#i hope he can get out of the dept hes in so he can quite one of these jobs and spend more time with his kids

[sonorousabyss]

Can i maybe get a xiao or tsukasa male reader x hashiras if your doing requests or dont mind T_T

Hashiras x Male! Xiao Reader

AN: Thank you for the request Swivy! I'm not sure what format you wanted the post in or who Tsukasa is so I settled for the Xiao reader concept and some of the Hashira that I'm more familiar with!

Request: Yes Summary: Rengoku, Tengen, Sanemi, and Shinobu's thoughts on a male reader with Xiao's general attitude/Personality. Reader uses some derivative of wind breathing because Xiao and Anemo go hand-in-hand. Warnings: N/A

Kyojuro Rengoku

Does not understand M/N at all, but doesn't let it phase him either.

What do you mean you want to stay away from the other demon slayers? Karmic Dept? Such nonsense! Just come with him and you'll make friends in no time at all! Kyojuro knows just how to help!

He met M/N by pure happenstance, passing through a village shortly after nightfall. The H/C-haired man was dueling with a demon not too far from the outskirts- and doing just fine by the Hashira's standards.

M/N ripped through the sick creature with clear and concise strikes, showcasing great skill in his breathing form as he jumped around the demon he was fighting, dodging attacks and almost seeming to dance in the air as he counterattacked, leaving gashes quicker than the beast could regenerate. Then, with one swipe? It was over. The head was sent toppling to the ground, and the body along with it.

Rengoku could only beam at him and clap as he approached, congratulating M/N on a job well done. He didn't notice the apprehension in his body language at all as he set his hand on the smaller man's shoulder, a giant grin on his face.

He'd already been impressed at the show of strength from such a young-looking member of the force, but to learn that this was the 5th demon he'd had to deal with in the past few days? The sheer dedication was astounding.

M/N did not appreciate this in the slightest and was blunt in stating so. Rengoku might've toned down on the physical contact that made him uncomfortable but didn't do the same for his volume or enthusiasm, much to his subordinate's chagrin.

This kept up well into the future as M/N climbed the ranks, with the Hashira asking about his exploits and how his missions had been going.

More than a few times he ended up comparing his breathing style to Sanemi's thanks to the wind aspect, which M/N could quite frankly do without. Couldn't the kind and energetic blond just leave him alone? He didn't want his karma to rub off on him. For demon slayers, dying was an occupational hazard. He'd hate to see such a skilled swordsman perish because he got too close.

Their relationship appeared to get better once the blond discovered M/N's love for almond tofu, which he proceeded to use to bribe him into coming out to eat with him. Things slowly progressed from there, and M/N became fairly comfortable with hanging out with Rengoku. He even stopped protesting! How shocking!

Missions with him were even more interesting, considering their respective fighting styles. By the time their bond of trust had developed, Kyojuro needed only to say his name and M/N would be at his side, hand on the hilt of his blade and ready to shed some blood.

Loyalty and consistency, as it appears, seem to go a long way. Even if his loud voice does tend to hurt his ears.

Tengen Uzui

Tengen... well let's just say he also had a favorable impression of M/N thanks to his fighting techniques.

Leaping into the air and plunging down, striking his enemy with such determination and impeccable form? Dodging quickly and dashing about like he weighed nothing at all? He had to say that his fighting style wasn't half bad. Even a tad flashy.

Of course, there's no way he could ever hope to rival a god such as himself, though... if he were to become his tsugoku...

Not in a million years. Or at least, that's the attitude M/N is rolling with. If Rengoku seemed pushy before, Tengen was going to be an entirely different story.

Rengoku... well... He means well, even if things don't register immediately. The Sound Hashira though? You could tell him to put you down when he's got you over his shoulder and he wouldn't hesitate to not follow that request. He's a whole different level of deliberate stubbornness.

Of course, it's not like he doesn't have his sweet side. He can be downright delightful if you get to know him in the right circumstances. It's just that M/N was never particularly interested in getting to know said sweet side.

Every moment spent in close contact with that man he either witnessed or experienced something disturbing against his will... not that his sense of disturbing was particularly normal, anyway.

For that reason (among several others) the man, though good at killing demons, tends to get on M/N's nerves.

M/N prefers to keep things more on the business side with Tengen. He has an immense respect for the technique and skill he harnesses with his blades in the war against demons. He's an impeccable Hashira, and a reliable comrade to fight alongside. In fact, it's not just him that's impressive. His wives are as well. And- his...mice?

Don't get M/N started on the mice.

They certainly have personality, but they're just one thing on the list of things he didn't know he didn't want to see until he saw them.

How did he even get them that buff?

What is he feeding them?

Is it edible?

Is it almond tofu?

He was hesitant about the wives (and their more affectionate and kind nature) until he tasted their cooking. M/N didn't know something could rival his favorite dish until he had it. Food is also how Tengen bribes him into staying around.

M/N tries to avoid these occasions as much as physically possible, despite how much the food tempts him. Uzui's wives were good people, and he didn't want to risk tainting them with his karma.

Uzui was debatable. He wouldn't mind seeing the man get knocked around by a demon just a little bit in combat to make up for the times he tried to get M/N to embrace a flashier lifestyle. But his wives? Nah.

Sure, they're perfectly capable of self-defense and would put up a good fight against him... but still. Too precious.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

No.

Absolutely not.

Don't get me wrong, Sanemi is strong as hell and good at killing demons, and they might have similar mindsets on things in a certain respect- *cough cough* demons being horrendous creatures that must be dealt with *cough cough*- but the firey ball of anger is just too unpleasant to be around.

Quite frankly Sanemi returns the sentiment.

As cold, distant, and aloof as M/N is, Sanemi isn't looking to befriend him in the slightest, and the same goes in the other direction.

Just because they're wind users and operate in the same corps doesn't mean they need to be buddy-buddy, and they are cool keeping their distance.

M/N is more or less neutral in Sanemi's respect. He'd take almost any other Hashira over him if they were in it for the long haul in terms of missions. In public it's always going to be strictly professional. Very much a "respect is there, but no feelings are attached" type of scenario.

Until M/N climbs the ranks and get's Hashira status, Sanemi is just a capable superior and a benchmark to surpass.

I wouldn't say the respect is returned, but eh. Does it really matter?

Kocho Shinobu

She's by far one of the only Hashira he's comfortable around.

While the others on this list are generally too physically or emotionally present or looking for connection, it's just so easy to be around Kocho and keep things how he's comfortable with them being.

She's level-headed, quiet, clear, and concise, impeccable in the medical field, is well accomplished in a fairly unique style of combat in comparison to the other Hashira, and so much more.

She doesn't need size or brute force to earn others' respect, fear, or admiration. She's just uniquely her... and disturbingly intimidating, in an uncanny valley sort of way.

M/N is of the opinion that if he had to work under any of the Hashira, or at least work with any of the Hashira, she'd be the one he'd want to work under. He trusts her judgment.

Given his occupation, he's likely gotten injured and had to deal with her and those working under her plenty of times as he perfected his combat style, so he knows better than to disobey the doctor's orders.

He doesn't need to look at her face to understand her intent and genuine feelings. He just knows.

Shinobu, I feel, doesn't exactly dislike him either. She's dealt with enough "interesting" types that I get the feeling she can read him fairly well too.

Streamlined. Respect. Loyalty. And Communication.

That is their bond in a nutshell.

They both also have an amusing habit of just.. popping up out of nowhere and startling people, so I think she's gotten a laugh out of that.

Patients have now become aware of the fact that if you're at her place, you now have to watch out for more than just the doc.

I like to think of this place as M/N's Wangshu Inn equivalent. Just a place he chills out playing distant from other people, waiting for the next orders from the top.

M/N also has impeccable hearing, which makes it much easier for him to appear when called.

He's more than likely been ordered to help with rehabilitation training for patients during the times he stays around too long. He doesn't offer up many objections.

AN: If you made it this far, I hope you enjoyed it! Apologies if I didn't get all the Hashira you might have wanted. I hope I did this somewhat justice?

May your day be as pleasant as the ocean's abyss is deep.

For those who are new here, I take requests. You can find my rules here.

[rorygilmoreclown]

Cunk on Ketterdam (pt.2)

Nikolai x Cunk

A/n: took me months didn't this. I also just know that Nikolai would most likely end up broke and in dept in monopoly (just like Ravka)

Word count: 700 something

Cunk: I've been told that you are the king of Ravka and hence I should ask you respectable questions only. I hope you know that I won't be sticking to that tale. I'm somewhat rebellious.

Nikolai: I didn't expect any less.

Cunk: So Nikolai, you are on the king level right? So what's next on the ranking? What's the next level?

Nikolai: There is no next level. This is it.

Cunk: That's a boring video game then isn't it. You should stop playing. But I suppose you have the side quest of trying to be a parakeet to keep you invested.

Nikolai: What? I'm not trying to be a parakeet?! I think you mean privateer.

Cunk: With all due respect, I know what I'm talking about, please don't kinsplain it to me. I also think that you are doing a horrible job at trying to be a parakeet. Okay, next question. They say 'all roads lead to Ravka,' but have you considered putting up some road signs just to be sure?

Nikolai: I don't know who they are but sure, I'll put up signs everywhere.

Cunk: Do you think you would add audio signs since your parakeet friends can't read?

Nikolai: I don't have any parakeet friends, and my privateer friends know how to read anyways.

Cunk: That's a bit sad innit? Anyways I've heard you've got quite the head for strategy. Have you ever considered applying your tactical genius to a game of Monopoly? Those battles can get brutal. I have to warn you.

Nikolai: (Already asking his staff to get it for him)

Cunk: If you were to throw a kingdom-wide party, what would be your go-to dance move? The 'Royal Rumba' or the 'Monarch Mambo'?

Nikolai: That's a clever one, i see what you did there. However I refuse to speak on the topics of my kingdom's hierarchical structure.

Cunk: Man, you are not the person I'd take to any party. So tell me Nikolai, being a king must come with a lot of perks. Do you get a 'royal discount' on those fancy robes, or do you just use coupons like the rest of us?

Nikolai: I actually had this tailor by my staff.

Cunk: You make being a king sound almost lavish. (Talking to her crew: Find me a place to establish my rule and become a king would you?)

Nikolai: I could just give you my tailor? Ruling a kingdom just for clothes would be expensive.

Cunk: Speaking about ruling the kingdom, they say 'behind every great king is a great advisor.' So, who's your go-to person for deciding which socks to wear?

Nikolai: Agastya Yu. That's my socks choosing staff. Cunk: Well, they are doing a good job. (Pointing to his seagull themed socks)

Cunk: If you were stranded on a deserted island with only one Grisha power, which one would it be? I hear controlling seagulls can be quite handy.

Nikolai: I'm not sure that that's an actual power, although being a squaller might have an advantage.

Cunk: Isn't that what I just said? Power of controlling the seagulls.

Nikolai: (Entertaining all the whimsicalness at this point) Yes ofcourse.

Cunk: Talking about your trauma, rumor has it that you've faced some pretty monstrous creatures. How do you handle them? I'm asking for a friend, Mark, he's so terrified of garden gnomes these days. Poor boy can't even go out on his lawn.

Nikolai: (He thinks he's clever by deflecting this one) Why does he have garden gnomes and how as well, if he's so scared of them?

Cunk: No one just has garden gnomes Nikolai. They appear on their own. (To the crew: Had he been living under a rock?)

Cunk: That's it, I'm giving you my presentation on humanity next week. Be ready. This boy clearly knows nothing about the real world now does he.

Stay tuned for the next interview with the famous chef inej ghafa.

[turntableart]

how i met my boss full story

look up at the towering ocean blue door in front of me and let out a sigh

"God dammit" I shove the door open as if I knocked likely no one would open it for me, I swiftly make my way to *his*I  office making sure to miss all his sappy buttlers on the way up, I really don't have the time to fight them or what not. I finally make it to his office, of course it was on the top floor pompus ass and push the double doors open and I walk in, my grimace turning to the kindest smile I can muster

"Oh tu- oh wait I forgot you don't like that name do you? Hello yellow, what a pleasure it is to see you so soon" I try to keep a brave face as I walk over to blues massive desk which of course was the first thing you could see when you walked in, I plop myself into the chair that faced blue and was going to speak but before I could blue had already opened his loud mouth and begain to yabber

"I guess my little idea didn't work to well for you? I guess you need more money am I correct?" I grit my teeth and wear my smile as best I can trying not to crack

"Well it could've gone worse! Turns out being a licensed attorney doesn't help for lemonade..." I clentch my hands if I could I'd beat this guy to a pulp. Of course lemonade wouldn't work I was stupid to actually listen... Though I guess it didn't do to bad but in no way in hell am I telling add-on that, I hear a clicking sound and I snap out of my little though spiral

"Yellow. If you want money your going to have to pay attention to me and listen, no wonder you went under, you were likely to busy in that little head of yours instead of listening to who you were defending" addon let's out a semi-annoyed sigh and looks at me I shiver slightly, his gaze always cuts through me... Like a sharp, cold blade, I nod and stare back in the same manner

"Of course sir, my apologies I get caught up in thought sometimes" he continues to stare through me maybe he's reading my mind... I wouldn't be surprised if he could do so since he's such a "top-hat" or a snob im not really in the mood to drag him through the mud just yet 

"So... About funding" I cherp up my voice still quite but still bright with deals to be made "Ah yes funds. I have no more to give you yellow, you haven't yet payed off your past dept so I'm afraid I can't lend you anymore money" pardon? Bloody what!? Dept? Since when did I have a dept?! This is absolutely unexpected

I slam I hand on adds desk and glare at him with a grimace "I beg your pardon? What dept are you speaking off blue." Add snickers at me and uses his cane to push my hand of his desk "Your last loan yellow, are you really that forgetful? I mean I heard that you forgot half of your cases but I didn't have a single thought that it was true!" He snickers again and pulls out a small check book that so happens to have the date of ever. Single. Check. F¥€k and of course he points out my name as one of the latest checks, proper file name, the sleaze "Does this jog your memory yellow? Or do you need a moment to recall it."

I shake my head and smile at blue sitting back down in my seat, my hands clasped together "No sir, I remember it well I just believed no strings were attached to that loan and it was a simple help to me, not that it would leave me in your dept." Blue smiles a true salesman proud of his work of hidden strings on everything he sells or "gives away" "Well you better pay attention next time yellow, I would like this to be paid off I hope you understand that" I nod trying to keep my composer and not electrocute this sleaze where he sits. And to be honest I think I'm doing pretty well! "Oh yes and I'd like money for the replacement desk I'll have to get, you must learn how to control your 'spark' yellow, this was my favorite desk yet" I give blue a look and look down at the desk and sure as day there's a large burn mark... Shit, I definitely don't have the cash for that, I nod and a sure him i will when I get back on my feet, he smiles and sends me on my way I walk out and let out a sigh of relief

"Well... That...didn't go as planned" I rub my eyes trying to ward off the headache I gained from talking to such a ponpus prat...or likely from sparking up his desk, that fucker deserved it anyways. A month passed and before I knew it I was sat in a sodding ally way looking up at blue who looked more than pleased to see me and the state I was in "What do you want? Come to rub money in my face?" Blue snickered and proded me with his cane causeing me to wobble a bit "Oh it is simply such a heart ache to see what has become of you yellow, I guess you won't be paying off your dept then?" He snickered again and dropped a contract on me that was of course written in some fancy font, he then dropped a pen on me and smiled "If your clever you'll take this chance rather than throwing it away, if you do you'll always know where to find me, and don't worry I'll tell my 'guards' to let you in, you'll just have to show them the contract, anyways good luck yellow" and with that he sauntered off leaving me with only one opinion... I had to sign it

and here is the first story i ever wrote for turnon apologizes if its a lil fucky it was copyed over from yellows spacehey acount but its all here! have fun reading my old writeing!

@emiplayzmc

[fenikorg-talks]

jujutsu kaisen chs 235,236 spoliers!

no but like i truly believe he actually forgot a chapter

you cant tell me otherwise why the heck in chapter 235 gojo was winning and then in ch 236 out of NOWHERE he's in heaven. it doesn't make any fucking sense

this is how 235 ends:

gojo just released purple on sukuna destroying everything in its path, including himself, he healing slowly but steady, and sukuna on the verge of death, without a single hope of winning. everyone else is so sure that gojo won that they arent doubting the fight, they have 100% trust that gojo already won, without any but's or if's.

and THEN 236 starts like this:

at first i thought it was a memory, but then gojo brings up the comment that dying was something to do alone, and I thought it was an hallucination or something like that, but then EVERY SINGLE DEAD PERSON THAT WAS CLOSE TO GOJO started to appear telling him that it was just damn time for him to finally die. Then gojo brings up the bullshit that he didn't do anything to protect the others, that he only did it for fun, to not be bored anymore, to finally fight with an opponent without holding back because he was the strongest and blah blah blah and I was certain it was bullshit. that man right there wasn't gojo it was someone else and gege was trying to get us off balance, something like a distorted reality or mixed thoughts that arent quite true and all that, but then they throw me this on the face:

and we dont fucking know what shit happened. think about it: gojo's winning, sukuna almost dies, there's a very suspicious scene on the airport with teen gojo and everyone who he cared in his teenage years, and now he's dead, half body lying on the ground with a smirking sukuna declaring how the hell he won the match. IT DOESNT MAKE FUCKING SENSE. WERE WAS THE BATTLE? WERE WAS THE ACTION? WERE WAS EVERYONE ELSE COMMENTING THE SHIT THAT WAS HAPPENING? alright, it might have been a surprise attack, BUT WITH WHAT FUNDAMENTS DID SUKUNA ATTACKED??? there are too many plotholes in just these fifteen pages alone and I need answers. there is no need for a great explanation, I just needed a one single panel with the worried expressions of everyone who was watching, screaming even, for gojo who was in danger. if it was really a sneak attack and gojo couldn't see it, at least everyone else did, but noooooo they just showed us maki and yuta holding back themselves from literally murdering sukuna, and that was during sukuna's speech. where was higuruma's, yuji's, hakari's, miwa's, hajime's, ANYONE'S REACTION. JUST ONE WAS ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING BAD WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

another thing that had been bugging me: sukuna was fucking dyyiiing how the fuck did he healed himself if he didn't have enough cursed energyyyy reallyyy this is fucking insaaneeee, there are tooooo many plothollesss I insist. And then there's that, fucking piece of information, that sukuna "was holding back".... my dude, he was LOSING. i don't know if it just came to gege's mind that, "oh i hate gojo so much i cant keep writing this fight its giving me nausea, i know, lets fucking kill him so i don't have to see him again, yey!" ...... I'm sorry that's not how gege thinks. he may hate gojo but he KNOWS he's important for the story, otherwise he would have him gone a looooong time ago, i mean have you seen all the bullshit sad backstories he gives to this man?? the divorce?? the fushiguros???? yuta and mika????? itadori??????? shoko, utahime, masamichi, the elders??????? the DEPT that this man carries???? gege might hate gojo, but lets not forget that he is a well written character. and that also makes me overthink a little about the very first chapters of the manga, when yuji asks gojo if he can defeat sukuna, AND JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK HE RESPONDS??

EXACTLY!! HE WOULD WIN! so that was a fucking lie, gojo was keeping yuji safe from wondering, or gege is planning something sick (there's also the option of gege just forgetting it, but for the sake of my mental health I wont elaborate on that) there are still things I do not understand and I NEED gege to explain.

also, there is this things that keeps coming to my head: sukuna isn't the type of sorcerer to brag about his power, like gojo did before, he releases his power when he needs it, and with the cards he's given. with itadori he couldn't do much because yuji could control him so the little things he did was due to the circumstances, like when yuji asked for help, he didn't want to help but the curse wanted to fight so sukuna killed the curse, then he ASKS YUJI TO RETURN TO THE CONTROL like damn that man has matters. and then, when jogo makes yuji eat the other ten fingers, he's overpower and starts to do whatever he wants because he has been in yuji's control way too much, and after he defeats jogo, who willingly wanted to fight sukuna, he literally gives yuji the control of the body again. it might be to lower yuji's motivations but still, he took advantage of the momentum to move on with his plan. another time he took the opportunity was when yuji died and made the contract that allowed him in the shibuya incident take control of fushiguro's body. this guy is smart, and he doesn't waste opportunities, so I can see him winning the battle. we all know by now that he did in fact won the battle, but we don't know with what kind of plan or tricks did he do it. i still don't buy the thing with mahoraga

i feel like it's something else, something is missing, then again there isn't enough information, probably lost on the chapter gege forgot to release.

THE FACT THAT THIS MOMENT ALONE MADE ME SCREAM INTO THE VOID. and it wasn't because gojo was dead, neither because sukuna gave him the credit he deserved, NO, its because gojo's smiling, he's FUCKING SMILING. that man doesn't want to fight anymore, its written all over the page, that man is tired, satisfied, and is hallucinating. and the fact that I can see that is what makes me scream. WHAT ABOUT FUSHIGURO MAN, ARE YOU JUST GONNA LET HIM DIE IN THE PIT OF DARKNESS HE'S IN?!! WHAT ABOUT THE PROMISE BRO WTF I know you didn't like Toji, but you got way too close with the kid you wanted to protect him you wanted him to live DUDE. he's just gonna leave all the work to the others, he wants to rest, he doesn't want to do anything with curses or sorcerers or anything like that, he will LEAVE them alone helpless because gojo was their last hope he was the strongest the only one who could win against the king of curses damn it aaaallll.

and THAT just makes me think... what are the others thinking? the only reactions we got from the last chapter were from maki, yuta, yuji and hajime, and they're veeeeery different

LOOK VERY CLOSELY TO THEM

yuta is fucking angry and worried and obviously scared, but still grabs his katana so anxious as he wants to go to the battlefield. maki is holding him back, with a more steady and severe expression, because she knows they cant defeat sukuna. the background around them is dark and still meaning they're still in the same place, holding back and waiting for the next move. yuji's expression is fucking scared, he's worried and he's sweating, and I'm certain he's trying not to cry, his background is moving which can mean he's moving to the battlefield even if he knows he's going to die, no one is holding him back which can mean either they are letting him go (such a shitty friends really) or haven't noticed he's gone. and hajime Is already IN the battlefield. that slash that cut gojo in two had enough time for him to move from wherever they were into the battlefield and he's EXCITED HE'S SMILING LIKE THE FUCKING IDIOT HE IS idk if he will be able to win against sukuna given the fact that he literally killed gojo, but oh well...

this is madness, i need the forgotten chapter

let me know about other things you notice too pleasssseeee

this also gave me A LOT of things to think about, like what will happen with itadori and his powers and all the rage he has and all the dead people he has seen and... well, all the tragedy

i might as well post something about itadori, we'll see

[sweetiesshortstories]

Amor Ardentis the Beginning

*author note at the end*

After two years you've been promoted to field work as a detective unexpectedly, and you happily accept the position. On your first day you wait to receive your dog near your first crime scene. Every detective gets one, or sometimes several to make a team. Your boss, Sergeant Alicia Pete stands to the side with her arms crossed, her high and tight ponytail dangling down her back. The silver strands in her hair catch the streetlights and you can't help but to think how they contrast with her youthful face. She's wearing thick combat pants and a fitted under armor shirt, a far cry from the office attire you currently wear. The chill of the night brushes against your exposed legs and you fight the urge to shiver.

Down the street you spot a large van turning your direction and you straighten your posture while pulling your shirt taut, smoothing any wrinkles. A nervous habit you hope to shed now that you have such a high ranking role. Every coworker would be a trained observer, not quite as skilled a profiler but skilled enough to read you and your nervous "ticks".

The van's windows are tinted almost black and large white letters on the sides of the vehicle and the hood read " POLICE DEPT". It slows to a stop on the shiny wet road and a stocky man steps out, giving you and your boss a polite greeting.

"Got the dogs all ready, told'em they were getting a new handler." The comment strikes you as odd, but you don't remark. Plenty of people talk to their pets and other animals, you aren't one to judge them.

"Let's get the introductions over with. We have killers to sniff out and the rain is on its way." Sergeant Pete says as she walks to the back of the van, mist dances in the air like smoke and as if to prove her point, begins resting on the van and forming larging beads. The driver nods, whistling, and unlocks the backdoor. You move to stand by your boss and impatiently lean to peak inside. You're excited. You haven't had time for a pet in ages, and the thought of bonding with a work dog and becoming partners makes you giddy. What breed will you get? Will it be a boy or a girl? You hope they like you and take to you well, regardless of the breed. But when the door is fully opened you're left speechless.

You stare into midnight black eyes that are cold, distant, and they're on a human. A man. You can hardly contain your shock as you take a step back and inhale sharply. Sergeant Pete laughs, but it's not a laugh of humor.

"Didn't I say in my request that my recruit is new? She's never had a dog before. She can't have Leo assigned to her. He's been dropped by his last four handlers. For fucks sake..."

You don't hear the driver respond, you pay no mind to their bickering at your side. You're staring at the man in the back of the van, dressed in dark clothing, with a thick metal collar around his neck keeping him chained to the wall of the van. Your mouth dries and you move your tongue to combat the discomfort but your tongue is a shriveled sponge. He has circles under his eyes, light smudges of grey giving him a tired appearance, his skin is pale and almost looks like it will start glowing. He looks away from you and you notice there are other people in the van with collars on their necks. Two men and a woman, though they look curious and somewhat excited in comparison.

The woman lifts her chin slightly and you see her nostrils flare. Before you can think more on the strange behavior Sergeant Peter storms to your side with a huff, one hand on her temple.

"We don't have time for this! Leo, any games tonight and you're done. You hear me? I'll have you retired." Sergeant motions to you. "This is your handler for tonight. You'll be with her and if she even hints at you giving her trouble, the paperwork for your retirement will be filed so fast your head will spin." The man she calls Leo doesn't look at her, but he gives a curt nod as the driver steps into the van with keys in his plump fist.

He unlocks Leo, the collar opens and you watch as he unlocks the others one after the other. Chains slide and metal clanks on the floor of the van as the occupants stand and stretch their necks.

"Sergeant," you whisper. She side eyes you, still facing the open van. "I thought I was getting a dog."

"You are. You're a Level S Detective, we're not going after humans. Our dogs are demons, the desmodus sapiens, so that we survive to work another day." You don't have time to press her for more information, Leo is towering at your side and another demon stands at your Sergeants back. His hair is a striking blond and his body looks athletic, lithe. He catches your gaze and flashes you a charming smile, making you look away quickly.

"Hazel," Sergeant hands the blond demon her secondary gun from her left hip. "Leo, no gun for you tonight, your handler is keeping them both. We're hunting three ghouls, ladies!" She says the last part to the entire team and turns away.

"Tsk, tsk, Leo, guess you're hands-on only." Hazel purrs as he spins the gun in his hand and drops it in the holder on his hip. He turns and walks towards the Sergeant who's calling out the next set of instructions.

Each handler is to go off with their..."dog" in search for the ghouls that are killing young women. You and Leo are assigned the east side of the town and before the sergeant dismisses the team, he walks off, heading east.

You cast one last look at the lifeless body covered in a white sheet, and turn away, quickly following Leo. He's tall and his strides are large, carrying him away faster than you can comfortably walk.

You quicken your pace, the sounds of the crime scene fade behind you and the tap of your footsteps echo off the sides of businesses that have closed for the day. You can't help but to eye Leo closely.

You'd never been around a demon before, you knew what came on the news and what was written in papers. Neither source ever made them sound human yet every one of them in the van looked...normal. You're at his side and glance over to him, tracing his strong profile and shaggy black hair. His features are strong, well sculpted, and despite his hard expression you take note of his thick eyelashes and the gentle curve of his cheekbones.

"Is there a reason you're staring at me?" It's the first time he's spoken and the softness of his tone startles you. He speaks just loud enough for you to hear his question, but not loud enough where you can get a grasp on the sound of his voice.

"S-sorry." You say quickly, looking ahead. You want to act like you belong, fit in, but you're ogling a demon and can't help but to scold yourself.

"Huh, you really are new." You resist the urge to look over at him again, instead you scan the quiet road ahead, lingering on the shadows and straining your ears, but the only thing you can hear are your own shoes clicking on the pavement.

You were supposed to be doing orientation in office, so you dressed business professional. A fitted skirt, blazer, a white blouse and heels. You were shocked when you were instead greeted with a double holster and the news of a dead body.

"Sorry, we don't have time for coddling in this department. Set your things at your desk and meet me in the garage." Sergeant had said to you. You barely had anytime to take in the drab office.

You're suddenly stopped, Leo's arm is crossed over your abdomen. You look to him in question but you pause your curiosity as you take in his dark expression and narrow eyes. Holding your breath you slowly look around, squinting into the distant tree line. Nothing looks amiss, nothing sounds strange. In fact there's no sound. At all.

Leo balls his hand into a fist and grips your shirt firmly, with a yank you fly forward. You throw your hands out but your knees scrape on the sidewalk and a burning sensation floods through your legs. You want to cry out at the pain, the shock of being thrown to the ground, but you hear snarling at your back that makes the pain on your knees seem like a distant memory.

Looking over your shoulder and see Leo's back to you and his arms in the air, holding back a creature with an elongated jaw and bright red eyes. A ghoul; a demon that had fed on it's own kind. Their skin is a sickly gray and the hair that hangs from their head is thin, stringy. Leo has the creature by the throat, his other hand holds the creatures talon-like claws, and you can hear him grunting a command at you.

"Move...back!"

You listen, scrambling to the grass while your hand fumbles with one of your hip holsters. You hear the screeching ring louder and it's followed by a series of thuds. With your gun in hand you stand up and press your back against a tree, watching Leo and the ghoul attack each other. Their moves are too fast for you to follow.

You bounce your head rapidly, attempting to keep track of what was happening but they're nothing more than a blur. From across the street you make out another blur, the faint flicker of movement in the shadows.

The movement heads in your direction and once it enters the milky moonlight you see the telltale sickly, clammy, gray skin. It's eyes are set on you, it twists it head to the side and it's jaw cracks as it unlocks and widens to unnatural lengths. You grip the butt of your weapon and aim as the creature runs towards you on all fours.

You fire. It dodges your first shot. You fire again, and make contact with it's leg. It screeches, its jaw swings and dark saliva drips from the mangled teeth.

You fire again and miss.

It's only mere feet from you now, and you fire again. The bullet rips through its throat, blood sprays down the front of the ghoul and sputters choke from its mouth.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Not on your first day. There's a sour taste prickling your tongue but you swallow and take a step back, flattening yourself against your support tree, then sliding into the small patch of mulch at the base.

Blood leaks from the ghoul, a putrid black liquid that slowly spreads over the pale pavement. You watch until the fingers stop twitching and the sputtering silences. For a moment you forget you aren't alone, you forget there was another ghoul. The silence is back in place and your ears are ringing with the screeches from the dead ghoul and the wet gurgles from its lips. And its eyes...they looked shocked. The human expression takes you by surprise, but before you can get too lost, Leo bends down at your side.

He doesn't speak, he balances on his haunches and you two sit in silence. Your heart is racing but gradually it settles as does your breathing. Eventually you're able to tear your eyes from the ghoul on the pavement and you look at the motionless form in the road, its abdomen and chest ripped open. You take a deep inhale, the smell of the mulch fills your nostrils.

"I did that to you?" Leo's voice is hushed, almost a whisper. You look over to him and see his eyes fixated on your leg. You lift your chin to inspect and see trails of blood from your knee snaking down your calf. You hardly feel it at all.

You sit yourself up straight and move your leg, a small wince dances on your face. At your side, Leo lets his knees sink into the ground and his palms flatten on the grass. His eyes are wide and glassy, reflecting the moonlight, and he lowers his face towards your leg, slowly. Inching in a painful pace.

You're unable to move.

You stare and feel his breath brush over your leg and the warm blood drops that stretch down towards your ankle. His breath is hot, almost scorching, like the air from a winter fire. The chill of the night is gone and the warmth you feel from him on the outside seeps inside of you. Your chest is enflamed and your cheeks are burning. His breathing is ragged, he closes his eyes and you watch his tongue drop from his mouth and slide over a pearly trail of crimson.

Your eyes widen and your lips part. He flattens his tongue against you and drags it further up your leg, slowly, a low groan rumbling in his chest and vibrates through to you. You feel it in your flesh, your muscle, and bones. In the milky moonlight you catch a gleam in his mouth and notice pointed teeth. Your gaze follows his mouth as he moves over to another thin line of blood and you watch his fangs lengthen before your eyes. The sight takes your breath away and your chest deflates audibly.

It catches Leo's attention, the sound of you being breathless and his eyes flick to you with the speed only a predator can manage. His eyes aren't as dark as they were previously, his irises look a faint red and black pin drop pupils were visible, giving him the savage appearance of an untamed animal.

He eyes you like he's ravenous and he moves up the length of your body with his mouth opened slightly, taking in your scent. Your heart is racing, it's thudding in your ears as he trails his nose lightly up your chest, his breath fanning over your neck. Unfamiliar sounds are coming from him, something close to a click like purr, and then, he abruptly pulls back. The sudden loss of his presence is startling and your shoulders drop as the chill of the night returns.

Leo has a tight fist over his mouth, he turns away sharply.

"Go back to the van and call the sergeant." He hisses.

"What? What about you?" You do your best to steady your voice but there's a hint of faintness.

"You need to go. I can't...be around blood. I'll watch your back but you need to go. Now."

What he says does something to you, it has an effect that's almost ailing and you don't know why. There's a pang in your chest and slowly you stand to your feet with your eyes downcast, then walk away without another word.

You don't bother looking back or checking to see if he's really behind you, you feel almost too embarrassed to. Why didn't you stop him? Why didn't you say anything? And why did you care so much when he deduced his actions to a weakness for blood?

The van comes into view and as you approach you see the sergeant standing with Hazel and the driver. When the sergeant spots you she walks away from the two men and flicks her chin towards you in question as she looks behind you.

"He's coming. We encountered two ghouls." You say in a controlled tone.

"No shit! Two? That should be all of them, right boss?" Hazel remarks as he walks over to join you two. When you look closer at the sergeant and Hazel, you notice blood splatter on their clothes and a few specks on their faces.

With one last look around you holster your gun and cross your arms across your stomach. Hazel pulls out his phone but pauses his gesture midair as his pupils contract. His distant gaze shifts to you and drops down your form until he sees your bloody knee, and he turns abruptly.

"I-I'm gonna call Leo and see if he's good." He mumbles, but Leo appears, like magic. He drops down from the sky and it catches you off guard, making you jump back and stare questioningly up to the roof of the theater. How did he get up there without anyone hearing anything? Or seeing anything?

He has the ghouls in tow, one on each shoulder. He lets the bodies fall to the ground and tilts his head, cracking his neck.

"No need. I'm here." He looks collected, nothing like he did moments before when you two were alone.

"Wow, look at that." Sergeant Pete scoffs lightly. "I guess I stand corrected on you two working together. Unless something happened I don't know about." She's eyeing you both, but you especially. Her brow raises, as if she's daring you to lie to her.

"Nothing at all." You say. "He got the first one, I wasted a few bullets but took the second one down." Her gaze lingers on you, her icy blue eyes intently peer into your brown ones, then they slide over to Leo.

"Aright then," Sergeant says slowly. "Then perhaps this team up works after all." She turns away and Leo steps forward.

"Sergeant," she looks over her shoulder and with wide eyes you stare at Leo. "That's not entirely what happened." The sergeant turns back around with one slender brow raised.

"Oh?" She pushes, crossing her arms. But something inside is telling you to stop what's about to happen.

"He's being dramatic," you say, stepping just ahead of Leo into your Sergeants line of sight. You gesture to your leg which Sergeant Pete acknowledges with a tight forehead.

"Did he touch you?" She demands.

"No!" You answer quickly. Your voice echoes in the night and catches the attention of Hazel and the driver. "I mean, he pushed me out of the way because a ghoul was approaching at my rear. I banged my knee. That's it. He feels guilty for pushing me is all."

You had never lied to a superior before. Ever. The urge to do so in that moment was confusing, but inescapable. You didn't even question it. You feel Leo's stare but keep your focus on Sergeant Pete with your face relaxed. She slides her eyes over to Leo and gives him once over.

"Is she telling the truth, Leo?"

"Yes." He doesn't hesitate and you're grateful. Your shoulders relax slightly just as your sergeant turns her attention back to you.

"I want the reports on my desk by tomorrow morning." She turns away and walks towards her car to call off the search, leaving you and Leo by the deceased ghouls.

"Well, now we've both lied to the sergeant." He says in his soft tone. You glance over to Leo and the sensation of his tongue caressing your skin invades your senses when you make eye contact. Afraid he could see your thoughts in your eyes you look away and cross your arms over your stomach.

"I'd rather not be known as the detective that was licked by her partner on her first day, thank you." You reply haughtily.

"I'm not your partner; I'm your dog. Don't let the other detectives hear you refer to me any other way." He walks towards the van before you can respond and you drop eyes to the pile of ghouls growing cold at your feet.

Author: Thank you to everyone that reads, reblogs, comments, messages, it's so appreciated. This is one of my vampire concepts that's been in my written drafts for a long time. I've always wanted to explore it and since it was so well received and I am STILL (❤️) receiving DM's requesting more, I decided to add additional context. How I envision them meeting. I don't experiment often with second person but I'm thrilled changing my first person perspective paid off so well. If anyone's interested in exploring these characters and their world more, don't hesitate to let me know!

Hugs and kisses to you all

[stellahaze135]

Ok so hear me out, the reason my blanket OC NightShade or Shade (the one that has Umbrakinesis.) has that monicker is because of Ivy. Ivy n Shade have always been cool, almost like a sibling bond, and Ivy’s always called her different flower names. One night, one really stuck after Shade helped Ivy raid/sabotage a chemical processing plant, where Shade for one of the first times uses her powers in an effective combative way. Ivy makes the offhand comment of ‘Thatta girl! Beware The Deadly Nightshade!’ And it kinda stuck. Well years go by, Shade gets real damn good at tech things and espionage (you can tell she shadowed Selina a lot on her heists being an honorary Gotham City Siren.) but eventually an event happened where it kinda forced her to look for new surroundings.

The earthquake that practically leveled the city, forcing it to become a No-Man’s Land. (talking the comic arc not the season of Harley Quinn just to clarify.) So she was able to find work in, guess where, but Raccon City. She finds work, ironically, at the R.P.D in their tech dept. specifically under the S.T.A.R.S division. Where she meets and becomes friends with most of the team including Jill, Chris, and Rebecca (I actually have a headcanon that Rebecca is actually one of the first people in RC to find out about Shade’s powers but because Rebecca is a literal angel, she promises to never tell!) and of course Captain Wesker. Now, she always knew Umbrella and Raccoon were dirty, like more corrupted than Gotham, and THAT was definitely saying something. But she had no idea Wesker was working for Umbrella all along. Until she happened to unwillingly listen in on a phone call between Wesker and Birkin. She always had complicated feelings about the Captain. He was drop dead gorgeous but he was also a bit scary to tell the truth. And she was used to people like Scarecrow and Joker. But to learn that he was working with Umbrella well that put a bit of ice in her veins for sure. She knew that because of her status as metahuman/mutant that could put her in all sorts of danger that she didn’t want any part of. She spent enough time in Arkham to be incredibly weary of scientists. She never wanted to be another experiment ever again. But her feelings, destiny, and he had other plans.

Wesker took an interest in her anyway, despite not knowing what she was. He considered her quite intelligent resourceful and he had to admit that he found her incredibly attractive. If she was afraid of him she knew how to put up a good front. She’d give his sarcasm and snark right back to him, and definitely didn’t take any shit from anyone else. The teams would joke that you could definitely tell she was a Gotham girl. And despite everything, Shade and the Captain still managed to hook up. (Shade like me has a really hard time saying no to that little voice in our heads that tells us to not do the fucking thing that we really shouldn’t do.) Anyways skip to the mansion incident, and both Shade and Albert are forced to show their hands. And Wesker’s just plain impressed ok? Not only did she manage to hide this beautiful development (seriously he thought she was breathtaking the first time she used her powers. Would he ever admit that out loud to anyone else? Probably not.) but she managed to hide them while they were fucking? He definitely made a mental note to keep tabs on her in the future eventually trying to win her over to his side as an asset, and he silently hoped future Goddess to his God. Which he does. Well he wins her over to his side anyway. She hates to admit it but Wesker’s become the Joker to her Harley. He’s got her wrapped around his little finger, but she hates to do anything against Chris and the others. He’d call her weak but she’d counter that she still has a moral compass. A definitely damaged one, but it still works. Skip through 5 and his death. She comes to terms with their relationship however incredibly messy it was, and decides she needs to move on…. Then Chris gets wind of happenings in Eastern Europe. And well let’s just say a new distraction in the form of a burly crass sexy metal man that chain smoked the finest of cigars with enormous mommy issues. But oh is Karl actually so sweet to her. He puts up a good front she wasn’t gunna lie, but once they got to know one another work together to take down Miranda… Well she found Albert Wesker to be a distant memory. For now.

I wanna set up a love triangle and maybe eventual poly relationship with the three of them. Like after Village, Shade n Karl get sent to Arkham, but this time with Karl she’s willing to go cause fuck they’ve been through some shit and need to talk it out. Being years later, the city and asylum have been rebuilt.

Things seem to settle down, Shade’s content, and Karl’s been really receptive to therapy. That is until another curve ball was dealt. Wesker somehow survived the volcano, pulled out by his own people after the dust had settled, but as they were busy keeping Albert stable, the BSAA breaks in. They apprehend Wesker and where is it decided that he be sent to? Arkham Asylum of course. If they had the capability to contain the likes of Poison Ivy and Killer Croc then they had the facilities to keep him contained.

I‘d love to see Karl n Albert bickering and the sexual tension is palpable, and I don’t know who moved in first but in a split second the two are passionately making out. Wesker mostly doms both Karl and Shade, Karl’s a classic switch, and Shade for all her bark is a bit subby.

[polar-bears-making-pancakes]

Sooo.. what did you think of the show? How was it? (Only if you want to share of course!!)

Soooo it's gonna be messy because I'm still reeling from 24 hours without sleep and then 4 hours of sleep during the day and I'm not very good at processing what happened aldkfj

First of all I'm so happy and thankful for all the people who I met up with. They are the best and I had the an absolute blast. I don't know if it's a phannie specific occurrence when you meet people from the internet but we were all on so very similar wave lengths and we talked for hours about fascinating topics and of course dnp. I felt so safe with them and I could talk about basically everything. So thank you so much Kate, Katie, Magda, Jana and Jo <333 you are the best

About the show on its own .. hmm it was definitely a budget version. I'm so sad we didn't get the rainbow lights, the eclipse light and the cubes :( The venue looks godawful from the outside, and you have ultrasound and tile shop in the same building but the inside was quite hipstery and not as bad. Very postcommunistic tho. Also the church, cemetery and closed mall just outside gave very specific vibe to it aksjdjhf I got the cheapest ticket so I didn't have meetngreet but it still felt surreal to be in the same room as Dan. I sat quite far to the back but at the isle so I had not the worst view. Seeing him on stage didn't feel real, I felt like I was watching a video with a room full of rowdy queers. And even if in Poland we weren't really meeting new people and mingling socially amongst the separate groups, sitting in the audience still felt like being a part of some bigger thing. What irritated me were the bar lights that were on the whole duration of the show and kinda ruined the immersion. Also I was cold. About the show's content: wow Dan sings really good, I loved looking at him enjoying himself so much on the stage, this really was his passion project and I felt like he did it mostly for himself but also wanted to give us a good message too. I think I enjoyed the most the part with sending to hell jk rowling, jeff bezos and putin (the scream for him was the loudest :')) and sparing tony the tiger because tigers and endangered. Polish specific madlips were also very good. Bubbles? It was weird hearing it in zloties. And my friends in the front row get soaked. Also daaan we don't have student's depts here?? The unis are free. As a lot of people said before he was really careful about the communist part because he underlined that NOT like soviet russia but like Denmark he said I think? I was very focused on every word he said and was listening to him carefully but I don't remember that. In the calendar part, I'm so happy they have their take away fries days on saturdays 🥹 the time he most constantly feel the most content... And the most important part.. the monologue at the end. The second part of the show was shorter, wasn't it? Because it ended so fast for me. I didn't cry because I'm absolutely emotionally disconnected and can't feel much of anything. But I love him so much. I was looking at him and trying really hard to telepathically convey to him how much he is loved here. The hopeful message is so important to me. It gets better. And we can help someone. We should reach out. We can't give up because even my stupid reblogging of some posts might be the one thing that saves someone. Very interesting to think about virtue signaling in this context as he was saying. I loved when people started cheering after he said he's gay and he was like wow took you so long of the show to realise this akdjdbbfjf and yeah I loved the gay jokes and him smacking his butt multiple times. I was wondering how many people were there randomly because something gay was happening and how many people only vaguely knew who he was and watched him only a bit in the past. Because there was so many references and when he shows bits of his old videos? I wonder what thoughts they had. And the worst part is that he fucking sneaked out so fast before we left the building :((( we waited for him after because we didn't believe when someone said to us that he left already. And I had the train back at 4 am so I didn't have much else to do. Absolutely don't recommend warszawa centralna train station during the night. I'm so glad I wasn't alone. Dan also said fuck Warsaw I don't want to spend any additional minute here bye. Hope he has fun in Helsinki.

Overall I'm proud of myself that I did go even if I'm often scared to leave my house at all. Warsaw show felt a bit like a bastard show added later on with very cut expanses. But I'm glad he went here and I'm so happy I saw him. Hopefully I don't fali my exam because of it

[stagefullofentertainment]

Christmas Time pt. 12

We did it, you guys! Tomorrow is Christmas! I'm really happy that you spend this time with me and the gang. Today we finish 12 days before Christmas with Secret Santa!

Charlie: Are you ready?

There were roars of agreement from Angel and Niffty, thumbs up from Husk and calm nods from Vaggie and Alastor. Charlie herself beamed with joy, finally getting to exchange gifts with her friends. Other demon royalty weren't interested in this and she only got the chance to give presents to her parents but it lasted till her teen years. Then she met Vaggie and started celebrating Christmas again. Not as fancy but she didn't complain. It was the people that made the holidays, not gifts. Now, she could make more people happy and spread holiday cheer!

Charlie: If you guys don't mind, can I be the first to give my present?

Alastor: What if I want to be first? *Asked resting his head on his hand*

Charlie: Well, okay...?

Alastor: *Scoffs* I'm merely messing with you. Go ahead.

Charlie: Umm, okay?

She looked back at Alastor once more, searching for honesty in his expression. He just waved his hand as in *go ahead*. Nobody else seemed to mind and Charlie sighed, calming her excitement down.

Charlie: So, the person I got was... Niffty!

Charlie dashed to Niffty with a huge gift bag in her hand who was still processing everything. Charlie hugged Niffty and gave the bag to her.

Charlie: C'mon, open it!

Niffy nodded eagerly and looked inside, not even knowing what she could possibly get. The first thing on which her eyes fell of was a big red plush popping from the bag. She took it first to investigate. It was a huge red panda plushy, half sized to Niffty. She couldn't help but squeal out of excitement. It was so cute!

Niffty: Thank you so much! It's adorable!

Charlie: *Giggles* I'm glad you liked it! Look what else is there.

Niffty: There's more?

She reached deeper into the bag, pulling a winter themed food container. She opened it and found gingerbread cookies. Some were decorated with Christmas tree, some with snowflakes and some made into resemblance of Hazbin residents. She took one who looked similar to her in admiration.

Angel: Wait, is it me or are these made similar to us?

Charlie: Yep! Some of them are. I made them myself!

Angel: *Laughs* You better got my shape right.

Charlie: I tried my best! There should be one more thing there, Niffty!

Niffty carefully put the container on the table while plushy was occupying chair next to her. She took a photo album which had handwritten "Merry Christmas" on it. Niffty opened it and felt like she was going to cry out of happiness. It had different photos of her friends with Charlie's handwritten messages here and there. To no surprise, there was only Alastor missing who hated photos but Charlie still drew a deer or radio in some pages.

Niffty: Thank you so much! I don't think that I have ever gotten so many presents!

Charlie: You're welcome!

They both engaged in a hug which was bit tricky due to height difference but they managed. Niffty felt beyond happy to get such presents from the princess herself. Sometimes Niffty couldn't believe that she actually knows Charlie personally. Benefits of being in dept to overlord? Hardly so.

When the hug ended and Charlie walked back to her sitting place, Niffty pulled two medium sized boxes wrapped in Christmas paper, tied with ribbon from her side. She stood up on her chair to be more visible.

Niffty: Alright, I got.. Husk!

She ran to him, while Husk thanked the universe that his Santa wasn't Angel or Alastor. Niffty handed Husk the two boxes, jumping happily.

Niffty: I really hope you like these!

Husk felt a thug on his heartstrings. Seeing someone be this joyous and wanting to gift something wonderful to him was quite a rare occurrence. He never was gifted anything just for the holidays, it was always as a way to gain him over or instead of money. Husk felt a tear forming but he shaken his head and thankfully took the gift.

Husk: Thanks.

He carefully untied the ribbon and accidentally saw Alastor piercingly looking at him. Alastor's expression was mocking, indicating that he saw through Husk's random head shake. Husk decided to ignore him and took the lid from the first box. There laid a brand new top hat, in the colour of dark grey with silver ribbon around it.

Niffty: I thought that you would like a new hat for a chance of pace.

Husk delicately took the hat out for closer inspection. It looked really good and well-made. He took his usual top hat and changed it with a new one. He looked at Niffty with half a smile.

Husk: Well, how do I look?

Angel: Good enough to get me on a date!

Husk looked at Angel annoyed while others snickered.

Niffty: It fits you! Now, open the other one!

Husk: Alright, alright, slow down.

He took the second box. Again, very carefully, Husk opened it. Inside he found beautifully packaged bottle of "Sunset Rum". He could already feel the delicious taste of it. He also noticed a small package at the bottom. Husk took it and upon looking closely he understood what it was, making him smile even more. It was a set of playing cards. Not ordinary! They were quite fancy-with gold outlines and silverish backgrounds.

Niffty: Maybe with a new set of cards you could win more?

Alastor: Ha! Good luck with that!

Husk ignored Alastor's comment and did the unthinkable - willingly hugged a person in years. He put down the cards and bear hugged Niffty. Now Husk let that tear slid.

Husk: *Whispers* Thank you, Niffty.

Niffty: *Whispers back* You're welcome, Husk. I also cleaned the bar yesterday for you.

Husk: *Chuckles* And I wondered how did it get spotless. I really appreciate it.

Niffty: Only the best for friends, right?

Husk: Right.

They let go of the embrace. Well, mostly Husk because Niffty wasn't able to hug him back properly because of his tight hug. She walked back to her seat while Husk took his presents from the top of the table.

Husk: I guess it's my turn. I got... Angel...

Angel: Hey! Where is your enthusiasm, pal?

Husk walked to Angel and compared to Niffty his step was dreadful. He handed Angel a bottle wrapped in Christmas paper and two small boxes.

Angel: Wow, you hate me that much or what?

Husk: What the hell? Why?

Angel: A bottle? Really? You took from here, huh?

Husk: No! I bought it.

Angel: *Continues to tease* Let's say that. And only two boxes? Am I worth that little to you?

Husk: Can you imagine how hard it is to think of a present to someone like you?

Angel: No.

Husk: Without being overly dirty?

Angel: Yeah, that would be harder.

Husk: Plus, these weren't that cheap, you know.

Angel: I'll be the judge of that.

Angel decided to check the bottle first. He unwrapped the paper and saw a white medium bottle of Vermouth. He recalled that they didn't have it here in hotel, so Husk was telling the truth about buying it.

Angel: How did you guess I like this?

Husk: *Shrugs* You don't seem to enjoy heavy drinks that much, plus you're Italian.

Angel nodded approvingly, putting the bottle aside.

While that was happening, Charlie noticed a small paper laying beside her right hand. "Not again", she thought, silently reading it while everyone looked interested in what Husk gifted Angel. "Well, who do you think it will be?" was written there. In usual fashion, the paper evaporated into thin air. Charlie turned to look at Alastor who shrugged and proceeded to look at Angel. Charlie did the same but she failed to notice a cracking smirk on Alastor's "interested" facade.

Next Angel chose to open the littlest box. Inside he found a white bow tie with pink stripes. He couldn't help himself but to open the last box which was bit larger. Inside he found long gloves in exactly the same design.

Angel: *Interested* Where did you find these?

Husk: I didn't. They're custom made.

Charlie: *Surprised* You know how to sew?

Husk: No! One guy owned me a favour.

Angel: I! Love! It!

Angel couldn't believe that someone would do this for him. He had gotten presents before but they were out of gratitude in his business. Maybe Charlie's Secret Santa idea wasn't so corny. He excitedly stood and stepped closer to Husk.

Angel: Give me a hug, big guy!

Husk: Slow down!

But Husk himself was too slow. He was hugged by Angel in similar manner that he hugged Niffty. Husk succumbed to his fate and lightly hugged Angel, as much as he could make it. Angel let him short after, feeling that Husk wasn't a hugger. As much as Angel wanted to try his new accessories out, there was presents to give out. He took a Christmas gift bag from behind of his chair and announced.

Angel: The lovely person who I got was... Vaggie!

He casually walked over to her while everyone debated how many dirty stuff there could be. Especially Vaggie.

Angel: Here ya go! Merry Christmas!

Vaggie: *Suspiciously asked* Can I open this? Is it appropriate?

Angel: Duh, who do you think I am?

Vaggie: Yourself?

Angel: Touche.

Vaggie slowly looked inside the gift bag. She didn't notice anything too bad right out of the bat. Two boxes and it looked like some sort of candy. She decided to go with the candy first. Vaggie pulled it out and it was a large chocolate bar with nut mix from her favourite brand. She looked at Angel surprised.

Vaggie: You remembered my favourite chocolate?

Angel: Of course!

Vaggie: Well, thank you!

Angel: Don't thank me just yet.

His tone suggested Vaggie that there is something not so appropriate there, so she decided to open the boxes in the bag. She looked in the first one and there was a really fancy knife. She excitedly took it out to look better at it in the light. It had intriquently detailed rose design on it's handle while the blade was black.

Angel: I thought that you could refreshen your knife collection with this bad boy.

Vaggie: That is actually a good gift. Thank you.

Angel: Ah, ah, ah! What did I say?

Vaggie glanced at him mistrustfully. This one she decided to open extra carefully. Inside the box she found a brand note with name, it read "Vibrator Necklace". Vaggie immediately looked at Angel with anger and embarrassment in her eyes.

Vaggie: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Angel: Hey, you'll thank me after using that. Believe me, it does wonders.

Charlie: *Tried to peak in the back* What is it?

Vaggie: *Pulls the bag away from her* A reason for me to try out that knife!

Angel: Wow, girl, calm down! I bought it with pure intentions.

Vaggie: Yeah, right!

Alastor: *Murmurs to himself* Wish I had something to eat while watching this show.

Charlie: Alright, guys! Calm down! Both of you!

Vaggie: *Breathes in and out* Alright. Thank you for your gifts, Angel, but now please go away or I might use the knife.

Angel: Won't I get a hug?

Vaggie: *Glares with the look that could kill*

Angel: Alright, just checking.

Angel went back to his seat while Vaggie drank a cup of water to calm herself down. She sighs and takes out small gift bag and a medium sized box.

Vaggie: Okay, so I'll cut to the chase. I got Alastor.

Alator: Oh? How delightful!

Vaggie moved to Alastor who wasn't sitting that far from her, right to the right of Charlie. She gave him the presents which Alastor took with great interest in his eyes.

Vaggie: I did not really know what you like, so I had to improvise.

Alastor: Well, let us see how you did.

Alastor decided to open the bag first. Inside he found a can of an expensive brand of coffee and a pack of dried venison strips. He raised an eyebrow out of surprise that Vaggie noticed his food preferences. Then he moved on to the box.

Inside it, Alastor found a true replica of 1920's small radio. If he was surprised before, now you could triple it! He didn't expect to see these outside of his room or radio station.

Alastor: Well, my dear, we can conclude that you succeeded. These are great!

Vaggie: But you haven't seen it fully.

Alastor: Oh?

Vaggie turned the radio on and it played a jazz song that Alastor recognized was from his teenage years. She turned the dial to another station and it played the blues which were popular right before his death.

Vaggie: Try it yourself.

Intrigued, Alastor turned the dial to various stations. They all played songs from his time period, none of that nowadays junk music.

Vaggie: Charlie helped me made it. We know your feelings and opinions about music, so we made a radio that plays only your type of songs.

Alastor looked at them both. Vaggie was standing calmly, while Charlie smiled at him. He looked back to the radio.

Alastor: I like it! This is the best Christmas gift I got since my mother passed away! Thank you!

He smiled sincerely to them and both girls could see the difference between his regular smile and this one. Vaggie nodded answering with her own soft smile and returned to her seat. Alastor turned the radio for the time being and chuckled.

Alastor: Well, now I feel bad. Good one, Charlie.

Charlie: Huh?

Alastor looked at her and with a snap he teleported his presents to her. There were three boxes - large, medium and small stacked on top of each other in red wrapping paper.

Alastor: I got you.

Charlie: So you weren't lying that day?

Alastor: I'm afraid I wasn't, dear.

Charlie: And all this time you were making fun of me?

Alastor: A bit, I'll admit.

Charlie: *Shakes her head* You bastard.

Alastor: Guilty as charged. But maybe those could count as an apology?

Charlie: We'll see.

She carefully opened the first box. Inside there was a box of her favourite tea.

Charlie: *Smirks* Good start.

She then proceed to open medium box. There was a work calendar for the next year. The book was in black and white with nice lining inside. There was a matching pen to.

Alastor: I thought that you needed a new one.

Charlie: I did! Thanks, Al!

She tried to guess what could be in the biggest box but Charlie didn't expect this. There was a vinyl record of David Bowie's "Aladdin Sane" album. She gasped and started jumping happily.

Charlie: Holy shit! How did you know that I love Bowie?

Alastor: Well, I don't really know who he is but you listen to him a lot and I asked Vaggie one time who was it. She said Bowie and I decided to get you this young man's finest album. At least, that's what the guy in the music store said was his best one.

Charlie: I love it! Thank you so much!

Charlie stood up and opened her arms.

Charlie: Permission to hug you?

Alastor though for a moment and stood up.

Alastor: Well, it's Christmas, so, go ahead.

Charlie quickly hugged him around his torso, Alastor even got taken back few steps. He returned the hug very lightly. After few seconds he patted Charlie's back and let go, Charlie did the same.

Charlie: You are forgiven. But I'll remember this!

Alastor: I believe that.

Charlie: Now, how about a Christmas photo?

Everyone gathered round the hotel's main Christmas tree while Charlie used her magic to set up a camera. She even made Alastor be in the photo, threatening to only play Christmas songs everyday. Well, holiday spirit helped too. They took multiple pictures but Alastor was only in one of them because nobody made him promise to be in all of them.

After that, Charlie clapped twice and the whole table became filled with everyone's favourite Christmas dishes. The feast was held with laughs, talks and music.

Thank you for reading these 12 Christmas days! I hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing. Merry Christmas!

[thenewpathfinder2024-2034]

"I was struggling with quitting fire dept before David was killed. Thought I was finding the light at the end of the tunnel & then that train hit. Trying to find a new perspective. Lots of his side pieces came out of the woodwork. Hell I didn't know he had a wife before Cary. She's acting like they were still married same as Cary. I've had some if his side pieces of David reach out & try to be friends. No thanks. Most of his were psychotic."

I've always felt that I have to be really close to perfect to get peoples approval or love. I made straight As in high school and college, metals in the US Marine Corp,  health and safety manager at a chemical plant, special operations firefighter, professional photographer and outstanding diver, it never seemed to be enough. Everyone has always expected more. It's exhausting if im being honest. Adds SO much stress to everything I do. I guess that's a big part of why I struggle so much with selfish people in my life. 

We did have a lot of fun. I told someone about that a couple of weeks ago when we were in Fl. Friend ordered prawns & I busted out laughing. They couldn't figure out what issue was. Told the story & then hers came the same way. She sent them back. Lol. Was talking about Thailand & the bad driving by the motorcycle driver. Thailand trip. Lol that was kind of a disaster but parts were fun.  We mostly had fun. Some days/times were better than others.  Don't think it was intentional but we were either both doing well or we were doing bad hustle wise.   We had our friends separate from us. Some days that was good & others it wasn't. We were either all in or didn't give a shit. I felt like I cared when I shouldn't have & im sure you felt the same some times. I will even admit that at one point I thought we would make a good family.  Then realized you weren't leaving the guys you found for confidants. Think that was my lightbulb moment that I should have moved on. I didn't which made me want to kick myself years later. I always hang on too long hoping that I can do something to make a change. What a dumbass!!!

That was how I felt originally but then we did a lot like a family over the years. It changed what I wanted. Some things happened & made me feel stupid for thinking that could ever be possible. I'm not a prince, fairytales don't come true. Communication was ALWAYS our problem!!!! We assumed we knew what the other wanted too much instead of asking. I'm not the same person I used to be. Learned some Really hard lessons along the way.  None I care to repeat. I honestly wondered some days what you were doing. Couldn't understand what you were trying to prove & to whom. Figured it wasn't my battle to fight so quit. I live in today. The past wasn't kind to me & tomorrow isn't promised. I make alot of plans b/c that typically leads to me doing almost everything spur of the moment. 

I finally have a great retirement. Probably something I should work on more but another complication. Everything I had invested I saved by movinb it in time. I will leave a big boy job with benefits less than a year. Until then who knows. There have been many horrible things said over the years by both of us. Just know that in all of our time together that I never cheated on you, entertained anyone else, I appreciated the things you did for me & I truly loved you. Despite all that has been said & what you thought or still think is true, that is the truth. I acted bullet proof. You were either in Go mode, or Sex mode. Seemed to be very little of in between. A lot of the time I felt like you were only with me when it was convenient. We would make plans & something better would come along so you left me hanging. I will never forget we had come home from work, showered, played & then went to sleep. Woke up & you had left a note that you were going to do something for a friend. You were going to come right back & didnt. Came back drunk and you said didn't know where you were at. We had had such a great morning & I was ready to pack all my shit & hit the porch. I was SO pissed I was fuming. I was at first dating a married woman who was never leaving her lifestyle. What else did I expect. I was done with you but let you come back a few days later. You said it was a miscommunication. That was probably the start of our demise. Just FYI... I always liked buttering your bread. LolI'm trying to learn to chill. My problem is when I have down time, I get in my head. NOT a good place to be. That's what happened to me this Sunmer. I wanted to be home all Summer & thought I would do a ton of cool things. Got what I wished for & liked it. Impossible travel plans came through like rain it was amazing. 

I've never been great at expressing my feelings. Makes me vulnerable. Only a few times I really fully trusted you. That's a big part of why I didn't share b/c I didn't want things to change. Anger, frustration & shutting down was b/c I didn't think I could tell you how I really felt or what I wanted. I knew you had others & if I didn't say or do the right thing you would give them my time. That's the last thing I wanted. You have to remember that i don't recall you asking either. Again too much assuming what was needed/wanted on both of our parts. I have nothing to lose now by being honest. Last time we spoke you said some really really mean things to me. Amongst those that you hated me. If you go away today & we don't speak again for several more years at least you will know how I feel for better or worse. Not saying anything to be mean or hurt your feelings b/c that's definitely not my intention. Just letting you know my perspective. You know I don't really think we ever said I love you to each other that i felt it was real from you. Nice to know hindsight. Sure would have been nice if we hadn't let our egos get in the way, huh? I did those things b/c I loved you. Wasn't big on saying my emotions then, more of showing my love. Funny I tell people all the time that I love them now. 

I don't do what I do for recognition. I do it b/c it's the right thing to do. These days that's few & far between. I was raised by some damn heathens but I was taught to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I would want others to help me if I was in the same situation. Luckily I've never needed much help b/c I can honestly say probably 90% of people I've helped wouldn't lift a finger. That's ok b/c I never expect anything in return. 

I come out on the other side of my problems doing well b/c there is no other option for me. I have no one to rely on. Nobody is going to do it for me except me. That is the realization I live with everyday!!! Sad state of affairs if I do say so myself. I love it due to the fact that I have honestly, responsibility, and accountability. 

Happiness & Joy sound great. I hope you succeed.. Many lessons learned on both sides. I'm glad you reached out. I'm quite content with having lunch or a drink if both schedules match but understand there will be walls & Armour as you like to call it. Nothing personal just protective. You really were my safe space sometimes but still felt judged a lot for not having my shit together too. I was just thinking while I was on the phone that I must have not thought you were being genuine. Or we weren't in a good place when you said you loved me. You used to do extra stuff to make up for when you had stood me up or acted crazy. Maybe it was one of those times. As a general rule a year or so into us I would have been over the moon. But the first of many "just friends" off of tender was the last of us honestly.

[rambleswhatsthepoint]

02/13/2023

ugh i’ve been in a deep dark hole again because of work.  it will be 17 years here in May, so i should know better.  i’ve been focused on trying to find a new job again and this time, it’s going to happen damn it.

i’ve talked to quite a few people about this already as i was flaming pissed, so it feels redundant to write it out here, but fuck it, i’ll want to remember the straw that broke the camel’s back later.

it was my Monday meeting with my boss last week.  he proceeds to tell me of a wonderful idea he’s had that will really help out my team.  effectively moving off a third of my staff and their responsibilities under another dept.  and he’s already decided, he’s not asking me for feedback.  then like 30 minutes later on our internal group management call, he proceeds to announce this wonderful plan of his to the group.  there i was totally blindsided and not even given a day to digest.  i was so flaming pissed as it was just utterly disrespectful to make such a huge change about MY team without any discussion with me.

oh i’m sure he discussed it with the bitch who runs the other team.  she’d love to take my job.  she wanted my job.  and i’m sure it has to do with the fact that his wife who works part time for my team is part of the people that would move over to report to the other dept cause they’re just fucking besties.

nepotism and favoritism and manipulation.  that’s all there is here.  and you don’t get rewarded for working harder so what’s the point?  and i’ve KNOWN THIS for so long, just was willing to move with the system.

so he knows i’m pissed.  on the mgmt call i didn’t say a fucking word when he asked for thoughts/feedback.  i didn’t even say good bye at the end of the call.  we don’t talk much the rest of the week, partially because he travels to a client visit.  

so then today rolls around, it’s our monday meeting again.  that pushover speaks about anything else under the sun for 40 minutes.  i’m the one that has to bring up the elephant in the room.  so i mention that i brought it up with my management layer because i didn’t want them to be blindsided like me.  (nothing).  ask for a meeting for him to talk them through it and share a spreadsheet with questions and notes with him.  he begins to start a story to compliment how great my team is again and i just cut him off.  i said “i don’t need to hear this again” with my super dead voice.   no emotion whatsover cause i don’t give a fuck.   and he stops and apologizes and says he’s sorry if he sounds like he’s just pandering to me.  says yes it’s a great idea to have the meeting to get feedback and buy in.  then in my dead voice again i say “well that’s kind of ironic that you say you want feedback and buy in NOW.”   again not a fucking thing to say.

then 30 minutes later we have another call with our projects group.  speedy called me afterwards  to say i must have broken a record with all my “fuck”s used in the meeting.  i thought that was kind of funny as i didn’t even notice as i don’t even care.  i don’t fucking know and i don’t fucking care.

i need to get out.  i was toying with the idea of just telling my boss hey i fucking hate this place i’m quitting.  but no, i want it to be a surprise.  two weeks notice, 3 if possible and fuck you i’m out.   i don’t even care if i end up getting a contract position (vs. direct hire) somewhere else.  anything is better than staying here.

and i’m never coming back, unlike that stupid bitch who can’t survive anywhere else except where her bestie is boss and she can manipulate the shit out of him.  where sisters and wives and daughters and sister in laws and sons all get jobs and can do whatever the fuck they want.

fuck. i hate them and hope i can find something new soon.  i don’t want to think of anything long term.

then on top of our internal work bullshit, there was external work bullshit with a stupid ass sales person trying to look like a hero when he is just a know nothing douche.  but that was worked through by thursday.

i’m so behind on things and i don’t even care.  morale on my team of the mgmt level at least has taken a huge dump.  yet they don’t hear it in my voice that i’m fucking sick of it and am trying to leave them.  i don’t think they can conceive of it.  i do love my team and what we’ve built and how well WE work together.  it’s all the meddling bitches that are just ruining it.  and i cannot stay.  it’s all of our choices to put up with the bullshit.  we are NOT a family.  we don’t owe our job ANYTHING.  it’s a CHOICE.  a choice for them to treat us like shit.  a choice for us to stay and just take it.  they should hear it, because i can’t pretend, i can’t be happy, and my voice sounds DEAD because I DON’T CARE.

today just sucked all the life out of me.  though i did speak with an old friend today who has some positions at her company she could possibly hire me for so... yay for small hope there.  

[sparkofthetelling]

So, for basically the whole of 2021, I was pretty burnt out, for who knows why exactly (I'd guess a lot of it had to do with COVID isolation, etc. but yea, not great).

Per your exact questions from the comment: I did recover from it, though I took an extra year to graduate from my undergrad degree to ensure I didn't retrigger it from stress, and still very much on a rollercoaster resulting from the ramifications of it. Though, to be clear, I think a large part of that also has to do with the fact that I have a large amount of clarity about what I want to do, and unfortunately, what I want to do is the "small money" end of Big Neutrino (only way I can think to put it).

I basically couldn't do shit, passed my dept's math methods course required for upper level classes by literally three points on the final exam, never turned in homework and couldn't bring myself to do homework, etc.

For me, this was majorly exacerbated by my ADHD, which I've had diagnosed since I was like 5, and used to be medicated for. When I finally clocked it because I dropped E&M 1 because I couldn't do anything related to classwork, I tried getting a new doctor, but realized I could just go back to my old one, and got the stimulant again since I knew for sure I actually needed it now. I started taking it around the same time as I started taking Quantum Mechanics, and thankfully I attended an institution with a small physics department for undergrad, so that professor was able to be much more concerted in terms of the fact that he could recognize I was actively learning how to do homework that semester. I think the things that made me recover from it was

Getting the medication, mostly because for me, the inability to pursue the work related to learning more about my predominant special interest was hugely demoralizing, and that was fully because of uncontrollable executive dysfunction.

Just like, general support for what I needed.

Getting to use a scanning electron microscope that semester. Not that big of a thing, but really cool, reinvigorated interest in science?

I got to do some traveling for research that summer, and it being a bit lower stakes and getting to meet a ton of people did wonders in terms of like, bringing me out of that pit.

Thanks to that ADHD diagnosis when I was young, and some other stuff, I don't really mask in the same way a lot of undiagnosed autistic people really do (which makes it really funny when people just... can't clock it, as a sidenote, because I'm not really hiding anything), so I don't know how much my experience is relatable, but I'd say if you're having issues doing your work, if you've got a supportive advisor, trying to see if you can take a clean break for a bit, but not to like... stop doing something, but do something new? I hope any of this helps, I know half the battle can be information even if our experiences are quite dissimilar (because who knows if they are), but I was halfway through my undergraduate degree when it impacted me, and I know that's quite a different situation to be in to pursuing graduate education in research.

Does anyone have experience here with autistic burnout?

Upsettingly, I've been told I have it and discharged from the community mental health team. I don't know if this is something other people have experienced. They told me that I can't absorb therapy while I'm burnt out, which sounds like absolute bullshit. Idk. I'm very upset about it.

[renatedagmarmilada]

ENGLIGHTENMENT ABOUT THE THREE MILLION It is impossible to say just how often I have been put down for repeating this and yet I still have to repeat it. I needs to say-- I am totally a product of my education, both of my youth at my C of E school in Lincolnshire and of my adult return to higher EDUCATION -all of which I had thoroughly enjoyed. Once a doctor of Human Research commented that I annoyed him, (we are their lab illegal experiment and they watch us day and night since 1983- being  East European D.P's with nowhere to run) as I did not seem to be studying so was not deserving of any of my several degrees, adding that their children appeared to suffer, where as it was hardly noticeable that I studied-having had to cope with a variety of jobs at the same time- to which my comment is 'I too used to go down to the Scunthorpe Library several times a week on the pretext of studying as a teenager, merely to get out of the house and away from my victorian parents!  If I was not studying, with high marks, why is the lab robbing all my work from years of University study from my home for their children, illegitimate children, (forget all ideas you used to have about doctors), wives and friends calling me their donor, forget about copyright too!! At one stage, I had got a lot of hassle here in Sheffield, which I thought was a local mad group but was in fact St barths Human Research fringe loonies, who had been messing for some fifty years across the UK remote with private citizens, and were then beaming through St Jessops Hospital Sheffield straight into my home etc but I won't go into that just now. The Brits are mad and that is a fact, that is all I say- so I decided to move to London, erroniously thinking that with its ten million people and two million illegals, I would hardly be noticed, not aware at that stage from where the hassle was originating from, nor did I guess who they were, but coming from an east european back ground, little surprises us. Eventually, I ended up at the UEL in Barking, as the lab  had terrorised me out of each College and Uni- indeed manslaugher was the order of the day!. I was accepted only on September 5th because I promised I would take German to boost their rather empty German Dept. I really didn't want to, but they promised me English Lit. the next year - what they didn't tell me was that language grads have of necessity to spend one year abroad, familiarizing themselves with the country of their language/s. I had hoped for Bavaria, where I had lived as a child for many years. However, Bavaria is a sister College, I had to go to a sister University at my level, Leipzig University. I couldn't quite believe it-- my God, we had arrived there on my first birthday in our waggons, transported West. I would not like to describe my feelings as we crossed the border in the train. I didn't know whether to run, cry or turn and forget it all. I still have a problem, especially if I go by bus, a dreadful sinking feeling, a deep seated depression, until I get into the city. The empty flatlands-- so now I fly. Fortunately, the Ambassador of Senegals son was also on his way there, in my carriage, indeed. He reasured me: if we Africans can study there and many of us do, you'll be alright!! It was his second year there. I had an endless rota of disasters once I got there. the Uni had not got any digs for the English contingent, so we had to stay at the local hostel, with six noisy  lively teenage German girls in my room but very excellent breakfasts. the east Germans obviously believe in setting up for the day with a good breakfast.  Eventually they quartered me with a family on one of those communist look-alike builds outside of the city, two sons and no father. Two thousand marks dispappeared from off my account at the Deutsche Bank. They say the English of human research had asked them to put on any hassle they could think of. Frau D. assured me seriously that they had given an identical card to a young Polish woman who had taken my money out of my account, so for a week or so, I lived off plums and apples, happily grown in the streets of the communist countries, (to stave off starvation?) even in car parks. Then I found a job teaching three different Kindergarten Children english, so earned my daily bread and also managed soem private lessons whilst attending every possible lecture possible. It was never returned. I moved my money to a building society and have my own thoughts about the Deutsche Bank. German Uni's are run on a different system to ours, making the attendance to many subjects possible. I attended German language, Prosa history, geography, Yiddish, Goetisch, Russian, English MA and Amerikanistik to name but a few. Cold war and Cuba for interest, because of my age, I was then in my late forties and I was interested how a communist country would explain them. The Cold war lectures were run by a guest Professor called Prf. Deutsch from Spingfield USA  He was beloved of the students - adored in fact, and often told us of his Hungarian parents, which left me smiling smuggly, -ofcourse he was loved, Hungarian same as me-- could they be anything else, I would smile at the over-socialised Germans. Even the protesting ones, protested in an orderly fashion. We watched films, that mad scientist and the young discussed as I sat at the back and watched and listened- One day we had a lecture in the hall.Prof Deutsche's lectures were always attended to sardine-tin level. I sat at the back, he revved into his topic, hundreds of young germans hanging onto his every word. Wrote onto the board: 3 million Germans died in the camps 3 million Jews and others... I sat in shock. I was afterall a product of my education in ENGLAND, believing my hosts (then) to their last syllable and had also been attending lectures at Leeds Reform Synagogue by Rabbi Rothschild. I put up my hand and declared in a firm voice: loudly: Sir, that is wrong, It is 6 million jews. No, Renate, he answered firmly, this is correct- --as the German students stared at me aghast. Then he turned to his board and added for emphasis in a loud voice- three million ordinary germans three million jews and others. Now, what had I imagined had happened to those Germans, and there were many, many, many of them, practically the whole nation (only two quarter percent had voted for him till he said he would put the French out of Germany after one hundred years and everyone woud get jobs) who objected to Hitler? In Leipzig iteself for insance, when the Nazis got in the Mayor and whole Corporation (socialists) had been sent to a concentration camp, for hard labour. We all get so hyped up, we stop bloody thinking--- I got to know Professor Deutsch quite well. and still have a book of his about the blood libel in the USA, but have lost his address. So few people in the UK know this one fact, that I get very harsh treatment for repeating it. I did check it time and again, in libararies there and in the UK and a mass of writing and the result is always the same. It is a hidden fact. 'They'say they will change the education next generation but the monuments stay up, one Israeli laughed: well, we pray for all who died-- and I agree with that whole heartedly! A USA general, Morgenstern (see my book PAPER BATTLESHIPS) one of Mcarthy's lot, had got to Dachau first, saw lots of dead bodies and asked no questions, he was the one who started all the miscalculations. He had wanted to cut Germany down to one County!He said later when the USA did a thorough check, I JUST ASSUMED!! I had less luck with the Cuba lectures -the lecturer was a young German taut as a violin string. He had taught in England, and hated the lack of discipline here and everytime I tried to answer, having lived through all of the Cuba crisis, etc. he would snarl at me: put your hand down, the young have to answer!..so I left the class! I often get the blame for what the English have done, in many places but that is another story!

[tarudce22]

I think people should be able to work 3 days a week, 6 hours at most each day and still make enough money to support them selves and be able to have a family and support them too, as well as get to have a fun trip at times, or if they get sick or injure, for a short time or a long time, still be able to live without worry

I already thought this way before my job cause of growing up with my dad who works 12+ hours a day and works 3-4 days normally but they mandatory overtime him so he could end up working the whole week all days with that 12 hour shift and its just like, so many jobs demand so much of its workers and pay them all so little, and it just makes me want to start destroying stuff, like fuck I just worked from 1pm to 10pm by myself, almost didn't get all my breaks cause i'm expected to run, what should be two departments, by myself cause its just me, I got two others that may work the same times as me but only one is a guarantee for ONE day i work, other then that im SOL on getting any help

Im just so tired, i know if i didnt have my dad & to some extent my twin to fall back on I would not be able to live off the money from this job, & you can go "your only part time" & i'll just go "Yea, but that doesnt mean i shouldnt be able to make enought to live"

[girlrandomstuff]

Leia Organa in Obi Wan Kenobi is the best thing

Okay I'm bringing this back because Leia in Kenobi has been reducted (by some fans) to “Leia and Anakin & Padme parallels” only.

When Leia in Obi Wan Kenobi has so much meaning, so much dept, so much importance than just being the rhyme of Anakin and Padme.

Her arc: Leia through all the episodes is just her taking her parents advices to the heart.

“There are many ways to lead, Leia, you just have to find yours” —Bail Organa

Then sh*t happens and Leia is dragged through this crussade with Obi Wan and she indeed finds many ways how she can become a leader and ends up adapting it into her own way of leadership.

“You get out what you put into it” —Breha Organa

In all this Leia, little by little, realize that she just needs will and effort to make a real change and help, everything else will come alone.

We can see such a beautiful arc in this 10 year old Leia Organa. She started as a little girl who doesn't know exactly what to do in general (not in a bad way, just normal doubt as anyone at any age could have), she seems a little bit conflicted about how to get to do things because she still pretty young and of course is understandable, but she ends up understanding her parents words, that she just needs to watch carefuly to what happens around and start taking steps.

Her arc in Kenobi keep beautifully proving that Leia is the best character in Star Wars.

Also this.

Her future: Bail and Breha's words being some kind of look into Leia's future and who she will become in a few years.

When Bail says “She's as important as he is” he's not overreacting, he's complete and absolubtly right, she became one of the most important members of the rebelion before and again after Bail and Breha's death, she striked the Empire down, she also mastered the force just like Luke, she was the one to bring the last (blood) Skywalker back to the light and who trained Rey and help her become the great jedi she became by the end of TROS.

When Bail tells her “you’ll probably be one of the best [senators]” again right, she became just as famous and respected senator like her father before her, she worked so hard alongside Mon Mothma to rebuild the Republic and she was one of the few to point the weakness and mistakes of it, the only one who really attacked the first order in the Senate.

When Breha says “I know who she's like” she's joking with Bail, telling him Leia is just like him, and she's quite right, because Leia is just the perfect mash up of them both, she really is just as much as Breha as she is just like Bail, she really took her leadership from both, being the one to found and fund the Resistence 30 years after the Rebelion and the Empire, being one of the strategic brains just like her father and leading with wisdom just like her mother.

Bonus: Obi Wan Kenobi saying Leia is the future of the galaxy, of the Rebelion, he was completly right

The deepening: the development of her relationship with Obi Wan is beautiful and it just adds so much depp not only to A New Hope but also to Leia naming her only son after him

[kaoticshiba]

Ok yea hi @mojo-chojo wanted me to do my part of my ocs so here it is. Feel free to share this later on ~

Anyway so first off we have Isaiah Wigram. I don't think you've drawn him as much as Marcellus but I guessed I'd still tell a lil about him.

Oh and PS Mojo you forgot to start the info on the twins that they are yk OCs belonging in the Bloodborne universe ( Bloodborne being a From Software game about a 18 century place named Yharnam being infected by beasts and you as a hunter trying to figure out why. The whole game is centered about blood and lovecraftian gods named " the great ones ". )

So Isaiah was a boy who lived with his mother and his sister since he was young. He lived far away and outside of Yharnam. His father left when he was young and his mother fell ill sook after and so he learned to take care and help of his family soon. He was very attached to his mother and even more to his sister Liliana aka Lily who was quite a few years younger.

Trough the years his mother had gotten worse and was weaker so a lot of stuff was done by him around the house. One night though blood drunk and aggressive, probably insane by now , men from nearby village came into his house and did unspeakable things to his family, killed his family and almost killed him. Wigram got his neck sliced open but managed to get away and ran away as fast as possible. He heard rumors of the city south. That it would treat anyone and any ailment, so he ran and ran until he got there and passed out on the doorstep of the Yharnam church.

Yharnam church took him and treated him , and it was the only reason he survived after but in return he had to become a hunter for the church to " pay off his dept ". And so he became an outsider who was a hunter and later to be found out to he the " moon" hunter who goes to the hunters dream and cannot really die as long as he is connected to the hunters dream as he will always just revive there. Trough the time.passing he starts to learn that there's something really wrong and he wants to uncover the secrets of the church. Eventually he also becomes more addicted to blood and beast palletes so he ends up having a lot of internal struggle with part of the beasthood wanting to take over.

That's the main plot at least.

This is all based more in what the general game talks about. I made him as the outsider character that you're supposed to play as in game.

From there I've created several " butterfly effect " AU's or side aus. I have a specific story of what wigrams life would be in game with just in-game characters and then seperate aus of what if he met hunters like Crow and Raven. I hope that makes sense.

With Crow and Raven he starts working later on as he has nowhere to go and noone to rely on and Yharnam people aren't the nicest to outsiders since the church blamed the plague that rid the city because of outsiders.

Yet Crow and Raven take him in and after a while stray to trust him to hunt with him more. Wigram doesn't trust them fast at all though and even up to a year never shows his face. He keeps his face covered as he wants to keep his identity secret and he knows his face shows a lot of emotion, so to hide it he does so.

In addition , once becoming a hunter, he doesn't introduce himself as Isaiah, but only Wigram. Never explaining why until later.

"The man named Isaiah died, the day I became a hunter"

Then I haven't really developed anything concrete with mojo what he and the twins do or are like as we always just end up making silly moments but I can say Wigram cannot stand people close to his face as the 3-4 years of hunting with no contact with any living soul, made him even more flustered of any contact than before. He has a big heart though and once he gets attached to anyone would protect them with his life.

If I could describe him with anything it would have to be the " lonely wolf " sort of type or like a " abandoned dog " stereotype.

He's also somewhere in his early or mid 20s btw.

Alrighty, enough about him, now the next one is Marcellus, who Mojo thirsts over far more than Wigram.

This is Marcellus Magrath Wright and he was the second character I created after I got more acquainted with the lore of the game.

He is no hunter, but he is a Mensis scholar. In the game itself the mensis school was meant to study the great ones and tried to ascend to a higher plane with means of " opening their eyes " metaphorically speaking for opening your mind with the help of knowing or knowledge gathered from supposed great ones. That whole school was governed by Headmaster Micolash , which has no specific place in Marcellus ' story but he does show up in game and is the crazy example of what mensis did.

Marcellus was born from a wealthy , even rich family of scholars. His father was a scholar and he pushed him to be one as well. Marcellus of course wanted to be a scholar so there was no need to force him but his father had diffrent views. His father had many issues and he was not exactly sane either. Being obsessed with the idea of ascension and creating the perfect son to " ascend " he tortured Marcellus all the way trough his childhood and teenage years to " prepare his body for it ". The man claimed that the body was nothing more but a vessel to help you ascend and put Marcellus trough a lot or abuse for it.

Marcellus' mother on the other hand was very passive. She did try to stop the man when he was small but trough the years stopped as she was scared of him and because she was becoming blind and probably also had dementia.

Marcellus hated his father but assumed what he had to go trough was a necessary step and whatever his father said ended up being something Ingraved in his brain. He attended mensis as soon as possible and stayed in their dorms instead of coming home. During the years or studying, his father was one day found dead on his writing desk, bleeding all over the research papers he had. Noone knew if it was something he did himself or something else but Marcellus didn't feel sad. If anything he felt guilty that he didn't feel sad or mourn after him.

Soon after his mother passed away as well. After that Marcellus started to go blind himself as he unfortunately inherited his mother's illness. He had Retinitis pigmentosa, which in non fancy terms gives you tunnel vision ( partial blindness ) but in rare instances makes you blind completely. Unfortunately for Marcellus he found out quickly that he will be fully blind if he doesn't do something. Quite honestly as a 19 or 20 year old , he didn't wanna go blind and though this was some sort of a curse from his mother or her resentment. He hated her for it as well.

One day he went home and in a manic state ended up badly grafting an eye of a great one onto his neck. He did so by continuously studying surgery and medical books and witn the help fo the churches heeling blood. It was all successful but honestly he was just EXTREMELY LUCKY.

Marcellus took Micolash's phrase " Grant us eyes " to a whole new level. Man took that literally xd

Trough the years his normal vision went completely blind but he pretended he couldn't see and pretended he had no other eye. By that stage he also became a teacher in the mensis school and by that time he replaced the old eye on his neck. He taught as a teacher for a few years and then left the school as he did not agree with some things they wanted to do anymore and he thought he could do better. In that time the school also wanted to pull off a ritual to make contact with a certian great one and that ritual ended up killing majority if not all of the school. The only one who managed to do the ritual and ended up in the other plane , now known as " Nightmare of Mensis " was Micolash. But tbh in this world he was dead so yk it depends on how you look at it.

Marcellus in those years away experimented on himself with the help of blood and great ones blood and ended up making serious progression. He believed that you didn't need only knowledge or only blood to ascend. He thought " why not both." And so for years he studied great ones and experimented on himself, grafting more eyes onto himself and injecting himself with great ones blood, making pills out of it and certian remedies to "elevate his body". And in this time you can see why what his father did to him, had consequences. He himself now believed that his holy was nothing but a vessel for him to experiemnt on.

Fun fact : Marcellus, if he isn't in his manic state, is very very bad with pain and always needs very strong anesthesia or just doesn't do it otherwise because he cannot handle it. It's funny really to see him all cut up and experimented on and then if you'd see him cut his finger or kick something by accident the man would cry and complain like a baby.

His story is less routed in the og lore character wise and his development very depends on ocs like Diana , who is @mojo-chojo FORMER Mensis Oc , who also used to date marcellus in mensis and later on meets him again as she didn't attend the ritual because she had a baby ( guess what her husband did tho and her baby was stillborn OOP , POOR LADY ).

And of course Edburt , who is a mensis scholar, who was Marcellus' teacher all the way trough mensis. Edburt belongs to @/lokifer on twitter .

Edburt also stays alive after Mensis as he was kiddnapped before the ritual happened by the choir and somehow survived.

Marcellus always had an obsession with his teacher but in school it's started out as a crush he never acted on. He was always the " teachers pet " and later on when he finds out Edburt is alive, he ends up working with him and majority of his time , lives with him to study and learn how to ascend together. All the way trough that he gets more focused on Edburt and looks at him like some sort of a " god " figure. For Marcellus , Eddie is above him, someone who taught him everything he knows today and still does. He would do absolutely anything for this man and even tho it's unhealthy, Edburt being not so sane himself and always being used and abused in his own life , likes this. However he never treats Marcellus bad. In fact he treats Marcellus really well and supports his growth and being able to ascend , he never wants to see Marcellus in pain.

I kind of did this piece to show the kind of adoration and worship he has for his former teacher and I honestly rly like it.

Later on , guess what they get together even. And I think Eddie just has the cutest pet name for Marcellus which is sweetness. The running gag in our friend group between Mojo , Lokifer and me is that they needed 20 years to get together and it's honestly a thing in every au.

Even in the band au they are friends as teens and then they barely get together in their 40s.

That's all I can think of right now rly. I'd say go check lokifer ( link on this name )on twt if you wanna see or know more of Eddie. Even more so cuz I know Mojo drew him a couple of times I just dunno If they posted any.

Oh I forgot to add again almost. Marcellus is 44.

Also some details of when exactly he added some eyes might be slightly out of place because I always get the timeline events mixed up but you get the idea.

Bonus: doodle of Wigram trying to beat the living shit out of Eddie because he was under brainwash control of a great one ( hence the purple eyes glow )

That's all I hope It helped and its also smth more about my own chars as I always said I'll write out their lore.

Would you tell us more about y'all's OCs? I wanna know who's who! What's the OC Tea?

okay well, i will need @kaoticshiba‘s help for this for his hunter Wigram and scholar Marcellus lore and in the meantime i will share about the twins Crow and Raven:

Crow is a rather calm gentleman who likes company and talking to others, valuing people and bonds more than money, because he comes from a noble family where the environment was pretty awful. He craves physical touch but he is scared to lose anyone so he tries to not get in any serious relationship. At the end of the day, he doesn't fully trust anyone and tries to not get attached to anyone. To put it simple, he's a whore. He probably slept with almost all of his friends. He once (unknowingly) made a mistake of sleeping with someone who was already married and got into a very nasty drama. Since then he is more cautious with picking who to flirt with. Because of this unfprtunate event, he stopped attending orgies just in case he doesn't get into more stupid drama. Him and Raven come from a noble family who works with the church. He is very confident and skilled in huting. When he was young he picked up on his swordsmanship faster than his twin sister Raven. Because he is skilled in swordsmanship and charming people with his talking he also tends to get away with a lot of his bullshit. According to Raven he gets away with his talking way more than he should. Even though he was the 'better' child he still had strict parents who would be very controlling. He has always been told what to do at home and obey every single thing they say so he and Raven decided to move out together and live on their own. When they just started hunting in Yharnam, Eileen took them in as disciples. *because he was always told what to do he likes to take control in bed no matter the position.

Likes: people, drinking, sex, gossiping, mayonnaise, aged meat, napping, bullying Wigram, walnuts, brie cheese Dislikes: being bossed around, stinky people, people yelling at him, raisins or any kind of dried food with similar texture (like dried tomatoes)

Despite Raven’s resting bitch face, she is not as angry as she looks. She looks like she hates everyone but in realits she just doesn't want to admit loudly she cares about the people who are close to her. Because of this she can be blunt about some stuff and not hide her opinion about others. She can also be very strict to herself or others, but mostly herself. Because during her childhood she needed more time to learn the skills Crow learnt in no time, she got constantly compared and yelled at for not being good enough. On the contrary of Crow, who wants to be finally in control for once, Raven is tired of being the responsible one and wants to think about nothing. Like Crow, she likes being in company of others and drink and maybe gossip about others, if they're not dead. When she is alone she likes to read books so she doesn't need to think about anything else. If she is left alone with her thoughts, she just wants to stop existing. Because of this she fantasizes of being eaten up by a beast so she can end it for all, or if she survives getting scolded by Eileen, so she can feel that someone cares about her. Her fantasies often include getting punished by Eileen or getting fucked by a monster on the street.

Likes: alcohol, gossip, Eileen, beasts and monsters (especially if they have tentacles or big teeth), yoghurt, Magpie's cooking, the combination of sheep cheese and apples, Dislikes: Crow's smug face, thinking about her responsibilities, the smell of mold, pickles, people who think that are superior and look down on her

i actually have other characters too but i’ll slowly introduce them so that i dont shove everything in one post

[kyyuri]

to be or not ! -yang jungwon

15 ! what are you doing here

★彡 synopsis: what happens when y/n, who is hopelessly pinning over her best friend, jungwon- gets betrayed by not one, but both of them ?! and what happens when jungwon falls for her despite all odds ?

taglist is open !

a/n:

written + smau

word count: 866 words

the day you dreaded the most finally came. the day you have to face jungwon again after that whole fiasco. you still couldn’t register why your two so called best friends would keep that away from you. were you really that untrustworthy ? truth be told, you started to realise some insecurities showing up right after that incident. all the feelings of self doubt and tossing and turning in bed did nothing but make things worst on your part. as the bell rang, signalling that it was time for you to head for your meeting during free period, heeseung stood outside the door of your classroom, waiting for your exit. he gave your hand a little squeeze before giving sunoo a nod. sometimes you wished he was still in council, it was unfortunate he is a senior and had already stepped down from his duties.

sunoo threw his arm around your shoulder as the two of you slowly made your way to the council room. taking a deep breathe outside the room, you checked the time. “you still keep him as your lockscreen ?” “h-huh…” your eyes trailed to the phone in your hands “oh.. i never realised. i guess i forgot to change after all that overwhelming incident.” sunoo did not hesitate to grab the phone out of your hand and change it to a picture of him, niki and heeseung. “there. much better.” you smiled at him, feeling reassured that your REAL friends got your back. “lets go ?” you nod at sunoo and with that, the two of you entered that hell.

jungwon smiled at your presence almost immediately, a small part of him hoping to get one back, only to be disappointed as your stares were only icy cold. “lets get this over with mr pres !” sunoo said in a cheery tone in an attempt to ease any tension in the room. “right. mr oh suggested that this year we have a fund raiser in the school. i havent thought about what kind of things we can sell yet so i was hoping we can brainstorm here ! does anyone have any ideas so far ?” the room was dead silent. it was only the first day of school, what did he expect ? “..y/n ? do you… have any ideas ?” jungwon looked at you hopefully, you were his advisor after all. “ you always have the best ideas..” he muttered softly under his breath, which went unheard by everyone but you. you dropped the pen you were holding to write notes.

jungwon gulped as he wasnt used to your cold demeanour. it was quite a surprise when your gaze softened as you offered your idea. “maybe a bake sale ? we can get the students that take culinary lessons to lend us a helping hand. if that isnt enough to raise funds, we can have a photo booth. i know a few friends that can help us out.” you eyed sunoo and he smiled, instantly knowing that you were referring to the one and only nishimura riki. “t..thats brilliant ! we can start working on that then. im going to report to mr oh at the staff room and get some paperworks. in the mean time, sunoo hyung, since youre the head of the publicity dept, ill leave you in charge of that. y/n, if you dont mind, please get the rough outline of the event done while im gone.” you simply nodded at his words, not even bothering to make eye contact with him. it irked him a little but he still carried on with his job and deployed all the depts to get to work while he gets ready to propose the idea to mr oh.

just as jungwon passed by you to make his way to the door, your phone buzzed. it was a message from heeseung. that didnt bother him a lot. what bothered him the most was when he noticed that youve changed your lockscreen. it was no longer him. his heart clenched at the sight. this was the first time youve had anyone else as your lockscreen. normally, it would be either him or a non human things or animals. “can i help you ?“ you asked jungwon, snapping him back to reality once he realised he stood by your side for far too long. “o-oh. um its nothing. nevermind.” he hastily made a bee line towards the door, leaving you confused and annoyed at the way he was acting. you drew a rough outline before looking at your phone.

jungwon smiled light heartedly after knowing that mr oh had approved of everything. once again, y/n did it again ! he thought. he whipped out his phone, hoping that he could share this good news with his lover, only to stumble on your tweet on the timeline. “heeseung.. hyung ? why is he in the stuco room…” he muttered to himself. he had to see it with his own eyes. he had long forgotten about texting yujin and started sprinting.

when he made it to the door panting, he sent heeseung a death glare. “what. are. you. doing. here. hyung ?”

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