#i hurt myself making it tbh

[sayshautie]

Jackie x Shauna - The Scientist

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

oh noooo or whatever

bonus aka The Real Motive Behind This:

SURPRISE double bonus. textless ver of the first pic under the cut

[deoidesign]

Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between

[dosomethingbabe]

[nightmare-foundation]

Yknow, I feel like Dick not fighting back against the mistreatment of him during the Spyral arc (perpetrated by the batfamily) isn't super surprising from a trauma lens, at least not to me.

I've seen people tend to argue that Dick should've and would've fought back, and I'm definitely not arguing otherwise- but why DIDN'T he fight back??

Personally, to me, his behavior strikes me as fawning. He's not arguing against the shitty things the batfamily does to him or say about him, if anything he's agreeing with them. I could probably really look back over how he acts in B&R: Eternal, but from what I remember, he feels very people pleasing.

And imo this isn't super surprising? Especially if what happened in Nightwing #30 is still fresh in his mind, not to mention Spyral breaking him down and the others lashing out at him, physically and verbally. These things are very traumatizing, and would've changed him most likely. His trauma response being to fawn here makes sense; he Needs the others to work with him, and fighting them on something they won't budge on will only get him hurt. Not only that, but physical punishment seems to be a very real consequence at this time, and Dick is likely in survival mode.

If fawning means he can get his job done and not be physically punished, then it makes the most sense for him to go that route, as sad as it is. His trauma response moving from fight(?) to fawn would be a really interesting thing to explore. After all, Dick said things wouldn't be the same, but we don't know WHAT would change, or if it would even be for the better (since people seem to interpret that to mean 'I'm leaving after this' or similar, which is fair tbh but that statement can mean a multitude of things).

Overall, regardless of how in character it is, I think Dick turning to fawning makes sense in this situation. Being beaten by your father and then repeatedly physically and verbally assaulted by the rest of your family is deeply traumatizing, not to mention everything that is Spyral. If Dick can minimize the damage to himself as much as possible and finish the mission, then it makes sense for him to fawn.

[muxhroom-marx-markiplier]

welcome back to rodrick drops a shit ton of extremely messy unfinished doodles of his favorite character(s) because he cannot be held at gunpoint to finish a drawing

in this episode rodrick puts his head in his hands and tears his hair out and then screams really loudly

[kitten4sannie]

look at the way i ride ~

[teknikolor-walters]

Does anyone else feel a debilitating fear of getting better? Is this normal? Does it secretly prove I'm just faking everything for attention? Probably tbh

[interstellerjay]

.

[fishysos]

plbttt :p my wizards' younger cohorts, Just Cuz. I figured I'd have to draw them eventually so I wanted to get the designs down.

I actually tried to... Follow The In Game Models!! just a bit, of course.

dragonborn kept crashing the creation kit so I couldn't get a good ref of Talvas, but fuck it, we ball.

[catboyidia]

zayne would absolutely stay with rafayel on ebb day, and i think zayne would tirelessly care for rafayel and try to understand exactly what’s happening to him so he can try his hardest to find some way to make rafayel feel better, even despite rafayel protesting that he’s fine 🥺 i think zayne would learn everything he possibly can about lemurian biology for rafayel!

[doctorweebmd]

so there's this post floating around about like, feeling like an outsider even in a group of outsiders and i almost reblogged it being like

'aha i do that'

except. like. i know exactly why that happens, and its 100% my fault

i just have trouble maintaining relationships because i'm a poor communicator. that's been the case since high school. i dont really initiate conversations or remember to text or call people. its not from a place of indifference or anything like that - i'm sincerely an 'out of sight out of mind' kind of person.

i can not talk to and not see someone for months or years but my feelings for them don't change. it doesn't bother me if people dont check in on me or don't hang out with me or don't text me. i still like them. unfortunately that is not how 99% of the population communicates. people (rightfully) assume that when someone doesn't initiate conversation or hang-outs or doesn't check in on you, that they don't care about you. for me, thats not the case at all. like if i like you and consider you my friend, you are ALWAYS my friend. i would do anything for you and would be more than happy to talk/see each other/support you/etc. its just the day-to-day communication that i really struggle with. but thats how most relationships form - regular, consistent communication.

i've gone through periods of extreme guilt for this where i sincerely try, and make new friends, and re-connect with texting and phone calls and hanging out more often but inevitably something happens, i get busy or i forget and suddenly all this time passes and people think i dont care anymore. unfortunately that's not the case whatsoever - time is kind of abstract to me and i dont understand that while my feelings don't change, others feel more distant or abandoned.

and i've really hurt people in my life like that. friends that i've known for many years from high school/college are a LITTLE more forgiving because they know i'm just 'like that' but still. it does hurt people. like i haven't spoken to my dad in probably at least a year - not because i dont love him, but because of that same reason. he doesn't reach out and i forget and it just steamrolls because he gets hurt, doesn't reach out because he thinks i'm intentionally 'ignoring' him, and i continue to forget, and its just this viscous cycle. i haven't talked to my grandparents in months. my mom knows better and texts me every week or so, but it still hurts her that she has to reach out so regularly. she also plays these games where she sees how 'long' it takes for me to remember to reach out. a lot of people in my life have done that. its like i'm being tested on something without ever being told its a standard test, ya know? i'm always destined to fail it because i dont know how long is too long. at which point will the time and distance be unacceptable? i still dont know the answer.

and i think it makes me come off as a really heartless and callous person. its made me kind of keep people at arms-length because i know i'm not capable of being a part of most people's lives. i have perfectly normal and pleasant relationships with my coworkers and all that, but i'm generally not close with them. and i can see the confusion, because we hang out and i'm pretty normal or whatever and we have fun and then they don't hear from me for months and they're like 'uhhhh.... okay? so i guess you don't like me?'

i do. i just have different relationship maintenance standards than others i guess. so i just overall avoid being around others just because i know i'll disappoint them. it is what it is but it really is sad, in a way.

[nightmare8-420]

i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.

[girlyliondragon]

I wish I could selfship again.

I hate that I can't latch onto a character like I used to back then. Ex-'friends' hurt my ability to connect to characters on such a closely personal level so badly I'm straight up too scared to even try anymore bc hardly anyone understands outside the few oldest friends I (hopefully still) have.

My longest was three whole years, even me getting married to the character I selfshipped with and everything (it was one of those Cozy Games where you could date and marry an NPC character ala Stardew Valley-like, which helped the immersion, I felt actually married in my case), but then people made me feel ashamed to like the character for reasons I do not feel comfortable saying (lot of asspulling to put it lightly) to where I distanced myself from them, and then I couldn't get that close connection back again, I look at them and I just feel grief. Same with my last attempt here. Coercive ex from my last toxic "relationship" that I didn't even fucking want to begin with due to mental health tried to basically force me to "get over" my fictional attachments to focus on shitty real life as if that would fix me or at least make me happy as if a middle ground couldn't be had, which only hurt the mental thread more. Feel like had that not happened I'd actually be allowed to still heal in that regard. Bc I literally feel broken and empty otherwise so forever Fuck You with your "it's just fiction so get over it already" shit as if you thought you could fix me and my relationship with the unreal. I was literally fine. :/

I want to feel a closeness to fiction again. I really hate that the feelings I get for characters are so fleeting now when I want it to last longer. Past shit has really hurt there and idk how to get that back.

Like that link was broken ever since early 2023. The headspace I've tailored since I was 12 is just broken and it's been so hard to remake it anew. It really does hurt as someone who had been doing this since I was very young, now it's like I can't to the degree I did then anymore.

But moreso than anything it fucking pisses me off.

[mbat]

yknow what im sick of the words good person and bad person its a very annoying way to categorize things actually