#sometimes i think thats why i love writing and ao3 so much

[doctorweebmd]

so there's this post floating around about like, feeling like an outsider even in a group of outsiders and i almost reblogged it being like

'aha i do that'

except. like. i know exactly why that happens, and its 100% my fault

i just have trouble maintaining relationships because i'm a poor communicator. that's been the case since high school. i dont really initiate conversations or remember to text or call people. its not from a place of indifference or anything like that - i'm sincerely an 'out of sight out of mind' kind of person.

i can not talk to and not see someone for months or years but my feelings for them don't change. it doesn't bother me if people dont check in on me or don't hang out with me or don't text me. i still like them. unfortunately that is not how 99% of the population communicates. people (rightfully) assume that when someone doesn't initiate conversation or hang-outs or doesn't check in on you, that they don't care about you. for me, thats not the case at all. like if i like you and consider you my friend, you are ALWAYS my friend. i would do anything for you and would be more than happy to talk/see each other/support you/etc. its just the day-to-day communication that i really struggle with. but thats how most relationships form - regular, consistent communication.

i've gone through periods of extreme guilt for this where i sincerely try, and make new friends, and re-connect with texting and phone calls and hanging out more often but inevitably something happens, i get busy or i forget and suddenly all this time passes and people think i dont care anymore. unfortunately that's not the case whatsoever - time is kind of abstract to me and i dont understand that while my feelings don't change, others feel more distant or abandoned.

and i've really hurt people in my life like that. friends that i've known for many years from high school/college are a LITTLE more forgiving because they know i'm just 'like that' but still. it does hurt people. like i haven't spoken to my dad in probably at least a year - not because i dont love him, but because of that same reason. he doesn't reach out and i forget and it just steamrolls because he gets hurt, doesn't reach out because he thinks i'm intentionally 'ignoring' him, and i continue to forget, and its just this viscous cycle. i haven't talked to my grandparents in months. my mom knows better and texts me every week or so, but it still hurts her that she has to reach out so regularly. she also plays these games where she sees how 'long' it takes for me to remember to reach out. a lot of people in my life have done that. its like i'm being tested on something without ever being told its a standard test, ya know? i'm always destined to fail it because i dont know how long is too long. at which point will the time and distance be unacceptable? i still dont know the answer.

and i think it makes me come off as a really heartless and callous person. its made me kind of keep people at arms-length because i know i'm not capable of being a part of most people's lives. i have perfectly normal and pleasant relationships with my coworkers and all that, but i'm generally not close with them. and i can see the confusion, because we hang out and i'm pretty normal or whatever and we have fun and then they don't hear from me for months and they're like 'uhhhh.... okay? so i guess you don't like me?'

i do. i just have different relationship maintenance standards than others i guess. so i just overall avoid being around others just because i know i'll disappoint them. it is what it is but it really is sad, in a way.

[loftedlow]

i’m angsty because i think my period is coming soon so short Fyolai stuff (i keep forgetting to track it.)

p.s. This is my first time writing fanfic so uhm yeah tips are welcome and i’m sorry it may not be up to expectation…

I want to bash your head in so I may be the one you lose life to. Not illness. Not in a home at eighty. Right between my arms and a concrete wall, your blood reminding me of my own sanity.

It won’t bother me. It won’t bother me a bit because I can just do that.

Someone made a grave mistake letting me the gift of free will and I thank at their feet for that error.

———————————————————————

3rd person

But also like kinda Nikolai pov

———————————————————————

Nikolai dreamt of a day like this. He knew what it was like to have a man die at his arms but Fyodor was something more than that. An enigma to say the least. Thats why they were perfect for eachother, of course!

The white-coated man made his way to find his best friend. He opened the door to Fyodor’s office without knocking, as per usual, or sometimes he’d knock in different tones or rhythms. Contrary to the others in the DOA.

“Kolya.” Fyodor greeted without batting an eye toward him. “You’re up early.” At least he agnoledged. Nikolai liked to go at different schedules on different days. It deserves to be noticed— not that Nikolai felt like fixing his sleeping schedule. Maybe some day.

“Fedya~..! Good night to you too!” The overgrown class clown stepped up from behind the anemic bastard and wrapped his arms tightly around his shoulders, tightening as he moved up slowly toward Fyodor’s neck. He didn’t plan on killing him right now. The sun had barely come up and there was no way to see his beautiful eyes glaze over as his body might go limp in a cold, lonely lay over Nikolai’s body. Or maybe the moon would be a better setting? “When I kill you do you think the sun or the moon would be prettier to die on?”

Fyodor brought his own dainty, cold hands up to gently peel off the digits from his neck. He gave him only the smallest chuckle in response and turned the swiveling chair to face the standing, Almost like morse code to say try it, Lyubimaya moya, as his violet eyes settled on Nikolai’s figure.

“Like a proposal! You’d be with me together because your my best friend! Til you started to stink cause’ I don’t know how to comfort poor Sigma.” Nikolai wrapped his cape wonkily around his body and fidgeted with it. That had not sounded as…sentimental as he had originally intended.

Suddenly a long finger touched his lips. “Kohl’s, how about we talk a walk, hm?” And Nikolai smiled warmly. Similarly to the rest of his body in which apposed Fyodor perfectly, warm and bright. He enjoyed the outside much more than his beloved Fedya.

The two ter**ists locked the creased of their fingers in each other’s, shifting every once in a while and accossionally, platonically squeezing the other’s hand.

___________________ ew so rushed i’m not even gonna read it back bc i don’t even WANT to know how bad it is some goddess/god of an ao3 author tell me your ways or teach me, dm me anything. This might stay in drafts idk. Love u all tho <3

[ladysomething]

oh hun, and anon whose birthday was Idk when (hbd by the way! and don't worry, you're still young, love) if you guys feel old, how am I supposed to feel (early 90s baby here) 😖

the only reason I have not gone insane this week over the lack of wygig, has been weariness. first time I'm actually thankful for my shitty working hours.

and you know who IS going insane?? my brother! who actually has normal working hours! good for you maddie, having a random man drooling across the world, crawling up walls waiting for your moment to come back. (talking as if I was not the same) and nahh, the fisting is nothing. they've seen me read this stuff for yeaaaars. well not exactly but you get what I mean

honestly I shall praise. I have nothing else to do right now, and as I can't over analyze this week's chapter, I must yap about why I love your way of writing. and over analyze the snippet.

1. your way of writing is one of my favorites in ao3. you have this talent to get in people's heads and make them NEED to see more. crack. cocaine. I guess my mom would be much more happy that her children are addicted to this rather than irl drugs. mad(s) respect for that.

2. you're kinda a mastermind as well. everything is so well thinked and planned. kudos to saiyanwitcher as well for helping you out with this one. beautiful.

3. your characterization kills it. look, I've NEVER met this people, let alone think they would actually be in this situation. but. if they had to go through something like it. this is the way I think they would be like. I can bet on it. swear even. it just. fits. lovely.

4. I love that you make these long chapters that feel like nothing. you just inhale them. every time I read you I'm always looking at the little bar in the screen that tells how far along we are. I just don't want it to end. but even if you leave a cliffhanger, the chapters always feel complete. like it was meant to finish there. no more no less no further ahead. perfect.

5. I love how you engage with us. feed us crumbs and see how the world sets in fire, sometimes going insane with us too. is just refreshing. I like to imagine you in your couch, throwing us a bone and laughing at how we go nuts about it.

+1. I love the Max crush that you created in me. thank you very much for that. lives were changed. eyes were opened.

+2. my brother and I were going crazy over jealous Charlie. I quote him "oh lui è innamorato. che bello. y no se da cuenta! sei molto stupido Charle" (that's 'oh he is in love. and he doesn't even realize! you are very stupid Charle' for you) Imagine that with angry hand movements and frustrated pacing through a kitchen with a pan on his hand. proper italian, my brother. lost some points throwing some spanish in there but I would still give him like a 8.3/10 for the performance. go and sink us even more in the stereotype/jk

+3. I was today years old when I found out saiyan was the way english speakers write saiyajin. I even had to google and triple check it because I wasn't sure whether it was actually like that or my dislexic brain was just messing with me.

all to say. I love everything you write. give me that fire changed my brain chemistry first. I also found out way too much later than I would've wanted that it was your fic as well. not today but still not so long ago. lovely beautiful thing it was too.

birthday anon started it!!!

also what can I say ... thats my sheer power .. random men drooling across the world ... 💅 but also, them knowing that you read that stuff and reading it with you is very different I fear.

thank you 😭😭 that's very kind, and I'm so happy that that's the effect it has. it's exactly the effect I want!

@saiyanwitcher is the real mastermind tbh. I just write it!

personally I think characterisation is one of my strongest points as a writer, so I'm glad that it hits for you like it does for me!

ahhh I'm so glad they go fast! sometimes I write a chapter and I'm like ... this is 10k of absolutely nothing .. how boring.

I do absolutely laugh, I'm sorry. I laugh a lot.

+1. I'm so glad I've encouraged you to see the light. my Max crush rages fiercely every single day.

+2. YOU'RE ITALIAN?! please remind your brother that my DMs are open if he and his gf break up.

+3. I'll be so for real. I have no idea what you're talking about.

omgggg I'm so glad you loved GMTF too. my fave fic of mine tbh.

thanks for dropping in as always!!

[i-think-that-i-would-die]

reintroduction thing because my first one makes me recoil with cringe <3

hi my names kayle (pronounced kale). i use she/they pronouns. i like to write and i have a crippling obsession with musicals and bands (mostly 90s and bands from the grunge scene). i post works on ao3 and i also have a pinterest where i post sometimes.

kaycherry

https://www.pinterest.com/enashinonomemybeloved/

i will accept requests for fics if you for some reason like my work. ill write anything, however negative topics (such as incest and non-con) will be portrayed in the light it should (aka: im not romanticizing that shit).

uh favorite things ig:

bands: alice in chains, hole, nirvana, pearl jam, metallica, weezer, dazey and the scouts, the oozes, the jimi hendrix experience (and jimi hendrix in general), babes in toyland, bikini kill, le tigre, foo fighters (dad rock >>>>), deftones, paramore, my chemical romance, the smashing pumpkins, soundgarden, theres more but ill run out of room

songs: nutshell - alice in chains, why go - pearl jam, either double dare ya, carnival, or rebel girl - bikini kill, either (i dont think im allowed to write the name of in utero track three on tumblr) or floyd the barber - nirvana, either petals, teenage whore, or drown soda - hole, el scorcho - weezer, dolphin's cry - live, can't catch me now - olivia rodrigo (im a sucker for the songs in the hunger games movies' soundtracks [ESPECIALLY THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES UGHHE]), either february stars or cheer up, boys (your makeup is running) - foo fighters, bullet with butterfly wings - the smashing pumpkins, either mono, skinny little bitch (im pretty sure nobody's daughter doesn't count as hole and it's more of courtney's solo work), or i'll do anything - courtney love (courtneys solo work is so good <3), beans - kurt cobain, institutionalized - suicidal tendencies (all i wanted was a pepsi. just one pepsi. and she wouldn't give it to me), and im gonna run out of room again yippie'and im gonna run out of room again yippie (why the fuck is this on here twice)

misc musicians ig: will wood, mitski, kurt cobain (solo work), courtney love (solo work), wowaka, sabrina carpenter, carrie underwood, i listen to too much goddamn music i cant even remember half of the people i listen to 💀

musicals: heathers (both the off-broadway and west end), the outsiders (i wanna see it so bad but im broke), the trail to oregon, ride the cyclone, and be more chill (watching it isnt enough i NEED the book)

movies: the aforementioned heathers and the outsiders, but im a cheerleader, the hunger games (i havent finished any movie past the first one), the perks of being a wallflower, uh thats it

shows: the middle, reba, and bobs burgers. those are literally the only shows i still like other than a couple of episodes of murder, she wrote

books: the outsiders (i fucking love the outsiders), the giver quartet, the lunar chronicles, the hunger games (sunrise on the reaping comes out like two weeks before my birthday, yippie :D), a good girls guide to murder, 1984, animal farm, fahrenheit 451, brave new world (i love dystopias so much), the divergent series (not allegiant. tris was so insufferable in allegiant. i hate it so much. allegiant can go choke on a dick.), the inheritance games, heartstopper, solitaire (actually most of the books of the osemanverse.), the small portion of that one nancy drew book i read, theres way more but im gonna run out of room

thats ig

oh, and if it isnt obvious by my other posts and reblogs:

Free Palestine

Free Congo

Free Sudan

And

Save Ukraine

[acaciapines]

hey! for the fic ask game: 3, 5 (for the wolf 359 daemon au), 8, 38 and 42?

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

somebody being a least a little bit nonhuman <3 but more broadly i really like writing about human/animal dynamics, both in the nonhuman sense obviously, but also even in my daemon aus--what do humans say about animals? how much is true and how much is just something humans have put onto the animal, rather than what the animal is?

i also think i write a lot about grief, and the ways grief and trauma both can manifest in ways seen as 'unpalatable.' how youre supposed to survive these sorts of things, and how a lot of times the answer is that maybe things dont get better, but they do get different. ie i have a lot of bittersweet endings and i dont think that'll ever change.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

oooh ive always hoped somebody would ask what the hell doug-nix and miranda-alphaeus would get up to after the epilogues, 'cause this never got in there (i dont think at least), but i've always had it in mind that they move out eventually! get a place of their own, which would leave minkowski, hera, jacobi, and sometimes lovelace whenever she stops by living together.

i just feel like. miranda and doug are outsiders to that crew, yeah? neither of them remember the people they once were, so. might as well try making something new and better together.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

this one is particularly topical 'cause a song is actually the inspiration for the current fic i'm writing! grand canyon by the wind and the wave. literally such a frisk and chara song, ALSO a really good roadtrip song, so ive meshed those together and now im working on a post-pacifist chara&frisk centric roadtrip fic! coming out....idk. may probably.

i also think twelve feet deep by the front bottoms could make a real fun onesided dessriel fic. something about 'i get left out of every plan they make / that is what i have to do / to be the only kid from highschool who is still in love with you' REALLY gets to me.

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

i think the one that surprised me the most was garden of earthly delights, which was my madoka magica daemon au. seeing as its been Forever since anything madoka has come out (plus daemon aus are Not popular anymore lol), i didnt know there was still an active fandom there, but there WAS, and all my commenters were amazing and lovely and it was so fun seeing everyone trying to uncover the mystery in real time!!! if i had to guess WHY it got popular, i think i'd guess it was the aspect of mystery...something to keep people coming back and commenting!

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

the comments that always stick with me the most are the people who come to tell me that it was my fics (usually either i know im not well or alterhuman) that either helped them feel SEEN as otherkin/therian, or helped them discover that this was a thing they even could be. i think thats been one of the most rewarding things about sharing those stories. theres not a whole lot out there in the ao3 otherkin tag, yknow? and it makes me so happy to know i've been able to help people.

[comradeboyhalo]

Okay—you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to..! But I’m actually SO curious on your essay thoughts of q!Bad in 4halo fics. Because (I think) it’s kind of rare that q!Bad is depicted accurately in.. most qsmp ship fics. And I feel like q!Bad always becomes.. obsessed with romance with q!Forever in many 4halo fics?? Or super open + emotionally stable?? I don’t know how to explain it, but that’s why I’m curious of your thoughts (because I’ve read your fics and 100% trust your characterizations, especially of BBH cubitos <3)

hihi always down to ramble. and i agree, a lot of bad's flaws are smoothed over in 4halo fics, which makes him incredibly ooc. also, i dont think that these mischaracterizations are necessarily bad, i understand that in fluff fics (or angst fics, which im guilty of) sometimes theres no room in tone to fully capture all of q!bad's complexities. but that doesn't mean i cant have some gripes!

i dont think this is exclusive to 4halo, but 4halo is also bad's current biggest ship, so a lot of it just happens to fall on it. but i really hate how fanon!bad gets stripped down to a mere love interest who is just...very perfect in how he interacts with romance. he wants to go on cute dates, he confesses in a very sweet way. he is kind and nice and a little insecure, and is just so boring. its very much reminiscent of old skephalo fics, where bad is seen as "innocent" and then any other interesting trait of his gets stripped away. i also end up feeling im reading about a highschooler, when q!bad is 11k+ and cc!bad (obviously influential of his character) is in his late 20s.

again, i understand why people write 4halo on cute dates and first kisses. thats what fanfic is for! but i cant help but see the entirety of the ao3 page full of these very...allo-typical romance plots and think "...he would not fucking say that." q!bad is messy as fuck! if you don't interpret him as arospec, then hes at the very least repressed, and not in a cute YA romance way. a 1k fic of pining that ends in a nice love confession just doesnt convince me im sorry!

and then there's the blue diamond obstacle that gets in the way of 4halo monogamy....skeppy. again, i get why most 4halo shippers arent going to mention him, cause theyre just not into anything skephalo. i cant blame them for that. but im a master nitpicker, so ill still nitpick cause this is my blog. bad brushing over skeppy is ooc. bad acting as if skeppy is in the past is ooc. bad pursuing any form of relationship without including skeppy is ooc. bad choosing any other person but skeppy to be his #1 is ooc. and yeah it sucks for shipping if you dislike q!skephalo, but thats how it is and its not changing. and also any fics that push bad to "move on" from skeppy is just ??? not only is that his soulmate across lifetimes, but skeppy isnt dead? hes just not on the island? help??? bad has two hands, but one hand will always hold skeppy's and he's made that abundantly clear many times.

anyways im also not immune to q!bad butchering in 4halo fics! ill admit that, in writing the hanahaki au, i couldn't really find time to fit a lot of q!bad's humor into it, and he ended up more openly angsty and sad and vulnerable then he really is, or would ever be. so i totally get it, and im fine if other qbad viewers despise how he's written in it. however i will stand by the fact that q4halo would never pursue a traditional relationship together, and i chose the ending to be ambiguous because thats how i believe their relationship (and feelings) are: ambiguous. that's why, to me, 4halo is so good. i don't want to read about them confessing their feelings. i want to read about how their relationship is an undefined, confusing mess that will never be defined, and im just so surprised that there aren't more fics like that out there.

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

okay but hold me like you scared to sounds so good already (they all sound so good tbh but this one piqued my interest lol) what's it about? and for the fanfic questions 32, 50 and J :))

@frappe-the-peppermint WE GOT ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ahem oh wow who said that. anyway ill do the questions first then get into fic discussion…

32) Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

i listen to SO MUCH MUSIC!!!!! it depends on what im wrting tbh but i just queue up a bunch of songs in my liked playlist and write and write until it ends or im no longer on that flow. and well my music taste is an absolute mess so there isnt any one definitive band or genre that does it for me (i only pay attention Sometimes) but i suppose artists like mitski and queen would be a decent summary of my taste 😅

50) How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

gravity falls, no stop. the first one that ever piqued my interest was versability (originally on ff.net me thinks) and god damn it HOOKED ME!!!! gravity falls was already getting me up but wow that just got me SO MUCH HIGHER. i have a few authors i started binge reading like thesnadger and pinesinthewoods, i started extracting fics from reccs from tumblr artists, soon discovered ao3, and never looked back. and as for writing fic,,,,, well frankly it was the search for the cure’s original form that got me GOING!!!! it originally had crappy ocs as the forefronters but i soon changed that lmao (im definitely not saying theyre bad in general, just those… no) and i wrote So Much For It on my notes app. i didnt realize i culd actually show people until way later, in which i did, and realized that it could actually be better. thats why i reversed back to part one, made the story a part two, scapped the ocs, and…now we’re here. i still love it and gravity falls, i dont really show it here anymore. i really should, man. i need to write for them again!!!! it still excites me!!!! and the prose that im weaving now,,,, id DEMOLISH THE GAME!!!!!!! :)

J) what your favorite fanfic trope? have you written it?

honestly i think just showing you my favorted ao3 tags will paint a very detailed picture. here:

though i suppose if i had to pick one here…god its between time loop and presumed dead (and grief/moruning but idk if thats a trope so much as it is a theme). MMMMMMMM. mmmmm. just YES. the psychological affects of both being a time loop and thinking someone you love is dead but they arent actually are DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!! they are a MUST HAVE. i daydream constantly, but i havent written time loop yet because while i love it, i havent hadthe motive to write such a thing myself. reading is chill ✊ and presumed dead well i try to throw it is as much as i can, the most recent ive used being a west end town and my favorite being that one kid from jersey ! i need to do more of these fr. its just so GOOD!!!!!!

okay. its finally time for the brainwashing discussing of the fic ! i can tell you alllll about that story and it will be my pleasure sonny 🫡 its a very long story. but short verison in case you dont want to go on: its a Titanic epic . april 1912. iceberg. ive read a few that are AMAZING, but i wanted to write one that catered it allll to Me. it has lesbians, heaven sucking ass, flood parallels, and a king of the world AND draw me like one of your french girls scene. very nice 🔥

okay now its time for the long story. so a super super long time ago for a post i cant even remember (i really wanna find it 😭😭) i for someone reason went on a tangent about the titanic. i had just read this fic called sinking into the sea which was tbh VERY GOOD (and i would read it again fr fr ) but at the time, i was kinda bummed that aziraphale and crowley never actually Interacted when i had expected. aziraphale didnt even know crowley was there!!! it left me feeling melancholy, and realizing that all of the titanic fics ive ate up to that point didnt HIT hit the spot (i didnt find this after this realization, but again, theyre not even on the boat 🤧) so i was feeling a bit incomplete. i started ranting and ranting it was a wholeee wall of a text of what I would do with a titanic story and i realized oh wait i can Do Something with this because i haev free will and actual (somewhat) coherent skill. pepper jumped on the wagon, REALLY REALLY encouraged which i cant thank enough for, and….we’re here. its brewing. i had a very large interest in the titanic for a long time before this tbh, so being able to insert it into The Interest just JUMPSTARTED my brain and it still does to this day. now for the plot….

its 2020, a year after the apocalypse (no pandemic). anathema, newt, brian, crowley, and aziraphale have been assigned to plan adam’s 12th birthday party—they shenanigan, as you do. on the day of the party (adam’s birthday) anathema and newt find a chest in jasmine cottage’s attic full of titanic relics, including a pack of polaroid photos (handheld cameras did indeed exist in 1912, i checked !) which kinda might sort of have a photo of aziraphale and crowley!?!?! it was sent to them about six months before. but after the whole Second Volume fiasco, anathema just sort of wrote it off in that way and Hid It. but newt was curious, he found it, and god it was writtent his way wasnt it. (well, not by the nutter they were thinking of actually). anathema confronts them about itsoon after, and they all sit down to hear the story of the titanic in a sort of rose dawson beat. then its 1912—50ish years since the holy water incident and almost a century since the resurrectionists disaster. aziraphale has been assigned to take this trip to new york for Some Reason (we found out why later) and happened to invite crowley to come along to attempt to make amends after Allat (he really does feel bad, but he will NOT do the holy water thing yet </3) shit occurs, but history atlarge will not be rewritten. it does change their story, though. adding a sprinkle of interest in the device family line. agnes prophec(y)(ies), dancing on deck under the stars, playing cards with humans and winning by a Lot, aziraphale’s artistic skills are put to use at one point—ughghgufhits just so DEAR TO ME!!!!! and of course the conflict will come later, especially considering the religious connections to the titanic sinking—“not even God can sink this ship” type conversation 🥰 aziraphale can and will be made uncomfortable. its for the character development dont worry about it. i even have a playlist for this fic (it sorted by the way the tone shifts thru the story, some songs are silly but they had to stay). pep has also made some song covers to some of the songs that ive heavily connected to the fic and I REALLY FUCKING LIKED. LIKE A LOT. THEYRE AMAZING YOU SHOULD LISTEN IF YOU WANT TO!!!!

the point of all this is that i like titanic fics and im trying to throw my hat in the ring even if its just for me and my friend 🔥🔥 because while others have fed me, i havent seen ones that have documented like Every Single Day on the titanic that aziraphale and crowley would theoretically have as well as developing aziraphale and crowley’s relationship while taking into account whats happened before (insert the story into a part of the timeline seamlessly i think thats how i’d describe) AS WELL AS connecting the reason why the titanic was such a freak tragedy and how the world is not fucking fair instead of just “oh whoops the thing sank 😞” i want NITTY GRITTY DETAIL!!!!!! I WANT GUILT!!!!!!! I WANT CHAOS!!!!!!!! I WANT TALKING ABOUT GOD!!!!!!! I WANT AZIRAPHALE IN A MENTAL CRISIS!!!!! I WANT CROWLEY JUST WANTING TO FUCKING LIVE FUCKING PEACEFULLY!!!!!!! I WANT LESBIANS!!!!!! i need to get on this,,,, so much to do. i love it all and TY FOR THE ASK!!!!

[writing-hat]

hi hat!

firstly sorry for going silent for a while - im doing something thats really keeping me busy and i haven’t had the time to do much. speaking of which, i wanted to ask you for some advice - how do you go about writing your fics? like, in specific, how do you come up with your plot and follow through with it? i’ve been working on a new project but the actual “creating the storyline” bit is digging me an early grave lol.

also i wanted to ask - do you have any recommendations for other ninjago aus? (they dont have to be fics) im just looking for some interesting new stuff to hyperfixate over and thought you might know

thanks!

-smiley anon :)

hi smiley anon! Sorry for taking so long to answer (I'm forgetful and a bit stupid sorry)

answer under !

Regarding the ask before this one, I'm super glad you have your AO3 account!! I hope you'll have lots of fun writing in the future ! :D You're definitely always going to be hard on yourself in the future, that's completely normal! But you'll be proud of yourself once you manage to get through it all and write that story down!

Don't worry for going silent, I think I am much, much worse ahaha.

As for writing for my fics, I usually have an idea first that I write down then the scenes kinda happen in my head, and I always have something to write them down (phone or notebook) if I'm not on my computer right away. My plots come from those ideas that form in my head? Idk how to explain that but uh yeah and it's rarely followed through tbh, I often change things along the way

One thing I do is like okay, this will happen now, how might it affect in the future if it's something important? I really have no idea how to explain all that I'm so sorry I hope it still sorta helps

A storyline right away can be kinda complicated to handle, it's what I'm trying to do with "everybody loves somebody sometimes" which is why it's taking so long to be written. But if that's what you wanna do, go ahead! But don't overwork yourself

I have no idea for other ninjago aus omg I read too little yet the fandom does such wonderful job at creating stories and I unfortunately forget to read stuff. hah. (sorry everyone)

I'm kinda obsessed with jay so I'll tell you what I have so far about it (i'm not tagging anyone to not bother anyone)

@/mondothebombo "when you think you're all alone" for more skybound definitely. it's such a good fic but there's like 90% chance you already read it jksgseh

I would suggest Cabinet Man by @/spinjitsuburst, I have been loving the story so far though nothing's written yet but what's already up is super good!

The AUs from @/taddymason !! She has a dad jay au that's UGH so good I'm addicted to that story and also the fic stormbound!!! really great stuff plus incredible art you should check it out!!

There's @/finn-m-corvex for all the stuff about jay his work is just mwah chief's kiss (lots of angst too (they have the fic Would You Like to Enter Prime Empire which is super good so far and am very excited to see more of!! definitely check it out))

I feel so so bad for forgetting so many people's stuff there's so much aaaaaa but you should find a ton of them on tumblr!! so many talented people in the ninjago fandom and so many good aus you'll have your fun by looking in it

i'll answer your second ask now aefhgseg

[cinnamon-bunni]

hm... 4, 7, 11, 12, 17, 21, 22, 24! happy new year, bunni!

4. Total number of words you wrote this year That's hard to find tbh....I didn't end up posting a lot of fics, so i dont only have to just check my statistics on ao3, but all of my possible fics ive written this year in my wip docs as well. the total i got was 58,171 words (~35k of it being WIPs and not posted)! so definitely not as much as i wrote last year which was (i think over 100k), and also not including all of my notes ive written. i did not do a lot of writing this year, so hopefully next year i'll wrap up all of my big fics and post them all <3

7. longest completed fic you wrote this year Again, i did not write a lot this year, much less finish them lmao. if you were to ask about uncompleted fics, we would have a different story--but alas, the longest completed one was Once More, With Needles, sitting at 4,414 words!

11. fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year hm....obey me, I suppose. its hard to say really, but enjoyment from writing specifically, i'd have to give it to obey me. what can i say, the cast is just really fun to write (even when levi is impossible to write, like what the hell man i have rewritten your part in my undead fic like 3 separate times and am continuing fixing it, like what the hell man i trusted you and then you dont behave for me). like this year specifically i realized how much i love each and every character--those like lucifer reminded me as to why i love the game and the characters, and people like mephisto and raphael randomly won a spot in my heart. theyre all just so so fun to write <333

12. favorite character to write about this year lucifer!!! even though i only have like, one fic that features him thats out and finished lmao; hes such an interesting and complex character, yet is one whose mind i can easily slip into when i need to write when its his pov. idk, sometimes i find myself struggling to write characters like levi or even asmo sometimes--mainly from my own failures to pay attention to their canon interpretations and making them not out-of-character--but lucifer is surprisingly one i can always rely on to be easy and fun to write!! he is angst galore and so emotionally constipated, hes great <3

17. fics you’ll continue next year Heart Melts for sure!! i originally wanted ch3 to be out before the new year, but ive been drafting and redrafting all of my future chapters (i am trying my best to make it a psychological horror in order to match the tag that i put on the fic, but idk if its going to live up to the hype that people have for this fic ^^;;) so i sadly didnt get time to finish it. maybe by the end of January ill have it out--heres to hoping its done by then! and maybe i might continue Dirty? I didn't even update it this year lol--its def one i dont wanna leave discontinued, as i have all of the chapters planned out, but i just have many other projects that i wanna focus on and also i really wanna rewrite it, so ive been debating doing that first or just to finish then rewrite it. in a perfect world, i'll update that one too lol

21. most memorable comment/review I have two that come to mind!!! in all honesty all comments make me sooo happy, but these ones specifically is just,,,idk man, they just hit a certain way that itches that scratch in my brain that needs validation lmao i love rereading these all the time <3 theres these comments for Messy Makeup:

(make me go insane from them saying i wrote multiple fics that were their favorites <33) and of course there's this banger of a comment from @/snugglebunnies!!! idk if youre reading this but thank you thank you thank you for inspiring me so much with your fics!!! i love them so much, and this comment was just incredible! from the fic Heart Melts:

(love when people leave quotes, no matter how long or short!!!! such deep analysis is what i live for!!!!) and of course, sending out so much love to everyone who leaves a comment on any of my fics, no matter how big or small they are <333

22. events you participated in this year i didnt participate in any events this year! i tend not to do events tbh, theyre not really my style, as i dont do well with due dates unless i have months in advance lol;; usually i might do one, maybe two, events a year, but those are usually simple gift exchanges or something. nothing caught my eye this year, and ones that did i just didnt have the time to do, sadly. but! i do plan on doing the sonic big bang next year, which will be my first ever "bigger" event ive been in! exciting, but also really nervewracking as ive never posted sonic content and idk how well i'll do staying on schedule. but its still something i really wanna do (have a great fic planned for it!) so i still wanna give it a shot and do my best on it lol

24. favorite fic you read this year from this year is really hard to say--i think all of my favorite fics were found last year lmao so its a struggle to think of one. @heleentje's BOTW fic Moonlight has been a fantastic read (even though i havent finished it yet;;; i promise will soon!!) and just hits all of the right notes for me!! The batman fic Performance Piece is also definitely up there for me, as it captures so well what i want in my own writing when it comes to writing characters, especially when it comes to inner-dialogue (i might just go back and reread that one again lmao)

as of posting, i have about twenty minutes left before the new year. so happy early 2024!! 🥳🎉💝

[avidaraku]

Hi!!!! ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

welcome to my pinned post I honestly still dont know what to do with my blog like ever but still :) nice stuff. This blog contains whatever the fuck I reblog, including fandom and 18+ stuff - I do not tag my porn reblogs so if you're following me for fandom things, this is an all in one blog bc i do what i want <3 you are warned! leave if you dislike my beloved freak blog

|･ω･)

just be nice and kind babygirls, that's all i ask of <3 human decency lets go!!!! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

my ao3 account is https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daimashiko :) I like writing porn, my brain is constantly on khr mode :) I also never have any consistent name for my accounts, so thats also why my names are different. Hi to any discord friends who know me from well, discord <3 im sure u guys are familiar with my socials in this case

TAGS. ─=≡Σ((( つ＞＜)つ ／(＞×＜)＼

#my art (very self explanatory I am not a creative person with names?? sorryyyyy - i also considered making my art tag into artvidaraku but like. thats too much effort jklsjgkldKJDF:SJ:JKL:JK:LDG ;;)

#khr (that is my main fandom ofc <333 - overlaps with my art but also other people's khr stuff so haha... its a mess but oh well)

#poll (i like answering them! or just reblogging polls i wanted to volunteer in but its too late </3)

#lotta tags (i tend to comment a lot in tags but these are the ones where i usually write like. a lot of commentary to the point im like ohhhh i should tag this right? curious if anyone's ever went through them but also i've never talked abt these things so. oopsssss <3 - lot of it is kinda sad / depressing but usually i am pretty reflective. kinda?)

#animals (self explanatory. i love me some fucking creatures. respect nature babygirls i adore them fellas <3)

#tumblr classic (i love getting to see the classics / things i'd personally consider a classic on my feed)

#fandom (this one's pretty commonly used! yadda yadda, talks abt fanfic and stuff / sometimes i get disappointed with fandom but that's not new lol)

#fashion (i don't use this as much as I should be?? but if you want to check out what i think is fun / a vibe <3)

#avidarecs (****i literally just made this on impulse so there's not much rn but i want to share more of my recs for things in general! fandom / songs / whatever other thing comes to mind?***// will probably be rarely used? but you never know~)

there might be more tags I haven't included but from the top of my head this is it?? Might add more, i have no clue. But anyways back to my other interests and what I'm into!

media i like: khr (its number one bc i am unable to pry reborn's hands on my stupid silly little soul so i cannot escape even if i wanted to), slay the princess + scarlet hollow (games made by the same studio. i love the art and vibes sooo much and also the fanart is sooo beautiful), Jenna Marbles (i've been obsessed w her stuff recently and I hope she's having a good time w her dogs and Julien :), kpop (honestly its only just loona bc im tired and feel old as fuck despite only being in my 20s so i am not gonna get into another thing lol), and sanrio!!! i love my melody she's a cutie patootie <3

-probably more stuff I like but this post would be a lot longer

I'm certain its obvious but I am a proshipper (also i am always in rarepair hell girl HELP. but also i will chain myself to that random mix of characters without prompting. ah....), if you don't like proshippers, leave my page and block me <3

But anyways my fav tropes (i definitely have more i just cant think of them but in general im chill with lots of stuff!)

incest (i am so fr when i say somehow i always revolve around incest ships they're just soooo good. my brain is absolutely destroyed in favor of tasty fucking food. shout out to incest shippers you guys rock luv yall :3)

age gap / size difference (these tropes are lovers and they're already fucking each other within one yard of each other. good fucking food yk?)

any toxic/problematic food (necro + lolisho rights!!!) in general. i am just. yeahhhhhhhhhhh MMMM LOAD THAT SHIT UP. i also have very little memory but still whatever

genderbend - i know it's a dwindling trope in popularity but there is nothing better than mindlessly turning a guy chara into a girl like wow..... so hot.... <3 this has also been a long time trope i've adored and i'll probably never stop using it bc its just that good for me <3 mmm. girls. cute.

monsterfucker stuff is great! (does this include animal hybrids? im going to include it with that soooo)

i think this is enough, but also before you go explore whatever maze my blog is in bc i cant be bothered enough by my blog, i will also reblog things in tandem to politics / real world things (I support Palestine <3). Am American. Am Mess. But I hope the world is kinder even just a little bit more. This world is cruel, but I hope we can continue to offer each other support and love, even when times are harrowing as always.

(っ ᵔ◡ᵔ)っ have a hug/kiss!!!! (i like gifs hehe)

[what-if-doctor-who-was-yuri]

💭 ⛪️✨️

For ask game!

💭 Some character headcanons

ok so rufus is like 100% gay like ik hes mlm thats canon bc vincent but i dont think his sexuality is ever mentioned lmaoo so like + he would be a fan of like dua lipa n shit but like hide it so much and act like he listens to acdc and like clive is the only one who doesnt realise his music taste tbh

farah is defos like omni/pan romantic and greysexual + she defos checked ao3 n tumblr to see if there was rpf about her. she definitley wasnt going to read it. why do u ask

gary is transfem bc i said so rn (im bsing these hcs on the spot based on vibes ima be real) and defos experimented w dudes in like pallamistus equivelent to collage/uni and still fucks em sometimes so hes like hetroromantic/bisexual w preference for women also he learnt how to make coloured metal and then made pride flag swords (i dont think pallamistus would have many pride flags but i think there would maybe be a rainbow pride one + jason showed ppl pride flags from earth and started making it a bit of a thing by accident

⛪ Favorite deity

knowledge or healer r my faves bc like knowledge as a deity their domain speaks to me like yesssss facts n shit and then healer as a fuckin person is so cool like they use i belive its he/they or he/it since jason refers to them w they/them or it/its at some point idk which but like i just find em v v interesting i love em also death is such a cool goddess bc like theyre not a bad deity like other similar ones like pain and trickery n stuff which i just like symbolically like "death is not unnatural it is a force of good just like life"

i do have a bit of beef w the whole evil gods being purged out bc like mortals doing that like sure ig (but also like yall r piss scared of a god but u wanna kill em and yall have the balls to do that damn) but like the fact that ALL OTHER GODS ACTIVLEY HUNT THEM is a bit like why? yall r litteralyl forces of nature personified why are these ones bad dumbass why is pain exterminated why is trickery frowned upon WHY IS DISGUISE A BAD GOD????? and then FUCKING PURITY WHO IS TRYING TO DESTORY THE WHOLE WORLD TO BE TAKEN OVER JUST IS NEVER FLAGGED AS AN EVIL GOD??? like yes the gods know its decipt and cant say shit but like surley theres a god who that is within their purview to speak about??? like truth or some shit can reveal lies or smthn

damn thats another rant abt some worldbuildy thinks (im working up the post rn idk y)

✨ Coolest power (essence or otherwise)

ok so i think skill books r super super cool and also masivley underused like wdym theres fucking skill books and noone uses them like sure u need a whole new power to use em but like just make a ritual like cmon theres prolly a ritual for every cool ass essence ability and like jasons power that absorbs essences n awakening stones also gives him the skill book one like they r absolutley linked JUST FUCKIN RITUAL THIS SHIT UP

FREE KNOWLEDGE

HOW HAS NOONE MADE A RITUAL FOR THIS YET

oh also on the topic: knowledge prolly has a shit ton of skill books on like everything why dont they make skill books for basic skills like reading and writing and simple maths and do free rituals for kids to bypass the whole years long education system that fucks up kids mental states later on (the mental health but is more high school but still) like yes theres prolly a min age like essences n shit but like. just wait?? cmon its like fifteen years CMON oh also speaking of the min age is that like a last minute puberty thing or is it like a second magic puberty also surley it would be like "ur defos gettin fucked up" -> "prolly gettin fucked up" -> "maybe gettin fucked up" -> "no fuckedupedness now :3" (like normal)

soz that last one was a worldbuilding rant abt skill books goddamn i didnt know i had that in me wow

[dont-blame-it-on-the-kids]

Also @ anon like, idk the interaction on stuff is a lot different rn than it was when I was posting more steadily even just two years ago.

The likes to reblogs and comments ratios are wayyyy off on tumblr. And likes are good! But they don’t tell me anything. What did you like about it. What do you think happens next (I know some people don’t like predictive comments but this tells me if I’m laying out the story right! If I’m foreshadowing Correctly and How I want you to think!). What made you cry. Did you audibly react to what you read?? (My faveee is “I Yelled in my living room! How could you!!!! 😭”

And reblog! Please for the love of god. If it doesn’t ‘fit’ your blog make a #offbrand tag that people who don’t want to see it can filter out. But please please reblog thats HOW POSTS MOVE on Tumblr! It’s How they’re Seen!

Send me more asks like this! Tell me what you thought! Let me know if I’ve inspired you! I have a whole tag of old work and I get likes on them sometimes but again, really no one but you and me sees your likes on my post.

I’m gonna be honest here for a moment. @nyamadermont is always reblogging my old stuff and commenting in the tags. Nya is really a large part of why I came back. Because my stuff was getting Visible interactions.

For Ao3 comment! My most recent fic Wire. It has 22 comments listed. Ao3 reads comments weird and That’s me replying to Two Individuals. (One of which commented on Every Chapter! It was sooo encouraging to see)

If you need help commenting on Ao3 pick one line from the chapter that really stood out you. A line that made your heart sink or your gut twist or made you smile. You can out it in “quotes” and throw it into the comment box with “oh my god my heart! This lineeeeeeee” and I will accept that lmao I’d love that! Let’s me know exactly where I did my job as a writer lol.

TLDR:

Writing and reading fanfiction is a game of strip poker if you want to see more of me I’ve got to see more of you ☺️

Thank you so much for this ask anon!

[sollucets]

hi rowan! sorry to hear you had a rough day. for the writing ask game: how about 19, 28, and/or 39?

hello mel 💜💜💜 thank you for indulging me (game) i wrote. way too much. and it was a lovely distraction x

19. tell me a story about your writing journey. when did you start? why did you start? were there bumps along the way? where are you now and where are you going?

i will stick with only one of these i think, or this will be far Far too long, so: fic writer rowan, several starts

the first time i remember like specifically intentionally setting out to write something that counts as a story, on purpose & not for school, i am eight & i am handwriting in a composition notebook and i am writing oc/transparent self-insert fanfiction about the protector of the small quartet by tamora pierce. i am using the family computer to look up oc names on angelfire fansites. these are 100% The Days haha.

i do more stuff like that, later; i handwrite pages on pages of pokemon fanfic (make-ur-own region type thing complete with bad drawings of fake pokemon). i do a lot of this kind of thing on my own and for me, and then i am maybe 10 or 11 & i move that to forums (bulbagarden palletshipping thread…..,,,) this is baby fanfic writer rowan genesis, and posting on the internet before i was in middle school entirely killed my desire to do it for over a decade; i write often and a lot even outside of my work (ive completed nanowrimo three times!) but nobody ever sees it.

i get an ao3 in 2013 and post one doctor who fic but i am too scared and i orphan it right away. during a really intense media fixation i try again at the beginning of 2022 despite immense anxiety and find its not so bad. and then again for a different fandom a couple months later, and the response is such an immediate pickmeup & the writer friends ive made are so lovely that ive been trying my best ever since

28. who is the most delightful character youve ever written? why?

this is so hard. sobs. i like writing characters that have unique speech patterns, who like. make the narrative Sound different by being the pov character, which is something thats sometimes kind of hard about english-translated works (am i changing their cadence too much would they actually talk like that how much is my interpretation of the subs messing it up) so,,, i think for me i think the Most delightful characters that i always have the most fun writing are always characters like. avvy rasmr, who talks like a little fantasy spock, or anyone i can give talking quirks (like aye’s petnames). this is a copout u cant ever ask me my favorite anything i cant choose

39. what keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

you see most of the time i am aware that i love writing its something thats good for me as a person and i feel better when i do it even if its hard and the process occasionally sucks and in that way it is similar to like. taking a stupid mental health walk. you know. so,,,, if i can (sometimes you really just cannot. it happens. its okay) i just…. like….. honestly the ‘i’m being so brave about it’ mindset is good for this. be annoyed & bitch & complain but u still gotta do it and look!!! you did!!!!!

also selective giving up is good for you. have several things to choose from so if something stalls you Can give up, just a little, and go elsewhere for a bit

[nyaarr]

Hi, i just wanted to say quickly that im rlly inspired by your WFI series on ao3, so much so i wrote my own fics (id love for u too have a tiny look at them🙏). I just think it's really good, even though the ending left me crying a little😭 I wondered if youre going to do any more Anahardt stuff at all? I understand youve slowed down since ow isnt for you anymore, and thats totally understandable. I just had a few questions;

-Were there any ideas you had (old and new) for fics, or headcanons or stuff that never made it into an actual post/fic? If so what were they, id love to know

-Ik u said WFI part 3 wouldnt come out, but i was thinking if i could write it for you instead? As in, you tell me about your ideas you had for it, and why it never took off, and perhaps i could write it myself? sort of like a little reboot. if not its totally fine👌im not offended.

But yk, if you ever get any ideas of picking the hammer back up, dont hesitate to let me know. love ur work btw, super awesome!

Hii!

First of all, thank you! You're very kind :) I would love to read your stories, and surely other people here too, so hit us with the link.

Blizzard killed the love I had for Overwatch. Not for the characters, you know, but the game itself. They destroyed WoW first, then came for OW, and I'm pissed. I'm so pissed I uninstalled both months ago and grieved what we could have had.

I have a short anahardt story almost finished. :< It's another "they get together" type of story. I really enjoy watching them get close I guess :3

I also have another big story that I'll never finish: an OW + Pacific Rim crossover that was going to be about Rein and Ana. It's actually two stories, because I never could decide which plot I liked most, so... I kind of wrote both in paralell :_) I might actually post the first chapter as standalone one of these days.

I had a million ideas for WFI3 and 4, some of which were written down in different grades of completioness. Since I dropped the project quite some time ago, I only really remember that I put on paper.

WFI3 was going to be a mashup of short stories happening on different years instead of longer chapters. I wanted to cover around 20 years or so, and this seemed the best way forward. It was going to start from where WFI2 ended, kind of fix things so that they were in friendly terms again but strictly nothing more, and end it with Rein's retirement and Ana's death.

WFI4 was going to be more similar to 1 and 2, and was going to show what Rein and Ana were doing on their own before their met again.

One of the ideas I wanted to explore for Rein --which might have never worked, but anyway-- was having a big discussion with Jack about what happened with Ana at OW headquarters, and then snatching his armour on the way out and becoming a sort of a fugitive (an idea I got from Ironhardt). This was going to be a bit in line about what Sombra said about Brigitte not knowing stuff about Rein's retiremnt. He would be in hiding but helping people until the fall of OW, where the UN would stop actively looking for him. Then Brigitte would join him after he comes to the Lindholm's house looking like what the cat brought : )

They were to go here and there and answer the recall on Gibraltar. Torb and Bastion were going to be there, just like Jack and Ana (with their masks on), Tracer, Winston, and others, and everything was going to go to hell pretty quickly from there.

I envisioned Bastion and Rein's encounter a bit more dramatic that what Blizzard showed us. Blizzard always hinted at Rein having some sort of trouble with his memory and whatnots, which I was going to address at the end of WFI3 (the reason for it) and in WFI4 (where sometimes he thinks he sees and hears things, like a rogue bastion ticking or Ana's ghost -- which happen to be very real).

WFI4 would have some of the ideas of the Anahardt 2018 stories I wrote as well. Particularly the conversation they have where Ana explains what happened to her and why she did what she did-- with the difference Rein wouldn't have caved this time. I wanted Ana to work hard this time to get him back. He deserved it lol.

I wanted WFI4 Ana to be different in quite some aspects, after everything that happened to her. She wasn't going to know which memories she had were real. So in a way, Rein would understand what she was going through. And I wanted Brigitte to be fiercely protective of him, hissing at Ana, so to speak, and telling her to stay away.

I'm all happy that you find inspiration on my stories and that they make you write. If you want to continue what I started, go for it. I won't share my drafts or ideas in more detail, since whatever you write has to be your story, not mine, but the universe is out there so to speak. Go ham. Have fun. And share when you're done!

I'll give you a little parting gift though. The first bit of WFI3:

Sep 2056 -- Sweden

“Yes, I am sure.” Torbjorn rolled his eye, his patience obviously running thin. “It’ll be fine. Aha. Yeah, we have the SUV he borrowed from HQ. Ah, what now?”

There was a moment of silence so poignant that Reinhardt looked at his friend. He was glaring at the coffee table as if he wanted to disintegrate it, but then his gaze softened. 

“That’d be fine, I think. Thanks. Talk to you soon.”

He hung up with a flick of his wrist and leaned back on the bunch of pillows they were sharing in front of the TV.

“So…? What happened?” 

“Dr Shollner seems positive that you’d recover sooner since this time the rest of your leg is not in pieces.”

“That’s a relief!”

“He will perform the surgery in two days, back at the base.”

Reinhardt swallowed. That was not the plan. He was supposed to fly to Sweden, fix his leg in the hospital where Angela’s parents used to work. The whole point was not going back to Switzerland yet.

“I know, I know,” Torbjorn sighed, closing his eye and resting his hand over his midsection. “I tried, but it wasn’t negotiable. The good news is you’ll be back home with us the next day.” 

One night of being on bad drugs. He could manage that.   

“The better news is I’m going with you. So you better behave; I need my beauty sleep.”

“What? No. You need to rest. There’s no need to—I’ve got this.”

“Shut up. I said I’m going, and I’m going,” he snorted softly. “I can do some designing from home, but I’d rather bring some of my equipment here.”

“Designing?”

“For my arm,” he waved his hand, lazily. “And for your armour. No point in having surgery now if the armour is not helping you enough.”

Reinhardt shifted in the pillows. He was not sure how much of his plight was his armour, and how much was just wear and tear. However, he would take armour improvements with grabby hands. 

“And…” He started after a moment of silence, after noticing his friend was still frowning at whatever he learned over the phone. “Can you make it so that I could jump ah, let’s say, down from a building? Like taking a big plunge.”

“No! You should not be jumping off buildings. Wasn't last time more than enough?" The engineer glowered. "What’s gotten into you?”

“Ah, I was thinking it would be really cool if I could be deployed directly from the aircraft. You know, just dropping to the groooound, and boom!”

Torbjorn turned his head towards him, an indescribable expression on his face.

“No more brännvin for you. Or sugar.”

“Aww…"

[notafandomname]

Hey anyone wanna know the pointless data that I just found. Sure okay here we go:

Using AO3's tags, we can see that the hermitcraft smp has 14,042 fan works published. 1,241 of those are rated E. So that's 8% of hermitcraft works being explicit.

I compared this to the dream smp, which has 71,577 fan works, of which there are 3,037 explicit fics. So that's 4% of dream smp works being explicit.

As a more general overview I had a look at the Minecraft fandom tag and found that out of 102,507 works there are 6,019 works rated E, putting it at 5% being explicit.

OK so now why the fuck did I do this and also, does it mean anything?

One of the things I love doing on ao3 is going into different fandoms and seeing the general vibe of the works, I like seeing which ship is most popular, how many works it has, what the general ratings and warnings are, and what additional tags are most common. It's just a fun little thing and I like learning about different fandoms that I'm not a part of. I also really like seeing the additional tags, and seeing what fun little things pop up, because there's always fluff, angst and hurt comfort etc but I like seeing what else there is! There always some fun fandom specific tags to be seen.

Anyways, that's just the sort of thing I like doing, and another thing I like is seeing a specific or weird tag and clicking on it to find out what the deal is, how many works it has, what fandoms it's for etc. And anyways today I was having a look at an author that had written a lot of smut fic. And they'd used the tag mob fucking a lot (yeah, like the Minecraft mobs, for this unfamiliar with the concept). So ofc I was like "I wonder how many works that tag has" (it's 41 btw). And I noticed, scrolling through, that it was overwhelmingly hermitcraft under this tag, which I thought was odd, because I know dsmp is a lot more popular so I naturally assumed that for something Minecraft related, dsmp would have more fics. And that thought naturally progressed to fic tropes in general, if the dsmp has more works, surely it has more of everything, right? More E rated fics at least. So I did that maths, for curiosity's sake, and thats what I found! Smutfic makes up double the amount of fics in general in hermitcraft than in dsmp (those being the two biggest smp specific Minecraft fandoms on ao3).

This info,,, benifits no one, as far as I can tell, and is useful for nothing (except my own curiosity) but it is interesting just in terms of challenging my own preconceptions, and probably many peoples, on how just because something is popular doesn't mean it has the most of any one thing. And I was also surprised at how small the amount of E fics was in general, I think there's still this overwhelming generalisation of fanfiction being pornography of being an especially lewd sort of writing, and scrolling through ao3 it really does feel that way sometimes. But I think that's just because,, when we see something that has graphic tags, or an E rating, it just stands out more, you know? We remember it, it sticks in our minds, and makes it feel like there's more than there actually is (not that there isn't plenty).

I'm probably going to do more of this just for my own sake, and see how much of different fandoms have different percents of smut/E ratings,its really interesting.

Also disclaimer I'm not 100% certain that I did my maths right in getting those percentages (I did number of E fics÷number of fics overall, times 100, which I think is right but it's late so honestly who know) and I also was aware that plenty of smut gets published under not rated works, so I did a quick search for unrated works with the tags "smut" or "porn" but didn't come up with anything that significantly impacted the original data. Guys I'm meant to be writing a report it's due in in 40 minutes and I haven't finished it what the fuck am I doing with my life.

[prtfrmhrtbrn]

im ill and incapable of real genuine human thought so im just going to talk about one of my favourite drafts that im working on and its this

-regulus & evan fake dating, ft aromantic regulus, endgame rosewater qpp AND endgame rosekiller.

-yeah im hitting evan with the polyamory beam. ITS CALLED PROJECTING!!

anyway its one of my favourite things in my google docs. some fun facts about it:

•barty & evan BOTH already like each other. evan also knows barty likes him back but thinks hes too much of a coward to say anything and his first thought is “okay, i’ll fake date somebody about this”

•oh and also regulus is just like “i mean alright i guess”

•regulus tells barty immediately. hes like “honest to god get your shit together” and barty is like “literally why would you do this” and regulus is like “i thought it would be funny”:

•you guys are all ALWAYS forgetting that if sirius pretty much raised regulus HES GOING TO ACT LIKE A TWAT SOMETIMES i love regulus being an absolute menace

•qpr. thats all i need to say. as a member of a qpr it is one of my all time favourite relationships in my life and i think not enough people write them. i ALSO think not enough people write aro characters as capable of emotion!! 90% of the time (in my experience!!) theyre just aro because the author couldnt think of a pairing for them and they felt bad. so anyway i changed that for this fic. and also in like… 3 other fics in my drafts. i love being in a qpr im in a qpr hey did i mention im in a qpr this post goes out to my beloved partner even though they will never see it

•sirius. sirius. sirius. i dont know WHAT it is about the black brothers but every single time i write ANY fic with either of them in they end up talking to each other. i cant stop them. im just writing and they say “we want to reconcile” and i say “that wasnt one of my plot points…?” but its too late! theyre already talking!

•regulus being SUPREMELY confused when he realises he likes evan <3 with the focus on the fact that he can still like him without it being romantic!! he has no idea what a qpr is but he’ll get there

•regulus GOES TO SIRIUS FOR HELP!! and sirius is like “ok i will help you” and regulus is like “what why” and sirius is like “do you want help or not tbh”

•but also regulus is like “ok so i have a fake boyfriend” and sirius is like “you fucking what”:

•the segment with sirius features a LOT of complaints from regulus (that part is his pov! it changes throughout between barty, reg & evan though) about the red of the gryffindor dorms. he is so upset by them:

•barty immediately notices when regulus accidentally catches feelings. hes like “…you thought this would be funny but it went like normal fake dating didnt it” and regulus gives him a very sad looking nod and says “i wont stop you dating him i still dont know what it is” and barty is like “getting over evan is too much work and id know, if he wants us both he can bloody well just have us both”

•spoiler alert for the fact that he does <3

-anyway. not much of this is written but i just wanted to talk about it! my dear best friend and the platonic loml is anti reg/evan (she could never get me) so… tumblr has to hear about it instead!

-oh also my fake dating experience is based in a little too much truth about my life (i did it) (its how i got with my partner) so! you know. you can trust the authenticity?

-thats all. i needed to get this out of my SYSTEM but it might end up on ao3 <3 anyways if youre a rosewater-er my ao3 is SUCH a safe place for you. my marauders pseud is hellenistic & my main is apartfromheartburn (but dont go there because its all anime fics i wrote 3 years ago) so my marauders fics can as such be found under hellenistic (apartfromheartburn). id link them but also i have a headache that will kill me if i stare at my phone acreen any longer so! thats not happening. end of this post! bye bye <3