#and it’s frustrating because I can’t even talk to ppl I know and confide in them that I feel dumb and stupid without them being like ‘nooooo

[yuribalisms]

Essentially what it is all boiling down to is I have fully realized I am bad at being a person, that will always be true, and I don’t know how to handle that

[hurtmyfavsthanks]

PREV ASK ANON HERE

I absolutely adore the idea of them being so completely unaware and dazed that they’re just happy to be there dearly. the only discomfort they’d be aware of is how cold they are in comparison to their temperature controlled tank. whumpee’s emaciated body would not be able to control their own temperature, and also factoring in the minimal clothes they’re wearing, leaves a whumpee with chattering teeth and no sense of what’s wrong.

also the act of caring for a god as a sense of devotion?? I’m kicking my feet and giggling I love it sm. I’d imagine as well in any scenario when whumpee is being manhandled they’re responsive to any stimulus, being that they’ve been deprived of anything but water for months, so any brush of the skin that whumper allowed would be responded to by a startle, groan, twitch, etc which in diff situation w diff whumper’s can yield different reactions. disgust, adoration, a sick sense of satisfaction, etc.

oooooohhgh and the aftermath. chefs kiss.

you’re right so so right ohmygod. whumpee would almost rather have been tortured or physically hurt to be able to say they “survived something” rather than just been completely and totally dehumanized to the point of complete and utter unawareness and shut down of higher cognitive functions. IM EATING IT UPPP.

Anyways,,whumper probably talked to them through the tank like someone would talk to a pet goldfish.

-🪣 anon (cause i dump all my ideas on ppl)

Oh my lord, the imagery. I just can’t help but imagine when Caretaker first finds Whumpee. They expect a cell, chains and bars. Instead, they find Whumpee suspended in a glass tube, body submerged in fluid. Their body limp, hair flowing like a halo around their head. They look like a sleeping god. They look like a trophy. It makes Caretaker sick.

Just… Whumpee is worshiped like a god, but contained like a monster. Contained so totally and then displayed like a prized possession. I know you see the vision.

And you’re so right! Sticking with the ‘worshiper’ Whumper cause we’re both vibing with it, I just imagine Whumper finding deep satisfaction in getting such an unguarded, vulnerable response from their ‘god’ with a simple touch. They’re the only one allowed to touch them. It only helps to strengthen Whumper’s posessiveness, their confidence that they’re the one worthy of protecting Whumpee and harnessing their power.

Also! Also! I really like your point of Whumpee only being aware enough to feel their discomfort. Their awareness has been successfully restricted to their immediate senses, because Whumper has taken control of all their other needs. I love the fact that in that state, Whumpee would seek that simple comfort from anyone, body instinctually leaning into any source of warmth. Is it Caretaker, gripping them with shaking hands, horrified of what was done to them? Is it Whumper, smiling down at Whumpee, gliding a hand through their dripping hair?

Plus, you’re totally onto something with the ‘talking to Whumpee like a goldfish’ thing! Cooing unwanted comforts as Whumpee is dragged under the drug’s effects for the first time. Smiling as Whumpee’s limp body twitches underneath their gentle touch. Giving updates on their work to Whumpee’s peaceful, sleeping form.

Whumpee never responds. They can’t. For as much as Whumper worships Whumpee, they’re not particularly interested in Whumpee’s opinions.

And the recovery!! I feel like it’d be so, so horrible for Whumpee, because it shares one key element with their captivity: helplessness. Even now they’re trapped, confined to a hospital bed with a body too weak for even the most simple of activities. They’re being dotted on again, bombarded by countless pitying looks.

Whumpee wants to brush them away, insist on standing on their own feet, and walk out of the hospital. But their hands shake when they try to bring a glass to their lips, their legs crumble beneath them when they try to stand unaided. Their complaints and frustrations have nothing behind them, and it only earns them more pity.

[rev3rb]

No apologies necessary! I don’t always have something to reply, so I didn’t expect you to be on the lookout for a message anyways lol

I’m definitely right with you when it comes to the feelings of disappointment and frustration. This manga introduces a lot of intriguing concepts that I want to see pay off properly, but the longer we’re strung along the less confident I am that those things will be fully explored. Especially when the characters who represent different aspects of these themes disappear for months at a time. Like Shinya who has a defining trait of not getting riled up and acting on his desires. That’s part of the reason I did genuinely want to know your take on Mahiru’s goals bc I think looking at the characters is a good way of analyzing different positions on the spectrum of things. Although bc a lot of characters seem to have contradictory philosophies, even if they can all agree that God’s way is wack, I can’t see them all agreeing on how their world should look. Generally they don’t wanna be controlled and don’t like the current state of things, but if they all band together and succeed in making a change… then what? Do we resurrect ppl willy-nilly without consequence? Is everyone immortal now? Is it wrong to let someone die if you resurrect them after? Basically, a power vacuum and a shit ton of questions emerge once you get rid of the current rules. Even so, I’m still hoping for a satisfying conclusion even though it’s hard to imagine getting one within the next century 😐

True enough I suppose, but I still feel bad.

Exactly! I feel like that feeling of 'will this even get properly explored' is just intensified with how much we jump around. In general, I'd say we always tend to circle back to concepts and plot threads that get mentioned, BUT the roundabout way we often get there can just be frustrating.

Oh, I agree with all of that. Characters are undeniably the strongest point for this series as the plot itself is WACK af and all over the place, but as you say, it can be a bit hard to pin them down when they keep popping in and out of the story and ESPECIALLY when you look at Vampire Reign in its own bubble separate from C@16, whether that be because one hasn't read it or just for analysis sake. Again, a story should be able to stand on its own without side content imo, and it's sometimes crazy to think about how much weaker OnS's story gets without the added context C@16 brings. A talk for another time though. But yes, all their separate goals and viewpoints. I agree with what you're saying. It's why I feel so unsure about how the story is going to go. In concept, everyone teaming up makes sense since that's kinda just a standard trope-y thing, but they have different views on how they want the world to end up like you said. I'd imagine Yu's view would win out since he's the protagonist, but the other main parties' philosophies are strong and have been in the making for long periods of time. They're not just going to toss everything to the wind and join Yu because he says he'll make sure everything works out... or at least they SHOULDN'T if the story is going to be a satisfactory one, and that's what worries me. It's hard to imagine getting a satisfying ending with what we have now. Things will have to develop a lot to get there, which is why your last comment here is so true lol. We have no hints that OnS will be ending any time soon, so there's time, but if we keep wasting chapter space with pointless banter or information that we've already seen multiple times, I'm going to lose it. We're never gonna get there lol. I've said it before, but while I'm usually all for character-building banter and recaps/reminders (when relevant and necessary for the later here), I'm approaching my wit's end when it comes to Kagami wasting chapter space. Maybe "wasting" is harsh, but how many times have we talked like this and had a "another chapter spent not really accomplishing much of anything/moving the story forward :/" conclusion? Too many.

Tangentally related to all this, but since you bring up characters, I have to say, Kagami's use of them can be SO bad at times. Characters just disappear! I get that with how the story is, some characters, Shinya and the rest of Guren squad in particular, won't get as much spotlight, but the amount of times characters inexplicably disappear is noticeably high. I wouldn't say that they're necessarily representative of different aspects of the story, so they're less relevant, but for example, Narumi where are you?? He has to be the most egregious case of this. At least we know where Shinya is right now. How about Lacus who has that whole thing with Yoichi? And with Lacus comes Rene, though he's less significant. Also, while they're not plot-relevant at all as far as I can tell, we also haven't seen the likes of Chess and Horn in FOREVER! It is what it is I guess, but it'd be nice if we had SOME acknowledgment of these disappearances if we really have to have them. Narumi's continued absence being unaddressed entirely continues to be absolutely baffling.

[psywife]

Manifestation Successes/Update Pt 2

Okay so like I said I had a long kind of dangerous drive I had to make and had to do it by a certain time and was manifesting that he would accompany me. He had mentioned it once but then not again as we had phonecalls but in the meantime I was learing SatS and scripting and using them voraciously.

Kind of too voraciously bc this was at a point where I didn’t know what was actually meant by using intensity to manifest nor did  I know how manifesting ‘to get something’ and reacting to the 3D would mess up your manifestation.

After a couple weeks and some more frustration at the ‘lack’ of result and some more flaky behavior on my SPs part I was tired of spiraling and bought two SP coaching /manifesation packets (a book and a session) from hes-already-yours and iamthatwhich on IG and they helped SO MUCH.

So as the month comes to a close I’m practicing and doing affirmations the whole deal and when ppl ask me about my drive (they know my SP as we are friends and the drive is to by where he was living) I told them he said he‘d go with me.

Fast forward to the day of the drive, I was holding out that it could still happen but in the 3D it didn’t. I was in the car and decided not to care. Mentally I visualized that he was there with me and just kept on, not being disappointed or bothered.

During the drive something happend and I realized I had made a legal mistake and would have to make a portion of the drive again and while I can’t give more details lets just say things got potentially legally and physically risky for me. So from that point on, he starts tracking my location, helping me with directions and being with me on the drive just not physically. I get to his place and he tells me he had been thinking the entire last month about flying to where I was and driving with me (when you affirm they think what you think! but I was going back and forth about believing he would do it so he didn’t make the decision in time) and then he says he‘ll go with me to take care of the legal issue so I have to re-do the drive and this time he is with me in the physical just like I visualized!!!

This was SO crazy to me, it happened even after it seemed like it would be ‘too late‘ in fact it feels like the legal issue manifested because by the time I left, I was 100% living in the end that it had happened even if it was after the fact. I revised it as it happened, and the whole timeline and circumstances altered to make it true!

Now, remember that 3P?

So before I even came he told me via a convo that he wasn’t seeing her anymore and in fact she ended up turning into a crazy stalker who really scared him with how far she went and the things she did, which I wont’ repeat, but she literally became a threat to his life in many ways.

I’ll just say it like I’ve seen other coaches say it: if there’s a 3p ignore them completely, live in your end and you won’t believe the ways they will turn into the most undesirable repulsive person to your SP! As you learn your lesson of confidence and self love the presence of the 3P made you aware of, their manifestation will turn into an absolute monster that eventually sends your SP into your arms!!

Don’t have clingy obsessive thoughts or dejected thoughts about your SP bc the 3P literally manifests from them and starts pursuing, clinging to, attracting etc your SP. But once you are solid in your end they lose all their power and reality will do anything required to conform to you and your SP loving each other!

So this really gave me a sign and I started really sticking with the law and learning and practicing it. As I’ve posted about  at this point I was living with my SP and a few times also vsited w his family. When I was with his family I would mentally affirm that they were my in laws :) When I first arrived at  his place he said I could stay for a month or so until I found a place, but I knew that was old him talking. After that he asked me to stay another month to ‘help watch the house‘ then after that he invited me to stay a month  more and I said I’d find a place the next month. After that he said I could stay more and by the time I felt like leaving (I love his place but I preferred another city further away-- wait for it) he was sheepishly telling me I didn’t have to go yet if I wasn’t ready. LOL!

There‘s more but this is getting ong again so I’ll come back later w part 3

[toothlesshat]

I sorta feel like they're taking Leo's line that nobody trusts him a little too seriously is all. If anything his line about being Splinter's least favorite is the opposite, but I'm not here to talk about that. I feel ppl are putting the canonical insecurities Leo has out as fact and ignoring context.

Leo is in a position, a well-founded one at that, where he believes nobody trusts him. He has shown multiple times throughout the series that while he always has his family's best interests at heart, his family has plenty of reason to doubt him. His powers are barely controlled. He hides information, puts on an act of confidence that can come off as having a major ego, and has actually put his family in danger several times. So no, they don't trust him... but that's kinda the point of that scene. It's Splinter learning to trust his son in spite of all this and being rewarded with the hidden potential Leo has exhibited from the first episode as a leader, it jsut needs a bit of extra work and refinements.

Yeah that’s exactly what I was thinking. Especially the line about Leo being his least favorite- like he’s being chased by a comically feral version of his sick father. Yeah, out of context it looks bad, but Splinter is being extra affectionate while he’s sick as hell, that’s- that’s the whole joke!!

And you’re completely right about Leo being untrustworthy! I can’t even feel bad for him when Splinter doesn’t want to go along with the Battle Nexus plan because he doesn’t know there’s a plan- and there’s no good reason for Leo to hide it either! He kept everyone in the dark about that and it was wrong of him. Of course Splinter is frustrated with him! He should’ve explained the plan before they ever left! And Splinter even accepts this aspect of his son despite it being a literal flaw that should’ve been addressed (maybe it would’ve been if we got that third season, idk).

And I’d also like to point out that like. Splinter is his father, not his friend. I know this sounds obvious, but Splinter is well within his right as Leo’s guardian to say no to him, or not go along with his plans when he has no idea what’s going on. They’re not brothers, or friends, or vaguely related- like Leo is his teenage son, and Splinter can say “no this plan doesn’t make sense and I won’t let you control this situation anymore”. It’s not abuse or neglect or even mean to say that. Splinter is not mean to Leo, he’s realistic.

[mod2amaryllis]

it's an animal thoughts morning. one thing I don't see mentioned often enough when it comes to animal handling/relations is the importance of endearments. and I mean that literally. I mean you should be referring to your animals as darling, love, angel, baby, etc as often as possible. seems obvious to some but I promise it doesn't occur to ppl. how often do we joke and insult our animals? WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE AND SILLY BTW but many folks take it to the extreme and only use funny rude words, or are very formal with their animals.

lemme explain. when you consciously start using endearments, two things are happening. the pet is registering your tone of voice/body language, which should automatically get some tenderness stank on there, and way more importantly: YOUR brain is being conditioned. Goose is straight up deaf and I still do this and I notice a difference between her and co-workers' pets because the difference is with ME. you are telling your brain "this creature IS baby, this creature IS darling" and the more you do it the more capable you'll be of exerting patience when they exhibit bad behaviors, which is SO FUCKING CLUTCH when it comes to building rich relationships.

with my animals specifically, this manifests as trust. no matter what, every time I grab them for a potty break, every time I see them, even if I'm cranky and exhausted, my greeting is a relieved sigh and a quiet "oh...my angels...hello my perfect darlings." contrast this with some of my uhhhh we'll say less experienced co-workers who will go back to their dogs with more frustration. nothing bad. I just genuinely don't know anyone else who's quite so deliberately lovey-dovey with their animals as I am, and Joanie and Goose are [DOTING PARENT MOMENT] The Best Fucking Dogs At The Clinic And It's Not Even Close Oh My God They Are So Good Walk On Their Leashes Like Absolute Champs They Never Bark Except When There's An Actively Aggressive Dog Then Joanie Will Bark Because She's Worried About Us Oh My God What A Good Girl Fuck Off I Love Them So Much.

so in my work, we've been doing curbside the last year. this makes parents nervous. they can't observe what we're doing inside. FOR THE RECORD, there has been a noticeable improvement on behavior because animals are generally less cooperative when they're also worried about their owners, but we've still been extra careful about reassuring everyone involved. the moment I'm taking that animal from their parent, I switch from professional-talking-to-a-human-voice to gooey-gushy-baby-sweet "hiiii shnookums hewwo little one it's okaaaaay <3333" all the way to the door, all the way inside, the WHOLE time I'm buttering up that patient, and I'm sincere about it too.

I can't fucking stress the difference. I CAN'T stress how much animals understand us. lol actually it always annoys me to see hypotheticals like "wow wouldn't it be cool if we could talk to animals :)" because we already can!! to the best of their capability, we DO already communicate. they're picking up every motion and inflection, I promise you. THEY understand US, the language barrier is in the other direction and you can learn it if you care to.

but this is why I'm the guy for reactive animals. I literally purr while restraining cats. I never stop sweettalking. that's why friday when a nervous puppy with a "caution" warning came in and everyone else was being a fucking weirdo thinking he'd bite them I walked over and assured him "hi my friend it's okay" scooped that dude right on up worked with him all day. caution is important but literally confidence and reassurance is WAY way way moreso.

anyway yeah if you don't already do it, I recommend taking endearments out for a spin. shnookums is a favorite of mine. change that brain chemistry.

[pomegranates-and-blood]

Headcannon: Shieldmaiden friend with his brothers

My Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Summary: “I was hoping I could request a headcanon of Ivar being nervous around a new shieldmaiden that is friends with his brothers? He finds her attractive, but that makes him nervous bc of his legs and what ppl have said all his life.”

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: My horrible attempts at whatever the fuck this ended up being, nothing else I can think of.

A/N: So yeah, I made a thing. Am I happy with the thing? Nope. Am I proud of the thing? Nopity nope. Am I gonna post it anyways and hope you guys don’t hate it? Yep.

But yeah, first time writing headcanons, first time diving head first into season 4 Ivar. I sincerely hope you like it, and idk, would love to hear your thoughts, good or bad, on this one. Thank you!

Taglist: @1950schick​​

·         You were one of the shieldmaidens to accompany Björn to the Mediterranean, and you grew close to both him and Hvitserk on the journey.

·         You joined the Great Heathen Army alongside your brother, and everyone was surprised to see Björn sprint towards you as soon as he saw your ship, lifting you off the ground in a tight embrace.

·         Although Sigurd isn’t too thrilled or interested in you, both Ubbe and Ivar are immediately drawn to you.

·         The former, because there’s rumors about how you once bested Björn when sparring with those curved swords.

·         The latter, for completely different reasons. Though, you being a great warrior does help.

·         With you being close to his brothers Ivar finds himself knowing more and more about you with every passing day, and in the midst of the war to avenge his father, with his heart heavy with pain and loss, he finds you, with your easy smiles and your friendly nature, a welcome distraction.

·         That’s what he calls it, at first. When he spends each chance he has watching you from afar, witnessing your interactions with the group of shieldmaidens you call sisters in arms; when he finds himself thinking of you late at night and early in the morning; when he realizes he misses you when you’re gone, even though he tells himself he has nothing to miss.

·         The realization that he actually feels something for you dawns on him when he sees some Dane warrior dancing with you on a feast after Aelle is conquered, and the urge to stake his claim, to go there and interrupt whatever it is that is happening before his eyes, fills him, makes an impulsive hand reach for the axe at his side.

·         Ivar is…well, Ivar, so there’s no way he’d willingly let you -or anyone else, for that matter- know that he’s interested in you.

·         Which he is. Very much so. Because, much to his growing frustration -in more ways than one- he can’t get you out of his head.

·         Still, that doesn’t mean he’d willingly disclose it. He isn’t subtle, though.

·         But people notice. His brothers notice.

·         Björn isn’t thrilled with it, but considering Aslaug isn’t alive to bend to Ivar’s will and have some poor girl forced into marriage with the youngest son of Ragnar, he isn’t too concerned. If something happens, it is because you choose it so, and that’s enough for him.

·         Ubbe bristles up. He knows bits and pieces of what happened with Margrethe, but he has been witness too many times of how Sigurd uses what happened with her against Ivar- something he swears one day will end in tragedy, thankfully nothing too difficult to contain or heal so far-; and he still feels responsible about setting up the whole thing. The last thing he wants is for it to happen again, with someone that is quickly becoming a close friend of him and his brothers.

·         And of course, Sigurd notices, and is cruelly delighted in it. He does try a couple of times teasing Ivar about it when you’re near, but you never stood for those kinds of games, so he was eventually discouraged from continuing.

·         Doesn’t stop him from privately tormenting Ivar about it. It is his duty as older brother after all, and since Ubbe is too busy mothering Ivar, and Hvitserk too busy trying to fuck his way through England, it falls unto him. He may go too far once or twice, but their relationship has always been that way.

·         Sigurd’s teasing only manages to put Ivar more and more on edge about these stupid -pathetic, useless, soft- feelings, and the few times you try getting close to him, he usually snaps at you or reacts badly.

·         Because you are very interested, even if you are much better at hiding it. Ivar proves to be incredibly smart, and with the march of the Great Heathen Army being the first time you’ve travelled this far from home, fought in so many important battles, you find yourself fascinated by him and the way he seems to understand what goes beyond fighting, what becomes war.

·         But, when you are try getting close to him with subtle flirting or soft touches, Ivar thinks you are pitying him or mocking him, and when you are more direct and try finding common ground to get to know each other, he thinks you’re pushing him away.

·         It confuses you, and frankly, it confuses him too.

·         It confuses everyone that has become an unwilling spectator to all of this.

·         Ivar does try his best at being nice to you, it just manages to backfire most of the time.

·         You could be sharing a meal with him and his brothers, and he’d try complimenting you, saying something about how you have proven to be a fine shieldmaiden. But feeling too many eyes on him, feeling like he left himself open for ridicule or rejection, he’d add something else, like how you are obviously aided by the fact you use weapons not familiar to Vikings.

·         He’d fuck most things up, is what I mean.

·         And he’d know -and you’d make it very much clear- that he has upset you, or made you angry.

·         He would try apologizing, but it is Ivar, so “I’m sorry” won’t leave his lips unless someone pries it off him, so, he’d try…alternative approaches.

·         First, gifts. Women like those, right? He’d try buying the prettiest, most expensive thing he can find, and leaving it for you to find. Or, if he is in a particularly good day -if he managed to get one up on Sigurd, maybe, that’d be a good day- he’d give it to you in person.

·         Throwing expensive things at you wouldn’t exactly work, making you feel inadequate and cheap. He notices, so he’d try something else.

·         He wants you closer, so he makes it so that you always sit with him and his brothers at the table where the leaders of the army dine.

·         Before long many men -including Harald, to whom Ivar notices you giving easier smiles than the rest, much to his horror- manage to sleaze their way to the chair at your other side, chatting with you during the nights, making you smile and laugh.

·         When word of how one of them tried talking your brother into a marriage arrangement reaches Ivar, he pulls back on his idea of having you sit with him.

·         To you, it just looks like a rejection, and Ivar notices you grow colder, more distant.

·         With the threat of how desired you have proven yourself to be, a beautiful woman and a fierce shieldmaiden, hanging over his head, Ivar grows more and more restless, and resolute he has to prove to you he can offer you much more than any of these men can.

·         He tries everything he can think of. Make it so that you are there when he beats his brothers in target practice, boast about how his strategy was what won them many a battle against the Saxons, repeat the tales about how he and his brothers are descended from the Gods themselves.

·         When Ivar makes the contraptions for his legs, he goes to find you with -barely contained, he shouldn’t even bother trying to hide it really- enthusiasm, trying to show off in front of you.

·         He ties a lot of his self-worth into how people perceive him, into how much of a ‘normal man’ he can pass off as, and as we know he stands a lot prouder and a lot more confident once he gains more control of the Great Army and manages to make those things.

·         When you see him, though, even though he is preening and standing tall, chin high and shoulders squared; all you do is look at the contraptions around his legs and back into his eyes.

·         “You’re a better fighter without those.” You’d say, and nothing else.

·         Ivar would sulk. There’s no way to impress you, nothing he can do to make you look at him with that mischievous streak you share with Hvitserk, or that companiable closeness you have with Björn.

·         Anger would quickly enough win over any impulse to sulk and feel sorry for himself, though.

·         He’d eventually grow colder, crueler, towards you. He’d feel like you rejected him, and being angry towards you -and in return making you be angry towards him- gives him someone to blame, gives him some way of letting the pain have form, have a target for all the mess of emotions it leaves inside him.

·         When Björn starts making plans to return to the Mediterranean, he fully expects to see you depart following his brother and never seeing you again.

·         He hates himself for grieving the loss of you, someone he never had, someone that -as far as he knows- never cared about him anyways.

·         But he does. The day when Björn and those who choose to come with him will depart East approaches, and Ivar is more on edge than ever.

·         Restless, angry, and with no one to blame but himself. But, of course, he won’t do that, no.

·         He taunts you, makes jabs at you and how you run after Björn like an enamored thrall, points out you choose to sail a ship like a coward instead of staying here -staying with him- and fighting the Saxons.

·         When you snap back, voice loud and eyes furious, that you were never planning on sailing back with Björn, you manage for once to stun Ivar into silence.

·         You don’t even give him time to hold on to cruelty, to the pain and anger he uses as both a weapon and a shield. You stand up from the table and leave the hall.

·         Hvitserk doesn’t lift his head from his food, but still grumbles that he should go after her. At Ivar’s affronted frown, Ubbe insists that he should, offering his little brother a sly smile and something about going to find his woman.

·         Ivar would deny to his very grave and beyond it that his ears turned red at the implication behind Ubbe’s words.

·         But he did, trying to dispel thoughts that told him how he was running after you like a lovesick puppy.

·         When he finds you, you are still angry, because of course you are. And your anger is to Ivar like an electric shock over an exposed nerve, drawing out all the vitriol and fury and explosiveness.

·         Before long he has managed to make you angrier than he has ever seen you, and your voices rise with your tempers.

·         A second time you manage to stun Ivar into silence comes shortly after the argument between the two erupts.

·         He doesn’t even remember what he was about to say, only that with a few words about how you chose to stay with the Great Army for him makes all the thoughts on his head disappear.

·         Before he can twist himself into knots about it, thinking how it must surely be a lie, how you are playing some cruel trick on him; you lean in and kiss him.

·         Ivar doesn’t know how to react, not at first. The only woman he has kissed before was a slave his brother instructed to sleep with him, and he refuses to think of that night, of that woman.

·         He stays frozen under your touch, until you pull back, and smile.

·         He realizes when lack of air makes your kiss end that in your eyes you don’t have that glint of playfulness you share with Hvitserk, or that comfortable understanding you have with Björn; but something more tender, more real, and definitely hungrier.

____

So yeah, that’s that. I have never written headcanons before, and I struggle a lot with season 4 Ivar (who am I kidding, I struggle with writing Ivar in general) even tho he is my favorite Ivar. Idk, I gave it my best, hopefully I can learn from this and get better at it lol

Thank you so much for reading, lovelies!! <3

[another-stark-sub]

Pinned Down - Tony Stark Imagine

Summary: You have a meeting, but Tony doesn’t really care.

Warnings: SMUT! (don’t read if you’re under 18), heavy makeout, bondage, a little very little use of the iron man gauntlet, dirty talk, “sweetheart” and “babygirl,” some fluff at the end

Word Count: 1848

Notes: This was because I had thirsty thoughts before a midterm, shitposted about it, and some ppl actually responded, so... thanks to the people who contributed to that shitpost!

“I have work.” You didn’t even believe your own words. Not when you weren’t doing anything to escape Tony’s gaze, lips, touch. 

Your boyfriend paused just to say, “Don’t care,” before continuing to kiss you. Although, yes, you had work to do, emails to check and calls to make, but god, Tony Stark’s kisses were their own kind of drug. Your fingers were twitching, and you tried to convince yourself that it was because you had to push him off, had say something quippy, and had get to your desk, but it wasn’t. No, not when his hands were sneaking their way under your shirt and pushing against the hem of your sweatpants. 

Your hands were twitching because you wanted to touch him, too.

And when he had finally stripped you of your shirt, the only thing on your mind was him. With your shirt off, your skin was exposed to the cool air and the cold press of your back against the wall. The cold quickly disappeared when Tony kissed you again, his entire body pressed into yours and a very noticeable hard-on demanding your attention. 

You tangled your fingers in his hair and pulled him closer. You needed his lips on yours. You hated the cold, especially when having Tony’s lips against yours was an option. The heat, the want, it started to consume you, and just as your fingers toyed with the hem of his shirt, Tony pulled his lips away from you.

A whine, high-pitched and needy, escaped your throat, and if you weren’t so caught up in trying to fuck your boyfriend, you’d probably cringe at how needy you sounded. But, it was Tony Stark, so really, could anyone blame you?

“Tony,” you managed only to get cut off by his thumb swiping your bottom lip. You watched as he focused on your lips before smirking and meeting your eyes, pupils blown and a confident smile. “Bedroom?”

Frantically, you nodded. 

Despite knowing exactly what was going to happen, you still squeaked when his hands pulled your thighs up and wrapped them around his waist before carrying you to the bedroom. He dropped you on the bed. “Off.”

“What?”

“Everything, off.” He rubbed his jaw, but his eyes stayed all on you.

After taking a second to just gawk at him, your fully-clothed, cocky, fucking hot boyfriend, you quickly followed his command. Not so gracefully or sensually, you took off your bra, sweatpants, and underwear, and when you were done and your eyes met his, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

Tony was staring at you hungrily, and those lips of his were curled into a smile that should scare you but it only aroused you instead. 

Suddenly, his body was on top of yours and snug between your legs, and when you wanted to touch him and pull him closer, your wrists were caught in his grip. “Tony-”

“Want me to take care of you?”

“Yes.”

“Then, let me take care of you, ok?” And with a roll of his hips that pressed what you wanted right against where you wanted it, coherent thoughts and words were taken from you. The only reaction you could possibly have with Tony grinding against you and his hand keeping yours above your head and out of commission was a chorus of moans, whines, gasps, and-

“Please, fuck me.”

“Don’t you need to wet first?” His hand cupped your sex, hot skin against hot skin and a pressure you desperately needed more of. You whined, but Tony just smiled. “Oh, nevermind then.” He kissed you. “I haven’t even started yet, sweetheart.”

“Don’t care.” Shamelessly, you lifted your hips and tried to get friction. His hand moved away from you, and you nearly screamed. It was too cold! “Tony!” You thrashed against him. The lack of touch, pressure, satisfaction was driving you crazy, and only the man on top of you could help. 

“I thought you had work.”

“Fucking tease,” you snarled. 

He laughed. He fucking laughed! Fully clothed, teasing, controlling bastard of a man. 

He only hummed as you struggled, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “You say I’m the tease, but I’m pretty sure that’s you, babygirl.” He leaned forward, his lips barely brushing against yours, daring you to move.

And though you were fucking furious that his cock wasn’t in you yet, you just said, “Not me.” You only tugged against his hold, but that was the farthest you went. 

“Not you?” He scoffed. Tony slowly brought his fingers up to your neck, slowly encircling your throat. He squeezed your neck briefly and lifted your chin to stare at your neck like it was something in the store window. “You’re the one with this body.”  Then, his fingers trailed down, lightly touching your shoulder, brushing over both nipples, his gaze following the skin he touched. “Even in your fucking sweats, you’re gorgeous.” Then he grabbed your hip, hiked your thigh up your waist, and said, “Beg for me.”

With the soft cotton of his sweats against your throbbing pussy and your hands restrained by only one of his, you didn’t have a choice. “Please,” you said. 

He raised his eyebrow at you.

You whined. “Please!” You bucked your hips against his. If he would just remove his goddamn clothes.

“Please, what?”

Out of breath and fucks to give, you sighed and begged, “Please, fuck me.”

Just like that, he smiled. “With pleasure.” With one hand, he pulled the hem of his pants and underwear down just enough to free his cock. You wanted to say something, a sarcastic, coherent thought finally coming to the surface, but it died on the tip of your tongue when Tony rams into you.

You pussy stretched to accommodate his thickness, the sudden shock from being empty to so full almost painful. Almost. And after the initial shock, the first thing you felt was satisfaction, and the first thing you said was, “Oh, Tony.”

“Aw, I know.” He took a deep breath, evidently holding himself back from turning you inside out in that moment. “Feels good for me, too, sweetheart. Now,” he smirked, “I’m going to properly fuck my girl. That ok with you?”

You managed to nod once, and that one nod was signal enough. 

Because just as you were to nod again, Tony pulled out, just enough so only the tip of inside and for just long enough for you to feel the emptiness, and thrusted back in. Instead of nodding, you threw your head back and screamed in pleasure.

And Tony didn’t stop. It was a fast and brutal pace, all the pent-up frustration he had from not being able to properly fuck you until you couldn’t walk transformed into the rocking of his hips against yours and the squeaking of the poor bed beneath you. 

Through the pleasure you felt, you could suddenly register a cold touch on your wrist that replaced Tony’s hand. Your vision still shaking from being fucked so good by him, you managed to look up and see an Iron Man gauntlet holding your wrists down. “Tony?” It was a moan and a question. 

He didn’t stop fucking you to respond, every word, every syllable, punctuated with a thrust. “Not only will I save the world with that, I fucked my girl with it, too.”

It was too much. The pleasure of Tony’s cock, the cold metal of the gauntlet, the feeling of helplessness beneath such power. You couldn’t process anything else. Your vision was blurry, from tears, from just the feelings, you weren’t sure. And you could hear things, but it was a blur of Tony’s groans, the slap of his skin against yours, the bedframe hitting the wall, the whir of the gauntlet, your own pants, and squelching of his cock going in and out and in and out-

“I’m gonna- Ah! Tony, I can’t-”

“That’s it, cum for me.” You could see him look at where the two of you were connected. “Can’t wait to see your pussy milk my cock.”

Instinctively, your gaze followed his, and god, the sight of your cunt wrapped around his thick cock, white arousal coating his length every time he pulled out and gathering by the entrance of your pussy when he pushed back in-

“Tony!” Pure bliss overtook you. Your walls spasmed around his cock, the constant thrust in and out only contributed to the cacophony of feelings bombarding you with pleasure, and when Tony’s thrusts become erratic, he pushes himself fully inside of you, and you gladly take all of it. 

As your pleasure dies down, the warmth pooled inside of you, and you can’t help but moan in satisfaction. 

Your senses start to come back. The gauntlet that had been holding you down was put away on the nightstand, and you could feel the dying down sparks ignite again at the sight of it. 

“Got an idea?”

Tony was on top of you, his cock softening inside your pussy and keeping his cum inside. His smile was that of contentment, not a smidge of arrogance present. He leaned down to rub his nose against yours before whispering, “Love you.”

You giggled. With your arms wrapped around his neck and a mumble of “Love you, too,” you pulled him down to kiss you. 

He moaned and kissed you back lazily, and with your momentum, he flipped the two of you so he was on the bed looking up at you. “Fucking gorgeous.”

You sighed. “Fucking tease.” You let yourself rest against him, and for a short while, the two of you were just together and happy. 

Then, your phone rang. “Fuck,” you whispered, as the consequences of having Tony Stark as a boyfriend dawned on you. “I missed my meeting.” Before you could grab your phone, Tony held you place, not wanting to slip out of you, and answered your phone for you. 

Knowing something interesting was going to happen, you just smiled and watched. 

“Hello, yeah don’t care who you are. She’ll call you back later. She has other things to do.” He glanced at you. “Things to keep warm.” He winked at you.

You smacked the back of his head. 

“Bye,” he said with a laugh. He hung up the phone and pulled a pillow in front of him. “Don’t think I won’t use this.”

You raised your eyebrow. “If I can handle you and your gauntlet, I can handle you and a pillow.”

His eyes darkened, and you knew you were in trouble. Good trouble. “If you think that’s all the gauntlet could do, you underestimate me.” 

Teasing him, you said, “You should show me all that it could do sometime.”

The cock inside you twitched, and you laughed a little. “I only need to do so little.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Careful, babygirl.” Then, he smiled. “But yes. What can I say? You’re that beautiful.”

You couldn’t help the bright smile. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

“I know.” He pulled you closer to him and kissed the top of your head.

[nxrthmizu]

| the detective and the blue-eyed fox | ch.4

»»——⍟——««

title | denial will be your downfall 

prompt | detective and criminal AU (Oh my god how did I go from that prompt to this) 

pairing | Damian Wayne x Marinette Dupain-Cheng 

words | 1.9k 

author’s note | I enjoyed writing this so much! :3 ppl out there on ao3 being like ‘omg I can’t wait to see what happens’ and I’m here like ‘yeah I can’t wait to see what happens too I haven’t figured it out yet’ 

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| beginning | previous part | ao3 | 

»»——⍟——««

What, exactly, had Marinette been expecting, you ask? 

Anything except Damian Wayne somehow uncovering her alter-ego (Both of them, might she add) and acquiring the miraculous of the black cat under two days. She had to admit, she knew he was something- That's why she recruited his help in her desperate search for Chat Noir's former miraculous- But in under two days? That was just appalling. 

And if you had told Damian Wayne three months ago that he would, three months later, be sitting in his apartment across his coworker, who had been moonlighting as Gotham’s newest vigilante, Lan, and also happened to be Paris’s former superhero who fought villains induced by butterflies (Of all things), accompanied by two practically-god creatures that were the size of flying mice, he would’ve called the mental hospital. Not to mention that they were discussing the murder of her former partner slash newly appointed CEO of Agreste Enterprises. Throw in the fact that the murderer happened to be a musician who probably had a crush on her civilian identity and wanted to use magic jewellery to bring back his crush’s parents, and the whole thing just sounded like a fifth-grader’s vivid imagination. 

He had considered admitting himself into the mental hospital, but at that point he was way too invested in the ‘case’. 

“Luka?” Denial was a clear ring in her voice, disbelief a close second in volume. 

For weeks, the one thing she wanted to know was the name of her partner’s killer, and now that she knew it, she wanted to give it back. Luka, sweet, kind-hearted, generous Luka- A murderer? 

Plagg nodded grimly in confirmation. 

“I don’t believe this.” Marinette shook her head defiantly, refusing to believe the truth that the god of destruction laid out for her. “He would never...” 

“We literally have an eye witness.” Deadpanned Damian, straight-forward as ever. The bluenette sucked in a breath, lowering her head to avoid her coworker spotting the tears that pricked her eyelids like ice needles. Everything hurt- She had lost her parents in a final battle to win Paris its’ normality back, then she lost her partner, and now she was faced with the truth that the one man she thought she could trust- Was a killer. 

The detective’s eyes softened. “I know it’s hard to take in, and I know I shouldn’t ask you for this- Especially after everything you’ve sacrificed- But Couffaine probably isn’t the same person you knew anymore. You need to stop seeing him as your friend, and hard as it is- You need to start looking at him as the man who killed your partner- And wants to kill you. If you keep going like this, denial will be your downfall.” 

A droplet of blood formed on the bluenette’s lip as she bit down hard to hold in her pain, her agony, her tears. How much longer did she have to suffer? How much longer did she have to be brave? How much longer did she have to endure what the world threw at her? 

“... You know, you can cry if you want. I can’t say I understand, but being in your position now must be pretty hard. You’ll only hurt yourself if you keep everything inside.” 

Damian had seen victims. Too many. He knew and saw first-hand the overwhelming emotions that could surge over one, the unstoppable tsunami of feelings that could wipe out the legs you thought were strong enough to hold you, the wave that could destroy everything and leave you with a broken wasteland as it receded. 

He knew the harm of pent-up emotions. Pent-up emotions were like a jar filled with explosive gas, waiting for the slightest spark to trigger an explosion. And when it did explode, you would find shards of glass digging in to your skin, digging into the skins of the ones around you. He knew the harm of pent-up emotions, because he had felt it first-hand. Because as cold, as uncaring and blunt his exterior could be, Damian Wayne was a human, and he knew what it was like to hurt. 

“You don’t have to hold it in just because you want to hold an image of a strong person in front of me.” He continued. “No matter what happens from here on out, you’re already very strong to me. Emotionally and physically. You were thrust into the role of a superhero with no guidance, made to deal with all the pressure with no one to confide to due to the risks it made to the ones around you. You fought without pause ever since you were a teen, only to lose so much when everything was over. You tried to start again, only to be faced with more pain. The fact that you’re still standing, that you’re still doing something to fight back- That’s amazing in itself.” 

A dry, choked-out sob of a laugh startled him. “Of all people. I never expected that you to be the one that would understand.”

“Hmm.” Damian shrugged, leaning back into his chair with an air of looking unbothered. “I have a rather high standard for what I consider to be strong- Emotionally, anyway, and you just so happen to have been through enough to pass that standard.” 

She cracked a small smile at his feeble attempt to shrink back into his ‘I’m-cold-and-I-don’t-care’ shell. “Back to business- Since you’ve found the ring and the person behind this...” Luka’s name stung the tip of her tongue, and it was too soon and too painful to say- But much to her gratefulness, Damian didn’t bring up her avoidance of his name. “I better contribute by telling you I think I know where he’ll be.”

The green-eyed detective perked up instantly, moving from his relaxed position to one that was leaning forward, eyes wide in curiosity. 

“I don’t where he is now, per say, but I know where he’ll be.” She continued with a smile. “Have you ever wanted to visit the City of Love?” 

»»——⍟——««

What was formerly the City of Love was now a mourning city, shrouded in rain clouds and misery. The murder of Adrien Agreste tightened like a noose, gradually strangling and suffocating the city below. Rain pattered onto Paris’s black cobblestone roads, the streets empty with the exception of one or two pedestrians, walking as quickly as they could to avoid being alone with the deafening silence of post-war Paris. 

The silence was accented by the steady splash of rainwater as a lone figure walked slowly down the street, a black hood shielding his face. Turquoise eyes gleamed as the man approached the house of the woman expecting him, raising his hand to press the doorbell once. 

“Luka.” 

Chloe Bourgeois stood in the doorway of her apartment, eyeing the drenched man with a purse of her lips. “You are not stepping into my apartment like that. If you get a single splotch of mud on my carpet...” She glowered at him, unsatisfied until he grumbled, removing his cloak and muddy boots. 

The deceased mayor’s daughter scrunched her nose in disgust, handing the man a towel to dry off with. 

“Wipe your feet on the towel until they’re clean. Don’t step all over my house with those dirty feet of yours.” Chloe scoffed, leaving him in the entrance of her apartment while she strolled back inside, her golden silk robe fluttering behind her movements. 

“Any progress?” Luka asked gruffly, looking as uncomfortable as he could be, seated on the pearl-white couch inside the blonde’s luxurious apartment. The mayor had left his daughter quite the fortune. 

Clicking her tongue in annoyance, Chloe rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her tea. “Luka, my answer will be the same as the one I gave you yesterday.” 

The man resisted the urge to slam his hands on the glass coffee table in frustration. “You’ve been searching for Ladybug for weeks. What is taking you so long?” 

“Excuse me.” Chloe cleared her throat, looking rather offended. “If I’m not mistaken, you had three months ever since Ladybug left, and you didn’t find anything, either. I don’t think you’re in the position to criticise my progress.” 

He shot a glare in her direction, displeased with her jab at his failed attempts to locate the holder of the Ladybug miraculous. “Find her,” He hissed, standing up abruptly. The blonde wasn’t fazed at all, taking another sip out of her tea with a bored expression. “Find her if you want to bring your father and butler back.” 

The heavy footfalls belonging to the impatient man made Chloe scoff, the loud slam of her front door causing an angry ‘Hey! Watch it!’ from the blonde. She sighed softly, reminiscing of the days when things weren’t so complicated and everything was alright. Across her living room sat two framed pictures, sitting next to each other serenely. 

The first was a photo of herself, Mayor Bourgeois, and the butler, Jean, the three of them standing in front of Le Grand Paris, in all of its’ golden glory. The second was a photo of 5-year-old Chloe, smiling toothily with her arm slung around another blonde- Adrien Agreste, with his soft green eyes and his shy smile. 

“I won’t let you be forgotten.” She whispered to no one in particular, still staring at the two framed pictures. “That’s a promise.” 

»»——⍟——««

Meanwhile, in the dreary corridor leading to Paris’s highest-security-prison, was a displeased woman, glaring daggers at the guards who were denying her entry. 

“You morons.” She hissed, her French slanting off with a clear American accent that resounded even clearly in her anger. “For the last time, I’ve told you, I work for the FBI, and I need to talk to him.” 

“Ma’am, we’ve received no sort of alert that an agent was coming to visit.” The guard defended, baring her from highest-security-cell in the whole building. There had been at least five other gates before the one she was at, and at everyone of them she had been throughly questioned and checked for anything that could result in an outbreak of disaster. 

A dry laugh echoed off the grey cement walls of the holding. “Well, then you go ahead and tell my superiors that I’ve come here for nothing and that they have to pay for a second flight.” The woman smiled when sparks of fear alighted inside the two guards’ eyes- She had come so far, and she wasn’t going to let two measly guards stop her when she was just one wall away from her target. 

“I... Alright miss. You should know the rules, don’t get too close to him.” One of the guards said reluctantly, sharing hesitating looks with his partner, but they opened the heavy metal door for her nonetheless. The woman, dressed in a black blazer, a white blouse, and a dark-coloured pencil skirt, nodded her appreciation, heels clicking as she stepped into the holding. 

A two-inch thick glass separated her and the grey-haired man, who looked up in surprise, eyes flashing in recognition of his visitor. 

“Mr. Agreste.” She addressed politely, dark red hair tied up in a formal bun. 

The man that was formerly Hawkmoth glanced at her up and down, and then at the closed metal door. “I have to say, I’m impressed you managed to get in here.” A low laugh rumbled from his throat, cracking out of the speaker by the side of the glass wall that allowed the man to communicate. 

She smiled at his compliment. 

“It’s been a while, Lila Rossi.” 

»»——⍟——««

taglist. @demonicbusiness @animegirlweeb @roselynfey @2confused-2doanything @insane-fangirl-of-everything @promiswords @galaxylightmoon @fusser90 @ira-sairain @liquid-luck-00 @glastwime859 

gen. daminette taglist. @maskedpainter @animegirlweeb @missmadwoman

*rubs hands together* I have soo many plot twists for this baby planned *cackles evilly* everything’s coming together... Also the story has strayed so far away from the original plot but eh whatever 

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| next part | ao3 | 

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[silver-wield]

Cloti Resolution Analysis

So I was sent an ask about analysing the promise scene between Cloud and Tifa, and I completely went to another plane of existence and did the Resolution instead. Oh well, enjoy the breakdown and I’ll get to bby Tifa and Cloud another time.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a VERY long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Ok, recapping for anyone who hasn't seen this yet.

We begin with Cloud waking, having heard someone leaving the house. He checks, it's not Barret, so he goes out to investigate and spies Tifa staring at the night sky.

Now from this there's actually an unmentioned possibility Cloud decides Tifa doesn't want company and leaves. This obviously doesn't happen because he's developed his character to the point where he'd put himself out for someone else and find out what's wrong. The point I’m making is that Cloud is that guy who’d say “Not interested” and leave, but because he cares about Tifa, he stays. 

Right away we get hints of concern on his face. Obviously, with everything they just went through and all the people they lost he's expecting something along those lines when he asks if she can't sleep. The head tilt that goes with this has echoes of chapter 3 when he invites Tifa to share her worries, only this time she's got her back to him so can't see it.

Tifa, for her part, isn't very forthcoming. She's quite closed off, almost unwilling to open up and talk. She's probably come out because – as she said – she can't sleep and didn't actually intend for Cloud to follow. She apologises for waking him. There was no intent on her part to force a confidence between them. We can't even see her eyes until she replies, which is intentional on the framing to further express her being closed off. Remember, eye contact matters and a lack of eye contact with the audience means she's hiding from us too.

Damn it, she's so clearly cut up but trying to hold it together here it breaks my heart! I'm trying to figure out if her eyes are already swollen from repressing the urge to cry or if it's my imagination. Either way, she's distracted. She's not focused on Cloud or the conversation that much. A distant, polite answer from her is likely meant to hint she's not up for a chat, which is why I love that Cloud doesn't leave. She needs comforting and he's aware of that.

Demoralised tone of voice. Keeps her back to him. Head bowed. She's totally in her own head at this point and having woken Cloud up is just another black mark. She wanted to be alone and wallow, but she can't even do that right. So, when Cloud brushes it off and even goes so far as to make a light-hearted joke – yes him saying it's a SOLDIER thing isn't about him drawing attention to the fact he's succeeded with that part of their promise, he's capable enough to protect her – he's saying it to lower her guard, and that's why she laughs. It's the opening he needs to encourage her to talk so he can find out what's wrong.

Ah, the moment people think this scene is all about Aerith. Excuse me while I roll my eyes.

Now, remember, in the previous glimpse of her we saw she had her head bowed. She's not looking at the stars anymore like she would when recalling her and Cloud's promise. She's looking down at the flowers. The same type of flower that Cloud gave her and she put on the counter in Seventh Heaven. This is why she brings up Aerith because she's the flower seller.

We're shown her feet at this point because she's turning. Cloud's little joke has opened her up enough that she believes she can face him. She can confide in him. She asks about the flower not because she's all about Aerith, but because the flower was in Seventh Heaven: her home. And what is the reason she's out there in the first place? Why can't she sleep? Because she just saw everything she holds dear crushed, literally. She watched Biggs and Jessie die – ok we know better but she doesn't. She let Aerith get kidnapped by Shinra and almost got Marlene killed too – yes, she's definitely the type to blame herself for this too. She's lost friends – who knows how many? There's death and fire and it's all because of Shinra, again.

Ah the other moment people believe makes this all about Aerith. That isn't a “I got caught with another woman” look of guilt. That's an “I lied to you,” guilty look because, if you remember, back when Cloud gave Tifa the flower she said, “What's up with you, buying flowers?” and he said, “A guy can change,” making her believe he'd purposely sought out Aerith to buy a flower for Tifa. Obviously, he doesn't want to contradict himself while she's in a heightened state, so he's all “uhhh.” That's an “I don't know what to say so this doesn't hurt her,” look.

Tifa awkwardly laughs it off. Poor thing, her misconception about Cloud's thoughtfulness is shattered without him having to say a word. Putting a brave face on it, but she's disappointed. And that's not because she thinks she's “lost” to Aerith, but she thought something of Cloud that wasn't right. She thought their relationship had moved on more at that point, which further supports the subsequent intimate moments between them. Now, she's wondering if anything she knew is right.

And that is clear disappointment that he didn't actually do it on his own initiative. Regret hits hard when it comes, right, Cloud?

It goes on with Tifa explaining she looked up the meaning of the flower – now we don't know when, but it's safe to assume it's around the time of the reactor 5 mission when Cloud goes missing. She likely got back to Seventh Heaven, spotted the flower, linked its importance to Cloud and then looked up the meaning. When she saw it symbolised reunion, she did everything she could to keep it alive as a symbol of hope they'd meet again. They'd be reunited. It isn't symbolising anything to do with Aerith. The reason she even brings it up is because of where they are. It's the location that prompts the association.

Now, remember, Tifa has lived through a massive tragedy once before. She literally lost everyone in Nibelheim. It's stated in other media that Shinra rounded up survivors and gave them to Hojo – they became numbered experiments or died. Tifa is the only survivor and she only made it out because her teacher, Zangan, found her. It's also implied that anyone else from Nibelheim was tracked down and killed to silence them after Shinra remade the town – so on the off chance that Tifa went to Midgar to find people she knew, she wouldn't find any in the town and when she asked after Cloud at Shinra she was told he went missing, which explains why she says she's so glad to have Cloud back.

When she says the flower is dead and buried, she's relating it not to her relationship with Cloud – I mean he is literally ten feet in front of her listening to her and offering a shoulder to cry on. No, she's relating the flower to the location. She's talking about her home. Where before she linked it to reuniting with Cloud, once she learned about the danger to sector 7 she linked the flower to reuniting with the people most dear to her there. These are people she's known for five years. She's not a callous, unfeeling bitch, who only focuses on herself and some dude she's just got back in touch with. It's clear from NPC dialogue while you're running around that Tifa is very much loved and respected – and crushed on – in the slum. The people love her and she loves them. She wanted them to be safe more than anything. Her entire arc getting back to the sector is filled with panic. Her focus is her home and the hope she finds it and the people safe.

So, now she's saying that hope she clung to, like the flower, is dead.

And there it is, the brave smile that falters. She's trying so hard to not burden anyone because – as Marle says later on – crying is pointless. Remember, Marle is the one who looked after Tifa, which means Marle's mindset is the one Tifa's been exposed to from 15 to 20. Remember, Tifa is only 20 years old. She's not some grizzled warrior, she's a young girl who had to watch her father die, her town get burned to the ground and be left alone. The only survivor. Until Cloud. Marle has taught her it's pointless to cry; Avalanche and everyone in it has told her she needs to be tough and hard and unfeeling if they want to succeed. But, Tifa doesn't want anyone to die. Not her friends or her enemies. She's not got that hard core, no matter how much she acts cool and detached.

And this is the point that Cloud is likely hearing about his home for the first time. We know he was there, but it's one of those memories he's shut out. The reminder is one of the few times he doesn't get a flash of pain, either. That soft exhale of surprise, the eyes widening just a touch. Cloud hadn't thought to relate his past to this event, and likely hadn't related it to Tifa, either. He's shut it out, so expected her to, as well. This is a musing expression. He's thinking about what she just said. It hits him this is where her emotions are focused. She's in the past, and that gives him the chance to think about the past. This is what opens him up to needing comfort just as much as she does, because he's not processed his grief either. They're both stuck in that place where they weren't allowed to mourn the people they loved and all they've lost.

Then we're treated to a reminder of the physical distance between them in this scene – which has been a theme between them since the start. There's physical distance, that closes at times, then widens again, highlighting how they're struggling to find their way back to each other for various reasons. Cloud because he can't fully relate to his feelings for her and Tifa because she's too afraid of losing him to truly open up.

And then Tifa takes those few steps – that seemed to take forever – to meet him. She's looking for comfort from the Cloud she knew. The real Cloud. His expression here is surprise because, well, Tifa's just not like that, remember? She's reserved and self-contained. He wasn't expecting her to do this. He's once again confronted with a woman being forward. Only, it's different this time because it's Tifa and he knows and trusts her and has all these complicated feelings he can't define. He knows part of him – the 14 year old who wants his crush to notice him – is ok with this. It's what he wants. That's why he doesn't move. He wants to offer her comfort, be the strong capable SOLDIER he thought she wanted.

Oh, but look, the dawning realisation he's just as upset as she is. His hard expression wavers, just for a moment, and he looks cut up. He doesn't know if he can be the strong SOLDIER right now because, just as she's processing grief, he is too.

Hearing her sob, really sob, is hard for Cloud to take. Just like in the pillar when Jessie said, “Tifa's crying,” and Cloud lost his cool for a moment and felt like a failure. He couldn't prevent any of it. He let her down. Listening to her cry tugs at the latent feelings he has for her, but he's still so wrapped up in that fake persona of what he thinks he should be that he doesn't know what to offer her in comfort. You can hear a couple of attempts at speech, but ultimately he doesn't say anything.

I wasn't gonna screen this bit, but what the hell.

You can see the hesitation in his movements. He doesn't know if he should hug her. Tifa's hand isn't quite touching Cloud as it moves from his side to his shoulder, but then when he pulls her in close there's full contact between them with no space. I mean, he's holding her tight.

After the pan away to the stream – which is likely a nod to the lifestream scene in the OG – we're back with them and Tifa's calmed down somewhat.

Cloud's distracted. We can only guess what he's thinking about, but considering the conversation they just had it's probably a blank with vague unsettled grief about his past that he can't grab hold of. He knows he can relate with Tifa at that moment. He's hugging her so tight he hurts her. He's hugging so tight because he needs comfort from her just as she does from him. He lost people too. He's so in his own head that he doesn't quite hear her say his name at first, and then I speculate he expected to hear something else besides, “you're hurting me,” if that very soft “hmm?” is anything to go by. His head was in a place where the outcome of their moment was different. Hurt/comfort is a thing after all.

And then there's the “oh shit, I can't even comfort her properly” moment. He's dismayed he hurt her when he was supposed to be helping. That boy with a crush is mortified and the grown ass man isn't much better. He's ruined the intimacy and lack of emotional distance by failing. Again.

But that doesn't mean he won't linger until the last possible second before stepping back again. The downturned mouth, frown and concern are clear. He doesn't think he did very much at all for her. Does he feel guilty about hurting her, not being the man she deserves? Possibly. He definitely looks regretful. Likely thinking what he could've done better. He wasn't much help at all to her.

“It's stupid. I know that crying's a waste of time.”

Ah, here's what he can do for her. His physical comfort missed the mark, but this is something he can do. He can reassure her. Get back some of that emotional closeness between them. And it succeeds. Tifa's gratitude is clear in her tearful smile and heartfelt thank you.

Conclusion.

How romantic is this scene? I hear no one asking cause you all made up your minds well before I even started. Well, from my pov, I'd say it's definitely up there, although it's very heavily rooted in hurt/comfort and relying on their childhood closeness to further their intimacy. But, that's ok because plenty of great couples begin like this and there's usually a moment like this within Final Fantasy narratives.

Rinoa/Squall's Ragnarok scene? There was no kissing in that either, but the emotional intimacy was clear. And Squall is just as big a butthead as Cloud tbf.

Tidus/Yuna laughing scene? Hahaha, I bet you thought I'd mention the lake instead? Well, no because that is clearly intimacy on a different level to this. We're at the developing intimacy stage, and that stage in 10 was them confiding in each other and laughing together.

This is Cloud/Tifa sharing their grief and comforting each other. The scenes parallel. Whether or not this means it's canon is up to you to decide, but combined with all the compilation evidence – yeah, I've heard the latest argument that compilation doesn't count anymore and until it's confirmed by Square I'm not listening – it does heavily suggest that Tifa and Cloud's relationship will continue along this route to the endgame where they confirm their feelings for each other under the Highwind.

[fairycosmos]

hey big sis :( can i confide in you that i’m so done... like. why is my country so religious because we were colonized? we were all brainwashed. my country is catholic because it was forced onto us. it’s not something we knew about and they came here and killed us after accusing atahualpa of having other gods... they were so cruel, he even gave them the gold and silver they wanted and they still executed him. of course, not before they baptized him. then tupac amaru ii was executed too after trying to revolt. we had to learn what they did to him in first grade it’s insane. it makes upset, why did they have to take everything from us and make us civilized. and now they’re back in europe and they’re ok but we’re not

:(( i’m so sorry love that must be so beyond frustrating. i know there’s nothing i can say to fix the situation or even make it a little better (obviously) and i know the issue is so much larger and much older than any of us. but i hope you know your feelings are absolutely justified and understandable. it’s better to sit with them and accept them - the anger, the confusion, the pain - without trying to self analyse or judge. i know it hurts, but being present with it is the first step towards being able to let it go. it’s beyond fucked up what they did to your country. how they imposed a new religion on it and changed the course of your homelands history all for their own benefit. i can’t imagine. they were just morally bankrupt dude. i have no idea how they could’ve justified all that barbaric shit in their own minds. the rage and sadness is a completely appropriate reaction, as what happened in the past has formed the current reality, and of course you are let down by it. even the narrative that they made you guys ‘civilized’ is just completely disgusting and wrong. that’s what it comes down to, they were all wrong, even worse they were wrong with power they stole. i am so sorry. i’m not sure if there’s anyone in your life you could talk to about this? who could help you have love for the culture of your country while processing and acknowledging the difficult history of it? i’m sure most ppl share a similar sentiment on the topic and it may be cathartic to get it out to those who can understand on a first hand level like you can, as i don’t want to patronize you or undermine your sadness. very very sorry for the second hand grief you have to process for your country and the heavy past that is on your shoulders. and i really think it is a type of grief that has a whole process in order to get through it, as it encompasses loss and trying to accepting what is and not what should be. i’m really hoping things collectively begin to get better even though of course nothing can make up for what’s already happened. i am sending you a lot of love and strength for whenever you need it x

[shyampyari]

What if our asshole listened to Krishna and kunti and headcanons for arjuna and karna hating each other but still fighting together.

If this had happened the war would have ended much earlier, like maybe 7 days?but the destruction, however, wouldn't would have been any less. The whole revealing and confronting had made someone like karna's heart weak, what would it do to arjuna? When the truth was revealed, it was yudhishthir that had mourned the most (i always felt that it was a little exaggerated) but Arjuna? he was shocked but quite until he finally opened his mouth only to ask yudhishtir to shut up, he tried to put some sense of artha and dand in him. Why? Imagine loosing (more like killing) your granddad, who had offered them shelter after the lose of their fater, your guru who had treated you no more or less than his own child, a son so dear to him, his other son and so many other. Don't you think a person will go numb after this much of grief? Maybe that's what happened to him. But now imagine this being told to him before such a feeling of sadness had already abandoned him, before he had become a heigher being, before Krishna had provided him the knowledge of gita, he would have been broken (this poor boi). That been said, let me provide you what a gem the pandavs would have been if karna was a part of the pandavs. However, i don’t think they would have hated each other so much after know what they were like,

Karna would drop him stubbornness to prove himself as the greatest archer. Why? would you really want to prove yourself better at something than your younger sibling?

Pandavs would have obviously won but the confidence of the kauravs would have reduced by like 1/4th. Resulting, Duryodhan would have been more frustrated and would be taking more dumb decisions. He had lost the person that would counter Arjuna, moreover, now he would need to counter 2 such ppl. He would probably just cry in Shakuni’s lap

Arjuna would have still needed the gita gyan (this boy is v soft and needs to be protected, now he has karna to do so).

Karna’s sons would probably also be killed by Ashwattama, so now they would need another heir for Indraprastha.

But wait

Karna would be the crowned king (being the eldest) and as Krishna had bribed him, Draupadi would be his wife. This is the part that i don’t find so pretty about this headcanon. The guy who insulted you is now your husband? In my head, I hope Karna would have rejected that part.(but it’s still debatable) (Karna x Draupadi shippers are not invited)

Karna and Arjuna would have been salty to each other at the start but then maybe at some time, alone preferably, they would have a heart to heart conversation, where karna would tell him that he no longer wanted to be the greatest archer in the world and that

“You, my little brother Arjuna, are the greatest archer this world will ever witness. Little brother, I am proud of” 

To this Arjuna starts to cry and curses himself and then karna joins in and they both are just this cutie ball of crying mess. Krishna is watching them from a distance with a smile on his lips and tears in his eyes.

These two are inevitable. 

And the purest bond ever. 

Karna would have been a just ruler with yudhishthir as his prime advisor while Krishna is now gone to Dwarka to live his remaining life with his children and wives.

Oh and the curse

I have a feeling that Gandhari would have also cursed Karna because you see, he was Duryodhan’s support systems (they shared 2 brain cells, both of them belonging to Karna) and with him gone, Duryoudhan’s doom was waiting for him.

What’s interesting is how will she curse him? He already has two curses to work with.

Anyway I don’t want to end on sad note.

So Parikshit

This boy is gonna be THE GREATEST warrior ever, cause imagine being the son of Abhimanyu and then being thought by Arjuna and Karna themselves.

like dayum

I think he would die before the whole Swarga-Prasthan, like he will have 4 curses to catch up on. 

And this will add upto the pandava’s grief 

However

I think things would have been better if they had the shadow of Karna on them Rather than that of Yudhishthir.

There you go bb @1nsaankahanhai-bkr 

@chaanv put some more gyan to this post?

@incorrectmahabharatquotes so maybe this gets exposed to more ppl. sorry im an attention hoe

Edit: because i have a very dumb and malfunctioning, mortal brain and also the fact that i had to attend a Calculus class in between writing this post, I forgot to add a few things so lemme just-

The war would have obviously suffer a huge impact on it due to the change in the density of power now.

I think Karna would have let the Pandavas handle the whole Bheeshma situation because they had a deeper connection and deeper emotions with the old man.

I also can’t see him interfering in the death of Drona. 

I have a feeling that he would be responsible for keeping track of Ashwatthama but maybe not killing him. Krishna guessed everyone’s faith, I think he might have know what was to come from Ashwatthama too so he would have saved him for that, besides, it was Arjuna who had done penance to defeat an army containing someone who is a partial incarnation of lord Shiva himself. So I guess he would have helped tackle ppl like Drona and Bheeshma when they were still alive

oh and also the narayani sena

 why is Narayani  sena so underrated? 

Coming to Abhimanyu’s death. With Karna gone, I think there would have been no one to counter Abhimayu’s young and fast moves. They would have injured him, sure, but end him? i don’t think so. Karna would have helped him, of course, but then again, Shakuni would have found a way to keep him away but for how long? Jayadrath would have been kept alive till the sunset and just as Arjuna would have showed up, a very injured Abhimanyu with a proud Karna on his side would have been waiting for him to finish off this asshole who was now lying on the ground and begging for mercy.

And did Abhimanyu survive? I don’t think so. He would have been slain in the silence of the night with his cousins. He would have still died a death caused by cheating.

Duryodhan’s Death would have been the most painful one for Karna. After all, they were such dear friends. I have a feeling that an injured Duryodhan, moments away from his death, would have refused to talk to Karna. Karna would have stayed at a very far distance, watching with mournful eyes what had become of his friend.

‘this wouldn’t would have happened if I had taken his side’

but then all the unjust and adharma would have flashed in front of his eyes almost at once. Krishna’s voice in his head, he couldn’t hear them, but he could feel it. The terror of realization.

and when he would look up again to see the person that caused it all, his sight would be blocked by a very grieve struck Ashwatthama, hunching over his dear friend’s almost lifeless body.

He could see Duryodhan whispering something to Aswatthama. Even from this distance one could see Ashwatthama trembling from anger and vengeance. You could almost see his aura go completely black

As Ashatthama left the, now lifeless, body of his childhood companion, he knew that it had been

His legs, however felt frozen from this still new sense of responsibility that he held of being elder to 5 pandavas now.

so he would kneel to the ground and weep. 

If he wasn’t much broken already amidst the fractured sense of celebration that the pandavas had held in the air, he might have let a tear drop for his sons. 

oh shit

sorry this just got really sad

anyway, I made some additions @1nsaankahanhai-bkr  @chaanv@incorrectmahabharatquotes 

[ofanya]

STATS / PINTEREST / CONNECTIONS / CLASSES

⌠ NATALIA DYER, 21, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, ANYA CASIRAGHI! according to their records, they’re a SECOND year, specializing in AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL, HAND TO HAND COMBAT + RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (embroidery on lace, waking up early to catch the sunset, the scent of fresh strawberries, perfect balance on tiptoes). when it’s the (libra)’s birthday on 9/24/99, they always request their ARANCINI DI RISO from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kati, 24, she/her, est ⍀ @gallagherintro

INSPIRATION.

cho chang – harry potter 

grace blood – skins

esme cullen – twilight 

yue – avatar the last airbender

lexi howard – euphoria

laurel castillo – how to get away with murder

jane bennett – pride and predjudice 

ann perkins – parks & rec

kwon sun-hwa – lost

BACKGROUND + CLICK FOR BIO.

anya is the third-born casiraghi child after salvatore (oldest) and nico (second-oldest) and the first girl. she’s labeled extremely bright from a young age, but she doesn’t start speaking until she’s almost five years old. the casiraghi parents aren’t even concerned, they don’t think speech is an important quality for a girl. 

the first thing she ever says is a full sentence: “i want to go out with the boys.” it’s almost as if she could have spoken this whole time, she’d just been waiting. but of course, she’s told no, and she wants to be part of the lives that nico and salvatore lead but she’s pushed the side and told to be something else, something more ornamental. 

goes to ballet and etiquette classes instead ( the casiraghis are taught in their own home, much too good for even the best of private schools ) and often feels like she has to make up or carry things in lieu of the behavior of her younger sister. cecilia is reckless and insolent, does what she likes, and anya is jealous, but not jealous enough to do the same. anya is held to a higher standard as she’s meant to set an example and there’s a bit of bitterness that grows in her because of that. 

anya teaches herself as much about finance and business as salvatore and nico, but instead of her business or career prospects, her parents talk only of marriage proposals and future prospects. the education in espionage is a placeholder, she learns things so she’ll be able to make intelligent small talk at dinner parties or be a good companion for a man someday, not because she can run an empire. it’s very frustrating, but she takes this quietly, as always.

(DRUG ABUSE/OPIOIDS TW) anya breaks her ankle in dance practice when she’s 16, a compound fracture. it’ll heal, but she will never be able to dance in the same way again. there’s a numbness inside of her that only seems to be assuaged by the pills prescribed by her doctor that are intended to ease the pain. the pills ease the tightness in your chest every time she sits at the dinner table and long after her ankle heals, anya continues to use the pills like a crutch.

(OVERDOSE TW) she overdoses at 17 and is sent to a rehab facility. the entire ordeal is done very quietly, made to seem like a pleasant vacation – a dirty secret, something to be ashamed of, and it’s emphasized that anya should be so grateful to her family for taking care of her when she’s such a disappointment. she spends the summer at the best facility that money can by, and she returns clean, determined not to be such a disappointment, but the numbness doesn’t seem to quite fade. 

she heads to gallagher academy at 19, following her brother nico to school in america. she has no idea of the legal proceedings going on under her nose because she’s just so excited to get out of the house, unaware why her parents are so quick to send her away. nico hates it, finds it unpleasant and uncouth and a lot of the students are slovenly, but anya loves it, thrives under the guise of freedom and the ability to speak in a classroom where her voice matters.

naturally, the casiraghi family loses everything, as you might recall. her parents say that anya’s lucky she’s pretty because she could still marry nicely, and if it’s soon then the casiraghi name might still mean something. they remind anya of how much she owes them, how good they were to her when she attempted to sour the family name.

PERSONALITY.

DIPLOMATIC. is really good at choosing her words in a way that keeps the peace and is very intentional about the language that she chooses to use. she believes a lot in 'fairness’ and everyone getting a fair chance at things, so on, and she’s good at controlling difficult situations without upsetting ppl. 

NURTURING. has a very caring personality and always wants to look after others. she’s this way with plants and animals as well, and i think she’s really good at encouraging people to achieve their goals or advocate for themselves, she just can’t...do that for herself. but she will take care of u and smother u but in a loving way. 

RELIABLE. will show up at your doorstep in the rain with an umbrella, the first person to complete everything in the group project, if she makes you a promise she will follow through and then some. u can say some shit about anya, but she is fucking dependable and will come through for you whenever you need her most or you don’t think you need her at all, she’s still there. 

NON-CONFRONTATIONAL. will go out of her way to avoid a fight or try to keep the peace, she will also do this with others, putting herself in the middle of things to keep other people from fighting – she just will do ANYTHING to avoid a confrontation. annoying tbh. 

NAIVE. she really doesn’t know much about the world at large and will always find herself believing the best in people or hoping for the best case scenario when it isn’t always true. this could be seen as a good thing, but i think pretty much anyone has the ability to take advantage of her, it’s not hard. 

TIMID. anya has always had trouble advocating for herself and what she really wants, she has a lack of courage when it comes to fighting for her own passions and will easily take a backseat for others to take the spotlight. one direction vc: u don’t know ur beautiful

HEADCANONS.

idk why my brain was like . try to make this char into modern commentary on the 50s housewife but here we are 

i had no idea what i was doing with her late-talking thing except trying to somehow manifest how oppressive her home was, but rowan sent me some article about einstein syndrome and how late talkers like anya are highly analytical thinkers so we’re going with that ! 

was jumped on by a very big dog when she was very small and her face got scratched, so she has a bit of a fear of large dogs...it’s not that she doesn’t like them in theory, they just scare her and she hasn’t seemed to outgrow it. 

still loves to dance even though she’s well aware that she could never really do it professionally or on stage because of the way her ankle won’t bend, but you can usually catch her...somewhere on gallagher’s campus where she could practice privately ? 

also does a lot of yoga to center herself, she loves early mornings and generally her routine is to get up, make a cup of tea, watch the sunrise and then do a little bit of yoga. routine makes her feel in control so she has a habit of sticking to it.

loves to bake and is really good at it ! happy to binge great british bakeoff with anyone but then she will want to try all of the recipes and challenges herself. she likes the exact science of it and it’s another one of her hobbies that helps her feel like she maintains a sort of balance within herself. if you do it right, it all works out – baking makes sense.

she’s had one certain relationship when she was pretty young and definitely is not a person for one night stands, so...she’s a virgin ! 

in general she is baby but she is also mom. 

does not like most green vegetables but especially brussel sprouts. 

will wince when other people curse, has a tendency to speak very proper herself because of the way that she was raised. has extremely good manners, table or otherwise.  

gets really easily overwhelmed at big parties or functions with crowds of people and will generally find some excuse in order to, well, excuse herself. she just feels like she has to be ON all the time and it’s very exhausting to her, would much rather curl up and watch movies or something. 

is very straight edge, doesn’t drink/smoke/etc as a result of her past, she stays away from anything that could increase temptation and make her fall back into past habits. 

had/has a cat at home named gio, technically the family cat but it always felt the most like anya’s and it would sleep with her and everything however since the house was seized, no one has been able to find gio </3

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

best friend – i know, it’s hard to just plot this, but ! i would love someone who maybe was her roommate last year, the first person that anya met on campus and they just clicked right away and made anya feel really at home. i would love if this character was a foil for anya’s nurturing, softspoken nature, so a girl who is a bit louder and more confident. 

childhood crush – idk someone who could have known the casiraghi family for years or operated in that scene, maybe from a wealthy family and anya has a long-time unrequited crush on them. anya’s really kind, but she probably acts a bit standoffish or rude toward this character, so they probably think she hates them.  

bad influence – a character who’s a bit on the wild side who’s turned anya into their project – they want to get her out of her shell, help anya let loose and get out more, but maybe this is also some bad temptation for her since she has some...old bad habits. 

good influence (on) – anya is PEAK mom friend, so i’m looking for a connection that really displays that, someone she looks after. she’s the first person they call when they’re too fucked up and she’s always texting them the homework (and maybe the answers too).

ex-family friends – maybe your character’s family testified against the casiraghi family in the court case and helped send anya’s parents to prison. so, anya and your character used to be close friends but now she avoids your character out of familial obligation. 

fake dating? anya’s parents would like to pressure her into an engagement or see her with someone well-off, so if your character is from a rich asf family, perhaps they’ve done anya a solid. they’re not actually fake dating around campus or lying to their friends, but they’re close friends with anya and might go home with her to perpetrate the lie on a holiday when she goes to see sal and maybe they have taken a few cute selfies together for anya to send home – it would probably be YOUR character that suggests this to anya and encourages her to have a bit of freedom, so i imagine our chars would be friends. 

first love/ex – someone that anya might have known or met when she was younger, probably through family connections. they would’ve been around 15 at the time, so a genuine first relationship (like probably first kiss for her), but at this age her mental health was really bad and they probably broke up as a result of going to rehab. perhaps they feel guilty about not being more supportive or perhaps they did all they could but it was too heavy? we can discuss, but either way, super angsty.

protector – idk i would just love if someone saw how much of herself she puts into taking care of others and wanted to take care of her/look out for her instead and they’re just that friend who is really protective of her and reminds her to look after herself too

crush – i just want her to have a little bit of a crush/affinity for a girl that helps her realize that she’s not straight because she’s too repressed and never considered anything except heterosexuality til this point idk i just like when girls.

enemy – probably an ex-friend or something like that. maybe anya trusted them with a secret and they betrayed her or they tried to throw her under the bus to gain something. or maybe anya just got on your character’s bad side by being too much of a goody-two-shoes.

idk give me someone that relentlessly flirts with her because they think it’s hilarious that she gets so shy and doesn’t really know what to do about it, and she really does not know what to do about it ! 

also am down to brainstorm since i know the casiraghis already have a bit of a reputation so...i’m blessed taking a sibling connection and perhaps we can just bounce off of things you’ve already plotted with deanna and/or kit ( cecilia & n*co ) !

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

typing help needed: i get rly obsessed with things & have to know everything abt them (astrology, cats, certain fictional characters, etc) & constantly bring them up in conversations. speaking of which, i only really initiate conversations when there’s something specific i want to talk about; i don’t talk to people just for talking’s sake. i’m ambivalent about spending time w ppl. i could go months w/o seeing ppl as long as i could text them & most people are boring to me anyway, but there are types of ppl whose company i never get tired of. i love being around funny, ambitious & intelligent ppl who tell it like it is. really emotional & soft ppl annoy me. stupid ppl annoy me but also amuse me. what annoys me most is when ppl waste my time (n i lowkey feel guilty abt this ask bc it’s so long & unorganized i’m sorry i tried). i’m constantly tempted to prank people/provoke fights but i’m scared of getting in trouble. academic & financial success are extremely important to me. i’ll sacrifice anything for straight As. i put 100% effort into everything i do as long as i’m interested in it (chores? hell no.) but lose steam quickly and slack off when a project is near completed. still, i do whatever i need to to outperform my classmates. the thought of working a 9-5 office job fills me with unimaginable dread because i hate rigid schedules & having to see the same boring people/place every single day. i want to write/draw for a living and/or be a professor, don’t rly have a plan tho i just take opportunities as they come. i live to entertain. i love wearing weird/flashy clothes that attract attention. i’m “the funny one” and “the creative one” in my friend group. i’m an open book in that i’ll answer p much any question honestly. but the intimacy of romantic relationships is hard for me. i hate feeling vulnerable and i’m terrified of rejection. i’ve never confessed romantic feelings to anyone, but i’ll do crazy things for “love.” i got myself a full ride scholarship to a private high school just because someone i liked was going to go there & then did the same thing for a different person for college. i’m confident & insecure at the same time, like i know i’m smart & capable but i worry that other people won’t see that. i have terrible fomo and i feel like i’m losing a race against everyone else my age. i’m pretty opinionated when it comes to politics & v vocal when i disagree w someone unless they have power over me in which case i bitch about them behind their back. i love a good fight but tap out when people refuse to listen to reason. i have over 20000 accounts blocked on twitter. i wish ppl were less sensitive bc i hate trying not to make them upset. i don’t want to make them upset but i hate that i have to act fake nice in order to do that. it happens a lot in my classes when we critique e/o’s work like i have nothing positive to say to u i’m sorry. i’m a deeply angry person but i try to hide it bc despite wanting to not care abt what people think of me i often do & i’m scared they’d hate the real me. anyway i think i’m an NP but no idea about the other 2 letters & enneagram i have no clue i feel like i don’t fit neatly into any of them. thanks in advance for reading all this hogwash !

okay before I read this...how are you getting around the character limit per ask? I’ve seen this a couple times but very inconsistently but anyway I might need to reframe my ask limit as a character limit (which this is technically under although I can’t believe I’m saying this, but much as I hate copying and pasting each part of 7 asks at least that method has paragraph breaks).

Anyway, ESTP, enneagram 3.

- a lot of the “I wish I could be more chaotic but I’m worried about getting in trouble or being seen as less than impressive” stuff here is very in line with how an Ne or Se-dom 3 acts

- hating routine, grabbing opportunities effectively but for impulsive reasons, and putting effort in based solely on interest or succeeding against certain metrics (rather than say, general obligations) are all very Ne or Se dom as well

- the specific examples you gave of seizing opportunities, the fact that you gave specific examples in the first place (this is a good thing; a lot of questions I get have me like....concrete examples? spare a concrete example for the sensor?), the 3-ness of it all, and the fomo all sound far more like high Se than high Ne to me. The focus on external metrics and the weird flashy clothes also have me thinking high Se.

- the caring to the degree you do about other people and their opinions of you is definitely part of 3 (especially since a lot of it is about not getting into trouble or having good grades) but also pretty clearly the Ti-Fe axis; this isn’t strictly being impressive via competence the way many Te-doms do it, but through interpersonal tracks as well.

- the part about arguments is 100% high Ti. I have no idea how you blocked so many people on twitter or why and frankly I’m not sure how that’s relevant, but one of the greatest hallmarks of high Ti and especially aux Ti (it’s the extroversion) is loving arguments and even starting them but the second someone else doesn’t engage with the rules (which can be valid, like being reasonable, but can also include the other person pointing out this is legitimately a matter of opinion) leaving or getting frustrated or doubling down in weird ways.

[birlcholtz]

bipolar nursey hcs

specifically bipolar II bc that’s what i know the most about. disclaimer i’m not a psychologist! this is based on my own experiences so it shouldn’t be interpreted as a template for bipolar ii characters. (if ur not familiar with the distinctions, bipolar ii is diff from bipolar i bc it has longer periods of depression and hypomania instead of mania. so tw: depression and hypomania)

at first he just thinks he gets depressed every so often

he talks to a psychiatrist about it and winds up describing the weekends that happen sometimes where he runs on about four hours of sleep total because he’s writing and he doesn’t feel tired, he sends his friends long strings of texts about the new project he wants to start at three in the morning when they’re already asleep and when they wake up he’s already up again too and SUPER down to facetime while he writes and listens to music

and it’s hard to accept that those are a symptom of mental illness because he writes *so much* and he feels happy and excited and confident and that’s not something he wants to give up? but it goes hand in hand w the depression so.

he has tons of unfinished works that he’ll start, work on as much as humanly possible, and then when the manic episode ends he can’t really figure out what was so inspiring about that idea in the first place

but he keeps them all just in case he wants to pick something back up later, and sometimes he even does pick things back up

but he also spends a lot of time just staring out the window because the idea of having an idea and working on it seems completely out of reach atm

figuring out the right meds (and the right dosages and combinations are a Whole other thing but i won’t get into that here lol) takes a long time and nursey finds that stabilizers def stabilize him, they just also make him more depressed which is frustrating

he also knows scraps of tons of different languages because sometimes at 11pm he’s like you know what? i’m gonna learn all of [insert language] rIGHT NOW

he knows So Much about armor because he went down a research rabbit hole that lasted several days. he didn’t buy any armor because he wouldn’t have a good place to put it. it was a close thing though. and then he did the same thing with tarot and he does own a tarot deck now (it’s smaller than a suit of armor)

and talking about it is weird because he always has to make clear that no, his manic episodes aren’t as serious as what ppl usually hear about, and yeah he has the Big Sad but it’s really like.... the Medium Large Sad and it just happens to be fairly consistent when it’s not interrupted by manic episodes

idk y’all i just like this hc

[normal-thoughts-official]

Any hcs about Raphael and Magnus and Meliorn fucking with Alec and the rest of the Polycule about things that happened in the past? Like Mel can’t lie but they can def be obscure/misleading and Raphael is so deadpan and Magnus would absolutely make up shit that sounds almost real. If we wanna get angsty about it it’s also a way for all of them to cope with losing so many ppl (more Magnus and Raphael since Mel is less involved with mundanes, but I digress).

god YES. tbh i love to think of raphaeliorn as the prank power couple (not in a mean way, just. like you said raphael is pretty deadpan and meliorn knows how to be misleading and they both greatly enjoy being little shits, and they blindside everyone because no one EXPECTS a couple that radiates such serious and respectable vibes to be just a couple of ABSOLUTE PRANKSTERS. i feel like simon and maia also like to be little shits but like, the best duo is def raphael and meliorn)

magnus doesn’t outright lie to people he trusts, i don’t think, even if he does enjoy confusing shadowhunters with his shit from time to time (i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again the whole freud thing was bullshit there’s no way magnus was friends with that racist biphobic ass) but he does love playing two truths and a lie, especially with alec and/or simon (raphael knows him too well and can tell exactly when he’s lying pretty easily) because their reactions are the best. alec gets it right a reasonable amount of times, but it’s still enjoyable because he always laughs at his lies, and his truths, and always looks at him with these wide eyed wonder at all of magnus’ ridiculous stories like he’s the most precious thing when really he’s just feeding alec some inside jokes and stories, and he’s a simple man. whereas simon SUCKS and gets it wrong every single time

raphael in particular loves watching simon and magnus play two truths and a lie. especially because simon is always like “i think third one is a lie. is it the third one? raphael, is it the third one? come on, help me out here. you did a little eyebrow raise, i think. he did, didn’t he? what does it mean. i’m probably wrong. it’s the second one” “it’s the first one” “NO” “and i didn’t raise my eyebrow, by the way” 

(simon is super frustrated, but then raphael kisses his hand and smiles at him and meliorn says that at least his logic was good, and simon feels a little happier. he’s gonna get it right one of these days. he’s not, because magnus can tell what his thought process will be and designs his games accordingly)

also two truths and a lie is the one game alec miraculously doesn’t get competitive over (even if magnus does because he loves designing those little games) because he just loves hearing magnus share stories about his past and the absolutely crazy shit he makes up and aaaaaaaa

and raphaeliorn just love dropping random shit that they made up on the both of them + any shadowhunter really + probably some of the other clan members just because they can. they steer clear of seelies because seelies get very distressed when they’re outright lied to, since it’s literally impossible in their culture. and while they enjoy being little shits, they don’t want to cause actual distress

but they’ll be casually talking and raphael will drop an “ah, i remember the 1929 crisis” and simon’s like “i thought you were born in the 30s??” and meliorn is like “why did you think so?” and simon is like “wasn’t he? i was so sure. wasn’t he?” and maia laughs into her sleeve 

(they quickly relent and raphael tells him that yes, he was born in the 30s, and simon really should be more confident in what he knows because simon isn’t one to forget this kind of thing. simon is just like “i don’t want to get it wrong”, raphael just tells him it doesn’t matter and plays with his hand. can you tell that im a soft fucker)

they particularly love doing that in front of maia because she always has the best time. she might not be very into setting up these pranks or whatever herself (not like she can anyway since she’s not immortal yet) but boy she does love watching them confuse the shit out of everyone. especially because raphael always looks at her with that straight face, but she can see the way his eyes kinda twinkle with mischief and it’s adorable. she kisses his cheek for his efforts later

basically let them be silly and little shits okay i love them the end