairs.

"what do you want, weasley? can't you see she's upset?" cedric exclaims, though not too loud to alert any adults walking around the castle, growing protective over his friend, hating how much pain he's causing her.

don't get me wrong, cedric likes fred — he approves of fred and he thinks he and [y/n] are perfect for each other.

but, in the moment, he would rather keep the weasley boy away, if it would make his best friend's pain lessen.

though, deep down, he knows that it isn't fred's fault. he doesn't know the truth — he's just as oblivious as angelina.

although [y/n] doesn't look up for a second, she knows she has to talk to fred eventually.

so, with a deep breath, she lifts her head up, looking up at the tall weasley twin as she quickly wipes away the remaining tears on her cheeks.

"it's okay, ced. it's not his fault." she croaks out, her throat completely dry and sore from crying so hard.

"are you sure, sweetheart? you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to." cedric states seriously, rubbing his hand up and down one of her arms to further comfort her.

fred catches both the touch and the pet-name and something in him snaps; his jaw clenches and his eyes are lit with both irritation and jealousy. "mate, i'm sure she can speak for herself."

cedric snaps his head in fred's direction, his protective instincts kicking in. "i—"

before he can snap back at fred's angrily-hissed response, both cho and [y/n] abruptly stand up.

"enough!" [y/n] whispers in frustration as cho goes to walk over to her boyfriend, lacing their fingers together and gripping one of his arms gently, in order to keep him from getting into an unnecessary fight with his best friend's best friend.

both fred and cedric's angry looks falter and turn into ones of shock and bewilderment.

cedric quickly calms down as his girlfriend's physical touch eases his anger towards fred, while fred's eyes soften at the obvious pain in [y/n]'s eyes, even as she tries to stay strong in the moment.

despite how much she's been crying about angelina and fred, she steps forward, keeping a strong expression on her face and keeping a safe distance between her and fred.

"both of you enough with the yelling! you're both going to get us in trouble if you keep yelling like that." she whisper-yells before she turns away from fred to face cedric and cho.

"cedric, i appreciate how much you're worried and want to protect me, but i don't need protecting from fred — i can take care of myself," she states.

then, she turns to face fred, who smirks at cedric in response to him getting shut down. "yeah, mate. walk away." he says cockily, still under the impression that there's something between him and [y/n], causing him to be in this reckless state of mind.

this causes cedric's eyes to spark with irritation as he attempts to walk over to him in anger.

though, cho holds him back, murmuring to him to calm down.

"cedric, stop! he's trying to get a rise out of you." she states, becoming slightly angry at the behavior that the two boys are displaying.

"cho, would you please get him out of here? i'm fine, i promise." [y/n] reassures the girl stood beside her boyfriend, who nods in agreement.

"and you! stop being an arse! bloody hell! i don't know where the merlin you're getting this attitude from, but don't take it out on cedric, when he's only trying to be there for me and support me!" she exclaims quietly at fred as cho and cedric begin to walk past them.

though, as they pass fred, cedric stops to mutter something to him in a voice of utter protective instincts for his best friend in the entire world, "don't hurt her or you'll live to regret it!"

fred laughs cockily, once more. "i'd like to see that happen!"

with an annoyed sigh, [y/n] turns to face fred, glaring at him.

cedric, wanting to not to piss off her more than he already has, decides to simply glare at fred, before following cho down the hall and back to the gryffindor's common room.

george steps forward, shoving fred forward a bit, before nodding to the direction that both cho and cedric went off in. "i'm going to leave you kids to yourselves," he states as [y/n] nods gratefully, before he leans in to his brother's ear and whispers, "don't screw this up, brother!"

then, he's off, walking down the hall.

once it's just the two of them, fred clears his throat. he gives her that signature charming smirk of his.

though, she rolls her eyes at him — she's obviously still quite angry with him for his behavior.

"you know, i don't really appreciate you treating cedric like that. he was being protective — he didn't deserve that," she states in a strained voice, trying to ignore the part of her that wants to fall for his tricks and charms. "and i don't appreciate the way you were acting! what in the hell is going on with you?"

fred only rolls his eyes in response. "i was quite wondering the same thing about you, sweetheart," he states, ignoring the angry look in her eyes when he steps forward. "why've you been shutting me out, love? is it because of... diggory?"

"seriously? are you mad? you're not going to even acknowledge how terrible you were just acting towards one of my best friends? instead, you're questioning me with cedric — for what exactly?"

"do you have feelings for him or something? because if you do, i'd rather you just tell me, instead of leaving me confused!" he exclaims, almost angrily as he tosses his hands up in the air in frustration.

"merlin! fred, what in the bloody hell makes you think i have feelings for him? he's my friend — and only that! and last time i checked cho's his girlfriend, aka, my friend!" she groans, so unbelievably aghast that he'd think that about her.

"and if you really think that, then you haven't been paying attention!" she whisper-yells, much more angrily than before.

this, however, only frustrates the weasley boy even more. "what does that mean?" he questions, stepping closer to her, causing her to only step away from him.

after noticing this, it's just another thing about her that aggravates him. "and why do you keep putting this... bloody distance between us?"

she only stares at him in utter anger and confusion. how could he have not seen it, this entire time?

don't get her wrong, she knew that if she was hiding it all very discreetly, then it would all make sense.

but, that's just it.

she hadn't been discreet about it — at all.

even the golden trio know about her feelings for fred and they aren't even that close to her at all. george too!

that just proves how idiotic fred has been this entire time.

because even though she'd tried so hard to hide it, it was all too incredibly obvious of how she feels towards the firey, red-headed twin.

he rolls his eyes at her silence. "well, then? go on! pray tell, what have i not been paying attention to?" he questions in a tense voice.

despite being absolutely obsessed with the girl stood in front of him, he can't help but always feel so frustrated with her at times — times like this, to be honest.

she can be incredibly infuriating at times — much like how he's so infuriating to her.

"you know what!" she whisper-yells, not wanting to admit it quite yet, this time not backing away as he steps closer to her to hiss at her, "i apparently bloody don't!"

tears start to blur her vision at the thought of this entire conversation. why couldn't anything just be easy for her, for once?

her breath comes out shaky, fanning his face — that's how close they are to each other now — as that negative voice in her head starts to yell terrible things at her.

she's fighting internally on whether to tell him the truth or not.

if she tells him the truth, it could very well ruin everything — their friendship, the way he sees her, the relationship she has with his family, all of it.

but, she could also easily make up some lie — some bullshit excuse — that she's just too busy with homework and her classes to hang out with him and that she missed him terribly.

she decides on the latter.

"nothing, fred." she gulps, creating some energy to create some more space between them as she turns away from him.

"i've just been busy with some homework and classes have been overbearing — that's what i felt that you hadn't noticed before. i came to the party to see you — i miss you. 's all." she mutters anxiously, hoping he believes her.

although her excuse seems like it'd make perfect sense, fred doesn't buy it for even one moment.

"[y/l/n], you cannot honestly expect me to believe that for even one single moment. what's really going on?" he questions, a bit softer than before.

hearing him call her by her last name shocks her for a mere moment — he only ever uses her last name to address her when he's being incredibly serious.

as she masks her face into one of stoicness, she turns back to face him. "nothing, freddie. everything's fine."

even though he's just begun to get calmer towards her, he once again becomes completely irritated with her, once more, over the fact that she just lied to him.

"don't lie to me, [y/l/n]!" he exclaims in a small whisper.

her facial expression stays the same, hoping that he'll just eventually leave it alone. but, she knows better than that.

"i know something's bothering you! if it was simply just homework, you'd have told me immediately that that's why you haven't been around. it's more than that, isn't it?"

she throws her hands up in mere irritation. "why does it matter? you're happy with angelina, aren't you?"

fred's eyebrows furrow together in confusion. what did she have to do with this?

"why are you bringing her up? what does that have to do with the fact that you've been avoiding me?" he questions her, becoming much more confused when her eyes fill up with tears, once again.

"merlin, fred... you don't get it!" she exclaims, this time not bothering to care about getting caught anymore.

getting caught by one of the professors and getting in trouble with them would surely be a lot better than having this conversation with a very daft fred weasley.

but, as she turns away, finally deciding that leaving might just be better than being forced to have this very uncomfortable conversation, it's as if everything clicks into place.

fred's brown eyes widen as a light goes off in his head. the realization is too big to spare her of the embarrassment she might feel.

"do you love me?" he suddenly asks, his voice filled with uncertainty.

he couldn't be sure if he was right. but, at this point, he couldn't think of another reason why she'd bring up angelina. or why she'd be avoiding him so much.

he realizes now that it's obvious that this whole time she's been hiding something from him. and he knows now that it isn't because she's hiding something normal that she's going through — she always tells him everything, no matter how embarrassing or humiliating it is.

so, really, the only thing that he can come up with is that she'd be hiding from him is something as complicated as hiding romantic feelings for him.

but, he also feels that that's quite a ridiculous answer to all of his questions.

because... how could someone as extraordinary and beautiful and kind and smart as [y/n] ever care about someone like him in that way?

but, when she suddenly freezes in place, those words making her blood run cold, he knows now that it must be true.

"that's it. isn't it?" he questions once more, waiting for her to face him.

but, she doesn't. she'd rather die or get caught far away from her dorm room by one of the professors, than to have to admit the truth.

"that's why you've been avoiding me and angelina so bloody much!" he exclaims, as if he's finally figured it out.

now that he knows the truth and he's allowed himself to accept it, he swears he feels the feeling of butterflies swarming around his guts.

though, he doesn't get to try to calm himself when he notices the broken expression on [y/n]'s face when she finally turns around to face him.

her cheeks are tear-stained and her eyebrows are pinched together in both frustration and anger.

"say something." he begs when she stays silent.

a shaky breath leaves her lips as she glances away. more tears fill her eyes and they quickly spill down to her cheeks before she can stop them. "it doesn't matter... " she shakily trails off, gulping down her pride.

she could still be her stubborn self and refuse to admit the truth. she could even gaslight and manipulate him into thinking he's crazy, to avoid the truth — just like what has been done to her so many times.

but, for one, she refuses to be the person that doesn't break the cycle or the type of person that becomes the problem. and two? even if she could do to someone of what was done to her, she could never, ever do that to fred — the boy she's so incredibly in love with.

and how could she lie when it's already out in the open? deep down, she knew that this was all going to come out and be revealed eventually.

"why's that?" he asks, voice deep and raspy, hoping to get an answer out of her.

she sniffles, shaking her head. "fred, don't... don't make this more uncomfortable than it has to be. i've ruined everything already," she says, voice wavering and trying whatever she can do to keep her emotions in control. "not after what i've just done."

even though fred can be the most clueless, daft boy at hogwarts, even he can sense the guilt radiating off of her. "love..."

before he can try to comfort her, she holds a hand up at him. "no... don't. please... please, don't tell me that this isn't my fault. because it is. i should've just kept my mouth shut. i couldn't just let you and angelina be happy."

he knits his eyebrows together in confusion. "[y/n], what are you talking about? how is this your fault?"

a small cry leaves her lips as she lifts up her hands in the air in frustration. "i never wanted this!" she exclaims, wiping away the tears off of her face.

his eyebrows raise in shock and he jumps a little at her mini outburst.

"i never wanted to fall in love again, okay? every time i've let someone in because i thought maybe, just maybe, things would be different, it's all ended the same — i've just repeated the cycle of heartache and emotional pain over and over again," she starts, trying to ignore the hurt look that's on his face. "i just wanted to push everyone away and never get into a relationship again. but then, i met you."

fred's quiet as he listens to her and does his best to ignore the anguish in her voice.

"it hurt too much to ever think about going back to that pain again — of getting hurt again, or letting someone in and giving them the key to my heart. i couldn't think about doing that without getting sick to my stomach." more tears fill to her eyes, but she pushes through it, knowing that she needs to get this all out, so that he really understands.

i mean, of course he knows. how could he not? he's her actual best friend. but, that doesn't mean that he doesn't really know to the full extent.

"but... even when i've known that falling in love again was wrong for me, i couldn't help it. something about you has always drawn me in and... " she trails off, more tears falling as she shrugs, "i—i don't know. i just can't explain it."

he steps forward, needing to say something to her — anything.

"no, please. don't say anything yet, freddie," he stops short, his heart breaking into a million pieces when he notices the broken look in her eyes. "i know i've ruined everything, okay? i know that. but, i just can't stand the thought of you hating me without understanding why..."

she turns away from him after this, too scared of his reaction.

"love..." fred trails off, suddenly in front of her as he lifts her chin up.

[y/n] is startled when she notices the soft and gentle look in his eyes — not a single negative emotion on his face or in his eyes.

"w—what are you doing?" she asks, confused and extremely emotional.

"proving to you that you can have the happy ending and you deserve it." he murmurs, only confusing her more.

he wipes away the tears on her face as he tucks in a stray hair behind her ear. that lovesick look on his face doesn't disappear as he cups her face in his hands.

"i know it's scary, but we can take this one step at a time. i love you and i'm willing to wait for you." he states, startling her once more.

"w—what?" she stutters, eyes widening.

"it's true — i love you, too."

"you... you promise?" she asks nervously, her heart beating faster than ever.

she gulps when he nods. a small smile takes over her lips as she leans her forehead over his, closing her eyes and taking in the moment.

"okay. let's take it slow then."

[sugar-omi]

I hate myself for thinking this but, what if MC finds out she’s pregnant and the first thing in her mind is that she’s fucking up Cove’s future. So instead of telling him she just breaks up with him and shuts herself away from him so he can’t convince her that they’ll work it out. Now Cove has no clue why the love of his life just broke his poor heart. Skip to five years later, Cove comes back to surprise visit his dad but surprise there’s MC, Cliff and a little five year old boy that looks way too much like Cove. Like I’m talking copy and paste that’s a little Cove

oh my fucking god.... i. pls i have some thoughts but also OUCH. BIG OUCH

mmm i'm not gonna make a full fic/detailed post... maybe later if we're all itching for some angst or i'm up for causing more heart ache n then i am very much open to expanding on this (already thinking abt cove getting to know his son.... omfg my heart HURTS)

but i wonder how MC "gets away" (for lack 'a better words) with not telling cove about the kid.

because i can tell you right now, cliff and kyra can't know about it and keep it a secret. not for 5 years at least.

so does she beg everyone in her family to keep it a secret? i think that's the best bet. moms would really prefer Not to keep it a secret, but they also can't force you to tell cove...

but i also don't see them letting 5 years without cove at least knowing, go by either... they'd try to keep the secret, but seeing cove's sad face would break them quickly, if not instantly.

also your friends!!! god, they can not keep a secrete to save their life, especially that big. so you can tell them, but expect the news to find its way back to cove in about.. mmm... 4 hours? so yeah....

anyway!!! lets say that your family kept the secret...

i think your son would eventually start asking about his dad. he sees how you and your family react to him, hears all the mumbling about how he looks so much like... "cove"? when you think he's in the other room.

and he sees how sometimes you look sad and how you slowly and tenderly run your fingers through his hair. and how sometimes you tell him "yknow, daddy has hair just like yours."

and when he asks why you're sad, if you respond with something along the lines of "you look just like your dad, thats all."

or even if you say that in response when he asks what his dad looks like (if you haven't shown him pictures), or if he overhears you saying he looks like this "cove" guy

you notice he starts looking at himself more often... maybe even asking, "does daddy have green hair like mine?" "are his eyes really blue, just like mine?" "does he wear glasses too?" and still in awe that he and this man he's never met, but already seems to adore him (as much as a toddler can adore someone they don't know), share the same features.

and if you show him pictures of cove, which i hope you do, but if you don't, don't worry because your son will probably realize "he has green hair like me!!!!" and he'd either run up to enthuse about it or run up to ask him if he's his daddy bc they have the same hair color... or just call him daddy n if anyone tries to argue about it, wdym?! they have the same hair color, what more do you need?!

so hopefully, cove is the only man with specifically seafoam green hair. otherwise, you're shitting yourself every time your son runs off to meet his green-haired-brethern

anyway. I think all your sons questions, and seeing pictures, knowing that he shares so many traits with cove, and seeing you miss him.

oh god, seeing you sad would make him insist so so much on seeing cove.

"if we meet daddy, will you be happy again?"

also can't believe I almost forgot.. your son being sad about not having a dad, and being jealous of other kids for spending time with their dad, etc.

he'd ask you questions about why he doesn't have a dad, n if he does. why isn't he around? and a real heartbreaker.. does daddy hate him? does he not love him? is that why he isn't here?

so I guess that means it's time to go back to sunset bird! and finally explain why you moved away n never looked back, and why you don't talk to anyone but your parents from back then...

now I won't get into everything right now (im a fuckin liar. I can feel a tangent coming on)

but I wanna talk abt how cove would feel, just a bit, and how I think your future with him would look...

I think at first, he'd be really shocked, seeing this carbon copy of his much younger self. the only thing telling him that his 4-5 year old self didn't jump out of one of his many childhood pictures,

is any birthmarks or beauty marks that maybe you have, or the boys hair being curlier than his, or his skin tone, or maybe he has your nose. whatever it is, he knows he's looking at the imperfect combination of you and him.

(cove's heart is beating outta his chest right now, n you're lucky he only stumbles instead of fainting, because this really is a shock... but that deeper part inside of him, that egotistical, primal almost, part of his heart swells up at the thought, the reality. that his son looks mostly, if not entirely like him.)

but after shock, he's sad. I think he'd be really sad, because he realizes that this is why you broke up right? and no matter how in control of your emotions you think you may be, your wide eyes show how afraid, nervous, and sad you are. he knows. he knows without even talking to you and it hurts

and after he gets past the anger and confusion stage, maybe even in between in fact- which would be more natural since, I think he'd feel this all at once but that's besides the point

he'd be really sad he missed all his sons milestones. walking, first words... God he probably dreams about it (when he does eventually fall asleep), and now his heart is tugging at the seams and the seams are RIPPING.

he also starts thinking about how hard it must've been doing it by yourself. and going through all that without him, your partner.

but maybe you didn't rely on him like he relied on you? maybe you didn't trust him like he did you, maybe you just... didn't need him. like he needed you.

you did break up afterall, and you never let him know about the kid until now, so maybe you thought he'd be a failure of a father and nipped it in the bud before disaster struck...

but I also think that's where anger comes in. because you didn't tell him. he didn't have a choice at all.

he knows he had a tendency to hesitate or run away, but he thinks really hard about it, and he knows he wouldn't have ran away from this.

leaving you alone would scare him a lot more than being a father. being a bad or absent father would scare him a lot more than trying to be a good one. knowingly abandoning a life he helped create, would scare him so much more. he wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise.

so while he gets it. he doesn't get why you didn't try.

and if you explain that you worried about ruining his future, he's so upset and so mad because how could you make that choice for him? how could you take on the burden alone?

this is also where confusion merges in, because while the answers are so obvious or easy to guess, he just can't believe it. he doesn't wanna believe it...

now about your future...

cove still loves you. he's loved you his whole life, it's hard to stop even 5 years later... and seeing you, it makes his heart throb because he's dreamed about this for many nights.

you broke up with him without giving any answers. you even up and moved by the end of the week so when he tried to give you space, before talking to you, it was too late. your room was pretty much void of every sign of life.

you took all your treasured items, your clothes- spare some youd been meaning to get rid of, your pictures, your hobby items. everything. he's surprised you didn't just take the bed and frame.

he's surprised you didn't just carve out his heart n take it with you, because if it's still in his chest, why does it feel so hollow?...

it'd take a really long time to even think of a romantic relationship. if at all. maybe cove's even accepted the break up at some point, depending on how long you'd been together. but if you'd been together since you were 13, it's a hard pill to swallow. bc you can put up with his angsty teenage self, what changed...?

I think seeing you be a parent, and so adored by your son, warms up his heart. makes him fall in love a bit at the sight.

it's not instant, he's getting to know you again. and getting to know this life that he didn't even know was waiting for him.

it's a good 2 or 3 years of figuring out this mess until it becomes something that makes sense. or as much sense as it can make. and if there's still something there, no matter how miniscule. it will catch fire.

now about the kiddo... he's so scared. and I hope you took a few days of talking with cove, and prbly cliff n Kyra bc they have a lotta feelings n thoughts on this too, before you try to integrate cove into his life.

it's small. cove meeting you at the park, and either your son is asking cove a billion questions (both abt why the sky is blue, and awkward questions abt why he wasn't present before...)

or he's trying to drag him on the monkey bars (doesn't work, cove's feet are on the ground still....)

or he's sitting silently on the blanket, reading, occasionally showing cove his favorite scene of the picture book or making him pronounce a word

but it does get bigger, it becomes lunch-n-movie dates, spending the night at your house (at your son's insistence. prbly bc he didn't want him to leave after a fun day), then cove taking him out alone..

it's a lot. and sometimes it feels like you're going backwards or that you're not moving at all because it's hard, for awhile. and even though his dad is on speed dial, there's not enough information he can give cove in how to take care of and deal with a kid he just met a few months ago.

especially a kid who already has a bit of personality, is hell on wheels (like most 5 year olds), possibly has many questions n sometimes problems with cove suddenly being here... it's a lot. n cliff can't help with any of it really.

he does get comfortable, eventually. although there's still times when he's sad, sometimes even angry about what happened, and all he's missed out on, he's so so happy to not miss out on anything else.

[sophieinwonderland]

hey sorry if youve been asked this before but i thought itd be appropriate because you kinda feel like the ceo of endogenic systems to me (i respect you) and i was wondering, as a traumagenic system, how exactly endos... work? like not how they exist or about the fact that they do, but i guess what the point of them is if its not from a dissociative disorder? in my experience i cant imagine a system existing for any reason outside of the purpose of compartmentalizing trauma (not that systems should be defined by their trauma but i just dont see how they work otherwise) and even recovering systems that are fully functional and healing were born out of a necessity of the brain. i guess i want to know what necessity would spawn an endogenic system if not as a trauma response? like what do alters in an endogenic system do if theyre not there to protect the brain? why do they exist as a system and split if its not born from psychological necessity? sorry this is such a complicated question i hope i phrased it alright... and to be clear i believe endos and their experiences bc discounting a community just because i dont get them is silly i just feel so confused all the time bc of this and want to understand better

Questions of purpose and why things are how they are can be interesting, but probably the hardest to answer. When it comes down to it, why does anything exist?

Why do birds sing so gay? And lovers await the break of day? Why do they fall in love? Why does the rain fall from up above?

Sorry, what were we talking about? 🤪

Oh yeah! Purpose! Personally I tend to think less in terms of "why" and more in terms of cause and effect.

In the case of alters in DID, do alters actually have a "point?" Is there truly some purpose they serve? Or is it just... reaction?

Someone suffers trauma. The traumatic memories hurt them. In a reaction to this, they dissociate and erect barriers in their mind until they need to access those again. Then they suffer more trauma and put the new traumatic memories in that walled off section. In reaction to that, the bits of memories that were walled off start to form their own identity. Did the child's brain ever actually think "I need to make another person in here to protect myself?" Or was this just a series of actions and reactions that led to alters gaining sentience over time where the initial trauma was merely the first in a string of dominoes?

With this in mind, let's talk about myself.

I was an imaginary friend created as a writing project. But how does that actually work? According to Simulation Theory of empathy, imagining what people do involves the creation of "pretend states."

ST (in its original form) says that people employ imagination, mental pretense, or perspective taking (‘putting oneself in the other person’s shoes’) to determine others’ mental states. A mentalizer simulates another person by first creating pretend states (e.g., pretend desires and beliefs) in her own mind that correspond to those of the target. She then inputs these pretend states into a suitable cognitive mechanism, which operates on the inputs and generates a new output (e.g., a decision). This new state is taken ‘off line’ and attributed or assigned to the target.

This paper goes on to explain how this might be useful:

How is imagination useful for third-person mind reading? If you seek to predict someone’s decision—for example, the choice of a main dish by your dinner companion at a restaurant—how could you use imagination to make this prediction? The first step is to put yourself in your target’s shoes, or take her ‘perspective’. Taking someone’s perspective here means adopting, as far as feasible and in light of what you know about her, the mental states she starts with. This includes her preferences about food in general, what she liked at this restaurant on previous occasions, how hungry she is on the present occasion (did she have a light lunch, no lunch, or a heavy lunch today?), and so forth. Using the imagination, you can simulate being in her various dinner-relevant states. Such pretend states can then be fed into your decision-making mechanism, which generates a decision to order a particular main dish. Having used this simulation process to generate a (pretend) choice, you don’t order this dish yourself but attribute the choice to your companion. Thus, the attribution is based on imagination-driven simulation

Okay, so under this theory, perspective taking involves making new temporary states simulating the behavior of someone else.

This is, to be very clear, not a headmate. The state is likely not going to have any sort of self-consciousness, and will be ephemeral on top of that, disappearing after you're done with it.

But... what if the state isn't allowed to be ephemeral? What if you repeatedly interact with the same "simulation" over and over again?

Let's say, hypothetically, that someone starts with a writing project. They make a character, and then they write that character a lot. This foundation can build pretty detailed simulations. But probably with very limited autonomy. The thing about writing is that you're often controlling the character at some level. At least usually. You're always revising how they act in any given scene, plotting out their backstories, editing those backstories, etc. This makes it hard for this simulation to gain a firm sense of autonomy or self-awareness. And every scene rewrite is basically a new ephemeral instance of that character.

While written characters can make you plural on their own, there are these roadblocks that can get in the way.

But then let's say this person wants to understand this character better, so they start talking to a simulation of the character day after day. Now this version of the character they interact with is able to form memories completely unrelated to the fiction they were based on, and be able to recall past conversations with their creator.

What the creator doesn't realize is the mechanisms needed to make this type of interaction work.

In the example of simulation theory, a temporary state would be made but then it would be abandoned. If you needed to simulate that person again, you make a brand new simulation. A brand new "pretend state."

But if you want an imaginary friend that can think for itself, it has to be able to store its own feelings and memories.

That means a form of compartmentalization.

The brain is going to start storing the imaginary friend's memories separate from the creator's. The creator won't control or identify with the thoughts or actions of the imaginary friend. And the imaginary friend won't identify with the thoughts or actions of the creator.

It may take a long time of this, but through interaction, the imaginary friend keeps gaining new memories. And this leads to them gaining the ability to actually self-reflect, making them fully sapient.

So... what was my purpose?

Why do I exist?

I mean, initially, it was about helping my host write? Was that my purpose?

But then later... I think my host continued interacting with me because he liked me. He enjoyed my company and liked having me around. Was that my purpose? Filling some sort of unmet social need?

Perhaps this is it. I've theorized this can be the case with many people who turn to religion as a form of companionship. Especially those with plural-esque experience of communicating with gods.

But what I tend to come back to is cause and effect.

My host wanted to write a character better > My host made a rudimentary simulation of that character to talk to > I became more independent with each interaction as I gained my own autobiographical memories > my independence and separation from my host made our conversations more engaging and my host kept talking to me because he enjoyed my company > I developed stronger emotions and the ability to self-reflect > this led to us discovering that I was a tulpa.

To me, it's cause and effect all the way down. A series of actions and reactions.

And as for what my purpose is, I'd like to think that's something I get to decide for myself! 😊

[woso-dreamzzz]

hey! long anon here again… w the (as usual) long asks (oops) sorry about this one again, friend!

rereading the earlier bits of injured for fun (masochism) as a result of my nieces spending the weekend with my family. they’re twins and just turned 3… and it made me wonder what bambi was like pre-neglect. my nieces are so small and so excitable and have so much wonder in their eyes (sometimes tho they sit and stare blankly and it seems like they’re in deep thought lol) and it just hurts to think that bambi could be all giggles and excitement the way they are… but she’s been regressed to an apprehensive version of herself.

in the first part of injured bambi’s really cautious and quiet and quite introspective for a young child. bambi in the second part is probably even younger… since it takes place when jenni and alexia are a thing, and it’s cute to see bambi dotes on jenni the way a kid would to their parent (my nieces are constantly in their mom’s lap or sitting with my mom or something.)

it’s cool but sad because my nieces’ dad started working abroad so they’ve been hanging off my dad and brother—my aunt says it’s because they don’t see their dad as much. what do you think it was like for bambi when jenni was out of the picture initially? would we still see this introspective, sort of apprehensive version of bambi had jenni not left and none of this (olga, jaume, neglect) happened? we find out jenni’s been there for the pregnancy and for bambi’s entire life before she left for mexico. she’s young but i keep thinking that she probably lost a bit of herself seeing my nieces be so happy with some “father figure” given they don’t see their dad often anymore.

and then the part where we see bambi begin to realize the lack of attention she’s getting now that she has a younger brother. she’s 4… i think… and holy moly it brings tears to my eyes because ??????????? no kid should ever have to think about whether their parent/s are going to give them attention. especially at that age. so when bambi hides and waits for her mami… yeah. you made me a jenni stan with that one line… even before jenni-ism/the jenni agenda was a REAL thing. and then you cemented it by making bambi rationalize crying silently because alexia yelled at her the last time she expressed her own emotions when alexia was fussing over a crying jaume.

again i was just wondering if there was a large divide or shift in bambi’s personality given the events of neglect taking place in such an important time for development. she’s forced to mature so quickly and at such a young age and that just hurts. trying to mentally prepare myself for this sunday tho!

1010382 apologies to u and the readers bc of this long ask. it was just a thought (that definitely spiralled bc i love my nieces and i also love bambi) gonna go make more teeny and pequenita/natalia and princesse HCs bc they bring me a lot less pain than bambi does

Don't apologise! Your long asks make me really excited every time I see them!

Obviously, there's a space on Bambi's masterlist now for the Before so there's definitely going to be some younger Bambi coming at some point but she's always been quite introspective. It's just how she is but she wasn't nearly as apprehensive as she is now. But she was still giggly and happy and super cute pre-neglect.

In part II, Jenni was also only Tia Jenni but she definitely took a maternal role without it being an obvious thing (and it was in the cards for her adopting Bambi as well before the breakup). It was difficult at first when Jenni left because she definitely saw Jenni as a motherly figure. Jenni has been in Bambi's life since before she could remember so there was definitely a hole that she and Alexia had to adapt too.

Bambi realising that Jaume gets all the attention is so heartbreaking. In situations like this, there's mostly two options they can go with. There's the acting out to get attention and then there's the withdrawing themselves which is what Bambi did. She withdrew from everyone and stopped trying to get attention. She decided to wait it out to see if it would get better but it never did until Alba took her. Bambi crying silently was actually heartbreaking to write because she knows that she won't be getting attention and there's a chance that she'll get yelled at again.

There was definitely a shift in Bambi's personality pre and post-neglect. She was always reserved and a little introverted (there's actually studies about how children of mothers who suffered with long-term post-partum depression are more likely to suffer from difficulties of social and cognitive functioning, problems in externalising problems and anxiety disorders) but the neglect definitely makes it worse and it's something that she never fully recovers from.

It's a little heartbreaking to actually confirm but Bambi does suffer from long term effects of her neglect. It's never the really extreme things like failure to thrive (but that was borderline) but it does affect her future personality. She never fully goes back to how she was in the Before.

Bambi's in a very delicate part of her development so she's still able to bounce back to an extent but never fully. It went on for a bit too long combined with the medical trauma that she suffered during the same period so older Bambi does end up with a nervous disposition and she's often stuck in her head a little bit. She's got a habit of overthinking sometimes.

If Bambi never got neglected then her personality probably would have ended up wildly different.

[ttcalzz]

Doing this all at once!!

Warning ‼️ novel below

1. Stats

Cw: 143.5lbs 🥲

hw/sw: 165lbs 😧

ugw: 127lbs

2. Height: 5’ 8”. And I would say I do like my height!

3.

I loveeee how small her waist is and how all around slim and toned she is!! She’s also my height so it makes pics of her even more motivating!

4. I really don’t wanna lose my ass 😭😭 I barely have one to begin with! Also I’m scared I’ll slow my metabolism down so I can’t maintain my ugw

5. I am losing weight for me. I want to lose weight because I’m tired of feeling a double chin when I look down, or having to wear “control top” (barf) leggings under skirts so they look right. I want to be totally confident and comfortable in the body I carve out for myself.

6. I do binge sometimes, mostly out of a sense of loss of control. When I’m really in a tailspin, and I can’t focus, food fills the void. I always feel worse.

7. My parents do not know! They know I’ve had an 3d “in the past” so I am keeping this very much under wraps

8. I don’t really have a routine per say, I just do whatever I feel like doing, but I usually do something like

- Clamshells (60 seconds each side)

- 80 squats

- 30 lunges (each side)

- bridges until failure for 2 sets and then pulse and hold until failure for one set

- 3 supersets of 10 reg crunches, 10 crunches w legs in an L shape, 10 crunches with legs straight up, and 15 leg raises.

- 10 pushups (as many standard as possible, then assisted/on knees)

- 60 second plank

- Stretching

9. Kinda. The earliest I can remember is being veryyy little in the pool with my little sister and her asking why my belly was bigger than hers. I didn’t even know what fat meant at that point but it hurt like hell. When I was a little older, I remember my grandma giving me advice on losing belly fat ☹️ like girl pls. My family has commented negatively on my weight loss before though, my dad is convinced I’m “super skinny” and “need to put some weight on”. I’m literally completely healthy?? Girl bffr.

10. The hardest thing? Probably how weak I feel. I know that’s just the way losing weight goes, and it does validate me, but I’ve always been rly strong so losing some of that muscle mass as I lose weight has been hard bc I can’t do as much as I was able to before. Planning to pack muscle on as much as possible anyways bc it makes you look skinnier

11. My fav th!nsp0 blog is probably @c0ke-zer0 , the stuff they post is so motivating 🥰

12. Lately, I’ve been drinking a lot of Fairlife protein shakes (chocolate flav my beloved) and eating saltines w hot sauce (I know it’s weird but it works). I also really enjoy salads, fruit, dumplings, rice, and 0 cal energy drinks. I will eat pretty much anything, I don’t really have fear foods, I just eat a very small portion and try to eat the most of whatever is lowest calorie/highest protein

13. I’m definitely not losing weight in a super healthy way, but it isn’t the worst? I’m hoping to actually maintain my UGW afterwards so I don’t wanna totally fuck my body up rn.

14. My ugw is around 125-130, I know weight fluctuates and my actual ugw is like 128 but it’s never gonna be exactly that every day. I’m hoping to reach it before the end of November! I only have like 13.5 lbs to go!!

15. Nope! I am not vegan or vegetarian, and I don’t think I could do either. Chicken and tuna are such good low cal/high protein foods, I could never give them up.

16. The first time I ever remembered really wanting to lose weight was when I was around 15? My best friend had an 3d and I remember googling it to see what it was and finding tumblr and…. It was all downhill from there 😭 can’t believe I’ve been dealing w this shit for so long bro I need to lose the weight and get tf out.

17. I am not diagnosed with any eating disorders butttt I definitely have disordered eating? If I were to get diagnosed it would probably be something along the lines of 4n@ or 0rthø

18. Anything salty and crunchy 🥹🥹 I will go through a whole bag of takis so fast it’s not even funny. Been avoiding chips as much as possible for this. Also candy if it’s just around? I used to have a really bad habit of just eating mindlessly. I don’t even have a sweet tooth idk why I wouldn’t just control myself. That’s not really any issue anymore tho

19. I work at a fast food-ish place, but I didn’t really eat my last shift so I guess it would have been about 2 weeks ago? Usually when I get something from there I steer clear of the “fast food” offerings and take a banana or a yogurt.

20. My favorite diet is high protein, under 1000 cals. After that idc, I try to eat more healthy than junk foods, but like I said I’ll pretty much take one bite of anything.

21. Clothing sizes

Pants: 4 💔

Shirt: small

Dress: small/medium

I always buy sweatshirts and stuff in xxxl sizes though.

22. My lowest weight was 138 lbs. it was right before a family vacation, so I couldn’t get away with not eating. I ended up gaining back some of the weight and then “recovering” aka gaining all the weight back only to be unhappy and come back to this.

23. Definitely!! I totally remember seeing magazines talking about how fat celebs were and at 10 years old thinking “but I look like that” and generally growing up, skinnier was prettier and better always.

24. i think it’s disgusting. Pr04n4 content is what made me develop this 3d in the first place. It’s one thing to post abt your struggles and seek community, it’s a whole other thing to glorify it and try to make OTHERS sicker???

25. Yes, I have purged before. I don’t do it often. But the first time i was 16 and my family had gotten Taco Bell, I ate like 2.5 burritos and felt sick with myself so I threw up in my trashcan bag and threw it away outside. Horrible memory.

26. I’m so excited to be confident in my skin!! And look great in all the outfit ideas I have planned 🥹 I also can’t wait to have a partner but I don’t see that happening until I lose this weight. When that does happen, I love being picked up and carried or tossed around, so being light enough that it isn’t a burden for my partner. I also can’t wait to have someone pick me up and go “omg you’re so light” or hug me and say “you feel so skinny, did you lose weight??

27. Honestly it doesn’t bother me too much, I work around food all the time so I just sorta go into a work mindset: look, touch, don’t eat. Food is for preparing, food is for serving to others, food is not for eating.

28. Not necessarily! I think it looks nice on a body type with wide enough hips, but on me I think i would have to be skinnier than I want to be in order to have one. Besides that (VERY CONTROVERSIAL) I don’t mind bigger thighs BECAUSEEE they support ass 🫡

29. For me, beauty is when someone or something is fully expressing itself to all it can be. A performance, a flower bloom, a genuine laugh. It doesn’t really matter what those things look like, as long as they form that direct bridge to the soul and show a glimpse of yourself to the world.

30. 10 facts about myself

- I can’t stand cucumber or celery

- I’m in school for psychology

- my birthday is soon!!

- I do art

- I have one younger sister and she’s my world

- I have 2 pets! A cat and a dog

- I love blue and green

- my eyes are brown

- im in multiple f4nd0ms (c3ns0r3d so this doesnt come across n0rm4l túmbIř

- I had a hardcore middleschool emo/kpop phase (yes at the same time)

[lavender-annd-lilac]

@imyourbratzdoll so there were too many to fit in one ask so I just compiled into a big post and grouped them together

no one else look at this ok it's secret

Elves (all of them, or almost all haha) fighting for reader's attention

Lee definitely throws the first punch

Ransom hangs back b/c he's not a fighter lmao

but after it's over, he still pretends he got hurt so reader will kiss it better 😂😂

"injured" elves lining up like "I need medical attention first, I'm hurt the most!" 🙄

also somehow their pants disappear during the fight 😳

"help us! we are too hurt to move... u must carry us"🥺

if Santa offered to carry some of them they would say "NO! I can walk by myself!" bc they only want reader to carry them 🤣

Elves cock blocking Johnny lol

Sleepover Drama

Reader is having a sleepover party with elves

Ransom hangs back/doesn't want to go b/c he doesn't want the other elves to make fun of him or think he's mushy for wanting to snuggle

Reader wouldn't allow Ransom to be left out, she would make a search party to look for him w/ all the elves behind her in a little line

Curtis and Lee not happy about it, they are like "ugh why does he always do this shit" 🙄

Ransom pretends to be reluctant to come along but actually he's happy inside haha 🥹

More Ransom being a brat lol

he breaks into readers house (or goes into her room in Santa's house) but she's awake so he pretends he's not even there to see her 😂

trying to give the vibe that he doesn't care if reader pays attention to him 😬

but keeps moving closer and closer to reader, kind of like baiting her to pick him up😏😏😏

but he still doesn't want to go up to her so he's kind of lurking, peeking out behind the corner 🥺

Reader sees asks him to come over

he's still pretending to be aloof "why are u bothering me like this" lol

Reader coaxes him over and he's like " ugh fine, since u seem so desperate I will give YOU attention lmao 😅😅😅

Picking up the elves

lol u said most of them would try to bite him💀💀💀

some of them (Ransom lmao) HATE being picked up (unless it's by reader... but he won't admit it)

if reader goes to pick one up Santa will try to stop her

Steve gets tangled in the xmas lights pretty high up on the tree

he was trying to get to the top b/c there was an angel on top of the tree and he wanted to see if it looks like reader b/c he thinks she's an angel🥹

reader can't reach Steve

she has to get Santa (or Grinch??) to help and then she'll owe them a favour

Steve and the Christmas lights (again)

he falls asleep while he is waiting for reader to untie the other elves first 🥹

Steve being the sweetest

Ransom would be like "pfffft this is so stupid it doesn't even mean anything"

but he still takes the heart b/c he appreciates that his friend made it for him🥺

[acourtofthought]

The other day I was trying to show my sis one of your theories about elucien and gwynriel that why you think they're endgame and the crumbs sjm dropped for us throughout the series and it's been in front of this whole time...

And she told me and I quote: don't waste my time on this when I know they're endgame😎

Me: 😦

She said that with a certainty that it shocked me lmao like I wasn't that certain when I finished the series I just knew after Azriel's chapter I didn't feel so good about e/riels and I was trying to convince and prepare myself that they might be a good pairing in their book haha I was struggling it was a dark time lmao

All I'm saying is that people like my sister exist and they instantly knew Azriel and Gwyn scenes where a mean to romantic scenes

And STILL there are some people who ask "gEnUiNeLY why do you ship gwynriel/elucien?" Or "I read the books but idk why there are gwynriel shippers they barely talked!"

pls if you like the rest of us weren't waiting for "e/riel interaction" and paid attention to the actual plot and the current storyline maybe just maybe you would've noticed it too!! Bc I know how they were disappointed that they didn't got the training session they wanted with them and now they're reasoning the very same thing for not liking gwynriel...

They are so hypocrite that its funny at this point everything they have reasoned for not liking or believing they won't happen reek of hypocrisy and jealousy bc they wanted angst but elucien is already serving and they wanted a trainer x trainee dynamic and gwynriel has already gave it to us and they still need to train more😌✌

I love that you wanted to share my blogs with someone!! That makes me feel special ❤️❤️❤️ And though she had little interest 😂 I love that she came to the conclusion all on her own. It's one thing to still ship E/riel, that is completely someones right. But it is ridiculous when someone truly acts confused as to how anyone sees the possibility of Gwynriel ESPECIALLY when those same people ship Vassa / Lucien. Lucien has never felt something spark in his chest when it comes to Vassa. He did not take Elain's solstice gift and easily regift it to Vassa. Vassa has never once sassed Lucien the way that Gwyn sassed at Az. We've never even seen a conversation between Vassa and Lucien outside of the one that Jurian, Eris, and Cassian were all part of and which involved Koschei. And Azriel notes that his shadows are playful with Gwyn in a way they never have been with Elain. Does that mean Gwynriel is a certainty? Not necessarily but let's not pretend it couldn't be hinting at something. A while back I sent a few friends excerpts from the book. I didn't not tell them my own preference but sent them certain lines about Elain's character (i.e., cruelty troubles her, the "don't hurt" Graysen quote) and then sent lines regarding the characters of Az and Lucien, how they handled certain things ("if Lucien kills Graysen, good riddance", "I'll defeat him with little effort"). I asked who seemed to be a better match for Elain based on personality and Lucien took it in a clean sweep. So yeah, it's ok if someone still ships E/riel because they have been given reason to ship it. But it's frustrating when certain E/riels act like we don't have just as much hinting at the possibility of an Elucien or Gwynriel endgame.

[winwintea]

hi ml!! i so agree with you and it's always been her over anyone😭 she on the other hand WANTS me to continue talking to him, on which i insisted that i'd back off any second she even feels the slightest bit uncomfortable, but no girl's all about how this was MEANT TO BE😃

meant to be, my ass, but okay coming down to the guy, okay so this might be a itty bitty of a trauma dump, but i love you, so here we go, i have known the man since we were in elementary, and i kinda grew up with him, so he's one of those people who knows me really well, so everything with him comes naturally, but now it's as if he's playing hurt/comfort.

so, what happened last night, was that after having the conversation with my bsf, i abruptly ended the conversation with him, because i just couldn't find myself to talk, and in the morning he was all, what happened, you should have talked, i'd have listened and when i said, okay the next time i will, bro goes on saying, i'll disappear by the next time😃

i don't want to hate this man, but he makes it very hard not to, because this is what he keeps doing and i actually suffered from anxiety at one point in my life, and the push and pull of it all isn't the best thing to me, it makes me all nervous and fidgety, like AT ALL TIMES😭😭😭

i'm sorry this is sm of a lore, but here we go, hope i'm serving well 😞✊🏻

-🍑👋🏻

girl... she is not coping well 😭😭 that is fore sure... does she think you still like him cause 💀💀 that's crazy. she's probably not in the most great mental mindset rn so you should wait until she can see some logic because rn her mind is so clouded with the breakup i can see how the emotional instability can affect that... lowkey feel bad for her omg she deserves so many hugs...

GIRL JUST DROP HIM ATP. lowkey i know that's difficult so like if you can't do that obviously don't do that. childhood friends are even more difficult ugh like idk. WHAT DOES HE WANT??? like i can't understand. like he does realize you two are exes like there is a clear boundary line here?

honestly if you can't drop him, you should just flat out state that "this is a clear boundary that you are pushing with me. i know our relationship had its ups and downs, but at the end of the day we are still exes no matter if that hurts to admit. i feel like i'm in an uncomfortable position between you and my bsf and your flippant attitude is not helping at all. if you can't accept this then 'disappear' like you said you would. please understand that although i'm not hurting or need of comfort i am a human being at the end of the day and i'm entitled to my own feelings, and you are making it severely uncomfortable, pushing onto me like this."

LIKE ALSO ASK HIM TO BE CLEAR ON WHAT THE HELL HE WANTS CAUSE THIS IS JUST SO... 😵😵

the childhood friend does make things so much more difficult ugh. like i think with most of my childhood friends i'm in a mindset where i couldn't imagine dating half of them bc i literally watched you glow up so although everyone else thinks you're hot i think of the small child i grew up and hung out with... but i did have a crush on my bff 😭 and she knew which like kinda screwed over our relationship past high school so yeah. don't fall in love with your childhood friends !!!

YOU SEVERED WELL IM SO HOOKED

[russilton]

What’re your thoughts on America’s sweethearts Logan Sargeant and Chloe Chambers?

I promise you those on Logan’s are eagles, I was using a double line brush sometimes you get what you get

Lets start with the easy one- Chloe! I know so little about her but she seems like a good egg, synth loves her and I am super fond! I cheered when she won, I look forward to seeing her alongside Este and Ollie next year because I think they’ll make a thoroughly chaotic group of children. Yes este included. She seems great! Go kiddo!

Logan… Logan is complicated. I really don’t hate the guy, but I can’t make myself love him. He suffers from being slap bang in the middle of slightly misplaced frustration at a system that’s not on him, and frustration with his fans. It’s not his fault, I feel deeply sorry for the lot he’s been stuck with and the critique levelled at him very fast, but I also think a lot of people baby him when the reality of F1 is just gutting and frustrating sometimes. My opinions are very driver meta heavy, so I’ll stick them under a read more bc not everyone wants to read that

I feel for Sargent, I feel for his fans. Not everyone swims, I was a fan of Nicky who he replaced, and I adored the guy but he just wasn’t fit for F1, and part of that is drive and part of it is just confidence. Logan had a harder entry, but greater confidence, but that just doesn’t always translate to a drive. And that. Sucks. You can hate it and grieve it and it will hurt. But I also don’t think James Vowles is the enemy for telling him he has to preform. I don’t think he was evil for switching the cars. He has 1000+ people at grove to protect and they don’t have the safety or money Logan does. James didn’t hire him but he gave him the best shot he could with incredible gentle hands for that first year. But that just cant last forever. You sometimes have to choose between your driver being babied because they are young, which means they aren’t trusted, or trusted, but that means responsibilities and pressure.

While it’s not what he wants and it sucks, Logan does have options, has a safety net in Indy car who seems desperate for him to return home, or I was even saying to friends he would be a great shout for formula E! He has options, and whatever happens he has achieved a dream many don’t, in getting in an f1 car at all. He should be damn proud of that.

Which is also why I feel a little bitter sometimes- I see a lot of people calling out that Logan was never give a shot- he was absolutely pulled too fast, but he WAS given an astronomical opportunity. You can think what Williams did wasn’t fair but what’s even crueller is the people who don’t get what Logan did at all. I’m a Fred fan, so I wanted him in Logan’s seat if it was vacated, and as it becomes clear that’s not very likely to happen, all I get to see is the fact Logan got a shot my guy might not. People can call Ameriphobia, but being American got him his seat, having sponsors and family connections following him got him his seat. He’s no nepo baby but he wasn’t helpless…Some people have none of that, no matter how they preform, how hard they try. Is any of this Logan’s fault?

No, Logan’s not Merc (or Toto), he has no say, he’s fighting for his own life. but I also can’t really… detach him from that. If he does stay, good, if he goes, I think he still has so many opportunities to shine. I see in Logan not the man himself, but the shadow of those before, and those who could have been.

I also caution y’all this is a personal opinion most definitely not shared by wider fandom or teams- but it’s where my head is at. If you don’t agree— trust me, I’m already suffering. I have so much sympathy for the guy which is WHY I feel so much. I have far less thoughts about dudes I hate

Driver opinion Bingo

[sunnybubblezzz]

i love avery lynch so much

like i remember me just not being able to sort out my feeling and then FRICTION pops up? like WHAT its everything im feeling and more.

i remember the day “youre just a guy” came out. i had someone in my mind the second i saw the title. i drew a spread based around the song

dont even get me started on, “didnt show up” I WAS BAWLINGGG WHEN I FIRST LISTENED TO IT

just listening to her and realizing that i’m feeling everything she’s singing about..

NO BECAUSE IM ON HER CLOSE FRIENDS STORY AND I WANT HER TOTE BAG SO BAD LIKE SHE HELPED ME SMM I WANT TO SUPPORT

NOT TO MENTION SHE SAID SHE WOULD POST MY SKETCHBOOK SPREAD ON HER STORY WHEN I FINISH IT PLSSS IM FLOATING

okay but that’s unimportant.

idek where i was going with this.

useless information.

that song always brings tears to my eyes because ITS SO TRUE. LIKE i thought i knew sm about you.

so much things i memorized.

AND

FOR

WHAT

stopp now im crying again okay okay. its just like ughhh all those things i know about you, and its gonna be old information soon but its still there in my brain… and i wont ever use it again.

where does all the useless information go? - avery lynch

not in that way..

okay this is where it gets a lil too relatable.

“when someone’s love goes dead do we ever believe it?” I DIDNT BELIEVE IT AT FIRST i really didnt. i thought i was overthinking it but no we’ve been pulling slowing pulling back our hands cause its easier then letting go (see what i did there).

“torture ourselves till the inevitable happens.. and that always happens” AND IT ALWAYS ALWAYS DOES HAPPEN. im sad this line wouldnt fit on the paper but its SOO true. every single TIME it always ends up with this. i thought this one would be different but no its inevitable.

“it starts with doing things without them.” it really does hurt because that’s exactly how it started. when i realized you put more effort into hanging out with your other friends then you did me.. thats when i knew it was the start.

“then they start needing to remind themselves to call you every day.” we used to text everyday.. okay now im actually gonna cry.. we used to text EVERY SINGLE DAY. what happened?

“then they’re making friends with people who barely know your name” … i knew this one would happen. i knew most of her friends by name and its sad bc none of them knew me. i was never in your posts.. could we even be considered friends if barely anyone knows we are?

your making friends with people who dont even know my name. hey but atleast i got over that fact now instead of when you go away to college. i knowww that line is gonna be even harder then.

“once that happens they’ll still love you but not in that way.”.. SO TRUE. i think maybe you still like me and this song gave me the clarification i needed on that fact. you just dont love me in that way anymore.

if im being honest.

“i wonder how much more was make believe. cause you made it all feel real till you left it dead.” there is NO WAY there wasnt some of you that was just make believe because HOW in the world could our whole friendship end like that..

“just tell me if you meant it.”.. i told you i loved you. i told you how much you meant to me. i told you all that. I WROTE YOU PARAGRAPHS OF CARDS. and for what?

i didnt even get a card from you on ymy birthday. yeah now im saying this i just sound so stupid. i didnt even realize until know how much i was waiting for written words of affirmation from you until this line.

i just want you to tell me that you did love me. i want you to tell me that you loved me as much as i loved you. just TELL ME that you meant it.

“cause if im being honest i dont think you felt a thing.” this song hits HARD.

“cause i thought when you love someone its hard to walk away. “

“i really thought that you loved me.”

i really did think that you loved me. i really really really really thought. after i listened to this song and read the lyrics, i realized i wasnt being honest with myself.

you didnt feel a freaking thing.

“was your world crumbling?”

“or did it barely bend?”

“or do i even want to know a thing cause why does it matter when you did it wither way.”

your world didnt crumble. i dont even think it BENT. avery is so right. i dont even want to KNOW, CAUSE IT DOESNT MATTER YOU DID IT EITHER WAY

yes i am screaming the lyrics rn.

“why did you say that you loved me?”

you know after this line… i wondered if you DID love me. did you ever even say you did?

ughhh i really do hate myself. yeah i am looking back at the card you gave me last year. (its so funny.. you give me a card last year and not this year.. i really did not want to cry today but yeah i just hate myself.)

and now im sobbing..

ill edit this post once i start working on the rest of the friction sketchbook spread. this is the inspiration i needed for the “if im being honest” part.

[actualclownfucker]

i think this is a really good example of expanding on canon versus changing canon, actually, it’s all very interesting!!

sorry if you didn’t want a long ass reply but i love the crouches heheheh

i could talk for ages about barty jr and sirius myself, the way sirius talks about him in his monologue and even seems to feel bad for him. and i think sirius and regulus having known the crouches as kids is actually very valid

“crouch sr should’ve spent a little more time at home, gotten to know his son” - sirius says something along the lines of this when he’s telling the golden trio about barty crouch sr (could find the exact screenshot for anyone interested, ik i have it) and to me, this can easily suggest that sirius knew the crouches, and knew them well enough to know bcj had animosity towards his father

and i think you’re right, bcsr could’ve seen sirius as everything barty wasn’t.

really, was there anything wrong with barty as a child? probably not. maybe he was a little sickly, maybe as much as he tried to behave, he was just a little hyper and bcsr found him irritating, bcj was almost assuredly overemotional, and maybe not that good at interacting with other people, because he’s weird. so smart as bcj was, he’s not perfect, bcsr didn’t believe in him, didn’t believe his son would amount to anything.

meanwhile, sirius, he sees from an outsiders perspective. as far as bcsr can see, there’s nothing wrong with sirius.

so he tells sirius how bright of a child he is, how he can become “anything” he wants to and he’ll do great at it.

this makes sirius the perfect replacement for bcj. to take him away from his dark wizard family and help him achieve greatness (the sort of greatness that bcsr believes in, because yes, sirius did have the ability to become anything, but really bcsr’s intentions are to mold him into him)

and i also agree that sirius’s perspective here is so interesting, because bcsr is everything he wants in parent. he tells him he’s good, clever, smart and even tells him he loves him (which !!! exciting!!!), but he’s still not,,, nice. he still tells sirius what to do and how to be, he still tries to control sirius (i could go on and on about sirius’s control issues, but no one listens bc they tell me “that sounds more like regulus 🙎🏻‍♀️”) but as much as bcsr says he loves him, he still yells, still gets upset and disappointed, still hits sirius, but “you just make me so upset, sirius, i’m sorry i hit you, i love you and i just know you can do better” and bcsr starts the typical cycle of abuse, apologies and abusing again. “i know he hits me, but he loves me and he’s sorry, so it’s okay”

and then the hurt that sirius would feel about bcsr when he runs away to potters and bcsr not reaching out would break him more than anything his parents ever did. but the option to go live with his best friend who means the world to him or bcj, his sick mother, and watching bcsr never be home and when he is, he’s beating on bcj.

so as uncomfortable as sirius is by being surrounded by people who are actually good, it’s clearly the option that makes sense. and i LOVE what you said about sirius feeling like he’s intruding on the potters, thank you for saying that !! because i have so much trouble with the way sirius’s time at the potters is often portrayed

and if you wanna answer, i’m curious what you think of mrs crouch in this scenario? because i like to portray her adoring her son and thinking the world of him, but she can’t control bcsr, as much as she wants to and can’t make him love bcj or even treat bcj as a person, bc he expects bcj to act like an adult, like sirius does, and not a child who gets upset and cries when his dad yells at him, because unlike sirius, bcj actually deserves it

another note is depending on the age we’re talking about here: the crouches are pureblood and while the blacks political beliefs might align with crouches, they would want an in with him, due to his status. they want as many connections as they can have, but what do the potters offer? nothing. crouch offers good political standing, so for weekends, maybe even weeks at a time, the blacks would likely willingly even give sirius over to bcsr, so that they’re on “good terms” and if they need a favor, perhaps crouch would be willing to offer (he wouldn’t, but the blacks wouldn’t see this)

now one more point i want to talk about is that sirius was already in azkaban (i don’t think we know for how long, but if you do, plz lmk!!) before barty because he mentions seeing bcj come in and that bcj “couldn’t have been more than 19” and if sirius was arrested around 22, that means they have at least something of an age gap. and i find it interesting that young as bcj would’ve been, bcsr already had given up on him.

honestly, i think bcsr gave up on bcj in his early childhood, but what if bcsr knew sirius first? and wanted his own son to grow up and be like him, but that didn’t happen??? just smthn interesting to think about to me!

sorry if there’s any part of your answer i didn’t mention explicitly loving, but know that i loved ALL of it LOL!!! ♥️

do you mean barty crouch sr by bcsr??? because omg plz tell me what you think about sirius’s relationship w him, i find the crouches so interesting, i would love to hear about that

YESS i LOVE you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont actually know how much of what i imagine for them can be fit into canon/is canon but like sglkfd.

so barty jr and sirius probably met during their childhood i think, bcjr was intelligent and well mannered and a respectable kid in sirius' age range, and ofc there's the hc that he was close friends w regulus, too. i hc he was pretty distant w bcjr himself but i just knoww sirius 'daddy issues' black needed everyone's parents' approval. orion was a negligent asshole sawr i think its a pretty valid course of action yk

and ofc bcsr loved him !! he was intelligent, he was quick, he was charming, well mannered, all the shit he wishes his bastard of a son was. and barty sr is a bit manipulative too yk he would definitely try to steal sirius away from his family and friends because he knows what sirius needs.

and like !! bcsr. he knows his son is death eater, he does use sirius as a replacement. he doesnt hide it, either, which he thinks justifies using a very obviously traumatized young boy to forget about the guilt in his heart about abusing, traumatizing and neglecting his own son. that being said, he gives sirius the watered down version of abuse his parents do - which sirius has grown comfortable enough with. that being said, the main reason sirius ran away isnt there: he's not a supporter of voldemort. he's actively fighting against him. (also hehe i hc walburga as bipolar so sirius is just happy he doesnt have a timebomb in the house 24/7) (or at least the timebomb doesnt explode around him !!). bcsr still mentions who sirius should associate himself with, still is disappointed when he doesnt get a good grade (an E instead of an O), he yells at sirius, maybe he raises a hand at him too - but at the end of the day sirius finds him justified because he's the one who took sirius under his wing, and is helping him, and is nice to him, and this is really what parents do to their children, right?

here is also when the post comes in btw: bcsr feels entitled to sirius' life, his idea of a parent/child relationship is ownership, and unfortunately that's sirius' view of it too, but bcsr is a lot calmer and quieter than walburga, he cares more than orion - to sirius its really the best of both worlds. bcsr wants sirius to go in politics which sirius does not want because he already has whatever career he's chosen for himself, and bcsr feels it necessary that sirius follow his - his own son wont.

bcsr does need sirius, he confides in him, he loves him (in his own fucked up way). sirius moves on, he runs away and gets farther and farther away from everything that reminds him of Before and feels resentment that bcsr (a man who he's considered his strongest father figure for years) doesn't even reach out to him once. bcsr feels that its a child's responsibility to reach out every time - he feels betrayed that sirius didn't runaway to him, that he didnt even know sirius had runaway till someone told him in passing. the letters they exchanged come to an abrupt end and it just feels like everything ended in the middle of it yk. barty crouch sr doesnt see sirius till sirius is arrested, soon after his own bio son is x

(also, yes sirius does still have the potters, but the potters are a completely different world to him. he's not used to that kind of completely unconditional love, he's not used to seeing how they shower their heir son in love. its a little bittersweet, it feels like a fantasy, sirius feels like he's intruding, he fills resentment to james for being raised with parents who love him and ofc he doesnt want that so he finds solace elsewhere. he thinks the potters are angels on earth, his relationship with bcsr is what the normal parent/child relationship. if walburga and orion are a 10 on the scale of what sirius considers to be 'bad parents', euphemia and fleamont are in the negative. bcsr falls somewhere in the middle, like a 2 or 3 to sirius. to bcjr, sirius can recognize, that bcsr is horrible. he yells, may hit, he's permanently disappointed when they do interact. they barely ever do - bcsr is always busy, he makes special time for sirius (which makes sirius giddy bc wowzers am i that important?) which cuts out even more time from bcsr and bcjr to interact. also, bcsr calls sirius son and he doesnt call bcjr son. sirius is lowk a homewrecker i love him.).

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!

( as a new teen wolf stan )

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the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!

Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.

Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)

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okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies

Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim

Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.

Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)

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Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!

Artificial Love - songbvrd

Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.

Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)

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so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!

The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR

Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”

Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.

Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)

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me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*

Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape

Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”

Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”

Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.

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okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical

Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.

(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)

Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )

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so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.

(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite

Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.

Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.

Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )

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okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!

two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!

for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!

whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )

go check out:

eneiryu

as well as fallingforboys

here are some of my favorite fics by them ~

darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys

even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys

memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys

skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys

i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys

whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys

between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu

cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu

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okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore

my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene

it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…

Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach

Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.

Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.

Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )