#i honestly just need to cry it out but i wanted to draw
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hitlikehammers · 1 day ago
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(not your average) seven minutes ⏰ ♥️
or: what if Steve had been ‘playfully’ locked into a room by his drunken not-friends at that infamous Halloween party in 1984, for 💕Seven Minutes in Heaven💞!
…and no one realized Eddie Munson was already hiding inside 🫥
Steve just wants to get the fuck out of this place, this party, this fucking…bullshit life he’s found himself in. He’s not at his best, under-fucking-standadably, so when the drunk-ass Halloween masses push and shove and giggle as they lock him in an upstairs bedroom for—oh god, Seven Minutes In Heaven, what are they, goddamn twelve—he’s going to fucking scream, he— “Not quite what you were expecting behind Door Number One?” Steve spins, a little jump in it when he looks for the source of the voice which sounds familiar and then also, not, because Steve thinks he should know a voice like that, because it’s a good voice, a really good voice, it’s not too deep but it’s smooth and it’s— It’s a good voice, basically. And when he finds its owner, shadowed by the curtains in the corner, well. The leather jacket would’ve given him away if the mess of frizzy curls weren’t kind of an automatic tell: Eddie the Freak. Half-hidden as he flips a clear antique of a lighter too fucking close to the gauzy drapes and it…it does something. To Steve. It does something to Steve.
rating: t ♥️ tags: s2 era, alternate meeting, that ONE HALLOWEEN PARTY (you know which one), steve meets eddie immediately after nancy does her drunken bullshit thing, seven minutes in heaven meets truth or dare, (weirdly more effective than you’d think), first kiss(es), fluff, humor, boys being boys, climbing out of windows (like a ninja🥷), getting together (?) ♥️
again: originally a fill from @eddiemunsonbingo forever ago, and I��m only bringing it over here NOW because it’s going to have a sequel show up soon for @steddielovemonth—which I thank profusely for giving me the kick in the ass required to revisit and actually try to finish this series!
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“Oh my fucking god.”
Steve honestly doesn’t know if he’s going to start crying or throwing up quicker, like which one’s closest to the surface; keeping his balance as the shock, the jagged parts that draw blood when your heart gets crushed to shards leaving him susceptible—pathetic, fucking pathetic— to the pushing and pulling and grabbing of the throngs of trashed partygoers shoving him away from the front door, pushing harder every time he tripped up the stairs, laughing and yelling and chanting and fuck, fuck he doesn’t need this, he doesn’t want this, and he doesn’t even know what the fuck it is, just that it’s not his car, and then his house, and then his bed where he can…let it all come crashing down and not have a fucking audience, just: goddamn.
As soon as a door’s thrown open and she’s shoved to stumble hard, catch his nails to bending, bleeding against the light switch as the lock clicks behind him—well fuck.
He gets it now.
Fuck.
“Not what you were expecting behind Door Number One?”
Steve spins, a little jump in it when he looks for the source of the voice which is familiar and then, not, because Steve thinks he should know a voice like that, because it’s a good voice, a really good voice, it’s not too deep but it’s smooth and it’s—
It’s a good voice, basically.
And when he finds its owner, shadowed by the curtains in the corner, well. The leather jacket would’ve given him away if the mess of frizzy curls weren’t kind of an automatic tell: Eddie the Freak, half-hidden as he flips a clear antique of a lighter too fucking close to the gauzy drapes but…it does something.
It does something Steve doesn’t want to dwell on, the kind of thing he’s kinda been working really hard and doing pretty fucking well and not dwelling on but then…maybe like, any other night, any other hour of any other night? Steve maybe would have turned, and at least tried to force the door open; maybe he’d have pushed it down like he’s been getting real good at, almost to the point where he doesn’t even have to think about it, the thing itself or the pushing it down: in fact he’s absolutely sure he’d have done just that. Any other night. After any other fucking night.
But it’s all bullshit anyway, so like, why even bother, what does any of it even matter, Barb’s dead, blood’s on his hands apparently for a pool he doesn’t even fucking pay for, his love’s fucking nothing and the voice from the corner, hell, even the jawline the flame’s casting sharp every other second, every flip open then stealing away with every flip closed: that’s something and so, like.
Any other night. It’d be different.
But it’s this night.
“I wasn’t expecting any door except the one on the front driver’s side of my goddamn car, man,” Steve sighs and throws his weight against a dresser—plain. Really plain—kid’s room. Not too young. Boy’s room. Little brother of…fuck, Steve can’t even remember whose house they’re in.
“I can see where this would definitely count as,” Munson’s tongue runs almost contemplatively over his lips as he tips his head; “a deviation from the plan.”
Steve snorts; he means it to sound amused, because he is that. Honestly he is.
But it sounds like it get halfway there, before it nosedives a little into a half-stifled sob.
Goddamnit.
“You okay, Harrington?”
Oh. So not only is he recognizable, he’s also recognizably not fucking okay.
That’s just great.
��My girlfriend says I’m bullshit,” Steve has no fucking idea what makes him just say it, to basically a stranger at that, and fuck, no, not a stranger: this stranger, who Steve knows enough of but who Steve’s pretty sure knows too many things about him for comfort, just—he doesn’t know what makes him say it. “That loving her is bullshit.”
Actually: probably that’s it. Bullshit, versus something. Munson’s eyes stay fixed on him the whole time, even as he keeps flicking the lighter.
“Does,” Munson starts, and in his good-voice, he sounds almost, like, hesitant. Which isn’t a way Steve really associates with the guy, if he associates anything with him at all but apparently yeah, he does, because he’s absolutely certain this shit’s out of the norm: “like, not to be a dick, seriously,” yeah, yeah: this is like a gentle voice. Careful. Care…caring?
And, like…why?
“But does that mean she’s still your girlfriend?”
Oh. Pity might be why. That’s fun.
“Shit,” Steve rubs his hands over his face, fucks his hair up even more than it’s been which is possibly not even possible. “Probably not.”
Munson lets out a breath that’s almost a whistle, and looks genuinely regretful—again, why, most of the people he hangs out with would probably celebrate Steve’s suffering, so like, what the fuck—
“That sucks man,” Munson says, honest, like, really honest as he para down his…surprisingly tight jeans until he extracts a pre-roll from the front picked and holds it out in offering: “on the house.”
Steve needs that shit bad enough for it to be maybe the only thing he doesn’t question in all of this.
“Thanks,” he says as Munson holds out a light and Steve leans in; the guy smells of party sweat and too many bodies, of Kate autumn air and cheap cologne. He smells…
It’s a good smell. It matches his good voice.
“You wanna?” Steve offers on impulse after he takes a lungful and maybe a little more, maybe a little too much—greedy, needy, bullshit—and holds it back to Eddie as he breathes out slow, tries to keep it all in as long as he can but not…not in a pushing-it-down kind of way. More a making-the-most kind of way.
“Do you wanna?” Munson asks, eyes so wide, like a baby animal or something. Like a cartoon character. Steve just keeps holding the joint out to him, close enough that his lips will touch Steve’s fingers if he wants them to, and in Steve’s head he feels like he’ll call him Eddie, in his head, if his mouth brushes his skin.
It does.
Eddie it is, then.
And Steve’s real good at shoving down things like the way his heart skips and fucking jumps, runs a little—he’s good at it.
But not tonight.
“They always double the time, ‘specially when they think they’re being funny,” Steve licks his fingers where Eddie’s mouth had touched because why the fuck not, and he slides down the simple preteen dresser and leans back on the palms of his hands as he sighs out the words and the remaining smoke in his lungs, but let’s go of none of the taste he’d lapped off the skin around his knuckles. Not that. “Probably longer than that if they’re as drunk as they looked.”
“Ah,” Eddie kinda, almost, hums through the purse of his lips before he offers the smoke back Steve’s way, and if Steve makes sure his lips drag over Eddie’s fingers, what fucking of it. It does make the space between his inhale and Eddie’s willingness to say any more words out loud a long quiet pause where Steve’s pulse runs high between his collarbones but it’s…it’s not bad. And Steve kinda wants to keep that in his back pocket, for later: the thing he’s gotten so good and pushing down might not feel so goddamn bad, up near the surface where it’s still able to breathe.
Huh.
“So you’re up here on a mission,” Eddie finally says, a little choked but not like you choke on a weird drag, y’know? Different choking. Steve feels the urge to smirk and while he doesn’t give into it?
It’s definitely there.
“As far as they’re concerned,” Steve says with…Steve doesn’t know what he says it with. How he says it. How he means it.
“You don’t look drunk,” Eddie saves him from dwelling on that particular unknown, lets him course correct with a little scoff.
It also distracts him from how Eddie sits next to him. Not too close, but still pretty fucking close.
“I know my limits.” Which is why he takes back the joint without a single thought and does the maybe-too-much thing, because it feels good, and lets himself look for the taste of Eddie on the paper: salt and a tang of something and then sweetness, like fucking candy.
It’s a good taste.
“I’m probably a little drunk,” Eddie declares without sounding it at all, and taking to the eeed again without a secondly hesitation; “more like tipsy, really, if that, but still, totally not my style,” he frowns, like it really isn’t, like he’s disappointed in himself. It’s kinda…cute.
Fuck.
“I don’t touch shit at these parties but I was thirsty as fuck,” Eddie gestures with his free hand, and it’s the first time Steve’s notices how his run at glint: good hands; “haven’t eaten all day and thought I’d beat the punch spiking.”
“Aww, man,” Steve moans on Eddie’s behalf, sympathetic; “the punch is always pre-spiked.”
“Duly noted,” Eddie nods, holding the joint to Steve’s lips straight on this time, and Steve thinks nothing of breathing in without touching it himself, letting Eddie decide when to pull it back. “Point being, on an empty stomach, even one such as myself,” Eddie gestures broadly at his person with the nearly-spent smoke: “is not immune.”
Steve huffs a little laugh; he kinda wants it to be bigger but he’s feeling…soft. Nice.
Good.
“So we’ve got somewhere between seven and…” Eddie glances at his wrist as if he’s expecting a watch there; Steve wants to know if he forgot one he normally wears or if it’s all for show: “thirty minutes, by your estimation?”
“Thereabouts,” Steve shrugs. You can never really know for sure.
“You umm,” Eddie ventures after a few seconds; “you want to talk about, umm,” and he trails off, but the implication is clear.
“Not,” Steve’s saying before really thinking;“not really.” It’s actually kind of weird how much he means it, too. “I was trying to get home.”
“Drown your sorrows?” Eddie surmises, but Steve shakes his head.
“Wasn’t even gonna bother,” and his asshole father’s got the good shit, too; Steve probably could have managed a decent bit of wallowing with minimal hangover. “Just wanted to get out, clear my,” he clears his throat, though he’s not sure why, doesn’t really thing he needs it: “head.”
Then Steve turns to look at Eddie only to find Eddie already looking straight at him.
That’s…that’s something.
“Then they shoved me in here because they’re all fucking assholes,” Steve chuckles a little, does his damn best to make it clear he’s only calling the dickheads downstairs assholes; not…not Eddie.
Like it was an asshole move to shove him in here but, not because of Eddie.
Like, at all.
“And drunk off their asses,” Eddie grins, a very good grin, and Steve matches it as best he’s able because it means his comments landed okay, the right way; “swear I didn’t sell anything hard enough to be the culprit.” Steve snorts, and Eddie matches that and all the matching feels…it feels.
“It’s funny though,” Eddie comments, a little idly once the laughter’s echoed out. Steve tilts his head, all question.
“No one knew I was in here,” Eddie gestures to the whole of the not-very-big room. “It’d be one thing to prank you and shove you in here with me, ha ha,” he tosses his head back and forth and sticks out his tongue like Steve knows he’s done on the tables in the cafeteria more than once but it’s softer, here, it’s almost warm or playful and maybe a little self…deprecating? Steve thinks that’s the word but whatever the word is, Steve doesn’t love that it’s there alongside everything else.
“I mean, insulting as shit to you, so they probably wouldn’t have done that to you,” and Steve frowns because yeah, these parts are thinks he loves at all; “you’re still royalty,” and Eddie pops on an accent and bows his head and it’s not mocking like it would be in school, but.
Steve doesn’t fucking love that either.
“Fuck that,” Steve’s quick to kind of…bite out. Like, hard. “And hell, if I am fucking royalty,” he air-quotes the word because fuck it, fuck it all; “it’s not for much longer.”
Eddie settles, and watches Steve almost…careful. Like maybe he’s looking for something. Or else, he’s taking the time to really get something from whatever he does see.
It’s weird. Steve doesn’t know what to do with being looked at to be seen.
“Think I’ll be glad to be rid of it, to be honest,” Steve says, picks at the beds of his nails a little, something he’s learned from all the girls he’s dated for a few days here and there—distraction.
But he means it, he realizes that for absolute certain as soon as he says it.
“Huh,” Eddie finally says, and it’s said…like it means something.
Something maybe…good. Or like it could be. Can be.
Huh.
“Anyway, they would have thought the room was empty,” Eddie picks back up, stretches a little and oh. Oh wow, he’s got a long neck when it’s all stretched out. It’s…it looks good.
Then Eddie cuts his gaze sly toward Steve and smirks: “Who were you supposed to fucking have your seven heavenly minutes with?”
Steve rolls his eyes and smirks lazily back in Eddie’s direction.
“My hand?”
Eddie’s eyes widen a little, and they’re…they’re really close, like, either Steve didn’t notice before or they’ve gotten closer.
Eddie’s lips are…really close.
“Oh, well,” those close lips are saying, but that good voice is kinda too-soft for the tease: “don’t let me interrupt.”
Steve blinks a couple times, to make sure he heard right.
“Sorry, that was—“ Eddie starts to walk it back but once Steve’s done with his blinking?
He fucking busts out laughing. Like…the embarrassing, snorting, pitchy kind of laughter.
“Funny,” he gasps a little, waving Eddie’s concern away because it was, it was: “That was funny, man.”
Maybe Steve thinks it’s too funny. But once Eddie shifts from shocked to something more like pleasantly surprised?
It feels like it was the perfect level of funny.
“Okay,” Eddie says as his grin grows but gets ducked into his chin, as his hand fumbles for a stand of his hair like he can hide behind it, which is silly, and weird.
And…endearing. Steve wants to see what that strand of hair feels like.
Also weird. Maybe silly. Maybe too much, maybe bullshit—
“Hey,” Eddie’s leaning toward him, and if Steve thought they were close before, that was a fucking lie in comparison because holy fucking wow, is Eddie close. He’s got freckles on his nose. Steve never would have guessed. “Want me to be funny some more?” He asks, a little loud, a little too bout any and bouncy and…like he means it, like he wants to be this thing but not so much for himself, or else not just for himself, but for Steve.
No one does shit like that for Steve.
“Your eyes are too pretty to be sad.”
Steve’s eyes aren’t too fucking pretty to nearly pop out their goddamn sockets when those words register in his ears, in his brain, make his chest tight in a kinda fucking terrifying way but such a good way and Eddie looks so scared, and Eddie’s eyes are too pretty to be scared and, oh shit.
“Truth or dare?”
The question kinda just pops out, which is…not ideal but better than his eyes doing that, so: win. And Eddie’s eyes shift from scared to stunned, confused—both better options. Double win.
“What?”
Steve clears his throat this time because you genuinely fucking needs it. “Gotta do something to pass however many minutes they leave us here, don’t we?”
Because it was definitely a seven-minutes-in-heaven set up. And Steve doesn’t know how long they’ve passed so far but he wants it to be a while longer that they’ve got left and distractions, distractions to keep from dwelling—
“Truth.”
Oh. Alright.
“Just my eyes?”
That, Steve clocks right after saying it, is the exact opposite of not fucking dwelling. He feels a little sick.
But his heart’s leaping like it’s never been free of a fucking cage until this moment, so it’s confusing.
Eddie looks confused too, so on top of it: Steve’s not even alone. In being confused.
And Steve’s alone so much. This is…kinda nice.
Kinda good.
“Is it just my eyes that are too pretty?” Steve says, for clarity. And Eddie swallows so hard Steve can hear it; fuck, he swallows hard enough it has to hurt.
“No,” Eddie says, tiny and faint before he straights his spine and looks Steve straight on: intentional.
Bracing for impact.
“Truth or dare.”
Steve’s kinda tired of being daring on principle. Generally. He’s terrified of the truth but…shit.
“Truth.”
“Are you fucking with me right now?” Eddie doesn’t say it mean. But he does say it in a way Steve couldn’t have lied to him about if he wanted to even try.
He doesn’t though. Want to try.
“Literally or, like, figuratively?”
The implications of that answer hit a little belatedly and Steve feels his cheeks go read as Eddie’s breath punches straight out of his lungs:
“Jesus H. Christ—“
“No, to both,” Steve answers quick before he loses his nerve, because maybe the truth was as daring, more daring even, than anything else. “Not even a little bit. For either.”
Eddie’s throat works around words he doesn’t say for a long stretch of seconds. Steve’s heart’s in his throat so, he thinks he kinda gets the feeling.
“Truth or Dare,” he forces out. Because it’s his turn.
“Dare,” Eddie barely breathes. Steve wasn’t expecting that, but the ready response makes it clear that deep down, he was hoping.
“Give me my seven minutes.”
Eddie freezes. Coughs. Pales a little before he stumbles over words less like he’s avoiding anything and more like he’s really that unbalanced. Shocked out of sync.
“With your hand?” he asks, a little squeak in the pitch of his voice. “Like, turns my back, cover my ears?”
Steve huffs a nervous little laugh. Nervous but…undeniably fond.
“No, dipshit.” The implication is…pretty fucking clear.
“You’re heartbroken,” Eddie points out.
“Maybe less that I thought I’d be,” Steve answers honestly, surprises himself; and maybe that’s for a damn good reason, too. “You’re ‘tipsy’.”
“Increasingly less so by the goddamn second,” Eddie confesses, his eyes fixed to Steve’s lips before flickering back up, so so wide:
“Harrington,” he whispers, sounding kinda lost; “I don’t—“
“It’s fine, if you,” Steve’s quick to regroup, even though his pulse is trying to choke him—stupid, needy, idiot, too much, greedy, dumbass, fucking bullshit; “you can forget it.”
Steve would like to forget it, kinda immediately; letting himself want. Letting himself try.
“I don’t,” Eddie starts again, but Steve can’t stand it, can’t beat it: that good good voice trying to make this anything but a goddamn catastrophe.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t like, mean to,” and fuck, Steve’s not only clearly suggested some very dangerous things about himself he’s only starting to even be willing to think about coming to grips with but what about what he’s assumed, implied about Eddie, guys don’t take lightly to that shit, oh fucking hell; “I don’t, you know, like, do this,” he tries to salvage, and even he knows it’s a pathetic attempt; “like this—“
“I don’t fuck around with straight boys as a rule, see,” Eddie blurts out in a rush, color high on his cheeks; “keeps my poor squishy gay heart from bruising.”
And Eddie; oh, oh—
Those eyes are too damn pretty to look so scared.
And maybe it’s less about truth being safer than a dare, maybe both are a risk in their own way and maybe…maybe both just require that you’re brave.
Steve can try to be brave, maybe. Just this once. This one night that’s different, where he’s not pushing it all down.
“If I told you,” he says slowly, so slowly because it’s hard to fight what he knows so we’ll; “if I said I didn’t know, yet, how much of a bend there might be in my kind of…straight?” Steve frowns, brow furrowed; that came out so goddamn weird, but he makes himself look at Eddie when he asks:
“Would that change anything?”
Eddie gapes at him, a little like a fish, and Steve goes back to the beginning: he’s equally likely to start sobbing as he is likely to throw the fuck up—but Eddie blinks, and his head tilts and he reaches slow, tentative, like he doesn’t know if he’s really allowed but also like he wants to make sure Steve can cut and run before his hand meets Steve’s cheek.
He is allowed, though. He’s…Steve is pretty sure he’s fucking welcome.
“Would,” Eddie murmurs incredulously, thumbing Steve’s lower lip before he does the slow thing, leaning while leaving an out but Steve doesn’t want a goddamn out.
He moves forward in a blink and kisses Eddie with all the skill and know-how he’s woven together into making the people he kisses feel good, and he puts his whole self in, all the concentration and focus and investment he’s got to make it…great, if he can.
But then something kind of wild happens.
Because it kinda feels like Eddie is…doing the same thing. Like Eddie wants Steve to feel all those things just as big and sure.
Steve doesn’t…Steve’s never been kissed like this. Like that. Like his half of the deal isn’t just a given.
Eddie’s tongue in his mouth, though: Steve has to run on pure instinct; his partner never does that shit first.
It’s fucking amazing. And given the moans he gets, the wet sucking sounds and the panting before they reconnect again, then again: Steve’s willing to bet his instincts are pretty solid.
They finally break for more than a second and Eddie’s hands come to Steve’s chest for balance as he gasps, as his hair falls in a curtain between them and Steve’s barely got the breath in him to speak yet when he covers one of Eddie’s hands with his own and half-whispers.
“Come on,” and he’s tugging Eddie to standing, both of them a little wobbly on their feet for a second or two before Eddie stills.
“We’re locked in,” he seems to remember in real time, like the whole kissing thing—not quite seven minutes; maybe more than seven minutes; not e-fucking-nough either way—knocked reasonable thought out of him for a second, there.
“The window,” Steve’s prepared for it, leads him over with their hands still kinda just covering each other, kinda holding one another, kinda a lot of things. “I’ve been here before, we can get out,” because yeah, he knows the house even if he still doesn’t remember who it belongs to; “and you haven’t eaten,” Steve remembers that clear as day, frowning at Eddie, almost scolding him.
Eddie lights up, though. Like maybe there are things no one’s really ever thought of for Eddie, too. Like, maybe Steve wasn’t the only one finding out someone could…pay attention.
Like he was worth paying attention to.
And like…Eddie? Steve doesn’t know exactly what to do with all the things that are tied up in everything he pushes down, where they’re bubbling up and seeping from his pore or some shit, but what he does know, without a doubt?
Eddie Munson is very much worth paying attention to.
“What the hell’s even open,” Eddie says, and Steve takes a second to add it up—food, he needs food—and he grins, and like…he kinda can’t help it? He definitely doesn’t think about it before he kisses Eddie, hard and quick and more smile in it than…he kinda remembers having, or giving, like…
More than he remembers. At all.
Huh.
“Benny’s if we’re quick,” Steve breaks off and pushes the window open; “otherwise the kitchen at Casa Harrington makes a hell of a TV dinner this time of night,” he tosses a grin Eddie’s way that’s nothing like he uses on the girls, he can tell, can feel it: it’s goofy and sincere and…yeah. “Probably got like a Salisbury steak one.”
It’s Eddie who leans, quicker and more like he’s stealing it, like he’s sneaking it and jumping back quick just in case he gets caught and it’s in doing that exactly that Steve has the incredibly clear sense, amidst all the unclear shit in his chest and his brain and his everything, that he…wants to catch Eddie.
“Fancy,” Eddie grins, and oh fuck.
Oh fuck, those dimples.
“Only the best for my honored guests,” Steve pokes one of those heavenly fucking dimples and oh.
Oh.
Steve’s making sure the window won’t fall on them as them climb down when Eddie leans close, looks down, and talks really close to Steve’s ear:
“They’re a reason we didn’t bail from the get-go?”
Steve wouldn’t hide the way he shivers if he tried.
“Honestly?” Steve chuckles, light with it, maybe…and he’s not sure okay, he could be making shit up and talking out his ass but, like, maybe he’s…
Free with it. Free with it?
He looks at Eddie who’s still grinning, dimples and all.
Free’s close enough.
“I don’t know, wasn’t really thinking,” Steve admits, and then tries the brave thing one more time: “truth or dare?”
Eddie’s answer is immediate, leaned close again against Steve’s shoulder, close at his ear:
“Truth.”
“Will you be angry if I said I wasn’t mad,” Steve turns, and their lips are so close: “that I didn’t think of leaving from the start?”
“Oddly enough?” Eddie grins so near that just the motion brushes their mouths. “Not even a little bit.” Then Eddie leans closer, means to, and doesn’t run like he’s stealing anything this time when he kisses Steve like he means it.
Then he’s speaking straight against Steve’s lips: “Truth or dare?”
And fuck it; everything’s been mixed up, shattered, rebuilt, turned inside out tonight. So far it’s turning out way better than Steve could have guessed. Definitely so much better than it started.
Might as well keep running with it.
“Dare.”
Eddie grins but there’s a heat to it, but then alongside, there’s something…mischievous. And then Eddie’s bumping his head into Steve’s and murmuring close:
“You climb down first and catch my ass when I inevitably fall halfway,” he issues his challenger; “I’m uncoordinated as shit.”
And Steve was wrong before.
The kiss he gives Eddie has more smile in it than he’s ever had, or shown, or shared before; not once in his whole goddamn life.
He could get used to it.
🧡
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crushedsweets · 2 days ago
Note
Please feel free to use my ask to talk about your oc, she's neat!
Ahhh thank you!!!
I’ll be honest I don’t really know WHAT to say about her unless I’m given specific prompts … partially because I have a hard time writing for her cuz I can’t settle on a “main” universe and that messes everything up LOL
Anyhow. I think Mayhaps I’ll talk about her ghosts and how those mess with her
Being the only child on the orchard attracted a lot of ghosts to her. Most of them are slender-sick ghosts that died because of him(whether directly or indirectly by proxies or suicide).
It started off as little animal ghosts or other children playing with her or adults just watching her from a distance, standing in the tree lines and disappearing when she walked too close. She would tell her family and they’d be like “okay bonnibel head on inside” believing she was just making stuff up or had imaginary friends
It only took the next few summer before it started getting intrusive and creepy. The adult ghosts walking towards her playing outside, and she’d notice them covered in blood or having animal heads or various other Not Normal Things. It would scare the shit out of her, obviously, but because it was sort of a like… gradual increase in severity, and her family kept brushing it off as her wanting attention, she’d start keeping it to herself while still. You know . Panicking
I Imagine one summer she’d be climbing a tree, jsut having fun as a child would be, and a ghost suddenly appeared at the top of the tree trying to grab her. She falls and breaks her arm. LMAAAAOO. Comes screaming and crying on the way home . That’s one of the times her papa would go storming outside with a shotgun to find whoever tried grabbing Bonnie(setting an example for her.) but he obviously didn’t find anyone. Bonnie had a cast for the rest of summer
After she killed the woman in the forest around age 12, she got a new ghost. It’s the dark figure with the teeth and eyes I usually draw her with! That one followed her all the way to California, even when it wasn’t summer at the orchard. That’s part of the reason she didn’t go back for so long, the guilt/fear of being caught, and cuz she had a CONSTANT reminder of how awful the hauntings were. She could handle one ghost, but several ??!!
After she came back to the orchard in her late teens/early 20s, she started carrying a pistol around in her bag. Mostly because that’s when proxies start actually stalking her. She didn’t used to have proxies on her ass, but now that she’s an adult, slenderman isn’t exactly sure he still wants her roaming around. But he thinks there could be some use for that little. Um. Talent of hers. So it’s complicated
She doesn’t even keep the gun loaded though LOL she Carries bullets in case she needs to load it but she’s very freaked out that she’d accidentally shoot herself in the leg sitting down too quick. Whether it works that way or not
I honestly have no clue how I plan to end her story. Either she goes back to Cali and stays there, or she dies. Or I guess maybe she becomes like… not a proxy cuz slendy would NOT want her ass, but sort of a tool? An asset? Again, using the whole ghost ability to get information proxies might want. This would work in my AU especially cuz the proxies are always trying to ward off the paranormal in Tuscaloosa
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laika-of-the-stars · 10 months ago
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im sorry mom and dad, i know i messed up bad
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buttercupshands · 9 months ago
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wait a minute
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stop.
stop it.
#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#mha spoilers#mha 423#I didn't hate this chapter before that#but now I am#because this is just cruel level of REMEMBER THIS?????#yes. I do remember this. I rewatched and reread this arc VERY recently#so... he killed Kurogiri with a punch like the one he did in USJ and again to save Izuku#I don't care honestly.#I reread this chapter and I cried again bc I REALLY refused to believe that Kurogiri died then#but he did with a death words to Shirakumo's friends and recall of old chapters#even if people want Tenko alive I doubt that Kurogiri will ever materialize again#and I'm deadly serious when I say that this is the worst part of this chapter#I worried for Kurogiri's existence ever since it was revealed that Shirakumo is in there#but that literally took FIVE YEARS TO APPEAR AGAIN HAVING AN IMPORTANT ROLE#and he left while crumbling just like Tomura's body before Katsuki hit him#and the last thing he thought about was about protecting Tomura even though he was partly Shirakumo's dead corpse appearing more and more#even Mic now understood that it's really is him in a way ending his arc from back in Tartarus with Aizawa#and you know what's worse??? TOMURA KNOWS THIS#the way he used “...........” with Kurogiri's name while the page literally showed his black smoke disappearing was heartbreaking before#it's worse now#like... okay he's dying too and he doesn't even know if spinner is ALIVE or not and he saw Kurogiri disappear#all while protecting him from harm one last time#AND WE STILL HAVE NO FUCKING FLASHBACKS OF HIS TIME WITH TOMURA OUTSIDE OF WHAT WE HAD IN MANGA#I'm getting more and more furious by the minute HAHA#I need to find that one sketch I did way back in 2019 with them after spoilers of Kurogiri in Tartarus#I NEED SOMETHING LIKE THAT NOW AND I CAN'T DRAW#I want to just curl up and cry myself to sleep like a 13 y.o that found out the bird that she looked after died while she was sleeping#kurogiri
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arolesbianism · 5 months ago
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I wanna take a crack at making some fake screenshot graphics for my Sif Odile duo loopers au but I do not feel confident enough in my ability to mimic isat's art style and I also have a crippling fear of drawing backgrounds
#rat rambles#stars posting#I wanna make a thing for odile's parallel scene to the bathroom scene were sif forgets odile's name#but it takes place in the traps room by the wood carving tools which isn't the worst room to have to draw ig but I still dont want to#I could just take the lazy route and just sketch the scene so I can get it out of my head and I probably will#but at the same time I also should draw more stuff with backgrounds even if it makes me want to throw up and cry#but yeah the scene is basically just odile having a derealization moment while thinking abt the wooden odile carving sif made for her#just her looking at it and feeling nothing and trying to look ahead at siffrin expecting to be reminded of what it's supposed to make her#feel and just being met with the same emptyness in her chest as she can barely even recognize the person in front of her until they look#back at her and their expression shifts into a extremely concerned one#does that make sense? idk if Im explaining it well but I hope it makes sense#but yeah smth smth them becoming less real to eachother overtime much to the horror of both#also unrelated but I need to start rotating loop in this au in my head more theres so much to work with here#I have some vague ideas and thoughts but I have been too odile brained to properly elaborate on those in my head#Im honestly just glad Ive finally made an au that I can actually get invested in fleshing out#I havent rly found a good headspace to rly play around with the main cast but this is actually giving me smth to chew on#usually most thoughts I have abt isat just lead to me thinking abt my ocs lol#regardless Im having fun with this au and I hope that I can bring myself to commit to it#also Ive been trying to think of a decent name for this au and Im half tempted to call it from the top or smth but I feel like Im tempted#to call like every story I make that so Im on the fense abt it#especially since thats what Ive been planning on calling the prologue for spiraling upwards#not that I cant just do both but I wanna see if I can think of any alternatives
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dobercorgis · 2 years ago
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I did say before that I didn’t really want a dlc prequel and after playing fr I still do kind of think that. Even just thematically an epilogue seemed more fitting, but I guess not.
It did have some good parts! I think I understand N some more now (tbh I didn’t care for him in the main game) and family angst/drama is always spicy. Loved seeing Shulk and Rex again and I loved the interactions with them and their kids. Esp Shulk and Nikol just nerding out together. Also did not expect Rex to have that kind of parenting style haha. They really did go all out on the fanservice which I adored and found funny at the same time. And some of them were references to side quests or just lore which I appreciated so it wasn’t just all surface level references. Also they mentioned how Melia has been captured several times and Shulk never comments on it which is an interesting choice.
But I feel like overall it didn’t answer a lot of my questions about the main game and left me with more questions instead. Also it was much shorter than I expected. Even with the forced community padding in torna… it still feels like fr was much shorter. When I was fighting Alpha I was like this feels like a final boss but it feels like I haven’t been even playing for that long. Pacing was fine don’t get me wrong, it just felt… lacking. Also with how xc3 and to an extent fr was supposed to be the ending for the klaus trilogy, it doesn’t really feel like one? It’s not that there’s loose ends, I don’t really think there are any, it’s just that it doesn’t really feel “complete” ig and just leaves a lot of things unanswered. And while I don’t rlly like info dumps, xc does a decent job at them and is sometimes crucial for understanding the lore, and we just don’t really get one in xc3. I was kind of expecting a few scenes or maybe just a glimpse of the post-merge world of the xc3 or fr cast but didn’t get that. Which I get, but I still would’ve liked to see it.
I’m not really sure how to feel about how they handled Alvis. Man really did lose his melanin when he split but you never really see him in proper lighting so it’s not as obvious as in the art ig… Honestly with all the xc1 fanservice I expected more interactions with Shulk and A but uh nothing much happened other than Shulk calling A Alvis at the end. I get that he’s a computer and the logic behind how he became that way makes sense but it just seems so contradictory towards xc1 Alvis where he understood yes humanity shapes future with their own will, etc. Ik that part of Alvis became A but idk it’s complicated.
I saw ppl saying how Shulk and Rex overshadowed the rest of the cast when they were introduced, and I think I’m the only one that didn’t feel that way. I think the narrative just shifted course to focusing on those characters to focusing on the lore and world. And a lot of those were references to xc1 and xc2 which did give those two some more screen time since they’re one of the very few that remember those worlds. That being said, I do think Matthew is the weakest protag in the series. He just didn’t have a lot of time to shine and the story’s focus isn’t really on him. Glimmer and esp Nikol also felt lacking in the character department. They weren’t bad characters but they didn’t have much presence. At least they had connections to Rex and Shulk to work with.
The exploration was great though. Have a fully connected open world was cool, and I loved the little things you could look for like the ether, containers, relics, etc. Didn’t play X, but I think fr had the best exploration so far.
OH and the xc1 parallels! Like the zoom in on A’s eye at the end! And how you warped to the final boss similar to how you went to memory space after beating Dickson. And apparently it was intentional??? Like Alvis Alpha what are you cooking???
While the credits song isn’t my favorite, seeing scenes from all 3 games just made me feel stuff esp after seeing older Shulk and Rex. Like yes look at how they used to be, look at how they and we have come. And it was just AGH
Maybe I just need some time to sit on it, but I think it’s my least favorite dlc story so far. I think my expectations for both xc3 and fr were a bit too high which might be why I feel this way. Overall, I think I could’ve been satisfied which just watching the cutscenes or a let’s play.
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midnightsnaq · 9 days ago
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Wh.
#quiere llorar quiere llorar quiere llorar#i did cry 💔#such a silly thing to cry about honestly but#well im so upset that im so tired all the time i cant even write fics or rp#i love writing but i cant do it. i mean i can..sort of.. but my writing fucking sucks#and its so frustrating! i want to keep writing and keep being awesome at it but im so tired all the time now#im so busy its not fair i want the energy i want the time#im not upset that im taking classes and that i have to work earlier and eat healthy and lose weight and work out- im upset that im tired#i wanna write good#i wanna have energy#okay maybe i am a little upset that i have to wake up early and go to work earlier and meal prep and work out and draw and go to classes but#i have to. i want to. i need to invest in myself. i need to pursue my goals but it sucks that im tired#and i feel so guilty on top of it because i want to write well!! and give brilliant rp replies and write amazing fanfics#i wish i could do it all. i am trying. i have three unfinished fics and an active rp going on (plus two dormant ones) but my writing is shit#and i hate my writing i also hate my art!!! but i want to improve!! but i cant if im always tired#its not even burnout its just that my writing (and art) fucking suck and im mad cuz i want to be good at them and i dont want to disappoint#im disappointing ppl#shit#maybe im tired cuz somebody is trying to lose weight and eating less and not prioritizing sleep!!!#me im that somebody#i havent hanged out with my friends in a while either cuz im tired . disappointing everybody 💔#crashing out in tumblr tags#fuck ice btw
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miallurk · 1 year ago
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Damn. One thing going wrong and I'm going full mental breakdown huh.
#probably because of bottling my feelings up#honestly at this point i'm considering giving up but some people were really sweet to me and that's really been helping#and that one anon in my other blog who almost got me to cry just because they said “i love your writing”#shit i am legit tearing up#people are so nice sometimes i just. fucking hell i love when people are caring but i have feelings that are kept in a bottle from before#i was even like. in 3rd grade.#i want to keep reaching out i do#but i feel so insignificant when i do some stupid shit and. people want to talk to me. they care. and they listen.#i feel so. bad for taking up their time. surely they have something better to do than waste their time on me im a failure. i cant do anythi#g. but. they do. and that fucks me up so badly. those people do not know how much i appreciate even a brief chat.#i am starving for humanity and its connections.#i am also struggling#and living in times of war is so fucking hard when no one cares about you. it was so hard to come to terms with that i'm a war child.#a child of war. fathered by a soldier who had seen horrors of it beforehand. and who has not spoken of them despite screaming in the dead#of night. i am. having a full on breakdown huh. apparently. it's just. fucking insane. i really need to talk to someone about this. and hav#a ten hour nap preferably.#looks at crow bubbles miss detective log and hannah and my old old mutuals. i love you all still no matter how brief or insignificant our#interactions were. i love you. you mean the world to me. you made me who i am like an amateur makes a silly clay figure never meant for muc#it is so hard to go on with old memories as bugs in my brain#this.. started as a drawing program error vent and became me pouring my feelings here. same as always ig.#i love you humanity i love you reaching out i love you desire to care and ve cared about i love you yearning i love you helping without a#need to ask i love you human emotions i love you people#it feels like i'm not one myself honestly. humans are so.. so horrifyingly endearing to me i am suffocating with unspoken love#fucking my love is mine all mine and poison and ghosting and oleander fuck you songs you make me emotional too. humans are so humans.
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foldingfittedsheets · 9 months ago
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The location of the sex shop I worked was a haven for spiders. We had tall ceilings and skylights and unused storage rooms. It was a spider paradise. We quickly sussed out which coworkers to call on in case of emergency. The Dorito lady was a solid ally for spiders but absolutely petrified of moths.
But there’s actually a hierarchy of fear. Most people don’t realize. The person least afraid is the one forced to deal with the bug in question. If coworker B was scared, but coworker A was petrified, well coworker B was gonna have to screw their courage to the sticking place because by the law of fear they were the most competent person on scene.
Thus enters Rick. Rick first appeared in the back storage room. This room doubled as a second bathroom so we went in on a semi frequent basis. The girl who’d gone in to pee shot out again gibbering with fear about the biggest spider she’d ever seen had just run across her boot.
We sicced Dorito lady on it. She returned, shaking her head. “He was squatting on a power cord where it plugs in. I couldn’t get a clean shot at Rick.”
“Rick?”
She shrugged. “Spiders that big need a name. Seemed like a Rick.”
Rick, freshly named, became a store menace. I’d normally say this was probably a case of multiple spiders being mistaken for one but everyone who encountered him swore up and down there could be no mistake. This spider was massive, fast, and distinct. A gladiator among arachnids.
I never encountered Rick. His exploits grew in the telling but the theme was consistent: no one could kill him. He’d hunker in places that no one could reach and dart away when a strike missed. He also chased off the more faint hearted, charging them in bold dashes. There could be no benign cup transplant to remove Rick from the premise. He was not leaving.
The saga of Rick continued for two months. Not seeing him was almost worse, a fearful wariness when going to the bathroom or stepping into quieter areas. I waited with dread, hoping my eventual run in would have me on shift with Dorito lady to protect me.
It was not to be. There was a girl the same who hated my one moment of singing that was absolute piss-herself scared of spiders. She’d slam straight into a panic attack and couldn’t think or speak. And so it was that one night on shift, I heard her scream.
It was unmistakable. I was in the front window turning off the open sign. Through an obstacle course of mannequins and lingerie I performed an acrobatic sprint out of the window, darting up to find her quivering at the front counter, fully crying. I radiated calm at her and said, “Just point.”
I knew it was Rick. Our destinies were intertwined and we had always been pulled toward the inexorable battle that was drawing nigh.
Her hand raised to point to our sandwich board sign at the front of the store. So Rick had the metaphorical high ground. There was no quick easy strike on the slanted signs surface.
I armed myself and marched into battle, my knuckles white on my chosen weapon. I would do this, because I must. Because there was no one else. And because I wanted to close and go home.
I saw Rick immediately and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger spider since. Outside of a tarantula, he was truly the most massive spider I’ve ever beheld outside a zoo enclosure or terrarium.
We regarded each other. Rick launched off the sign toward me and I stomped my foot reflexively, making him pause in his charge. Then I raised my weapon. Anything else, I believe Rick could have evaded. He’d bested most of the store thus far. But I had chosen chemical warfare.
I doused the shit out of that spider with cleaning spray, stunning him with a barrage of chemicals. While he froze, choking on the unexpected deluge, I dropped a paper towel over him. My foot came down.
I felt his exoskeleton crunch and I can feel it still to this day. The shattering was as of bones and I truly mourned that we had been forced into senseless war. If only he has cleaved tighter to the shadows. If only he’d crawled willing into a cup for relocation. I released a full body shudder of horror, fear, and adrenaline as I stepped back.
I took several quivering breaths. I donned a veneer of calm and tidied the battlefield of it’s corpse then went to reassure my coworker that all was well, while internally I still shook.
You fought well, Rick. I hope you sired many more monstrous children to haunt retail workers in the years to come. Rest in valor, you monster.
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sturnsluttz · 5 months ago
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Let me~Chris Sturniolo ꣑ৎ
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SUMMARY: After a shitty day all you want is your boyfriend Chris who’s wants nothing more than to make you feel better, especially if that means softly fucking you till you can’t move.
WARNINGS: Soft dom Chris x sub fem reader, established relationship, smut, p in v, fingering, oral-fem receiving, slow sex, gentle Chris, slight overstimulation, unprotected sex (wrap it plz), aftercare
A/N: enjoy xx
You sat lazily across your bed, drained from an equally horrific morning, day at work and drive home. You had stained your last white work top, rushing out the door, been screamed at by your boss and when you thought the bad luck was over you nearly got rear ended on your way home.
As soon as you had arrived home all you wanted to do was cry your eyes out then call your boyfriend, Chris. You didn’t expect him to come over but you just wanted to hear his voice. Attempting to call and not cry you picked up the phone laying by your side, clicked his contact and it began ringing. You caught a faint glimpse of your reflection on the screen, Jesus, you looked rough. Quickly sniffing and wiping away the faint mascara stains off your face you recollected yourself before he answered.
“Hey ma” Chris talked through the phone enthusiastically, “Hey Chris” you responded, smiling to yourself at the goofy nickname. Chris sensed your dull tone immediately questioning if you were ok. “I had a really rough day, I didn’t mean to bother you, just wanted to hear your voice” you honestly admitted, “aww y/n I’m sorry, I’ll be right over, do you need anything while I’m omw?”
“Chris it’s ok you don’t have-“ you were cut off “No y/n tooo late, I’m leaving now” you giggled at his sassy response, “thanks” you huffed, “course ma”.
It wasn’t long before you heard a knock on your front door, you were too physically drained…and comfy to get up and open the door so you texted Chris to let himself up, but by the sounds of it he was already doing just that.
A glint of light hit you as your door was slowly cracked open. Standing there was Chris, with a sympathetic smile on his face, “hey y/n”. You didn’t know why, you were happy he was here but you began to feel that hot burning sensation in your eyes as a tear dripped down your now lowered face. “Shh sh it’s ok, I’m here” Chris spoke dropping his bag (presumably to stay the night) at the door and rushing to wrap his arms around you. He sat cradling you as you cried pathetically into his chest, squeezing him tight.
Chris held your shoulders lightly prying you away from him so he could see your face. You dropped your head to look at your twiddling thumbs, not wanting him to see you in such a state. “Hey baby, look at me” Chris spoke, lifting you head to look at him. You sniffled not even wanting to imagine how horrific you looked right now. “There’s my girl” Chris responded smiling at you, wiping away your tears and dripping snot shamelessly.
“Can you let me look after you ma?” Chris spoke softly, you nodded confused on what that ment but grateful nonetheless. He moved carefully from your comforting side, directing you to lay down. He adjusted around you comfortably laying next to you, drawing circles on your arm with his finger. Before you nearly nodded off to sleep at the calming sensation you felt a hand tap your hip, your gaze shooting down to meet his, “Can I take these off and make you feel good baby?” Chris said gesturing to your shorts with his eyes. You nodded back at him, helping him pull them down as he threw them lightly to the floor.
Chris stared in awe at your pink lace panties, toying with the waistband he glanced at you for permission and with a nod of your head they joined the pile on the floor. “So pretty” Chris praised, lowering himself between your legs, opening them. Your breath hitched at his new position squeezing your legs back together “it’s ok baby, let me see how wet you are for me”, you felt Chris’s breath on your thighs as he spoke sent light shivers up your spine. “Relax y/n, let me make you feel good” Chris whispered, reverting your legs back to their previous open position.
“Please” you muttered, your cheeks turning a dark shade of red, snapping Chris out of his admiration trance. “Of course baby” he responded placing a hand on your thigh. Chris inched closer to your heat, without warning placing a small kitten lick across your folds “mhm Chris” you whimpered at his touch somehow already sensitive. “I know baby, I know” Chris continued, licking up and down your slick, stopping to give a gentle kiss to your clit. He paused before carefully running a finger against your cunt “can I” he questioned before going any further. “Mm yes” you panted out, desperate for more of his touch.
Chris knew the control he had over you, he knew he could rail you to pieces if he wanted too. But he didn’t, he cared. All Chris wanted in that very moment was to take care of you. You felt his finger delicately enter you, your back arching him further into you. Strangled whimpers left your mouth as he began to pump his finger in and out of you. “Mfm-fuck—Chris” you moaned as he moved, “Mmore—please” you muttered. Granting your wish he added a second finger, his angel blue eyes locked on your contorted face as he continued pumping into you.
“Mm-Chris—Ddont stop” you chocked out, “I’m close”. His free hand lay holding your waist, the other still thrusting into your dripping pussy. “I won’t baby” Chris answered, and without slowing the pace of his fingers his tounge joined his fingers licking circles around your clit. Sweat beaded at your forehead as you felt your orgasm burn inside you, and without warning the knot snapped with a loud moan. Chris slowed his movements helping you ride out your high. Detaching his tongue from your swollen clit.
His face moved to meet yours, slowly pulling his fingers out of you in the process. His hands moved to hold either side of your face, kissing your lips. You could feel your own cum still on his fingers as they moved back down to reach under your shirt, squeezing your tits lightly. “Chris, I” you began “yeah” he replied, his eyes never leaving your face as he continued caressing your boobs. “I want you—“ you paused, “inside of me, not just your fingers” a light grin crept across his face as you spoke, “are u sure ma? I don’t wanna overstimulate you” he responded, care in every word. “I-im sure, I need you” you continued, your stomach fluttering with embarrassment.
Only second had passed before Chris’s pants and boxers grew the pile of the floor. He held himself over you while he pumped his length in his hand. Warm precum dripped onto your stomach before you felt his tip graze against your puffy folds. “You ready sweetheart?” Chris questioned, you nodded frantically as a reply, feeling his tip push into you. Your hands shot up to hold his waist for support, your nails digging into his soft pail skin “Mhmp—sorry” you apologised as the little red indents you left became visible “don’t be, I’ve got you” Chris whispered back. You felt his dick sink further into you, your insides stinging as you adjusted to him. “I’m halfway baby, you talk to me—tell me when you want more” Chris assured, so careful not to hurt you, “now” you exhaled while giving a light nod.
Chris finally bottomed out, his tip kissing your cervix “tell me when I can move baby” Chris says holding painfully still as his dick throbbed inside you. “Mfmm-uh-n—now” you whimpered back to him. Chris granted your wish as he began carefully thrusting in and out of you.
It wasn’t long before your pussy started to ache from overstimulation. Your previous organs hit you so fast and Chris’s dick was already inside you giving you no time to recover. You squirmed under him, his thrusts slowly rocking you back and forth. His speed picked up likely to chase his own orgasm, “C-Chris—mhm-sensitive rem-member” you reminded “sorry baby” his hips immediately slowed “your pussy just-uh-squezin me so—t-tight”
His thrusts continued at a much slower pace as your orgasm began to rebuild. Your pussy aching around him. “Mm-im c-close” you moaned. “Let it out gorgeous” Chris responded, and with that your orgasm hit you with a painfully guttural moan. A tear ran down your cheek as you tried to recover, Chris still thrusting deep inside of you.
“Mhmpf—C-Chris!” “T-too much” you cried, your thighs shaking from overstimulation. “I know ma-I-im sorry” Chris moaned into the crook of your neck, making your brain go fuzzy. “I’m so c-close I promise” he continued, you only whimpered in response before your insides were filled with that warm sticky sensation.
Chris panted loudly, trying to regain his composure “im so sorry baby” he spoke, his dick still holding his release inside of you. “You ok?” He asked, obviously concerned, you nodded tiredly in response as he let out a sigh of relief.
He pulled out of you, making you wince from overstimulation-him immediately apologising. The white liquid began to leak from your pussy onto your bed, “shit sorry ma, I’ll clean that up” Chris spoke. He stood up from the bed pulling his sweats back on, leaving to go get a towel.
A minute or two passed before Chris was back, with a wash cloth in hand. You attempted to get up but the shake in your now jelly legs prevented you. “Here, I gotcha” Chris chuckled, picking you up and carrying you to the bathroom. He sat you carefully on the edge of the cold bench, wetting the cloth with warm water. Chris leaned between your legs, your core still throbbing “im just gonna clean you up baby, I’ll be gentle” he spoke softly. You felt him wipe your thigh lightly, you shivering at his touch “too cold?” He questioned “no-it’s fine, thank you Chris” you assured him as he continued to clean you up.
You returned to your spot in his arms as he carried you back to your room, dressing you in your favourite pjs. “Chris why is there a white stain on my favourite sheets” you questioned looking at your bed, “whoops” Chris replied, a guilty look painted on his face which made you laugh. “This what happens when I let you look after me? You giggled at him, “maybe” he replied.
LMK IF YALL LIKE THISSSSSS-it’s also not proofread so sorry if there are any mistakes😚😚
-ari xx
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Divider creds: @bernardsbendystraws
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mapis-putellas · 7 days ago
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𝑴𝒊𝒔𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅/𝑨.𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒔
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This didn’t come out as good as I wanted, so I apologise <3
Alexia didn’t like it when you gave her the silent treatment. She liked it even less when you wouldn’t tell her why. You’d been ignoring her since the second she got back from training, and that had been nearly two hours ago. There had been no greeting at the front door. No hug. Not even a kiss. You had barely even acknowledged her existence, and Alexia had no idea why.
She wracked her mind as she showered, trying to figure out if there was an important date she’d missed or if today had any particular significance. But there was nothing. It was just a regular Tuesday. As far as she knew, today held no importance to you and it certainly held no importance to her. So what was going on?
Her mind ran through every possible scenario as she got out of the shower and changed, slipping into one of your hoodies in an effort to feel a little closer to you. You were fine this morning. You’d woken up together, as usual. You’d been intimate, you’d showered, and then you’d cooked breakfast before she’d left for training and you’d left for work.
That was about as perfect as a morning together could get, so it had to have been something that happened after, right? But how was she supposed to know that for sure when you wouldn’t talk to her? How was she to blame for that when she hadn’t even been there?
The thing was, both you and Alexia thrived on communication. Neither of you liked being upset with the other, and it was often you who believed in talking through everything. Even when things were hard. Even when things were uncomfortable.
It was why you so rarely argued or fought. You always talked it out. So what was different now? Why wouldn’t you talk to her?
She came to a stop in the living room threshold, brushing a wet strand of hair out of her face as before tucking her hands into the pockets of her -your- hoodie. You were on the couch, curled up beneath a blanket watching tv. From the angle the couch was placed, Alexia knew you knew she was there, and she silently pleaded for you to look her way. To acknowledge her. But you don’t. You continue staring at the tv, even as Alexia made her way over and sat down on the couch a couple feet away from you.
She reached out, tentatively brushing her fingers lightly against your ankle, hoping to draw your attention, but you only pulled your leg away. She tried to pretend it didn’t sting. She swallowed heavily as she exhaled through her nose, pulling her hand back, trying to ignore the way her vision became blurry as she stared at the tv. Her hands, resting on her thighs, trembled slightly as she toyed with the cuffs of the hoodie. She chanced a glance at you, but you were still looking at the tv.
Alexia blinked then, and a single tear fell down her cheek, tickling her skin in its wake. It dripped past her jawline and into her hoodie, slightly marking the material. Another followed shortly after. Then another. And another, until she was silently crying. She didn’t wipe them away, not wanting to draw attention to herself. She didn’t want you to finally acknowledge her just because she was crying. Pity was the last thing she needed.
Eventually, she had no choice but to sniffle slightly so her nose didn’t start running, and from the corner of her eye, she see’s your head whip around to face her at an almost comical speed. A part of her wanted to meet your eyes, because finally, finally she was getting the acknowledgement she’d been wanting since she’d gotten home. But she couldn’t quite bring herself to do so, because quite honestly, she was scared of what she’d see.
She heard you sigh lightly as you shoved the blanket off of your legs, tossing it to the side before crawling over to her. Her eyes remained stubbornly glued to the tv as she felt your body press lightly against her own, your head resting against her shoulder. She sniffled again, hesitating for just a second before she leaned her head against your own.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, turning your head slightly to press a kiss to her arm.
Alexia nodded, honestly not quite sure what she was supposed to say.
You sighed again, eyes closing for a brief moment. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Ale. It’s just…a bad day.”
“You ignore me because you have a bad day?” Alexia whispered, and you hated the sound of hurt that lingered in her voice. You swallowed thickly as you wrapped your arm around her waist, internally grateful when she didn’t pull away.
“I’m sorry,” you said again. “Really. I’m sorry. It’s just…misplaced anger, I guess. I’m not mad at you, but you were just…there.”
Alexia was silent for a second. “Why are you angry?” She whispered.
You shrugged. “I don’t know.” You admit. “I’ve just…felt wrong all day.”
“I don’t understand.” You felt her shift beneath you slightly, and you look down to see her fisting the sleeves of her hoodie in her hands.
“I know,” you murmured, the guilt in your stomach amplifying by a thousand. You placed your hand over her own, squeezing softly. “I don’t either. Not really. But I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored you.”
“No,” she whispered, voice breaking. “You shouldn’t.” You look up at her just in time to see a couple of tears stream down her cheeks.
“What can I do, Ale?” You reached up to wipe them away, the pad of your thumb now trailing over the damp skin of her cheek. You pretend it didn’t kill you a little inside when she pulled away from your touch.
She looked hesitantly down at you, almost as though she was checking for a reaction. “I do not know.” She admitted.
You nodded, bottom lip trapped softly between your teeth as a somewhat uncomfortable silent settled over you both. You shifted a little against her shoulder, but neither of you pulled away from each other. In fact, you tightened your hold around her waist, terrified she’d push you away even though you probably deserved it.
“I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” You assured after a few quiet moments, and though Alexia didn’t say anything, you do feel her nod, her cheek brushing the top of your head.
The rest of the afternoon passed pretty uneventfully. Alexia was quiet, to no fault of her own, and you tried your best to be extra attentive despite your still souring mood. You let her put on the football without complaint despite the fact you’d rather watch anything else. (You liked watching her play in person, sure, because it was Alexia and you loved watching her in her element no matter what it was she was doing, but watching it at home with people you couldn’t care less about? Less fun, but you kept your mouth shut.)
You made her favourite dinner, something you didn’t do too often considering the time it took and the extensive clean up process afterwards.
By the time bedtime rolled around, things were less…tense so to speak. Alexia was still quiet, but she leaned into your affection and actually laughed at the jokes you were trying to make as opposed to humouring you with a fake smile. You could tell she’d forgiven you for how you’d acted, but you weren’t quite done making it up to her yet.
She deserved more than just basic human decency.
Tomorrow was one of her off days, and whilst she usually preferred spending those at home with you -you didn’t get much free time together, so she liked to make the most of it- you had a plan up your sleeve. Alexia loved going on hikes. If given the chance, that’s probably what she’d spend all of her free time doing, but her schedule just didn’t allow it. She was busy all the time. Constantly on the go with matches, training, media. That wasn’t even mentioning away games that took her away from you for days at a time.
You, on the other hand, could not hate anything more. You weren’t as fit as Alexia, not even close, so you often struggled with things she did with ease. You got sweaty. Out of breath. And you complained, a lot. Not intentionally. And she never got mad at you for it. But you could tell it bothered her, not being able to enjoy something she loved with you.
And so tomorrow, you were going to hike with her. You were going to go wherever the hell she liked and you weren’t going to voice a single world complaint or distaste.
*
The next morning, you woke before your alarm. Alexia was still out next to you, lying on her stomach with the sheets pooled at the waist, exposing a sliver of the bare, tanned skin of her back. Her arms were holding her pillow to her chest, and soft, barely audible snores were escaping her slightly parted lips.
You reached forward, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear as you leaned down to press your lips to her forehead. The kiss lingered for a few moments before you pulled away, tugging the blankets up to cover her properly before sliding out of bed.
You got ready as silently as you could, slipping into a pair of leggings and sports bra, pairing it with an oversized shirt that you tied at the waist to fit better. You packed lunch, slipping it into the fridge to keep cool whilst you focused on breakfast. Pancakes and coffee, her favourite on rest days. Table set, you headed back to yours and Alexia’s shared bedroom, pushing the door open and peeking inside.
You smiled when you saw she was still asleep, now lying on her back with her arms above her head. Her head was facing you, and as you got closer, you could see the way her eyelashes fluttered as she dreamed. Her nose would twitch occasionally too, and your smile widened as you climbed onto the bed, throwing a leg over her waist and carefully settling to straddle her hips.
Alexia stirred immediately, her arms moving down to rest on either side of her body. She scrunched her face up, obviously unhappy at the interruption to her sleep, and you laughed softly as you leaned forward to rest your elbows just above her shoulders. You reached forward slightly and trailed the backs of your fingers over her cheek. It was warm to the touch, and you hummed as you pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips.
No reaction.
“Baby…” you mused, leaning forward to kiss her again. This time, she turned her face away from you, and though she tried to hide it, you didn’t miss the way her lips quirked up just slightly at the corners. Ahh. So she was awake.
“I saw that,” you murmured, the smile audible in your voice. “Come on, my love. I made you breakfast. Your favourite.”
Nothing. Not even a twitch.
“There’s coffee too.” You try and tempt, but much to your dismay, she remained still.
“Alexia…come on baby. It’s going to get cold.”
Silence, though her lips do twitch again.
“Okay, so you’re going to be difficult, huh?” You laughed, sitting up and sliding off of her. “I can work with that.” You murmured to yourself, shaking out your arms before sliding your arms beneath her back and hauling her up into a sitting position. You then bend at the waist, using the momentum to throw her over your shoulder, blankets and all.
“Amor!” She squawked, now face to face with your ass as her hands scramble for purchase against your T-shirt.
You bounced her up slightly, your arms looped around her thighs as you begin making your way out of the room. “I tried nicely, baby. You asked for this.”
“I ask for nothing!” She cried.
You didn’t dignify that with a response.
“Put me down, now!” She demanded, adding emphasis to the last word by slapping your butt. Hard. The sound of her palm making contact with you echoed throughout the hallway.
It was your turn to yelp. “Ow! Don’t hit me, you tyrant.”
“Then put me down, amor! Now!”
You only complied because you were in the kitchen. You set her down in front of you, your hands trailing up her body as you did. She glared at you as your hands came to rest on the small of her back beneath her shirt, her face red. She tried and failed to hide the way her lips threaten to quirk up into a smile.
“You are trouble,” she grumbled, and you simply grinned as you pressed a kiss to her nose.
“You love me.” You shrugged, reaching round her to pull out her chair. “Now eat up. I have a surprise for you.”
Alexia raised an eyebrow as she sat down and allowed you to push her closer to the table. “Surprise?” She picked up her coffee and took a tentative sip.
“Sí,” you confirmed, kissing the top of her head as you sat down opposite her. “I won’t give much away, but it’s something you love doing.”
“You?” She grinned, and you snorted in amusement as you reached for your own drink. “No, but maybe later if you’re lucky.” You nudge her with your foot beneath the table.
Alexia hummed a little, hiding her smile by taking another sip of her drink. “Bien.”
You rolled your eyes fondly. “You know the hike Mapi and Ingrid mentioned going on last week?”
Alexia’s eyes light up. Her eyes drifted down to your outfit, almost as though she’d just taken note of what you were wearing. “Sí?”
“You wanna go?” You ask, picking up your fork.
“Contigo?” She leaned forward in her seat slightly.
“Sí. With me.” You confirmed. “We can have a picnic at the top too. I’ve already packed the food.”
Alexia’s eyes flicker over to the refrigerator. “Really?”
“Really,” you nod, and Alexia, seemingly unable to help herself, grinned in excitement as she set down her coffee and goes to stand up.
“Hey, no.” You stop her, reaching out a hand.
Alexia froze midway to her feet, looking at you sheepishly.
“Breakfast first, baby.” You gestured to her untouched pancakes.
“But-“ she pouted, looking longingly to the bedroom.
You shook your head. You were glad she was excited, but you didn’t want her going on a hike on an empty stomach. Knowing your luck, she’d end up passing out or something. “Breakfast.” You said again.
“Fine.” She grumbled, pouting as she dropped back down in her seat and picked up her fork.
An hour and a half later, you were midway through your hike. Alexia was a few steps ahead of you, happily chatting away as she pointed out different things that caught her eye. You hummed in acknowledgment each time she glanced back at you for approval, forcing a smile into your face, but inside, you were slowly dying.
You insisted on carrying the backpack, which, now half an hour in, you were quickly regretting. It was heavy; filled with lunch, drinks, a small first aid kit which Alexia had insisted on bringing and who knew what else. You were sweaty, your legs burned, and you were pretty sure you had a blister. But, like you promised, you hadn’t uttered a single word of complaint. Not a single one.
You’d come close though. Several times, actually. Almost instinctively, your lips had parted, and something along the lines of a complaint had begun to slip out. But you’d managed to stop yourself, and Alexia had been none the wiser for which you were thankful.
But then, along came the rock. You were completely unaware of its presence, sticking out of the ground just a few feet ahead of you. You were too busy trying to keep up with your pro athlete of a girlfriend whilst simultaneously ignoring both the burning in your legs and lungs. One second, you were walking. Or, well, stumbling really. And the next, you were sprawled out on the ground, your hands in front of you in what you could only assume was a subconscious effort at protecting your face.
You laid there, bewildered, for approximately ten seconds before Alexia’s voice filled your ears.
“Amor, are you okay?” You feel her hand come to rest on your back.
You shifted a little, wiggling both your hands and feet. No pain. That was good.
“I’m..I’m okay,” you muttered, bracing yourself and pushing up onto your knees. You heaved a breath before forcing yourself to stand up, Alexia’s hands slipping under your arms to help you do so. Keeping her hold on you, she guided you away from the traitorous rock to a flatter part of the ground before letting you go and reaching for your hands.
“Let me see.” She murmured, and you swallowed thickly as you comply.
You wince a little when the pad of her thumb trailed over one of your palms, and she gave you an apologetic look as she reached up to pull the backpack off of your shoulders. You let her, watching as she crouched down and unzipped it before pulling out the first aid kit that was placed at the very top.
You supposed it was a good job she insisted on bringing it after all.
“Here bebé, hold out your hands.” She instructed as she stood back up, a bottle of water and gauze in her hands.
You thought it was a little overkill for a couple of scrapes in all honesty, but figure it was best to let her do what she thought was necessary. You wince only slightly as she wiped away the dirt and dried blood from your palms, giving them a few moments to air dry before covering them with two large bandaids. And then, without warning, she brought both of your hands to her lips and placed a lingering kiss to each.
Your smile was instant.
“Better?” She looked at you over the top of her sunglasses.
You nod, cheeks flushed a light shade of red. “Mhh, better. Gracias baby.”
She grinned. “De nada, amor.” She put the first aid kit back into the backpack before hosting it over her own shoulders. You don’t try and fight her, instead taking the hand she offered and allowing her to tug you forward.
A comfortable silence settled over you both as she absentmindedly swung your hands back and forth, and you find yourself letting out a quiet sigh of content as you trail your thumb over her knuckles. She squeezed your hand in response, and you instantly returned the gesture as you looked up at her.
She met your gaze, and her lips immediately quirk up in so a smile so genuine it made you melt a little. It also reignited the guilt over yesterday you thought had faded, and you let out another sigh as you looked down at your feet.
“You do not have to feel guilty, amor.” She broke the silence, and you look up at her immediately, eyes wide in shock.
How had she…
“I know you.” Is all she said.
You purse your lips contemplatively for a moment before speaking. “I hurt your feelings, Ale. Of course I’m going to feel guilty.”
She hummed. “Sí.” She agreed, and you bite your bottom lip as you look down at your feet. “But you apologise. You make it up to me, no?” She gave your hand a squeeze, silently coaxing you to look back at her, and you do. The look in her eyes was one full of love, understanding, and it eased the guilt just slightly.
“I’m trying.” You nod.
Alexia squeezed your hand again. “You were forgiven…Inmediatamente, amor. Te amo. It was easy.”
You gently eased her to a stop before coming to step in front of her, resting your hands on her hips. She stepped close, her own hands rising to cup your cheeks as you raised up onto your tiptoes and pressed your lips against her own. She let out a quiet exhale through her nose as she reciprocated, eyes fluttering closed as she pressed her chest flush against your own. You slid your hands round to rest at the small of her back, sliding up and down just slightly as her nose grazed your cheek.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Ale. Truly.” You murmured as you pulled away, and Alexia hummed as she brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
“You were you. Simple.”
“I love you.”
“Te amo, amor.”
**
Tags:
@ceesimz @marysfics @girlgenius1111 @codiemarin @simp4panos @silentwolfsstuff @goldenempyrean @xxnaiaxx @liloandstitchstan @ktgoodmorning @chelseacult @totaly-obsessed
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heavysighing-dreamyeyes · 2 months ago
Text
The Facade of You
I wanted to write him off putting and cocky at the same time, but that sure is a fine line. Reader is a bit of a spitfire when they probably should keep their mouth shut. (And I love that) ~2.3k words
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When the Arkham Knight wants something, he gets it. Driven. Focused. Torrent in his mission and desires. You knew it from the moment you met him. Knew it the second you swung the aluminum baseball bat at his head, and he stopped your swing without even a flinch.
This was going to be a problem. Well, more of a problem than it already was.
Most of Gotham had evacuated because of whatever insane plan Scarecrow had crafted. Most, but not all. You had shored yourself up in your apartment, ready to ride out whatever happens from the comfort of your own home.
Was it the smartest decision? Maybe not. But you had survived blizzards in July, streets lined with living plants, and some guy who liked to run around hosting tea parties while wearing a top hat. So, you think you could be forgiven if you thought you could handle some threats of fear gas and anarchy.
And honestly, you probably could have. If not for the figure wearing armor worth more than your whole apartment breaking through your window.
On any other day, you probably would have screamed at the sight of the stranger standing in your living room. But tonight, there's no neighbors to call the cops, no vigilantes with time to spare patrolling the streets to hear you cry for help.
So you swung. Swung your bat right for his weird, glowing helmet with all your strength.
His fingers caught and curled around the metal before you even registered him moving. Everything seemed to go still, your instincts practically screaming at you to flee. You didn't need to see his face to know that he's smirking at you, head tilting like what you did was interesting, but pointless.
The silence stretches as you try to tug the bat from his hold, but the man doesn't even seem to move. No, he only starts to laugh at you, laughs like this is the last he expected, like the entire situation is ridiculous.
It draws a scowl to your face. So what if he's covered head to toe in armor and weapons? He broke into your apartment to what? Revel in your misery? Make fun of you? And you're just supposed to take that?
You open your mouth to confront him, to demand answers, when he laughs again, low and still full of disbelief, "Of course, of course you're still in this damned city. I shouldn't be surprised. Always in places you shouldn't be, aren't you."
He punctuates his words with a low, long drawl of your name, the letters falling off his tongue and through the modulator of his helmet as if he's said them a million times.
He drops his hold on the bat, but it hardly matters when your own grip starts to slack at the sound of your name, "Who are you," You demand, every hair on edge as the stranger starts to pace your apartment, almost as if he's looking for something to occupy himself with.
"You aren't supposed to be here, you know," he murmurs, picking up a framed photo, "It's not part of the plan. But I suppose I'm to blame for not expecting this of you."
You step forward, anger clouding your better judgment at the sight of him picking over your things like they're his own, "Put that down."
He turns his head towards you, lifting the photo to your field of vision, "This? It's hardly important."
You grit your teeth at the sight. It is important. More than he could possibly understand. Yours and Jason's smiling face shines from the picture behind the glass, your figures illuminated by the rare summer sun Gotham gets. It's one of the only pictures you have of him, some of the only evidence he was ever in your life.
You lunge forward without warning, dropping your bat in a bid to grab the frame. He easily side steps your desperate attempts. Something seems to shift in the air as he practically purrs, "whoops," and drops the photo from between his fingers.
The breath leaves your lungs as the glass shatters, leaving the photo in a pile of shards and broken wood. Your gaze snaps back to him, outraged, "Who do you think you are? How dare–"
"You can call me The Arkham Knight," he cuts in simply, stepping on the shards– on the photo of Jason– like it's less than nothing.
"What do you want," You hiss, biting back insults over how insane you think he sounds. You match his step forward with your own backward motion, keeping space between you.
"To make Batman pay," he drawls, honest and never slowing his steps towards you, even as you rapidly run out of space between you and the wall.
You shift your free hand to your pocket, trying to fumble for your phone without him noticing, "Then why are you here? I'm not Batman."
He finally stops stalking your every step as your back hits the wall, lingering only an arms length away from you, "No," he relents, "You're not Batman. But he does feel responsible for you."
"He feels responsible for everyone," You protest, fingers tapping blindly across your phone. Your voice shakes, even as you try to hide it. But it's hard not to be intimidated by the man towering over you, by the unblinking whites of his mask shining on your face.
He sighs, like whatever game he's playing suddenly went dull, "It's a shame you were here. Really. It would have been better if you'd left the city."
You press send on your phone. At least, you hope the (ideally) coherent message you're trying to get to Babs without seeing is sending, "Are you going to kill me?"
He recoils like the idea repulses him. It's the first bit of proof you've gotten that he even has feelings outside of whatever front he's been putting up. But he settles back into that lazy, uncaring pose, nodding towards your pocket, "Go ahead, sweet thing. Call Barabra. Call Dick. Call Bruce, even. They won't help you. Even if it wasn't such a busy night, you've never been their priority."
You tense, frozen under his unwavering gaze and the revelation of his words. His jabs don't bother you. He's clearly trying to get under your skin. But, he– The Arkham Knight– knows. Your mind races as your breathing shallows. He knows about Batman– everyone. But how much does he know? How much could he know? Their identities, that secret, it always felt untouchable.
It nearly makes you tremble. Is that why he's here? To get back at them somehow through you? It hardly makes sense if it's true. Jason's the one that cared about you– that wanted you to be okay.
His words feel like a trap. The idea that he wants you to call for help is just another game he's letting you play. But you pull out your phone anyway, your eyes never really leaving him even as you dial a number with trembling fingers.
The line rings. And rings. Then, "Hi, it's Barbara–"
"Babs, I need–" You start, only to be cut off by the continued message.
"I can't answer the phone right now, but leave a message after the tone, and I'll be sure to get back to you!"
Your heart drops, and you don't get the chance to consider your options before the Arkham Knight is plucking your phone out of your hands to end the call. He tosses your only hope of getting help towards your couch.
His voice is mocking, when he speaks again, "See? They can't even save themselves. How could you think they'd bother with you?"
"Why are you here," You ask instead, desperate to ignore the growing pit in your stomach, the fear creeping up your spine.
He hums, and reaches up to grab your chin, turning your face this way and that to study you. "A lapse in judgment. Curiosity. A weakness for the past. It hardly matters," he mutters, more for himself than you, "What matters is what to do with you."
"You could leave me here," you suggest quickly, grabbing at his wrist to keep him still, "Pretend you never saw me. I won't get in the way. I'm– I'm no vigilante. I won't be any trouble."
He scoffs, dropping his hand from your face, "This city would eat you alive. You can't handle what's coming."
"And what's it to you," You snarl, sounding braver that you feel and driven by the annoyance course through your veins. You're more than capable of taking care of yourself. (Just not necessarily against military trained rouges)
That seems to snap him to attention, and you regret your words immediately. You've essentially given him a reminder that you mean as much to him as the photo he left broken on the floor. And if he wanted to send a message to Batman, it would be easy to start with you.
"It's nothing to me," he hisses back, but even the modulator in his helmet doesn't hide the tightness– the near lie– of his voice, "You're in over your head, doll. If anything, you should be grateful I'm showing you the truth."
Your blood runs cold, your tone sharpens, and your eyes narrow. He doesn't have the right. Jason's the only one that's ever nicknamed you doll. His eyes always seemed to shine when he said it. "Don't call me that," You warn, words dripping with malice.
He honestly snorts at you, unimpressed by your threat, "What's wrong, doll? Hit a sore spot?"
You throw yourself at him, aiming a fist for his dumb helmet as your heart pounds in your ears. If he's going to make an example of you, use you against Batman, you're not going to lay back and just let him pick at your wounds.
He catches you like he expected it, hauling you into the air as you scream obscenities and curses, kicking and hitting your fists against his armor until he dumps you unceremoniously onto the couch. You scramble for your discarded phone, and he's quick to pin you down, his knee braced to your stomach to keep you from moving as he knocks your phone out of reach.
He huffs as if this is just a minor setback, reaching down to fix the wrinkles forming in your clothes every time you struggle, "And here I thought you liked being called doll."
"Not by you," You practically spit, all rationally thrown out the window as you continue to squirm. You bring your nails up to his arm, trying to dig into any weak spots in his armor for a chance to escape, to make him hurt.
"Only by me, sweet thing," he coos, and your world stills to a halt as he clicks the faceplate of his helmet back.
Jason Todd is grinning at you. It's not quite right. His eyes are wilder than you remember, his smile too forced, too tense. There's more scars across his skin than you recall there being. A stark white brand stands out on his cheek. But it's him. Undeniably him.
"Now where'd all your fight go," he questions, fingers trails up to rest on your throat, "no need to look all surprised, doll."
All you can offer is his name falling from your lips, eyes wide, and face shell-shocked.
He tuts, fingers flexing ever so slightly against your pulse, "Is that really all you have to say?"
"They told me you were dead," you choke out, unable to fight the tears threatening to well in your vision.
"They lied," he says simply, as if that answers anything. He lifts his hand from your throat to press his thumb against your lower eyelid, the light pressure forcing your tears to spill onto the fabric of his glove.
"Jason–" You try again, wanting answers, comfort, anything you can latch onto.
He only shushes you, "I don't blame you, sweet thing, for falling for it. That's just what they do. They lie. Change the narrative to fit their twisted perceptions. But I'll help you. I'll tell you everything you need to know. All you need to do, is come with me."
It's a bad idea. You feel it down to your bones. Jason, your Jason, isn't the one digging his knee into your stomach, isn't the one collecting your tears on his glove like they're a trophy. But he is Jason, and he's only ever done what's best for you. So going with him has to be right, has to be what you're supposed to do.
You nod. What else could you do? How could you even think to deny him when his face lights up in the shadow of how he used to smile at you?
He stands, and it takes every bit of strength you have not to surge forward and beg him not to when he clicks his helmet back shut. The Arkham Knight– Jason– offers you a hand, and you don't need a second thought to take it.
You shouldn't. You really shouldn't. He said it himself, he didn't plan for you to even be here. But his grip is steady in yours, and he keeps turning his head to check on you as he leads you across your apartment and to the window.
Relief clouds your mind, the idea that everything could be okay as long as he's back. So you follow him, don't ask questions even as he leads you down the fire escape and towards a suspiciously armored truck.
You don't press, even as he barks orders at the driver that's dressed more like a soldier than a chauffeur.
You let him tell you that you made the right choice. That he's going to fix all of this, that you being here will help in the end. You let him guide you through Gothams ruined streets, far away from your home, from where the memory of him is shattered on the floor.
And if you left your phone ringing over and over again on your couch in a frantic attempt to reach you, you're far too blinded by the echo of the boy you're chasing to care.
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cottonlemonade · 3 months ago
Text
Dating You For A Bet [Part 2]
word count: 1756 || avg. reading time: 8 mins.
pairing: University AU!Matsukawa x chubby!Reader
genre: angst
warnings: bullying
[part 1]
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The following days were miserable. Between dodging Matsukawa lurking outside your dorm and having to see him in most of your seminars and lectures it was hard to pretend that you didn’t care, much to the delight of the fellow students who apparently had nothing better to do or collectively lost their WiFi and were starved for entertainment. They threw glances between the two of you as if following a tennis match, although you were stubbornly pretending to follow the lesson while Issei just listlessly stared at his closed book.
He had tried to talk to you after lectures, during lunch, or when he ran into you at the convenience store but to no avail. You remained strong, frequently reminding yourself that everything from your first kiss to the first time sleeping together was solely done to win a bet. A bet! To him, you were nothing more than some easily manipulated, naive girl from a country he probably didn’t even know how to spell. The three crumpled notes from that day were still at the bottom of your trash can, unread, and now buried under more paper scraps, gum wrappers, and empty juice boxes. Your roommate hadn’t noticed or questioned why you didn’t leave in the evenings anymore to go on dates. Chances were that she had read about the whole thing online.
You were tired of it all. The initial burst of energy you felt, fueled by nothing but spite, had finally ebbed away and at this point, Christmas was drawing nearer and nearer and you ran on fumes. Having tried to deep dive into homework and assignments had left you fatigued and vulnerable, so it came to no surprise that a month after the break up you couldn’t take it anymore. You had figured that the other students would eventually move on to the next shiny thing but not so. A small group of boys and girls stood in front of the library with coffee cups steaming in their hands. You braced yourself inwardly. You just wanted to quickly return a book and then you’d be on your way again. When you approached them they interrupted their conversation to very obviously look you up and down as if judging your post-break-up fashion choices.
“I just knew there had to be a reason for him dating her.”, one of them said, deliberately loud enough for you to hear.
“Oh my god, I know right? I can’t believe she fell for it. I mean, what would someone like him ever see in someone like her.”, another piped up.
“Honestly kudos to him, I dunno if I could have gotten it up with her in bed.” They laughed.
You stopped on your way up the stairs. Matsukawa stood in front of you just coming out of the building, a tattered, well-annotated book in hand and his bag half-hearted slung over his shoulder.
The group of friends gasped quietly and hushed each other, waiting.
“Y/n…”, Issei said softly, then snapped at the others, “Don’t you have somewhere to be?!”
They laughed again but hurried inside.
“Y/-“
He couldn’t even finish the word. You had already turned around and walked away. And he would have let you get the space you needed if he didn’t see you cry. Readjusting his bag he slowly made his way down the steps and followed you, a couple of meters behind.
Whenever you missed your family he had tried to bring a bit of home to you with a traditional dish he knew you loved - that he usually messed up - or by watching a Disney movie in your native language while snuggling up on his bed under a blanket. But what had helped you most of all when you were upset was always a simple hug. And he never let go first. He made sure that you knew he would hold you as long as you needed. When you first told him you loved him he was wracked with guilt. He had since come to realize how messed up the whole thing was and tried to get out of it. He lied when his friends asked him if he had completed the bet but his roommate had only patted him on the back and accused him of being modest. And he, Issei, had forced a smile and accepted the money feeling like the most disgusting person in the world. The money still sat untouched in his sock drawer. He didn’t want to use it. He felt ashamed of himself but whenever he spent time with you he was weirdly glad that he agreed to the bet. Otherwise, who knows if he would have walked up to you as he had. Privately, to make himself feel better, he thought, of course he would have.
He would have noticed eventually how amazing you were.
He would have eventually seen how much you two had in common, that in all actuality you were his dream girl.
He would have. Eventually. Wouldn’t he?
Probably not, he had to admit. Ever since puberty hit him like a truck he walked around with a newfound level of confidence. This must have been what it was like for Oikawa back then - girls doing a double take and smiling when they saw him, little admiring love notes tucked quickly into his workbook when he wasn’t looking. All the attention slowly rose to his head and he became arrogant, leading to agreeing to a bet he would have punched his friends for in high school.
Hands in his pockets and breath forming little clouds in front of him, Issei’s heart broke all over again when he caught a small sound from you like a sniffle or a sob. As if on reflex his hand slid into the front of his bag to check for tissues, then remembered you probably wouldn’t accept them.
You finally came to a halt at a bench near your dorm. You spun around and stared at him icily through red puffy eyes.
“Stop following me. You know this is creepy, right?”
“I prefer to see it as romantic.”
You scoffed. “It’s only romantic if feelings are reciprocated.”
He swallowed hard. “… I deserved that.” Then he reached into his bag and retrieved a water bottle, walked a little closer, and held it out.
“Here, drink something. I can see you squinting like you do when you’re about to get a massive headache, come on.”
You had a retort ready to launch but your head was starting to pound from the crying so with a scowl you took it and gulped down a few sips.
“None of this makes what you did okay.”, you said, unwavering.
He nodded. “I know. - Can I hold you anyway? Just til you stop crying.”
His question made new tears well in your eyes and he closed the gap between you. Before he hugged you, he hesitated in case you would kick and scream if he did. When you only continued to cry he wrapped his arms around you. At first, it was like hugging a mannequin. Then he felt you shiver and sob harder and he squeezed you tighter.
This, the warmth of him, smell of him, soothing murmurs in your ear, made it all too easy to forget for a moment why he wasn’t yours anymore.
You subconsciously grabbed onto his jacket and he started slowly swaying from side to side. He missed you so damn much. His eyes began to sting.
And on reflex like he always had, he pressed his lips against your temple, then against your cheek, then your lips. You stiffened for a moment, then returned the kiss. With his heart swelling in his chest, he cupped your cheeks to wipe away the tears, but you were already pushing him away.
“No! You can’t just… this is not okay. You hurt me! You … you broke my heart! I feel embarrassed! And pathetic. And betrayed! Don't you understand?!”
His vision blurred and he lowered his head to stare at your shoes again to hide that he started crying as well. He just nodded at first, then took a shallow breath to calm down a little.
“I know.”, he said, his voice thick and raspy. He cleared his throat, “What I did was horrible. And immature. And there is no way I can take it back. But I do love you.”
“Tch.”
“So much. I don’t want to be without you.”
“Would you give me another chance?”, you asked suddenly.
He looked up. “What?”
“If you were in my shoes. If I did to you what you did to me. Could you just get over that? Imagine if someone way out of your league started flirting with you because they thought it was funny. Because they wanted to see if they could make you fall in love. For fun.”
“That’s not… I’m so so sorry, Y/n.”
“Stop saying that!”
“I don’t know what else to do! Please, tell me, I’ll do anything!”
“There is nothing you can do! I told you it’s over!”
“I refuse to believe that! Let me show you how much I love you! I know that some part of you still loves me, too. And I know you’ll forgive me eventually because you’re a much better person than I am.”
“I think you severely underestimate just how petty I can be and how much I love holding grudges.”, you retorted and the smallest smile twitched on his lips.
There was a pause in which his expression turned gentler again and he used the sleeve of his jacket to mop up the tears gathering on his chin. “Tell me what I can do.”
“Actually show me that you’re sorry? - And find better friends.”
“Done.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”, he said firmly, “You’ll see.”
“Hm hm.”, you said doubtfully and held out the bottle to him, “Thanks for the water. I should get going.”
“Book club tonight, right?”, he asked. It was still set as a permanent reminder in his phone’s calendar so that he’d come to pick you up afterward to walk you to your dorm.
“Actually… I have a date.”
You waited for a moment before you dared to look at him again. His face had fallen and he seemed at a loss for words. When you brushed past him you half expected him to grab your hand again, to try to talk you out of it. But nothing. He stood exactly where you left him and so you went inside.
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tags because I genuinely appreciate all your comments and reblogs: @samoankpoper21 @garouaddict @gojoscloset @multi-fandom-fanfic @crazyyanderefangirlfan
[part 3]
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ramonathinks · 1 year ago
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your dad always mentioning his best friend — you’re always hearing stories about him yet he’s never around. you only ever seen the back of his head in photos, and honestly you can barely even remember his name.
so when you’re back from university during the summer and your dad says in passing that his best friend is finally coming down to see him, you don’t think to much of it. just finally glad you’re able to meet the man who your dad is always raving about.
but being back home and away from school, you finally feel a bit more free. you invite a few friends out to a local club, waiting to look cute and just get some drinks.
you weren’t expecting a handsome stranger to be so taken with you. he buys you a drink, he offers you a dance, you can feel just how hard he is against your backside but he doesn’t care. “i want to be a gentleman and not fuck you in the bathroom…” as he speaks the dress you’re wearing is pulled up your hips, the club dimly lit and you can only feel his strong hands trailing up and down your thighs. “but i can hardly hold on any longer. you’re such a beautiful woman, you know that?”
“so i must ask if i can take you to where im saying tonight?” his fingers circle around your panty clothed clit and you squirm, nodding.
the hotel he stays at is only a block away, the walk is almost unbearable with his hot gaze and his hand on the small of your back.
a good look under the bedroom light and you get even wetter, his older handsome face under your dress when he sits you on the bed.
he’s sloppy with it. wetness coating your thighs as he slurps up the wetness you let out. he plays with your clit using his mouth to suck and lick trails up, drawing circles all over. muttering: “sticky little thing.” you try not to squirm to move but you reach down to tug at his hair as he shakes his hand to get more of your juices to coat his face. your thighs shake but he stops: “want you cumin’ on my cock, got that pretty?”
his cock splits you open, you arch your back and move back, he just laughs: “you can take it, cmon.” and even whispers more dirty things in your ear: “cmon baby, this pussy is weeping, don’t you want her to stop crying?”
you stay up all night as he makes you take him over and over again until he can fit himself all the way in. the long drags of his thick cock overwhelming you, your toes curl and when a tear falls from your eyes he makes sure to lick it up, you can’t believe this man is so filthy.
when the morning time comes you hear him on the phone, muttering or rather trying to be a gentleman to let you sleep in. he leaves you a bit of money with a note saying not to think of it as anything, he owes you for making you stay up all night.
you don’t expect to see him again. especially at home, hugging your dear old dad. you don’t expect him to look at you with the same amount as want and need as last night as you shake his hand.
even when breakfast is over, he helps you wash the dishes, saying he wants to get to know you better or so he tells your dad — his best friend. but instead he’s talking to you: “what are we going to do, hm? we can’t tell him, your dad would kill me.”
“my dad would kill both of us. you’re his best friend—”
“and you’re his precious daughter.” his eyes darken as he looks you over, even with you just wearing a tee shirt and jeans he still was packing a hard on. “he can forgive you, he won’t forgive me. im the adult here.”
“im twenty three, im an adult!” you try to argue.
“half my age, i shouldn’t have been been so careless.” he mutters, thinking to himself. “reckless. let’s just make that a one time thing, okay? look at me.”
your body burns in embarrassment as you look up at him, biting your lip and twirling your hair. you liked the way he looked at you, soft warming and inviting eyes.
he says it’s a one time thing until he’s putting his number in your phone. he says it’s a one time thing until he’s fucking you a few times before he leaves. he says it’s a one time thing until he’s taking you on dinners. he says it’s a one time thing even when he’s three months deep into the summer.
he says it’s a one time thing the entirety of his stay and when you’re back on campus, getting ready to sign a lease to a lonely apartment. you realize it’s not a one time thing when he’s pulling up and quickly telling the landlords nevermind for you and he’s giving you keys to a shared place.
“just don’t tell your dad, okay?” he winks.
SHIU KONG, TOJI, MIGUEL, GHOST, KÖNIG
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BANNERS BY @/cafekitsune
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livinginshambles · 1 year ago
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I want to be loved first | James Potter
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Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 4.0k
Summary: Established relationship and angst: James still loves Lily, it's clear to you. You try to ignore the way your heart aches when you always seem to be second on his mind, knowing you will never compare to her and unsure how much more you can take.
Notes: Its happy ending again, sorry guys. I'd say no beta, we die like fred, but that feels too soon so anyway, spelling and grammar mistakes probably.
Masterlist
____________________________
People have often told you that you need to toughen up and grow a spine. That your lack of backbone had everyone trample on you like you were a crosswalk, and you could definitely say that they were right.
Perhaps that's why you were crying in the middle of the night because of James Potter. He was laying behind you, pressed against your back with an arm draped over you. His face was hidden in the back of your neck, breathing steadily against it as he slept peacefully, unaware of the heartache he was causing you when he whispered Lily's name. Again.
When he'd done it the first time, your blood had run cold, goosebumps showing up and littering your bare arms. Tears had prickled in your eyes at his barely audible, mumbled confession. "Love you so much Lily."
You had turned around to face him and your rustling had woken him up. Eyes still closed, he'd groggily shifted and pulled you against his chest. “Everything alright, love?”
“Yeah, just a nightmare,” you had responded in a small voice. Your answer had him finally open his eyes, somewhat concerned. He had lifted his arm to yawn against it and then settled it back on top of you in such a way that his hand had easy access to your nape, drawing circles in an attempt to calm you.
“I've got you, love. Nothing can hurt you, as long as I'm here,” he had assured you.
Ironic.
So now here you were lying down, your tears were freely rolling down your face and you were glad that the curtains of the bed were closed, leaving you in a private space, despite sleeping in the boy’s dormitory. It would be another sleepless night for you, it seemed.
When James stretched his arms to reach for you about four hours later, he frowned and sat up, confused at the lack of your presence. He pushed the red drapes aside and peeked into the room. Sirius was still asleep, face down. Peter was most likely curled up inside the pile of blankets on his bed and Remus was sitting up in bed, a book in his lap.
Even though it was the weekend, and you were anything but an early bird, you slipped out of bed in the early morning. You were sure that your eyes were red and puffy and didn’t want James to mention it.
He looked up when he heard James and raised his eyebrows in question when he noticed no one else behind him. “Have you seen Y/N?” James asked, sleep still heavily laced in his voice. Remus shook his head in thought. “No,” he whispered quietly, an eye on Sirius beside him. “I’ve been up since four in the morning though.”
James’ frown deepened. That meant that you had snuck out before that. But why? He got dressed impressively fast and descended the stairs to the common room. You were sitting at the tip of your chair, deeply engrossed into your transfiguration assignment, several books piled, some laying open, scattered across the small table.
You felt two arms securely wrap around you, almost melting in their designated position. “Morning,” James kissed your cheek.
You bit your lip, took a breath, and cast your hurt feelings aside. You turned your head and flashed him a smile. “Good morning, Jamie.” James took the opportunity of your head, tilted upwards at him, and dipped down to press his lips softly against yours, pecking you once, twice. “You’re up early,” he commented and nudged you. He slipped behind you, body fully relaxing into your back now.
“Couldn’t sleep,” you replied honestly and you leaned back into him. You laughed softly when you noticed his eyes drooping. “You’re tired, Jamie. Go back to sleep.” James made a sound but didn’t move, instead slouching even more against you.
“Hm, no, I missed you this morning. I’ll stay here,” he decided and drifted off to sleep. You didn’t doubt that he loved you.
“Go on a date with me next Friday,” James asked you while he was escorting you to your herbology class. You looked up at him surprised. “A date?” you dumbly repeated, trying not to be too excited about the prospect of a date. James usually ended up having things to do that he really couldn't get out of, so you would always end up canceling your dates.
James laughed and slung his arm around your shoulders. “Exactly. You and me alone. I was thinking of a picnic by the lake, no one else around, and maybe we could snog, but I’m also down to cuddle.” Your eyes crinkled up amusedly. “Don’t you have Quidditch, Jamie,” you raised your eyebrows. “You always have Quidditch practice after class,” you pointed out.
“Not next Friday. I already checked to make sure I didn't double book anything, and I warned Pads that I'm not taking on any new pranks until next week to avoid detention.” he grinned. “Friday will be one of those rare days when I have time to have my girl all to myself the entire afternoon.” His face then turned apologetic. “I know I don’t have much time to take you out, so Friday'll be perfect and I’ll make it up to you.” You threw your arms around his neck and hummed appreciatively in it. “I’d love that.”
James wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for a kiss. “Prongs!” Sirius shouted from a distance. “Everyone is already waiting for you for Quidditch practice, how far are you going to escort her? I mean the greenhouse is on the other side of Hogwarts, mate,” Sirius complained but he blew you a dramatic kiss that James waved away with a sour look.
“Go on,” you laughed and untangled yourself from his arms. He quickly pressed a kiss to your lips and sprinted off towards the Quidditch field.
James dropped into the seat next to you. “Long time no see, love,” he said. You snorted. “James, I saw you two hours ago.” James shrugged, and flirtily smiled. “I said what I said.”
Professor McGonagall entered the classroom and class started. You were jotting down everything she said in a neat handwriting, knowing that James would end up asking to lend your notes, of course by offering kisses in return.
You glanced beside you and were surprised to find him hunched over his notebook, scribbling away. Impressed at the thought that he was actually paying attention, you couldn’t help but peer down at his notes and saw that he was sketching a girl.
Though he wasn’t the greatest artist, you could clearly see that the girl on the paper looked nothing like you, and instead had features that were strikingly similar to Lily. When James looked up from his drawing and glanced to his right where she was sitting, her eyes focused on Professor McGonagall, you felt your heart constrict again, but still decided not to comment on it. He was free to draw whoever he felt like drawing, you reminded yourself.
Jealousy is ugly.
You were sitting in the library, helping a third year with Defense against the dark arts theory, when James barged in, earning several disturbed looks and a threatening glare from the librarian.
“James?” you called to him quietly and motioned for him. James’ eyes spotted you and he slid over to you, wringing his hands together, biting his lips and his eyes darting around.
“You’re nervous,” You remarked while you eyed him up and down. “Or you feel bad. What is it?”
James let out a deep sigh at your bluntness, though he supposed it would be better to get straight to the point. “We can’t go on a date next week, I’ve got prefect stuff, gotta patrol.” You stared at him, your disappointment was visible on your face and James looked at the ground.
“But you already had patrol this week? Isn’t it every other week?” You asked, a bummed out look on your face.
“Well, actually, Lily asked me if I could do rounds with her next week,” he admitted. “Her usual assigned partner was injured during Quidditch practice apparently.”
“Oh.” You didn’t know what to say. You were pretty sure she could ask anyone else for next week or just do the rounds herself as you’ve seen James do it alone for two weeks too when his assigned partner had gone home for a family emergency.
“Is it really vital that you have to go?” You couldn’t help but ask.
"I already said yes." James offered an apologetic smile. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. We can go on a date the week after.” There was a pause and then, “Actually that’ll probably have to wait for the week after that.”
'Imagine having to schedule a simple date, three to four weeks in advance and even then not being guaranteed that nothing would come in between,' you sighed.
You shrugged, a sudden wave of defeat and exhaustion crashing over you. Why did you have to compete for your boyfriend in the first place? 'How tiring', you realized.
You waved him away. “It can’t be helped, I guess,” you somewhat coldly told him, and turned back to the student next to you who was awkwardly looking away. James stood next to you in silence for a moment, still looking at you. You looked up at the lack of the sound of receding footsteps and looked at him questioningly, waving your hand in a ‘what is it?’ manner.
“I can tell her no,” James said, something that looked like a pout on his face. He hated making you feel bad, despite constantly but unconsciously doing it.
“You don’t want to tell her no,” you retorted.
"I would for you.”
“Well, considering that you haven’t told her no by now and are instead here telling me that we have to rearrange our plans, I think you should just go help Lily with rounds.”
James was taken aback by your bitter tone, eyes immediately wide, alarmed that you were really affected by his decision. “Love, I-“
You waved your hand again. “No, I’m sorry,” you apologized before he could. You rubbed your eyes in an exhausted manner. Jealousy was not a good look, you reminded yourself again. “Just really looked forward to that picnic with just you and me.”
“We’ll still have that picnic another time though,” James tried to assure you, but you were no longer looking at him. He realized that the conversation was over and that you wanted to be left alone right now.
“I love you,” James tried one last time and you sighed. " I love you more.” Your words resonated even after James left, knowing that they might be more true than you wanted to admit. You cleared your throat and when you faced the girl next to you, she shot you a sympathetic look.
The last drop was during Potions class. Potions was something you were good at. Maybe not better than Severus Snape, but you did excel in it.
So, if there was one class in which you expected James to want to be your partner, it was Potions class. Perhaps it was arrogant of you to assume such a thing, because when Professor Slughorn had announced that everyone would be paired up, and asked James who he wanted to partner up with, you hadn't expected him to glance at Lily first, which resulted in Professor Slughorn pairing the two together before James could say your name, which in his defense, was what he was planning on saying.
Without sparing you a glace, he left your table to take the seat next to Lily's. Sure, it was mostly a miscommunication issue on Slughorn's part, but did James have to skip over so happily?
“Love you so much, Lily.”
The words repeated in your head when you saw him look at her so fondly and before you could stop yourself, you scribbled a message on a piece of paper, in which you asked him to meet you in the tower, before sending it his way.
You had clung onto James because you were absolutely in love with him and refused to lose him. But it really was a futile battle, you would never compare to her. His first crush, first love, first kiss if you count that one time during ‘spin the bottle’ and his first heartbreak. You’ll always be second, even if he genuinely loves you.
James snapped his head up at you from his attempted conversation with Lily when he got your note, suddenly remembering you, but you were laughing, engrossed in a conversation with a flustered Peter who had almost set the two of you on fire by adding the wrong ingredient. When you left class, you saw James and Lily still talking while calmly packing up.
James entered the tower, holding the note that you had passed him during class. He was smiling cheekily and quickly skipped over, arms ready to wrap around your waist as he leaned in for a kiss, no doubt thinking you asked him to sneak away for a snog.
“We need to talk,” you stopped him, and his grin fell from his face, a serious expression now adorning it. “Everything alright love?” he asked, an odd feeling growing inside of him at your tone. He was suddenly rather unsure if he really wanted to.
'Nothing better than to rip the band aid off', you thought.
“I want to break up.”
There was a long moment of silence while James was registering your words, repeating them in his head over and over again to see if there was any chance that he could have interpreted that incorrectly.
“What?” He eventually said out loud in disbelief. Though he wanted to step forward, reach for you and hold you tightly as if to show that he wouldn’t let you go, his body was inwilling to move.
“Why are y-, I thought we were good?” The crack in his voice didn’t go unnoticed by you. Your heart ached for him, but you were determined to stay strong and say your piece for once. To voice your thoughts and go through with tough decisions that you knew would be for the better.
“We’re not, James,” you sighed. “I know that you know that.”
James shook his head in denial. “No, I don’t know that,” he insisted. His brain was racking through all the instances where he did something wrong and - with the exception of next Friday's date - came up blank.
“But you love me,” he stated, mostly to himself, but it came out more of a question. “Of course,” you confirmed without hesitation.
James’ body finally unfroze, and he surged forward, his hands fumbled to hold your hands. “And I love you,” he stressed, panic starting to rise up. “I love you so much, I’ll take a Veritaserum potion if you want. I just, why would you-, I don’t understand the problem-,”
“I know you love me, James. The problem is that I love you so much more,” you calmly interrupted him. James’ eyes scanned your face to look for answers because none of it maded sense to him.
“I want someone who loves me as much as I love him. Someone who gives me all his love, not just a part that he managed to set apart for me too. And I want to be loved first. Not second. I don't want to be a consolation prize because your first option didn't work out.”
James’ eyes flickered in realization, but his head was still shaking in denial. “I am that someone,” he urged, trying to convince you. He shot you a pleading look. “I love you first, I swear.” He pressed a kiss to the back of your hand, and you pulled it away from his grasp.
“Not first,” you shook your head sadly. “Not when you call for Lily in your sleep, and whisper that you love her.” You watch as James’ frown deepened, mixed expressions crossing his face in surprise, confusion and even bewilderment.
Would he not even admit it?
“Not when you have us rearrange our plans for her, when you draw portraits of her during class, or when you practically jump to be her potions partner. I'm not stupid, James. I see the way you look at her.” You continued to list off the things that happened just this past week, not even bothering to mention all the things that bothered you the past months. Your eyes looked sad and tired, and you took another deep breath. “So, I want to break up.”
James felt like crying, his mind thinking back to everything you said, and knowing that you were right. “I’m sorry,” he tried. “I’m an absolute twat, I know that. I promise you I don’t love Lily, she’s just still very important to me.” You offered him a sympathetic smile.
“I know she’s important to you, I just think that maybe you don’t know what or who you want. And I won’t share my boyfriend anymore, I’m selfish like that,” You joked halfheartedly. James didn’t react, save for wrapping his arms around you. You allowed James to embrace you and he buried his head in your hair, his eyes closed as if he wanted to go to sleep and forget this was happening.
“Okay,” James whispered. What else was he supposed to say?
You closed yours as well. James would get over you in no time, you were certain. You two hadn’t been dating for that long, and perhaps James could find a happy ending in Lily after all.
James had sort of avoided you after that. You thought he was doing it because he was angry, but in reality, he was just scared that he would burst into tears the moment he saw you, and he refused to watch you laugh happily, swatting your friend while he wanted nothing more than to hold your hand again.
His mind had completely become occupied by you and he stayed in bed over the weekend, mostly wallowing in self-pity and misery.
When Monday started, he had skipped all classes and only dragged himself out of bed for Quidditch practice and patrol with Lily. Walking next to her in silence, occasionally glancing at her, he felt his stomach sink again. How ironic that when he looked at Lily, all he could think about was you.
James walked through the corridor on Friday, on his way to the courtyard to meet up with Lily again to do rounds with her. He hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully without you. At first, he had been thinking about every instance where he prioritized Lily over you, and it had him curse himself out in his pillow. He missed you. It was so ridiculous, but he missed you to the point that he would curl up in bed with a stomach ache.
He had finally drifted off when at some point in the middle of the night, he had been shaken awake by Sirius.
“What?” James had asked, his throat dry and raspy. He’d looked around, disoriented.
“Thought you were having a nightmare Prongs. You kept mumbling her name. How much you loved her,” Sirius had handed James a glass of water.
James became wide awake and sat up straight in panic. “Lily?” He had asked Sirius, his stomach turning with nausea. He still couldn’t believe that he really talked about Lily in his sleep when you were lying next to him.
“What? No, Y/N’s name of course.” Sirius had corrected him. 'Of course,' James shook his head at Sirius’ words. “Figured you were reliving your breakup,” Sirius had explained.
James was looking through the passing windows of the castle where he could see the lake in the far distance. Suddenly something in his brain clicked. What in Godrick's name was he doing, avoiding you? Why was he giving up on you without a fight? You both loved each other; he was just the idiot who couldn’t sort himself out. But it didn’t take him longer than a terrible week to open his eyes.
James’ pace increased and he ran through the corridor. “No running in the corridors young man,” a portrait commented, but he paid it no mind.
Lily was already waiting for him and raised her eyebrows at his disheveled state and the basket that he was carrying. “I can’t do rounds with you today,” he puffed out. “I told Y/N that I would take her out for a picnic and then you asked me if I could help, and I agreed, but it’s so stupid because I should be-, I am choosing her,” James ranted. “I’m not letting you come first, or even second.”
Lily wasn’t really sure what James was rambling on about but gave him a kind smile, nonetheless. “Well, what are you waiting for,” she encouraged him. “Sounds to me like you shouldn’t be here, but somewhere else.”
“Yeah, I definitely should.”
You sat by the lake, skipping stones from a sitting position, not that you were having any luck. You hadn't seen James in a while because he avoided you, and you felt sadness wash over you. You were sure that he would get over you quick enough, but you wondered how long would it take for you to get over him?
You heard rustling behind you but kept facing forward. It was only when a delicious smell reached you, that you turned around, slightly annoyed that someone would really choose this spot to have an afternoon meal at when they could’ve sat literally anywhere else near the lake, as well as choose this moment when you wanted to act like a depressed main protagonist gazing in the distance.
You were, however, not prepared to see James stand behind you, out of breath and making his way over to you, a blanket and food spread out behind him. He didn’t really need to say anything. You understood from the way he showed up here, a hopeful expression on his face.
Your heart skipped a beat, and you got up, dusting yourself off.
"Hi," James breathed. An unsure smile formed on his face when you waved back. "I uh, I brought food." He awkwardly motioned to the picnic behind him and you couldn't help but smile at his adorableness.
“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else,” you couldn’t help but lightheartedly remark. James let out an airy chuckle, immediately relaxing at your open demeanor.
“100% sure I’m where I should be,” he affirmed. He considered his words and corrected himself. "Where I want to be."
His words had you take off in a sprint towards him and James opened his arms to catch you when you jumped, locking your legs around him. Ironically enough, it felt as if a weight had fallen off of James. His head fell against your shoulder and he shakily laughed while your blouse stained with tears of relief.
"I'm really sorry," he looked up at you, still holding you steadily. You leaned down to press your forehead against his, and your hands came up to his cheeks. "You made up your mind," you said, but it came out like a question, and James nodded hastily.
"And you'll make it up to me."
"Of course," he earnestly replied. "I want us. I'll fight for us." You closed the gap between the two of you.
“I love you,” he whispered breathlessly against your lips.
Not first or second, not more, most or less. He just loves you.
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duhlore · 4 months ago
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❛ THE NEEDY AND THE TOUCH-STARVED! 670wck/3.7kchars
PAIRINGS; touch-starved!c. kamo x reader, needy!t. shigaraki x reader
CWS; amab!reader, squirting, afab!characters, biting/scratching, vryy whiney shig, fingering, p in v sex, pussy slapping, virigin choso, breeding kink/ preg mention, lowercase on purpose, crying + overstim mentioned in choso's part, masochist!shiggy :333, not proofread lmfaooaoa ..
notes: i honestly got carried away w/ cho's part so he might not even be touched starved because im so sleepy..,.., but this is a 1 year anni gift for my poochie ily queen
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NEEDY!SHIGARAKI who can't seem to get enough of you, always trying to get your attention in some sort of way even if it wasn't verbally. always needing to feel your strong hands somewhere along his sensitive body, specifically his cunt.
NEEDY!SHIGARAKI who easily gets wet at the feeling of your fingers teasing his entrance circling his tight hole— your thumb caresses his clit while he tries to pay attention to the game he's playing, a firm grip on the controller in his shaky hands as he tries not to drop it.
NEEDY!SHIGARAKI who can't stop himself from letting out a loud mewl whenever you give his throbbing pussy a smack whenever he loses a match at mk, muttering something to him along the lines of ‘ pay attention, ’ or to ‘ stay focused, ’. although he wants to please you, it's so hard for the poor boy to concentrate when your thick fingers are pumping in an out of his slick heat at such a brutal pace that made him see stars.
NEEDY!SHIGARAKI who instantly lets out a sigh of relief when he finally wins a game, knowing that you'll reward him for trying so hard (he lost like more than 10 matches cuz he couldn't focus..), leaning back into your embrace and grinding back against you for some sort of friction he desperately needed to feel, whining and whimpering like a mad man. NEEDY!SHIGARAKI who cums after just a few thrust, not even 6, wailing and babbling that he wanted you to keep going, that he needed your kids deep inside him womb. And by his nth orgasm he's practically screaming at the top of his lungs for you, not caring who or what heard him, the sound of skin against skin or the headboard loudly banging against the wall.
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TOUCH-STARVED!CHOSO who's never had sex a single time his whole life, which probably was more than 150 years, but the second he sees you? slick is dribbling down his legs like a goddamn rainstorm. and god, does it feel absolutely amazing when you're finally inside of him, the feeling of your long and girthy cock plunging in his guts make his toes curl and his eyes roll back instantly.
TOUCH-STARVED!CHOSO who cums loud and so hard that he ends up squirting for the first time in his life, fluids gushing out of him and covering yours and his own thighs with his juices while covering his face with his arm out of embarrassment although you're reassuring him with soft and open-mouthed kisses along his neck and jaw, praising him about how good he's being for you.
TOUCH-STARVED!CHOSO who's biting your shoulder and scratching at your back hard enough to draw blood from the areas, clinging to you as if his life truly depends on it, tears beginning to sting at his eyes from his surprisingly good he felt from your cock rearranging his insides. TOUCH-STARVED!CHOSO who'd probably pass out from overstim after your nth round, sobbing lightly as his frail and trembling body falls limp in your warm hold, pussy squeezing your cock like a fuckin flesh light as he comes again, his tight heat wrapping around you so perfectly you can't help but follow soon after. TOUCH-STARVED!CHOSO who trails his hand along his own body, feeling your sperm leak out of him as soon as you pull out of him. And then he feels the light bulge in his stomach from how full he was with your children, a whimper slipping from his lips as he leaned back into the pillows, a content smile on his lips.
TOUCH-STARVED!CHOSO who's always so desperate to have your hands or fingers on him (or in him) after that night, always begging and pleading to have your cock nested inside of his tight little cunt or always feeling you up so you would do it back to him. He was practically yearning for your touch.
-
THE NEEDY AND TOUCH-STARVED men get what they deserve and always will— especially from you.
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© duhlore,, do not repost or copy at all pls >_>
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