#i haven’t posted myself in forever
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#i haven’t posted myself in forever#for a reason#no one comment or think thoughts about my body please#do i look coquette#mine#me#my pics#coquette
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Winter is fast approaching
#original art#oc's#My boy inge because it’s been forever since I’ve drawn him#sorry the radio silence I’ve been working pretty much all the time so I haven’t drawn much for myself in forever#and the art that I have made is for ~projects~#so I’m posting to show that I’m not dead lmao
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My hair is a mess BUT this is probably the happiest I’ve been with my hair in awhile I can’t lie.
#txt#I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it. well I’ll get it fixed.#but just shaking my head around & laughing to myself#I haven’t posted a selfie in forever. jumpscare.#I need to change.#AHHH
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Don’t say that! I love your writing so much!!! There’s nothing wrong with sticking to canon, and the way you write all the characters is amazing! You have such great characterization and the way you write emotions is just incredible!
Your writing is absolutely incredible, even if you may not believe it yourself you contribute a lot to this fandom and I know you’ve definitely made some of my awful days better just because I read some of the things you’ve published. Every time I see you post I get excited because I love your content so much!
The things you create are valuable and lovely because they’re yours! They are wholeheartedly and entirely yours! That is what makes them amazing! It makes it unique and beautiful and no one else can make it!
I know it’s hard to believe and your mentality won’t change just because I, one insignificant person you’ve never met, said this, but I hope someday you can believe it.
Until then, I (and so, so many other people, I imagine) will remind you as many times as you need. I hope you have an excellent night and I offer you hugs 🫂
Ohhh anon
I was having a moment of self-doubt and getting frustrated with my writing so I decided to go do something else, and then I come back and see this lovely message that makes me cry 💖
You’re so sweet anon, thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot 😭
#it’s just#hard sometimes#to remember people do like what I write#and I know I know I’ve been posting stuff pretty regularly lately#but like#I truly haven’t updated any of my longer stuff in what feels like forever#and that really depresses me because I feel like I’m letting people down#even though I know I should take my time#I guess it just makes me frustrated I can’t keep to a regular schedule even though other people seem to manage it fine#idk#plus how I stick generally close to canon#I guess it’s just hard to remember people enjoy that and don’t mind waiting#even if I tell myself I’m a failure for taking forever to update stuff#but all that to say#I really appreciate you anon <3 thank you#answers from the floor#anon
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i was fucking around with Snapchat filters on a boring meeting and I really liked this one ^^
#I also realized I haven’t posted a pic of myself in forever#so woe! my face be upon ye#selfie#my face#I don’t even remember my selfie tag anymore
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monkeys paw type situation
#i was going to watch every episode of doctor who this year. chat that’s not happening. i can feel the interest slipping#this sucks. like i should have seen it coming but it still sucks!!#god. part of it is just that i’m not as into fandom as i used to be in general. like i still post but i’m not a Poster yk#i think i’m only on tumblr for the community feel. i like seeing what my mutuals are up to and i like seeing cool art#and i like seeing silly little posts and i like seeing stupid memes. i haven’t found anywhere else on the internet w the same vibe rlly#also been here since i was fucking thirteen. fifteen on this blog. i’m invested#and it’d be silly to expect myself to keep the same interests that i did when i was fifteen for my Entire Life#i could go on a whole spiel about how i’m finally starting to feel like i’m not mentally 15 and stuck in my room but it’s ultimately irrele#i’m just not built to be into things forever </3 despite the fact that it always feels that way when i’m into it#hmm. i guess this is technically good timing i want to spend more time offline this summer. but also :[ why no permanent state of the self#morganposting#hey another excessively long tag rant from yours truly about inconsequential personal stuff!! it’s been awhile <3
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I honestly love and adore Jungkook so much and ever since I've found your fics, I've turned into a new level of delusional. Hehe, you're my comfort person, Art. Jungkook is happiness personafied and he'll always be a sort of my first love for me but it makes me scared and terribly lonely that I might never find this love I've created in my head and that a part of my soul is always gonna long for him. Sorry for dumpin it on you but I was reading your old fics and I feel oddly emotional. Hope you're having a great day :D
anonie i apologizehdjshdjshfh 😭🫂 i just love writing about love and i love jungkook so much so T_T
but i totally understand where you’re coming from !! he is just too lovely and attractive. and it’s difficult to find somebody you can fully entrust your heart with :( + entering a relationship is definitey not to be taken lightly. it takes so much patience, effort, and commitment. however i hope you can keep your heart open for new people. even if they only stay temporarily, even if they leave something behind, even if they break parts of it— i hope it never becomes a reason to shut anyone out because that only means that the right person might be the next one to come along 🥺
omg and it’s okay!! thank you for reading my older works <3 it’s a relief to know they’re not just forgotten and collecting dust. hehe love you !!
#i haven’t been in an official relationship in a while but i’ve been dating around and#i can���t count how many times i got home#sighed#and told myself#jungkook would never do this to me#but there’s like 8 billion people in the planet so i can do this forever#unless yk… mine and jungkook’s paths actually cross#jkjk#fuck i’m rambling again i’m sorry 😭😭#art’s post office ☁️
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9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
18: Do you believe in karma?
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
9. Still can’t believe it but yes, 2 poems 🥺🫶
18. Yes
22. Yup 😇
51. Depends on the situation and how badly I was hurt.
#im still kinda speechless that someone would write a poem about me???#2 absolutely wonderful people wrote me poems on here#1 was on anon awhile ago and I still look back at it#and the other on is recent that I haven’t had a chance to process yet#I like to hold on to them and read them a few different times#keep it to myself for just a little bit#before I post them#(also I usually take forever to figure out how to reply but that’s different lol)#only gone skinny dipping once with my two best friends at the time#it was just at my friends back yard pool so it wasn’t like in public or anything lol#pretty tame#but super fun 🥰#late at night and we skinny dipped under the full moon#grudges#I don’t think I tend to hold grudges tbh?#but it really depends on the situation#I was thinking to myself and was like do I hold grudges? and I was going to say no but then I thought of this one thing/person#I’m still a lil spicy over that whole thing#but I think it’s just cause it hurt me more than I wanted (expected)#so I think I’m still kinda healing from that?#which I find ridiculous and dumb for a lot of reasons but it’s whatever#I’m just a crybaby sometimes hahaha#but then other things happen and maybe I should hold a grudge over but it’s not a big deal to me#so I think it all depends on how big and deep the wound is and if I need time to heal#cause I think that’s all that grudges are - me trying to heal and maybe not doing it in a super healthy way#thanks for the questions 🥰#ask#lovely mutuals
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Someone tell me which hair metal man I look like before I cut it all off for summer
#the answer is my dad actually#haven’t had hair this long in forever#AND before anyone says anything this is post 12 hour work day hair I know it’s funky#but I was feeling myself in the mirror so#spoonspeak#ok to rb#wizage (wizard visage)
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i mean it’s just kinda crazy cause. and forgive me if i sound somewhat spoiled here but. this trip im doing to take more credits and get experience and make connections etc is obviously expensive and i talked abt it with my parents. a lot before trying to do it. and somehow my dad didn’t understand that yk we would have to pay for it. ??? and is putting me in this spot of ‘figuring out what we’re gonna do about it’ and it’s like dude. i mean i’m going i paid for my fucking flights you know i’m. regardless i’ll be there. and i make $10/hr i have not been able to work consistently and when you don’t have thousands and thousands of dollars just sitting there accumulating more interest it doesn’t fucking last. like what exactly do you want me to say? i’ll drain all my accounts and give what little i have to you? tldr my main point here is the only way this man truly shows any kind of affection is through money and since he fucked me up im glad to take advantage of that lol like why wouldn’t i. so to have it thrown back in my face is just um an awful feeling. like im not even worth this to you. this is just too much. it truly does feel like someone put a number on love and im just not up there
#it’s not like we ever took trips or vacations or had super nice things or even. you know. like fucking furniture#and to be clear even when he does help me out with stuff it’s held over my head so it’s truly not even a good way of showing. love.#if you want to say that. like of course i’m grateful that i haven’t had to struggle to make ends meet in the way many people do because i#have his money and i’m not trying to pretend i don’t but like. i’ve also had fucking anxiety attacks thinking about spending money and#basically how much i would owe him for my whole life. like how do i buy myself out of obligation here.#and i never could rn i don’t have Money money#but he truly pulls the same shit he does on my mom like ‘well where does it all go???’#dad. i don’t have piles of money sitting around. oh i made 2000 at my summer job? wowzers incredible that goes so fucking fast#when i’ve had to pay to break my lease and something else for school and bills and groceries#and yeah ok let’s not pretend i don’t sometimes go out with people. and everything’s so expensive now. but even so i have a heart attack#any time i spend more than like 20 dollars so. i usually don’t.#it’s just sooo… 😵💫 like. damn yeah i do wish i had parents that just Took Care of things and i didn’t have to worry. but it’s like. i do ta#money from him and then i’m just expected to grovel forever and ever#which is why i do need to be more financially independent from him i literally can’t wait for that day i need to make actual money at some#point but i am just not someone who can work full time and go to school and the only way i qualify for my scholarships is if i go full time#and graduate on time so. here we are 👍#abby talks#aaaaand post. lmfao
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I only have one chance to do this right and that makes me really anxious
If I screw up in any way I could be permanently crippled and I don’t want to imagine what my parents would do
#own post#txt#i think this is what scares me the most#not death or dying#but what will happen if it isn’t permenant#and i don’t know how to guarantee that in a way that won’t really hurt#but it won’t hurt forever#and that’s comforting#i think#or im trying to comfort myself with that#i think im using this blog a lot already#but i havent had a place to put any of this before today#so :B#it’s better than crying with thoughts i haven’t been able to articulate#so im glad i can finally make sense with them
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Tagged by @katkastrofa for the WIP game :)
Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs
Okay, so.. I’m very much like Kat in that I don’t sort my stuff into folders (well.. I do with my art, but only after it’s been finished and posted because if I stick a WIP somewhere I can’t immediately see it I will forget about its existence. I have the object permanence of a newborn. Also, once something is labelled a WIP it is never getting done. Either I complete it in one sitting or I might as well delete it), and the thing is, I don’t name my WIPs either. For reference, my gdocs literally looks like this:
I really don’t write that much, the docs above are all either already posted or abandoned, and my notes app is full of stuff I cannot post on here so I have close to nothing to show off, but.. I suppose I can scavenge around for some scraps here and there
Feat. improvised descriptions, because as much as I would love to play russian roulette with a bunch of “untitled document” and “new note” options, no one’s gonna care for that (no one’s gonna care anyway, but you know…):
Haya fic
How to explain self harm to a five year old
Gentle and sweet hair cutting scene (that is three weeks overdue because my life fell apart and the last thing I wanted to do was write)
Cruel and painful hair cutting scene (that I completely forgot about but actually never finished, and it could stand to be rewritten, so it counts)
Angsty UtOS bit (that I’m never gonna finish because I wrote like 100 words then had a breakdown 🫠)
And I don’t have anyone to tag, so this bloodline (read as: tag game) ends with me :P
#hey Kat don’t bother asking about the middle three. you’ve seen them all before and I haven’t edited them since#because I am severely mentally unstable :’)#I went through like fifteen different stages of grief putting this together to be honest#way too many reminders of abandoned WIPs that I will forever feel guilty about#no one’s fault. just trauma and mental illness getting to me#today is just that kind of day apparently#first day back at school always is. isn’t it?#especially after everything that happened#anyway. don’t wanna think about that right now#‘Haya fic’ is the exception to everything I said. actually#it is actually titled that#and is the only one I consider an actual WIP#but it would looks really pathetic if I stuck that alone on here so I had to improvise#okay you know what. I’m gonna shut up and just post this now because I can feel myself slipping into a spiral#and no one wants to read me ctively hating on myself for another 15 tags#that’s it. post over. everyone go home
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If somehow you haven’t seen by now, while the Super Bowl is being aired, Israel is striking Rafah.
The people of Palestine had been told to go there, they were promised it was safe.
And while this is happening, even though earlier several tags on Palestine were trending, only one or two are now.
I haven’t written any posts personally on Palestine myself. I didn’t feel I had anything to add here aside from reblogging and boosting whatever I can but please. We can’t forget Palestine or its people especially now.
This has gone on too long and gone much much too far MANY times and now is when we need to push harder.
Many of the heads of Western countries are either beating around the bush and wasting time, or outright denying the things the Palestinian people don’t have the privilege to ignore. They don’t have the choice to look away from their pain, or the pain of friends, family, neighbors, their country. And even through all of this they’re still trying their damn hardest just to live. And we all need to listen.
So now, especially if you live in a western country like I do, now we step it up a notch. Now is the time if you haven’t already to read up on Palestinian history. Listen to what the people of Palestine are saying. Hold firm on the boycott like never before. Any and every way you can donate, do it. eSIMs, aid, anything that will reach. Save as much evidence as you can. Videos, articles. Don’t let Zionists pretend all of this never happened.
Even if you think there’s nothing you can do, I’m telling you, keep going. Even if you feel you can only give a little, if we all give a little together it becomes much more.
Hit imperialism where it hurts. In the wallet. Follow the BDS instructions, find protests in your area if you can, boost as much information about Palestine as you can find, call your reps, and do not lose hope. The people of Palestine are not dead. They are holding on even through all this and we all owe it to them to do the same.
A Free Palestine will happen in our lifetimes. But it will be hard fought. So go out there and fight hard! The governments can’t hide from their own people forever. The companies can’t bleed cash forever. The people will win. So push until we do. Do not look away. Free Palestine
#important#palestine#free palestine#social justice#gaza#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#free gaza#justice for palestine#gaza strip#palestinian genocide#israel#end israel’s genocide#endisraelsgenocide#end occupation#gaza genocide#end israeli occupation#end israeli apartheid#current events#jerusalem#free palestine 🇵🇸#end israeli siege#I don’t usually makes posts personally and I apologize for lack of links in this one#but seriously#boycotts can crack oppression and they’ve done it before#no more complacency#boycott israel#decolonise palestine#end israel's genocide#from the river to the sea 🇵🇸#superbowl
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When I love a song, I’ll love it forever
#random post#smth i thought about earlier. yknow. I have a hard time picking favorites with literally everything#I also have what I SAY is a favorite of mine. but I have a hard time really pinpointing whats number 1 in my brain#like. I love lots of things. I like different aesthetics and clothing and art mediums and movies and shows and books and music and people#but it’s difficult trying to find the favorite. some things are easier cus there’s more that I DONT like so it kinda singles out an option#like with music. I love LOTS of music. but what does it mean when smth is a favorite? I don’t have a favorite genre cus I have songs I love#from all over. even ones I haven’t heard yet. music overall is one of my favorite things. I’m not joking when I say it’s a love language#I love the melodies and beats and rhythms and lyrics and voices. always and forever will have a place in my heart and mind#I hate questions that want to know favorites. isn’t it enough to just show you instead? to share everything with you? why do you need one#single thing to know exactly who I am? wouldn’t you get me better if you spent a day with me instead?#I can’t remember everything of importance to me. not all in one single moment. if I went through my playlists and told you what songs I love#and why. what books I love and why. what anything I love and why. you’d find that I’m a bit undefined. I’m an artist and a creator. strong#yet weak imagination. sometimes think better in the abstract and other times do better with what’s set in stone#I love sharing things with people. I wish people would engage more with what I share sometimes. but I never hold it against em or hate them#if they don’t haha. often I feel down when ppl don’t engage with what I share. I know people aren’t obligated to do things but. yknow. it’s#my heart in a platter. splayed our for everyone. bits of me I want to share. what I want people to see. I’ve sat down with people to share#music I like. one friend said a song I like was scary. some people make faces at what I play. some have paid it no mind at all. they don’t#even know how important to me sharing something like that is. hell. how important me sharing ANYTHING is. it’s so easy to hide away#everything about myself. yet here I am trying my hardest to open myself up. yea. wish I was able to connect with someone like that#in person I mean. I guess. I just want to lay down with someone and play music we love. explain why we love it. or try to understand why#idk I’m getting rambly. I just want to do new things forever. and relive the first time everytime#this isn’t a vent or anything. just thinking and writing as I do. typing helps me to keep my mind on track. a bit at least. as much as one#with a brain like mine can havagahhaga. I wonder if anyone actually reads through my tag rambles in their entirety. I know it looks daunting#so I don’t blame you if you can’t or don’t feel like it. it won’t kill me if my words are lost in the void#haha anyways yea :> thinking lots
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I have SO MANY unfinished animations just. Sitting. Rotting. In my FlipaClip library and I have done little to fix my problem with abandoning projects
#Most of them are fandom related#but I still DO have a lot of OC animations#I just. Uhm. Haven’t/Won’t finish them#but it’s FIIIINE yk????#who#Who NEEDS a Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal NY animation with Ghost ANYWAYYYS#I also have a lot of ones with just my little character guy in them#like my forever abandoned What’s My Age Again animation#I DO have some ship animations? Since I feel like I post an interesting amount of ship content on here?#But there’s not a lot#less then I would expect from myself tbh#There are a lot with just Ghost actually a lot of the songs I listen to remind me of that big bastard. I have fun with the guy’s backstory#I also have a lot of OC animations that are lore related#they’re mostly just storyboards though#I also have a forever forgotten one thats just cod characters but with snapcube fandub audios#I also have one that’s the re2 fandub with my favourite clips animated#I was really hoping to finish that….#Some are just character studies#I have a lot of trouble with drawing König’s mask so animating his face helps?#But yeah I’ll shut up now :)
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