#today is just that kind of day apparently

[bueckersstuff]

REMEMBER

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Genre: Childhood friends, separation, amnesia, angst, slow burn, smut, romance.

Description: Dead eyes, pale skin, no memories. Returning to Minnesota convinces your father that it might be for the best. The familiarity of everything, he says, might help. But you have no recollection of living a life here, except for the old basketball court just around the block from your home. And somehow, you find yourself walking aimlessly toward it, wasting your remaining time sitting on the rusted metal bench. No one comes here. Yet, you feel like you're being watched.

Then, one sunset, a vehicle abruptly stops in the distance. A woman with blonde hair steps out. Blue eyes, glowing skin... and suddenly, your brain snaps. Memories.

You almost feel happy, hopeful that you can regain your lost memories. But when you look into her eyes, all you see is hatred.

Chapter 1: Snapshots of Memories

"Are you ready, honey?" Steven, your dad, asks for the nth time today. You’re packing up all your things because you're going back to Minnesota, your hometown. "It's for the best," your dad says. And, with your current state, you're in no position to negotiate.

You haven’t looked in a mirror for the past three years, but one glance at your arms tells you that you've become skinny—like, malnourished-skinny. Gone is your rosy complexion, replaced with deathly pale skin. You could pass as a vampire, minus the fangs. Plus, you feel like a shell, void of any memories. The only memories you have are from three months ago—waking up in a hospital bed, with your dad hysterical and shaking from exhaustion, and maybe from the happiness of you finally waking up.

Apparently, you learned that you were involved in a traumatic car accident. Your mom, Emma, was the driver, and you were in the passenger seat. Sadly, she didn’t make it. After hearing that, you kind of want to hit your head for not recalling anything about your own mother. You feel guilty and weirded out that you can’t even feel sad, hurt, or broken when learning about the loss—because you couldn’t even put a face to the name your dad calls his beloved wife.

"Yes, Dad. Are you?"

And now, three months later, you're leaving and moving states.

Minnesota

You arrived at last. It was a cozy home, with your nice room, and you saw things and trinkets a 12-year-old might own. You're 22 now, you think to yourself. That’s what your dad tells you—he showed you your documents. You're a senior college student, majoring in Civil Engineering. Ironic, considering you're supposed to be so smart, and now you're just… meh.

You went down to the living room and saw your dad unpacking other things, so you told him you were going to head out and check the premises. There was this gnawing feeling inside you when you passed by that old, abandoned basketball court. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but it was the only thing that felt familiar.

And then it became a habit. Every day, you walked toward the court, your mind empty, then sat there for a couple of hours until the dark started consuming your vision, and you’d know it was time to go home. Your dad noticed your strange behavior but, oddly, didn’t comment on it—he just smiled.

One morning, while eating breakfast with him, you asked:

"Did I play basketball before?" You felt so drawn to it, but not enough to buy a ball and actually play.

"No, you preferred swimming. You liked to excel in areas where physicality and aggression weren’t present. You liked to draw, you could sing, not sure if you danced though, but definitely swimming. That was your therapy," he said, a faraway look in his eyes.

"So, why was I drawn to that place? It’s the only familiar thing here."

"Oh, honey. I did say you didn’t play, but you loved to watch someone who did."

Your heart stopped upon hearing that. I used to watch someone play basketball in that court? Is that it? Was it special?

"Who, Dad?" Your heart was thumping.

"A friend, honey. But I think she’s not around here anymore," your dad said with a sad smile, followed by a sigh.

"Oh." That was all you could say. What a wasted opportunity to regain my memories.

Days passed, and you slowly adjusted to your new life. You read through your past documents, searching for articles that might be crucial to your development. On your free time, of course, the basketball court became your personal meditation place. But ever since that conversation with your dad, coming here felt like you were being watched. You were certain no one was close enough to actually be watching you, except for the passing vehicles on the block. You thought you were just being paranoid.

Until one sunset, a car abruptly stopped in the distance. You turned your head, thinking there might have been an accident because of how loud the screeching of the tires was. But then, you saw a woman with blonde hair step out—blue eyes, glowing skin—and suddenly, you were holding your head because it hurt. Snapshots of memories flooded your brain, all with the same description of the woman, but with no face.

Once the pain subsided, you finally felt hopeful and happy that someone might hold the key to your memories. But when you came face to face with the woman—eye to eye—all you saw was hatred.

Dad, is she the friend?

[seungfl0wer]

*𝘽𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙁𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨*

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader (GN?)

Genre: Hurt -> Comfort (Enimies to Lovers)

Warnings: Cursing, Hyunjin is a bit of jerk I think that’s it though? Sorry for any mistakes or missing warnings!

Find Request Here

-🖤

He made your blood boil. He was always so kind and fun loving with everyone but when it came to you? He was cold, and just overall jerky. You were no better though, you always gave anything he gave you right back. You two always bickered and argued with one another. However having the same friend group meant you had to be around one another.

Today seemed like everything was crashing down around you. You failed one of your big exams, missed the bus home and now you had to be subjected to hyunjin’s bullshit. The only saving thing about the day was Felix. He has been your best friend forever now. He’s actually the one that introduced you to- that jerk. You couldn’t hold it over him though, Felix was to kind to.

Actually when you first met hyunjin you guys kinda hit it off? He seemed to really enjoy being around you and in fact you developed a crush on him. That dumb crush was still there but that Hyunjin wasn’t. You don’t know what turned him to be this way but you hated it.

When you entered Felix’s place you went straight to him for a hug. You felt like you just wanted to bawl, today was way too much to handle. The only thing that kept you going was knowing Felix had made some of his famous brownies. You wrapped your arms around him hugging him tightly as you let out a loud sigh.

“Today that rough huh?” He said rubbing your back.

“You have no idea” you grumbled.

“Well brownies will be done in 5 so at least you can drown your sadness in some chocolate” he said with a chuckle.

As you both talked he heard the door open, hyunjin strutting in. He had a look of distain on his face when he saw you. Truthfully hyunjin didn’t hate you, it was quite the opposite. However in his dumb man brain he didn’t know how to express his feelings. Actually the day he wanted to finally confess to you Felix had told him you were on a date. After hearing that his heart almost broke, which he hated. He hated you made him feel such strong emotions. Hated that when he finally wanted to confess you were out with another man. Hated the fact he liked you so much but couldn’t do anything about it. So he distanced himself, made himself cold towards you so he wouldn’t get hurt again.

“Hey hyunjin” Felix said with a smile. Hyunjin only waved before sitting down at the table. You rolled your eyes just hearing his name.

“Brownies are done” Felix said grabbing them out with his cute chick gloves.

You sat down at the table across from hyunjin happily waiting for the brownies. Felix handed you a plate and slid one over to Hyunjin. He sat down beside you all of you happily eating the delicious treat.

“Crap, I forgot I placed a pick up order. I’ll be right back. You two just.. stay quiet.” He said as he got up. “I’m just going across the street. Be nice” he said before walking out.

After a few minutes of awkward silence you got up. You cleaned up the kitchen for Felix, washing the dishes for him and putting things away. You turned around looking at hyunjin who was scrolling on his phone. You glared at him for a moment, a moment too long apparently. “Can you stop looking at me” he said not even looking up from his phone.

“Yeah, don’t wanna burn my eyes” you bit back. Making him look up at you.

“I know you’re not talking about looks” he said.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re excused” he said back.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You said angrily back.

“Wow I knew you were dumb but thought you’d get it. There’s a reason why you’re single y/n. And it’s not just your personality.” He said almost nonchalantly.

You couldn’t take it anymore, walking past him before he could see the tears welling in your eyes. When Felix finally came home he put the few things away and joined you on the couch. You curled up to him, cuddling up like you always do. He rubbed you back before either of you realized you started crying. “Hey it’s ok.” He said softly still rubbing your back.

“Felix I really can’t do this anymore. Hyunjin is such a fucking asshole.” You cried.

“Did he start something with you again?” He sighed.

“Of course, he always does. I don’t know why he hates me. But I can’t- can’t do it anymore. I’m done.” You said now bawling even harder.

It was about that time hyunjin came into the room. A feeling of jealousy seeing you cuddled up to him but also sadness as he watched you wipe away tears. He knows he shouldn’t have said what he said. He doesn’t even know why he did, He didn’t mean it. Always seeing how sweet you were with Felix made him almost angry. He wanted it to be him, but he knew how he treated you it would never be that way. He gave up long time ago with the hopes of confessing. Only Felix knowing how he felt because of a drunk confession.

“Hyunjin get your dumbass over here” Felix said as he saw him enter the room.

He walked over to the side of you, your head buried into Felix’s chest. “You either tell her or I am. This has to stop and it’s going to fucking stop one way or another” Felix growled. It wasn’t like him to be this way so hyunjin knew he was serous.

“Ok ok. Y/n listen” he started to say.

“Why do you hate me. What did I do?” You sniffled.

He let out a long sigh “you didn’t do anything. I’m just stupid- I’ve had feeling for you ever since I met you. The day I wanted to confess you were out in a date. And it broke me. I didn’t want to feel that way again. So I started to be an asshole..” he confessed.

“So you’re an asshole to me cause you like me? That doesn’t even make sense.” You said.

“I know I know. I didn’t know what else to do. I guess I’d rather push you away fully and make you hate me then.. get myself hurt again..” he said softly.

He reached out to you, wiping the tears from your face. “I know sorry isn’t enough to say after all I’ve said to you. But I am sorry. I never meant anything I said..” he said hand now softly resting on your cheek.

“He’s telling the truth y/n, especially the being stupid part. Doesn’t justify what he’s said to you but I know he’s liked you for a while.” Felix said.

“You definitely are stupid and it’s definitely gonna take alot to fix it but.. I was also a jerk to you too. So I’m also sorry.” You admitted.

“You were only that way because of me” he said.

“Well, moving forward can you both get along now?” Felix asked.

You nodded “I guess I can, but on one condition” you say with a smile.

“I’ll do anything.. just maybe no punching to the face or below” he said with a nervous laugh.

“You gotta take me on a nice date” you said taking them both by surprise.

“Really? You wanna go on a date?” Hyunjin stuttered.

“Yeah, I’ve actually liked you too.” You admitted.

“See if you were so dumb you could have been dating this whole time” Felix said with a laugh.

“Yeah yeah I’m dumb I get it. But yes! Of course I’ll get to planning something special” he said with a smile. “Can I cuddle you now instead of him?” He asked shyly.

You nodded moving to him before playfully slapping him “I deserved that” he laughed. He kept his word though. You had a great first date. He picked a beautiful spot at the park, making a cute picnic area. He also brought some paints out so you both ate, painted and talked for almost 4 hours. He brought you back to his place where you both curled up on the couch. Watching a movie and talking more before you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Felix joked about how he stole you from him but he was happy to see you both finally getting along. Finally being your true selves around one another. Not so happy to see you both sucking face but he could live with that.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp @ldysmfrst @felixleftchickennugget

[skyward-floored]

For iau requests, Legend or Twi being emotional support animals when one of their brothers is sick or injured?

Wind and Legend are a little younger here, just for reference. This is set a bit before Hyrule comes along :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wind had been driving Legend crazy.

Legend didn’t know what his problem had been lately, but it seemed like every time they’d crossed paths they’d ended up in some kind of stupid argument or fight. And Legend knew Wind hadn't started all of them, Legend had begun at least some of the fights, but it wasn’t his fault Wind was being so infuriating.

Which was why he’d decided to just avoid Wind today.

It had actually been weirdly easy, even though it was Saturday and there was no school. Wind was usually clingy and annoying as could be, especially lately, but Legend had barely seen him all day. And if Legend heard Wind coming, he just hid under the closest piece of furniture as a rabbit, and Wind never saw him. It was nearly dinnertime now and Legend had had a perfectly Wind-free day, and he’d enjoyed every second of it.

Legend trotted happily down the hall, wondering if he could keep his streak up after dinner and maybe even into tomorrow, when he heard an ugly coughing sound.

Legend paused, and poked his head into the bedroom he’d been walking past. His mom was sitting on one of the beds, a pinch to her brow, and there was a lump of blankets next to her, messy blond hair poking out of it.

Legend scowled when he noticed it was Wind, but before he could keep going, more of the ugly coughing rang out, and Legend realized it was coming from Wind. He looked miserable, and Malon hummed worriedly.

“Well you don’t feel warm, but that’s a nasty cough you’ve picked up, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” she asked, and Wind pressed his face into his pillow.

“My throat hurts,” he rasped, words barely legible as they crackled from his throat. Legend winced. His voice sounded terrible.

“Goodness honey, don’t talk if it hurts then,” Malon said worriedly, smoothing Wind’s hair out of his face. “I’ll get you some water, then I’ll take a look, okay?”

Wind nodded, looking miserable, and their mom stood and walked out of the room. Legend hesitated as she walked past, then poked his head in the room, and Wind groaned, pulling his pillow over his head.

“G’way Ledge,” Wind croaked, but Legend ignored him and came closer, looking around.

“I’m just here for my book,” Legend said huffily, and Wind didn’t reply, only burrowed himself more deeply under his pillow.

Legend rolled his eyes, and kept looking around. He really had left a book in here he wanted. It still counted as avoiding Wind, this was just a small break.

Wind let out a raspy whimper, shifting in his blankets, and Legend’s steps faltered, a tiny little worm of guilt wriggling in his chest. So what if Wind was sick? Apparently that had been why it had been so easy to avoid him today. Legend didn’t care. It made his job easier.

Wind coughed again, the sound rattly and dry, and Legend paused, flicking his eyes over to the bed. Wind made another miserable-sounding noise, and Legend stepped a little closer, studying him.

A single blue-green eye peered at him from under the blankets, and Legend pointedly didn’t meet it, going back to searching. He looked around and under the bed for his book, crouching down and searching all around it. He finally found it wedged between the bed and the dresser, and he straightened, hesitating as Wind kept watching him. He really did look pretty miserable.

“Ledge?” Wind rasped, and Legend crossed his arms.

“What?”

Wind hesitated, watching Legend in silence, and then he rolled over and curled up into a ball.

“...Never mind,” he whispered.

Legend stayed stuck in his spot, wincing as Wind coughed again, and he looked down at the book in his hands, considering.

Then he sighed, setting it on the bed, then jumped up and turned into a rabbit in the same movement.

Wind peered at him in surprise, and Legend settled himself in next to his brother, pulling his book over so he could read while he was here.

“You’re staying?” Wind croaked hopefully, and Legend huffed, opening to the first page.

“The lighting in here is best. That’s the only reason,” he grumbled, ignoring how Wind rolled closer so he was snuggled against him. A hand snaked out to pet him, and Legend pretended not to notice, focused on finding his place in the book.

“Thanks,” Wind whispered, fingers trailing through Legend’s fur.

Legend sighed, but wiggled closer to him anyways. “Whatever. Stop talking, you’re gonna wreck your throat.”

Wind nodded and didn’t say another word, staying quiet as he petted Legend. Legend grumbled to himself, but he couldn’t help relaxing into the pets as he read his book.

He could go back to ignoring Wind tomorrow.

[cosmowgyral]

Falling into Sin with the Black Tiger ~ Gilbert's 4th Birthday

▪︎ Chapter 3

This is a fan translation so please don't expect it to be 100% accurate. Creative liberties have been taken. All content belongs to Cybird. Reblogs are appreciated. Hope you enjoy!

It’s your birthday---and Obsidian castle is eerily quiet.

The only thing celebrating Gilbert’s birthday was the starlight from the canopy up above. No one else even mentioned his birthday.

The tension of thoroughly avoiding the topic that is off-limits is eating away at me as well, but I mustered my spirit to shake them off and energetically proceeded with the preparations from the morning.

Emma: Lies….

Gilbert: Thank you for the food. Everything was delicious.

(Today’s meal was enough to easily feed 30 people…enough to host a party.)

Extra large salad with ham, cheese and vegetables; meat pies served on a platter; a huge amount of creamy pasta and a large number of dry fruits….

Even though I prepared several other items to fill our stomachs, Gilbert consumed nearly 80% of everything.

(I was already full after eating only 20% of it.)

Emma: I’m glad you had a lot to eat.

Gilbert: That’s how delicious your cooking is.

Gilbert: By the way, little rabbit, I think it’s about time.

(…Maybe I got too nervous waiting for the right time.)

Emma: Well then…

Emma: Happy birthday, Gilbert.

I stood up and gave him the present I was hiding under the table.

Gilbert: Heehee, thank you. I wonder what you got me.

Gilbert: I was curious because you didn’t buy anything back then.

(This is the tensest moment.)

After receiving it, Gilbert immediately unwrapped the gift and carefully opened the small box.

Gilbert: I see….

Placed on top of a velvet cloth are cufflinks that were made directly by a craftsman at a jewellery store.

The method of taking gemstones purchased from a jeweller to a workshop to have a one-of-a-kind piece made is apparently not uncommon in mineral-rich countries.

Gilbert: This is your colour.

Emma: You understood?

Gilbert: Of course. You were the first person who came to mind when I saw this.

(I chose a colour I often wear, but he noticed it right away.)

Emma: That day, when we were looking at jewels, I was actually watching you the entire time.

Gilbert: Yeah, I knew.

Emma: Our eyes met many times.

Gilbert: But, it helped you think of a gift, didn’t it?

Emma: Yes. You have always been interested in me, not in gemstones.

Emma: I chose a piece of jewellery that represents me.

(It’s neither a rhodolite garnet nor obsidian.)

(I wanted to give my own colour, not a nation’s.)

(…..It’s a little embarrassing though.)

Gilbert: This is the best thing to please me. I love this gem.

It wasn’t just flattery; his blood-red eye gazed at the gem with affection.

(I’m glad that it made you happy.)

Gilbert: Hey, Emma. Will you put it on for me?

Gilbert took out the pair of cufflinks and handed them out to me.

I immediately tried to attach it with Gilbert’s shirt cuffs but it was harder than I thought.

Emma: I need some tips.

(I know how to put it on, but it doesn’t stay in place….)

(Oh I get it, how about this?)

Emma: There, done—

When I looked up after being satisfied with my result, Gilbert gently pulled my head close and made a soft sound.

Gilbert: Thank you.

Emma: Y..you’re welcome.

Gilbert: Hehe, your face is bright red.

Emma: …..It’s the usual.

Gilbert: Is that so? That’s because you love me as much as I love you.

The affectionate gaze that was directed at the gem, now shifted to me. It was unclear who started the second kiss.

(I wonder if this will also be a gift for Gilbert.)

He holds me by the waist and invites me onto his lap.

As our breaths intertwined, his cold hands started to unbutton my blouse, but I didn’t stop him.

Gilbert: Shouldn’t you say something like “at least in your room”?

Emma: Do whatever you want on your birthday, Gil.

Gilbert: Really? Then I won’t hesitate….

….....

(I asked him to do whatever he wants….)

Gilbert: Hurray, little rabbit.

Emma:…I..can’t move anymore.

( He made love to me in the dining room, then again upon returning to his room, and again when we took a bath together…)

Eventually, fatigue pinned me down to the black sheets.

Gilbert: So you’ll sleep naked?

Emma: …I want to wear clothes.

Gilbert: Right?

(I need to muster all my strength.)

Gilbert had carried me from the bathroom to the bed, and I somehow managed to sit up.

As directed, I raise my hands and Gilbert covered me with a black negligee.

Gilbert: Heehee, even when lazy you are cute.

Even the slightest touch of a kiss on my hair makes my tormented body react sensitively.

Gilbert seemed to be in a good mood and more satisfied than usual.

(Even though I get embarrassed from just thinking about it….)

Emma: Gil, did you have a good time today?

Gilbert: Of course. It’s just….

Gilbert: The only thing that’s been bothering me is that I haven’t been able to answer the question you asked me.

(“What do you want to do?” - I haven’t heard the answer from Gilbert yet.)

Gilbert: I want to ask you, Emma. Do you have any ideas?

Emma: ..Let’s see…

Emma: Do you remember the happiest moment of your life?

Gilbert: What about it?

Emma: The memories that remain most vividly in your heart might be the ones closest to what you really want to do.

Emma: Do you have anything in mind, Gil?

Gilbert lowered his eyes and remained silent.

Although his birthday was nearing its end, I watched over him quietly, not wanting to give up until the very end.

Gilbert: In the dance hall….

Gilbert: That was the first time I heard your feelings.

(….!)

Gilbert: The moment you cried for me is the one I remember the most.

Gilbert: And then, I danced with you. I guess it was a celebratory dance.

Gilbert: I still can’t forget your smile at that time.

Emma: I remember it too.

(I can still vividly picture Gilbert’s smile at that time.)

Gilbert: Emma….I’ve decided.

Gilbert: I want to dance with you again.

*skips to the ballroom*

The footsteps of two people echo in the dance hall where the stars in the sky shine like a chandelier.

It has been a while since I last intertwined my fingers with Gilbert and danced together.

Gilbert: You said earlier that you couldn’t move.

Emma: My happiness got the better of me.

Gilbert: Aren’t I just being selfish?

Emma: That selfishness makes me happy.

(Because I want you, who always sits on the throne as a great villain for the sake of others, to feel happiness even if it’s just for a second.)

Even if there are countless piles of corpses behind, I will continue to commit sins over and over again without hesitation.

Emma: By the way, is this the correct step?

Gilbert: You’re doing it right. You’re better than me.

Emma: I tend to get carried away when you praise me.

Gilbert:  Heehee, feel free to get carried away.

Gilbert: The more you laugh, the more vivid your memories will be.

Gilbert: If you do that, you’ll surely find a lot of things you would want to do, right?

Emma: In a few years, a selfish villain might be born.

Gilbert: That would be a problem.

Gilbert: You either listen to my requests, or you will be forced to.

Emma: But I feel like…

Emma: The request will surely be filled with a lot of love for me.

(Even at this very moment)

The gentleness of Gilbert’s touch, the warmth of his smile, and every word he says to me….

The love that oozes out from every corner naturally brings a smile to my cheeks.

Gilbert: You’re right. I love every moment I spend with you.

Gilbert: I hope you feel the same.

He tightens the grip between our intertwined fingers.

My warmth melted, and I felt a slight heat in Gilbert’s palm.

Gilbert: I’ll always be a bad guy. I don’t even know when or where I’ll lose my life.

Gilbert: I don’t know how many more birthdays I’ll be able to celebrate like this….

Gilbert: Celebrate me, so you would never have regrets. Make it so that it becomes an unforgettable birthday for you.

(….It’s fine if I’m hated or despised.)

(If this is how Gilbert can express so many of his whims…)

Gilbert: Let’s fall deeper, and become great villains together, shall we?

[Chapter 2] [Masterlist] [His POV]

[cuteniarose]

Tagged by @katkastrofa for the WIP game :)

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs

Okay, so.. I’m very much like Kat in that I don’t sort my stuff into folders (well.. I do with my art, but only after it’s been finished and posted because if I stick a WIP somewhere I can’t immediately see it I will forget about its existence. I have the object permanence of a newborn. Also, once something is labelled a WIP it is never getting done. Either I complete it in one sitting or I might as well delete it), and the thing is, I don’t name my WIPs either. For reference, my gdocs literally looks like this:

I really don’t write that much, the docs above are all either already posted or abandoned, and my notes app is full of stuff I cannot post on here so I have close to nothing to show off, but.. I suppose I can scavenge around for some scraps here and there

Feat. improvised descriptions, because as much as I would love to play russian roulette with a bunch of “untitled document” and “new note” options, no one’s gonna care for that (no one’s gonna care anyway, but you know…):

Haya fic

How to explain self harm to a five year old

Gentle and sweet hair cutting scene (that is three weeks overdue because my life fell apart and the last thing I wanted to do was write)

Cruel and painful hair cutting scene (that I completely forgot about but actually never finished, and it could stand to be rewritten, so it counts)

Angsty UtOS bit (that I’m never gonna finish because I wrote like 100 words then had a breakdown 🫠)

And I don’t have anyone to tag, so this bloodline (read as: tag game) ends with me :P

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

[friend-crow]

Maybe it's time to examine that instinct to automatically one-up or otherwise try to invalidate people who mention hardship, whether that be pain, illness, trauma, grief, etc.

Suffering isn't a zero-sum game. I assure you, there's enough to go around.

[korrasamibottles]

That different people can engage with the same piece of media and come out of it with wildly different interpretations is a testament to the evolutionary miracle that is the human brain. It is also very annoying.

[hideyseek]

ok not to say i am necessarily ... writing again. (bc i do seem to still be surprising myself with how badly i dont want to write -- or more accurately, how absolutely meh i feel about it) but! i did pick up my docs for the sex intermediary fic to read through again and it was surprisingly enjoyable to sift through the down draft and go "oh wow okay, after guardian bingo i can do this a lot more effectively now" and scribble down a bunch more worldbuilding thoughts

[myhairsadisgrace]

quick question what the hell is going on in Future Management and are the lyrics supposed to sound this horny or do I just need to get it together

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.

It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.

It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.

When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.

Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.

I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.

[bubaboos]

me rn

[kyouka-supremacy]

Mmmhh...

[front-facing-pokemon]

[amethystina]

Hey <3 really sorry to bother you, I read Who Holds the Devil since day 1, I absolutely love it. Do you know when a new chapter will be posted ? Take care

Hi there! I'm glad that you like it! And thank you so much for staying faithful to the fic for so long 💜

Unfortunately, this is what we call "catching me at a bad time" since today I've received unsolicited criticism, opinions, and/or complaints (some of them valid) on three separate fics, from three different people. So I'm kind of having my doubts about the whole "writing fanfics" thing right now. Or at least the "posting fanfics" thing.

(That'll pass, don't worry. I'm just being dramatic because I'm still trying to process and overcome all these new doubts and anxieties I didn't ask for but suddenly have to deal with)

On top of that, you happen to be the second person to ask me this question today, which is in no way helping my current situation. I'm pretty sure that wasn't your intention, but yeah.

Also, I'm afraid I might be getting sick again so, uh, there's that, too.

So, to be entirely honest with you, I don't know. I had hoped to get back to it sooner than this, but things are kind of difficult right now even if we ignore the shitshow today has been for me, my confidence, and my writing.

As always, I promise I'll post as soon as I'm able but, right now, I can't say when that'll be. So please be patient for a little while longer :)

You take care too 💜

[marchessa]

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