#i honestly do not know which one she will prefer
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The Survivors, part 5
(the last batch)
☢️Erwin Pries (by @frauhupfner )
Erwin knows what nobody else seems to - that it wasn't a government experiment gone wrong or an enemy bomb which destroyed that secret lab and unleashed the zombie virus - it was the ALIENS! That's right - wake up, people!
Erwin may look and sound like a kook, but his ideas are surprisingly persuasive - or maybe people are just desperate for an explanation.
☢️Todd Estrella (Sim & bio by @moyokeansimblr)
Todd is rather arrogant but he's a sweetheart deep down. He's not malicious, just big headed and bad at reading social cues to know when he's out of line. He thinks he's tough, so expect him to go into this experience EXTREMELY over-confident before realizing he knows nothing about simanity, let alone apocalyptic simanity. IE volunteering to do things he can't, being places he shouldn't. But he's an excellent hype man. I imagine this experience to be very humbling for him and bring him closer to simkind.
Todd's sexuality should the opportunity present itself, is everybody. But he does have a preference for whatever big strong man is actually the one in charge of everything.
Todd is afraid of everything but masks it with curiosity. His biggest fear is the dark and his bedroom in the UFO he arrived in had six nightlights but don't tell anyone that.
Todd thinks that because he's an alien he's immune to sim germs and grime. But he very much is not.
☢️Hernesto & Nicolas Esposito (Sims & bios by @gvaudoiin-tricou )
Hernesto was one of the scientists in charge of a failed experiment that cost him an eye. When he found Nicolas, he knew the boy was special, but what truly caught his attention was his bright red eyes...and not the fact that the boy was covered in blood, surrounded by corpses. In that moment, he knew neither of them would be alone anymore.
Nicolas never knew who his parents were, or at least doesn't remember their faces. When people started killing each other and resources became scarce everywhere, Nicolas was just a kid hiding in an alley among corpses. Maybe he killed them, maybe he didn't...he doesn't remember either way.
☢️Anne Cleves (by @clouseplayssims)
Anne was a rich, sheltered girl whose family wanted her to marry a much older, several-times divorced man for money.
If not for society collapsing, Anne would probably have gone along with it like a good, dutiful daughter, but now she doesn't have to. If anything good could be said to have come out of the disaster, it is her freedom. Anne would rather take her chances with the zombies, honestly.
(This is my take on a post-apocalyptic Anne of Cleves, lol)
☢️Almalexia Goth (Sim & concept by @veronadragon)
They were the fruit of an affair between a rich Pleasantview socialite and a local man, and as a result she has grown up with many complicated feelings regarding their family.
On the one hand, they are away from all of that now - on the other, ruins are awfully cold and uncomfortable to sleep in compared to the cushy Goth manor, to say nothing of rampaging zombies...
☣️Hoppie AKA Patient Zero (by @andrevasims )☣️
When Hoppie drifted into Fallow Shores, she wasn't feeling very well, so she steered clear of the other survivors.
She'd seen what happened to the others!
That was not going to happen to her - she just needed to sleep, she'd feel better in the morning...
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Part 2: The Alternatives
You thought you were safe just because it's been a couple months? No. Let's talk about the skirtless alternatives some seasons go for.
Neutral: just not gendering the suits in their basic construction is perfectly respectable, creates uniformity which is better for some designs, and is arguably less sexist; although as established we're not so much analysing the social implications here so much as what makes me swoon. Skirtless teams were a regular option earlier than you might think, with Goranger, Dynaman and Fiveman (and Sun Vulcan, but that doesn't count). Though it would be hard to argue that for instance the Momoranger suit isn't still very feminine. Just like with skirts, there's different colour schemes for the pants/leggings style: most commonly they use the main suit's solid colour or black, but white is also occasionally used. Which I prefer is contextual and I think they usually pick well for the individual design, though how rare white is makes me fond of it. I don't think Dynaman would be many peoples' thought for "hot sentai suits", but in motion those leggings are really flattering.
The leotard look: Part of what gives the Bioman/Changeman/Flashman trilogy its unique feeling, but it's still wild to me they've never gone back to it (the closest would be those male Jetman suits). But I'm biased, of course; if you know me, you know that I love those shows and that I love a space leotard. I do genuinely think it's a very fun silhouette compared with the long-pants look; but from a sex appeal perspective, there's something really magical to how much you can suggest with the same material by just moving a few lines around. Change Mermaid is a perennial favourite of Japanese suitfuckers for a reason. This is mostly for Changeman and Flashman, where everything is very clean and sleek and sexy, whereas Bioman is a bit more clunky by comparison, they were still working that aesthetic out and were leaning into the gadgetry theme besides. But I've come around on them recently, and it must be said the Bioman suits are using the "colours representing upper and lower layers" effect I talked about before to emulate long socks and gloves (on all five rangers!) in a way the other two aren't.
(Stray thought, but if you put a helmet on Farah Cat she'd look like a pretty convincing evil Flashman)
Bare leg: oh Battle Fever, you strange show, you. Like a lot of people, I don't really think these suits are, uh, good, per se? The big eyes and plastic hairpieces are a little haunting. Miss America especially, well, she's definitely distinctive, having both the only full-on wig and the only bare legs (in close-ups at least) in the whole sentai series. But again, memorable doesn't necessarily mean good. Still, I actually do think it would be cool to go back and explore the partial suit look sometime; if not often. After all, the complete enclosure of the human form is part of the sentai suit appeal. (I actually think exposed skin stands out less on more layered designs--Riderman and Tackle look unusual next to other Riders, but not as unusual as Miss America in a pink ranger lineup, imo)
Accessories: This is mostly a post about the actual suit construction, but as an addendum I do wanna mention that very occasionally the girl suits will have earrings, and honestly, that's never worked for me, because uh, the helmets don't have ears. Momoranger's are kind of charming in a clunky way, like the Goranger suits in general, and the fact they're detachable bombs does help. The crystalline Maskman ones actually would look pretty good in another season, but that team in particular look so good entirely because of how sleek and no-nonsense their design is. Having these objects sticking out of the helmet breaks that up. Rare point against those designs for me.
In conclusion: I'm glad we alternate between approaches, but bring the leotards back into that rotation. Three is not enough. Also keep doing the thigh-highs thing. Yes there will be one more of these, no I will not promise when.
Okay so Skirts on Sentai Suits
Part of a tokusatsu 20 questions going around recently was "do you like skirts on sentai suits?" Here's the thing: Not all skirts were created equal.
(Preface to all this: I know I am going to be unruly suit-horny here so for the record, give them to the boys too. Obviously.)
Broadly there are four colour schemes:
Suit is all its primary colour, including skirt (e.g. Ryusoulger, Denjiman)
Suit body and skirt are primary colour, legs are secondary colour (black or white) (e.g. Gokaiger, Dairanger)
Suit body is primary colour, skirt and legs are secondary colour (e.g. Goseiger, Liveman)
Suit body and skirt are primary colour, legs on the non-skirted suits are also primary colour, but legs on this suit are a secondary colour--THIS IS THE HOT STUFF BABY LET ME EXPLAIN WHY
Okay so it's about "something hidden" or "something you're not supposed to see". If the skirt and legs are the same colour, it all registers as the same 'layer'. If you have a pink/blue/whatever skirt over black or white legs, that more suggests "clothing over body". However...
The non-skirted suits also have black legs, right? So clearly, that colour/layer is also "okay to see". Symbolically, that's black pants. (Of course, tokusatsu suits aren't only hot in imitating the human form. But we're talking about tight bodysuits in this post, not big sexy monsters, so follow me here.)
But if you've got a skirt over black/white legs, and the non-skirted suits have solid-colour legs...now that's a symbolically "lower" layer than the 'costume' shape.
So thank god for ninjas. See, in Hurricane the solid colour is the 'clothing', and the grey is 'beneath'; the shoulders of the sleeves emphasise this (contrasted with the Gouraigers' black pants, whereas even they have grey sleeves). In other words, that's a colour that has to be covered on certain body parts to be 'appropriate', like skin does. In Ninnin, solid colour is 'clothing' and black is 'beneath'--extra emphasised by the thigh-highs, which as I recently posted about, Jesus Fucking Hell.
Like, this is all an illusion. Obviously, the colour 'beneath' is just a bodysuit. ShiroNinger's black legs under there look exactly the same as, say, ShinkenRed's. And let's not forget, nice legs in a tight bodysuit are nice in and of themselves. But the concealment...the suggestion of something forbidden...the whole colour scheme lining up to reinforce this...(And well, Hurricane Blue does even have blue 'panties' under there...which again, if you took away the skirt would just make the blue a leotard-style shape like the Flashman etc. suits and not feel like underwear at all, but the fact that it's hidden and you get brief flashes...)
Interestingly, there's a third season that achieves this effect a different way--Jetman:
Now, all the suits here have secondary-colour legs--but uniquely in all of sentai, here the boys get a short-shorts/leotard/something shape, not too far off the girls in, say, Bioman. This means that at least for the lower body, white is an 'underlying' colour (or pink for White Swan, a common colour-scheme-swap for white rangers in a team with white as a secondary colour). So you do get the layered/"this colour has to be hidden above the thigh so it's intriguing" effect...sort of...the upper-body colour scheme confuses this and makes it hard to equate it to an outfit shape, as I also recently posted about. (And ofc, imitating an outfit is not the only objective of a sentai suit--the Jetman suits look great!)
Potentially post 1/3 if I can be bothered to post the other two. Yes there is more to say about this. Yes you will get my opinion on every single team in the third one if I do. Yes there is something wrong with me
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my niece wanted pizza but my sister told me she eats a lot of those already and requested not to let her eat fastfood as much as possible during her vacation here, so,,,the options for her early dinner this lovely 5 pm are
1. hamburger steak w mozzarella-filled patties & mac n cheese
2. baked chicken w mustard veloutte & toasted butter bread
3. pork cutlet w cheesey scrambled eggs & rice
#id LOVE to make hong shao rou for her but my rock sugar is still to be delivered (ordered online bc local stores..nada)#she loves juicy almost melting pork so it wouldve been so perfect AHHHH#gonna ask the lil gremlin once i get back from buying vegtables shshshs#i honestly do not know which one she will prefer#girl i bought white wine just for the fucking veloutte 😭😭😭 she likes chicken w creamy sauces so but damn canwhite wine like#be less expensive and tall/big 😭#tw food#tw food mention#anyways mutuals if im in ur country u best believe ill make u a lil something heheh#bc idk how else to express emotion and care n shit idk man
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it’s crazy how much having a safe place to be yourself and express your identity and personality and interests, both online and irl, can change your will to live. honestly.
#i came out to my fav professor/mentor today#it was kind of impulsive but idk#she’s just made me feel so safe and supported and cared ab#that honestly all i wanted to do was tell her#and hear what my new chosen name sounds like when she says it. idk.#anyway she was So incredibly receptive and understanding and supportive#like she said things i needed to hear that i didn’t even know i needed to hear#at one point she essentially reassured me that she doesn’t and won’t ever love me any less as a boy#and she immediately wanted to call me by my chosen name and use my preferred pronouns#and she kept telling me too that there’s no pressure or need to stress and that if i ever wanna adjust the name or pronouns i can#and that gender isn’t a fixed thing ofc#she told me that she’s proud of me too#god i’m so luckyyyy dude#i feel so loved and cared about#also i said in an email recently that i was looking for a part time job (like totally as a separate thing i mentioned bc of scheduling stuff#and totally unprompted today#she started talking to me about getting a paid position for me set up with some grant money ig??#which we were already tentatively planning on doing next semester#but bc she saw me say that she’s trying to get it set up now 🥺🥺#AGH i kinda love my life rn#but i’m so terrified to and im even more afraid to admit that#anyway so sorry this is an excessive amount of tags#silas speaks#vent#trans#transmasc#trans masc#transgender#queer#lgbtq+
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checked the mail today to see that I received the card invite to my old highschool bestie's wedding next year and suddenly its much harder to be fine</3
#j.txt#like Im happy for her obv and im glad she thought to invite me bc we had talked it over before. but I still genuinely have so many#conflicting feelings about the whole thing and honestly a bit at her too at this point. bc of course im likely being oversensitive but#I just feel so resentful over how she handled some things with me and how she doesnt reach out like at all#unless I do first. which I get that shes busy and lives a very dif lifestyle than I do but it still hurts you know?#anyways ill get over all this eventually but getting the official invite just kind of brought it all forefront again#also I literally still dont have any idea what my role is supposed to be at their wedding? bc she asked me to be in one of bridal/groom-#parties but never specified which (bc of the transness of course) so idk if theyre doing mixed parties or what#but her maid of honor (also a mutual highschool bestie) has mentioned me doing events w the bridal party before so like#im assuming thats whats happening still?? her fiance is honestly kind of transphobic in that straightman way so.#i would Prefer not to be involved with his side of things yeah. hold on just reread the invite its also cocktail attire#tian ah i dont Have anything like that I dont think . I am not a cocktail kind of person. auhhhgh#throws it onto the pile of Things to Worry About Later ig...
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Around fourteen and a half, and the older brother for Ari and Elmery
he/him, having tits is a nightmare
Probably a hoodie and jeans, in reds, blacks and dark blues.
It’s complicated. The first time I fronted, both my other headmates had the worst breakdown ever (voice of insecurity went ballistic on us + external factors) and both Ari and Elmery went dormant (I thought they were dead, it felt like that). That was the first time I really fronted and I had a presence, but I went dark again with few exceptions. Tl;dr: I’m not really all that present in headspace unless the other two go dormant/I have to help them or urgently pitch into conversation, in which case I front and nobody else really can.
I think a cross between Michael Holden from heartstopper and the Detective (our OC from @.the-gimmick-authority). Basically just brown hair, brown eyes, brown skin, red clothes and a bad mood. yay.
I don’t really know, because I don’t front much. I think I’d like skating and throwball, though.
Again, no clue! Sad folk pop is cool, and indie music, and the Heartstopper soundtrack to some extent? I dunno, but something a bit catchy with sad lyrics.
We all kind of share a mental room, I guess. We have bunk beds and it’s a bit cramped and I’m mostly out of that room and god knows where, but when I’m around I have my own bunk.
Never tried, the others don’t play.
Heartstopper, I think. And this doesn’t count, but I like roleplay and I’m as invested in that as I can be.
A lot of my time goes in comforting the others and stepping in for them and fielding questions when I front, and I don’t particularly mind. I do like headcannoning and bantering with the others, though.
Honestly? I mentioned our OC, the Detective, and I think I’m similar to him. In terms of headmates, I’m the most similar to Ari
Me and Elmery are chalk and cheese.
Not really, no. Ari’s catkin, but I’m pretty sure I’m human.
When you share a head with Ari and Elmery (emphasis on Mery) teasing is bound to happen. And I don’t usually tease other people, but I can be genuinely hurtful at times. I do tease my headmates back a little, though.
i dunno, just a voice.
I don’t think I or anyone intended my appearance, really. I turned up, I felt like a Michael, and that reminded me of Michael Holden, hence my original appereance. I lean a bit towards the Detective, though, probably because of how much he matters to us.
My emotions/thoughts leeching out is rare. Usually, I’m separate and unreachable, but when I do front I don’t think anyone else really can. So, I’d say I don’t affect it till I front.
I don’t really know, nobody’s exactly complimented me before. Being told that I help the people I care about and that I’m a good brother/substitute/protector would be nice.
22. Ari.
24. @thatoneaceidiot tagged me in this, and while I don’t really know him, I think he’s really great! I don’t interact (or particularly like) most of Ari’s friends, but he’s kind and respectful and doesn’t singularly care about just Ari, and that’s awesome.
25. Not much. In times of distress, I hover below their perception and swoop in if necesarry, but otherwise most of my time is spend dormant.
26. Red.
28. They’re a method of expressing emotion, which I find difficult. I prefer maintaining neutrality, but when I’m happy, I use :] or rarely :). Emojis are a no.
29. I’m the only one who usually punctuates properly, but I do sometimes just use lowercase sentences with no breaks. I prefer good punctuation.
33. I don’t even know what I do when I’m not fronting or co-fronting, so I’d say in headspace.
34. It’s a good name! I’d consider using Jamie or the Detective, too. Because OCs.
35. Not silly.
36. I admire Elmery for staying positive and herself as much as she can, and for listening to us. :)
37. @wet-leaf and Michael Holden, I think.
38. They’re my younger sisters, and the only people I have. I’m exasperated by them sometimes, but I love them to hell and back.
39. Whenever I front completely, the others are dormant. I do talk to the other two sometimes, though, and I like that! I’d want to casually talk more, in a non-distressed situation.
40. Does a binder count? /lh (in all seriousness, not really. Maybe a compass, like the
41. A compass, a binder, a red hoodie, short hair, maybe a watch and a belt.
This was fun to answer, so I’m tagging the other systems we know: @mothco002 @the-artemis-sys @the-capricorn-system @nanochittle @abyss-behind-empty-eyes
@maryland-officially and whoever would like to participate. No pressure, of course.
Good Questions to Ask a Headmate
This is a list of questions I collected over time of good, general things to ask someone in a system/collective, presented in no particular order other than when they occurred to me. You can use it like an ask game, if you want, but I’d also encourage using this to get an idea for good asks, and come up with some of your own! And as you get to know them, just ask whatever questions occur to you.
Also, the receiver has no obligation to answer these, especially if it makes them uncomfortable. Nor do they have an obligation to tell you why they didn’t answer a question.
How old are you/do you feel?
What are your pronouns?
What kinds of clothes do you (or would you) like wearing bodily?
Do you have much of a presence in headspace?
What do you look like in headspace?
What hobbies do you enjoy?
What kinds of music do you like?
Do you have a space designated for you in headspace? What does it look like?
Do you like playing any games? What kind?
Do you like any movies or shows?
What do you like doing in headspace?
Who are you most similar to?
Who are you least similar to?
Do you have any non-human attributes or tendencies?
Do you more often tease or get teased?
What does your voice sound like?
What parts of your appearance happened naturally? What parts were done intentionally?
How much can you affect headspace?
What kinds of compliments do you like to receive?
Any particular flavors you enjoy (or associate with yourself)?
What’s your favorite out of these: breakfast, lunch, dinner, or dessert?
Who do you spend the most time with in headspace?
How much time do you spend near front?
What do you think of the asker?
How much energy do you typically have?
If you have a favorite color, what is it?
Do you have any special powers (unrelated to controlling headspace)?
Do you prefer emojis or emoticons? Or neither?
Where do you fall between proper punctuation and no punctuation?
Are you more active in or out of headspace?
Do you have tall vibes or short vibes?
Do you have a favorite flower?
How do you feel about your name, if you have one?
How silly are you?
Do you like animals? If so, do you have a favorite animal?
Say something nice about a random headmate!
Have you ever been confused for someone else?
What do you think of your headmates?
Do you usually interact with all your headmates, or just a select few? Would you like to change that?
Is there anything unusual you’d like to own outside of headspace?
What’s something you could own, carry, or wear bodily that would make you feel more like you?
Freebie! Asker comes up with their own question!
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Grump and not so grump (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Lol#Happy to be the happy sona! Of course ♪#I fiiiinally got a haircut again yaaaay#Actually all the Reds did! We all went to the local barber and they do such lovely work <3#We got our hair cut on smol's birthday and we're all adorable!#It's really nice now that it's out of my eyes and off my neck - smol's is directly in her eyes tho lol#As long as she's happy haha#Continuing the happies trend <3 This was doodled before the brain weirdness but I'm mostly back onto it :)#Got brain-work to do about it |P But better is good! I like better!!#And I like pleased <3#There was plenty to be pleased about! :D Good dreams and good conversation and games and ah <3 Happies <3#Poor Charm gets none of the above! Haha poor lad ♪#The TVAU grump was just a spacefiller so not much more to that#She is cute tho even when she's grumpy#And then the Kaiein thing lol - so I mentioned a bit back about going to meet with one of Kaiein's ''inspiration sources'' ahem ahem#It's the same as before - they're honestly quite ineffectual once you get right down to it#I read basically everything they do in bad faith because there's no established trust - and also I don't care if they're trying to insult me#If they're trying to connect it's sad - if they're trying to be mean it's pathetic - which I mean? Good?? Lol#Them not having power over me in themself is a good thing I'm glad that's where I am currently#Basically they got me a how-to book on digital art - with an emphasis on Photoshop#I know SAI is a lesser-known program but they were the one who helped me buy it - they've probably forgotten#Maaahh it doesn't matter - not even into Evil Time about it it's just so nothing pff#Someday they'll learn that giving gifts isn't the be-all end-all to making friends. I know I would've preferred nothing :P#I'm just happy to be confident enough where I am that while I don't like it - it doesn't actually do anything to me lol#It's a better place to be :)
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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Sier? I haven’t even met her! Laugh.
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#eternal gales#today has been a shit day but Im feeling a bit better now that I’ve drawn sier#long story short one of my friends is being harassed by their ex#so I’ve been in a blinding rage all day and combined with me not getting enough sleep and cleaning all day today quite sucked#but hey. I drew sier and made them a new mini ref so that’s gotta count for something#but yeah sier my beloved I’ve been thinking abt them all day they’re just so cute and I love drawing them#I forgive them for being a human character they’re silly and have shapes#I now have only 4 eg refs to go I think? which is honestly a lot closer than I thought I was I thought this was gonna be another year of#last minute refs for artfight and some that don’t get remade but honestly this is super doable#rly the only big problem is going to be fydd since it’s been so long since I’ve drawn him properly#the other three are just dodie tali and bloom which shouldn’t be too bad at all#now idk if the icons are happening but it’s definitely feeling a lot more doable now so idk maybe I’ll get to some of them#key word maybe I make no promises#thankfully I don’t rly have any other ocs that I feel pressed to make new refs for so I can take it easy leading up to artfight this year#I’d like to get some of them icons but that’s not necessary#hopefully sier will get drawn this year she hasn’t been attacked since her old design from years ago lol#but sier is also a character I’ve gotten other pieces of art of over the years so I won’t be heartbroken if they keep getting ignored lol#I don’t rly know who I’d like to see attacked most tbh#obviously I’m always happy to see art of any of my ocs but usually I do have a preference#so Im excited to see who gets attacked even if it’s only a few of them#I’m willing to bet teke will get at least one attack I believe in him#hopefully teka gets drawn too I love her dearly as well#anyways shower time and then sleep time gn gamers
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The same goes for anya x curly too it may seem cute, but curly was essentially a boy mom with Jimmy as the "boy." Honestly, I think at most anya and curly could be tentatively reconciled friends post fix-it ending or whatever which would take a lot of work on curly's part and giving a lot of forgiveness (If shes willing ofc) on anya's part.
obviously, do what you want i could literally not care less what yall do i just wish fandoms were less shipping-oriented sometimes :/
weird accidental character analysis/rant below
Look, I too, am not immune to the 'oh, curly's kinda cute' thing people have going on. I get it, but I don't want to be blinded by it.
I think people forget that pre-crash curly was a miserable and incompetent guy who stuck around and kept jimmy around for a reason, (while yeah the birthday scene made it clear that he's a nice enough person that pre-crash crew generally had a good opinion of him and he may seem better when side by side with someone like jimmy but that man is nowhere near the picture of a "well-rounded man)
The reason doesn't have to be deliberate or anything like that, it could be that Curly silently never grew out of the dismissal of SA/the female experience mentality which allowed someone like Jimmy to be his close friend for so long. or, in his own words he preferred looking at the bigger picture but because he was so focused on Jimmy's wellbeing (y'know immediately rushing to fucking Jimmy to assure him that everything was going to be okay after ANYA confessed to being pregnant and said that she fears jimmy enough to hide a gun from him that if it were not for the fact that curly would not allow it she would have used to the gun to protect herself. in that scene, it clearly shows that Curly prioritized Jimmy's well-being but also his feelings over Anya's even if if he didn't realize it. to Curly Jimmy was the bigger picture.
Jimmy is clearly not above abusing people he considers his "friends" especially someone who was catering to him to that degree, i.e the birthday cake scene ("both" of them) and the multiple medicine-taking scenes, etc so over the years of knowing jimmy, Curly could have subconsciously internalized Jimmy's sexist way of thinking, as to not create conflict (which is not an excuse) plus someone who may not be happy might cling to the people and disregard red flags in fear of isolation/losing something they consider positive (still not an excuse).
I don't think Curly didn't care for Anya or the rest of the crew, for that matter, but because he focused on catering to Jimmy, he hurt the people Jimmy hurt.
I like to think that Anya and Curly were very similar early days post-crash not just in the "victim to the same piece of shit" kind of way but that they both had the "thinking the best of bad people out of a sense of self-preservation". One of Anya's iconic phrases "Our worst moments don't make us monsters", I like to think that's in character for Curly to adopt that phrase as well for jimmy out of some hopeful delusion and or lasting affection for Jimmy (plus he was definitely delirious and in pain 24/7 mans not going to thinking clearly), especially since Anya and Curly were often together post-crash. but when Anya reaches her breaking point and ends her life it's Curly's breaking point too because it finally fully clicked how horrible Jimmy really was, as a co-worker, friend, and person. and that's why when Jimmy unlocked the gun case, we got the chilling, sardonic, and scorful laugh.
Ya'll have got to stop shipping Curly with Jimmy. That man is a rapist. He doesn't deserve the Yaoi fantasies.
#mouthwashing#anti jimmy mouthwashing#putting that tag there because tumblr keeps giving me pro jimmy posts and it's driving me nuts and I'm already at wits end with this fandom
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#musings#bandit polls#bandit writes fic#dr1 end rewrite fic#i actually considered having hers in second person from the beginning but was like#'bandit quit putting second person into things where it doesn't belong'#but it feels like a progression of going from ryoko conceptualizing junko as a separate person#to junko 'no this is you this is YOU YOU ARE THE ONE DOING THIS'#i don't know if the final progression then would have it be in first person - where ryoko accepts that she's junko#or if it would return to third person but be a /named/ third person where she doesn't use junko but uses ryoko#i'm not sure#but i do honestly want an answer to this if y'all have a preference#...by which i mean i have already started doing this but i can change it back if need be#...but also now i really like the idea of the pov switch over time reflecting ryoko's acceptance of being junko
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Welcome to day one of how many times can my mother tear me down and destroy my confidence in one go. How many days will this go on? Im not sure! Tune in next time for a brand new episode of Taking Advantage Of My Kids Rejection Sensitivity, youre watching the disney channel.
#Sometimes I really do just honestly kind of hate her. I know it's a horrible thing to say about one's parents who care for them but it's#true. With the way that she treats me and criticises me and takes every advantage of a chance to tear me down it just really hurts all the#time. I can't criticise her because she ll fly off the handle at me and say how many things she does for me that i dont apreciate enough#But for her she can say as many times as she wants that she doesn't like my hair and she doesn't like the way I dress and she doesn't like#This the way I look and she doesn't like the way I stand and she doesn't like the things I say and she doesn't like my beliefs#She can say she doesn't like my tone of voice and that she doesn't like the way i stress out about things and im not allowed to say#A negative word about her in edgeways when she's allowed to tear me down on a constant basis and make me hate myself. As someone who really#Struggles with a lot of self loathing problems and self hatred she really does just rip into me with no restraint constantly. She knows#That I suffer with some serious rejection sensitive dysphoria that I am trying to get therapist help for and she still has no restraint#When it comes to criticising me and everything I am and everything I like. And she has the goal to do this thing where she is kind of peer#Pressures me into agreeing with the things that she says which in turn just makes me consolidate those horrible beliefs about myself in my#own head. If I don't agree with her criticism of me I can't just say so I have to not along with her and affirm to myself that those#Things are true. That I don't like my own hair that I don't like my face and my makeup and my clothes. That my preferences are wrong and#That I dress too androgynously. That I could never experiment with things like pronouns or gender and that I have to agree with societally#Homophobic undertoned things that she says because I can't bare to have her criticise me again and again and again for critisising her.#I can't do this anymore it makes me dread every time she comes into my room to talk to me about some new thing she doesn't like about me. I#And constantly stressing about how much people dislike me and how annoying I am#And the fact that I'm literally hiding the things that I want to wear from her so i can put them on when i get away from her and yet she#she will still get upset if I criticise her for making me literally hate myself on a regular basis. she wont beleive me and she'll be#Confused if I have a belief that doesn't match hers and she'll get so excited when I even possibly hint at doing something to my appearance#that she likes and knows I don't. I worry wake for comic corner she wouldn't shut up about how much my hair looks really good in a style i#dont want to cut it. If I dress in a way that's openly queer she ll act like I'm going to get#and i quote “the wrong kind of attention” Because she thinks that me even possibly being misgendered because of my clothing is a#disgusting crime and that I should be the perfect Barbie doll pink pretty princess she always wanted her children to be. She wants me to be#Someone that I can't be comfortably and she's essentially forcing me to fit this mould of her preferred child. Which obviously makes me#Despise who I am and hate my own interests and style. And as horrible and hurtful as it is to say this#I can't wait to get away from her.#sigh#vent#harsh morning
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ik im talking a lot abt the books im reading rn (this is due to the fact that after eons of not having the time or energy i am once again reading books) but theydies i can happily announce that after 2 unsuccessful weapons and wielders books soulbrand has truly captured my enamoration once again i’m kissing keras lovingly and tenderly (the only way to kiss him)
#just got to the scene where he fights edria song & she's so sweet about it and he's so unintentionally flirtatious#ugh !!!!! babygirl <3#like dgmw theres nothing wrong w the first two but like they just haven't been for me#and its like there truly is no rhyme or reason as to why because i love keras i love dawn and reika absolutely#and i especially love seeing keras as . you know. keras. instead of as taelien (but taelien is my sweet angel forever so yk)#like its not like i prefer keras to t or anything i just like seeing his growth and his changing#so idk why the first two didnt like hook me as much as any of the other books within the universe#but anyway. soulbrand has gotten me thank god ! i think i should get the paperbacks for w&w to like#reread them and just see if the medium might make a difference#eventually i wanna own all the andrew rowe books but i do also have to prioritise cause i only have the first 2 aa books#and how to defeat a demon king i found that one second hand as like a library copy im p sure ??? which is cool#so anyway i wanna complete aa first and honestly i do also very much want to own wobm very dearly#but those ones are just for the collection of it all because i dont think i'll ever reread those physically i love the audiobooks too much#and i dont have That much annotating to do in those as opposed to the arcane ascension ones#and then we get into the shatter crystal legacy (not what its called cant right recall rn) of which . i think the second one is out#but anyway ive only read the first one but would love to have that one as well obv#ugh. i love this universe so much it truly is so captivating to me#recently read
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"oh, and since when do you know what's best for me?? you don't know anything about me other than how i like to be fucked." which wasn't his fault, exactly. honestly, ingrid preferred it that way and always assumed he had too. she'd always kept the people she let in her bed at an arms length....anything else felt too intimate. the problem was that admitting to her own complicated nature meant also admitting that he was right that she wasn't as unaffected by their relationship as she would've liked him to believe so, rather than admit defeat, she said nothing. "easy things should be just as easy to end as they are to start." which, again, only further proved her emotional entanglement but as long as she didn't say the words she maintained plausible deniability. when the skirt was finally within reach, she snatched it out of his hand with a huff, stepping into it and yanking the zipper back up her side until he said something that had her freezing on the spot. "——— don't be stupid, river. why would you do that?? you like your girlfriend, don't you?" but it was an interesting notion.... one that would certainly put them back on level playing field.
his attentiveness had the potential to make him the ideal boyfriend, and while he wasn't a bad one, necessarily, there was the whole matter of his chronic infidelity. seeing as ingrid wasn't his girlfriend, though, he didn't feel the need to use that trait for good. instead, he could be as petty as he wanted to be, gathering information and using it for his own selfish purposes later on, more often than not for arguments. "so am i! it's not just what i want, it's what's best for the both of us. you're just too stubborn to see that right now..." as for being messy and complicated, well... they both fit that criteria far too well. their similarities were perhaps one key reason why they wouldn't work together as an actual couple, seeing as they were both too volatile and stubborn to play nice and make amends. case in point, they couldn't even agree on breaking up. "uh, because? you play the part well, but i know you're not as unaffected by everything as you act. i know you care... about me." he supposed denying his own potential feelings about never seeing her again was futile, especially after he's already fought so hard to get her to stay, so he didn't bother. finally something she said began to get through to him, and he faltered for a moment, lowering her skirt slightly with a sigh. "it was easy," he reminded her. "before you tried to throw it all away." seemingly having lost his fight, river merely handed over the fabric he'd held clutched in his fist, accepting that he couldn't force her to stay forever. "i could break up with my girlfriend, y'know..." not necessarily that he'd make her his girlfriend if that were the case, but at least they wouldn't have to sneak around so much, and maybe that would appease her.
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Few things piss me off more than when I'm researching something, and I find someone asking the question I want answered, and the response is just "you shouldn't want that, just do this instead"
Today, it's me trying to look up a build for this witch farm concept that uses raid captains to manipulate the witches ai instead of using redstone
"Just use the shifting floors farms, they're just about as good" people respond... you stupid prick, that's not an answer to the question actually asked. I don't know about these guys, but me, I want it cause it's novel and there's no redstone, and I like putting bespoke prestige projects on my server... you might have noticed I tend to do form over function on a lot of my farms... so this is about form, the function is just a bonus
Second example, I wanted to see if there was any way to make Terra Invicta load faster, "just don't save scum"... you idiot, one that's just stupid advice, people can play games however they want, but two this once again doesn't answer the question
Like yeah, how dare people want to know if there's a way to make a game load saves faster when loading takes like 1 minute
If they at least phrased stuff like "sorry, I don't know how to do that, he's an alternative you might try", it's not helpful but it's at least polite
But man... I just get tired of people not answering the question being asked and instead answering the one they've decided was asked
(Actually, a legit real problem in the real world such as... with doctors who don't listen to their patient and decide they know what's really being asked. Don't do it, answer the asked question, or at least ask questions to confirm what's being asked before going off pig headed)
#anyway; pouring over unhelpful people one dropped a mention that Doc from hermit craft seems to have built this design this season#so now I have to track down that... while youtube's acting stupid like it always does after I've left my computer on a few days#no other websites have an issue; but youtube basically becomes unresponsive for like 5 seconds every 10 seconds#the video plays fine if it's already going; but if I try to start or stop it or click anything it doesn't#wonderful website you have their youtube; I'm sure it's not a windows style processor hog or anything#...I'm also in a bad mood; like I'm fucking hair trigger at the moment; cause of one of my mom's sneezing fits hours ago#I know it sounds stupid; and honestly it feels like I must be faking it or something#but when I hear her do that (and it lasts for minutes; she never sneezes less than like 20 times at the top of her lungs)#I actually start smashing my fucking head with the heels of my hands; like against the ears and temples#have to fucking race for rain sounds and turn them up to max; and then I just kinda sit there rocking like a crazy person#...I don't know... probably has something to do with... some kinda shit in my childhood... can't really put it into words or anything concr#but yeah... this kinda thing already pisses me off on a good day cause conceptually it's a jackass move#'oh; you asked a question? well you're stupid and wrong for wanting this; you should just be me instead'#like I could imagine if you asked someone how to do wood burning having them say 'you can't; you can only cut it with power tools'#that's the kind of mentality going on here#slime chunks are another good example; I wanted to know if there's a way to trim them cause they kinda piss me off#short answer no; they seem to be even more baked into the seed than biomes are these days... which sucks; but it's a full answer#but 'just spawn proof with slabs and buttons' is a stupid fucking answer you moron#oh shit; I never considered the obvious... thanks; it's not like maybe people want a certain vibe to a room they built#2010 ass builders; like yeah; in the end I'm just gonna discretely add spawn proofing where I need it#but... that wasn't the fucking question#anyway; point is this pisses me off anyway; but I'm also so angry on like... a physical level; everything has me spitting bullets#like I had to make my cats leave my room because physically hearing my mom sneeze just upsets me so much that...#well... I kinda lose control; not like where I'd kick the cats or something; but where I might slap them away#so it's just... fuck; I hate that I often end up raising my voice in that state and yelling#I prefer when I at least keep it together enough to stay in a measured tone as I'm like 'move move move' herding them out#but yeah... it fucks me up on a really physical level#even now hours later when I've kinda calmed down; Bart's laying next to me and part of me just wants to shove him away#cause I just can't fucking stand anything at the moment#on a intellectual level... I fucking hate it cause I'm not even that mad; and I want Bart here
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#dai: jolie richard trevelyan#oc: richard joly#grapecase plays dai#they are a rendition of a disenchanted if pc with a dash of sable one of my sherlocks [who need to get back to]#i am still on the fence if i wanna do bi cullen and just do a male pc [even if that means maybe missing out scenes] or do a femme form/afab#pc who is trans#actually i think they go with they now [mostly bc the mods]. MAYBE she/they [so i dont twitch whenever they call them 'my lady' .... i thou#ht i could do it soundless but im a coward]#[though it was fun trying to imagine their voices lol]#but when they meet krem it's all over!#i think their time as an apostate has given them a lot of 'youre too pretty for a man' which has put the seed in there#hence the face tattoo serving double as a distraction from beauty and that tehy are a woman*#sadly dai thinks women's shit sould be tight forming and they should have their nails done. but i have hc for that too#[they prefer bulky arrmor bc it hurts to bind. curse of the big tits.]#*but nothing distracts ffrom their eyes unfortunately#i wanted to give them merlin eyes. for a few different reasons. but i like the idea that their family is well known for their beauties wit#their gorgeous hazel-brown and dark chocolate eyes so dark it looks like youre looking at a clear night#but then THIS FREAK. further showing they are different#as much as - what i know of him - cullen doesnt deserve to be the romantic hero for this type of storyline#i refuse to put him with a woman bc im petty#and if must endure t-rex then it must be no half assing#tho im sorta feeling dorian would be good given the bg and expectations [but honestly bruh they took me out with that slavery talk!]#kendis is - probably - still my main#but the ideas were itching#gonna REALLY wait til i start bull's romance#werweewe REALLY. i promise this to myself#*sitting on hands*#shuffle your unwanted mage child into the circle and they come back the inquisitor and man and queer
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