#and i worry for the future bc the “story is the least important part” guy and “lol you can only like the old games bc nostalgia” guy-

[ganondoodle]

1 year since i got scammed by nintedno leaving me forever yearning for a game we will never get and an extreme worry for the future

[kevotsuka]

rafannadal matchvedev here PLEASE your tags on that jerez video... i definitely think marcs feelings towards pecco and luca are Different compared to marco? pecco esp with his racing in emilios moto3 team and teammates with alex and everything, and luca bc hes... known him for a while, hasnt he...... vales baby brother......... UGH GOD anyway hes known them both for soooo long and much more closely than bezz, right, so i def think where bezz counts as full-fledged academy member One Of Vales Boys, he kinda Missed important... developments... and im sure hes been Filled In but also. hm. pecco and luca def def def... special.......... i always remember that interview marc did where he was asked what his relationship with pecco, bezz and luca is like and he said great with pecco and luca and didnt even mention marco 😭 literally forgets about him all the time, it feels like, and then bezz didnt really make the greatest effort to be Friendly, has he... apart from liking one million of marcs insta posts up until the divorce happened 😭😭😭 and now what, for a decade bezz has been icy but marc is supposed to care about him? never. he has REASON to care for pecco and luca and even franky, but bez?

@rafannadal matchvedev ,one or dearest tumblrlinas of this site ... You're so right and all your words are soo real

i have so many feelings for cev pecco and marc and they interactions, Pequito looking at Marc with stars in his eyes, to shy to ask for anything but still around him in the box in case of Marc decided talk to him. Marc who see Pecco and 'ow, he's good, he would become better in the future', his future teammate now

and Luca, little honda fan Luca who watches how they take marc since the begging of his career and maybe think 'i can dream with that? i hope one day...' like Vale doesn't ruin every bridge to honda for him (this is related and parallel to the Alex M/Yamaha saga to). Luca who never really ended up in the middle of the divorce, unlike Alex who had to physically push people away to protect his brother Luca always saying nice things about Marc (the Ducati thing? Like he said it just because is a little shit who loves drama, but was a choice and he take it) and Marc chose don't be like Valentino or his people have a part of my heart

And then we have Bez . 'who?' in Marc's books. Bezz who was growing up, he take a side and wants to die for it in the way teens would die for they beliefs and never think about it after that. Bezz who watches Marc win unfairly, because he ruined Vale career, so everything good happen to him would happen to Vale instead.

Bez who wasn't worry about Marc's lession and probably think 'he deserves that' with a bit of more malice than he knows he have inside of him. The honda slowly trying to kill Marc's makes him forgot how good he really is

Bez now is a adult but he never questioned the divorce before, about the evil, the horror bedtime story that Uccio tells to warn them about Marquez. But now he knows Marc, at least one part of him, that one who doesn't feed the press telling what happen that day. He could ruins Marco, but chose don't and that maybe change something, or maybe was when Marco watches him with a good bike again at the point he's LEARNING from him-

and then we have Marc who barely know this fucking guy who yelled at him at one of the most emotional days of his career, the pain of his arm with the last day with his FAMILY in a race who was ruined for someone else and he can't really be angry for that, but Bez?

'no voy a perder tiempo con ese personaje' and he is committed whit it. He don't think about that guy, he barely respond his words and act like bez doesn't exist when he can. For someone like Bez who lives for being recognized

And is all Bez fault, i think is beautiful <3

[frogletscribe]

A:FoP Sky Breaker DLC Thoughts...

Alright so i finished the main story of the DLC and have let my thoughts cook for a minute. This is just some of my thoughts/opinions overall. I will have to do a separate post for my more intense thoughts because I managed to actually hit the character limit and I wasn't even halfway through everything (i didn't even know tumblr had one of those and I've been on here for over a decade)

Spoilers for Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora Sky Breaker DLC under the cut.

The opening? Gorgeous. Amazing. Fantastic. Obsessed with the little cut scene of our Sarentu on their Ikran. I am in love. I was really pleasantly surprised to see Kin right off the bat too! Thats my grandpa, i love him! And then walking with the Zakru and getting to hear other NPCs talking was really nice. I loved the banter about So'lek.

Getting into the main games camp was visually very pretty but confusing. I got lost immediately (distracted by the wandering Zakru) and accidently came in from the back? and then proceeded to not be able to find anything or anyone. I kept getting turned around and winding up back with Etuwa and Ka'nat. I did eventually find everyone else but it was a struggle.

Was Eetu only there at the very start??? He was hanging out with So'lek and having a very cute banter and then as everything progress he completely disappeared. Sosul too for that matter. It made me a little worried when he wasn't there after a while bc it felt like almost all the other key npcs got at least a small cameo in other quests but not Eetu? I got paranoid he died but also i think hes an important enough NPC that someone else would have said something if that was the case. I guess i just wanted more of him in general. (Im biased/delusional and ship him with my Sarentu, i will take literally anything)

Theres also a smaller moment, walking around where Teylan calls and starts talking about Nor, about how he would have loved the games, that really got me. For a second i actually thought Nor might come back later in the story, but given how things went it makes sense that he wouldnt. I do really hope that Nor shows up in the next DLC because I really need closure for him. He deserves to see and be a part of what his fellow Sarentu are building and to heal from all the hurt he has been through.

Can the Zeswa PLEASE catch a break? 😭 First the arches are collapsed, then Pasuk, now this?? I need this to be the last big bad thing that happens to them for a while.

More So'lek all the time please! I love him. I loved his role in the over all story and how he helps us throughout the final mission. He is the reason i am desperate for a romance in this game, but i can't have that so i'll just have to write it myself fhdjskghfs

I will be making a separate post about my thoughts on everything with Alma and Mokasa.

With the last of TAP (more or less) gone now, I'm really curious about the next DLC and the general future of Frontiers. Secrets of the Spires comes out in Fall, which is rapidly approaching, but i doubt we will hear anything until like September at the earliest. I think I remember hearing about a new clan in the new area for that one?? (Could be wrong though) Im really curious what the plot for that one is gonna be now that Mercer and Harding are gone.

Hopefully we will see Nor again. I'm kinda also hoping for a movie cameo? like Norm or Max showing up? We got an audio cameo of Ardmore, i think it'd be cool to see some friendly faces or at least audio for one of those guys. I don't think we will get a Jake cameo but i would lose my mind if we did lol.

Im also really hoping that theres more content coming in the future? More DLC or comics or something cause AFoP is the only thing keeping me sane when it comes to Avatar Brainrot rn.

[fireemblems24]

Scarlet Blaze Ch 15 (Final)

Last one, everyone! After this, I finally get to play Spiritfarer which I got on . . . Christmas 2022.

NARRATION

Last chapter. Finally. Killing so many people in this route is really awful. Especially since you just . . . don't in the other two.

I think the last chapter will take place at the monastery.

Oh, great, does this mean I have to protect Bernie's dad in this route? I hope Rhea kills him, like gets this badass cut scene where she cuts him down for perverting her faith by using it as a propaganda tool.

So TWSITD showed up and is attacking Rhea and the Empire.

They're mostly after the "beasts" (aka Nabateans? Or humans?)

I wish this meant that we teamed up with Rhea, but we know Edelgard would team up with TWSITD first.

Catherine and Rhea got a cool moment together though.

Yep, we have to protect Count Varley, gross.

MAP

No side battles! This final chapter will be super quick, which is nice.

I'm VERY curious what the Golden Deer students say after Claude's moment last chapter lamo.

And if any Lions mention Sylvain :((((

OMG, Ignatz is savage. He only cares about painting the battle. No mention of Claude.

Yuri wishes he could kill Varley instead of save him. Good for him. He really feels more suited for AG/AM/SS/VW than SB/CF/GW.

Well, at least Mercedes mentioned Sylvain. And Ingrid and Annette. Saying they died for what they believed in and admires them for it, since she could never.

Poor Ashe is having a crisis. Still had no idea wtf he's doing in the Empire's war camp. Honestly, this game made him so much more interesting.

Linhardt also has no fucking clue why he's here. I swear he does nothing but complain every map (in a funny way) and wish he was doing literally anything else.

Lorenz is more concerned about his future bc of Claude than worried about him. Man, guy really has no one loyal to him lol.

DOROTHEA & CASPAR C

I swear I did a much better job getting supports in GW and AG.

Caspar has a bunch of books, and Dorothea's horrified by the idea that he'll use them in training.

Caspar plans to read them. Dorothea teases him. Apparently Lin made similar comments.

Dorothea makes him promise not to hurt the books. A woman after my own heart.

Caspar's like, did you know my dad reads! Dorothea's like, yeah . . . how do you think he got his role if he didn't.

Dorothea tells a story about an unlearned commander who studied strategy in books and improved to become legendary.

The only stupid part of this is thinking you can read and understand complicated books in 5 days and become an expect in 5 days. For once, Caspar was the smart one being like, uh, I need more time.

MERCEDES & LYSITHEA B

This support is SB locked, but neither characters are Eagles. It may be the only support like that in the game. But, hey, new Mercie content, I'll take it!

Mercedes comes across Lysithea in the kitchen, trying and failing to cook.

The fruits she wanted to use are moldy though. Lysithea has an idea to use something else for the fruit - a sugar syrup.

Lysithea has dedicated her time to learning how to cook because of how good Mercedes' cooking was, so she credits Mercie for the sugar syrup, which she learned because of that.

Baking also helped Lysithea learn the importance of taking breaks.

Mercie calls her a wizened old grandma, lol.

They arrange a tea party.

SHEZ & LINHARDT A

It starts with Linhardt saying they haven't learned anything about Shez's powers. I wonder how funny this sounds if you get it after the special chapters.

Linhardt says it's find because the war is almost over, so there's less need and chance for the powers to go out of control.

Shez pretty consistently wants to continue working as a mercenary after the battle.

He also seems to have no desire to stay in Enbarr lol.

Linhardt wants Shez as a personal bodyguard. Honestly, not a bad choice.

Then Linhardt says something like "spending the rest of my life with some random bodyguard" and then makes an excuse to leave. so he wants to stick with Shez for life. It's kind of sweet.

EDELGARD & PETRA A

Their only support

Edelgard comes across Petra praying to Bigid gods. In Brigid they pray in nature rather than in churches in Fodlan.

Edelgard asks Petra why she's risking her life in the war because it's bad for Brigid.

So Brigid will only be freed if Petra remains alive.

To be fair, it's because she doesn't know the new leader. Still feels a bit icky for Petra.

Edelgard warns about "tricks" the enemy will use. She really has a beef with anyone using tactics.

Petra just says she's happy to fight and can't run while everyone else remains and fights.

Edelgard says she can't back out, which true, but she could've just not started one. But that's in the past I guess.

Overall, came across better than the Houses one where Petra didn't seem like an equal.

EDELGARD/LYSITHEA/HAPI PARALOGUE

My plan is to have Edelgard and Shez make the other two adjuncts and see if I can't beat the paralogue that way.

It's about TWSITD, which isn't surprising given that character list.

God, I've made SB Shez so fucking stupid. Never understanding anything. It's so funny.

So is this about Cornelia? They found one of her old hideouts.

I had Shez shrug about joining. Hapi got offended.

They're talking about Hubert. I wish he was here. He's my best unit.

I wish Cornelia showed up. She's so fun, but sadly she did not.

They didn't find anything. Hapi was mostly chill about it. Edelgard and Lysithea were more bothered.

Shez could show concern or change the subject. Obviously I made him change the subject since SB!Shez is not intelligent.

CASPAR/LINHARDT PARALOGUE

Like the last time, I just plan to adjunct Caspar and let Shez and Linhardt do all the work.

They're arguing if Caspar saw a ghost or not. Linhardt remains unconvinced.

Lamo, their dads showed up and Linhardt's dad called him a "fountain of positivity" when he brought up their could die any day.

Linhardt is also upset that he has to help.

We're hunting down Empire people who've turned against Edelgard.

I had Shez not want to go lol.

The main battle changed to defeating their dads. I don't think I'm supposed to take this paralogue seriously.

Linhardt had no fun.

Bergliez gave Caspar some gaunlets, and I could either be happy for him or jealous. I obviously picked jealous since it's fun to pick the dick answer lol.

FINAL BATTLE

Why is the S rank reward Edelgard's axe? This is the last battle, right? Is there some post game stuff? Because I'm so ready for this to be done (I don't think I'll do it).

Funny, Edelgard is the one defending the monastery this time, and Varley. Imagine your final battle being about protecting Varley. Ugh.

Only 40 points for the final battle?

Just killed Catherine :(

Cyril just showed up. Rhea's so concerned. Not looking forward to killing a child :((( He died too. This is by far the bloodiest route. I swear no one even dies in AG, and in GW it's only Sylvain's dad.

This can't be it, right? That was too easy. And Cyril as the final boss makes no sense. I'm betting it's a Thales and Rhea fight.

Rhea turned into a dragon. Badass. Glad she was the final boss poper and not Thales.

Spoke too soon. I think they're both here now.

Think I beat it. We're at a cut scene now. Thales is doing magic shit. Rhea attacked him and just ignored Edelgard and Shez like they weren't worth her notice lol.

Wait, that's it?

Rhea pushes Thales off a cliff? So RHEA's the hero??

There's no way they could've survived that - Edelgard. My girl, Rhea is a fucking dragon and Thales can warp. I have bad news from you. Also, Byleth survived a fall too so . . .

What happened to Dimitri? I don't think I killed Claude either?

Is that really it? The war just keeps going. The war just keeps on with no end in sight. Hahahaha. You mean I played how many hours for THAT? I'm going to laugh my ass off if all 3 routes end like this. What a cheap way to avoid killing any of the lords.

OMG. What a stupid ending.

Except for Rhea. She got the big hero moment lol.

I kept waiting for another battle. Esp since there's an S rank reward that's Edelgard's axe, so Idk what's going on.

OMG, this is going to take FOREVER. They're showing the MVP of every single side battle and not just the main ones. I'm only at ch 6.

There was a lot more variety in MVP than I thought. I thought it would be the Hubert show, but it's pretty varied.

Ok, so around ch 10 turns into the Hubert show. I like seeing battle data though, so I sat through it.

Ok, so you get a letter from the person you get a whistle from. Aww, I eventually won Hubert's trust, and he admits he and the army needs us. Glad I picked him.

Wait, no paired endings? That blows. I hope this isn't a new trend since Engage didn't do that either (I love paired endings)

Ok, so it looks like some stuff would carry over to another playthrough on this file. So, in the future, I'd replay AG over my GW or SB playthrough to at least get 2 on the same one. I can't see myself replaying SB or GW. It's not like the story would matter since I could just skip it, but the gameplay is pretty much the same, so why not play the route with my favorites and the most unit choices on top of that?

So you can carry over supports and even unit level. So I could play Dimitri as the absurd level he's at in level one if I saved over my AG file? Because that would be funny. Probably boring. But funny.

Still feels good. One down. Two to go.

xxxx

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1

It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.

Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!

Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.

Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!

Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!

Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?

Either way is ok, I’m just curious!

I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.

Hey!  Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life.  It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year.  I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway.  Was just curious about Step 4.  Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?

Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.

¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english) 

Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.

Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3 

How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.

Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there  would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask 

Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.

Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event? 

It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.

HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!! 

Haha, thank you. He doesn���t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.

Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC? 

Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.

Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3? 

Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.

will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused? 

It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.

Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits? 

Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.

Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it. 

For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.

Did the illustrator for Our Life change? 

We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.

So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀 

Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.

Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.

Keep up the amazing work! ♡

Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.

Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it? 

I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.

Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!

Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline  events planned? 

I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!

Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game! 

The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.

Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place? 

Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.

Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence? 

Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.

Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?

After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.

Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.

She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.

Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀

It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.

—– —– —– —–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Okay by the way like, as I literally yelled (okay said loudly), yes, out loud:

THAT'S HOW THIS EPISODE ENDS XD???

The 'XD' was for tone lol XDD And besides, after that

Anyway!! Also Mateo was absolutely a d o r a b l e in this episode 🥰🥰🥰🥰 Bird bestie 👍👍👍

But yeah! Time for the :)). . .

REVIEW

Okay, so, I loved this episode! Honestly, I love every episode, just some more than others 🥰🥰🥰. And eh, I'd say this is one of them! Probably not one of my absolute favorites, but I really liked it :)). It did feel a little bit boring, some times more than others, plus the fact that I knew Paul would be okay kind of negated it for me a little bit, but I am nervous about the future :((. I'm assuming what they're talking about is an ICD (implantable cardioverter defibrillator - which I had to look up, because all I could think of was IED but obviously I knew that wasn't it xDD Got the 'I' right, though! Even if I didn't know what it stood for, lol, XD), but I truly have no idea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I imagine they were purposefully vague, though - it's easiest, especially for future storyline opportunities, even if those opportunities happen to be limited to just having a character explain it without making it seem to redundant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (alright, that's enough shrugging lol)

But, yeah! First of all: Paul :)). Obviously, lol - I hope, anyway! XD. Well, I suppose I could go with least important/least content first, but, eh,乁| ･ 〰 ･ |ㄏ, I'm not lol. Accidental shrug but it has variety and it works so I put it back in lol. Anyway! Paul.

I A B S O L U T E L Y. L O V E MY BOY!!!!!!

Like literally he's just a guy 😭😭😭😭. Trying his best :'((((. But like, seriously, the part where he says his dad was the best person he knew (ignore my weird tense usage, I think it works lol)? Heartbreaking 💔💔💔💔😭😭. Heartwarming as well though, lol - ❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰 xDD. Just, great. All around XD. But anyway, that paired with him talking about "be who you are", referencing being trans (I assume)? UGH!! My heart 😭😭😭🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I just- I love him so much okay :'))))))?

And don't even get me STARTED on his friendship with Marjan :'D. Like, y'all are L I T E R A L L Y icons 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️😭😭. Love y'all so much <3333 :)).

Also just- "Ride or dies don't ghost each other" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️ YES. I JUST- I LOVE THEM OKAY??? YYEEESSSSSSSSSS ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️🥰❤️❤️❤️🥰. 💔 HEART BROKEN BECAUSE IT HURTS SO MUCH FROM L O V E. And also because they're fighting 😭😭 mainly because Paul's in pain too, so DOUBLE pain for me xdd. But, still, lol. I just- I know it's funny, and it is too, but- themmm :')). Ride or dies :'DD. Ahhh. . . Love them.

But yeah, I am concerned for their friendship in the future :((. I know they'll make up, I just don't know how long it'll be 😬. I imagine, or at least hope, soon though, based on the glimpse of the 3x10 summary I saw.

Back to Paul, though, I am honestly worried that he won't get back to work full force :((. Like, Buck got to in the original 9-1-1, and this is kind of a similar situation, so (story-wise, I mean, lol, not practicality wise xDD) why shouldn't he be able to? Idk, I'd just feel really bad for him if he couldn't, and obviously I'd miss him so, so, much :'(( :'D (bc love him, for the smiley :')) ). We would all miss him, and so would all of them, especially Marjan, and we/I don't deserve THAT (their pain) either, so here we are. With the only possible solution being for it not to happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lol XDD. Seriously though, if it is an ICD, from what I've heard/read, that stuff can mess you up :(( 😬. Fitness and lifestyle wise I mean, mostly. But still :(. It just sucks, and I don't want Paul to be going through this. Limited activities also hits sort of hard with what I'm going through right now and it's just. . . Eulgh. It hurts, and it hits really hard and close to home xdd. Like, not the most thing ever (although, even though I knew it wasn't, probably, for one crazy minute I did consider it being EDS lol - that would be wild XD But, if I can't get rep for that, in glad someone else with something even/way rarer can get it :)) And I'm just glad for them in general lol; happy for you guys, keep going, and doing great :pp :))) ), but still, pretty badly (in a good way xdd). I loved the storyline, of course - honestly that kind of made me love it more :// :)) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lol. XDD But, yeah, I love him, so so So S O much, and I just hope he's okay <333.

Anyway!!

TK (and Tommy): :DDDDDD Loved them so much!!! Just- them :)). Love me some Rescue 126 :')). Although I am wondering where Nancy was lol. Same with Asher in The Good Doctor tonight, I guess (to me I mean): she finally had a shift off from work XDD.

Anyway, I really expected TK to turn her down! Maybe accept it at the end, and if we didn't see one of the meetings, the beginning of the next episode, or near it anyway? Somewhere in 3x10. Or earlier, and see it at the end, again, like we did :). But, seriously, he didn't! Refuse, I mean :)). And honestly, good for him :'D. He deserves some healthiness :))) <33.

Also, real quick note!! I'm glad we addressed (with him doing it) the narcotics safe :)). Especially in this episode, this quickly I mean. I don't know if we'll ever see the confession to Carlos, because I'm sure there is one - I mean, maybe it already happened ¯\_(ツ)_/¯! But, still :). It was good, and I enjoyed it. And it proves (though we were already pretty darn sure), to us, and to him, that he's honest :). Because really, he is - he's just a genuinely honest guy. Sometimes he lies or blows up in the moment, but he always comes clean later. And, tries to make it right if he did something wrong (which tends to go with lying, or even lying being the thing done that was wrong lol), or said something in the previous aftermath or whatever (I'm trying to say like, I'm including times like 2x04 in this xDD). Idk, it's just like: nice :)). Good for him :'pp. Again, like I said (I don't know why I need both of those but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ eh, why not - also, for what I'm about to say, not food-wise lol, or anything like that, you know what I mean xDD), he deserves something healthy :')).

And, the Owen storyline! Yeah, surprisingly, I didn't hate it lol. I love Mateo, and he was cute in it (such an adorable little man <3333 my baby :')) ), so that's a bonus as well lol. But, honestly, yeah! It was heartfelt (maybe that's the world I've been looking for sometimes, lol, xD. I mean, heartwarming works, but they're not always the exact same vibes when they don't have extra explanations, yk? Especially when heartfelt can be sad. . . - I mean, seriously, look at least week with episode 8 lol. But, anyway :) ), Owen actually processed some of his trauma, which- honestly, good for him, lol, we got some more of the background of Gwyn, Owen, and to some extent (in this case of background information I mean, even though for some reason I nearly listed him first lol), TK's family life (the apostrophe 's' family life applies to all of them by the way lol). I just always love when we get some of that/those (facts? I guess? Lol, idk), and it included a bird. Soo, I mean, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I kinda have/had to like it :)). XDD. Even if the bird did die, relating to the fact that it existed in the first place and that there was a bird that died in the storyline itself lol. Although. . .

Turns out the bird's not dead XDD. He's fine, he was just chilling lol. Or faking or something xDD. Idk, maybe a medical problem lol. Like, I know there's a 98% chance he is (dead, I mean) but I just- I think it would be funny XDD.

And his conversation with Judd was cute 🥰🥰. Just two guys, being bros, but literally :DD. Because Judd loves the amazing, wonderful Grace, who, despite us not seeing her much this episode, besides a 9-1-1 call or maybe two, I think, is in all of our hearts since she's so awesome. Our queen <33. We stan. Lol, not literally. But yeah, we love her :')) <33. Anyways, back to the two of them, Owen and Judd!! I just love them so much. Their friendship is great :')). Love my little funky boys :ppp!!!

Anyway! Lastly before the final overview lol: where was Carlos. I deserved my boy XDD. C'mon, even just for a second - like, we saw his partner XD. I mean come o n guys, lol. And by partner I mean police partner, by the way - I will almost definitely always call TK his boyfriend lol. I mean, besides partner, except maybe on specific, rare occasions lol. No matter how cute, and fun it is skfhsgdklfs xDD. Also, you know what? Maybe he's just off like Nancy today, lol. Off-work, I mean xD. Good for them lol. Maybe xD. Anyway, lol, still XDD.

Overall, I thought this was a really good episode! You know what, scratch that, really GREAT. I just loved it all around, the calls were fun, and no one died :). I mean, there was the aftermath of last week's episode/the week before that's episode lol, but still. I'm really worried for Paul, and for his and Marjan's friendship, not to mention her reaction and how she's doing with all of this, but I think we'll all be okay. That they'll be okay. Hopefully :'pp :)). Now THAT tear is most likely a 'help me' tear lol. Anyway!! Loved Owen, surprisingly, and his storyline - more his storyline to be honest, lol, but I can at least kinda respect his arc, I guess, lol xDD -, loved the bird itself, loved Marjan and her AMAZING fashion sense, especially this episode, and all on ~display~ and everything, with multiple days out of 'the office' lol - out of work xdd it's honestly a good thing I put quotation marks on it lol, kind of on the quotation marks part, since that's not technically what they are XDD -, and I loved TK and seeing his grief, plus him telling that story and the loss and grief group, and his and Tommy's relationship in general this episode 🥰🥰🥰. Besides all that, the calls were amazing - funny, kind of, sweet, intriguing, medically especially, and smart. Just generally a good time :)). And, lastly, though I missed my boy Carlos, Mateo was adorable. Those two things are largely unrelated, but I suppose it's because the good/love factor lol. And of them both being my children - aaaas I believe pretty much everyone on this show is xDD. And for the preview - hm, not my first choice of storylines, but I'm interested! And I'm sure I'll have, and like, the side/other plots too :). I'm just intrigued, right now, mostly!! We'll see what happens, how amazing it is, though I have no doubt that it'll be good :)). If not great, or awesome! Any of those things, lol. Well, like I said, basically xD, we'll have to see!!

So yeah! Loved the episode, it was amazing :)). I'm worried for Paul and all - rhyme! :)) -, but I think we've got this :'p. Wiping off the emotional, not literal, tears, and getting ready for next week :DD <33.

This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 3, Episode 9: The Bird

I loved the episode. I thought it was great :)). And I'm very excited for the next one :DD!!

See you next week for. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 3, Episode 10: Parental Guidence

See you all then!!!!

[funkin-news]

ninjamuffin ama summary - 9/28/2021

you know the drill, purple text is me paraphrasing, everything else is direct (or almost direct) quote, FNF-related stuff only

Q: What is one common misconception about FNF or its development that you wanna clear up?

A: im not the sole creator, im not some sole director. Each of the boys have very important roles with the game. This isn't just 1 dude having tunnel vision about a game, its generally all us coming to similar conclusions on where we want to take the game and what we wanna do wit it

Q: why

A: because I love video games and I love newgrounds

Q: Do you or the team plan to go back and make the older weeks higher quality?

A: that will definitely happen. both for general polish, and things leading up into future weeks / story or whatever

Q: Why did everyone think Week 8 was gonna come out on the 22nd?

A: accidental "teases" (Dave's MC-related doodle), madness day, general anxiousness bc the devs haven't been sharing much

Q: What kind of QOL changes are being added in the future?

A: charting editor improvements is one

Q: What is the most insane, most likely impossible to happen person you would like to collaborate with, could be Funkin related, could be just a personal project

A: the girl reading this

Q: Is Cassette Girl week 8?

A: no

Q: Is there concept art for the characters, or did they look the same during development?

A: GF looks exactly the same as the first ever drawing PhantomArcade did. There's a few small lil variations for a good chunk the other MAIN characters, one day u will see all them

R: can you explain the old bf icon? or is it just a dumb placeholder?

A: just a cool ass lil icon evilsk8r did during the game jam weekend

Q: Are you letting yourself getting inspired by more different genres of music for future weeks?

A: i think that more a Q for kawaisprite, but that man loves music, and can and does get inspired by anything he listens to in regards to music

Q: Why has the team been so silent about update progress?

A: They do better working in silence than hyping things up; when Week 6 was teased working on it became really stressful for them. Also, element of surprise

R: but youve been silent abt week7 on desktop for months, half a year. & week 8 is like….. nonexistant

A: week 8 isnt nonexistant, we just absolutely do not want to talk about it whatsoever. i said all the week 7 stuff will come with week 8 update

Q: what do you genuinely think about the people thinking you guys scammed people out of $2 million? just curious is all, i’ve seen lots of people talking about it rn

A: i think people are a bit wary about kickstarter, and makes sense when people's coin is on the line. if u want a breakdown of what we used KS coin so far, we spent maybe 2K of it on some development stuff we needed, most other expenses been paid from our savings / donations, etc.

Q: When does the OST come to the backers?

A: Kickstarter vinyl OSTs still need to be manufactured, which would take at least 6 months because of a global PVC shortage, completely out of our control. what is in our control is that we also still need to finish up and finalize artwork for it, the boys wanna make it all perfect. Same goes for CDs, but those should be done way sooner

Q: You got a date range of when Tshirt / Poster / or Pin surveys will be out by any chance? 👀

A: kickstarter tshirts / poster / pin stuff have been coming along nicely and hopefully those surveys should be coming soon, prob next few weeks

Q: Do you guys think you'll experiment with other artstyles in future weeks?

A: yes, cuz we've already done that (week 6) theres a lot more where that came from

Q: if you could isolate one part of the game and say it’s your favorite what would it be

A: the fact that FNF is our pure creative vision, with absolutely nothing getting in the way of that. Open source free Newgrounds rhythm game with crazy zany kawaisprite music, and stylish and charismatic animation and art style. and game been successful because of all of that.

Q: what do you think about people compiling the full ass game and playing it without paying anything

A: that makes me happy

Q: what do you think of all the mods and stuff people has made about your game

A: mods make me happy

Q: any inspiration from doki doki literature club for the weird stuff in week 6?

A: no, but some of the cool lil programming things DDLC did do interest me

Q: How do we know you're working on the game

A: you don't, and really it doesnt matter all too much. we being productive and things are moving forward, and people not believing that doesnt change that

And now, a speech:

i think trying to focus on keeping hype and keeping game popular can very easily be hollow. We have no worry about trying to keep hype or relevancy or anything like that. If FNF popularity shrunk to 0.1% of it's size, we'd be content, cuz that's still like 1000% more than before

"before" referring to anything we did before FNF.

you can lose success just as easily as you got it, and for FNF, it got successful INCREDIBLEY fast. With that in mind, it's just the nature of things if it all loses relevancy.

So far FNF doing good through the year, but if it wasn't, it's no real sweat off our back.

Although it's uhhh easy to look at it that way from our perspective. Get back to me and see if my thoughts on this has changed if FNF is forgotten from all memory.

Q: will there be a sequel to the full ass game? Like 'the full a2s game' or something clever like fast & furious movies do

A: friday night funkin: tokyo drift

[itsclydebitches]

ngl voyager gets a whole lot of very disproportional hate from the fandom and i'd hazard a guess that a lot of that is just garden-variety misogyny (and probably racism mixed in, considering how many of the most prominent characters are women, poc, or both). like, is voyager perfect? absolutely not. and no spoilers but there was a lot of executive meddling that wound up leading to the finale/conclusion being lacking and there's a lot of reasonable dissatisfaction with that--but again that was largely thanks to the execs fucking the show over and i recommend looking into that if you can once you've finished the show. but overall? voyager is trek right to its very core--it has heart, it's about family, and it never loses sight of that imo, even if some episodes are weaker or just duds (but, like, would it be a trek series without some episodes that just kinda suck but are still fun to watch???)

anyway, i absolutely love that you're getting into voyager, it is my all-time favorite trek series to this day for a lot of reasons, and i hope that ppl like that anon dont put you off bc i'd love to continue to see your thoughts as you watch the series!

Oh, it would take a whole lot more than some anons being salty that others enjoy things to turn me off :D 

Thus far (I lost internet last night so I’m still only on Episode 7 of Season 2), Voyager is the Trekiest Trek I’ve watched. Which is a weird sentence, but I mean it in the way you said it’s “trek right to its very core.” What is Star Trek, if we strip the intent of the story down to its basics? It’s about exploration, discovery, that “wagon train to the stars,” wrapped up in the argument that life is fundamentally good. We have problems, but we can work past them. We have differences, but they strengthen us. Diversity is the lifeblood of the universe and the future will continue to improve so long as we embrace that. 

Voyager is (again, from what I’ve seen so far!) basically a love song to that premise. I didn’t do too deep a dive because I’m trying to avoid spoilers, but I did look at a couple threads discussing why Voyager is so hated. Again and again I saw the same reason pop up: wasted potential. Now, a lot of fans left it at that (as if the answer to what potential Voyager apparently missed out on is self-evident. It’s not), but those who did expand on the idea consistently claimed that the show needed to be darker than it was, even if they rarely said it like that. Why aren’t the Federation and the Marquis at each other’s throats? Why isn’t the crew going crazy under these circumstances? Why aren’t characters getting killed off left and right in hostile space? “Anything could have happened out there and they played it safe!” but the “anything” here is always... awful. There’s this very pervasive idea that the world is inherently cruel, people are inherently divisive, that when pushed to the brink everything will fall apart... and that (while making for one kind of great story) is very much not Star Trek. 

See, Voyager created an unimaginable scenario--lost in space, 75 years from home, forced to live indefinitely with strangers--and their answer to the question of “What happens?” is “People make it work.” They learn to respect one another, they uphold their ideals, they maintain a love of life and discovery, and they create a family. And that’s fucking fantastic. That’s Star Trek! I’m not going to pretend there aren’t problems with the show, with plenty more to come, I’m sure, but I don’t think this is one of them. Why do so many viewers think that hatred, horror, death, and growing jaded is the only potential here? Why would they expect that in a Star Trek show whose premise is the very antithesis of those things? 

“But they don’t do enough with those things, even if they have happy outcomes.” They do plenty, they just do it in an episodic rather than serialized nature. I can point to multiple episodes where the replicator rations or Maquis differences are driving the characters’ actions. “But without that horror there’s no conflict.” There’s plenty of conflict. Hostile aliens aside, I just watched an episode where Tuvok and Chakotay are pissed as hell at one another because they fundamentally disagree over how to handle problems, but--because they’re adults with a well-tested respect for one another--they apologize and work through it. “But the characters don’t develop at all.” You mean they don’t grow harder. That’s not the same thing as no development. Tuvok is figuring out how to be more flexible, Chakotay is becoming more willing to accept cultures he doesn’t agree with, Harry is growing more confident now that he’s far from home, the Doctor is learning to see himself as a person, Paris is grabbing his second chance with both hands by making strong ties, and Janeway is learning to command and care for her crew simultaneously. I honestly believe that a lot of people think of “character development” as the character becoming a fundamentally different person, unrecognizable from where they started out. But  characters can also grow into the people they wanted to be in the first place. “We’re far from home, in hostile territory, tempted to do horrific things to survive... but no. Right now at least, we’re holding onto who we are. We’re scientists, so we’re going to explore and learn. We’re peaceful, so we’re going to make friends with as many species as we can. We’re members of a society that teaches acceptance, so we’re going to form a family on this spaceship.” That’s incredible!! Did fans miss why Seska was an antagonist in the episode she was unmasked? Because she was trying to convince them to give up everything they believe in in the name of survival, an ends justify the means argument. And the crew said no, we will not give up what we believe in just to make it through. I legit saw a ton of fans saying some version of, “I can’t believe they were that far from home and actually followed Starfleet’s rulebook.” It’s because those rules don’t exist for the hell of it. Overlooking their practical function, they’re a philosophy that the characters believe in, and they’re figuring out how important that part of their identity is to them under these circumstances. Am I willing to steal a specie’s technology if it gets us home? Am I willing to die to help another uphold their own philosophy? (Chakotay in “Imitations”). What regulations should we bend or change to accommodate our new situation? The first two things Janeway does are a) giving the guy who just came out of a penal colony a rank and b) deciding that she needs to be more familiar with her crew than is normally encouraged for a captain because she’s essentially their mom now. Developing doesn’t have to mean characters do a 180 on their initial personality, or characters getting killed off when stuff gets “boring” so that others can do edgy things in response. 

Voyager upholds Trek’s premise and runs it to its logical conclusion: 

Voyager has the most literal trek--a trek back home. 

Voyager has the most diverse crew--a woman Captain, Native American First officer, black Vulcan, Asian-American communications officer, and a White Dude pilot that realizes he wants to be soft and kind towards those who took a chance on him because Toxic Masculinity who? 

Voyager has the most literal family--not just a 5+ year mission, but a crew who expects to raise the next generation. They have no choice but to work together, so they indeed come together rather than pulling apart

Except they do, of course, have a choice. In “The 37′s” the crew is allowed to stay on the Earth-like planet with a city of other humans and Janeway is convinced that a sizable number will choose that. After all, they may never get home and this is a safer, kinder future for them. In fact, the real question is whether so many will stay that they can no longer run the ship... but Janeway would never dictate her crew’s choices in that manner. So she swallows her worry down, opens the door... 

... and finds that not a single person decided to stay behind. And the show has ensured we understand that this is not just because they all have some unshakable belief that they’ll get home (many don’t), but because this is their family now. This is home. 

And fans want to toss that out for a generic, gritty, sci-fi adventure where hope is scarce, the universe is cruel, and people need to be pushed to the limit just to admit that they maybe, sort of, like each other?? Obviously like what you like, but that’s a hard pass for me. I’ll take the bridge crew comforting each other in “Twisted,” thanks. Besides, we already have shows like that. And we already have DS9 which grapples with many of those dark, pessimistic themes. Voyager feels like a breath of fresh air, even within the breath of fresh air that is Star Trek as a franchise. It’s a show that says, “Yes, when everything goes wrong people will come together. They will love each other. They will make it through.” 

What’s more Star Trek than that? 

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

Off-topic, but guys...

I assume you know Harry Potter. Bc I feel like everyone at least knows the name Harry Potter XD

Recently I've gotten into Harry Potter because of a friend. (currently watching the fourth movie)

I've taken TONS of tests online to figure out what house I'm in.

But before we get into that-

One friend said I'm a Hufflepuff

My other two friends said I'm a Gryffindor

Back to the tests-

I haven't counted but I would say most answers were Gryffindor. Then Hufflepuff and Slytherin and Ravenclaw are somewhat on the same level ig.

My mbti type (INFP) says I'm a Hufflepuff.

I've taken a test that tells you the persentages of the houses.

One time it was Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Slytherin and Ravenclaw.

Half an hour ago it was Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Slytherin lol

I now took the "Wizarding World" Test or whatever it's called and it says I'm a Slytherin XD

I feel like I don't really fit in any house. My friend said she's a clear Slytherin and I kind of envy her (mostly) clear answers.

I'm really shy and I worry a lot. (Diagnosed with depression and social anxiety 🙂)

I prefer to work on my own, frequently get lost in my own world and if something really interests me I love learning more about it and doing a deep dive. Sounds kind of like Ravenclaw from what I've read, but I don't really think I'm smart enough and I don't really like to compete most of the time, but I definitely can be competitive in my opinion. If we play a game for example I usually would play to win. I love winning lol.

I'm also very loyal, compassionate and patient (most of the time). I would also say I have a strong sense of justice, but I'm very unsure about that. So also kind of Hufflepuff. I don't think I'm really hard working or optimistic tho. More on the realistic/pessimistic side.

Next-

Gryffindor. The one I've been getting the MOST, which is along with Ravenclaw really surprising to me.

Because I'm scared easily. I'm really careful and I tend to overthink. I think if I was ever brave it was more on the smaller achievement side lol. Like everyday to day stuff that other people do without thinking much about it. I've had some moments when I was semi standing up for my friends to our bullies, but I don't really think it was anything noteworthy. I can be hot-headed, but it really depends. I like to think that I would die for the people that I love, if it ever came down to it. But overall I think I'm more of a coward.

Slytherin was kind of surprising to me as well. Some people have told me that I seem to be really resourceful/ good at self-preservation (?). How people view me is important to me and deep inside I want to achieve some kind of greatness and leave my mark on the world. But I don't know if I'm smart enough or cunning or whatever.

Besides all of that I fear failure, therefore strive for perfection. I love analyzing stuff (besides texts in school lol) and I like to be my own person and walk my own path, which I'm also really afraid of. I constantly ask others for opinions and I always need both parts of the story, before I feel good about my opinion in most cases. I prefer to be realistic. I have very few people I'm close to and I prefer to have my own circle of friends. I can be very driven as well, if I set my mind on something.

2020 I had trouble in school because of the pandemic and my future was kind of on the line and I had to work with whatever I had. I took on extra work and did it to the best of my abilities. In the end I somehow made it. Back then I was really proud, but now I feel really weird about it. It doesn't feel that great anymore, but I know I gave what I was capable of in a way.

My friend asked me what I mostly identify with and I've read it comes down to what you identify with most. But I identify with all, but none of them at the same time. I'm my own house apparently XD Something inside me says I'm probably a Hufflepuff, but I don't feel satisfied with calling myself a Hufflepuff. Especially with my recent test saying I'm a Slytherin.

Which leads me to the conclusion I shouldn't go to Hogwarts and should go a different school 😂

Thank you everyone for coming to my totally random and unnecessary rant.

It was an interesting rant, anon! You overcame a lot of challenges. I'm sending you lots of hugs for any future challenges.

The last time I did those kinds of tests, I ended up with Gryffindor, which doesn't really fit me at all. I'm more of a Hufflepuff, honestly 😂 and hey, you can be chaotic in Hogwarts! Still, if you did go to another school, it's still magical so it's still a win, no? - Mod Jessa

[mayz1er]

talkin abt ily the fic but it’s mostly me worrying so it’s not that great ^_^

guys :( the next cjapter is making me sad :( so much so i had to pause like five times while editing. also i accidentally make it 17k words long instead of 12k i hope u don’t mind :( fuck it’s gonna be a pain in the ass to edit esp since i don’t think ill have any1 to beta read it but it’s ok

i’m also on mobile haha tap tap on my little phone screen. i think i made my writing to incomprehensible. it feels so dense to me and i’m not sure how to fix it. good writing is understandable and i feel like mine is not. that. right now. maybe it’s just cuz it’s so many words idk i got a headache half way thru editing only the last section of the chap.

i accidentally started projecting on present life flashback ranboo migjtve accidentally given him mommy issues?? soz?? but he’s so fucked it i feel so bad this poor kid

i feel like with how stupidly flowery my writing style can be, it’s like i’m romantacizing things i shouldn’t be. i had this problem w blood red presidential ties too, because sure dark topics hidden in metaphors are cool but r they still cool if it looks like it’s supposed to be pretty?? i don’t wanna glamorize things that shudnt be glamorized especially with important topics that effect not only me but the readers that deal w the same issues. i don’t wanna paint a pretty picture of an ugly topic, ykno?

ilybeeduo :( tragic. star crossed lovers or whatever the fuck it’s called. i miss them alrdy. i’ll tell you something, i’m seeing this story as a loop. i outlined this fic in a circle rather than a straight line that ends. do i wanna break the cycle? maybe i do. maybe i will! but u won’t like that ending either tbh. not as in “it’s a bad ending” no it wud just also probably be a little sad. let me tell u a little more. ranboo is a lamb to the slaughter. ranboo is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. PRWTEND LAMB AND SHEEP R THE SAME THING 4 THE SAKE OF THIS METAPHOR. also another worry i have is that i’m conveying ilybeeduo as toxic like i mean yeah a little bit like. FUCK AISIEKOK ok i’m calm. they love each other. they don’t purposely hurt each other. ok ok ok.

i’m actually sick n twisted for this chapter i feel so bad oh god but i’m gonna post it bc i need this out in the world. or at least to the readers LMAO. i wanna say that there’s a distinct lesson to learn by the end of reading it, like how presidential ties was me trying to convey a message of healing and hope. but that doesn’t exist in ily the fic. i’m sorry 2 say that i don’t think i’ll write a healing and hopeful ending. it just doesn’t work out, at least in the time frame i have. maybe there’ll be a sequel. who knows.

i mean it when i think this is a make or break chapter and it’s less so the story and more of my progress in writing. this is either the best or worst thing i’ve ever written. this story is either beautifully inctricate or a stupid piece of shit. ew ok i don’t even hate this fic or my writing that much rn but like that’s what i’m thinking. i feel like i rlly did push myself out of my comfort zone while writing especially this chapter and these characters and the amount of thinking i had 2 do to interlace the backstories and part present future but like. idk. what if it flops???? what if i haven’t improved as much as i wanted to??? eh. idk! i’m just saying things

also i love ily!alliumduo so much i love them so much i totally wasn’t projecting my old friendships on them naurrr id never do thy 🤨🤨🤨🤨

lmao i feel like i’m saying everything n nothing at the same time cuz i have 2 be vague in order to not spoil it. but dont worry i’m alright w my stance on ily the fic it’s just. i want this chapter to be good.

[sneezefiction]

quarantine with Bokuto

Bokuto x reader in Quarantine - Headcanon

a/n: b/c i loved writing this ask so much, i just had to write some fluff w/ Bokuto too. i’ve been really lonely in quarantine (and i enjoy being alone a lot of the time), but it’s been rough. Bo is a babe and promotes mental health like nobody else lol. hope u enjoy!

warnings: slight cursing

wc: 790

---

when Bokuto finally realized what quarantine meant for his social life, the boy had a full send breakdown

Bo, being your boyfriend, calls you at least 10 times before you realize your phone is even ringing

you can hear his emotional turmoil in his voice, which you’re used to, but this was a bit different

he actually sounds a bit scared?

as though being away from his team, Akaashi, and you is the worst thing that could ever happen to him

your heart breaks a little at the thought of his loneliness, so the next thing you know you’re inviting him to stay over at your place

however, knowing Bokuto and his erratic, constantly morphing behavior, you mentally prepare yourself for some major lifestyle adjustments

it’s late at night when he finally knocks on your front door

you crack it open to see bright eyes, spiky hair, and SO MANY PILLOWS AND BLANKETS

like your man is just covered in plush, cozy items bc he wouldn’t feel at home without them, the cuteness honestly makes you want to cry

he’ll jump into your arms right when he makes eye contact w/ you, sending the cuddly objects to the floor

you’re used to this, but you let him snuggle his head into your neck and pull you in tightly, since it’s already been a week without seeing his clingy ass

after he gets those first few hugs out of his system, he gets to unpacking his clothes and pieces he felt he couldn’t be without

this boy brought all of his workout clothing and two volleyballs… so this wasn’t going to be a very calm quarantine period after all

but you and Bo are super close, sharing similar humor and enjoying each other’s take on life

several nights out of every week, you’ll spend chatting for hours on your couch in a dark living room, netflix being your only light source

you’ll swap stories (something Bokuto is great at), go over what you wish would change in life and who you want to be in the future, and what you love about each other (his favorite part bc he loves hearing that you’re still in love w/ him)

if you’re insecure or fearful of something, Bokuto’s unique ability to uplift literally anyone will be activated

he’ll remind you that you’re capable of getting that job or confronting that hurtful friend (he tells you he’ll go with you for intimidation factor, but you quickly dismiss that idea)

if it’s beauty or body you’re worried about, Bo will have already been smothering you in hugs and kisses, but he’ll add in his most genuine feelings for you and how lovely you always look

you find that just living with him is validating

it’s probably because he understands how important it is to be encouraged and to meet other’s where they’re at. he’s been lucky to have such understanding friends when it comes to his moods and emo moments, so he’s ready to help you tackle your moods now too

but ooph will you deal with the intense emotions of this boy around the clock, you poor soul

one moment, he’s totally fine and laughing at tiktoks on his phone

the next, he’s waking you up to ask you if you still want him around or if he should go home

LEGIT this guy will have his clothes in a bag, ready to go, while asking you this bc he is JUMPING to conclusions in his lil owl brain

a soft, bearhug usually clears his mind while little, encouraging whispers help him to calm down and sink into your touch instead of abyss of his own insecurities

when y’all aren’t fighting bad vibes, you’re usually battling restlessness

Bokuto’s energy puts you on edge too, it’s literally contagious

you’ll be making dinner and humming a tune and suddenly Bokuto is BLASTING Drake or Bruno Mars and dancing just so he can feel alive and real again

he wILL drag you in to dance with him, which is both fun and wildly exhausting

dinner is cold now, oops

Bokuto is the ideal roommate, especially the older he gets

he’ll be breathing joy into every aspect of your life, the slow moments and the most hectic of online workdays (even if you do have to shut him up for being way too loud when you’re doing zoom calls)

and tHANK YOU for letting this sweet kid room with you, he probably would be drowning in silence at his place, so you really would contribute to his mental health majorly

and you would reap the benefits of his loveliness, laughter, and good looks

quarantining with Bo is just an eyeopening experience and it’s what leads you to eventually move in together after the quarantine is lifted

but yeah, it’s precious and you learn so much about yourself and your relationship. all around healthy and fluffy stuff <33

[wolfcha1k]

An analysis on Guy, Eep and Grug NOBODY asked for in Croods - A New Age but tough shit

help

So its theory time :U Since this trailer seems to finally go into Guy’s perspective over things happening in the story. It seems like though Guy has been accepted into the Croods family, its not peaches and cream as one would think. Guy is used to having personal space, basically being able to have peace and quiet. Now after a lifetime of solitude [srsly, how long has he been alone??], this is a big adjustment for him. I don’t doubt he doesn’t care and love the Croods like family because they are his family now, he gave up a lot for them and Eep. There’s something of a culture difference between the family and him, with the Croods being used to being jam packed together and Guy who is more used to personal space.

Look how excited he gets over having his own space once they get to the Betterman Farm!

This also translates into his relationship with Eep. If you notice in a lot of the teasers so far, they’re never alone together. Grug is usually looming in the background or the family is there, they’re even using Chunky of all things to try getting away from them.

[also judging by the weave work here on the wood she’s probably in one of the spare rooms at the farm and the fact the clip launched with ‘World’s First Crush’, it might be safe to say even Eep starts to enjoy having privacy since this means you know, more Guy time but I’ll get more into Eep and what I think their ‘conflict’ will be later!] 

but ofc Grug is still there getting in their way, and if you’re a teenage boy in love with a girl, it bites hard that you can’t just enjoy one on one time alone with her. They keep getting interrupted whether it be by animals, the family, Grug or nature itself; that would cause tension for anyone’s relationship. Guy even needs to explain to Eep what privacy is and knowing how she lived, ofc this is a real weird and exciting concept for someone so used to having other people breathing down her neck.  

This translates into his relationship with Grug because I personally feel this has nothing to do with Eep herself and Guy doesn’t hold that against her. Grug is mentioned in interviews that he’s “not ready to accept Eep is all grown up and has her relationship with Guy” and that “she’s ready to leave the pack”, as Grug calls it. 

They survived the end of the world, but dynamics change, and I love continuing with where do Eep (Emma Stone’s character) and Guy (Ryan Reynolds) leave off (with their romantic relationship) and how does Grug (Nicolas Cage) accept the change that his daughter is now grown up? So we definitely further those themes of a father not wanting his daughter to leave “the pack” – as they call it – but she’s ready, and her relationship with Guy starts off where it ended in the first film.

Guy even causes what seems will be quite a fight when he tells Grug to chill out after Grug mentions “the pack is stronger together”. 

Grug probably wouldn’t be having this kind of fear if there was nothing to fear. It might be safe to say Guy and Eep are planning to leave the nest to be on their own. They’re both young adults and in love, its a natural step in a relationship to want to fly the coop. This snippet here really gives me those “engagement/promise ring” vibes with how Guy is holding the rock drawing and Eep is reacting. 

Just what did he say before this? They’re also huddling away and discussing privacy, perhaps it was the lead up into “Hey Eep, let’s move out”, or whatever the caveman version of it is.

and Grug is watching them very worriedly. 

There is something up going on with them now, and though Grug has accepted Guy and Eep, this isn’t a step he’s ready for as a father [and honestly probably after surviving The End/repaired his relationship with Eep, didn’t think would be coming this soon]

This segment in the interview really heavily implies these sort of things too:

The world is always changing, and families also change. As a father, Grug’s maybe not ready for the next step of his daughter leaving home. And with Eep and Guy I thought, “This is a great opportunity to now hand it off to them.” In the first movie it’s like puppy love between Eep and Guy. They meet each other, and they’re in love. But they’re the only two teenagers in the world, so of course they love each other. This story answers the question of why they actually belong to each other. Through the course of this story, we challenge what their relationship means, and why they should spend their future together.

You don’t talk about challenging what a relationship means and what their future will be without planning something surrounding that. They are planning and its freaking Grug out.

I also think in Grug’s own way he doesn’t want to see Guy go either, since it must say a lot about how different the dynamic of Guy and Grug’s relationship as a son and father figue have shifted if Guy feels he can tell Grug to calm down and also flirt/court Eep with protective daddy vision on him all hours of the day. When the Betterman’s show up, I am convinced Grug is going to get defensive over Guy bc he’s now as good as his son.

There’s also these little moments which seem pretty small but:

[as sour as Guy looks here, it probably means a lot for Grug to actually let Guy be in their sleep pile]

[also look how pure and excited Guy is to share about the shower with Eep and Grug]

I feel Grug does care for Guy but being how Grug is has unintentionally made Guy feel like an outsider in the Croods clan.

Now, back to the Bettermans and Guy. The lifestyle they live is clean, modernized and has routine, things Guy is probably craving with an inventive mind such as his. He’s just in heaven rn. These people are more like him than the Croods are, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. The Croods are still important to him but it probably feels invigorating to meet likeminded people.

You can already tell in the trailers Guy is going to form a bond with them. Part of me doubts they’re actually related to Guy like as parents and a sister but I won’t rule out the possibility, considering how invested Phil seems to be with Guy in a lot of the teasers and trailers. Perhaps they’re extended family or old family friends who knew Guy’s, we won’t know yet.

This bond I feel will be the prime focus of the film and conflict as well. [and no, not in the love triangle way concerning Dawn, there’s already an interview disproving that!]

“It seems from the trailer that Kelly Marie Tran’s Dawn and Emma Stone’s Eep hit it off immediately…” There’s definitely a lane that is driven a lot in romantic comedy type things where the new girl is the cause of jealousy. With Eep and Guy, when this other girl comes into the picture it would have been easy to go, “Oh, she could be the romantic rival.” We made the purposeful decision to not go down that lane.

However I do think his friendship with Dawn will be something as a compare/contrast with how Eep treats her. Both are doing what they feel is better and right for the sheltered girl, with Eep wanting to take Dawn outside the wall and Guy getting upset when he finds out Eep took her out.

He’s obviously going to catch them and lecture Eep about this. Now, how does Eep feel about Guy’s shift?

At first, I really think she supports him on connecting with the Bettermans and all the stuff he wants to do. Guy is quirky, he’s inventive, and likes to push the mold in what he can change to make life easier on himself and the people he loves. This place is his Utopia and considering the exchange she has with Grug over “a little change isn’t the end of the world”, she probably is willing to give the farm a chance because she knows Guy has been feeling lost and probably the butt of the joke lately [least where Grug is involved]

We also know Eep loves to try new things, she just in general loves new. Its what attracted her to Guy and even after it all, still loves Guy. 

However, this is what I believe is going to be the start of the conflict between Eep and Guy too. Guy starts to change too much and Guy being Guy probably doesn’t realize it. She starts seeing the farm as another cave, another place to hide and seeing Guy thriving here probably makes her feel worried about what this means for them as a couple. That wall like Eep said is Dawn’s cave, and Guy probably doesn’t think of it that way after a lifetime of danger and being on the run from The End. Also the private bedroom probably helps

Anyway, what was I saying?

also something I noticed was when they first arraive in the elevator you got Guy looking at Eep to see her reaction to this place. He’s obviously hoping she’s finding the Bettermans has amazing as he is.

and just look how happy he looks seeing Eep isn’t going to freak out at Dawn I guess??? lol 

Just “these two worlds are melding nicely”

However something I think is going to happen as the premises of the movie is both families settling their différences aside/celebrating them, is that somewhere along the line as Eep and Guy get closer to Dawn, there’s going to be a shift. The Bettermans perhaps act uppity with the Croods since they are cavemen and deemed less intelligent, so you got Guy stuck in the middle with his two found families trying to co-exist [also Eep too, bc her friendship with Dawn is obviously a major plot thread of the film]

Eep takes Dawn out for a joyride and the two bring in danger that followed them there.

“What’s on the other side of the wall?”

also totally predicting some kind of reveal that makes Guy have a temporary fall out with Phil, I don’t know why but its just a vibe I’m getting. Phil looks scared and Guy looks pretty pissed off while asking about the wall. That or he says something about the Croods themselves he feels is too far, I mean, Guy looks rather uncomfortable here as Phil says “We’re an evolved people” pretty smugly. 

“Phil those are my future in-laws, stop”

He’s also seated on their side of the table, keep note of that with the Croods on the other. There’s going to be a sense torn between both worlds going on for Guy in this film, at least I think so. And its going to challenge him and how he cares for Eep and the Croods. 

Leading into Eep and the Croods.

The big bad shows up, wrecks some shit and abducts everyone, at least it seems like it here.

“The only way to survive is if the pack stays together”, this whole adventure reminds Guy of his place in the Croods family and gives Eep and Grug a better understanding of what Guy is feeling/going through.

People loved The Croods, and they’d been trying to make another one… but it’s a high bar. I can say this because I didn’t work on [the first film], it’s a beautiful movie. It’s funny, and it’s about family. I was like, “I want to see the continuation of where we left off with these characters.” Especially with the father/daughter aspect of the first one, and going, “Now that Grug has accepted Guy into his pack, and has this great relationship with his daughter, where do they go from there?”

Something tells me Guy and Eep have their big blow up somewhere around Rafikzilla shows up, and after getting separated, Guy has a heart to heart with Grug about Eep and just their strained relationship in general. They patch things up, and together with Phil go forth to kick some monkey ass. And they reunite and things are okay again. Blah, blah, blah. Wow this got weak near the end, um but this interview sums it up pretty good for me tho.

“Was it always the idea to introduce a second family?” Yeah, that was there in my first pitch. You have the Croods come across another family, the Bettermans, who are a more evolved family, and these two families couldn’t be more different. The Croods lead with their heart, and the Bettermans lead with their brain. Of course, there’s conflict, they face challenges, but they learn to appreciate each other’s differences – not just to live with each other’s differences but to almost celebrate them. There’s a lot going on. There’s a lot of characters in this one. There’s a lot of wonderful, powerful themes. But it’s a ridiculous comedy too.

Basically, Guy is having a midlife crisis at the age of 19 and gets his shit together, Eep gets a better understanding of her boyfriend, and Grug finally backs tf off so we can get Croods 3 where Eep and Guy have a kid :U also I’ve been calling A New Age the “Shrek 2″ of the Croods in terms of how the story seems to be shaping up with Guy, Eep and the two families, I’m hoping I’m right because that would be some delicious development to see.

[gra-sonas]

Am I crazy in being scared that with so many new characters, many of the characters that we love will not get the focus that they should? They already have a big cast and so many of their stories are not told (for example, Alex's past in the military)...I fear that there will be many storylines and all of them will not be well developed (like s2)...I really hope I'm wrong...

Not crazy, nonnie, no. 

Let’s break down what we know (hahahahahahahaha 😒) about S3 so far:

There were some S3 interviews with CAM after the S2 finale, but since she’s no longer part of the show, and she herself said that the S3 outline changed “a lot” after her departure, anything she said in those interviews (and that wasn’t all that much to begin with), could no longer be valid information. 

Time jump? Will probably happen, but we don’t know for sure. 

Forlex? Could happen (for how long/to which extent, who the fuck knows), or maybe not??

Echo? Will definitelylikely get back together (probably in 3x02 or so, can’t keep the straights apart for too long...), we just don’t know when. 

Happier times for Malex? HAHAHA, as if Could happen. OR NOT. Who knows. NOT US!

WE ARE JON SNOW! ¯\_(°~°)_/¯

The few things we (kinda) know about S3 so far:

It’s likely the season will start with Liz (still) in LA (where she’ll meet one of the new guys, Heath), but it’s fairly certain she’ll return to Roswell early in S3

It’s likely the Pod Squad will have to deal with Mr. Jones. 

we know a few things about 4 new guest characters - 3 of them white, and at least Jordan Bernhardt (mayor’s son) and the new Sheriff, Brooke Taylor (WHAT ABOUT MICHELLE VALENTI?????) seem kinda shady. Edgar/Eduardo sounds like he could be a link to Deep Sky or maybe the Alighting?

going by Dylan’s extended stay in Santa Fe, it seems like Wyatt Long could have a larger arc this season

we know that Christian(Forrest) filmed at least one episode (could be more but we don’t know for certain)

Tanner(Gregory) is currently/was recently in Santa Fe to film a second episode. 

It doesn’t look like Justina (Steph)’s been in Santa Fe yet, since they’re already filming 3x04 or 3x05 (we don’t even know that for sure), it’s possible she won’t return for S3 at all.

We don’t know whether Riley(Jenna)'s been in Santa Fe yet (production of Hightown S2 recently started, maybe she’s already been in Santa Fe and filmed some scenes, but we have no confirmation about that, it’s just as likely that she hasn’t been there yet)

Jamie Clayton(Charlie)’s currently filming something else. 

Kiowa(Flint)’s also not been confirmed to have filmed any S3 scenes yet (doesn’t mean he hasn’t, the entire cast is notoriously bad at keeping us in the loop about stuff like that 😩)

So that’s what we “know”. In addition:

It could be, that Tyler(Alex) won’t be in 3x01 and/or 3x02 (it’s super hard to tell bc those eps were directed by the same director, maybe they just shifted things around and cleared his schedule for an extended period so he could go home???). 

The actor who played young Max in S2 is listed for S3, that probably means Max flashbacks

They’ve released 3 episode (incl. 2 directors) titles so far + we know Dr. Rachel Raimist will direct 3x05

Other than that we have this vague af S3 synopsis that doesn’t tell us anything substantial about S3:

In season three, still reeling from the events of last year, the Roswell aliens and their allies are drawn back together through a threat from a familiar stranger and a murder that has not yet happened.

From near and from far, amidst breakups, reunions, scientific advancements and the impending death of someone they hold dear, our heroes must grapple with two central questions: Who enters our lives and defines who we are?

And what power do we really have over our own futures?

In conclusion:

We actually don’t know ANYTHING about Liz, Alex, Michael, Rosa, Isobel, Kyle, Maria or Max and their S3 arcs!

And I think that’s the main problem here. We know more about four guest characters, their motivations and what they’ll be up to in S3, than we know about the core 8. 

And that’s probably what makes so many people anxious. We have no idea how these guest characters fit into S3 because we don’t know anything about S3. 

There’s only guessing and assuming and speculating.

Oh, there’s also S2, where so much (too much) focus was put on a million different storylines and side characters, where a main plot was missing for most of the season, where core 8 characters were sidelined and/or had little to no character development, where seemingly important scenes were cut, and so on. And the way S2 ended, doesn’t exactly spark joy and excitement for S3...

It’s no surprise that we’re fucking anxious and worried S3′s gonna serve more of the same.

With new characters (that are not even new characters we’d probably be interested in meeting, like Clay and Mindy Manes, Jim Valenti (yay, flashbacks) or perhaps Maria’s dad) being announced, and no S3 info for reference, how are we supposed to be excited? How are we supposed to not worry S3 will be a repeat of S2.

I don’t think that’s going to be the case (esp. not with Chris having taken over as show runner, I still believe that with him helming the show things will be better), but I get why so many people are worried (to the point of being utterly annoyed and ready to quit the fandom). 

One way to fix at least some of this mess (and ease some of the anxiety) would be an interview with Chris Hollier, or at least an article that provides us with UPDATED information about S3, especially details about the core 8.

Because that’s what most of us want to know. What's in store for the characters we love and care about? What about the ships (Malex and Echo in particular)? WHAT ABOUT THE FRIENDSHIPS??? What about the individual characters and their specific journeys? 

As long as we don’t know more about S3 at large, and the main characters in particular, any new characters that will be announced, will cause people to worry and/or get annoyed. 

[promethes]

dumping the horrendous unconventional short story I wrote for my midterm under the cut to get it off my mind bc I do not like it.

ENTRY 1

I think I will make my life’s motif a bird. It shouldn’t be too hard. They’re everywhere and pop out at the most opportune moments. I’ll find a way to tie them in.

ENTRY 2

Stood in line for way too long at the cafe. Can you believe the girl in front of me didn’t even look up to plan her order until she was physically at the front of the line? I knew what I wanted to order before I even stepped foot into the place. They need to change that. I’m on the lookout for some kind of online suggestion box to submit to since they decided to forgo an in-house one for some God forsaken reason. There’s not a lick of common sense in anyone these days. Saw a robin on my way out and flicked it a sesame seed from my bagel.

ENTRY 3

Would you listen to this garbage? They’re planning on tearing down my favorite bowling alley. “Didn’t pass inspection” my ass. It’s an important cultural landmark of our city and I’m marching down to the mayor to set him straight. I can’t stage important life moments around the cardinal themed bowling alley if there is no bowling alley to have a cardinal theme!

ENTRY 4

Mom’s in the hospital. Driving over now, she said it has something to do with her cholesterol. It either spiked or dropped real low, but I can’t be sure. Either way, she’s in the hospital. I don’t know why she chose the one that’s so far away though. The vending machines in the other one have way better stock.

ENTRY 5

Forgot to say. I didn’t run over any birds on the way there.

ENTRY 6

I don’t think I’m spiraling yet but I’m close to it. Mom’s fine, she’s just staying overnight in case anything acts up again. I, on the other hand, am NOT. Car won’t start and I’ve been sitting here in the parking lot for almost four hours now. Embarrassed beyond belief. A weird old man with a huge shiny truck offered to help and he’s been good on his word lending me his car to jump-start mine, but his bumper stickers make me nervous. His truck has custom lettering too. I’m a big guy, so not too worried, but a little concerned. 

Anyway, it didn’t work and I’m calling a tow truck now. I tried to thank the guy and offered to buy him coffee, but he just said “No way, Jose” which was weird. He smacked the top of my car before he left and said I need to “dress this little lady up.” Maybe I’ll get a sparrow bumper sticker online. Everything’s online these days.

ENTRY 7

Starting to rethink the bird motif thing. Not much goes on in my life anyway, and there’s only so much material I can get out of waking up early to chirping. Maybe I should aim lower. I could choose a color instead. Red would be a cop-out, it’s too obvious. Blood! I need something that’s at least a little challenging. We’ll see. I’ll sleep on it.

ENTRY 8

GREAT NEWS! Sister got a BIRD. A real-life living breathing chirping flying bird. It’s a sign and I’m not going to ignore it. My life’s motif is a bird and it’s not going to be one of those unbearably hidden motifs from English class required readings either.

(Although I did like some of them. That spoon in Middlesex…… I want my bird to be his spoon. To take up space in an almost eerie way. I’ll find a way to make it work.)

ENTRY 9

Laying the groundwork. These things don’t come easy, so I’m sowing the seeds (birds do that, right?) Told everyone at work that my great great great grandfather’s name was Starling. Drilled up a lot of curious questions and I even got to know some of the people I always just miss talking to. They were all VERY interested. Tomorrow I’ll bring in a picture of an actual starling. I don’t think Andrew quite knows that it’s a kind of bird.

ENTRY 10

Don’t remember the name my sister chose and I couldn’t remember if I tried even if I squeezed my eyes shut before blinking really fast like I usually do because this bird (Polly I’m going to call it Polly because an annoying bird deserves an annoying name) is so incessantly annoyingly unbearably loud. I can’t believe this thing is my sign.

My sign is chirping me into the basement and into a frenzy. At least I have my old sleeping bag handy until I can figure out how to shut it up. Why must my motif be so unbearably annoying?

ENTRY 11

Update on the car: starter wires snapped. Haven’t seen any birds around lately (except for a crow but I hate crows and I won’t be counting them) so I was hopeful and asked the mechanic if there’s any chance a bird could’ve pecked at the wires until they got so worn down that they snapped in the hospital parking lot.

He looked at me like I was crazy. I know that was what the look meant because he said, “Are you f****ing crazy man? The wires are deep in your car under the hood.” (I’m censoring the language. I don’t want language taking away from my story. If this is to be read in a future child’s English class to teach a lesson about motifs, I can’t be including foul language.)

I’m not f***ing crazy but I am extremely ticked off. Does he not realize how little birds come out in the cold weather? I need whatever I can get.

I’ll just tell people a bird got stuck under the hood of my car. I’ll change this entry later. Mechanic man doesn’t deserve a spot in a child’s English class; he didn’t even have the decency to watch his language for them.

ENTRY 12

People at work are finally starting to catch on! Got called “bird guy” by Kathleen (Catherine? Kristy? Whatever.) when she saw my shirt. I knew it’d be a good move when I saw it on sale at Walmart. I’m thinking of making the cover of my book Hawaiian print, but I’ll tell my future publisher I’m not married to the idea. Can’t be too picky on my first book! I’ll leave that for the second.

ENTRY 13

I will enjoy my day today I will enjoy my day today I will enjoy my day. Sister needs to get control of Polly. I’ve moved down my whole mattress now. I will enjoy my day I will enjoy my day I will enjoy 

ENTRY 14

Can’t believe I overlooked eagles and hawks. Of course sparrows and starlings weren’t doing the trick! Classic oversight, focusing too much on the mundane. I won’t be making that mistake. I blame it all on that incessant chirping. Mom says it’s not too bad but I’m fairly certain that cholesterol has gotten to her ears. She must be going deaf. She’s lucky she’s ill or else I’d be very extremely sore at her for making that face at me. I know it’s a bad face because it’s the same face that f***ing mechanic made and I don’t think he’s ever made a good face in his life so if my mom made that same face then I really don’t like that. She gets a pass for the cholesterol. 

ENTRY 15

I feel amazing. Bought an eagle bumper sticker at a roadside gas station and after a few strategic snips, it’ll be ready to go on the car. I’m dressing this little lady up! The red, white, and blue has got to go first though. Decided a while ago not to let colors mess with my motif, and I’m not going to slip up on that again! Snip snip.

I’m considering this a debt paid. Dressed the little lady up. Two birds, one stone! I’m making that my new catchphrase.

ENTRY 16

Should I make this a love story? I’m thinking about making it a romance. Doves are right there, really just waiting for me to weave them in. On the other hand, I don’t think that’d work to create much of a conducive learning environment for the kids. I think I’ll stick to a Mark Twain type story instead. 

Reread the beginning and don’t think it’s working. I’ll be cutting all that out. I spoke too much about mom’s cholesterol. Too many side characters and not enough focus. Where was I going with this again? 

ENTRY 17

Writer’s block. It’s ok, I still had that major breakthrough with the hawk/eagle thought. Put in my two weeks to dedicate all my time. I’ve found a bird-watching site that I hope will bring me more peace than f***ing Polly.

ENTRY 18

These birds are really working to stay in my New York Times best-selling children’s novel. Knew this would be a challenge, but they really do never stop conversing. If only they could read, I’d write them a best-selling manual on the best ways to speak inwards rather than outwards. Chirp chirp chirp needs to turn into ______ ________ ________.

ENTRY 19

Sister’s going to be f***ing pissed but it was the only thing to do.

ENTRY 20

Honestly, it was just a bird! If it was really part of our family, you’d think that I’d know its name by now.

ENTRY 21

I said that Polly’s in a better place now, but set her off with the “Polly”. Maybe this was a mistake. She said I “begged” her to get the bird but she shouldn’t say that when she’s the one reacting like this.

ENTRY 22

Books should come with suggestion boxes. No more birds. Story’s six feet under just like Gladys. See, I can finally remember it now that I can hear myself think. 

[ambitionsource]

can we just talk about nigel... walk us through him please

i’m 2 months late to answering this, but yes. yes we can! i’ll try to give the same general portrait of him as i did in the past with like nate and stuff, hopefully it will be somewhat coherent bc i love him and he deserves to be appreciated and understood just as much as our other fave a class kiddos

so as we all know damn well at this point, nigel is an aspiring actor. he’s one of the few students in the a class who has a very core passion that he doesn’t waver from (like in the way maya, farkle, yindra, riley, etc. kind of just do lots of everything -- and eat up the opportunities in their wake LOL -- nigel is like zay in that they both have very clear areas of expertise that they dedicate most of their energy and passion to). and though he’s not as intense or vocal about it, acting is extremely important to nigel. actually, the whole process and experience of being an actor is, from the character work to the play reading and annotating to those moments of actual delivery. he’s an actor in his bones, equally as dedicated as maya or zay just significantly more outwardly laid back about it.

that being said, i feel like all you have to do to really get a sense of how deeply he cares about it is to... ask him about it. like if you get him talking about shakespeare, any of his plays, the kid who always seems so quiet and laid back will be talking a mile a minute and unpacking the nuances and brilliance of shakespeare’s works faster than you can keep up. he’s also like this -- tho not to the same degree as acting -- about classical music / jazz / a capella choirs / orchestra (since he plays the violin), local cafes + coffee, nostalgic story-driven cartoons like digimon that he watched on pbs when he was younger, and editorial cartoons. like he’s the friend that sends yindra and zay his favorite political cartoon from the new york times every sunday to their group chat (and after some time, jade gets these excerpts too). he’s also decently savvy about fashion, at least the lowkey hipster art deco pretentious chic type of fashion. i think he’s similar to asher, riley, and charlie in that he comes off a certain way and everyone assumes they know what he’s like bc he’s great a maintaining this calm persona, but those who really know him know that it’s all a charade and he’s extremely nerdy, excitable, enthusiastic, and impassioned, etc. if he’s comfortable with you, then you get the full nigel chey experience with all those quirks and eccentricities.

part of the reason nigel has the calm, unbothered persona, though, is mainly because of his family. he has a good relationship with his parents and his siblings, but he comes from a family where there’s a lot to juggle and so many things going at once that it behooves him and makes him feel better to be out of the way and not adding to anyone’s plate. as we mentioned on the income scale, nigel is one of the scholarship students at aaa, so much of his parents’ time is dedicated to making ends meet and looking out for all of the chey children. nigel has a few siblings, but the age gap for the most part isn’t that wide. he has an older sister who is one year ahead of him in school (but is not an artist, she’s studying to be a school counselor), a younger sister who is a freshman, a younger brother who is in middle school, and then the baby brother of the family who was unplanned and thus is quite a few years younger than the rest of them. so they’re a crowded, hectic little clan, and nigel feels like the best thing he can do is just stay out of the way as much as possible and be useful when he can. so he’s become very good at internalizing unpleasant emotions, letting things go, and not getting riled up (esp by provocation of younger siblings). in some ways, this has also made him a bit of a doormat, as we see in some scenes with yindra and zay where their personalities are just so much louder than his so he tends to default to them or try to keep the peace.

nigel also puts a lot of pressure on himself because of the money situation in their family as well as the unspoken expectations of his parents. both of them are supportive of him pursuing acting, and they always do their best to make it to at least one of his performances, but they’ve taken pains to make it understood that nigel is going to have to work his ass off simply because they don’t have the means or industry savvy to help give him a leg up (like half of his classmates do). like, they wholeheartedly supported his application to aaa -- especially his dad, who is a bit of a lit nerd himself and loves shakespeare / passed that on to him -- but they made it clear that if he couldn’t get a scholarship, it just wouldn’t be feasible. thankfully, that worked out for the best, but i think nigel lives very aware of that threat nipping at his heels at all times and that’s part of why he throws himself so deeply into the work and was basically oblivious to any other form of Teenagerdom (i.e., jade’s crush or his potential feelings for anyone) for most of his time at aaa.

there’s also a bit of an internal pressure in wanting desperately to make his family proud and feel secure about his future in such an unstable career. like his mom is an analytical mind, she was studying to be an engineer when she was in college but then she dropped out to help take care of nigel’s maternal grandparents and so she never got to realize that for herself and i think she has a lot of anxiety about nigel ending up in a similar situation where he isn’t as secure or happy as she wants him to be. but she doesn’t really like... understand in her head that thats where her hesitation is coming from + the fact that she just isnt an artist and doesnt really get why doing such a risky career would be worthwhile. she supports him, but doesn’t logically Get it. so i think nigel wants to be able to Prove to her he’s got it under control, that he’ll be okay, so that then they can just enjoy his passion as much as he does without worrying about him at the same time. he’s also the first son of the family, and so he has a sort of subconscious pressure as well from masculinity in terms of like coming out successful and able to help support his family, both his and the one he builds in the future with a partner. so big melting pot of anxieties and pressures going on in that beautiful nerdy head of his, but he doesn’t talk about it really even with people he trusts (like yindra and zay) nor do i think he truly understands himself that he’s carrying all that around. it will probably hit him eventually. guess we’ll find out someday!

(fun fact: nigel’s mom also does side work as a seamstress, so that’s part of why he has such a natural appreciation for that type of work. now who else do we know who is a masterful seamstress... hm... its on the tip of my tongue...)

all of that being said, at his core nigel truly is a very laidback guy. its somewhat a persona, but it also is true to his inner self. he’s passionate, but in a tempered and healthy way. i think that sometimes, despite how creative he is in many aspects, he struggles to think outside the box and off the beaten path because of how important measured success and competence is to him. so things like maya doing whatever the fuck she wants and yindra thinking about skipping college and just jumping into the industry don’t compute for him (the same way all of it doesn’t really click for his mom), and as we know, he sometimes becomes frozen in inaction because that feels safer or more logical. and he’s just never going to be the diva that zay or maya or farkle can be, and he’s content with that. if he’s going to make it, in his head, he’s going to achieve it through hard work, dedication, attention to craft, and being a decent person who people enjoy working with. and he also definitely understands the importance of knowing who to trust and having that tight inner circle, i.e., what he has with the true star squad of yindra and zay.

-- Maggie

[espejonight28738]

15×05 "Proverbs 17:3" meta

This is mostly a Dean and Sam meta, but it has a little bit of destiel and samleen towards the end. So, you know, don't like it don't read.

This. Episode. Was. An. Early. Christmas.

For those of you who didn't read my meta on 15×03 "The rupture", I heavily recommend you to do it, for I'm continuing me theory about the future of the series from there, here.

Look, when I said that I thought the series would end with Dean and Sam getting over their toxic codependency in order to get their happy end it? I meant it, but I will admit that my foundations of actual subtext and storytelling were kinda weak (I did made all of it from one (1) dialogue from Cas). But with this episode? I have enough foundations to build the fucking Taj Mahal.

We were presented with a pair of werewolves. They were clearly presented as an (maybe kinda exagerated, I'll admit) mirror of Dean and Sam. I don't think anyone is trying to deny this, seeing as Lilith kinda confirmed it with all the 'Foreshadowing!' (I loved that line I will reference it for the rest of my life). So, I just wanna remark the most important parts of the parallel.

1) They lived isolated in the middle of the woods. Just the two of them. Not as cool as a MOL bunker, but the 'just you and me' feeling kinda sticks anyway.

2) They lie to each other, even though it's a stupid decision for their situation. And then a shameless "I don't lie to you". I knew them for two (2) minutes but I can tell that was a lie.

3) We don't know what happened but that "Dad wouldn't want..." "Dad is dead!" Reeks of daddy issues if I ever saw any.

4) "I look out for you"/ "Watch out for Sammy"

5) Knowing your brother is doing something wrong and still be ready to kill for him (it's not even important who is who in this parallel, both Dean and Sam have been in this situation)

And finally,

6) The werewolves had the ending Chuck is planning for Dean and Sam (or at least one of the many possbilities of it).

But why is it so important that I remark all of this? I don't need to convince you. Like I said, Lilith herself told Dean (us) that this is Chuck's really shitty try at foreshadowing.

And that's the exact point I want to talk about. Shitty.

"Even you said this is stupid."

"God's not exactly Shakespeare."

They are telling us this is what Chuck likes. The unhealthy brother's relationship that ultimately ends in one brother killing the other (and maybe killing himself after it). And they are telling us this is stupid, a bad ending, and wrong.

Chuck is the biggest and most powerful villian, the Monster at the End of The Book. And honestly he's also being on of the most asshole-ish big bads.

They are really doing no attempt to make us sympatize with him.

Amara had a reason to be bitchy, with Chuck having kept ger trapped for billions of years and stuff, and in the end she became the better her.

Both Lucifer and AU!Micheal turned out to be right about God being an asshole.

Naomi had her kind of redemption, Metatron kinda did too.

The BMOL... at least they had good intentions? They did want to rid the world of monsters.

But Chuck... he is just an egocentric narcisist that doesn't care people has to suffer in order to keep him entertained. They are setting him up so we inmediatly show rejectiong for anything he wants. And he wants this.

So, what we are being told, is that the good thing is the opposit. The good thing is a healthy relationship between the brothers that allows them a Happy Ending. No death.

And as I wrote in my meta of 15×03, if we want a happy ending, we can't have a big fight between the brothers.

Because a fight so big they never talk to each other again? Okay, that would probably count as ending the codependency, but they would still get no happy ending, so that can't be where this is going. Or at least were we are supposed to want this to go.

Now, if you remember my first point in the parallel list, it was that the werewolve brothers lived alone, far from the other people, like Dean and Sam do now that Cas is gone. We need to read this as being isolated of other people, not only in a literal 'living in the middle of nowhere' way, but also in an emotional way. The reason it's important if because they are telling us the way to mess up Chuch's ending is by stop being isolated. It's by letting other people close.

And after this big statement in the chapter, what do we get in the promo of the next one?

Cas and Eileen.

Even if Cas doesn't go back to the boys yet (but please let him text Sam back, the boy is worried about his friend that's so soft. And he doesn't even know why Cas left- god, my heart aches. I know Cas and Dean's relationship still had a long way to go before they fix it, but Sam did nothing wrong! Let him get his only friend back), he is being thrown back to the narrative after the revalation that an important piece to having a happy ending is other people close to the brothers. And that's Cas.

(That besides of all the theories of Cas being the catalyst of true free will, which I'm all for and if we do get Cas having such a major rol I swear this will get in my top 3 seasons.)

And Cas could totally work for both brothers. Yet, he isn't the only one coming back. Eileen is finally coming back. And, even if she did was friend of both brothers, she was written as having a closer relationship with Sam, wasn't she?

And she, as a first of all the other girls Sam has liked, is someone who "understands the life" (God, I'm still not over that episode of s11).

Next episode they are bringing a character that has a canonically closer relationship to Sam, and a character that has a canonical and historically closer (and more... passionate, in every sense of the word) relationship with Dean. This is no conincidence.

They way to stop Chuck's ending if by the brother chosing someone else over each other. Is stopping the unhealthy codependency. Is not killing each other. And, that way, getting their happy ending.

(I mean, in a narrative and story-telling way. In a more literal way they still need to find a way to kick Chuck's ass).

I feel the need to say that I wrote this after staring like 1 hour at the promo of 15×06 Golden Time, but even then I can be wrong when saying the girl in the bath tube is my girl Eileen... in that case, this last part of the meta won't exactly age well, but I'm still certain of the rest, so I'll take the risk of making a fool of myself.

Tagging: @metafest @legendary-destiel @agusvedder @verobatto-angelxhunter @cloverhighfive @itwillalwaysbedestiel bc I think you guys liked the first part of this theory