#i hope those can get their money back
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Silly idea I talked about ages ago with @azure7539arts, inspired by a similar event my workplace hosts every year. Would minors be allowed to participate in such an event? Probably not! But then again, it was the 80s, who can say for sure. Anyway, it's my birthday and I'll post nonsense if I want to <3
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âI need you to buy me.â
Eddie looks up from his notebook, effectively jarred from his campaign-plotting fugue state by Steveâs declaration.
Steve is standing at the other end of the dining table, staring at him expectantly.
âYâknow, this is the part where someone usually follows up their completely bonkers demand with an explanation,â Eddie says slowly.
âAt the charity auction,â Steve clarifies. âI need you to bid on me, and I need you to win.â
Ah, yes, that weird Rent-an-Athlete charity auction the school runs every year; anyone on any Hawkins High sports team could volunteer to be âauctionedâ off in order to raise money for said sports team, to spend a day at the beck and call of the highest bidder (within reason, supposedly). Itâs generally restricted to students, but occasionally, prominent alumni are invited to participate â and Steve certainly fits the bill, especially after the story the government spun about his heroism in the face of âserial killerâ Henry Creel last spring.
âAnd what, deny all those pretty girls a chance to get at you?â Eddie asks drily (heâd never turned up at previous auctions himself, but you could hardly avoid gossip in a school their size; it had usually been some cheerleader bidding with daddyâs money who won a dateâ that is, a day with Steve Harrington).
âIt wasnât always a girl who won,â Steve says, crossing his arms over his chest. âOne time it was Mrs. Dalton â you know, the lady on the school board who lives on my block? I just spent the day doing yard work for her. She gave me lemonade. That was pretty cool.â
âRight,â Eddie drawls. âAnd Iâm sure she definitely didnât sit outside and stare at your ass while you were working.â
âShe did notâ sheâ I mean she was on the porch, but, likeâ she wouldnât haveâ sheâs, like, seventy, Eddie,â Steve splutters, and itâs all Eddie can do not to laugh.
âOlder gals have needs, too, Steve,â Eddie says, giving in to a smirk. âSo she was checking you out from the porch, huh?â
Steve goes red. âShut up, that isnât the point. Iâm trying to ask for your help.â
âRight, right, your absolutely reasonable request for me to buy you at market. Why, again?â Eddie asks.
âThe kids are planning to bid on me,â Steve says gravely.
Eddie blinks at him. âOkay?â he says, when no further explanation is forthcoming. âYou basically do most of what they ask, anyway, soâŚ?â
âOkay, believe it or not, I actually say no to at least half of what they ask me to do. I would literally never get anything done if I gave in to all their demands.â Steve jabs a finger at Eddie, who holds up his hands in mock surrender. âAnyway, this is all Hendersonâs fault.â
âIt usually is,â Eddie agrees, nodding sagely.
âHe decided that he was going to bid on me and then use that day to finally make me play your nerd game with youââ Eddie snorts, and Steve shoots him a look, âbut Wheeler doesnât want me to play, so he said he was going to bid against Dustin and make me do anything but sit in on a session with you guys.â
âSo let Wheeler win.â Eddie shrugs.
âNo! I canât let fuckinâ Mike win, heâll probably make me do something even more ridiculous!â Steve exclaims. "Heâll make me play chauffeur for him and El on a date, or something, and heâll probably include the stupid hat.â
âWait, I thought El broke up with him,â Eddie breaks in.
âNo, theyâre on again,â Steve says absently, shaking his head. âWhich is why Max has been in a bad mood lately.â
Eddie bites back the reflexive need to ask âHow can you tell?â, going instead with, âI thought she and Sinclair were on again.â
âNo, they are. Thatâs why no oneâs been actively murdered,â Steve says.
âHow do you keep track of all of this?â Eddie asks, squinting at Steve.
âItâs a natural skill. And weâre getting off track,â Steve says quickly. âNormally, I wouldnât be that worried, because Dustin regularly blows his savings on weird science gadgets or whatever, but then Lucas and Will started taking sides.â
âThis is getting very involved,â Eddie says.
âSo you see why Iâm stressed!â Steve insists, smacking a hand to his forehead (personally, Eddie thinks Steve is stressed for many other reasons, but he figures pointing that out just now wonât be appreciated). âLucas is on Dustinâs side, and that kid does odd jobs like nobodyâs goddamn business; he actually has shit saved up. And usually Iâd have faith in him being more, like, sensible than to spend it all on this, but the little shit is really fucking competitive.â
âWonder who he got that from?â Eddie mutters.
âOkay, we do remember that Iâm not actually biologically related to any of these idiots, right?â Steve snaps.
âWell now weâre just getting into nature versus nurtureââ
âEddie.â
âRight, sorry, continue.â
âWell, Will took Mikeâs sideââ
âShocking.â
âRight? But anyway, I donât know if the kid has much saved up, but between him and Wheeler, they might be able to win.â Steve sighs, looking far more world-weary than Eddie feels the situation really warrants.
âYou know you donât actually have to do what they ask you to, right?â Eddie points out.
Steve rolls his eyes. âIf an auction winner complains to the school that the person they bid on didnât fulfill their end of the bargain, they can get their money back. Itâs a wholeâŚâ he waves his hand vaguely, âthing. Happened once when I was a sophomore; Deacon McNab. Lost a good chunk of change for the football team, and they vandalized the shit out of his car.â
âAh, right. Forgot we went to school with literal psychopaths,â Eddie hums.
âSo, I just need you to bid on me and win, so Iâm not stuck wasting a Saturday on whatever the hell the kids are going to try to make me do. Or not do. Orâ whatever,â Steve says.
âOkay, not that I donât understand your predicament here, but I think youâre forgetting something kind of important, Steve,â Eddie drawls.
Steveâs brows draw together in question. âWhat?â
âIâm fucking poor.â
âOh.â Steve shakes his head. âI didnât meanâ no, I will give you the money, you donât have to spend a dime, man, I just need you to get me out of this.â
âWhy not have Buckley do it?â Eddie asks.
âThat was Plan A, but she actually has a date that night, and itâs kind of a big deal, so I donât want her to cancel,â Steve says. âBut I assumed you wouldnât be busy.â
âWow, rude,â Eddie scoffs, and Steve sighs.
âFine, sorry, I just really hoped you wouldnât be busy.â Steve gives him the most lethal set of puppy dog eyes Eddie has ever seen, as if there had been any chance from the beginning that heâd be able to say no. âPlease?â
Just for show, Eddie lets out a long sigh, falling against his chair and letting his head flop over the backrest like heâs deflating.
âFine.â
âThank you,â Steve groans, sounding so genuinely relieved that Eddie almost feels bad about how quickly his thoughts dip into the realms of the inappropriate. âOh my god, I owe you.â
Eddie glances back up at Steve, tongue darting out to wet his lips almost unconsciously. âYou know Iâm not as easy to appease as a couple of fifteen-year-olds, right?â
Steveâs eyes drop for just a secondâmaybe down to Eddieâs lips, maybe not; who can say?âbefore he looks back up, cocking an eyebrow at Eddie. âI think I can handle it.â
Slowly, Eddie grins. âWeâll see.â
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve & the party#stranger things#solar wrote#this is very silly but I had fun writing it so I hope it's a fun short read#obviously Eddie does win the auction (surprisingly stiff competition; he may or may not end up throwing in a little of his own money#even though none of the kids are the top bidders at that point)#and then you can choose your own ending:#either Eddie chickens out and just asks Steve to play roadie for the band on their next gig night#but it works out in his favor anyway because he gets to spend the night watching Steve lifting and carrying and being supportive#while Steve gets to watch the band perform and is lowkey starstruck by Eddie and they smooch about it at the end of the night#OR; Eddie demands the same treatment Steve gave those cheerleaders who won a date with him back in the day#he's sort of joking but Steve takes him very seriously and takes him on a date so sweet and fun that Eddie is almost mad about#being swept off his feet by it#and at the end of the night Steve walks Eddie to his door and Eddie asks if the treatment ends here#or if Steve did anything... else for those girls#Steve; eyebrows raised: Are you asking if I slept with those girls for money?#Eddie; blanching: WAIT SHIT NO-#Steve: Nah I'm kidding. Come inside and fuck me#and Eddie does
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1 year since i got scammed by nintedno leaving me forever yearning for a game we will never get and an extreme worry for the future
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#dont think they will learn anything#i know its pessimistic but like#as if the critics were in any way as loud or popular as those worshipping it#i feel so bad for having contributed twice to its sales and earnings#i bought it normally (later sold that to a coworker) and the collectors#which i sold but i only got back the money a normal new one would have cost#and it was also only bc i was buying sth else and it was literally in prime condition#like he said it wouldnt matter bc he cant give me more but then even he said holy shit thats literlly like unopened lol#i mean ... most of it was never opnened xD just took the game out once and put it back once thats it#i feel extra scammed bc it was the first and only collectors edition i ever owned#and i dont think i will ever buy one again#and might regret that#i still wish i had known how much i liked botw to get its special one ... but i didnt have the money back then either way#but id rather miss out on that than spend so much money on sth i will forever regret having spend money on#and i worry for the future bc the âstory is the least important partâ guy and âlol you can only like the old games bc nostalgiaâ guy-#-being in charge of the franchise arent giving me much hope for anything better#especially after totks success
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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee#i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to#itâs weird because iâve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) iâm realizing that oh! i think itâs because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar#space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder#but i will surviveeeeeee#counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim#fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and#watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself#i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik itâs gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting#can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i#i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes đ so i need to like remember if i donât journal or read a whole book in a day#not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully#i wonât feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe thatâs why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up#i hope everything goes well#anyways bye bye#⥠dear diaryâŚ
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dude im
i think this is the first time in... as long as i can remember that life's actually going well. like sometimes life just Goes By until something bad happens or whatever... but like, ive had a lot of pretty good days in the past month ish? ive gone to two really amazing local shows recently, plus some other concerts, im seeing my favorite band next week, i might be making merch for another one of my favorite bands.... and yeah ive had shitty days and i got sick but like.. i remember those days well so the inbetween is just, that.. the in between... god idk becoming more involved in my local scene has been so fucking surreal..
#like its hasnt been great weeks back to back but#ive had really great experiences? yk#so like... those mainly stick out to me bc of my memory issues#and like.. ugh#i dont even know it just feels like things might actually start getting#fun#ever since i went to my first incubus concert i like... knew i wanted to fucking go to as many as possible#and thags coming true!#ive found so many local bands i absolutely fucking love and theyve become what i regularly listen to#which makes that so much easier#and im hoping to eventually get my license because like... i need to start drivinnt#which will make traveling easier#if i do get to sell shirt i can make money#and stickers#and just#idk im actually excited for the future for the first time in so longm#like.. i know So many people like concerts#but just like#theyve genuinely given me a reason to live#i love seeing people at shows and i love taking photos and meeting the bands and just everything about it#i met a guy whos been to two shows i have and i got his insta n like#that shows that like hey maybe i can find a group of people to go with yk?#even if its not him or whatever#i still want to try and make a movie one day but i really am considering working for bands and shit cause like#i dont want to be rich i wanna live w a couple people and travel and actually Live#as long as i can pay the bills and get gas im okay#i mean fuck im even willing to stick around my home town longer if it means that i get to do that shit yk?#idk im rambling but whatever#just like#fuck im so thankful to have found a place i genuinely enjoy and most of the time can express that pretty easily
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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I just found a clinic nearby that does gender-affirming surgeries so top surgery might actually be a feasible thing for me in the near(ish) future
I found a job that seems to have all the stuff I liked from one of my last jobs without the extra bullshit I didn't (can't apply for it currently but that kind of job exists and that's reassuring)
Things might be starting to look up for me
#personal#i would have to use the money i saved up for college for the surgery and i dont know what kind of wait list they have going on#but i dont have enough money to get the kind of degree i want anyway here#so i might as well drop that money on something meaningful to me instead#not having much luck figuring out the getting back to therapy thing atm and im not going to assume these things on their own will fix me#but damn if they wouldn't help#and if i can get back into work i can move back in with my old roommate#(as far as i know my room's still available id just have to talk to him about it once ive got money to offer for bills again)#and with this kind of 'stay at home until there's work' job itll mean im not spending all my energy trying to survive the day#so i should still have some left over for doing the things i love doing (without having to worry about those things being able to make mone#god i havent felt this hopeful about my prospects in a long fucking time#maybe i can still make a place for myself
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Okay i have yet to see a post about this that isnt filled with ppl being Annoying as Fuck on it, but,
theyve found wreckage of the submersible, it imploded (thank god, thats better than a drawn out suffocation over the course of several days, implosion means it was pretty much instantaneous) and the us navy have revealed they heard a weird sound on sunday from about where communication with the sub was lost, that was probably the sound of the implosion, [implied that they didnt say anything cos they didnt want to jump to conclusions without evidence of a wreckage, if there was a chance they were still alive.] no idea what the banging sounds were.
I do hope rescue efforts are extended to the migrants off the coast of greece, and am angry and horrified at their mistreatment, and that the media clearly cares less for their fates than that of the billionaires on the sub.
also, while i have you here,
The difference between a submersible and a submarine is not that one is safer. The titan was a submersible that was unsafe, but that is not because it was a submersible.
A submarine (or sub) is a watercraft capable of independent operation underwater.
A submersible is a watercraft designed to operate underwater, usually supported by a nearby surface vessel, platform, shore team or sometimes a larger submarine.
submarines generally dont go as deep as our deepest submersibles, but some can be down there for months at a time bc it is like. a self sufficient Ship. not all submersibles can go crazy deep, but to my knowledge, the only crewed vessels that can go that deep, are submersibles. (Alvin, deepsea challenger, limiting factor, trieste, fendouzhe or "striver").
#toy txt post#titan submersible#if ppl start being annoying on this post. ill turn off reblogs and block all of you. make your own post.#reblog the other ones where people are already being annoying#yes i hate billionaires. but im glad it was a quick death. it was a horrific situation. hope those migrants are given support and help.#i hope oceangate is fined to hell and back and bankrupted and never gets to put anyone in any sort of vehicle ever again#especially not in the ocean. im a little glad that ceo is dead in his own stupid sub im just frustrated he was able to take other ppl with#him. the fact that he was able to operate that unregulated non safety standard meeting ass vehicle and charge people money to ride in it is#fucking insane and unconcioable however you spell that#and now i need to go shower real quick and try to get like. a little over 3hrs of sleep. which will suck but i did accidentally nap for#like? 2 hrs already so it doesnt suck as bad as it could. goodnight please dont be stupid on this post please please please#if you have a hot take on the situation im begging you to hot take it Some Where Else! thank you! good bye#im not gonna bother linking shit feel free to fact check just fuckin. google titan submersible. James Cameron is tossing his 2 cents in now#saw 2 separate articles on that already. thats fine i guess he has been down there in safer vehicles so i guess he can shit talk how unsafe#it is. anyway. saw someone in the comments of a post say it was a submersible bc it was too unsafe to be a submarine and i wanted to start#screaming. thats not what those fucking words mean! at all! god!#irl death#idk what else to tag#behave. bye
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun đ. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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A weekâs vacation starts tomorrow. Minus Halloween, of course, because I love working Halloween at the store enough I requested to work it. Iâm up to two kids who already are clearly living in their costumes: one in a Sonic Onesie with matching yellow crocs decked in sonic-themed jibbitz, and one Batman with the built-in foam muscles on a maybeâŚseven year old and five year old respectively? Best part of Halloween for me, honestly, seeing the kids who are going to *be* Spider-Man or whatever until Thanksgiving when their parents finally go TAKE THAT OFF WE HAVE COMPANY COMING.
Got cleared for the Jedi costume as long as Iâm bladeless and the saber stays on the belt, so thatâsâŚhonestly, easy, but also feels a little weird because itâs like âoh cool what do I do with the time, now?â Like, I debated making a togruta headdress for it but decided not to just in case itâs âscaryâ for the real little ones.
Carâs still needing to go to the shop because it wonât start and the hood latch is broken, and my sick time from the Week of Mystery Dysentery has come up mysteriously short a hundred bucks from my already not so great paycheck, and car insurance had to be paid.
So it looks like Iâm spending a week inside cooking two big meals to make use of the pantry stuff that just got cleared, with MAYBE a third if mom feels like eating chopped liver with me if I make it, and seeing how many paper cranes I can make to contribute to the thousand.
âŚItâs so weird working so hard to get full time for so many years, and now the benefits are slightly annoying and way less helpful than the guaranteed hoursâespecially since the home situation is so toxic and Iâm trapped, unable to go anywhere.
#bit of a vent post I guess#main plans for the week are to cook and maybe start planting the cranberry beans#the weatherâs still a little warmer than Iâd like for them but hopefully the purslaneâs helped the soil enough.#At least Iâll be home tomorrow to argue why my instruments shouldnât be thrown out.#Iâm just so tired#maybe Iâll wander and do some more intense PokĂŠmon Go than usual#I might see if I can up my output to fifty cranes a day while on vacation.#got ninety bucks to my name until Halloween after bills. so I guess Iâll use it to feed everyone and give myself something to do#this close to taking money out of the savings and buying an electric bike so at least I have more range on my wandering#but thatâs a thousand bucks or so and another argument about storage for it I guess#Iâm just really tired of not even having a room to myself I guess#hereâs to hoping in four months I have at least a place to stay and can empty the storage unit#the big dream at this point is just to have a place to set up my full library for the first time in years#and then be able to deal with the grief of going through everything and deciding what stays and what goes#itâs weird realizing some of those boxes Iâve been unable to open or even look at for a decade#because of yes. loss of a person#but also loss of the idea of the Dream Job I always wanted#and the realization that even if I went back to it now Iâd be making about the same amount but would be in debt from college#anyway. on Thursday I get to be a Jedi. I guess. for a day that means I get to be the teacher I always wanted to be.#barring that maybe yâall will like to gaze on my curry
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i hate that i always get frustrated all the time.. im unable to enjoy my hobbies or going out with friends.. it's like im very much obliged to programming all day and i dont have any life outside it i hate it honestly
#not to blame my college but it's literally the very reason i started working all by my own limiting any social interactions and hobbies#yet i dont even feel like im going anywhere with this i feel so fucking shitty all the time it sucks#all because i fucking hate this college and this fucking course and i just want to get out of this hellhole i dont belong here#if only i could start over from high school again if only i got my shit figured out back then#if only i had a better mentor who would help me with my entrance test prep...#i wish i didn't trust those asshole hs teachers they literally fucked my life over.. all they care about is how much paid they're getting..#..and not how much they're teaching their students.. fucking assholes i hope y'all burn in hell i hope you guys get what you fucking deserve#for fucking over lives of several students like me just for money#well... just gonna cry myself to sleep now what else can i do#i cant change the past anymore better work towards the future
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To get good at telling stories... writing stories... one must... practice by writing stories ;-;
#rant#i tell u what i think id have functioned well in a wrbnovel publishing format. but i dont think#any good sites for that exist in english as of yet? (i think theres one but its contract is Yikes i heard)#but just like. the idea of publishing chapter ever 1-2 weeks until youre done. maybe 20 chapters maube 2000. maybr you never finish.#most of the chapters free and maybe idk you make some advertizing money on ads viewed on your chapter page. or make the last couple extras#paid only idk. but the big thing? the point im getting to - sorry i got lost in the sauce -#my point is: you probably DO write shit at first. or write fine with some SHIT ARCS or rushed chapters to hit ur weekly updates#and 5 years from then youll look back and wanna overhaul some of those fucking stories (weve seen many a jjwxc writer revise later).#but wow will you have practiced writing a LOT.#youll have 100k 500k 1 million 5 million words worth of writing under your belt in a few years#and youll probably be a hell of a lot better at knowing how to make more chaptwrs on average interezsting and Building Consistently to your#main plot and arcs. you'll probably get much bettwr at raw scheduling of wriitng and pre-planning that works for you and structure mapping#youll have a much better idea of your personal strengths whrn you need to lean on them for a rough month when your story's turned#into a mess. youll value your own writing more (i hope) cause LOOK how much you fucking accomplished.#like. npss? dmbjs author? idk about others but i can definitely see the improvement in wriitng skill#between dmbj book 1 and the recent heihua book and mountain village book#(in terms of style in word choice. and goals for the story set out to be told)#i look at priest and newer novels by priest are as impressive as any literary novel ive ever analysed#(and older ones while i also love i do see their slightly rougher word choice and how some were executed a bit#more up and down/not as tightly)#i just. agh. i am :c feeling that ill probably write 200k words this year#and none of it will be as good as i want. but i NEED to write these first 200k#because the only way i get better. get to the way i want to write. is to make the progress of improvement with this first 200k.#ToT fun fact i wrote 170k words this year. WOW. and maybe 400k words of fanfic in the 4 years prior (so 100k words on average)#i know i am imptoving. i just gotta keep at it.#also? annoying i cant focus my attention lmao. 160k words is mkre than enough to finish a 1st draft novel#but me? i split those among like 20 projects this year. so the novel most written so far is still only at 40k#and im probably going to need 60k more words to finish it
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Been finishing up act 2 of bg3. It's a good thing I find the battle systems so fun bc Hoo Boy there sure do be battles
#speculation nation#im going the epic hero direction this run. mostly bc i care about saving innocents' lives as much as possible#which means Killing Necromancers...... ugh.#cloudkill my beloathed. me n my homies hate cloudkill (used against us at least)#i got my vampire kicked into a fucking CHASM i had to reload a save đđđ#he's been phenomenally unuseful in these fights bc theres so many people and so few places to hide#usually hes one of my biggest damage dealers. and sometimes he can get a good shot in#but a lot of turns hes just firing one dinky lil arrow and then hiding in the corner#...... i keep forgetting about the fancy arrows. i have so many of those. i should try to remember them when i get to the Big battle.#which. hmmm. we r gonna hope it's not Too difficult a battle. ive been able to get thru every battle so far in this game#turns out im Pretty Damn Good at this game. to the point where i'll brute force it and still end up fine.#the literal only battle i had to leave and go back for was the big spider queen thing in the bottom of the well. she was scary.#im level 9 now tho and full of so much guts n grit. and loot. holy fucking shit the loot.#im looting every body (including fallen allies. sorry guys ur gold's goin to a good cause.)#i have karlach with a like 460 carrying capacity but she STILL keeps getting encumbered. from all the armor.#im making fucking Thousands off this tower capture im gonna have so much fucking money#once i leave here and can actually. sell them all đ#anyways i have been having fun! had to stop for the night bc it's late. but i will be killing thorny ass tomorrow. mark my words.
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Levanter anon: sounds like SM Entertainment is having a chaotic time once again.
On a more lighthearted note, if you look at the graph of SM stock prices going down, it looks like a cat now. 'Tis the EXO-dus cat!
But jokes aside: what will happen to EXO now? How many group members would be left in the company (assuming the don't also leave after the first group of members)? Where will the leaving members go?
Also, will this affect other SM groups? I am not the most familiar with them, but I hear SM groups are very interconnected, with NCT and Superm and everything. So will other groups have members leaving?
Hello!! they sure are hahahhaha
omg we love<3 jfjfdj exo's legacy :')
So there currently Chanyeol, Sehun, Kai, Kyungsoo, Suho and Lay are still contracted with SM. Chen, Baekhyun, and Minseok are still in exo of the moment - they've left the company not the group and so unless there's official word after all the legal stuff that they've left the group - they are still in the group! the contracts will be them individually contracted as SM artists, not as members of EXO so they don't lose that when the contracts gone until SM declare it. Sehun... is unpredicatable so i can't say anything for sure đ but he is basically sitting back atm with popcorn watching it go down so i imagine that whatever the outcome he will step up and try something himself hahah the others i truly don't know! Kai fucked off to the military right as the drama's happening so we won't get his news for a while đ the contracts are kinda frozen/extended over military enlistment periods i've noticed so he won't be doing anything until it's over. The leaving members are very likely going to go get signed to other labels/ set up their own ! i can imagine they have a plan, and considering they're suing together at once i can imagine they have a plan together! it would be great for us fans to have them sign to the same company but you gotta remember this is their first free decision about their career they've prob ever gotten so they should go with what they want individually and find companies that will suit them and work well with them<3
oki so I think there's a lot that could happen if u compare it to other groups! they could definitely do a got7 where they are in different companies focusing on solo stuff but manage to do a full-member comeback by organising it themselves between all their companies (if only once or twice </3). Or you could look at snsd. snsd came back through SM but 3 (?) of the members aren't under SM anymore - it was just something arranged between all companies involved and i can imagine that the non-SM girls got well compensated đ but yeah - something like that could happen if there's some relationship between the members and SM... which doesn't seem particularly likely considering the lawsuits but anyways it's a possibility hahaha!
about other SM groups! it will be affecting poor taeyong trying to promote his solo atm thru all this drama đ and as you said about the stock prices - that does inhibit the other groups. However, if they win the lawsuit, one can only hope that would encourage better artist treatment and fairer payout around the whole company!! and if SM don't do it themselves, the other artists would have tonnes of info on how to beat SM in a lawsuit đ so we can hope they use it well<3 but yeah - the icky thing about companies is that although they are all artists with similar contracts, the treatment and payout could be extremely different between all the groups :(( and within the same group (read: luhan and tao lol). and good old misogyny when it comes to rv<3 so each SM artist could have a different experience and some could have it much worse than others.
okay so i just read some articles and it's so funny djfgjjdfgj what i'm understanding is.. cbx were like 'yo can u provide us with the info on how we've been paid for 12-13 years' and sm are like 'no. i don't want to.' and sm are CONVINCED that some other evil company leaders have been talking to exo and getting them to sign with them and illegally go against their SM contracts. which very much could be true but it's not illegal to have discussions with other employers jgjdfg and SM are still like 'we have your best interests at heart, not those evil outsiders!'. ... they r so funny fkgkd. also their contracts were literally 12-13 years long... not the usual 7 recommended by the government.... and the contracts they r terminating were written in nov/dec 2022 and were extending them another 5/6 years...and SM's current defence is "no ur lawyer doesn't know the law properly we aren't in the wrong".. so .... unless some miracle is pulled I don't see SM coming out of this well since they're not rly cooperating at all.
but yeah.. i don't see a swarm of artists leaving SM happening, mostly because a lot of them won't have the luxury as EXO have to do that. And especially if they're also stuck in 13 year contracts... which is ridiculous. so yeah :(( but we can hope they get better treament!! and soz to any superm fans if there are any of you đ superm is a done thing i'm afraid</3 lucas flopped, baekhyun's suing and then it'd just be taemin in an Nct unit KJFGKFJGK. so yeah no more superm. but nct will prob truck on - they are SM's priority there's no denying it so they'll prob be fine. tho they are tragically suffering with the loss of sungtaro so like... </3 rip to them but infinite Nct flopped to me the second sungtaro left, like no one else matters</3
#sm are literally acting like a toxic partner during a breakup.. dsjgjdj#like fr they sent a mail to another company being like STAY AWAY FROM CBX DON'T TEMPT THEM INTO NEW CONTRACTS THATS ILLEGAL and that compan#was just like .. woah dude#that was not us..#absolutely hilarious i hope sm are embarrassed#soz i kinda went on a rant there gjjds but hope i answered some of your questions!!!#those poor fuckers in THIRTEEN YEAR CONTRACTS like thats ridiculous...#manifesting with all my soul that the aespa babies aren't in that shit#but SM are standing by it.. they aren't rly like 'that was back in the early exo days we've improved now' like....#oop#anyways#they aren't going to flop coz sadly if u got a lot of money u can do whatever#but i do hope exo can get what they want out of it at least#levanter anon#anons#asks#exo#also please please let me know if small text is difficult for you! i'll happily change it to big if it's easier for you to read
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Saying "meals under $5" that have a thousand ingredients that you only use a tiny bit of, to me, is like saying "if you have all of these in your house already it's free"
#like it's not free?#and it's DEFINITELY NOT UNDER 5 DOLLARS#i'll tell you my reasoning#these ppl who make these videos are always youtubers or influencers etc who have money and are trying to cater#+ to ppl who don't have money#but they have no fucking idea what not having money is like#yes i can buy a packet of pasta for $2 and make several dishes with it so yes it's cheaper in the long run#BUT if i only have $2 ... am i only gonna eat pasta? with nothing else?#i could go to mcdonalds with those $2 and get in the 1⏠menu a cheesburger and a coke (in portugal)#(i am using the pricings in my reality but i hope it's understandable enough)#if say i only have $10 for my dinner tonight i could go buy groceries#but making this recipe would NOT cost me the 10 dollars#specially not with 10 dif sauces that are $9 each lmao#it's like 'oh you should buy more expensive boots bc they will last longer and are better quality' but#.... IF ONE PAIR COSTS 100⏠AND I ONLY HAVE 30⏠I CANNOT CHOOSE#i literally CANNOT choose between them because i don't have any more than 30âŹ#getting back to the food thing i can get a full meal in a lot of restaurants in portugal for 10#10⏠but i guarantee i cannot cook one dish with maybe a dessert under 10âŹ#THESE ANNOY ME SO FUCKING MUCH I SWEAR
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Essentially what it is all boiling down to is I have fully realized I am bad at being a person, that will always be true, and I donât know how to handle that
#Iâm going to be depressing and self depreciating in the tags so. fair warning to anyone who reads them#Iâve known for a while now that I donât know what to do with my life. Iâve thought of a few ideas but none of them seem to be working. and I#think a good chunk of what itâs boiling down to is that I am quite literally just stupid when it comes to an actual useful real life skills.#and itâs frustrating because I canât even talk to ppl I know and confide in them that I feel dumb and stupid without them being like ânooooo#donât say that! youâre not stupid! you were top of your class in hs!â (that is their favorite thing to fall back on) but like. the thing is#I wasnât even smart in hs. sure I did good but thatâs because I cheated my way through and got lucky a lot. I never actually learned anythin#I never understood what I was being taught or how to apply it. I was good at English and art classes and that was it those were the only one#I truly felt I knew what I was doing in and grasped the subject matter well. I know Iâm good at those two things and smart when it comes to#those subjects. but the thing is. in real life. both of those are useless skills. I canât make money with them and it is highly unlikely#that will ever change. and yes I know not being able to make money with it doesnât mean itâs useless but like it kinda does. capitalism#sucks. I know that. we all do. but that doesnât change that we live in a capitalist society and itâs unlikely to actual change in my lifetim#so Iâm stuck to try and figure out how to live in it. but I have no skills I can make money with so I will live my entire life poor and#miserable and working dead end jobs that make me want to kill myself. Iâm not good at socialization Iâm so fucking bad at it so I canât work#any kind of job that hinges on networking or sales or human interaction which is MOST JOBS but Iâm also too stupid for anything related to#STEM. I tried two different stem degrees and flunked out of both of them because I am a FUCKING IDIOT and I know thereâs no point in trying#to go back to school for another one. but no degree in anything I naturally have a knack for will help me find a decent well paying job. ill#just be wasting my money to go to school for something like that. and then like. I donât even think Iâll ever get married and I def wonât#ever have kids. so I canât even put any hopeful stock in just being happy with a family one day. I know a lot of ppl who donât like their#careers but theyâre fine with that because theyâre happy with their family but like I donât even have that and I wonât ever have that. I#have NOTHING to strive for and NOTHING I am good at thatâs meaningful Iâm going to fail at having a career and a family and I know that#doesnât mean I wonât be happy in theory but by societal standards I am and always will be a fucking failure of a person and since I do live#in this society yeah. itâs kinda fucking true. and I donât know what to do about that. Iâm just tired. Iâm tired of being afraid and#struggling and going through patches of wanting to kill myself because of this because like whatâs the point. Iâll never have anything#better so what in the actual hell is the point of me existing. and I know Iâm being ridiculous and my brain is eating itself and none of#this is probably even true but that doesnât change that it FEELS like it is a lot of times and esp right now and I donât know what to do#to anyone who reads this Iâll be fine tbh prob as soon as tomorrow like dw about it I just need to get it out so I stop stewing in it.#Iâm just. yeah. not having a great time rn but I left work so Iâm gonna cry and then maybe sleep for a bit and hope that helps#kaz rambles
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Willia doesnât understand that being in Detroit where everyone is trigger happy and confrontational is Raylanâs vacation. A whole army can come at Raylan and heâll be fine so long as heâs not in Harlan.
#mystuff#justified#justified: city primeval#i wanna say they're gonna go back#but they never went back to jakku#willa is amazing bc she's as smart as loretta and she looks like ava#(and loretta is the closest we'll get to knowing what raylan was like as a kid)#raylan will definitely go apesh!t if anything happens to her bc that's just raylan#but having a loretta/ava/raylan hybrid for a kid is such cosmic payback lol the good kind#i really hope willa keeps on about harlan and they end up there#it's the perfect inversion#justified had more ties to detroit as it went on#so it'd be awesome to go from detroit back to harlan#i hope we see limehouse#boyd is still in prison#but they can come up with anything literally anything#i need to rewatch the last seasons bc those were detroit heavy and i think there's still money missing#wynn has it?#ava had it but she paid whoever got her out#and i thiiiiiiink i'm pretty sure it was wynn#AHHHHHHHH#it desn't matter if it never comes up#bc just remembering this is how it ended#is delightful#this show is so great
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