#I guess it’s just hard to remember people enjoy that and don’t mind waiting

[skyward-floored]

Don’t say that! I love your writing so much!!! There’s nothing wrong with sticking to canon, and the way you write all the characters is amazing! You have such great characterization and the way you write emotions is just incredible!

Your writing is absolutely incredible, even if you may not believe it yourself you contribute a lot to this fandom and I know you’ve definitely made some of my awful days better just because I read some of the things you’ve published. Every time I see you post I get excited because I love your content so much!

The things you create are valuable and lovely because they’re yours! They are wholeheartedly and entirely yours! That is what makes them amazing! It makes it unique and beautiful and no one else can make it!

I know it’s hard to believe and your mentality won’t change just because I, one insignificant person you’ve never met, said this, but I hope someday you can believe it.

Until then, I (and so, so many other people, I imagine) will remind you as many times as you need. I hope you have an excellent night and I offer you hugs 🫂

Ohhh anon

I was having a moment of self-doubt and getting frustrated with my writing so I decided to go do something else, and then I come back and see this lovely message that makes me cry 💖

You’re so sweet anon, thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot 😭

[arbitrarykiwi]

heyyy!!! loser namgyu lover here. this is purely self indulgent but i would LOVE to see how you’d write loser namgyu w a more innocent reader? not naïve or childish or anything weird like that, just a less experienced one. i literally die for everything you write, the banter, the plot, the smut the everything!!!! can’t wait to see what you have coming. thank u!

Introvert Meets Innocence

LOSER NAMGYU LOVER MY BELOVED!! Ugh your one ask resonated with so many people that we got multiple people requesting more loser!nam-gyu x reader 🤭🤭 and who am I to deny the people of what they want!!! I hope you guys don’t mind I combined these asks, they all came in around the same time and all craved the awkward lil loser man!! I hope you all enjoy 😩 thank you again for requesting !!!!

Warnings: smut (18+), drug usage (weed), forced proximity, oral (f receiving), porn addict/hardly touches women!Namgyu, cowgirl, squirting, creampie, probably more, read at your own risk.

You didn’t expect to end up locked in a room with Nam-Gyu tonight. You really didn’t. You came with your friend to Thanos’ studio- she was dating him.

It was normal! You’ve hung out with them multiple times, you and your friend group going over to the studio after a night out to keep the party going and mingle with Thanos’ group. You had to admit, the majority of the people in the shared group were not the usual people you hung around. You didn’t mind them but they were all very loud and excitable, often knocking back shots quicker than you can count and immediately escalating into breaking furniture. The poor coffee table in the studio has been replaced more times than you could count.

They also all seemed to enjoy the hard drugs- ones you never wished to try- you’ve seen what it’s done to the ones who do it. You stick with weed. Your friends often called you the ‘innocent’ one of the group. You wished you could defend yourself- but when compared to the other people who hung around you were innocent. Hell, half the time you couldn’t even realizes a drug deal was going down in front of you until your friend told you later on.

So anytime you hung with this group- you frequently found yourself on the small side sectional of the studio, next to Nam-Gyu. He was the most tame out of the group. Sure he was odd, awkward even, but after a couple blunts or a line of whatever substance he chose, you could potentially get a conversation out of him. He was brash, often calling you names or criticizing your blunt rolling skills- but you found yourself drawn to him. He was strange, very introverted- he only spoke if he was spoke to. Anytime you saw him out at the club he looked like he wanted to go home. Even now in the studio with at least 10 other people laugh and yelling- you can see the way his nose scrunches in annoyance.

You remember one time a couple months ago, you and him were in the same spot as you are now. You were helping him break down the weed, he looked over to you- you were wearing some sweatpants and a sweater, a drastic difference from the outfits of your friends were wearing. You were curled up into the corner of the couch, nearing falling off the edge of the sectional, like you’re trying your best not to invade his space though he had so much

He scoffs as he looks back to his rolling tray, his face mostly hidden from your view by the hood of the jacket he was wearing. “You’re fucking weird.” He states simply. You can’t help but let out a baffled laugh and look over to him with an offended look. “Ohhhkayyy..” you draw out with a grimace. Trying to decide if you’re more offended by the comment or the fact he spoke to you first. “‘S not a bad thing. You’re just…weird.” He says, like it makes it any better.

He looks back over to you and sees your uneasy and upset look. He’s cursing to himself inwardly, he guessed that didn’t exactly come out the way he intended. “I- fuck.” He groans, you can’t help but laugh, he really doesn’t know how to talk to people. “You’re sitting so far away like I’m going to bite you, you’re dressed like that when all the girls you came with dressed like…” he looks over to your friends across the room, each dressed in short skirts or small tops- all gettinf cozy with men of their own. “..Like that.” He finishes. “You’re just…interesting..I guess that’s the better word.” He mumbles, looking back down to the rolling tray to avoid your eyes.

You seem to relax more, realizing he wasn’t insulting you. “I just didn’t want to be cold, I was wearing something like that at the club. We just stopped home and I changed. Wanted to be comfy.” You shrug. “And I didn’t want to be in your space.” You say softly, fingers working against the weed to break it down, adding to the grown pile on the rolling tray you had in your lap.

“You’re not in my space.” He says, it’s a gruff tone. You smiles softly to yourself but think nothing of it, returning back to your task. You hear him sigh, almost like he’s annoyed, “That was an invitation for you to move closer. You’re practically falling off the couch.”

So now anytime you’re sitting by him helping him roll, you’re closer to him. Thighs almost touching.

Now how did you end up locked in the guest room that was upstairs in the studio!? Well that happened because your friend and Thanos seemed to think they needed to play Cupid. They had enough of the awkward slow burn of sexual tension that seemed to be brewing between you two. And it seemed like neither of you guys realized it. Thanos was tired of seeing the little to no game Nam-Gyu had- sure he would throw a ‘you look nice’ here and there or very obviously eye fuck you, yet Nam-Gyu would do nothing about it. And your friend was tired of you missing every hint Nam-Gyu seemed to throw at you- sure they were piss poor attempts at flirting and most of the times his tone seemed like he was bored with everything around him- but she saw how he stared at you, how he bit his lip harder when you came around, moving over on the couch to make room for your designated spot.

If you two were going to act like nervous awkward high schoolers- they’d play the same game. Somehow Thanos and one of your friends managed to wrangle you two upstairs, throw you two in the room and shut the door behind you guys.

Instinctively Nam-Gyu rushed over to the door, trying to pull it open but it was obvious something was placed on the other side to keep the door shut.

Nam-gyu furiously bangs on the door, “Dude what the fuck! Open the fucking door!” He shouts, pulling at the knob to no avail.

“You two are going to play 60 minutes in heaven!” Your friend calls through the door, you’re furrowing your eyebrows. “Isn’t it 7 minutes in heaven…” you mumble to yourself, confused. Nam-gyu seems to hear you because he’s muttering a ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ like you’re missing a whole part of the joke. You then realize exactly what situation you’re in, locked in a room with him and now you’re expected to be in that room for 60 minutes. You’re running over to the door as well, banging on it. “You can’t fucking keep us in here for 60 minutes!!” You call out. There’s no answer and the door still wouldn’t budge. But you still don’t seem to connect the dots, you don’t make the connection between your friend’s words and what’s going on.

You step back, your body temperature rising. This was so fucked of them to do. Knowing your attempts at opening the door are futile, you begin to walk back to the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress. Nam-gyu is still at the door, furiously jiggling the knob for a few more seconds before finally giving up. He’s huffing out an annoyed breath and sinking back away from the door.

He joins you on the bed, sitting a bit away from you, it seems now he’s awkwardly shrinking away like you’ll bite. His hood has fallen off of his head, allowing you to see his face. The corner of his bottom lip is caught between his teeth, his face has a slight flush to it, his leg bouncing up and down rapidly. Every movement of his leg makes the bed sheets rustle, it’s almost maddening, it’s the only sound you hear in the room.

“Are you anxious?” Your voice cuts through the silence like a knife. He’s scoffing, turning his head away from you and bringing once of his hands up to his face, biting at his thumb nail. What a fantastic fucking question, he thought. He couldn’t believe you were asking that, wasn’t it obvious? “No.” He curtly responds, his tone cold and terse. You shrink back in response, shifting away from him. “But your leg-“ you mutter out, he cuts you off, “It’s nothing. I’m not anxious.” He spits out a bit harshly.

“Okay…” you say glaring at him, fingers pulling at the fabric of the comforter. “We can probably just sit here for a bit and they’ll let us out.” You mumble, eyes trained on your feet. “They won’t.” He says… he sure knows how to swoon with his words. You’re furrowing your eyebrows and rolling your eyes.

In his mind he’s fighting multiple demons. He regrets telling Thanos you were his type. He wishes he wasn’t so fucked up the other week that he let spill he searches up porn categories that you fit. He searches for women with your hair, your eye color, your body type. He didn’t know why he let that slip to Thanos, he blamed it on the mass amount of coke in his system at the time. But ever since he said that, the purple haired rapper has been trying to get him to make a move.

He tried, as best he could, he wasn’t the best with flirting. Lingering touches on your hands as you pass the blunt, a hand laid out on your upper thigh as you talk in a group, maybe a small compliment here and there- saying your hair looked nice or commenting on a new shirt he saw you wear, hed even offer his lap for you to lay on when your head was beginning to hurt from the loud bass playing in the studio. He thought it was obvious, and maybe to someone else it was- but not to you. You’d just giggle and thank him for his compliments, even place your hand over his on his thigh and play with his rings only to go home without hardly saying bye to him. You seemed to never notice he had a thing for you.

But he knew that Thanos orchestrated this whole thing. And he knew that the rapper would not let him out of this room until something happened, until he finally made a move. “And how do you know that? They’re just pulling a dumb prank.” You say, he can hear the attitude in your voice, how you really can’t see the underlying message of what was going on.

He’s struggling, he really is. He wasn’t a virgin, but he might as well be. He’s maybe slept with three women, all one night stands where he was far too high to even remember it. He honestly hated dealing with people and that included any woman he took home for a quick fuck. He admittedly got most of his knowledge from watching porn. He spent countless nights at his desk chair, cock in his hand, chasing his third release of the night. And when he met you, his search history was flooded with key search terms that applied to your physical attributes. He was a fucking loser and Thanos expected him to make a move on you!?

“Do you really not see what’s going on here?” He’s asking looking at you with furrowed brows, his harsh tone making you shrink back from him. He’s immediately regretting the way he say it and inwardly scolding himself- he didn’t mean for it to come out that way. “60 minutes in heaven….a play on 7 minutes in heaven…” he says, drawing out his words like it would make you realize. “Yeah…so? Just a stupid change of the name I guess,” you respond shrugging.

He’s pinching his brow in disbelief. You really were so innocent. You really couldn’t see the situation your friend just forced you into.

You pout, starting to think maybe he didn’t like you at all. He was flinching away from you like you were poisonous, his face was flushed and pale like he was physically getting ill around you. “They’re not going to let us out. They locked us in here because they want us to fuck.”

His words make you gawk at him, he can’t be serious. “W-woah what?!” You say incredulously, “N-no that’s definitely not it. They’re just…” your words trail off into nothing as you begin to think of any other reason as to why your friend and Thanos threw you into a locked room with Nam-gyu.

“They’re just what?!” He asks turning back to face you fully, his pupils were blown, his eyes wide and nervous. “You’re so fucking naïve you know that?” He huffs, exasperated. He’s standing up off the bed and pacing around the room a couple times before he stands in front of you. You’re looking at him with an even more confused look, your eyebrows twisted into a look of hurt at his description of you. “I-“ your words are caught in your throat as you stare up at him from your spot on the bed.

“I ran my fucking mouth and told Thanos I wanted to fuck you. He was fed up of me talking about it and sick of nothing happening, me not doing anything about it- that he forced us in here to urge something to happen.” He’s rambling, his hands running through his hair, it looks like his world was crumbling. It’s like he genuinely thought you had no interest in him what so ever.

“Y-you want to fuck me?” You ask, like you misheard him- an uneasy, questioning tone in your voice as if you thought you made everything he said up and now you’re embarrassed you have to ask for clarification. He laughs, striding forward and planting his hands on the bed on either side of your thighs. He’s bent down, face level with yours, “Yes. I don’t know how you haven’t fucking seen it. I’ve beat my fucking dick to the thought of you for months.” He’s responding.

Your mouth drops open, you really don’t think he’s realizing what he’s saying- but to you this is all new news. You never thought he had any attraction to you so you never wanted to push yourself on him. Sure you found him attractive- fuck, he was so attractive- but you never would have thought he’d want to be with someone like you. You were tame compared to the rest of the crowd he found himself around. You figured he’d want a wild party girl. “I had no idea…” you mutter, looking at him like you’ve been bestowed the secrets of the universe.

He laughs, it’s almost mocking, “Of course you didn’t…” he’s looking over your face for any sort of reciprocation in your face but when he finds none and only finds confusion and surprise, he’s stepping back from you, realizing what he just admitted to and goes violently red. “L-look I’m sorry, just forget I s-said anything and we can just sit here until they unlock the fucking door.” He’s rambling again, thinking he royally fucked everything up. He didn’t know how to talk to girls, let alone you. You were different than any of the drugged out girls he’s fucked- and there wasn’t many.

You’re launching yourself off the bed and making your way over to him. You’re grabbing the sides of his jacket and yanking him downwards. You’re kissing him with months of pent up emotion. He’s fumbling, he’s not really sure what to do. His lips are messy against yours, his hands hovering in the air above your hips. When you release his jacket to cup his face in both of your hands- steadying him and grounding him to reality. He falls into a steadier rhythm, his hands placing themselves on your hips.

His hands are shaking on your hips, it’s endearing. He finally falls into a pattern that has your head swimming, you’re melting into him, beginning to moan softly into his mouth. The sounds you make send lightning up his spine, it’s better than he ever imagined. He’s backing you up to the bed, your knees connect with the edge of the bed and you both fall onto the plush mattress.

His hands reattach themselves to your waist, pushing up your sweater to run his hands along your skin. Your warmth against his hands makes him moan into your mouth. You can feel his erection against your stomach already. Was he really already worked up? You really had no idea how he could be. You didn’t see yourself as an overly sexual person so the idea that he was so utterly, sexually, attracted to you didn’t sit in your mind.

But you’re letting out a blissful sigh at his touch, your lips moving feverishly against his. “You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of this.” He admits as he pulls away, his lips brushing against yours as he speaks, his hand slipping up your sweater to grope at your breasts. You watch as his eyes flutter shut, letting out a soft moan at just the feeling of the soft flesh in his hands like he’s never touched a breast in his life.

The whole thing just makes you twitch under him, arching your back into his touch. “Can’t believe you wanted this…would have made a move so much sooner..” he says in a daydreaming voice, like you’re only a figment of his imagination.

You reach up and grab his face and pull him in to kiss you again. He’s caught off guard, a gasp he lets out is swallowed by your lips. You pull back with a giggle, “You were rambling.” He shakes his head chuckling and leaning back in to kiss you again, “My bad..couldn’t help it.” He says, lips molding with yours once again.

This time the kiss is more smooth, he’s carful and kissing you with a swiftness that has your mind reeling. You’re moaning into his mouth and arching up into his hand that still works at your breast. His mouth parts, his tongue licking at your lips. You eagerly part your lips, your tongue twirling with his in a mess of mixed saliva.

When he pulls back he’s staring down at your kiss swollen lips and blissed out expression, he thinks he must of won the lottery, this right here- you- you were the jackpot. He’s quickly pushing up your sweater and pulling down your bralette. When your tits fall free of the confines, jiggling as they settle, his cock jumps in his boxers.

Your arms quickly cross over your chest, on instinct, to try and cover yourself. He chuckles at your reaction, it’s cute, so innocent, it just makes his cock strain harder in his jeans. “C’mon….lemme see.” He whines, it’s like a kid who’s pouting. “S’not fair. You’re still clothed.” You say, a pout forming on your lips.

It’s almost comical the speed at which he gets up off the bed and hastily shrugs his jacket off, pulls off his shirt and drops his pants to the ground. You’re giggling as he nearly trips over his jeans as he kicks them off, climbing back onto the bed and straddling your form. “Can I see now?” He begs, leaning down to kiss you quickly, “please…” he whispers, kissing you again. His voice has a whining lilt to it that has your arms falling away from your chest and your head turning away so you didn’t have to look at him.

“Fucking hell…” he breathes out with a soft laugh of disbelief. His hands return to their spot, one hand on each breast, but this time his movements are soft, he gently kneads your tits before brushing his thumbs lightly over your nipples, he’s fixated on the way they begin to harden into soft peaks under his touch. “Perfect set of tits…” he’s mumbling, more to himself than you before he’s lowering his head and wrapping his lips around your nipple.

You’ve had sex a couple times, but truthfully it’s been with shitty men who, as you now come to find out, didn’t pay hardly enough attention to you. You don’t think you’ve ever felt the feeling of someone’s mouth and tongue working at your breasts like they were some divine offering that’s been bestowed upon them. But that’s exactly what Nam-gyu is doing. Your back is arching off the bed, your hand coming to cradle his head to your chest.

He looks up to you while his mouth is latched onto your nipple, tongue ruthlessly flicking over the hard peak as he surveys your every reaction. The way your eyebrows furrow and upturn, the way you bit your cheek more than your lip when you’re trying to silence your moans. He realizes then that you obviously hadn’t had much experience- the little pleasure he’s giving you now already has you a mess. And he loves it.

He pulls off of your nipple with a wet ‘pop’, moving his face back to be level with yours. He connects your lips with his, kissing you with months of built up tension that you can feel he’s pouring into the kiss. It’s frenzied, it’s needy, it’s desperate. When you two break for air, his hands are playing with the waist band of your sweatpants. You can feel the way his hands nervously shake- just ever so slightly. It makes you feel a little better- he’s just as nervous as you were.

He looks to where his fingertips slip below the fabric of your sweatpants, then back up to you. You both sit there in silence for a minute, it’s awkward- but you’re both nervous, both overly excited.

“We can sto-“ He begins to speak first, you frantically cut him off by lifting your hips up off the bed and speaking “No, no! P-please, continue.” You whine desperately, finally finding your voice when the threat of this possibly ending hung in the air.

He visibly relaxes, shoulders dropping as he laughs a bit, trying to slow his heart rate. He’s leaning down and kissing you again as he begins to pull your sweatpants off your legs. You help by kicking them off your feet, both of you fumbling to get the fabric off. You’re both laughing into the kiss. Once he finally pulls the sweatpants fully off of you and tossing them into a corner to the room, he’s focusing more on the kiss.

He stops laughing, slowing the speed of the kiss down to a languid pace that allows you to feel every micro-movement of the kiss. His hands run up your bare legs, feeling your bare skin along his finger tips. He pulls away from the kiss to look down at your legs. You’re wearing a cute set of panties, they’re a light blue with little daisies spores around the fabric. Christ, just when he thought you couldn’t get any better.

He’s moving himself to be kneeling in between your legs, hands running up your legs and pulling you closer to him, letting your legs hand loosely around his hips, your cunt resting tight against the tent in his boxers. He’s observing you like any movement he could make may send you running, it’s makes you try and shrink back into the plush mattress.

You look so perfect like this, he thinks. You’re splayed out on the bed, hair spread around you like some halo, your hips lifted upwards by where he held you, and your hands were gripping the hem of your large sweatshirt to try and pull it down over your panties. You looked so innocent.

“You look good…don’t have to hide.” He hums, hands running up your thighs in a soothing motion- yet you can still feel the slight jitter in his touch. It’s endearing. You slowly drop your hands from the sweater and opt to grip the bed sheets in a white-knuckled grip instead. “I w-wanna make you feel good.” He chokes out, his voice nervously cracking.

You bite your lip and nod, “mhm..o-okay.” You say, your hips mindlessly starting to shift against his cock, dragging your warm cunt along his shaft. You watch as he grits his teeth and his grip on your hips tighten. He thinks he could have cum right there in his boxers when he felt the way your pussy wrapped around his length through your panties. You felt so dirty, you’ve never been this vulgar with anyone. Your movements were experimental, moving purely off instinct.

He’s gripping the sides of your panties, fingers pulling at the elastic, he pauses looking back up to you for some sign to continue. You nod again, “f-fuck please.” You whine out. He’s pulling your panties down and throwing them in an unknown location in the room like your pants. When he finally gets to see your bare cunt, his cock is jumping, visibly, in his boxers. “Fucking hell.” He’s mumbling, hands coming to grip at your inter thighs and push them apart. “I-“ he chokes on his words, he wasn’t nothing more than to say something suave that has you melting into his palms- but he can’t.

The sight of your glistening cunt makes his mind go blank. He really thought that maybe sometime down the line he may have got lucky and made out with you- never in his life expected to get to see your perfect pink cunt- and here we was, at a VIP seat, front and center to a show he’s been dreaming about for months.

“Stop looking at it like that…” you whine, hiding behind your hands once again. He finally realizes how hard he was staring and shakes his head with a bashful laugh. “‘M sorry I can’t help it…” he says, his hands massaging your inner thighs, pulling at the flesh to spread you open better. He sucks in a sharp breath, when he sees your pink cunt and your tight entrance clenching around nothing, the idea of sinking in your cute cunt was enough to make him nearly cum in his boxers for what felt like the 6th time in under thirty minutes.

“It’s so embarrassing…” you whine, your bottom lip catching between your teeth as your eyes are locked on him- watching in anticipation of what he’s going to do next. “S’not….” He mumbles, bending over to place a kiss on your hip. He’s glad you only see it as foreplay, because in reality he’s stalling. He knows if he fucks you right now or even touches your pussy- he’s going to cum.

The countless nights of beating his dick to the idea of you, looking up porn videos only to imagine that it was you and him reenacting the scenes that made his dick so hard- none of it compared to the real thing. He spent weeks conjuring up all the smooth things he’d whisper into your ear if he ever got the chance to fuck you. All that practice was for nothing because when he’s here, having the opportunity, and seeing the real thing- his minds blank, he’s choking on his words, he can hardly speak.

“I’ve dreamed of this…” he hums out, his eyes darting all over your body. “For months….you being in this exact position…” he adds, you’re sure he doesn’t realize how his clothed cock begins to grind hard against your pussy. Your arousal beginning to make a dark patch in his boxers. He does this for a few moments, simply just looking at you and rocking his erection against your cunt. You reach a hand out, nails raking against his abdomen. “F-fuck, please…” you whisper out a breathy voice, eyebrows upturned in a pleading expression. “Nam-Gyu I need you to touch me…p-please.”

His mind is shrouded by a lust he’s never known before. The sweet tone of your pleading voice causing his eyes to roll back. He draws in a hissing breath, opening his eyes to look down at you. He begins to move, adjusting himself. He lays flat on the bed, his hands still holding your thighs open. He levels his face with your soaking pussy, his breath fanning over your folds.

When he looks up at you from between your thighs, he sees your worried expression, almost bordering on unease. “You okay?” He asks, his voice oddly soft, his chin resting on your stomach. You nod frantically, your face flushed red. “Y-yes!” You fumbled out, trying to show that you did want this. “I just uh-“ you swallow thickly “I know I said I wasn’t a virgin…and I’m not…but I’ve never uh…” you say, your eyes looking everywhere but him.

“Don’t tell me no one’s ever eaten your cunt before.” He says, his eyes wide with surprise. You squeak and cover your face in embarrassment, “Ugh don’t say it like that!” You say bashfully. You look at him through your fingers and slowly bring your hand down, you finally nod. “Y-yes no one’s ever…eaten me out.” It sounds weird to say, it almost makes you cringe.

He looks like you’ve just said the most ridiculous thing ever, like he doesn’t believe you. But with the way you’re closing your thighs to try and shield your pussy from him and can’t even say the act yourself tells him you’re not lying. “Oh my god…” he says with bewilderment, “There’s no way no one’s ever wanted to eat your perfect pussy before…” he mutters, his hands releasing his hold on your hips to push at your knees, forcing your legs open so he can properly see you.

You want to close your legs and sink into the pillows, try to avoid his gaze but the way he looks at your cunt, pupils blown and mouth parted, you don’t, instead your arching your hips up like you’re trying to chase his mouth. “I mean really…” he muses, his hands running up your thighs, pushing them open further. His hands stop on your inner thighs, thumbs pulling at your labias and pulling you open obscenely wide. It makes you whine, embarrassed. You don’t think you’ve ever been in this vulnerable before, this exposed.

“Cute pussy like this…” he adds, his thumbs beginning to run up and down the sides of your cunt, watching as you spill even more arousal, “Better than any porn I’ve seen… better than I imagined.”

You’re sure if he wasn’t so entranced by your pussy he’d be embarrassed by what he said, openly comparing you to the porn he watches so frequently- even saying you’re better. He’s looking at your cunt like he’s a complete virgin who’s never seen a pussy in his life. It just makes you more hot.

He’s placing a kiss on your clit, his eyes rolling back and a moan falling from his lips when he feels you jolt against the bed. He pulls back, his tongue darting out of his mouth to lick his lips clean of the wetness that covered his lip.

It’s like something inside him snaps when he gets his first taste of you. He’s situating himself quickly, laying flat on the bed and his hands sliding under your thighs to wrap themselves around your plush thighs. He’s diving into your pussy, tongue spread wide as he messily laps at your folds. Your hand instantly flys to grip onto his hair, calling out a choked gasp of his name that only makes him begin to devour you faster.

He’s so fucking sloppy, there’s no real technique. You can tell he’s doing it to simply taste you, to lather his tongue in your arousal. He’s using his hands on your thighs to guide your hips to grind on his tongue like he’s coaxing more of your saccharine arousal out of your cunt. Even with the sporadic messy movements it has you writhing underneath him.

“O-oh fuck.” You cry out, eyebrows turned upwards in pleasure and your hand comes to grip at his hair. He’s moaning into your cunt, sending vibrations over your clit. “Taste so fuckin good.” He’s mumbling against your pussy. “Can’t believe I’m the first one to taste this sweet cunt.” His words make your eyes screw shut and your face flush red. The vulgarity of the words making you feel hotter than before, you never thought that such words would only cause your cunt to throb even harder.

His tongue licks a long strip up the entirety of your cunt, stopping at your clit to circle over it a couple times, he sucks it into his mouth, eyes looking up at the way your chest heaves and your eyes screw shut. It’s adorable really, the new sensation he’s introducing you to seeming like it’s almost too much for you. He’s thankful you seem to be enjoying yourself because admittedly…he’s using techniques he’s seen on the porn videos he watched. “O-oh my god…f-feel so- hah!” You’re right words are cut off by a high pitched squeal, your hips jolting against his face. “You like that? That feel good?” He mumbles against your pussy.

You nod, hand gripping tighter at his hair, “Y-yes just like that!” You’re sobbing out. His tongue is vicious, licking at your cunt like a dog lapping at spring water on a hot day. When you manage to collect yourself enough to lift your head up to look down at him another moan falls from your lips at the sight. His eyes are screwed shut in concentration, listening to every sound you let out to make sure he’s doing it right, and he’s fucking his cock into the mattress of the bed. You can see the way his hips grind into the comforter rubbing his cock along the fabric of his boxers and the bed, moaning into your pussy.

“Oh my god….holy fuck…” you say breathlessly, your head falling back to the pillows, your eyes rolling back. Your hips grind into his tongue and he lets you do whatever you need- letting you use his hair to drag you up and down your cunt. You’re blinded by pleasure, you don’t even realize you’re doing it, all you know is it feels so fucking good.

He still thinks he had to be dreaming or maybe that he was far too high because never in his life did he think he would get to devour a cunt like yours. He was eternally thankful that no one else had done this before him, no one had eaten you out- because truth be told he was nowhere near perfect at the craft. He was messy, no real technique, becoming too excited to have his face in your pussy that he was focused on tasting you rather than coaxing an orgasm out of you. But it still felt so good. He couldn’t help but to fuck his cock into the mattress, he was so hard it was painful. Every mouthful of your arousal he swallows makes the throbbing worse.

You know this was a thing that could be done during sex- but you didn’t have a long rap sheet. A few men at most who were lack luster at best- and none of them did this. None of them gave you the pleasure of having a tongue lathing over your sweet cunt. Even if his tongue was erratic and inexperienced, it still caused your back to arch heavenward and you to cry out a slurred moan of his name.

He’s pulling away from your pussy in a mess of your arousal, his tongue hanging out as he’s panting. “L-look I-“ his breath catches in his throat, words cut short by a soft whine ripping through his throat, his hips still humping the bed. “I’m gonna cum inside my f-fucking boxers if I keep eating your pussy, I-i gotta be inside you..” he’s saying, almost pleading. He’s crawling back up your dazed form and hovering over your face.

You meet his gaze, you’re inches apart- breathing in each other’s air. You can see his face glistening with your juices, his lips swollen and red- just like your cunt. He wants to kiss you, but something stops him. He’s nervous and he fucking hates it. He was just tongue fucking your pussy and now he’s nervous to kiss you?! What kind of fucking sick round about anxiety is that. It’s so weird to him…the way you look up at him with such an innocent look- like you’re not staining the sheets below you- it drives him absolutely insane.

You look up at him like a deer and headlights and bite your lip, letting out a nervous but desperate ‘mhm! mhm!”, grabbing his face and giving in to the temptation you’ve had since you seen his face covered in your arousal. You pull him into a hungry kiss. It was so filthy, unlike anything you’ve done. You can taste yourself on his lips and tongue he’s moaning into your mouth in high pitched, muffled whine. The heat you feel within your lower stomach is a new powerful sensation that makes you start canting your hips upward in the air, trying to get sensation from something that isn’t there.

His hands are all over you, mapping out your body under his finger tips, groping at your body like he could never get enough- and he couldn’t. One of his hands departs from your flesh as he fumbles with his boxers. He’s pulling them down hastily and throwing them to the side. You want to pull away and give him the same treatment he gave you, but you can’t. He’s gripping your waist and flipping the two of you over, settling you on his lower thighs. You’re letting out a surprised squeak and falling forward onto his chest.

His hands smooth down the expanse of your body. Down your shoulder blades, the curve of your back, the plush of your hips, and then finally settling on your ass. His nails dig into the flesh, his head tilting back and he’s groaning. He needs to feel your ass bounce against him as you ride him- he feels like he’d die if he doesn’t get it soon. You look down at his stomach and whine when you see his thick cock.

For someone who was so…awkward and standoffish, the massive cock between his legs has your heart speeding up even more. You would think with something like that…he’d be fucking girls left and right. But he wasn’t, he was weird, and that excited you. The weird boy with a monster cock. You’re sure you haven’t ever had one this big, you’re almost nervous to take it.

You are nervous.

You experimentally shift your hips up, placing your cunt on his thick length, the warm wetness that envelops the underside of his cock makes his whole body jolt underneath you. And when you roll your hips, dragging your sweet cunt up and down his length, soft folds caressing his girth- his chest is rising and falling in heavy breaths and his hands move up from your ass to your hips, grip bruising as his head falls back into the pillows.

“I-if you keep that up I-i’ll cum before I even fuck you.” He admits through gritted teeth, his eyes screwed shut and his jaw clenched. Despite what he said, his hips move in motion with yours, with every grind of your hips your clit drags against the veins that run along the underside of his cock. “I-I’m not sure it will fit…” you mumble, embarrassed but telling the truth.

He stiffens and lets out a pornographic moan. You had no idea what you’re doing to him. The way you said it tells him you truly don’t know the effect those words would have on him. You said it so innocently, you weren’t even trying to tease him. He couldn’t decide if that made it worse or better because he is fighting everything in him not to cum just from your words alone like some pathetic virgin.

“F-fuck!” He growls out, canting his hips upwards so the tip of his cock head presses ever so slightly into the tight entrance of your cunt before sliding upwards to rub against your clit. “It-it’ll fit.” He nods frantically,

His hands lifting you up just the slightest bit. “Mhm…yeah you- fuck… you can take it…” he’s mumbling, and you realize he’s not even talking to you at this point- he’s talking to your pussy.

You’re whining, pulling the sweatshirt you still had on up with one hand so you could look between your legs and see the spectacle before you. You’re slowly sinking down onto him, when the fat tip of his cock pushes into you, a silent cry comes from your lips. Nam-gyu is fairing no better, when he feels your cunt begin to wrap around his cock he’s tossing his head back and letting out a moan that’s mixed with a laugh of disbelief.

You were a fucking dream. Perfect, even. He felt like he was tainting you, defiling the sweet innocence you carry. It’s an exhilarating feeling. You sink down lower on his thick cock, sucking him into your sopping cunt. “O-oh my f-fucking god.” You moan out, the stretch of your pussy around his cock sending jolts of pleasure and a burning pain up your spine. It’s a feeling that you’re immediately addicted to and want more of. “Y-you’re so g-god damn tight…” he says, you’re breath hitches at the tone, whiny- almost pathetic- like you’re cunt is squeezing the life out of his cock.

You’re lowering yourself down faster, you can see he’s only halfway in and yet it feels like he’s ripping you apart. “O-oh s-shit.” Nam-gyu growls, lifting his head up off the bed, eyebrows knitted together. His hands clutch your hips in a painful force that stops your hips from moving further down his throbbing length. “S-slow the fuck down. O-ho my f-fucking god.” He spits out between heaving breaths. You can see his stomach tense up, his nose scrunched and eyes screwed shut. He has to give himself the moment to breathe, to collect himself so he can fully enjoy what your cunt has to offer him. He does not want to cum quick…he cannot ruin this.

Your hands plant themselves on his chest, falling forward a bit. Your hips swivel in the air, grinding onto the part of his cock that’s already in you. “P-please I want to feel all of you.” You whine in a soft plea. He’s groaning, removing his hands off your hips to bring them up to his face, rubbing his palms against his flesh as he allows you to do take more of him into your tight walls. You sink down more, nails digging at the skin of his chest as he fills you. He’s moaning behind his hands, shielding his face from you as you finally take him all the way into your pussy. Your pelvis connecting with his with a soft wet ‘smack’.

Echoing moans fill the room, his hands coming to grip at your hips rapidly, holding you down like you were going to get up and leave him.

“‘S so big.”

“Fuck you’re s-so t-tight.”

You two speak at the same time in the same breathless tone. The feeling of him fully sheathed into your tight pussy is one that you could never, ever replicate. He’s reaching so deep inside you, you can feel his tip prod at your cervix. He’s splitting you open in a wicked way, ruining you. Nam-gyu opens his eyes and tilts his head to look down at where your pussy rests flush against his pelvis. Already, you’re leaking onto his skin, coating his skin in a sheen of milky-white arousal.

You lean even further forward, resting your forearms near the sides of his head on the pillow below him. You pick your hips up, the slow drag of his cock against your walls has you wincing and biting back a pathetic whine. You drop back down, the two of you moaning out in tandem. The addictive feeling of his cock completely impaling you makes you repeat the motion. Over and over and over. You’re vicious, picking up the pace with each drop of your hips. You don’t even seem to realize the effect you have on him, all you’re focused on is just how good it feels.

“F-fuck s-slow down….” Nam-Gyu is practically begging. “G-gotta savor it, y-yeah?” He tries to reason with you, but you don’t seem to oblige. You collapse forward completely, head resting in the crook of his neck. You’re shaking your head ‘no’ against him, hips driving up and down on his cock with no restraint. An obscene, wet, sloppy, slapping sound fills the room each time you slam your hips back down onto his, driving his cock deep inside your pussy.

When you disregard his plea and do exactly the opposite he swears he might have to marry you- he’d never say that openly though. His hands move to your ass, gripping the flesh until small crescents form where his nails dig into the soft skin. In his hands, he can feel the way the fat of your ass bounces, rippling underneath his palms every time you move. He’s using his hands as leverage to help lift you up and down, heightening the pleasure you’re experiencing even more.

In the minimal experience you’ve had, it’s always been painfully vanilla- always missionary. You don’t understand why you’ve never done this sooner, the way his cock dives so deep into you, reaching places no one else has reached before- it’s making you dumb. Your mind is blank, your vision hazy- all you can think about it’s reaching your climax. And every, delicious drop of your ass onto his pelvis pushes you closer and closer to that sweet release.

You two don’t even care about the fact there’s a whole group of people downstairs or even potentially listening in on what’s happening in the room. Moans, whines, and heavy breaths bounce off the walls- surely echoing throughout the studio you’re getting railed in.

“F-feels s-so g-good.” You cry out, your lips right next to his ear, each word broken up by you bouncing down on his cock. You push yourself up a bit to look at the man below you. Nam-gyu is just as fucked out as you are if not more. When he feels you sit up his eyes open, being greeted with the beautiful sight of your tits bouncing in his face with each thrust. He can’t help himself, he’s forcing his head and upper body up off the bed to latch his mouth on your chest. His teeth and tongue are working in a devious partnership against your skin, marking your flesh in blue, red and purple marks.

He pulls away from your breasts, head falling back onto the pillows, his hands tightening on your ass as he begins to fuck himself up into you. “Y-you have n-no fucking….god damn….no fucking clue how good you f-feel.” He rasps out, “riding m-me so we-well.” His voice is cracking, becoming higher pitched, he’s close. The dirty words and praise, though not spoken with a deep raspy voice, makes you lean back forward to hide your face in his neck to avoid eye contact.

You sink into his body, your back arching more. It allows your hips to snap down onto his in a barbaric way. Nam-gyu moans out your name. Hearing his name fall your lips is a nearly angelic song that has your eyes fluttering shut. He can hardly take it, he’s sure if you kept this up he was going to be ridden to tears.

He can’t hold back anymore, the tight squeeze of your cunt and the way you are coating his cock, it’s too much- he’s going to cum. “P-please let me… ohmygod… l-let me cum inside..” he’s whining into your ear, your nails dig in harder to his chest at his words. You hear him let out a strangled gasp when your cunt clenches down on him, “o-oh fuck you liked that?!” He asks breathlessly, his cock still jackhammering up into you. “You like the idea of me cumming in your pussy? Fuckin’ squeezing me so hard when i-im talking about it” He asks again, rambling in a needy tone. The words have you cringing in embarrassment- never in your life did you think the idea would turn you on- but it does.

You’re nodding into his shoulder, a weak and breathless “yes, I-inside” coming from your lips, your hair tickling his neck. “Oh my god y-yes, f-fuck thankyouthankyou.” He’s babbling out. He shifts, bending his knees and planting his feet on the bed. He begins to drill is cock up into your cunt. It’s a pace that has you crying out into his neck, jolting against his body mindlessly. His grip on your ass is bruising, he’s using the flesh as leverage to drag you down on his thick length. “Gonna feel so f-fucking good to fill you up. Fuck! Cunts’ gonna look so good with my cum spilling out.”

He’s mindlessly babbling, the feeling of your tight cunt gripping his dick like a vice has him in a dumb haze. All he can think about is cumming balls deep inside your walls. “Y-you close?” He asks, his shoulder nudging your face to get you to pull your head up to look at him. You use all your strength to sit up, looking down at him. Your hair falls down the sides of your face, shielding him in a low light that makes him look even more attractive, highlighting his sharp features and darkening his eyes even more than they were.

You nod, your hand splaying out on his sternum to keep yourself upright. You look down at him and nod, your body bouncing with watch thrust. You let out a ‘uh-huh.’ through your bit lip, your orgasm beginning to blossom from deep within you. Every time his fat cock-head bullies its way deep inside your cunt, brushing against your g-spot to kiss against your cervix, you’re letting out a wanton cry of his name.

“C-cum for me…f-fuck…need to feel you soak my cock.” One of his hands is slipping in between the two of you, his thumb rubbing against your clit, flicking against the sensitive bud in rapid motions. “F-fuck! Nam-gyu! Oh my fucking god!” You cry out, your eyebrows turning up as you feel yourself about to cum. He doesn’t let up, he’s brutally thrusting into your cunt a wet sloshing sound begins to come from your cunt.

It feels different than any orgasm you’ve had, you’ve never felt something like this. It almost feels like too much. You almost think you’re going to pee. “W-wait ‘s too much!” You’re whining out, despite your protests your hips are rutting against his fingers and slamming back into each one of his thrusts. “F-fuck are you gonna squirt??” He asks with a proud grin on his face- you really were just like his dreams.

“W-what?” You struggle to get out. Fuck you just got even better, so innocent you don’t even know what’s about to happen. He’s only seen it in porn, and he’s watched enough of it to know the signs- the way your cunt keeps getting louder and the way you’re beginning to shake violently- he knows what’s about to happen. But you don’t and it’s so fucking cute.

“Relax. L-let go, ‘s normal.” He rasps out, fingers working quicker at your clit and his cock piledriving up into your sopping hole with no remorse. You have no other option but to listen to him. Your orgasm hits you like a freight train, you’re falling forward onto him and sobbing out into his neck. Your orgasm is so much harder than anyone than before, your cum gushing out of you like a fountain. Anytime he thrusts into you it splashes out of you in a lewd spray that coats the sheets below you.

The way your cunt is sucking his cock in like you’re trying to milk him and spasming violently around him sends him hurling towards his end. You can feel the way his thick load fills you, every rope painting your insides white. He lazily continues to thrust up into you, trying to drag out his orgasm and yours. You can feel his cum spill out of you and around his cock only for the next thrust to fuck it back into you.

You’re panting into his neck, soft moans falling from your lips as his softening cock grinds into you. He thinks he’s in heaven and he never wants to leave. His legs flatten out, dropping you all the way down on his lap. You whine, overstimulated. He’s running a hand up your back in a soothing motion. “I k-know..please…just want to be inside you a little longer.” He coos in a pleading voice. You don’t oppose, you just nod limply into his neck, lips placing light kisses on his skin. It was an honest innocent gesture, but when he feels your lips against his skin his cock is begging to harden inside you.

You two have been far too focused on other things to notice that when you were locked in this room- you weren’t actually locked in. Thanos and your friend only stayed to hold the door for a couple minutes, the drugs downstairs calling to them louder than the idea of keeping the door shut. The door would have been able to be opened by the time you born first sat down on the bed.

The loser!namgyu / awkward!namgyu is becoming a fave of mine. It’s so fucking fun to write!!! He’s so ummy 😩. I hope all you Loser!namgyu lovers enjoyed!!! - <3 kiwi

Queue for the next 5 upcoming requests: DeadbeadBabydaddy! Namgyu x reader smut , Namgyu x reader angst into fluff , Myung-Gi x reader x Thanos smut , Sub!Needy!Nam-gyu x reader x Thanos , Thanos x reader smut

If you don’t see your request on the queue just yet, don’t fret 🫶 I’m working my way through them and after each one is posted the queue will update to the next 5 requests that I have in my inbox. I try my best to work in the order of which they were received. Requests are still open just be aware that it will take a bit for me to get to it, but I absolutely will get to it!

[daryltwdixon]

hello dear!! i dont know if your are still taking requests or not, but if do you i would really love to see you write something fluff with a drunk daryl and reader, where he totally forgot that they are dating and just start acting shy and awkward around her, i know its cliche but i really love how you write daryl and think it would be so cute to see something like that written by you😭, but i totally understand if you are busy, i hope you are having a great day!🥰

A drunk Daryl grows uncharacteristically shy around you, forgetting for a moment that you're together.

author notes: I just want to say its not v common for people who are drinking to forget who their s/o's are, but anything for you lolol, enjoy!!! x

thank you for the love!!!

The Alexandria dinner party is louder than usual, laughter spilling out into the quiet night. Someone had insisted on opening the last few bottles of wine, and you watch with amusement as Daryl, leaning against the far wall, swirls the red liquid in his glass like it’s some kind of trap.

“Never took you for a wine guy,” you tease, stepping closer. His eyes dart to yours, and the flush on his face deepens. You figure the alcohol’s working its magic, though Daryl had always been shy about these kinds of things—especially in a crowd.

“Don’t even taste right,” he mutters, setting the glass on a nearby table like it might bite him.

You grin. “Then why drink it?”

He shrugs, glancing at you sideways. The usual ease between you feels a little... off. His gaze flicks to your face, then away again, like he’s avoiding something. You tilt your head, trying to figure out what’s wrong, when his voice breaks the quiet.

“You look real nice tonight.”

The words come out low and shy, almost like he hadn’t meant to say them. You blink, surprised, but before you can respond, he fumbles to add, “Not that ya don’t always, but... I mean, yeah.”

“Daryl,” you say, trying to catch his eye. He’s looking anywhere but at you now, cheeks burning. “Are you okay?”

“‘M fine,” he grumbles, crossing his arms. But the way he shifts on his feet, the nervous way he rubs the back of his neck—it’s not like him. You step closer, studying him, until something clicks.

“Oh my god.” You can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up. “You don’t remember, do you?”

His brows furrow, lips parting in confusion. “Remember what?”

You can’t believe it. “You’re acting like we just met or something.”

Daryl stares at you, his eyes swimming with haze, but he blinks hard, trying to piece it all together. His eyes widen slightly. “Wait... we’re—?”

“Yes, Daryl,” you say, trying to suppress another laugh. “We’re together, at least I thought so,”

The realization hits him like a brick wall. His mouth opens, then closes, and for a second he just stares at you, dumbfounded. “Shit,” he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face. “I—uh... forgot.”

“Obviously,” you tease, stepping even closer until you’re standing right in front of him. “Should I be worried you’re forgetting about me already?”

“Nah,” he says quickly, his voice quiet but insistent. “Just... too much wine. ‘S all.”

You bite your lip, trying not to smile too wide at how bashful he looks. The Daryl you know is rarely this unguarded, and it’s endearing. But as you watch him glance down at you—his face still flushed and his nerves practically visible—you catch something softer in his expression. His hand drifts to the back of his neck again, but this time, a crooked grin follows.

“You’re... somethin’ else,” he murmurs under his breath, almost to himself. “Must be the luckiest som' bitch,”

The words catch you off guard, and warmth blooms in your chest. “Damn right you are,” you say softly, but there’s no teasing in your tone anymore.

His lips twitch, and he finally dares to meet your gaze. “Guess I don’t mind that.”

You smirk, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his cheek. The move makes him freeze for half a second before his face turns a deeper shade of red, but his hand brushes yours in a subtle, almost instinctive gesture. Even drunk, even shy, Daryl Dixon couldn’t hide how much he cared.

“C’mon,” you say, tugging lightly at his hand. “Let’s get you some water before you forget anything else."

[munsons-hellfire]

Happiness in the Heart | Eris Vanserra

SUMMARY: You were in love with Azriel for as long as you could remember. But things changed when Elain joined your family, everything changed. Then you met your mate and suddenly you found everything you ever wanted. But you couldn't have had it had it not been for Azriel.

PAIRINGS: Eris Vanserra x Reader

CONTENT WARNINGS: No smut, Eris is nothing but sweet in this, angst, fluff, mentions of death, mentions of blood, nothing to graphic, mentions of heartbreak.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had plans to make this a lot more sadder than what is actually written. But I like the way it turned out for the most part. I wanted to write a good sweet side to Eris and this was it. I enjoyed writing this very much and I hope you enjoy it as well.

WORD COUNT: 5.1K

You’d been a part of the inner circle since you could remember. For a long time you truly felt like one of them but everything seemed to change when the Archeron sisters became a part of the inner circle. Suddenly everyone whom you’d assumed was your friend had disappeared. Azriel was your best friend and the two of you were inseparable and then Elain came into the picture and just like that you lost him.

You didn’t blame Elain, you understood. You knew that maybe you were better off alone. Your thoughts got the better of you telling you that maybe things would be better if you disappeared. Especially when Azriel started spending more time with Elain. You loved him, but had always been too afraid to say something. Though now it seemed like you no longer had a chance.

You were drifting from the inner circle, becoming less and less. Though you would still go out on missions, but for the most part you’d ask Rhys to send you out by yourself. As you started to lock yourself inside your room and away from the people you cared about they didn’t seem to notice. That hurt the most, that you had just disappeared from their lives.

Currently you were in the autumn court, Eris had become the new heir of the Court after his father’s untimely demise. Your friends were around but you paid no mind to them, you had drink after drink until you were drunk enough to hopefully not remember anything the following morning. You looked around the court, Azriel was in the center smiling and dancing with Elain.

Right then and there your heart had officially been torn to pieces. And to make the blow worse you believed that everything that had happened between you and Azriel had been your fault. You had waited too long and now you’d never get a chance to tell him how you felt. Taking a long exhale you grabbed another glass of wine and exited out of the room heading outdoors.

You tumbled down the steps slightly eventually sitting down on one of them, then you dropped your body the rest of the way and stared up at the stars with nothing but a blank gaze as tears cascaded down your face and into your hair. You had tried so hard not to cry but seeing Azriel happy with someone who wasn’t you made it that much worse. A figure stood in front of you glancing down at you.

“I would’ve thought that everyone from the Night Court liked to party.” Eris Vanserra’s voice ran through your ears. The newly appointed High Lord was staring down at you.

“I guess I’m not in the mood for a party.” You mumbled, staring past him.

“Pity.” He paused, wanting nothing more than to stop the tears falling from your face. Eris had known since the High Lord meeting to fight against Hybern that you were his mate. When you had walked into the room and looked at him he had felt the golden thread of the bond tie his soul to yours. But it seemed nothing had snapped for you. It had been 5 years since then, 5 years too long in his eyes. “You look rather divine if I say so myself.”

“You’re compliments won’t do anything to cheer me up.”

Eris moved down the steps, then he held his hand out to you. “Walk with me, my darling fox.”

You grabbed his hand but held a glare on your face. “I’m not your darling fox, don’t call me that.”

The male only smiled as the moonlight highlighted his features. “You say that now, sweetheart.”

You released a groan walking past the High Lord. No matter what you heard about Eris, you couldn’t seem to hate him and you didn’t understand why. When the two of you were far enough from the party Eris shrugged off his cold exterior.

“Why don’t you come stay in my court for a while.” Eris said, showing his compassionate side to you. Shock seemed to wash over your face as you stared at him.

“What? Why?” You rushed out.

“Do those you consider friends really care about you?” He asked a serious look in his amber eyes. “Do they know that you're struggling, that you feel so alone, that the male that you love is not interested in you?” The way he had mentioned Azriel was off putting to you. Like he was upset that you were in love with another male that wasn’t him. But why, is what you wanted to know.

“My burdens are not theirs to bear, they are not yours to bear. We barely know each other.”

“I don’t need to know you to feel your pain, little fox.” Eris lifted a hand and moved a strand of your hair behind your pointed ear. The touch was enough to cause your heart to stutter in your chest,

“How can you feel my pain?”

He sighed, looking away. “You’re my mate, Y/N.” The words were soft and so low you almost didn’t hear him speak it.

“What?” He could hear the confusion in your voice as you stared at him.

Eris didn’t want to repeat himself because he needed to get it off his chest, he needed you to know even if you hadn’t felt the bond, even if there might be a chance that you’d reject it. He couldn’t wake up everyday anymore and feel your pain. He wanted to help, he wanted to be there for you to show you that you're not alone no matter what you think.

“You. Are. My. Mate.” He had paused in between the words and had also stepped closer to you. Your breath hitched in your throat when he grasped your fingers and held them between his. And as if he had spoken it into existence you felt the gold thread tie you to Eris. When he gave a tug on the bond a choked sob left your mouth.

You surprised yourself when you wrapped your hands around the male’s waist and pulled him into a hug. More tears had started to roll down your face as he hugged you back just as tightly. When you pulled back slightly to look up at him he lifted his hand to wipe away the tears.

“What does this mean?” You asked.

“You can stay in the Night Court if that’s what you wish, I won’t force this on you. But I’d like a chance for you to get to know me better. To know the real me and not the cold distant male you’ve met a handful of times.”

“Okay.” You paused, staring into his beautiful eyes. “And when I’m ready to accept the bond?”

“When you’re one day ready to accept it we can hold whatever ceremony you’d like. But I’d only request that you come stay with me here in the Autumn Court. Only after will you be my High Lady. You’ll rule with me by my side, I will not force you to bear my heir, all of that will be your decision. All of this will be yours to choose.”

You nodded your head. “I might need a few days to think about the offer.”

“Very well my little fox.” You rolled your eyes at the male.

───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────

You had traveled back to the Night Court, after that night. Upon returning you felt a little less alone. You thought that the idea of Eris being your mate would scare you, but in truth it excited you. Looking at the supposed friendships, you started to think that maybe it was time to leave. You wanted to know Eris more and eventually accept the bond. You just needed time to adjust to the idea of leaving.

In the weeks that you’d returned home no one had made an effort to see where you’d gone that night. Not even Azriel. Suddenly you no longer felt sad about him not loving you. But it still hurt. The way they had all treated you had hurt. Currently you were on a mission by yourself, Rhys had sent you to a village to see if any danger lie there.

In hindsight you should’ve brought someone with you. But that mistake cost you everything. You’d swore to yourself to keep the village safe from whatever danger loomed over it. But when the fairies appeared and took you out, they had killed every villager. Silence surrounded you, you had blacked out and managed to winnow back home.

Eris could feel your panic, sorrow, fear, and sadness down the bond. You landed in the center of your room, blood covered the entirety of your body and you don’t remember what had happened. All you knew is that whoever had killed the villagers were dead. Screams of pain left your mouth, but to you they were muffled. This mission has truly broken you. The door to your bedroom opened, there stood Azriel.

Rhys and Feyre right behind him. While they were trying to get you to calm down and stop the screams that fell off your lips. All the while you started to call for your mate.

“Eris please.” You had whispered in your mind.

“I’m on my way little fox.” He whispered back.

When Azriel got close enough that he could touch you, you flinched, backing away from him. “Don’t touch me.” You had angrily whispered. You could see the hurt on his face but you didn’t have the mental capacity to focus on that, your mind was still on all the children who had died on your hands, all the parents that had been slaughtered, all the elders that were killed. They were all on your hands.

“Y/N, tell me what happened.” Azriel said, hoping he could get something before Rhys or Feyre entered your mind.

“Now you care.” Those were the only words that came from your mouth before Rhys entered your mind. Your shields were down and he had been able to discover everything. You tried to push the High Lord out of your mind but it had been too much. So much so that when he left your mind you collapsed to the ground. You feel asleep the nightmares of what you witnessed following you.

Rhys had shown both Feyre and Azriel what had happened on the mission. He however refused to show Azriel that Eris had been your mate. He would respect your privacy on that. As for everything else, he should’ve seen the signs that you were pulling away, and after this mission he knew you’d leave and never return. They had all pushed you and now they had lost you.

Cassian appeared, Eris standing with him, a scared look on his face as he looked down at you unconscious. Azriel clenched his jaw, staring at the male.

“What’s he doing here?” Azriel went on to ask.

“I’m here to take my mate home.” Eris answered as he walked towards your body that was still covered in blood.

“You’re her mate?” The words left Azriel’s mouth before he could stop them.

Eris only ignored him, he picked your body up and held you in his arms. Then he turned back to Rhys, a glare on his face. The stone cold looked never leaving even as Rhys spoke to him.

“You can do the one thing that we all failed at. You can take care of Y/N and be there. Just promise that she comes to visit.” Rhys said, his voice broken as he said it.

“I will try my best. But you all betrayed her. You know she shouldn’t have gone on a mission in this state and yet you sent her anyway, now look where it’s gotten her.” Eris turned to look at Azriel. “And you, I didn’t want to tell her that I was her mate because I thought she deserved better than me. I thought maybe Y/N would be good with you, she loved you. But you broke her heart and now you’ve lost her for good. I will make this very clear shadowsinger. You are only allowed in my Court if your High Lord or High Lady is present, if not you are banned from entering the Autumn court even if you try to talk to Y/N. If you step foot on my court without either Rhys or Feyre present you will be killed.”

Eris looked at Rhys and Feyre who gave him a nod of understanding. Before Azriel could argue Eris winnowed out heading back to the Autumn Court to clean you up. Azriel looked at his High Lord and Lady.

“You’re going to honor what that male said?” Azriel asked, staring at the two.

“It’s not like we have a choice in the matter. I told you that she loved you, we all did and you ignored her when she was hurting. We all did, and none of us will ever be able to make up for that. But you should’ve told her that you didn’t like her that way. Instead you dragged her on like she was a lost puppy.” Rhys paused, taking control of the power inside himself. “I sensed that Eris was her mate and that’s why she came to the coronation for Eris. I shouldn’t have sent her on that mission but she needed to be with Eris and this was the only way, the only way for her to be truly happy. Because if she had done something I would’ve never forgiven myself and Eris would’ve never forgiven us. We would lose an ally for any future war. So yes, Feyre and I will be honoring what he has asked. You will not step foot on Autumn land unless one or both of us is with you. If you go against our orders your fate will be left in Eris’ hands.”

“Fine.” Azriel stormed out leaving to figure out what had just happened.

───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────

You woke up a few days later. When you came to you looked around the room until your eyes fell on your mate. He was sitting in a chair, asleep. You groaned slightly as you lifted yourself up from the bed. Eris opened his eyes and found you staring at him.

“Hello, little fox.” He whispered, a smirk gracing his lips.

“How long have I been out?” You asked quickly, smiling internally at the nickname. You still weren’t ready to accept it but it was starting to win you over, especially after he had rescued you.

“A week. I had a healer take a look at the injuries you got on that mission. They were healed.” He answered. You eyed him as he stood from the chair and walked over to the bed, he sat down on the edge and reached for one of your hands.

“I’m sorry.” You looked away from him as the words left your lips.

“No. What happened is not your fault. Don’t apologize, I will always come to rescue you no matter what.” For the first time in 5 years you finally understood what it was like to have someone in your corner.

“What, um, what happened after I passed out?”

“Rhysand wants you to still visit. I told him I’d try my best but I know right now that’s not the best for you. I banned Azriel from my court, our court when you’re ready to run it by my side. He’s only allowed to step foot in this land if Rhysand or Feyre is with him. I will not let him hurt you again, ever.”

Your lips trembled, how could someone you’ve barely known done so much for you. Eris had done just that, had done enough to make sure you're safe and secure in your new home. You wished he’d show this side more to the other high lords, either way you were so lucky to call him your mate. Even if you hadn’t accepted it yet.

“Thank you.” Eris nodded his head, eventually he rested his forehead against yours and the two of you closed your eyes and enjoyed each other’s company.

───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────

It had been a year since you’d left the Night Court and joined the Autumn Court. You became a part of the Autumn Court a month after your arrival, it had been tough to get used to but you eventually found peace. You had picked up a part time job as a librarian to keep you busy when Eris was away for his High Lord responsibilities.

After some time you and Eris had alone time. You had cooked a meal for him and that had been your way of accepting the mating bond. Two weeks later you had a mating ceremony for the Court. You married Eris and became High Lady of the Autumn Court. Word had been spread to the other courts, and you had received plenty of congratulations.

Even ones from those you used to consider friends. For the entire year you had managed to heal yourself with the help of your mate, your husband. And you were ready to forgive all of them including Azriel. Especially now that you would be a mother. Currently you sat in the bathing waters with a hand on your bump, you were 8 months along.

You couldn’t be more excited to get closer to the due date, to be able to welcome your child into the world. Eris was afraid when you had first told him. He was afraid he’d be like his father and torment the babe rather than love it. But you had constantly reminded him that this child would come into the world loved by two parents. You had made it clear to Eris that he was nothing like his father and he had shown that by changing his persona and being there throughout the pregnancy so far.

“How are my girls?” Eris questioned from the bathroom door. You pulled your attention from your bump and looked at the male you were happy to call your husband and mate.

“We’re fine. Very happy.” You paused, sending him a smile and a large amount of happiness down the bond, he of course smiled at you. Then he walked towards you holding his hand to you. You took it and he helped you from the tub. “Must I remind you that we are going to have a son.” Your smile only brightened. You were certain you’d have a son first, where Eris was certain you’d have a daughter first.

“We shall know when our child comes into this world.”

“And it’ll be the happiest day to be able to hold him or her in our arms.” Eris rested his head on yours. The two of you take in each other's emotions. Finally you parted and helped you get changed into a dress that had been altered to fit your growing bump. You two stood in front of the mirror, Eris had his hands resting on your stomach, yours were on top of his.

“Are you ready for tonight?” He asked, concerning washing from his lips.

“I am. This is a great way to announce the pregnancy of our first heir. And it’ll be good for me to forgive them. It’s the last step in my recovery and I need to do this.” You explained to him.

“Okay. If at any point you get overwhelmed-”

“I know, tell you and we can leave.” You said cutting him off.

“Exactly.” He watched as you turned around in his arms and stared up at him.

“Azriel is no longer banned from our Court.” Your words caught him off guard but he knew to expect them.

“Are you positive?”

“Yes, if he wishes to visit without Feyre and Rhys then he should be able to. I don’t love him anymore and I’m no longer bothered by the way he treated me and the fact that he didn’t love me. Without him I wouldn’t have found you, I wouldn’t be growing our child. I wouldn’t have the family I was always supposed to have. It’s because of him that I get to love you and will continue to love until the Mother decides it’s my time to leave. Azriel is the reason behind all of this and it’s not fair to keep him from our Court.”

Eris smiled at your words. “Very well. My High Lady has a say in his punishment and if that’s what you are okay with then I will stand by your side as you tell them.” You gave a small shake of your head. “Now we have guests waiting for us, I don’t think we should keep them waiting.”

“No we shouldn’t.”

You interlaced your fingers with your husband’s and the two of you walked out of your chambers heading to the throne room where the other High Lords and High Ladies waited. You’d even known Tamlin would be there. He was still making amends for what he did in the past but a few months ago you’d learned that the Spring Lord had discovered his mate.

She had been helping Tamlin with his recovery and helping him to be a better male. Lucien had been able to build his friendship with the male again, and you were there to help. You were also there when Lucien found out that Helion was his father. Everyone was healing and you couldn’t be more proud of the things all of you had accomplished since Eris had taken over as the High Lord in Autumn.

With you by his side things were moving in the direction they needed. The doors opened for the two of you, instantly eyes fell onto you and Eris. Your grip on your mate's hand got tighter as the two of you walked past your guest heading towards your throne. He squeezed back, assuring you that everything was okay.

Keeping your head held high, you had a hand resting on your bump protectively as the other High Lords and Ladies and the guest they might’ve brought with them stared at your bump. After making it to the steps you and Eris turned looking at everyone.

“My wife and I wanted to thank you all for being here. Please enjoy the food, drinks, and have fun dancing.” Eris said, a smile on his face. Everyone was still getting used to this new side of Eris but they trusted you, and because they trusted you they could trust him.

Eris helped you sit down on the throne, then he took a seat on the armrest next to you. Rhysand and Feyre walked up with Azriel behind them but at a distance.

“Y/N. It’s so good to see you again.” Feyre stated with a smile on her lips. You smiled back.

“You’re glowing.” Rhysand added.

“Thank you. Eris and I are so excited to meet our little bundle in the coming weeks.” You said, briefly glancing at Azriel. He was staring at you.

“How have you been?” Feyre proceeded to ask.

“I’m doing better.” You looked to Eris, he gave you a nod and squeezed your shoulder softly. You reached for his hand and held it in your hands. Azriel took note of the wedding bands that were on your left hand. He noticed Eris had one too. “I actually wanted to discuss the banning of your Shadowsinger from our court.”

“We apologize if this has caused any discomfort for you.” Rhysand said, his violet eyes switching between you and Eris.

“No it hasn’t. Firstly I’m sorry that it’s taking me so long to speak with all of you. I was in pain and was trying to heal. Eris, he’s helped a lot in my healing journey. And so has our child. I’d like to have family dinners with you again, as long as Eris is welcome.”

Feyre and Rhysand glanced at each other, you know they were having a silent conversation with each other. Finally they looked back at you and Eris.

“We’d like that very much.” Feyre said with a soft smile on her face. You released a breath, Eris sent a wave of love down the bond. You knew he was proud of you and it was showing.

“Secondly, Azriel, could you please step forward so that I may speak with you.”

He gave a nod and moved in between Feyre and Rhysand until he was in front of them. His shadows were moving around his body, he seemed happier as you looked at him. Maybe some kind of change had come his way after you’d left. You knew he wasn’t with Elain because she was with Lucien right now.

A few months ago she had accepted the bond between them after she herself had found what made her happy. She learned to accept the bond and with it Lucien. You’d hoped that maybe Azriel had found his mate too.

“I know that you were never in love with me the way I was. I only wished you’d told me how you felt. That being said, thank you.”

“Thank you?” Azriel asked, hazel eyes narrowing in you as confusion filled his normally emotionless face. Feyre and Rhysand also stared at you with confused looks.

“If you had told me that you loved me I would’ve never found my mate. I wouldn’t be married to Eris, I wouldn’t be High Lady of Autumn, it’s still a shock even now. And I wouldn’t be carrying our child right now. Because of you I found everything I needed. I found my home, my purpose. I learned to heal myself even after everything I’ve gone through. I hope that you find a mate one day.”

Azriel took a moment to process your words. “I have, she’s wonderful.” He said. He turned slightly looking at Rhys. Then he looked back at you and Eris. “She’s here, would you like to meet her?”

You nodded enthusiastically, years ago you would’ve been sad and jealous that he hadn’t noticed you but now it was different. Now you were happy and you could see that he had to.

“Will you help me up, dear?” You asked, looking at Eris. He smiled at you.

“Of course, little fox.” You smiled at the nickname as he helped you from the seat.

The two of you walked down the steps. When you were close enough you pulled Feyre into a hug. She hugged you back tightly. Then you moved over to Rhysand and hugged him tightly. Seconds later Azriel came back with a female by his side. Cassian, Nesta, Amren and Mor were also with him.

“They wanted to see you too.” Azriel mentioned. Hugs went around quickly, then your eyes landed on the female Azriel had brought over. You took a closer look at her and noticed the bright blue eyes. “This is Gwyneth, my mate.” The smile that broached his face made you happy. Lucien and Elain joined at some point, he sent a nod towards you and Eris.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you from everyone.” She said, holding her hand out towards you.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” You told her your name as you shook her hand. “Eris is my mate, and this is our little bean.” You said holding onto your bump. Eris was behind you with a smile on his face.

“A happy reunion. Does this mean you’ll come visit now?” Mor asked eyes on you.

“Yes it does. And you are more than welcome to visit here as much as you like.” You paused looking at Azriel as sadness seemed to cross his face for a brief moment. “None of that.” You said.

“What?” Azriel asked you.

“Azriel, Shadowsinger, you are hereby welcomed back to the Autumn court whenever you please. You’re no longer banned from our home.”

“And you’re okay with this?” Azriel asked, looking at the High Lord.

“My High Lady’s word is power and if she grants it then we are to follow it.” Eris answered.

“Very well.”

Relief washed over you when Azriel accepted your request. “Let’s enjoy this party, shall we?” You said pulling your husband towards the dance floor. The others followed behind you. As you danced with your family you looked up at Eris.

“Are you happy?” He asked spinning you around and pulling you back to his chest.

“So happy.” You answered, resting your head on his chest.

“Good. You deserve it.”

───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────

A few weeks later you and Eris welcomed your son into the world. Currently you held onto the sleeping babe as your friends started to arrive at your home to meet the newborn. You looked down at your son, truly content with the life you had right now. You could hear the laughter in your home and it had been so long since you felt a part of it.

Azriel made his way up to you first, Eris allowing you time to talk to him. You looked at the Shadowsinger when he came to a stop next to you. A smile graced your lips when he looked down at your son.

“Would you like to hold him, Az?” You asked, using a nickname you hadn’t used in a long time.

“I’d be honored, Y/N.” He smiled brightly. You leaned forward shifting the babe into Azriel’s arms. His scarred hands tightened, as he held onto the babe. His shadows moved towards the babe, almost as if they were protecting your son.

“I think you’d make a fine Uncle.” You said, lifting your gaze to Azriel. He was staring at you with shock in his hazel eyes. “I don’t want what happened in the past to define our future. Nova, he deserves to have a happy family. And I want you to be a part of that just as much as everyone else that’s here.”

“As long as I can teach him how to fight.” Azriel said excitedly.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less, but Nova has a few years before he’s ready for that.”

“Very well.” As the night moved on and everyone met Nova you realized that it had been so long since you felt this content, this happy. You had your new family and your old family.

“You deserve to be happy, don’t forget that my love.” Eris said in your mind as a wave of love flew down the bond.

“How can I forget when you're constantly reminding me?” You remarked with a smile.

“And I’ll continue to remind you until the Mother decides to take me away from you. But I promise that I’ll find you in every lifetime.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[evillama666]

“Art class”

“Art class”

Logan Howlett x Reader

I’ve read a few fanfics where Logan is the history teacher, and as much as I love that, I feel like some things would trigger his ptsd. I know he mentions he’s the art teacher, like once. I think he’d find art therapeutic, and still holding onto that history teacher idea, I like to believe he teaches art history. I’m sure he’s seen lots of different art over the years (Even if he doesn't remember most of it) so he enjoys teaching it. Also he’s totally one of those chill art teachers. 

Summary: Logan draws with reader during class

Tags: Platonic, comfort, shy/anxious reader, soft Logan, teasing

Word count: 2551

꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…

Logan’s art class is the best. He’s not one of those strict art teachers. His class is very chill. There’s always some sort of quiet music playing. Usually he picks the music, but if one of his students makes a request, he’ll play it. He loves being introduced to new music. He’s the kinda teacher that gives out either one-hundreds or zeros. It’s simple. If you try on your project; you pass. You don't; you fail. He’s not about to spend his nights, where he could be drinking, grading papers. Whatever project the class is working on, Logan is also partaking. Either quietly drawing at his desk, or with some kids if they ask him to join. He’s got a soft spot for his students. He’s the kinda teacher that pays attention to his kids, even if he’d never admit it. He knows a lot more about each of them than he leads on. He’ll listen in on their stories, learn who’s friends with whom, and pick up on people's crushes. He even engages in conversations with them. His laughs are heard throughout the room when he does.

None of the projects are ever hard, and he gives the kids free range for all of them. His presentions on either different art styles, techniques, time periods, or whatever are the best. If he's teaching about a time he lived through (and actually remembers) he's explaing what it's like and may even show any peices he made during those times. The class loves asking him about what it was like living through those times. He always tries to include everything he can remember. Those parts of his past, he doesn't mind talking about. He has lots of experience with art, so he's always helping students with their projects and giving them tips. If there's a speicific thing they want to learn out of class, he'll happily teach them. He's the best.

You want him to sit with you. You have for almost a week now. The thing is… you're too shy to actually ask. You know if you did, he gladly would. It’s just the idea of actually asking that you dread. Plus, he seems to have great relationships with everyone else. You don’t want to pull him away from the other students. Your table is near his desk. No one else is sitting with you, so it’s lonely. Sitting near his desk, you like to see what he’s working on. You're not sneaking glances at his art today, though. You’re sneaking glances at him, desperately wanting to ask him to come over. He’s not sitting with anyone else, so you know he’s free. You sigh when you can’t build up the courage. Guess you’ll wait and see if you can ask him tomorrow. 

It’s not like he’s an intimidating teacher. Not to the good kids anyway but, if someone's goofing off in his class, blatantly disrespecting the rules, he’ll blow up on them. Luckily, there’s not really anyone like that in your class. He made his class a safe place. His class is soothing, a perfect way to wind down, and having his class at the end of the day, it’s even better.

He’s noticed all your “subtle” looks towards him. Of course he has. The man’s got heightened senses. He can practically feel the shy and nervousness radiating off you. He wanted to give you the chance to fight through that and just ask him. It’s been a week, and that hasn't happened. Seeing another one of your glances, he sighs, grabbing his supplies, and setting them down on your table. “You could’ve just asked.”

His gruff voice pulls your attention from your drawing, looking up at him as he sits. Wait, he made the move? You didn’t think he’d do that. Not knowing what to say, you look back down at your project. “Ya the anxious type? I can smell it wafting off ya.” You lift your head again. Damn his heightened senses. You didn't even think of that. How long has he been able to smell that? And... what the hell does that even smell like!? You silently nod.

Rolling his eyes, he tries saying something to coax you out of your anxiety. “Y’know, your art is one of my favourites to grade. It’s different from everyone else's.” His voice is low and soothing. (I love his voice) It definitely helps relax you. You always thought your art was more on the weirder side, so hearing that Logan likes it brings you comfort. Feeling like you kinda have to say something now, you mumble, “Thank you, Mr. Howlett.”

“Logan.” He says, looking down at his paper as he draws. He hates formality. It’s not like anyone here actually calls him that. His relationships with his students are very casual. Your eyes roam over his face. He’s pretty for such a rugged man. “Logan?” You squeak out, as confirmation. He nods once. “That ‘Mr’ shit makes me feel old.” Isn’t he old…? Anyway, feeling somewhat comfortable with him but still a bit shy, you speak quietly. “I like your last name. It’s very… werewolf-ey.” 

He lifts his gaze from his drawing, raising his brows as he smirks. “It suits me perfectly, doesn't it?” You meet his eyes. He’s got such kind eyes. He’s very comforting to be around, despite everything you've heard about him as Wolverine. You silently nod. He’s got to pull you out of your anxiety a little more. His students like having conversations with him about anything, like their day, interests, or even just venting. But you're his quietest student, so you two haven't really reached that level yet. “So, you like my art.” He says, as a conversation starter. “How’d you know?” You ask.

“You watch me a lot.” He says, flatly. Wait, how obvious are you about that? “Now, I’d think you were checking me out, but your eyes are never on me. It’s always whatever I'm working on. That’s a true artist right there.” Hearing him call you that, makes you feel weirdly proud. No wonder why everyone here likes him so much. “I didn’t realize I stared so much…” You quietly admit. “There’s nothing wrong with it.” He reassures. “I know it’s out of genuine interest.”

Damn, this man is observant. He knows a lot more about you than you thought. You glance at his drawing. You’re used to looking at his work over his shoulder. Now that it’s closer, you can see it a lot more clearly. Like, all the tiny details he adds. He is a very talented artist. He catches your gaze and flips the drawing over for you to see. It’s of a tree and you can see how he drew each individual leaf and blade of grass. How does he have the patience for that? You glance at your drawing. You two have very different styles. “That’s so good! I wish I could draw like that.” He responds with a half laugh. “I’ve got like a hundred years of experience on ya, kid.” He probably has all the practice in the world.

He watches you draw for a minute. He hasn't heard your voice too many times. “Not a people person, huh?” He says, trying to get a response out of you. “No. I have bad anxiety.” That causes Logan to snort. “Well, that’s fucking obvious.” He’s not like your other teachers. He just doesn't give a damn about how he’s supposed to act. Feeling a bit more comfortable, you tease, “I thought teachers weren't supposed to swear?” Logan huffs in amusement. “Ya not gonna tell Xavier are you?” You know this man causes enough trouble for Xavier so you shake your head. “M’no.” 

“Then I’m gonna do whatever the hell I want.” He sighs when you fall back to being quiet, continuing on your project. “Would ya like me to sit with ya more?” Is he really asking that? Doesn't he already know the answer to that? You quietly nod. “I could use more company.” He notices your gaze fall back on his drawing. “You just want to watch me easier, don’t you?” You force your gaze away from his drawing. “Both. I’d actually enjoy the company. I don’t really have friends.” Like that wasn’t fucking obvious? “I could tell.” He says flatly. Damn, couldn't he be a bit more gentle with it? “Thanks for the comfort, old man.” He can’t help but snicker at the name. You must be feeling more comfortable. “Watch the name calling, brat.” He teases right back with a smirk.

You laugh softly. “It’s not a name. It’s the truth.” Wow, you really just went there. “Then shouldn't you be respecting your elders?" He smirks, thinking he got the upper hand. However, you don’t miss a beat. "You don’t respect Xavier now, do you?” Damn, ok, he didn't expect you to be so quick-witted when you got comfortable. He takes a second, forming a response. “I’m older than him.” And there you go again, making a comeback without even thinking. “He remembers more than you. You’re senile.”

His smirk falters, not being able to think of another comeback. He takes another few seconds to think of something. “I see why you don’t have friends.” You feel you should be hurt by that, but you end up laughing. “Not like you have many, either.” His brows furrow a little. This generation is fucking mean. “I choose not to.” You shoot him a look that says ‘Really?’ “Is that what you tell yourself?” He can’t help but smirk. This little bitch can throw down. “I like you.”

Your face falters a moment, not expecting him to say that, but you find your smile again. “You’re aight.” Wait… that's it? That’s all he gets!? Aight!? He couldn’t even get an ‘all right’? After you just attacked his goddamn soul!? His tone is unamused. “You clearly like me more than that if you wanted me to sit with you so bad.” You pause drawing. “I guess that’s true…” He smirks again, feeling cocky. “Of course it’s true. Everyone likes me.” 

You shake your head at his cocky demeanour. His eyes soften as he watches you work. You’re one of his most hard-working students. “You’re very passionate about your work.” You shrug as you keep working. “It’s all I ever do.” Logan can’t help but appreciate that. He’s looking at you… fondly? You meet his gaze. “W- um… Would you like to look through my sketchbook?” You’ve seen other students let him go through theirs. He always likes their drawings. He seems to just like all art in general. “Sure.” He shrugs.

You grab your sketchbook from your bag and hand it to him. He looks through it with a blank expression. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. Maybe he doesn't like it- “These are excellent.” Oh, he does like them. You can’t help but smile shyly. “Thank you.” He’s still flipping through, admiring each page. “You could make some real money off of some of these, kid.”

“Thanks, but I’m not interested in turning my hobby into a career.” He finishes looking through, setting the sketchbook on the table. “No? That’s a damn shame. I woulda bought some.” Wait, is he teasing you again? No, he seems genuine. “Wait what? Really?” He’s gotta be joking, right? He’s never said that to anyone else. All he says is, “Yeah.” with a simple shrug. Maybe that’ll bring up your confidence. 

You take another minute to process, then smile. You didn’t think your art would ever mean that much to anyone else. He suddenly gets up and leaves. You sigh in disappointment. Well, that didn't last long... Logan sees your slumped shoulders when he comes back. “Damn, I was only gone for a minute. Are ya already that fuckin’ clingy?” You look up when he places some pages next to you. “Thought you’d like these.” He sits back down as you go through the pile of drawings. “Are these yours?”

“Yeah. Thought you could get some inspiration from them.” He’s already back to working on his project. You look at all of his drawings. Some of them are… dark. You love it! They’re different like your drawings. You somehow feel seen. You can see the emotions he put into each one. “I love these. They’re so detailed. I wish to be half as good as you.” There’s a small half smile on his lips as you compliment his art. Not too many people value how much time and work he actually puts into them. “Mmh, you're more than halfway there, kid. Your art is fucking phenomenal.” His compliments are the best. Each one of them is genuine. You slide your project over to him, wanting his input. 

“How’s this? I feel like… it’s missing something.” He looks at it, really looks at it before giving his thoughts, that’ll match your style of drawing. “Darken the shadows to make it edgier. But use blue instead of black.” You look back at your drawing, thinking. That would… actually tie everything in nicely. You need to learn colour theory from this man. He’s so smart with the way he uses colours. “Thanks, I would never have thought of that.” You grab a dark blue pencil and get to shading. He doesn’t get why you don’t have any friends. You seem interesting enough. He quietly speaks. “You can eat here during lunch.” 

You almost miss what he said. “What about lunch?” His focus has shifted mainly to his drawing. “You can eat here during lunch. It’s quiet. Not too many kids eat in here and you have full access to all the art supplies.” You can feel yourself smiling. You were always jealous of the kids that had a teacher they could eat with. You always envied that. Well, now you have it. The lunchroom is always so loud and overwhelming. A quiet room sounds nice. “I’ll take you up on that. I hate the lunchroom.” Logan assumed you did with your anxiety. He likes to offer the anxious kids his quiet room. 

There’s a small smile on his lips and he looks relaxed while he draws. His relaxed mood seems to rub off on you. You sigh as you draw, glancing at him and his work occasionally. Your eyes linger over his features. It’s not fair he’s so pretty and handsome at the same time. He glances up from his drawing, meeting your eyes. A cocky smirk slides onto his lips. “Am I just that handsome?” You blink a couple times, not expecting to be called out. “I was thinking of how to draw you.” His cocky smirk turns into a small, soft, genuine smile. “I do have a nice face, huh?” (I have so much fun drawing him. His features are so nice.) You can’t help but secretly agree. Your eyes scan over his face, breaking it down into simple shapes, sketching a rough outline in your mind. He’s looking at you, letting you stare for as long as you need. His gaze is soft.

When you look away, his attention goes back to his drawing. Neither of you are speaking right now. The silence doesn’t feel like it needs to be filled. As the quiet type, you don’t mind this. He’s deeply focused on his work, so you don’t want to distract him with a conversation. As much as you’ve enjoyed talking to him, you only wanted him to sit with you, so you weren’t lonely. You pack up when class is over, sighing, finally being done with classes for the day. Logan glances at you from the corner of his eye, still working on his drawing, waiting for all the kids to leave. “See ya tomorrow, Y/n.” You glance over your shoulder as you head to the door. “Bye, Logan.” You say with a little wave, making sure to use his first name, not his last. It makes you feel closer to him than your other teachers. 

꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…

I know it’s short. I had literally no plot

[cherripie32]

Rely on me | Arlecchino x Reader

Where you are hired as the “mother” of the Hearth to take care of the children and to act as the partner of the ever exhausted Arlecchino.

(Heavily inspired by spy x family chapter 86)

TW: none! Just pure fluff. Reader is fem - referred as mother

It’s been a long week.

“So exhausting…” Arlecchino muttered in annoyance as she mentally reviewed all the tasks needed to be submitted to the fatui. She was so tired of it all: the endless requests from the Tsaritsa, the straining tasks with almost no time to complete them, infuriating peers with bigger egos than she ever thought possible.

And all the demands of her work had lead her to work on a weekend, only being able to walk back home to the orphanage at midnight.

“I have a strong feeling she’ll complain..arriving home at this hour.” Arlecchino’s thoughts swirled as her lips formed a bitter line. “I suppose reasoning to her is just another task I have to finish” She concluded, preparing herself for your grievances.

Her hand grasped the metal of the doorknob, twisting it ever so slightly, making sure to be quiet as to not disturb the children sleeping. Her face was serious, ready to see you huffing your complaint.

“Welcome home, Arle!”

You chirped, a soothing tone ringing in the air

…

“…what?” Arlecchino heard you the first time, but her head grew blank at the sight of you. Seeing you and hearing your voice caused an uneasy peace she wasn’t used to, always accustomed to her mind racing from work. For some reason she couldn’t think anymore, and she didn’t know why.

“I said welcome home” you repeated, your smile still as gentle as ever. “you must be tired from working all day” You slowly took a step toward her direction, but were surprised to find the sight before you.

Arlecchino fell to the floor!

“Arle! Are you okay??” You rushed toward her, concern dominating your face as you knelt to her level.

“I’m alright..” She tried to stand up but couldn’t as hard as she tried. She had no clue why. She wasn’t injured or anything, every bone in her body was working perfectly until she saw you. Her mind was able to think rapidly until she heard your voice. It was as if she was carrying the weight of the world before she opened the door..Perhaps you carried all that weight away.

All she could do was look up to find that worried look on your face. “How are the children?” Arlecchino asked, trying to distract from the fact that she plummeted to the floor.

“They’re all fast asleep. I took them out to play today and they got so exhausted they conked out as soon as they went to bed…” You replied, a small smile settling on your face as you remembered the children playing.

“Arle, if you’re that tired, i suggest you do the same!” You uttered, now sitting on the floor in front of the poor Knave.

And all the Harbinger could do was sigh, head slightly tilting forward to lean on your shoulder. She could notice the faint scent of fresh laundry with a hint of Vanilla.

“Are you okay? Do you have a fever? Should I check your temperature?” A slight tinge of anxiety wavered in your question. Arlecchino could tell heavily you were worried about her state.

“No…but i do have a request. Im sorry for placing this burden on you but..would you mind if i asked you to shoulder my share of the housework? Only for today and tomorrow.” She managed to ask, a pang of guilt as she waited for your reply.

“I wouldn’t mind at all, i’d be happy to!” Your eyes squinted as you smiled in reply.

“How strange.” The harbinger thought.

“Why are you happy about this? I thought people detest chores”

“Well, I do agree that chores aren’t the most enjoyable thing …but, i guess what I wanted was to be able to actually take care of you. I enjoy you being able to rely on me a little”

Arlecchino didn’t say anything in reply. How could she when such sweet words were spoken?

“Peruere, I..know that you can do pretty much anything by yourself. And when times are hard, you try to spare me from it. But I don’t think you need to be so perfect all the time. You continued, a slight thump in your heart from the mention of her name. It felt genuine, serene.

“…”

“You shouldn’t have to put up that front so often. So when you asked me for help just now, that made me sort of happy.

“…”

“I want you to be able to relax from time to time, you work so hard even on days off. So please, don’t hesitate to rely on me a little.” You finished, a small tint of embarrassment on your cheeks as you realized how much you confessed. But Arlecchino didn’t mind at all. And you realized she didn’t when she gazed up at you, an uncharacteristic curve of her smile showing.

“Thank you. In all honesty, I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

Although her common replies are distinct and straightforward, often not having a convey of emotion. This was different. Her voice wavered as if all of her emotions were coming together. Every part of her felt so relieved, she felt like putty in your hands as you held her in your embrace.

She had never felt so much, until you.

[dearweirdme]

I enjoy Tkkrs origin stories (I’m going somewhere with this.. I promise 😁). I love hearing about what made them stand out to people and which specific moments it were that made things click. I myself was already very much into BTS when I started feeling Tae and Jk had a bond that was different (more close) than the other members. I had already started watching Run and all sorts of other footage, and when festa 2022 came around I very much went ‘wait.. could they really?’. Ofcourse being in army spaces the name ‘taekook’ was familiar to me, so I started to look up more about them. I kept watching original footage (ITS, BV, interviews, lives, performances) and ultimately I came across blogs that I found very insightful and who would answer asks and had information. It took me quite some months to go from 👀 to jep. I remember clearly going through so so so much footage and their bond just became clearer with everything I watched. It can be hard as a newer fan to go through so much footage, but at the same time to me it felt so easy, because I enjoyed watching so much.

It’s still kinda insane to me that my blog became well visited. I was very new when people started to follow me, and I’ve never (not even now) been the most up to date. I often see my blog as a collab between me and my anons. There are many people around who have better knowledge and who have insights I have not. There are many people around who have lived through more of BTS’s years than I have… though I don’t feel as new as I once did.

Now to my point (I’m feeling quite dramatic.. this is not a goodbye post or anything 😂… sometimes my head is just filled with words that need out). These last weeks.. months.. whatevers.. there have been more and more asks about things I feel are pretty obvious (about how Jk treats Tae for instance). It’s obvious to me, because I have actually watched so much footage that I just know certain things are there. It’s also stuff that I’d imagine would be obvious to everyone who has come to call themselves a tkkr, because I’d guess that they’re also going through their journeys of watching footage. At the same time.. I have a lot of trolls coming to my inbox (kinda always). It’s made it very hard for me to distinguish between asks that are in good faith (from actual newer fans who have found their way to tkk blogs early in their journey) and asks that are from trolls (jkkrs, some solos, anti’s, taennies). I’ve been fluctuating in my responses a bit. At times quick to call some out, and at times too trusting perhaps. I’m being honest here.. I am by nature someone who’s leaning positive and trusting (even after these years of blogging 😂). That’s not going to change. There are also times when, even if I might suspect someone is a troll, I still choose to deal with their ask as if it’s in good faith. I try to consider that for really new tkkrs, they haven’t even come to experience Tae and Jk outside of enlistment. And I try to consider that not everyone likes going through old content.

All this to say. I feel this time is difficult (not when it comes to my thoughts on Tkk.. those haven’t changed much at all) when it comes to fandom shenanigans. I try to keep this blog fun and insightful, but it’s also hard at times with no new stuff to talk about and an influx of trolls.

Alright.. I this was just something that has been on my mind today.. done with the dramatics now 😂. Here’s a tkk pic to make up for it!

[justmeinadaze]

Smutty request here....massage therapist(s) Eddie and/or Steve 🥴

Got me feeling all the things

Happy Ending (Steddie X You)

A/N: So this intimidated me a bit because I don't a whole lot about massages and that field. But I ran with what I know and put a spin on it. I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Masseuses Steddie and you and all that implies (I regret nothing), mentions of stress from the read and a broken heart, she is aware that they provide more than just massages, DP (I said what I said), they are gentle with her for the most part but their is slight allusions to Dom/Sub dynamics (spanking, some bratty behavior, and stern tones), I think that's it.

Word Count: 6244

“Trust me, Y/N, these two will change your life.”

“They’re masseuses. It’s a massage, Deb.”

“Yes and no.” You stare at your friend as you sarcastically blink in her direction making her laugh so hard she almost spits out her drink. “Yes, they massage your body but they also do…other things…to help you relax.”

“Nope. No thank you. I’m good.”

“Y/N! Wait, come on.” She reaches for you hand as you start to get up from the lunch table you two were eating at. “Listen… you remember how hard things were for me a few months ago? I was working 80-hour weeks trying to get that promotion, my mom was scolding me because I’m still not married, and then add in being broke as hell.” Your friend sighed as you placed your palm over her hand.  

“Someone suggested them and I thought ‘Hey, what do I have to lose?’ When I met them, they were so kind and gentle. I swear for a second, I forgot I was even worried about anything. And that was before the…ahem…happy ending.” You blush as you both giggle. Debbie suddenly leans in closer to you, lowering her voice. 

“They both do the massaging part but you can decide who makes your ending a happy one. Personally, I chose the tall, pretty one. Not that the other one wasn’t cute…he’s just not my type, you know?”

“You can only have one?”

Your friend gasps as she playfully hits your arm. “You whore!”

“What?! I’m just asking! More so out of curiosity.”, you shrug. “I guess not everyone is into that kind of…kink but…I mean if you’re hiring them knowing what they do…wouldn’t you want to take the opportunity?”

“Goddamn, I will never understand why Tony cheated on you.” Your eyes meet hers as she softly smiles. “You’re sweet, funny, fucking gorgeous, and apparently really open minded when it comes to ménage à trois.”

You return her smile with one of your own as you lean back in your chair. “Yeah, well, if you ever find that out will you let me know?”

****

You sigh as you enter your big, empty apartment. Tony, your ex-fiancé, was supposed to come by while you were out today with your friend to get the last of his things. Now half of your home was quite literally gone. 

As you hugged your arms around yourself you noticed a note on the kitchen counter. 

“Y/N,

I think I got everything but if I forgot something can you save it and let me know? 

This was incredibly hard for me. I love you so much, baby. Can’t we just—”

You crumple the letter without bothering to read the rest. Honestly, it doesn’t matter. You heard it all before you caught him with her that night and after you threw him out.

After grabbing a beer from the fridge, you held the card Debbie gave you for the masseuses, tracing your fingers over the number.

“Ugh! Fuck it.”, you exhale as you reach for the phone.

It rings a few times but right as you begin to rethink what you’re doing; music suddenly blares through the line. 

“Yeah! Hello?”

“Um, hi. I’m looking for the Munson-Harrington massage people…thing.”

The man on the other end chuckles as he lowers the heavy metal in the background. 

“I don’t think I’ve heard us called that before. Massage people thing… Yeah, you got one of them here. How can I help you, sweetheart?”

“I, um, my friend recommended I utilize your services.”

“Do you always talk this dirty or are we special?”

“I don’t know. Are you always this much of asshole or am I just that special.”, you growl.

The music on the other end abruptly stops and you hear movement on the other end. 

“You sound like your absolutely special. Are you a little nervous?”

You sigh as you lean against the kitchen the wall. “Yeah. I’ve never done anything like this before. Not even regular…massages. Deb, my friend, said you guys changed her life. My life kind of sucks right now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to and you definitely don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. My friend and I just want to help you relax. Pretty sounding girl like you deserves a clear head.”

“Hm. I bet you say that to everyone who calls.”

“You’re right. I did tell the telemarketer before you that he sounded gorgeous.”

That made you genuinely laugh. “What’s your name?”

“Eddie. I’m the Munson in the name. What’s yours?”

“Y/N.” You slide down to the floor as you take another swig of the drink in your hand. “Is the Harrington part of your company there?”

“Yes ma’am, he is. Would you like to say hello?”

“If that’s ok. I don’t want to impose or anything.”

“HARRINGTON! There’s a pretty girl on the phone who would like to speak with you.”

You listen to Eddie pass the phone as he tells the other boy your name. 

“Y/N? Hey, I’m Steve. I heard you wanted to talk to me.”

“Are you an asshole like your friend?”

“I can be when I need to. Eddie! What did you do to this girl?”

“Nothing! She started it by calling and being adorable.”

“Oh my god.”, you giggle. “You guys are good.”

“And we haven’t even touched you yet.” Your breathing stuttered at his comment. He said it with so much confidence as if he already knew his hands (and services) would blow you away. “Are you still with me, honey?”

“Yeah, um, Eddie said that…we could go slow and if I didn’t want…the…”

“He’s right. We want you to be comfortable. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Y/N. If you just want a massage that’s fine. If you just want to talk that’s fine to.”

You exhale heavily into the phone before finally making up your mind. 

“Okay. I’m free on Friday.”

############

“Shit, shit, shit!” You continue to curse as you run down your apartment building hallway. “I am so sorry I’m late! Work kept me late and—”

You froze you saw them sitting outside your door, quickly rising when your eyes meet theirs. 

“Hey, no problem.” One of the boy’s grins as he extends his hand for you to shake. “I’m Steve. This is Eddie.”

“The asshole.”, he teases as his gigantic palm encapsulates your own. 

You couldn’t take your eyes off them; they weren’t what you were expecting at all. You assumed Steve was the “tall, pretty one” your friend had mentioned but to you they were both handsome. Eddie had that kind of metalhead look you’d seen walking the streets of your town with his leather jacket and long hair. His Metallica shirt rested perfectly above his belt that was holding up his blue jeans. 

Steve looked like the everyday 80’s guy you saw in most romance movies at the theater but his smile radiated a confidence that made you feel safe. His muscle-bound arms in his polo caused a little sigh to escape your lips as your eyes traced the rest of his figure. 

“Do we…have to do a chant or something?”

You glanced at Eddie completely confused until he gestured towards the front door. 

“Oh, fuck, right. I’m sorry. My head is just…” You clumsily turn your key in the lock and allow them entry into your home. 

“Wow. This place is really nice.”

“Uh, thank you. My fiancé, well ex-fiancé, and I wanted a bigger place closer to the city since we both worked over here. Do you…would you guys like something to drink?”

“No, thank you. We appreciate the offer.” Steve smiles in your direction making your knees a bit weak. “You can have something though if you want.”

“Thanks? I mean with it being my apartment and all.”

“Ah, there’s that sass I was waiting for.” Eddie flashes you a tooth filled grin.

After pouring yourself the strongest drink you could find, you watched them set up near your living room. Your eyes continued to rake over them as they exchanged small talk with each other, allowing you some space to get more comfortable with their presence.

The phone ringing startled you as you turned to give it your attention. Before you could pick it up it routed to the voicemail and Tony’s voice flowed through. 

“Y/N? Babe, are you there? Please, I just want to talk.” Your eyes fluttered shut as you listened to his excuses. You hated being alone and this gigantic apartment was just another reminder that he wasn’t by your side anymore. You missed Tony terribly but no one in the world had ever hurt you as badly as he had. “…I swear to God, she meant nothing to me. I’m just a fucking idiot.”

Feeling a sudden warmth, you opened your eyes to meet Eddie’s as he towered over you. You glanced at Steve whose own face reflected the same sympathy as his friend. 

“…I felt so fucking lonely, Y/N. You were always at work and I felt like you never had time for me. Baby, I know what it’s like to sit in that apartment all by yourself, hurting. Please just talk to me—”

“Hey. Just so you’re aware you are a fucking idiot. She’s not sitting here alone crying her eyes out over some asshole who broke her heart. Y/N has moved on and you should to. Stop calling.”

After hanging up the phone, the metalhead turned to face you again. “I hope that was ok.”

Before you could stop yourself, you wrapped your arms around his waist, clinging to him as you sighed into his chest. His arms gradually came down to hold you to him as his cheek rested on your head. 

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure. I’m not going to lie, Stevie, we may want to reconsider taking a payment in a hug because this is quite comfortable.”

They both laugh as you pull away and smile at them. 

“We’re ready whenever you are, honey.”, Steve grins as he points towards their makeshift table.

#########

Your eyes remain glued in front of you as you listen to Eddie move about the apartment. 

“Y/N.”, Steve whispers from behind you as his breath warms your ear. “Remember, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. We can just talk if you want or we can even leave. No hard feelings. We understand how uncomfortable this situation can be especially since you don’t know us but that makes it a little bit freeing to.”

“Can, um, can I ask you for a favor?” You softly smile when you turn to look at him and he nods. “Can you…take off my clothes? I-I-I don’t think I…”, you ask, stuttering through your nerves. 

“Yeah. Yeah, of course I can. Did you want to keep anything on?”

“Is that an option?”, you giggle. 

“Sweetheart, you hold all the power here.” Eddie slides up beside his friend, now jacketless with no shoes. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone let alone naked in front of someone. Tony wasn’t lying about that. I’ve always been busy with work and—”

Steve gently places his index finger over your lips. “Nothing that asshole says matters. I don’t care if you were on the moon, he had no right to cheat on you.” His finger glides down from your mouth to your blouse as he begins undoing the buttons while the other man shifts behind you and unclips your skirt. 

Both garments fall effortlessly to the floor as Steve continues watching your face for any signs of hesitation or discomfort. 

“We’re going to do this one at a time, ok? I’m going to take off your bra and then Eddie’s going to remove your panties.”

Once he gets your approval, he leans over your shoulder and begins unhooking your bra from your body. You don’t know if it’s because he’s being so sweet or if it’s because his strong cologne wafts into your nostrils but something inside of you causes you to turn and softly kiss his cheek. 

Steve pulls back slightly, looking through your eyes till a small smile flickers across his lips. He and his friend had been doing this for a while but not one of them had been as tender at you had just been. He knew there was something different about you when he spoke to you on the phone and he knew Eddie felt it to when the metalhead completely turned off his music to talk to you. 

He hoped he wasn’t misreading things and took a leap of faith as he leaned forward to kiss your forehead before tossing your bra near the rest of your clothes.

Strong hands on your waist turned you so you were now facing Eddie as he sunk down on his heels, dipping his fingers under the waistband of your underwear, and delicately tugged them down your legs. The pads of his digits traced along your skin causing a little shiver to run up your spine. 

“You’re so gorgeous, Y/N.”

“I’m sure you say that to everyone.”

His grin grows as he stands up and looks down at you. “I did have a date with that telemarketer I told you about. Turns out he WAS really good looking.”

Steve smiled behind you when you laughed, gently guiding you towards their table, and helping you up as you lay on your stomach. Folding your arms above you, you rest your head on them like a pillow. The metalhead digs in a bag before kneeling in front of you again till his face was level with your own. 

“Which do you like better?” He holds up bottles to your nose and you point to one that smells like vanilla. 

“What are those?”

“Oil. Steve’s the smell guy and knows how to utilize them better than I do.” He stands up and passes the bottle you chose to his friend. 

“Honey, we’re going to touch you now, alright? It might feel a little weird at first because of the oil but if at any point you get uncomfortable and want to stop or take a break just let us know.”

“Okay.” You close your eyes, unsure of what to prepare for but when a set of hands begins rubbing into you back, you can’t help but let out a soft, low moan. “Shit. I’m—”

“Princess, this is your house. Make all the noise you want to and please don’t be embarrassed.”

“You can also talk to us if you want to. Maybe about things you’re stressed about.”

A second set of hands find your calves and a strong exhale leave your lips. “Honestly, you heard my main bit of stress.”

“Fucker Magee?”, Eddie asks. 

“Yeah.”, you giggle. “Everyone in my life thinks I’m overreacting and I should forgive him.”

“Um, we may not know the whole story but the man you were going to marry cheated on you. I think you’re reacting properly.” Steve’s hands trailed along your spine and back down to your hips. 

“I went to visit him at work and they were fucking in his office. Some pretty, young, big breasted coworker.” 

“What a bitch.” You smiled as Eddie laughed at his own comment, his palms massaging along your thighs and back down to your feet. “For how long?”

“A few months. We…we were supposed to get married next month.”

Fingers came up to firmly knead into your shoulders. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” Steve watched your lips form into a thin line before you pressed your face into your arms. As soon as you felt your emotions were in check, you turned your head back to the side. 

“That feels good actually.”

“Did you think the massage business part was just for show?”, Steve laughed.

“I mean… I don’t know. I don’t want to be rude.”

“Said the girl who called me an asshole.”

“To be fair, you were being one.” It feels almost on purpose when Eddie’s fingers slide up between your thighs just barely near your core before sliding back down your legs.

“You’re not wrong, sweetheart.”

Steve’s own hands glide up your sides, grazing the sides of your breasts before looping back around to your shoulder blades.  

“I hope I’m not being too forward but you have a beautiful body.”

“No, you’re not being too…thank you. Um, you-you can go a little higher if you want.”

“Who are you talking to, honey? Me or Ed?”

“Eddie… You can go higher to. If you want to…”

The hands on your back lifted off you as Steve came around to kneel in front of you on his heels. “How about we take it slow, huh? One thing at a time.” His palm petted your head as he moved the hair back from your face. You let out a little gasp when you felt the metalhead’s fingers slide between your folds. “Are you okay?”

You nodded as you bit your bottom lip, lifting one of your legs up the table to allow him more accesses. This man felt like a master with his fingers as he rubbed circles slowly into your clit.

“Pl-please.”, you whine. 

“Please what, Y/N? What do you need?

“Can…can I turn around? On my back.”

“Of course, pretty girl. Whatever you want.”

They patient waited for you to roll over before Eddie placed his thumb back on your nub. You watched with heavy, lust driven eyes as he stuck two of his fingers into his mouth, coating them with his saliva, and sliding them into your sex. 

“Oh wow, princess. You’re tight.” He exhaled, trying to hide the little moan that wanted to be heard. 

Steve stood back up to his full height, coming around to stand behind your head as he reached down and ran his hands over your tits, massaging them gently but firmly. 

“F-fuck.”, you whimpered. As your back arched, you could help but notice the bulge in his pants. When you tried to touch it with your palm, he jumped back like you startled him. 

“Hey. Um, you…you don’t have to do that, honey. We’re here for you.”

“You don’t want me to feel you?”

Your voice sounded so small; Steve felt his cock twitch. “I…I do…I just…you don’t have to.”

Grabbing his shirt, you yanked his lips to yours. The combination of man and mint on his tongue had you clenching tighter around the other boy’s fingers making him groan, this time much louder than before. 

“I want to.” You slid further up the table, allowing your head to hang a bit over the edge, licking your lips as the man pulls down his shorts just enough for his dick to spring free. “Jesus. I’ve never had anyone as big as you are before.”

He smirks as he subtly chuckles. “You can’t say things like that or else I’m going to cum before you even touch me.”

Your tiny hand reaches for him as he steps closer, mewling when your tongue runs along his tip. You don’t see it but the men give each other a cursory glance. This is a little out of bounds for them in the sense of they rarely ever have the women they massage service them in this way and on the off chance a client does it’s usually during the second part when they are alone with one of them in the bedroom. 

Steve continues to be gentle with you as he runs his fingers through your hair when you wrap your lips around his hard, now throbbing length. Eddie thrusts his fingers into you at a faster pace and your moans vibrate through to the boy in your mouth. 

“Goddamn, Y/N. Your mouth feels so good. Your ex is a fucking idiot.”

They both take note of your reaction, your head bobbing faster as your pussy clenches again. 

“He really is, sweetheart. Makes me want to call him back and curse that fucker out.”

Tugging your head back, you continue to pump him with your fist as your hips began to grind up into the metalhead’s hand.

“Fuck, I’m…”

“That’s it, beautiful girl. Just let go. It’s okay.” Eddie pressed the heel of his palm against your clit as he moves his fingers move at a quicker pace. The sound of your slick fills the room and after a few moments your body trembles as you cum. “Good girl. Coming like that. Geez, I’m so fucking hard right now.”

Abruptly, you sit up and grab the back of the man’s neck as you bring his lips to yours. After your release, your kisses were much hungrier and you reveled in the taste him as your hands shot down to fumble with his jeans. 

“Wait…are you sure…you don’t want Steve.”, he asks between kisses. “You’ve kinda…got him…all riled up.”

“Want both.”

Eddie froze as he pulled his head back. When you tried to chase his lips, his palms gripped either side of your face forcing you to focus. 

“Hey, you don’t have to do that.”

“Want to.” You tried to lurch forward again but he was much stronger than you, holding you in place. 

“Y/N, princess, come down from cloud 9 and really think about what you’re asking for.”

You couldn’t control the annoyed exhale or tone as your eyes met his. “Am I not allowed? I can pay you more.”

“It’s not about the money. We—”, Steve began before you cut him off.

“Want me to be comfortable. I know! I know what I’m asking for. Now, do you want to fuck me or not!?”

Ringed fingers snaked into your hair and firmly pulled it back. Something changed in Eddie’s eyes; a look he saved for partners he had in his own bedroom. 

“Control the attitude, Y/N.”, he growled. “Listen to what he’s saying. It’s not about the money and it’s not about getting off. It’s not fun for anyone here if you wake up in the morning with regret. And while this little session here IS all about you, don’t forget we’re people to. We’ve been doing this for years and no one has ever asked to take us both one right after the other.”

“I’m not asking for that either. I want you both…at the same time.” They look at each other again, unsure of what to do or say. Your hand reaches out to turn his attention back to you as you lean your forehead on his. “Please, Eddie. I know what I’m asking for. I need it. I need you both. Please, please, please.” As you keep repeating your last word, you manage to fully unbutton his jeans, glide your hand through the waistband of his boxers, and rub your palm against his cock.

His jaw falls open as your lips trail down his neck.

“I mean…if she thinks she can handle it.” 

Eddie growled again with more vigor as he lifted you into his arms and carried you to your bedroom with Steve in tow. After tossing you onto the bed, he tore off his shirt, and you marveled at his tattoos, crawling on your knees till you were in front of him again. His hands laced in your hair as your tongue descended down his chest, stopping just above his waistline to allow him to shuffle out of his pants. 

The bed dipped behind you, suddenly feeling strong palms grip your hips and lift them a bit higher into the air. Steve’s own tongue licked a long stripe through your folds causing your body to shudder pleasantly at the feeling. Eddie held the base of his cock, allowing the tip to brush against your lips. 

You opened your mouth for him and he wasted no time pushing through, groaning when your warm saliva began coating him. The metalhead was much thicker than his friend and at times you struggled to take him, gagging around his dick as he occasionally hit the back of your throat. 

The strong vibrations of your moans as Steve latched his mouth to your clit had Eddie’s own eyes rolling back as he held on to your hair tighter trying to control himself from just face fucking you till he came.

You weren’t sure if it was on purpose or not but both men were still massaging you with their palms, Steve especially. His hands rubbed and caressed firmly up your lower back, around to your stomach, and down to your thighs as his tongue flicked against your bundle of nerves. While one of Eddie’s hands remained in your hair, the other ran between your shoulder blades and around to your front to knead your breasts adding to your high. 

Your mouth came off the boy in front of you with a pop as drool dangled from your lips. 

“Yes, Steve. Please, you’re going to make me cum.”

You practically screamed as he pressed his mouth further into your core, sucking and licking until you felt the coil snap as you came. Your upper half fell flat against the mattress as you panted, smiling softly as your body continued to twitch. 

Eddie’s fingers left your hair and moved to your shoulders as he lifted you back up to your knees so he could see your face. 

“This is the last time I’m going to ask, sweetheart. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, Eddie, I’m sure I want you both inside of me.”

His head tilts to the side at your answer, mostly because it was said correctly, or at least how he liked his questions answered. He wondered if there was a submissive side of you that enjoyed it a bit rougher like they did. Both men NEVER brought that into the bedroom with a client and most of the time none of the women they were with never asked. 

You weren’t asking either but he imagined, like they did, that was something personal for you so you saved it for the man you were dating or intimate with. 

Eddie shook the thoughts from his head as his hand laced around your neck and brought your lips to his again. 

“Seriously, your fiancé is so fucking stupid to let you go.”

You smiled up at him and wrapped your arms around his waist as you yanked him closer to you for a hug. He could get used to this. 

“Have you ever done this before?”, Steve asked.

“This exactly, no. Have I ever done anal before? A couple of times. You may need to go a bit slow at first especially since…um…I’ve never had a man, men, as big or thick like you guys.”

You giggle when the boy exhaled again, grabbing your waist, and falling on to the bed with you on top of him. “You have to stop saying things like that. You’re going to kill me!”  

“What, do you want me to lie? ‘Oh Daddy. Your cock is average size and will definitely not split me in half.’” Your giggle turned into a full-blown laugh until you notice he had a funny little look on his face. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong? I was just—”

Steve leans up, cutting you off with a passionate kiss. “You’re an interesting woman. Eddie’s right. I seriously don’t understand why anyone would cheat on you. If you were mine, I don’t think I’d ever leave your side.”

“Aw…that’s creepy.”, you playfully smiled.

On impulse, he smacked your ass. They never did that first. Sometime a client would ask for a light spank but he just delivered you one he’s only given to bratty girls in his bedroom. He didn’t mean to but something about you made him comfortable.

“Shit. I…I’m sorry.” 

You shook your head, dismissing his apology as you kissed him again. Eddie reached over your shoulder to hand his friend a condom and they both hastily tore into the wrapper before sliding it on. His eyes met yours as he leaned back against your mattress and his hands gripped your waist.

“Whenever you’re ready, honey.”

Nodding, you exhaled the nerves as you tipped forward, and slowly lowered your body to his. You both moaned when his tip breached your entrance and Steve craned his neck to watch himself disappear inside of you inch by inch. 

“Fuck, baby. That’s it. Take your time.”

You heard the metalhead’s heavy breathing behind you as he stroked his cock at the site before him. The sound caused you to clench and a broken mewl left you as you pushed yourself further onto him. 

“Oh my god. You’re so…I can’t…”

His palm glided up your sides to caress your cheek. “Yes, you can, Y/N. You’re doing so good taking me already. Do you want some help?”

When you nodded, he firmly took hold of the back your neck and lowered you till your face was hovering over his. His hips thrust up to meet yours and your mouth fell open. 

“That’s it, baby. Good girl. I’m going to do it again, ok?” When you nod again, he pumped into you a couple more times till you felt him bottom out. “Good girl. Such a good girl. Jesus, so fucking tight. You feel so good, pretty girl. It’s Eddie’s turn. Let him know when you’re ready.”

After a few moments and subtly thrusts from Steve, you turned towards his friend and gave him the okay.

Hands spread open your ass and you tightened around the other man again when you felt spit hit your asshole and Eddie’s fingers massaging it in. Your body tensed slightly when the tip of his cock rubbed between your cheeks.

“Sweetheart, if at any point you want to stop, I want you to say ‘Red’ for me, alright? Can you tell me what I just said?”

“If…if—fuck—if I want to stop…say ‘red’.”

“Atta girl.”, he praised as he quickly leaned forward to kiss your temple. 

Prepared, Steve’s palms held on to your face as Eddie began to push into your body. Your head started to droop but his grip was stronger than yours. “Y/N, look at me, honey.” When you did what he asked, his thumb extended out to run along your bottom lip. “You’re doing amazing. How do you feel?”

“F-full.” The metalhead licked the pads of his fingers, looping his arm under your body to slowly and softly massage circles into your clit. “Oh my god!”

You tried to collapse against Steve’s chest but he still wouldn’t allow it. 

“Holy shit. Y/N, stop moving.”, he scolded in a firm tone before he realized what headspace he was slipping into and reeling himself back into the present. “Baby, not yet. You…you say you’ve never had anyone as big as us. I-I don’t know about, Ed but I’VE never…had a woman as tight as you.” He flashed you a small smile. “I’m trying so fucking hard not to cum right now.”

Eddie’s hair bobbed behind you and the man knew he was nodding in agreement. 

“You can—mmm—you can talk to me…like you did. I-I-I don’t mind.”

His eyes scanned over your face as your eyes closed. “Hey, I said keep your eyes open, sweet girl.” You purposely ignored him, grinding your hips forward slightly for good defiant measure. Both men grunted at the action but it was Steve who held your face tighter. 

“Look at me, now.” This time you listened. “What did I say, Y/N? Don’t fucking move. You need to be patient, little girl. Do you understand me?”

“Y-yes, I understand.” At that moment, the metalhead’s hips finally connected against yours. “You…you both can…move. Please, I need you to move.”

The man underneath you released your face and circled his arms around you as he pressed you to his chest. When they both thrusted into you at the same time, the euphoria you felt was indescribable. It was like they knew exactly what you needed and where they needed to be. Each stroke was strong and precise, hitting every nerve inside of you, and setting your body ablaze. 

“Go-go ahead, princess. You wanted—goddamn—you wanted to move so bad. Take over.” Eddie’s hand came down hard on your behind and you hurriedly (and willingly) did as he commanded. Their grunts and groans drove you crazy, egging you on as you bounced and rolled your hips as fast as you could. The obscene sound of skin hitting skin echoed in your room mixed with your whimpers of pleasure. 

It was almost too overwhelming as the ball in your belly began to wind faster and faster. Steve’s grip moved to your hips as Eddie held on to your shoulders.

“Cum, baby. Let go and cum as hard as you fucking can.”, the man under you whispered into your ear. Your forehead fell into the mattress beside his head as they both pounded into you. Their rhythm changed as they slowed, punching the air from your lungs as white blurs your vision. You scream into the bed below you as they fuck you through it, Steve lifting his hand to run his fingers through your hair.

“That’s it. Good-good fucking girl. Taking us both so well.” Eddie tilted forward, placing sloppy, wet kisses against your back as he rolled his hips. He soon followed after you, grunting loudly as he spilled into the condom. Steve, unable to hold back any longer, came as well, smacking his hips against yours and using you to milk himself dry.

#########

Eddie’s eyes blink open as his watch beeps signaling midnight. His eyes take a quick scan of the area, realizing they were still in your apartment. He and Steve were tucked under your sheets but you weren’t between them. 

“Steven.” The metalhead reached over to shake his friend’s shoulder. “Steve, wake up.”

“Huh? Wha?”

“Oh my god, you idiot. Steve. WAKE. UP.” Between each word, he firmly punched his arm causing the other man to grumble in anger.

“What?! Why are you in my room?”

“Oh, you know. I thought I could just use a nice Harrington cuddle. WE AREN’T AT HOME!”, he hisses. 

Steve rubs his eyes before Eddie’s words sink in and he bolts up right. “Shit. We fell asleep.”

“You don’t say.”

“Shut the fuck up, Munson. Where is she?”

As he shrugs, they both jump out of bed. Steve finds his clothes on the floor but the other boy struggles to find his. 

“I know I took them off here.”

“You did.” They both jump at the sound of your voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I woke up before you and noticed your clothes had oil on them from when you picked me up so I washed them for you.”, you softly smiled as you handed Eddie his jeans and shirt.

“Um, thank you. You…you didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s no problem. I was hungry to I heated up some left-over pizza if you want some.”

Their eyes scanned over you as you leaned in the doorframe with a mug in your hand. You had changed into an oversized shirt with a metal band that Eddie definitely knew and some sleep shorts. Your hair was a little frayed but to both of them you looked like an angel. 

“I mean, you don’t have to. I don’t really know what the protocol is or how this works.”

“Well, to be fair, I’m not sure if you noticed but this whole thing was a bit off script for what we normally do.”, Steve grins as he nervously chuckles. He has no idea what they are supposed to do either.

You silently nodded before turning and heading back out to the kitchen as they follow behind. 

“How, uh, how are you feeling?”, Eddie asks. 

“Calm. Oddly relaxed. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve felt like this since before I got in engaged.” You hop up onto the counter before meeting their gaze. “Thank you.”

They smile as Steve heads for where their things were as Eddie grabs a slice of pizza. “I made some coffee to if you want some.”

“Did you put our table and all that way?”

“Oh, yeah. I cleaned it to. I’m not sure if you’re supposed to use a certain type of cleaner but I just used my 409. I folded it and placed it by the door with your bags. I, um, I wasn’t sure if when you woke up you’d…want to make a quick getaway.”

They exchanged a look as your head hung. 

“Why do you think we would want to do that?” When you shrug at Eddie’s question, he saunters casually over to you and lifts your chin with his fingers. “Let me rephrase. Is that what you want us to do?”

“Do you want us to leave?”, Steve reiterated. 

“Like I said, I don’t know…how this works…”

“That’s not what I asked, Y/N.”

“No…I don’t want you to leave.”

They both grin at your answer. “We don’t want to leave either.”

Eddie starts to giggle through his teeth as he jumps on the counter beside you. 

“What’s so funny, Munson?”, Steve asks as he comes to lean on the counter across from you both. 

The metalhead intertwines his fingers with yours and you lean your head on his shoulder. 

“Nothing. Just…this gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘happy ending’.”

[glo0b]

Cuddles with a croc

I do not own the art or characters

whom: Sebek x gn!reader

TW: nsfw? if you squint hard enough

word count: 791

request: He gets turned into a camen in alchemy class, we’re one of only 3 responsible-ish people on campus, so crewl has us watch him, but doesn’t tell us what’s going on cuz he’s in a hurry. Croc in a blanket burrito, lots of Steve Irwin behavior from us and lots of kisses on the snoot, crewl takes croc back, Sebek now  gets quiet and turns bright red when we’re around lol

Thank you lovely @anunholyabomination for requesting this! I hope you like it since it's my first time writing a fanfic lol. Remember to drink lots of water and get lots of sleep so you can stay beautiful you!

================================================

It was any normal day in Alchemy class with Sebek. He was yelling at his poor partner for being an idiot and putting the wrong ingredient into the transformation potion till thick green smoke started to form. “HUMAN! WHY ARE YOU BAC-” Before poor Sebek could possibly continue destroying his classmates' ears the caldron explodes, covering the room in the thick green smoke. Slowly the smoke clears revealing a small caiman sitting where Sebek should have been standing.

Here you were peacefully sitting in Ramshackle relaxing on your very much needed day off when you heard a knock at the door. You gently move Grim off of your chest, careful not to wake the sleeping cat thing. You still had no idea what kind of species to identify Grim as. He could be a feline- aaaand now the knocking on the door is even louder and frantic. “Coming! Hold on!” You quickly responded as you rushed to open the door. You opened the door to reveal an equally tired looking Crewel holding a bundled up blanket that seemed to be emitting chirping like sounds…wait was that a caiman?! “Here pup, take care of him for me” Crewel simply shoved the bundled up caiman into your arms and leaves.

“But I don’t- sigh well I guess I’m gonna have to figure out how to take care of you myself.” You look down at the small caiman and coo at its cute little face. “Awww, you’re just a little guy~ Oh! I should totally give you a cute name to fit that little face!”. Poor Sebek, now he has to be cuddled by this human! Well maybe the cuddles won't be that bad. “Hmmm, y’know you remind me a lot of friends….plus you’re just as cute as him!” The caiman looks up at you as if he understood who you were talking about. “Your name should be like his, what about Seby?” Yuu looked into the caiman’s eyes and understood it didn’t seem to enjoy the name. “Don’t judge me! I’m bad at names…” You pout, trying to think of a name the small creature would enjoy. “What about Sebok then?” The caiman moves its head as if it was nodding. “Sebok it is!” You held Sebok close and kissed his little snoot. You had put Sebok on the couch and wrapped him up in more blankets so he would stay warm since you remembered how an Australian guy on tv had said caiman have to stay at least around 97 degrees and no more than 104 degrees. “I wonder how a caiman possibly got into NRC especially when it feels like the dead of winter out there.” You look down at Sebok and giggle when he starts to make the same chirping like sound from earlier. “I really should send a picture of your cute little face to Sebek, you’re just too adorable!” You lean down and start kissing Sebok’s little head while making exaggerated kissing sounds. Thankfully Grim was still asleep so he couldn’t see this disgustingly sweet action and get jealous. Sebok didn’t seem to mind the kisses that much, he actually seemed to enjoy them. 

A few hours passed of you showering Sebok in kisses and cuddles. “Oh my! It’s already past twelve!” You quickly pick up Sebok and the somehow still sleeping Grim and head upstairs to your room. You placed both Grim and Sebok on the bed before looking through your dresser to find some sleepwear. You start to undress and take off your undergarments so you could put on clean ones. Once you finish changing you turn around and find Sebok frozen in place. “Oh? Are you ok little one? Are you cold?” You sit down on the bed and put Sebok in your lap. “I’ll warm you up” You smile as Sebok nuzzles into your body and slowly starts to drift off. When the small caiman finally falls into a slumber you pull the covers over the two of you and slowly start to fall asleep yourself.

It has been a week since Crewel had taken Sebok from you. Even though you only took care of the caiman for a day you felt really attached to him. You also noticed how Sebek would blush when he was near you. The poor thing would always storm off while hiding his boner. Perhaps one of these days he would get rid of this burden by telling you how he feels….well of course after he’s had some fun with you in the janitor's closet or an empty classroom. If not Lilia will have to intervene so he can get the grandchildren he wants. Hm? Why did you get an invitation from Sebek to come have tea at Diasomnia?

[otterandterrierwrites]

wordless ways to say "i love you": 27. leaving a plate of food in the microwave for when they have a late shift.

for @hanleiahothwars

It was past 2200 when Leia finally got off her shift and headed for the Falcon, hoping she was still on time to catch Han, Chewie and Luke after dinner—and in time for some leftovers, so she wouldn’t have to circle back to the mess hall on her way to bed. She’d told them she might be a little late, but they’d finally received an update on a group of missing operatives, and it’d been over an hour before a rescue mission could be put together for the following day and Leia was finally relieved of duty.

The Falcon’s ramp was down, but inside everything was dim and quiet. Leia still wandered into the main hold, only to have her suspicions confirmed: she was a lot late to dinner. Luke had clearly left, but somebody on the freighter had to be up and about if they hadn’t yet closed the ramp. She was halfway down the corridor to the cockpit when she felt movement behind her—for a fleeting second, she was convinced she could tell it was Han, and her heart skipped a beat.

When she turned around, she found Chewie waving at her. She wasn’t disappointed to see Chewie. She liked Chewie. She was only mildly let down to find out her guess hadn’t been accurate.

‘Hey Chewie,’ she said, tamping down those ridiculous thoughts as she walked back into the main hold. ‘Sorry I couldn’t make dinner. Looks like I missed everyone.’

‘[We were going to wait for you, but Han was summoned to fix a problem with one of the X-Wings going out tomorrow, and Luke has an early shift],’ Chewie explained. ‘[Han asked me to wait a little longer for you.]’

‘I see… Well, I’m glad to have caught you at least,’ Leia said, giving him a smile and touching his arm briefly. ‘But I don’t want to keep you up—it was really kind of you to wait, but texting me would have been fine—it’s on me for being so late.’

Mess hall leftovers it was, then.

‘I’ll see you guys soon, all right?’ she said, starting to walk past him. It had been a long night, and loath as she was to admit it, she’d been looking forward to a couple of hours among friends, sharing in a meal that had been prepared with more than nutritional value in mind.

‘[Princess, wait!]’ Chewie roared behind her. ‘[That’s not all I had to say to you. Have you eaten yet?]’

‘No, but don’t worry about it—I’ll grab something from the kitchens.’

Sometimes there were sandwiches made with the leftovers available for people on the night shifts, although, since they went by an honour code, their availability tended to vary. If she didn’t have such luck, she could always grab a ration pack. Nobody was greedy about those.

Chewie shook his head. ‘[You don’t have to. Han saved you a plate from dinner and left it in the microwave. That’s why I stayed up.]’

‘Oh, really?’ She immediately brightened at the prospect of getting to enjoy Han’s cooking after all; a vast step up from even the least disgusting ration pack and the mess hall sandwiches. Chewie was already crossing over to the corner of the main hold that served as an unofficial galley, and turning on the microwave (on top of which rested the thermapad somewhat precariously—that was the way things were at the Falcon).

‘That’s very thoughtful,’ Leia said. ‘Thank you, Chewie.’

‘[It’s really Han you should thank],’ the Wookiee mentioned, bringing the hot plate to the dejarik table after a couple of minutes. ‘[He made sure we did not eat all of it. Of course Luke and I wanted you to have the leftovers… it’s just that it was hard to remember because it was nerf stew night.]’

‘Of course,’ Leia said, sitting down at the table and breathing in the flavourful steam of the dish, stomach growling in anticipation. She grabbed the fork Chewie had set down for her, but paused for a moment, as her throat grew tight. Yes; she was glad she got to enjoy Han’s food after all. He didn’t always do it in the most obvious ways, and he’d be quick to deny it if told so, but inviting her and Luke for dinner was one way in which he went against script and showed that he cared. And right now, sitting with a plate of steaming homemade food he’d made sure to save for her even though he didn't have to, that was exactly what she felt: cared for.

[espinosaurusrexex]

*intensely thinking of final answer*

*game show waiting music*

I think I'm going with miscommunication with Bucky.

*presses button to log it in*

*game show celebration music* congratulations! You have a Bingo!!! 💗 This was fun. I'm hoping it counts as Miscommunication because, technically, it's only one-sided. But I loved it so much I had to write it. Anyway - enjoy! 🥰

summary 'cause it's a little longer: You’re the new recruit with mind-controlling abilities and Bucky hates it. But after avoiding you for a while and being responsible for several dangerous situations because of it, Bucky is asked to resolve his issues with you. He’s not amused, but amazing things can happen when people are trapped in elevators and it makes Bucky realize that, maybe, you’re not as awful as he thought.

Miscommunication (Bingo Game)

!BINGO ASKS CLOSED!

BuckyBarnes x Enhanced!Female!Reader

word count: 3.3k

warnings: enemies to friends (for now?), grumpy!Bucky, angst, swearing, sassy reader, arguing, and me trying to be funny

“Can you make people cry?”

“Sometimes.”

“What about making them dance real good.” Another man chimed in. You remembered him introducing himself as ‘The Falcon’.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Are you a good dancer?” You smirked. 

“Is that a challenge?” He raised his eyebrows. 

“What about farts, can you make people fart,” The ant guy asked with enthusiasm. 

“I... I haven’t tried that yet.”

“Well, it would be a great prank.”

“I guess?” It wasn’t the weirdest thing you’d been asked before - you’d never forget that day your niece brought you to school for your magic talent... kindergartners asked the most unexpected questions. But hearing them from an adult was still a little unusual. 

“So you can just make people do things?” The youngest of the group asked.

“Pretty much.”

“How?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

His eyes lit up. “Woah, so you could make Mr. Falcon go and get me a bowl of popcorn right now?”

“Careful, spider boy.” The man - Sam, you believed - warned. 

“I could, yes.”

“I’ve never had this much power!” Peter rubbed his hands with a bright smile - his name was easy to remember with all the questions he fired at you.

“You still don’t, kid. Keep it down a little will ya?” The goatee man tapped his shoulder with the twitch of his brow. 

“Oh, yes Mr. Stark. Sorry, Mr. Stark.”

“Tony,” he corrected.

“Right. Mr. Tony, sir.”

You’d been here for thirty minutes and everyone was all over you. You didn’t mind, really. On the contrary, you enjoyed that the people you would work with were actually interested. Well, all except for one. It didn’t go past you that one person had been watching you from the corner the whole time, not losing a word, simply staring ahead broodily with his arms crossed 

“Alright, everyone,” Tony clapped once, “last question. I still have to show the rookie the rest of the compound.”

“Oh me, me, me!!!” Peter raised his hand and almost picked Tony’s nose.

“Barnes, do you have anything? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“I don’t need to know shit, Stark.” The brunette pushed himself off the wall, revealing a couple more inches to his height you had not noticed before. 

“Don’t be rude, Mr. Barnes,” Peter pouted; he seemed to be adoring you already. 

“I’m not rude. It’s just a stupid power that no one needs. It’s fucking dangerous and shouldn’t be part of the Avengers,” he exclaimed and proceeded to leave the room, making you feel a little sad and the rest of the team look baffled. 

“Well... okay.” Tony turned to you, rolling his eyes as Peter’s desperate noises reached his ears again. “What’s your question, Peter?”

“Miss, I don’t think your power is stupid. It’s super mega awesome and I seriously wish I could tell Flash about it, he would be so jealous!” You laughed. 

“The question, kid.”

“Oh, yes... can you make animals talk?”

-❁-

That had been about four weeks ago, and Bucky had been avoiding you ever since. He had heard what you could do the first day you got introduced, and thanks to Peter he had more than enough knowledge about how vastly your power reached. 

Mind control. That was the fucking last thing they needed on the team. How fucking ridiculous. Bucky didn’t want to have anything to do with it, or you for that matter. It was enough that Wanda had the ability to read minds, he didn’t need someone controlling them on top of it. 

So Bucky didn’t like you or your power or the danger that came with it, and he put a huge amount of effort into showing you his disdain. When you entered the room, he stood to leave. When you were assigned on a mission together, he tried to switch with someone else - earning him weeks worth of laundry duty for Sam and dishwashing chores for Nat - but that was worth it. And when he wasn’t able to, he communicated with you as little as possible, earning a couple of scoldings from Stark and Fury for not warning you of threats in time - but really, nothing bad ever happened, so Bucky didn’t know what the problem was.

And soon, much to Bucky’s relief, you started reciprocating the hostile behavior he displayed toward you on a daily basis.

Constant bickering, dangerous situations, and death stares were your new M.O. but Bucky knew it only meant for you to finally back off. Because you had tried to be nice to him in the beginning, and Bucky felt a little bad for making you sad, but it was nothing to how sorry he would be if he ever let you in. 

A gunshot sounded through the crackly speaker.

“Fuck!”

Followed by a round of grunts and hits of which a fair amount landed in Bucky’s ribs and face.

“Oh right, there’s a hostile headed your way. Sorry, must’ve slipped my mind. I’m a little ‘careless’ at times.”

Yep, that one had hurt. But he’d rather pack a punch than retract his comment about your being careless. Because that’s what you were - or rather your ability. Careless and dangerous.

Bucky watched as Steve crossed his arms after pausing the recording, his captain stare in full force as he watched his best friend lean back in his chair unimpressed.

“Buck, you know I don’t want to do this but it's also my job to make sure my team is conducting missions safely. So, what’s wrong? You don’t usually act this way - even with people you don’t like - so don’t even try.”

Bucky just huffed, crossing his arms as well. He didn’t feel the need to respond. This was ridiculous; everyone should see how dangerous you were.

“You got a chance to solve this the easy way here. Help me out a little, pal. If you don’t cooperate, I need to apply official protocol. So tell me, please, what’s the problem?” Steve’s eyebrows were raised in anticipation, but Bucky was too sulky to help. To hell with this ‘I’m your friend-‘crap - he should go ahead and apply official protocol, maybe they’d see that your ability alone probably violated six paragraphs of the Avengers’ Oath. 

He bit his tongue before losing another comment swirling in his head, looking out the window to distract himself from the unfortunate situation he found himself in. Bucky hated when Steve became all professional with him. It was stupid. 

“You’re putting yourself and the team in danger,” Steve tried again, “there must be a reason for your behaving like this. Let me fix it. Let me help-” 

“I don’t need fixing!” Bucky snapped, his eyes finding Steve’s in a heartbeat as he leaned forward in his chair. 

“Then what is it? Do you like her? Is that why you're being so...” The blonde’s hand flailed in the air as he tried to find the words to describe Bucky’s behavior. 

“Fuck no.” He leaned back again. 

“Language,” Steve warned, only to earn a side eye from his friend. 

Bucky knew exactly why he avoided you. And so should Steve. He was his best friend for fuck’s sake. This was the most unnecessary conversation he’s ever had. If anything, Steve should have his back and not try to ‘fix him’.

“You should talk to her.”

“Funny.”

“I’m being serious. What’s the issue?”

“You know damn well what the issue is, Steve!” Bucky rose from his chair but Steve didn't flinch. He merely scolded him for his cursing again. 

But after a minute of blank staring at each other, Steve broke the silence again. “You’re scared.”

And Bucky exhaled a long breath before training his eyes on the ceiling. “Of course I’m scared, Steve! There is nothing worse than not being in control.” He looked at him. “Im gonna hurt people. I have before. And being close to her... It just makes the possibility of the winter soldier returning a lot more likely.”

“She wouldn’t do that.”

“You don’t know that. She’s had no training; it could happen accidentally.

Steve was quiet for a while, just looking at his friend, assessing his comment. Bucky could see the wheels turning behind his eyes and after a while, he just stared out the window again until the blonde would present another righteous monologue to him. 

“You should tell her,” Steve finally said and Bucky wondered why it had taken him so long to come up with a sentence he’d already said. 

“I don’t need to tell her shit. Just keep her away from me.” He rolled his eyes, but he was desperate at this point. Bucky just wanted to go - leave and stop being bothered by everyone. 

Steve just shook his head in defeat - Bucky had done it again. Successfully shaken the unavoidable for today. He smiled to himself as he turned to leave the conference room. But before he could reach the last chair on his way, Steve held him back one last time.

“She’s a very nice person, you know? And your attitude towards her is affecting everyone on the team. Maybe, if you could look past your issues with her... You’d see how nicely she fits in with us.” Steve cocked his head to the side with a small smile. “I’m sure you’d get along if you just took the time to get to know her...”

But Bucky only replied with a bitter ‘shut up, punk’ before averting his eyes again. He didn’t like this at all. 

Steve sighed. “Just promise me you’ll do something.”

Bucky shot him one last look before turning and leaving without another response. 

-❁-

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Bucky looked at you through hooded eyelids upon your entering the elevator. 

You just ignored him. You had tried to be nice long enough, tried to make him your friend one too many times, each one teaching you just how vain the attempt had been. Because if you had learned one thing about Bucky Barnes over the past month, it was that he hated your guts and that he was not willing to try and be civil with you. So, you saw no reason to be nice anymore. 

“Don’t act like it's my pleasure either.” You turned and faced the door after pushing the buttons to your floor. 

Bucky just huffed behind you and you held your head a little higher, trying to let the seconds pass until you could leave again. It’s only an elevator ride - how hard could it be? But time seemed to pass slower than usual, and the unsteady rattling of the glass chamber going up the tower made the whole ordeal that much more unpleasant. 

That was until it suddenly stopped, a screeching sound echoing through the small space until the elevator halted abruptly, making you lose your balance for a brief moment. 

“What the-“ you muttered and pressed the floor button another time. Then again. And again. But nothing happened.  

You tried the emergency call button, but again, nothing. You were stuck. Several hundred feet in the air with Bucky Barnes. Great.

You took a deep breath, there were worse things, you tried to calm yourself, but upon stealing a glance over your shoulder, only to see Bucky glaring at you, that attempt disintegrated. Still, you chose to ignore him. You’d get out of here eventually. Someone would notice you were missing and look for you, check the security cameras, maybe - do something and finally break open these damn elevator doors. 

But then Bucky began to shuffle behind you, his steps clicking on the tiled floor of the lift, and uneven pace interrupted by the confines of the small room and it agitated you. It was enough you were stuck in an elevator when you had work to do. Now you couldn’t even concentrate. 

“Would you stop pacing?” You finally snapped and turned around only to see Bucky staring at you with wide eyes.

But he caught himself quickly. “What’s it matter to you?”

“It’s annoying. And as much as I hate to be stuck in here with you, we need to find a way not to kill each other until someone comes to help.” You turned back around taking another deep breath and enjoying the silence.

It didn’t last long though because the shuffling picked back up again soon. You waited another minute, but when Bucky made even more noise, a thudding sound coming from behind, you whipped around again to yell at him. 

But you stopped in your tracks as you saw him kneeling on the floor, his head tugged beneath his arms as his shoulder heaved rapidly. 

“Wha-“You moved forward to help but-

“Stay away from me!” He spat with fire in his eyes and then his head was back between his knees. 

You took a step back and assessed the situation. The posture, the heavy breathing, the slight shudder in his hands, the constant rocking. He was scared. He was having a panic attack. 

And as much as you wanted to avoid him, you were not cruel. When someone needed help, you helped. “Bucky-“ 

“I said stay the fuck away!” He crawled back into the corner.

You held your hands up in surrender, carefully trying to speak again. “I just want to help-“

“Well, I don’t need your help. Just back off!” The elevator shook with the boom of his voice, making your breath hitch. 

That was it, the last straw. All the pent-up anger of the past weeks bubbled to the surface, desperation and cluelessness balling up in frustration. You could barely feel it crawl up your body before you opened your mouth and screamed back. “What's your problem Bucky? I want you to feel better! What did I do that makes you hate me so much?!”

Your chest heaved in anger, your hands balling into fists as you watched Bucky get up slowly - eyes darker than you’d ever seen before. His arm whirred but he didn’t move it. He merely stepped a little closer to you, towering over you when his husky voice mumbled into the space between you. 

“I don’t hate you.” You swallowed and stared up at him, he was intimidating. “I’m fucking scared to lose control and-“ his vibranium arm shot up towards you but you stopped it in its tracks. Bucky’s fist was hanging in the air above you, your power holding him off and it took a fair amount of strength to do so. His eyes shot from his fist back to you, jaw tensing. 

“I would never do that.”

“You’re telling me I’m irrational?” He hinted towards his arm still held back by your control and you immediately let it fall back to his side. “...that it couldn’t happen by accident?”

“You underestimate me, Bucky.” You pressed with spite, willing him back a step to leave you space to breathe again. 

“I don't know you.”

“And who’s fault is that?” That shut him up. 

Bucky flexed his vibranium fingers, testing his own control again before his eyes found you again. 

“Let me show you.” You tried softly. Maybe this was the gateway to a start-over. At least now you knew the issue, now there was only solving it left. 

Bucky looked at you questioningly.

“Let me show you why you don’t need to be scared.” You smiled and somehow it softened the tension around you. 

Bucky’s shoulders relaxed when he stood up straighter. “And why would I want that?” He was stubborn.

“I’m offering an olive branch here. And after all that you have pulled, I suggest taking it. Because I cannot guarantee I’ll feel this nice again if you don’t.”

Bucky watched you carefully for a moment. As if he was trying to detect a joke in your statement, he analyzed every inch of your body suspiciously. And then after another minute, he sighed in defeat. 

“Then we need to get out of here.”

-❁-

Bucky was still a little wary now that you had dragged him outside. The sun was shining in the bright blue sky but having you stand so close to him was still making him nervous. He had no idea what he had just signed up for. 

There were a few people outside as well, all going about their days and when he turned his head to you, he noticed you watching them intently. 

“I can feel their energy,” you stated, making Bucky check if anyone was behaving as though he was influenced by you in any way - they weren’t. 

“And, yes, I can make living beings succumb to my will, but when I do, I feel their pain, their mental wars...” You looked at him and Bucky could feel your eyes pushing through to his deepest fears. “I wouldn’t make them do anything I wouldn’t want to endure myself... unless, of course... it’s necessary.”

Bucky thought back to a mission a while back. You had been utilized to make a hostile talk using rather unorthodox strategies. This time you actually had to hold them in place - position their limbs in places they shouldn’t be. He closed his eyes when he remembered your death cries. They had been hunting him for days. But other than you, the hostile had been killed. 

“You’re mentally linking with them,” he whispered almost ashamed for not noticing it earlier. Everyone on the team probably knew it already - he had just never taken the time to listen. 

“Yes.” He swallowed thickly, watching as you turned to him fully and he mirrored your action.

“If I were to make you- if I..,” you trailed off, took a deep breath, and shook your head. “I wouldn’t do that.”

And that’s when Bucky finally understood. All this time he had avoided you, fought with you, and despised you for thinking you’d be cruel for fun. He felt awful.

Your name slipped from his lips for the first time, calling your attention to his sorrowful eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

You nodded. “It’s okay. I understand it’s scary. I was scared of it, too, when I first found out... But I had a lot of time to learn. And now... I actually know how to utilize my power - control it. It even has some perks.”

Bucky’s eyebrows raised intrigued. A silent question to which you only responded by carefully reaching your hand out so his flesh one. 

“Can I?” You asked before actually taking it and Bucky just nodded while watching you carefully.  

He felt a lot calmer than he had before. And when you finally touched his calloused fingers, there was no urge to pull away like there had always been. You smiled at him and then nodded up to the sky, urging him to follow your stare.

“Look,” you whispered, and then Bucky felt his spine tingle. All of a sudden, it felt like his feet were lifted off the ground - smooth and subtle - almost comforting, he was engulfed by the feeling of floating - no - flying. 

His eyes followed the birds in the sky, which were now rounding effortless constellations several feet above his head and Bucky just knew that they were feeling the same - exactly the same. It was amazing, and even though it was a little strange and scary, your hand holding his made him feel unusually safe.

After a while, Bucky felt the feeling subside, the birds in the sky stopped flying above him and continues their journey east again. Your hand left his but he still felt lighter than he had ever before. 

His smile found you. “That’s actually pretty amazing,” he beamed before looking at the birds passing him and then back to you again. 

“Yeah... it is.” You smiled as well and Bucky felt all his doubts about you float away with the feeling this extraordinary experience had brought him.

Maybe mind control wasn’t as ridiculous and careless as he had thought it to be...

if you liked this fic, please tell me - it means so much 💓

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[heehoonieluvs]

I forgot

Heeseung x reader

Angst, fluff, smut

The way that the members are depicted in this story has nothing to do with how they really are or how I feel they are. It is all solely for the storyline so please bear that in mind 🫶

Summary: Y/N had been waiting her entire career for this moment but her loving bf Heeseung is no where to be seen

F/N = female name

Warnings: MDNI, cursing, oral (f receiving), ass play (f receiving), squirting, daddy kink, use of pet names (please do let me know if I need to add more warnings 🤍)

Masterlist

Y/N POV:

Tonight was the most important day for my career and it was only an hour till I had to arrive at the venue. All of these years that I had spent chasing my dream was finally going pay off. I was so excited yet nervous to show my friends and family what I had worked so hard for but I was especially excited to spend tonight with my amazing boyfriend Heeseung who had been nothing but supportive of my journey throughout our relationship. He had only just come back from tour a few days ago but he had been in and out due to his busy schedules as he had also just released his first ever collab with F/N.

I checked my watch once again. Why isn't he here yet? He hasn't texted or called at all today. Is he okay? I texted him again but got no response. I felt so upset and hurt that he hadn't even bothered to tell me what was happening even though he knew how much I was looking forward to tonight. Maybe he forgot? No he couldn’t have…

Just then, I got a text from my manager saying that my ride was waiting outside for me. I sighed and left, hoping that he was just late and would turn up to the event later.

Time skip

I looked around the venue, searching to see if Heeseung turned up. My manager said that there was no sign of him and he had not been responding to any of her messages. At this point I started to get pissed off. All these years that we had been together, I was there for him for everything. If he needed me there, I was there. No matter how big or how small the event, I was there. The one day I needed him there for me, he didn’t bother to turn up. I fought back the stinging tears that had threatened to fall and put on a smile as the awards started.

When the host announced my name, I felt an overwhelming amount of happiness inside of me. I gave my speech, thanking people that had helped me through everything. Just then the thought of Heeseung came up, reminding me that he had never turned up to witness this moment. I wrapped up my speech and quickly returned to my seat where I could see my manager and colleagues coming up to me. They all congratulated me and returned to their designated places, leaving me with my manager. I could tell that she knew what I was thinking and gave me a sympathetic smile.

"I know you're hurt that Heeseung isn't here, but just remember how strong you are and now you can show everyone that doubted you just how amazing you are."

"Thank you so much. I guess I just feel more disappointed at the fact that he never bothered to tell me what was going on."

"I know sweetie but he may have his reasons. Just live in the moment now and don’t let this tamper your special night"

I smiled at her feeling slightly better as a brushed aside the horrible feeling in my guts.

Time skip

I slammed the door shut and threw off my heels and jacket. Still no sign of Heeseung and it was way past the time that he usually came back. I shuffled my way towards the kitchen and went on my phone.

I scrolled through my social media accounts to kill time till he came back. Just then, I saw a news article from a few minutes ago saying LEE HEESEUNG AND F/N SPOTTED KISSING AT A PARTY. I opened the link, dreading whatever was about to pop up. The photos that came up gave me a shock as I looked at them. There were photos of them holding hands, cuddling, enjoying their time with their team. The last ones shocked me the most of them looking like they were kissing behind a tall plant and another with them on a balcony, supporting a shirtless Heeseung. Tears welled up in my eyes as I read through the blog. All this time I had spent worrying about him ended up being because he was spending time snuggling up with F/N. After F/N and her boyfriend had broken up days before, I had noticed that Heeseung had been going out more. I had never doubted Heeseung and I's relationship but this just made me feel betrayed, especially since he had missed today for it. I didn't want to believe that he had been cheating as I knew that he and F/N weren't the type of people to do such thing, so I shut off my phone and put on a film to gather my thoughts and think of how I’d confront him.

As soon as my eyes started to droop, I heard the familiar jingle of keys coming from the front door. Knowing who was on the other side, I ignored it and carried on watching the tv. When he walked in and spotted me, his entire face lifted, almost making me forget about how upset I was with him. He came over to me with open arms completely oblivious to the current situation.

"Baby! I missed you so much" he said as he came towards me, leaning in for a kiss.

When I saw it coming I moved away from him, leaving him confused as to why I was acting so cold towards him.

"What's the matter baby? Did I do something wrong?". He asked so many questions but I rolled my eyes and turned towards the screen.

"Babe, why are you dressed like that? Are you going out?"

If looks could kill, he was sure that he’d be 6 feet under right now. It took a second for the realisation to kick in before his face filled with guilt.

"Oh my god baby I'm so sorry. I-I completely forgot" he stuttered "I know nothing that I'll do or say can make up for this but I really did not realise. Please let me make it up to you?"

"Are you serious right now Heeseung? I cannot believe you" I shouted.

A flash of hurt came on his face as I said his name. I never called him that unless something was really wrong. He knew that this wasn't gonna be as easy as it usually is. He couldn't think of anything to say as all he wanted was to make his baby feel happy again. To see her beautiful face light up with her precious smile.

"You knew how much this day meant for me. I have always found a way to turn up to your events no matter what to support you yet the one time I wanted you here for me, you didn't even bother. I feel like I'm never important to you and I'm not even in the top 10 of your priorities. I don’t want to sound selfish but not once have I ever asked for anything in return yet you completely forget about my existence." I said with so much hurt in my voice. It made Heeseung’s heart hurt even more hearing it.

"Baby, please. Of course you're important to me. You're the most important thing in my entire life, don't ever say that you are any less. I know that I forgot about today and I'm an absolute idiot for not remembering but don't think that I don't care about you because that is not true at all."

I scoffed "Really? Because it doesn't seem that way since you've spent the day snuggling with F/N"

A look of confusion came upon his face once again "What do you mean?"

"Are you serious? I'm not stupid. I saw those pictures of you two together so don't start acting like you're so oblivious to this whole situation."

"Baby it wasn't what it looked like." He said panicking. He knew that there were photos taken but he didn't want people to take it the wrong way. He loved you more than anything and the photos taken manipulated what people saw to made it look a lot worse than it really was.

"That's what they all say Heeseung" I whispered, lowering my gaze towards my fidgeting fingers.

He sighed “Baby I know how those photos may have looked but I promise you, we only hugged once and it was after F/N’s manager made a toast to congratulate us on our collab.”

In a way I could understand that the whole purpose of the news article was to stir drama but it still didn’t explain everything.

“Okay. So how come this gathering just happened to be on the very night that you knew would happen for months? How come you were shirtless around F/N looking all cozy and shit.” All of the thoughts that had clouded my brain just spilled out my mouth like word vomit.

Heeseung had all the answers to your questions and was willing to explain everything to you. He already knew he was walking on eggshells and needed you to understand that he could never betray you in any way.

“I know I know princess, I should’ve remembered to keep this day free but it was a surprise set up by both F/N and my managers and they took me straight from dance practice. As for me being shirtless, I had just been pushed into the pool and was waiting for my shirt to dry. I know this all sounds like I’m just trying to make excuses but I promise bubba, everything that was shown in that news article was taken completely out of context.”

“And what about the two of you apparently kissing then?”

“Y/N I swear on Ddongsik that pic is absolutely bullshit. We were just having a conversation but it was taken from a weird angle.”

“Excuse me. Don’t bring my baby into this, he has no part in our drama.”

Heeseung chuckled “Ok I’m sorry princess but that’s the only way I can prove to you that everything I’m telling you is the truth.”

“I don’t know Heeseung. It’s just really hard for my to believe after you’ve been out so often and barely sparing me a glance whenever we have a bit of time together”

I could feel his soft fingers lift my chin up to look at him as he pressed his lips on mine. His love radiating, slightly melting the cold facade that I was putting up.

"No baby, you don't understand. Nothing happened between F/N and I, you can ask Jake. I just wanted to make sure that she was okay as she had been going through a rough time with the break up and all. I didn’t mean for it to seem like I was abandoning you but we’ve all been on alert since F/N didn’t seem like she had taken her break up well"

"I guess that makes sense and I trust you two. But with all of this and the recent comeback, I just can't help but feel insecure when everywhere I go, it's plastered with you guys."

"I'm so sorry baby. I know that's it's been hard for you but trust me when I say that I only want you. You're the one who I want to marry, have kids with and spend the rest of my life with. I can't see that with anyone else. I've been such a horrible boyfriend and I don't deserve an angel like you."

Seeing how distraught he was, I couldn’t help but reach out and embrace him

"Baby don't say that, you're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for."

"No, I missed the most important day of my princess’s career and made her upset. I cannot blame you for being mad at me. If I saw pictures of you with another guy, I’d be so pissed and I never wanna see my baby looking at another man with those gorgeous eyes. I cannot express in words how apologetic I am but I'm so sorry and I'll say it over and over again if it means that you'll forgive me"

"Baby you don't need to. I forgive you okay." I replied, leaning in to give him a soft kiss. As I moved back, he whined chasing my lips.

"One more please?" He begged

I giggled, making him smile so bright and leaned in for another kiss. Unlike before, Heeseung was more handsy, caressing every fibre of my body that he could reach. He slipped his tongue out to trace my bottom lip, silently asking permission for me to open my mouth. However, I decided to tease him and keep my mouth shut which caused him to whine and pull me closer. He then grabbed me by my waist and pulled me till I straddled his lap. He then reached down and grabbed a handful of my ass, causing me to gasp and give him enough time to sneak his tongue into my mouth. Our tongues caressed each others making us moan. He sucked on my tongue and groaned as I grinded onto his dick.

"Fuck baby." He moaned "You're making me so fucking hard right now. No one can ever make me feel like this. Only you princess."

He moved his mouth to my neck and sucked on my sweet spot, making me moan his name.

"God baby, say my name like that again" He said as he rubbed my clit through the lace of my thong.

I moaned his name over and over again as his started to rub even harder and faster.

"That's right baby. That's my good babygirl"

He lifted my dress over my head, leaving me in my black lace thong. Grabbing my boobs he leaned in and sucked on my nipples as he pulled my thong aside and rubbed my clit, rolling it between his fingers.

"Oh my god baby that feels so good" I moaned into his ear.

Then I could feel his finger entering my pussy and he started to pump it in and out.

"That's right babygirl. You're dripping all over daddy's fingers aren't you? You're such a good girl."

He carried on fingering me as he whispered sweet nothings into my ear. His palm rubbed on my clit every time he pumped his fingers.

"Climb up baby, I want your juicy pussy to drip on my mouth. Let daddy have a taste" he said whilst licking his lips.

I climbed up and hovered over his face, letting him marvel at the sight of my juices dripping out from my pussy.

"That's it princess, give that juicy pussy to daddy. I wanna drink up every bit of you" he growled as he reached up for your ass to pull you down.

Being the tease that I was, I shimmied down slowly, taunting him, causing him to whine and try to stretch his neck to reach it.

"Come on princess, let daddy make you feel good"

As I lowered my pussy onto his mouth, he quickly grabbed my thighs, forcing me to grind my pussy onto his face. The vibrations of his moans went to my pussy causing me to grind down harder onto his tongue and let it fuck me deeper. He ate my pussy like a starved man shaking his head to get deeper. The pleasure was too much and I tried to get up a bit to let him breathe but he growled like a wild animal and pulled me back down to his greedy mouth.

“Don’t even think about moving away from me beautiful.”

He then started to move to my clit to suck and lick over it and move back to bury his tongue in my pussy. He repeated the process until I felt myself getting closer.

"Oh daddy I'm gonna cum. Please let me come."

"Yes that's it baby. Come in daddy's mouth" he growled. He brought his fingers up and started fingering me. He curled his fingers and started hitting my g spot. I moaned so loud, addicted to the pleasure that he was giving me. "Come on princess, you know what daddy wants you to do. Squirt your delicious juices everywhere. Soak daddy's face, I wanna drink you up."

He carried on fingering my g spot as his sucked hard on my clit. Then I felt an overwhelming feeling of pleasure as I squirted all over his face. He moaned as he sucked on my pussy, lapping up my juices. I carried on grinding on his face to ride out my orgasm as he greedily carried on eating me out.

"More baby. I wanna take all of it. Give it to me."

I whined as I felt my pussy getting sensitive. "But daddy, let me make you feel good. I wanna suck your dick."

"No baby" he responded "tonight is about you. I want you to come all over my face till you can't take it anymore and you're begging for me to stop."

"Please daddy? Just a little taste?" I asked in my cutest voice with the most adorable pout that I could muster.

But as much as Heeseung wanted to fuck your cute little mouth, he wanted to taste you all night and not stop. He was so addicted to you and needed to have your taste on his mouth.

"Daddy said no princess. Another time. Now let me eat your pussy again". And with that he pulled me down so my shoulders were on his lap and my legs were over his shoulders.

His face hovered over my pussy and he looked greedily like a predator waiting to pounce on its prey. He observed the way my pussy glistened and how it clenched tightly from the intensity of the previous orgasm. He also observed how my asshole looked so inviting, tempting him to have a taste. He they dived in with his tongue and once again started tongue fucking my pussy. The new position caused so much more pleasure, making my eyes roll back. As he shook his head and sucked my clit, he looked at me with so much love and lust. We held our gaze as he stopped and moved back. I was about to complain but stopped and gasped when he stuck his tongue out and dipped it into my asshole. As he fucked his tongue in my puckered hole deeper, I could feel it wriggle inside me, making me moan even louder. I could feel him smile as he ate my ass out. If that wasn't enough he started to nod his head as he licked all the way from my ass to my clit over and over again. He did that for a while and went back to tongue fucking my ass. He could see my pussy clenching as I tried to hold back my orgasm but he wasn't having it. So he brought his hand up and started to rub my clit fast as his other kept me balance and close to his talented mouth. I carried on screaming, not caring if others could hear. Heeseung was so turned on and was desperate to taste you again.

"Come on baby. That's it. Squirt for daddy again. Yes. Yes. YES!" He screamed as you showered his face. At once he drank up your juice, not letting any go to waste. He held you close as he buried his face, not wanting you to get away from him. "God princess, you're so fucking sexy, squirting on daddy's face. Are you okay?"

My heart melted at his concern wondering how he could be so perfect "Yes daddy"

He let me down so I could sit on his lap as he held me like a baby, his baby. As he stroked my back, he littered my face with tiny pecks, causing me to giggle. I buried my face into his neck whilst he hummed into my ear.

"I really am sorry baby. If I have to I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you" he whispered in my ear.

I looked up to him and kissed his pouting lips "No need to baby, it's over and done with now. I love you"

"I love you too baby"

…

"So can I suck your dick now daddy" I asked in a cute voice, looking at him like a puppy.

He grinned back at me "You're gonna be the death of me you cheeky little monster"

Let's just say that I got a lot more than I bargained for that night... or maybe week 😏😉

Author’s note: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my ff, I hope you enjoyed it. I know this is quite all over the place in terms of who’s speaking but I’m aware that my writing isn’t the greatest 😅 please look forward to more works in the future and don’t be afraid to give me some “inspiration” for future smut and for which members 🤭

[abiiors]

red lines - pt. 1 ║// matty healy x reader

a/n: i want you to read this very very carefully: i am pro-choice and i will always be pro-choice. and this is a work of fiction. also feel the need to add that this is more a collection of small vignettes??? ugh idk, hope you enjoy regardless cw: *deep breath* angst, pregnancy, mentions of abortion, mentions of vomit, (and other pregnancy symptoms), crying (so much of it my god) and arguments, mentions of smoking, illness, hospitals, panic attacks, reader has a good relationship with her mother so i guess that's a cw too, (most definitely inaccurate) descriptions of birth. wc: 4.6k

two red lines is all it takes to ruin a perfect life. 

two red lines repeated twice on two different tests that stare back at you from the counter—innocent and white and damning. the bathroom is utterly still, save for the tap dripping one drop every seven seconds. you would know, you counted it, used those seven seconds to ground you and stop you from spiraling into another panic attack for the three minutes it took to get those two red lines. 

pregnant. 

with two more weeks left on tour by matty’s side. 

gingerly you wrap them in toilet paper, make sure they’re safe and secure and nothing’s peeking out. you throw it in the bin, looking at it with a deadness on your face that you feel deep inside. then you call the reception and ask them to take out the trash. 

matty isn’t here. he’s on stage, serenading thousands of people who hang on to every single word he says, looking at him with all the love and adoration in the world. matty, your matty, who belongs as much to you as he does to the people, the fans. you should have been there too but there was the migraine and the nausea that wouldn’t go away. so you told him you would just sleep it off tonight. 

have an amazing night, babe. break a leg. and then a sweet kiss and a promise to see him tomorrow. 

and then the two red lines.

every time you blink you see them flash in front of you—like a promise or a warning. or maybe even a sentence. 

pregnant. 

a baby. 

a cause for happiness and celebration. 

and the conversation from a week ago that lingers in your mind, echoes inside your skull as if those words are the only ones you remember. 

i’m just not ready love, he says, not now. maybe not for another year or two. i don’t know, babies are a lot of work. and i am a lot of work. 

i love you, he says, kissing you deeply and tasting his own cum on your lips. i love you but a baby right now is a hard no. 

nothing in particular spurred this conversation really—just the two of you, naked, and tangled up in the sheets, his hand caressing your lower stomach and you letting yourself daydream. who knew the daydream was indeed reality? and now here you are, head in your hands—partly from the migraine, partly from the anxiety—waiting for him to be back. 

he will change his mind, you know it. matty loves you, and this baby is half you, half him. he will come around and you will be there to soothe his worries. you know he will hear the baby’s heartbeat and fall in love. 

you know he will treat them like the most precious thing in the whole world. 

the thought makes you smile and the door creaks open. 

“pregnant,” he looks at you warily, “what do you mean pregnant?”

the small smile on your face fades away. “pregnant with a baby, matty. what other kind of pregnant is there?”

you wonder if you meant to joke, if he will break character and laugh and everything will be okay again. maybe you just caught him by surprise, this is just a blip. in two more minutes, he will smile and drop down to his knees and kiss your still-flat stomach. he’ll say hello to them. tell them he loves them and then tell you how much he loves you, kissing you gently and pulling you into him. 

you can already feel his feather-light touch on your skin. his mouth lingering on your lower stomach on his way down. 

matty stills in place. 

“no…”

one word, it’s small and broken and so unlike him that you almost do a double-take. 

“what do you mean no?”

“i can’t okay?” his voice rises, “i told you i can’t!”

you can sense the agitation he feels, his hammering heartbeat and the shallowness of his breaths. his hands runs through his hair, spilling the curls everywhere. 

“you’re on the pill.” 

“i think…” you hedge, tears gathering in your eyes, “i think i missed a day.”

he snaps his head up to look at you. when matty first came back to the room, he looked happy and giddy—cheeks pink and hair stuck to his forehead from the sweat. now he looks grey and listless. like all the colour’s been zapped out of him. 

“you missed a day,” he repeats. 

“matty, please…”

but matty is already turning around and storming off to the balcony. through the glass you watch him light a cigarette with shaky hands, taking a deep drag before he tips his head back and blows it out. another drag, another blow. eyes closed. breathing that slowly goes from rapid to normal once again. 

five minutes later, only the stub remains and matty is back in the room. 

“i can’t,” he says firmly. “i told you i wasn’t ready.”

it sounds final. like a death knell. instictively your hand covers your stomach.

“i won’t,” you shake your head and the tears fall rapidly, first down your cheeks then your chin and onto your chest. “i won’t get rid of it.”

matty stares at you quietly, you stare back. it seems you’re at an impasse. 

twenty minutes later, you pack your bags. 

london is greyer than it has ever been, especially from your new flat so far away from the hustle and bustle of the city. not that you’ve had much time to get acquainted with the new area after being bent over the toilet for days on end, retching and heaving until there’s nothing left inside you. a hollowness so deep that no amount of food or water will fill it. 

so you eat strictly for the baby. pre-natal vitamins and supplements and a nutritious breakfast that you throw right back up. but you try. all for the sake of the tiny clump of cells dependent on you. the image of the two red lines has long been replaced with a grainy black and white rectangle. every time you close your eyes, you see the screen lit up with an image of your little bean, moving around. in some far back corner of your mind, you think they look happy.

at night you curl up on your cold bed, phone in hand, the baby’s heartbeat playing on repeat. it used to be his, your brain reminds you painfully. back when you slept all cuddled up with him. head on his chest, his soothing heartbeat lulling you to sleep.

you mother is worried about you. she calls at least thrice a day to make sure you ate every meal and took every pill. she comes every sunday to stock you fridge full of vegetables and fruits and make sure you have enough ginger and peppermint tea. sundays, begrudgingly, become your favourite. your mother, once again, becomes your best friend. 

but you can’t let her move in. can’t let her be a constant presence and drive you crazy and unearth him every chance she gets. so like clockwork, at 6 pm, you usher her out the door, tell her you need privacy and quiet and solitude. like every single time, she promises she’ll be back next sunday. 

and every single time she keeps her word.

one day you wake up to a change—a small one, really, but a change regardless. barely even noticeable at first. it’s your top that doesn’t reach all the way down. maybe it shrunk in the wash, you think. then the full length mirror reminds you of the reality. and the tiny little bump that’s seemingly grown overnight. 

your little bean. suddenly so real. so tangible. so present. 

“hello, little one,” you coo at your stomach, feeling a little silly at first. there’s no reply, of course, just the sounds of morning traffic coming in from the open window. but your eyes stay trained on the bump. “you weren’t so noticeable last night.”

nothing happens. no movement (of course, not. they’re too small for that.), no one appreciating the change with you. matty who should have been here to witness this…

matty who isn’t here to witness this. 

emotions swirl in your head so fast that it’s dizzying. this time there’s no tears falling one by one. there’s the sobs that come all of a sudden and the floodgates that open in the blink of an eye but he is not here to hold you or pull you into his chest when you gasp and gasp for a breath that never comes.

in a panic you dial the first number you can find in your contacts, gasping and yelling out broken sentences and panicking at whoever’s picked up. it’s 8 am on a wednesday, whoever you called must be utterly bewildered. yet when you can focus enough, you realise it’s a man’s voice replying. a familiar voice. shocked and equally panicked and asking you if you’re okay again and again. 

you pull the phone away from your ear and look at the screen. at adam’s name flashing on it. 

the first contact on your list. one starting with an a.

“fuck,” you mumble. “sorry, i’m okay. i’m fine.” and then you hang up, and rock yourself back and forth on the ground until your breaths resemble something normal. 

fifteen minutes later, there’s pounding at your front door and the bell rings incessantly. in your gut you know it’s adam. and it’s confirmed when his voice floats through the door. 

“open the door,” he urges. “i need to know you’re okay.” 

and so you pull yourself back up, harshly wipe away the tears and unlock the front door. 

it’s only been a month since you last saw adam but he looks different. his hair’s grown out, his dark circles are gone and in spite of the worried look on his face, he looks happier somehow. healthier. 

being back home with the love of your life and your baby will do that to you.

“you look well,” you croak out and then clear your throat. adam doesn’t take the bait. 

“do you need me to take you to the hospital? call your gp?” straight to the point as always. you smile at him fondly. 

“no, no i don’t. i’m okay, i promise.”

“you didn’t sound okay.”

“i meant to call my mum, adam. sorry i dialed the wrong number.”

“regardless,” he holds up a hand. “can you please talk to me. or talk to mat—”

“don’t.” the voice that comes out of you is stern. “he doesn’t want me or the baby. i will not let him talk me into an abortion.”

adam winces and rubs a hand over his face. perhaps that was harsh, you think, he’s not some evil villain. but none of it changes the outcome. in every single universe, you end up here—fresh off a panic attack in your living room, talking to your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. 

“how did you know where i live?”

at that he looks a bit sheepish. “i asked you mum. not today!” he reassures hastily when your eyes widen. “don’t worry. i asked her a few days ago. i wanted to… i’ve been meaning to check up on you.”

“and you couldn’t call?” you smile at him wryly. 

“no. i wanted to see you in person.”

“so you can report back to him?”

adam clicks his tongue and warmth fills your chest. he’s always been good to you, always been kind, and loved you like a little sister. you shouldn’t have cut him off like this. 

“no,” he says. “so i could make sure you were okay.”

it’s a small mercy that the morning sickness eases a few days after that as your bump continues to grow. more often than not, you find yourself with a hand on your stomach, drawing small circles on it and humming to it. lately, you’ve also noticed the little flutters that linger long after you stop humming. your baby responding to you. showing you they’re there. 

it’s not far before you approach the twenty week mark. the most important scan you’ll have throughout. you’ll find out the gender, you’ll find out if they’re healthy or not. 

and each time you think about it, it’s like the weight of the entire world is on your shoulders. 

the night before you contemplate calling your mum, nervous and panicked once again but it’s almost 11 pm. she would be deep asleep by now—she would be excited too. no need to put a damper on her mood. 

then you wonder if calling adam is a good idea. but you quickly scrap it. 

for the first time in months your finger hovers over the familiar name in your contacts. over the little heart that’s still next to his name that you never bothered to change. 

what will he say if you called him now? will he even pick up?

are you ready enough to brave it? 

the truth still remains. you want this baby, he doesn’t. the same impasse you were at months ago. if any of that had changed, he would have called you. he would have reached out… right?

so instead you do the second stupidest thing. you type up his name in google. 

your stomach churns with nausea or anxiety or just impending doom while the webpage loads—slow, too slow for your liking. or maybe time has simply slowed down and you’re too much of a coward to really face the consequences of your own action. 

the webpage loads. the frown on your face deepens. 

nothing. rather, the last article written about him specifically is from two days after the tour ended. everything after that is either recycled news, or some silly quiz about the band. nothing about him. no pap photos, no social media activity. absolutely nothing to indicate he’s even left his house in the last few months. 

you mind buzzes with all kinds of thoughts, swirls with wicked possibilities. you almost even text adam about it before the turning your phone off abruptly and chucking it to the other side of the bed. 

no more temptation. 

sleep is like a fickle friend—has been since the day you left the hotel room in tears. but you close your eyes and imagine your baby’s heart beating inside you in sync with yours. tomorrow, there will be a new recording to replace the older one. hopefully one that’s stronger. calmer. 

when sleep drags you under around three in the morning, you dream of his hands—fingers gingerly touching your stomach, resting on all the spots that flutter with movement. gentle hands that massage your sore feet and work out the kinks in your back. 

hands that you might never feel on your skin ever again.

the doctor smiles coyly and slides an envelope to your mother. it’s a little hush-hush secret, one she insisted on and begged till you relented. the gender reveal isn’t huge or flashy but you know there’s a cake waiting for you at home along with a few friends and family. and for the first time in months, you let the excitement of it wash over you. 

the scan was perfect! and now you feel a bit bad for clutching your mum’s hand hard enough till she’d winced (even though she hid it quickly and smiled at you in encouragement). so now here you are, thanking the doctor and practically skipping out the room with your mum laughing in tow. 

she looks lighter too, you realise, much more carefree as she gushes about her precious grandbaby and how excited she is to meet them. 

“we have to buy onesies!” she squeals getting behind the wheel and you laugh.

“we will, mum, but they’re going to grow out of it in weeks so you can’t go crazy, okay?”

she dismisses this with a wave and a pfft and you can already imagine the mountain of clothes she’s going to buy over the next twenty weeks. 

you nod off to the sound of your mum excitedly making plans for an elaborate baby shower, one that you’ll have to beg her to tone down, but her voice fades away soon. instead, you dream of him. your subconscious wonders what he would have been like today—maybe he’d cry out of excitement or being overwhelmed, maybe he would smile so wide his cheeks hurt. in some parallel universe the two of you would be in the baby aisle—hand in hand and cooing over tiny onesies. 

in this universe, you jerk out of the daydream just as your mum parks in the driveway. 

your friends and family don’t yell “surprise”, much to your relief. there are many hugs and congratulations. tears of happiness and jokes and then a delicious vanilla cake brought in front of you. 

everyone waits eagerly. no one brings him up. not even you, as you sink the knife into it and cut a slice. 

it’s pink. a gorgeous, pale pink. it’s a girl. 

everyone cheers. your mum hugs you and you sniffle into her shoulder while laughing giddiy. a girl, your baby girl. 

right then you know what you’re going to call her—you don’t need baby name lists on google or a hundred suggestions from your mother. you already know her name. 

mia.

mine and mine alone.

blink and twenty weeks go down to fifteen and ten and then five. each day it seems like you only get bigger and bigger, impossibly so. your life is filled to the brim with baby stuff, inside and out. everywhere you look there’s either a pram or a crib or pregnancy books. every time you get one spare minute you’re reminded of the back aches and sore feet. the constant hunger that just does not seem to go away no matter how much you eat.

your mothers visits increase from only sundays to whole weekends to three days a week. 

at first you protest—fuelled by hunger and hormones and mood swings. fuelled by the rage of a thousand burning stars as you stomp into the living room where she’s folding yet another batch of baby socks and blankets. 

“you’re suffocating me!” you snap, already on the brink of tears while she looks at you like you’ve grown two heads. 

“baby—”

“no! mum,” a deep breath and a few stray tears, “i’m not a baby. i’m having a baby for fucks sake.”

“language!” she scolds.

“stop it, just, please!” there’s not much you can do but stomp your foot like a petulant child. proving her point most likely. “stop acting like i need to be coddled and protected. just. stop!”

your mum looks speechless, too stunned to speak but the ball is rolling and now you cannot stop. 

“i don’t need you here. i don’t need you acting like i would crumble and wither away without you. i don’t need you and i certainly don’t need him—fuck!” you gasp for a breath, choking mid-sentence. 

the second those words spill out of you, you want to take them back but it’s too late. her eyes are already red-rimmed and glossy. one tear rolls down her cheek and that’s all it takes for you to break down completely. 

“fuck!” you repeat. “i’m sorry, mum. i’m so sorry.” that’s the only thing you can chant until she chucks the clothes aside and wraps her arms around you, shushing you the best she can through her own tears. 

for the first time in eight months you wonder about what if. and for the first time in eight months, you think about his words from that night. 

maybe not for another year or two.

you’re closer now to the one year mark that you’re to that night. mia kicks your insides again—her own version of support or maybe it’s her doling out punishment for never introducing her to her dad. either way, it’s not helping. all it does is spread pain throughout your lower body as you hold onto your mum, rocking back and forth. 

“it’s alright, sweetheart,” you mum whispers gently, kissing the crown of your head and cradling you like she used to when you were a kid. it makes your emotions worse. increases the ache tenfold. 

“i miss him, mum,” you admit finally, in a voice so small that you might as well not have spoken. but she hears it anyway. she hears it but doesn’t interrupt. she lets you speak. 

“every single day i wonder if he even gives a shit. or if he regrets leaving me, leaving us. i speak to adam and carly and i wonder if they ever tell him about me. i wonder if he even cares…”

you gulp down air, wiping your nose on the sleeve of your jumper and cuddling into her further. 

“and after everything. i miss him more than anything in this world.”

there it is. the truth, finally out there, finally spilled after months of pretending to be cold and callous. you wait for her to speak, to say something that will dull the pain and release you from this torment but she never gets the chance. 

because that is the moment your daughter decides to make her grand entrance.

it’s pain like you’ve never felt before. 

pain and panic and unadulterated fear. she’s not supposed to be here yet. you’re only 35 weeks pregnant—nowhere near full term. what if this affects her negatively. you blame and blame—first yourself; you must have done something wrong, right? ate something wrong or not taken the right vitamins or slept the wrong fucking way. then you blame matty. if he was here, you would have never been this stressed and unhappy in the first place. everything would have been smooth-sailing. 

and yet a small part of you yearns for him to be here. to brush your sweaty hair away from your forehead instead of your mother as the doctor yells at you to push. 

it’s all too much, all too soon. this is not how it’s supposed to be. this is not how any of this is supposed to be. 

the machines around you beep in a rhythm that’s all worng—it’s too loud and erratic and out of sync with the rest of the world. surely, that’s not how fast your heart’s beating. maybe the beeping is something else you’re unaware of. and yet your body feels hot and cold at the same time. too weak to move but pushing and contracting and tearing you apart from the inside. you’re vaguely aware of the screams that tear out of you, of gripping your mum’s hand so tightly that you worry, you’ve bruised it. 

but she’s strong, stronger than you’ll ever be. she endures and passes along some of that strength to you. 

“one more big push,” the doctor encourages. she’s a kind, middle-aged woman. probably someone who’s brought many babies into this world. she knows what she’s doing. but your body won’t cooperate. 

all you feel is a bone deep exhaustion that tries to drag you under as your mother taps your cheek. 

“a big push, baby,” she repeats. “one big push and her shoulders will be out.”

and that would almost be the end of it, right? so you nod with whatever’s left in you and breathe the way they taught you in birthing classes. 

and that’s how it goes. inhale. hold. exhale. gather strength. push. all of it done to a constant stream of rather futile encouragements. until you feel like you’re bursting at the seams and coming undone. about to unravel any moment. 

but then a tiny cry echoes around the room and the world comes to a standstill.

mia’s arrival changes everything in the blink of an eye. 

you have no time left for self-pity; every waking moment is occupied with feedings and nappy changes and laundry. you sleep when she sleeps, you hold her close every chance you get. you sing her and cradle her and shower her with enough affection for two people. she has you and your mum. she doesn’t need anyone else. 

slowly you let other friends and family visit—extremely selective and protective about who gets the priviledge but one afternoon when adam messages you know you can’t deny that to him. even when you’ve tried to keep him, and all of them by entension, at bay. 

in another universe, she would have been his goddaughter. you’re sure of it. 

so you let him and carly and their son visit, let them hold her and gush over her. carly instantly falls in love with her, cradling her close and trying to make her smile even though she’s just woken up. mia babbles at her and grabs her shiny necklace. 

you watch them transfixed, giggling at carly’s squeals and coos until adam asks if he could speak to you alone. 

“i don’t want to step over a boundary,” he starts and you know what’s coming but you let him continue. “have you thought about letting him know? that she’s already here…”

“i…” in all honesty, you had wondered if you should call him and let him know. but what if he still doesn’t care. “i didn’t. i couldn’t.”

adam’s face softens. “he’s back in london, you know? you could. you could try.”

that piques your interest. you hadn’t knows he’d left in the first place. “he’s back?”

adam takes a deep breath, eyes darting slightly and lingering on his wife as if he’s trying to steel himself. as if he has some news he’d rather not share. in the end however, maybe he chooses not to.

“yes, he’s back,” he says, trying and failing not to sound cagey. “he wasn’t until now. but if you would talk to him… just, i think you should talk to him.”

for the rest of their visit, his words linger in your mind. they stay even after the hanns leaving, promising another visit whenever you’re free next and you tell them they’re welcome any time. this time, you even mean it from the bottom of your heart.

but adam’s words come back to haunt you day after day as mia continues to grow. day after day you watch her learn about new things and figure out new stuff around her.

matty should be here. if not for him then for her. and once again you wonder about calling him.

one last chance. if he ignores this then he loses the right to his daughter forever.

so one tuesday morning, you gather the courage. you strap your baby to your chest and go downstairs to make some pancakes.

“after breakfast, darling,” you tell her, even though those words aren’t meant for her. “after breakfast we’ll call him again. maybe he will pick up. maybe he won’t.”

mia babbles when you kiss her head and flip a pancake, ignoring the worry that settles in the pit of your stomach. you’re so focused on the task at hand (rather, at ignoring the thoughts of impending doom) that you almost miss the doorbell that rings once and then again.

so focused that you have to scramble to wash your hands and rush to the door. maybe it’s your mum again, even though she wasn’t supposed to come today. it won’t be her first surprise visit, though. she misses her granddaughter far too much for that.

in a hurry you open the door, without even thinking about it twice. without even bothering to unstrap your daughter from your chest.

matty’s familiar face comes into view and for the second time in three months, the world comes to a standstill.

lemme know what you think <33

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[luckyarchivist]

Don’t be afraid, give us more of your Ais/Ocudeus thought crumbs

You mean, like...the spicy thought crumbs? Well, if you insist...

Ais/Ocudeus Sexytoxic HCs

Have been doing some research on The Tumblr and have seen people imply that Ocudeus can actually have full control of Ais's body? Which I guess I should've realized, but now that I have... Oh, the implications.

How many times has Ocudeus hijacked Ais's body when he was in bed with someone else, the odd pupils of his eyes hidden by the darkness?

It definitely taunts Ais, when he has sex with other people. Ocudeus is the awful, intrusive voice in his head that tells him that the person on top of him is totally unaware, lost in pleasure — it would be so easy, and so good, to kill them in this moment.

I think Ais knows from experience how dangerous and cruel Ocudeus can be. He himself has been hurt by it, physically and emotionally — has had those tentacles around his wrists, around his neck. But he's learned to live with its rules, and to play nice with his bodymate.

But when it takes him over and squeezes hips hard enough to bruise, bites until the person underneath its mouth cries out, Ais remembers why he can't get truly close to anyone, especially anyone without their own defenses.

Ocudeus wonders: Would Ais prefer that it just subsume his partners into the groupmind? It's not above dragging people in just to placate its host.

(Ocudeus knows Ais's preference is for conflict with his friends and lovers, but clearly that's an inferior way to live. It just has to convince him that total subservience is best through example! Besides, if Ocudeus rules all minds, there will be no one around to distract, to stop it from consuming every facet of Ais's body and mind, and every corner of his life.)

When they're alone, Ocudeus will take control of Ais's body just to run his hands across it, enjoying the feel of its host's skin under its stolen palms. In Ais's head, Ocudeus is more cut-off from the world, but when it inhabits his body, every sensation is clear and present.

It knows where Ais is most sensitive (because of course it does, knowing this information about its host is absolutely vital) and spends its time leisurely working him up with his own hands, indulgently pleased at the way that Ais fights for control of his own body from within his mind. And right when Ais's body is at its limit, Ocudeus retreats and leaves its host wanting.

Has Ais ever been desperate enough to finish what Ocudeus started, or worse, ask Ocudeus for help? I don't think so, but Ocudeus is very patient. It can wait. It's waited this long.

Of course, sometimes Ocudeus wants its contact with its host to be more...tangible. At night, its tentacles crawl across his skin. It wants to explore him, to please him, maybe to win him over, even as it demands his mental and physical submission.

I do think the tattoo is like a brand — less Ocudeus's actual body, and more a symbol of its presence in Ais's. The black ink squirms and wriggles across Ais's shoulder as Ocudeus's large tentacles caress Ais's skin, creeping under clothing, lavishing something like love onto each centimeter of skin when its host is most vulnerable.

Ocudeus is a terrifying, awe-inspiring being, one that could rend unending torment on any person it chose. It is cruel, and jealous. It demands, and deserves, complete obedience. But its host deserves to be worshipped, too. When he's being cooperative.

[pocketseizure]

Listen

A small fairy comforts a wounded soldier in the Lost Woods.

( 630 words . also on AO3 )

Listen, you have to understand that this isn’t something I volunteered for. I was perfectly happy on my own. Every Kokiri has a fairy, sure, but most of us fairies don’t care much for the Kokiri. It’s nothing personal, you understand. We just have other places we like to be. Admiring our reflections in the water, for instance.

But when the Deku Tree calls, that’s another story. And for him to call me by name! That was something special. All of that nonsense about wars and evil wizards and destiny went through my wings like a spring breeze. I could see right away that you weren’t one of the Kokiri, and I assumed my job was to get you out of the forest. But then that owl showed up, and, well…

I guess one thing led to another, didn’t it? I was curious about the castle. I’ll admit, I wanted to see it for myself. So I kept following you. And you didn’t seem to mind. Now, after everything that’s happened, I feel bad about being so strict. I did my best to keep you on the path, but maybe I should have let you spend more time wandering around, while you still had a chance.

But we got to the castle eventually, didn’t we? The fountains were just as beautiful as I’d heard, and we had fun in the gardens. I enjoyed playing hide-and-seek with the soldiers. You remember that, don’t you? And now you’re a soldier yourself. I like your armor. It suits you.

I’m glad you came back. I know you went looking for me, but, well. It’s hard for us fairies to stay for so long in human sight. We prefer bushes, you know. Tall grass, if we can find it. It took most of my magic to stay in the sunlight back then. I always wanted to heal you when you got hurt. We fairies can do that, after all, but I needed to save my energy. Once it’s gone… I’m sure you understand.

Listen, I don’t regret anything. I had a great time traveling with you. Flying by your side as you rode through the field, lighting the way while you explored the old temples. And the thrill of battle! I’ll never forget that. I’ll never forget any of the time I spent with you. I can see why you wanted to leave Hyrule, but I hope you had as much fun as I did.

For there to be another war now… Well, I suppose this is the first war, at least for most people. No one remembers what the kingdom was like in the future. That’s why we fought, wasn’t it? So that no one would ever have to remember what happened. But I remember. You remember too. I guess that��s why you came back. And now you’ve saved Hyrule again, haven’t you… I always knew you would. I always believed in you.

I waited for you, you know. I waited in the forest, hoping that you might one day return. And I know what you’re trying to do, here in the Lost Woods. I won’t try to stop it from happening. You have your duty, after all. And I’m not sure I could stop the forest magic from running its course even if I wanted to. Look at me, I can’t even heal you. The least I can do is keep you company.

Listen, I loved you. It’s silly, isn’t it. Maybe if things had been different… Well, maybe, if things were different, we never would’ve met at all. But I’m glad we did. And I’m happy you found me again. So it’s okay. Just rest. You can sleep now. 

Don’t worry. I’ll be here with you. I’ll always be here, right at your side.

[ma1dita]

'en route' - i. imaginary friend

pictures are not mine, 3rd is a photo concept by @geloyconcepcion on ig

read along here (will update) : part ii, part iii, part iv

song of the chapter: revolution 0 by boygenius

en route playlist: here

words: 3.9k

summary: pt ¼ of ‘en route’. You and James are kindred spirits. Fighting in the First Wizarding War just seems to be your only escape.

warnings: no use of y/n, religious iconography sprinkled here and there, depictions of loss/war, angst, unhappy(?) marriage, fake marriage, twin flames vibe, they’re just kids they should be at the club bro

a/n: setting the scene is always so hard LOL. i love writing morally grey characters, please feel free to comment if you want to be added onto the taglist, or scream at me <3 thanks for the patience, you won’t have to wait as long for the next part lol

(posted 12/28/23, might come back to edit)

—

END OF MARCH 1980

There’s not a lot of things you like to remember about the year 1980. The memories blur together, highly repressed in a busy corner of your mind, and if someone held you at wandpoint to ask about what happened, you’re not sure where to begin. You don’t talk about it much anymore, but if you did, it wouldn’t be sufficient to put it in a few simple words.

And maybe if you did, the remembering wouldn’t hurt as much. With little physical things to hang onto, however—holding onto this hurt reminds you it was real.

From what you can remember anyway, it all started on his birthday.

You felt eyes on you as soon as you stormed into the room. In this congregation of people trying to save the world, it was easy to feel unseen in your struggles to keep moving forward. A pair of kaleidoscope eyes meet yours for a small moment, and that’s when you knew it was risky. It’s easy to hide in a crowd of Aurors enjoying the reprieve from the reality of the world outside of headquarters’ protected doors, fading into the background.

But he saw you, and that was terrifying–to be perceived.

Frank Longbottom pours you a pint, and you nod your head in thanks, taking a long sip before settling down into a chair at the bar. The same pair of eyes see through you, past your hunched frame, down to the core of your grief. Something about it resonates with him deeply, and the boys notice his attention is away from the conversation they’re having in the living room.

“She's pretty, yeah? French, I think. Never says more than a few words to anyone though, I tried. All business,” Sirius mumbles to his best friend over a glass of firewhiskey.

James looks up at Sirius from his position in the armchair, his head tilted to one side in curiosity at the way you fold into yourself.

"Yeah, I guess," James replies reluctantly. "I've never properly spoken to her, but I can tell she's very... mellow."

“Heard she lost people. The war hasn't been kind to her like it has to a lot of us. Don't know if she'll budge, Prongs. Some pages are best left unturned,” Remus says, shuffling a deck of cards between his scarred fingers. Sirius grunts in response, not caring for the conversation as he takes another sip of his drink.

James knows now what he recognizes within you. Grief has been looming over him too, latched onto his spine, weighing him down as the responsibilities grow by the day. His eyes flicker to his wife’s baby bump as she stands near the window laughing at something Marlene and Peter were acting out. Lily falling pregnant was his sign to get his shit together, because if he didn’t, who would?

Like a shadow, you shy away from the light and laughter that fills the room. But there was no escape once he started walking in your direction. There was no grandiose introduction, no heart-stopping, earth-shattering moment. Both consumed by grief unseen by most, two people sat at the bar in silent reverence of each other’s breathing, daring the other to say something.

“Didn’t know I was crashing your birthday Potter. Seems I don't have a gift,” you say suddenly, words rushing out as your eyes trace his profile.

A beat passes.

His head bobs up and for a second you think you’ve said the wrong thing until you realize he’s smiling. He looks up grinning like the devil, eyes meeting yours with a smile you could only describe as radiant. It stirs something deep within you, and you watch your hands reach toward your butterbeer to avoid his searing gaze.

“Terrible time to have a party anyway. I think it’s more for them than it is for me.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” you scoff lightly, and his head jerks towards you as you continue, “You’re a bit too happy for my liking.”

“Oh?” His body turns to follow, knees bumping against yours under the bartop.

“How come you know so much about me then? You don’t give any of us a chance with you.”

James says this jokingly, but a part of it rings true like a punch in the gut. You were so impressionable, left soft and malleable by the grief that became you that you found it quite infuriating that someone like him could be so happy in the middle of a war like this one.

A noise of acknowledgement leaves your throat and he watches your fingers clench around the glass. Too much? Change the subject.

“What’s the ‘T’ necklace you have on?”

The chain swings against your chest as you adjust yourself on the barstool, becoming aware of the weight of it.

“What?”

“What does it mean? Must be important to you, whoever this fellow is. See you wear it every day,” he says adamantly, before backtracking and realizing how stalkerish that sounds.

“Potter, have you never met a Christian?” Your eyes dart between him and his hands on the bartop, more glaringly, the platinum wedding band on his left hand. Surely, anything should be more interesting than conversing with a stranger at his own party.

“A who? Who’s Christian? Are you?”

The beginning of a smile breaks onto your face like daybreak. It’s refreshing, he thinks. He doesn’t think he’s made someone smile like that in a while.

“You idi–,” you exhale, “It’s not… Muggles don’t have magic like us, so they have belief systems. Higher power they believe in. Weren’t you Head Boy at Hogwarts, how did you pass Muggle Studies?”

“Elective. Do you believe in that stuff? God and what not?”

Your calf brushes his pant leg accidentally. Why can’t you stop fidgeting? He makes you nervous, all these questions, and then you blurt your response out in rapid succession that he’s almost unable to catch it.

“No. Maybe. My parents did, and God was important to them, so I wear this necklace because of it. They’re important to me. I used to before I found out I was a witch. Used to pray that God would save me, make me something other than mundane—well, here I am now. Not quite sure if he heard me.”

It hits you that the last time you’ve been able to speak about your parents like this was at their funeral two months back. Right before you joined the Order, and sitting here in front of James suddenly feels stifling. You roll your jacket sleeves up, hyperaware that he’s watching your every move.

He keeps his tone light, but the smile on his face is kind as he mutters, “You think some bloke up top is calling all the shots for everyone?” James says this without judgment and your breath quivers.

“I don’t know, but I think things happen for a reason. I’m still trying to find out what that exactly is.”

His pinky nudges yours on the sticky bartop, and his glasses slide down the bridge of his nose as he tilts his head in thought.

“Did. Is the believing past tense?”

You’re not sure what’s changed in the past few minutes that’s made you comfortable in his presence, but you crack a joke before you think too hard.

“My parents are. Past tense.”

Laughter spills out of you like the bubbles on your refilled pint glass, and James scrunches his face, holding back until his shoulders are shaking from the effort.

“Merlin….yeah. Mine too.”

Oh.

You look at him through your eyelashes, silence filling the space between you two as the rest of the party goes on in the background. James clinks his glass with yours, and there’s a silent understanding that bridges between you, connecting you together.

—

END OF APRIL 1980

“You know if we’re gonna be friends, you should probably call me James.”

The two of you were left sitting in the den to deliberate on the mission you were being sent at the end of this week. Three whole months with James Potter could be a nightmare. But it could also be quite fun, you think, watching him flick through the mission files with a quirk in his lip that can only signal mischief. Signing away your life wouldn’t be so bad if you had him to keep you company. You’d never tell him that though.

“Will we be? You don’t seem that excited.”

“Excited to be shipped away from everyone we know is definitely a statement, love.”

“I’m not eager if that’s what you’re insinuating. Just feel obligated, especially if it helps the cause. That’s why you’re here, right?” Right. In a war like this one, ordinary people like you and him pay the highest price. But nothing seemed ordinary about you, like a complex puzzle he was constantly wracking his brain to figure out. There are aspects of your personality that come to light the more he talks to you over these past few weeks, almost luring him in so he can unveil the secrets you hold. Why do you put yourself on the front lines like this, mission after mission? Who do you have in your life that makes you want to fight against the odds? What do you think of to keep you going? Why can’t he stop thinking about you?

He blinks, before looking at you, “S’not that I don’t want to go with you, and do my duty, I just…”

“You love it. I can see it in your eyes, you were trouble at school, weren’t you?” James’ smile gets wider, thinking back to the last few years, before everything went to shit. Back when it was easier, just him and his three friends, and his biggest worry was getting Lily Evans to look at him.

“Just a lot to worry about. People to take care of.” His mind falls back to his wife sitting at home, probably wondering why he isn’t back from the Order meeting, getting more agitated by the minute. He thinks of the nursery he still needs to set up, and the legal affairs he’s left behind after his parents’ death. He thinks of checking in on his boys, who barely know how to take care of themselves if they don’t come over for dinner, and finally, he exhales.

“You?“

It’s an honest question, and by asking it, he extends himself to you, an insight into the burdens he carries with him daily. The difficulty and complexity of having a large capacity to love is carrying the weight until you cannot.

“Just me and my rucksack. Gives me something to do.” You give him a tight-lipped smile, busying yourself with packing the supplies Dumbledore gave you two earlier. Vials of Polyjuice Potion, two golden wedding bands, magically enhanced IDs— it was like playing pretend. That’s all this has to be. Easy enough.

James looks at you and understands a bit more. You need this job. And if he’s being honest, so does he.

“I still wonder what would happen if it doesn’t work out, don’t get me wrong. But then I think, what if it does? What if no one else has to die?” A noise of agreement rises from his throat as he straightens his posture on the couch.

War shouldn’t be an escape, much less a distraction to two people grieving. There are countless muggles and wizards alike losing their lives to a genocide of people undeserving of a fate dictated by a person who plays god. But when you’re fighting for your life before you can even legally drink in some countries, there are two things left to consider when making a decision: to choose something difficult or to choose wrong.

And neither of you have ever found anything easy. Not in this life at least.

He sighs. James really needs to get home.

“Well…We will be friends by the end of this. I’m sure. Already gonna be married to you anyways,” he jokes.

“Don’t get used to it, what a pity that would be for your ego,” you gripe, but a trace of amusement is present on your lips as you watch him stand up to leave.

“We’ll see about that, love.”

He apparates home. Onto the next difficult thing.

When James told Lily that he’d be on a mission for the latter half of her pregnancy, she didn’t take it well. But to be honest, with everything going on, James couldn’t help but feel exasperated. How bad is his marriage that he’d rather risk his life instead of tending to his family’s needs? James sits at the dining table listening to her yell, and he feels extra heavy today, wondering how he feels so ancient at 20 years old.

Years ago he dreamed of this, a wife, kids, a pretty townhouse. But this isn’t what he quite imagined. He looks at his wife as she paces around the room, hand on her bump, red hair spreading little fires as she goes. She’s his everything. Truly. He spent years trying to even find that spark in her, dedicated his life to her, and gave up everything to take care of her—but she struggled a lot these past few months. Her pregnancy brought on incendiary words falling upon him like lashes as she blamed him for moving too quickly. Blamed him for the fact they’ve felt like strangers in this little house. But with his parents both sick, getting married seemed like the next right thing.

An owl flits to his kitchen window once Lily storms out again, leaving nothing but ashes of her disappointment in her wake. Ashes, ashes… James wonders where his spark has gone. He hates to disappoint.

Just wanted to owl and check in. I found myself thinking about you and wanted to make sure you’re okay, with everything changing so quickly. Hope you and your wife figure it out, I’ll be on the 11 AM Knight Bus tomorrow outside Diagon Alley regardless. See you.

He thinks of you, so brave and filled with a spark he used to recognize within himself. This isn’t wrong, he reasons, just difficult. But he won’t admit that taking his wedding band off before settling onto the couch was easier than he thought it would be. He feels lighter. As he takes off his glasses and stares at the ceiling of his living room that night, James wonders how much longer he can ignore his problems by not looking at them properly. How much longer does he have to carry the weight? When will someone help him carry the load?

For now, he tries to sleep. One step at a time, James. Like always. There’s a mission he has to start tomorrow. And he doesn’t want to disappoint you.

—

You’re not surprised when he turns up to your meeting point the next morning, not addressing him when you stick your wand hand out to summon the bus. He bites back a smile, knowing you were right and thinking you see right through him. Now look who’s the eager one.

After paying eleven sickles each, you lead him to a window seat, ignoring the babbles of other passengers as you look out the window.

“You ever think about all these people, with their little lives and everything they have to do?” you pipe up, head against the glass. James scoffs, “I always think about other people. Sometimes I wonder if anyone thinks of me like that. If anyone worries as you do over strangers.”

“I thought we were friends,” you say coyly, still not looking at him, and his heart skips a beat. Probably nerves. “You think Dumbledore cares that he’s sending off two teenagers to fight a war and save the wizarding world?”

“I’m an adult, thank you very much.”

“We’re kids, James,” You look at him, and he blinks at the sound of his given name falling from your lips that he almost loses the next part of your sentence, “we’re kids working towards a bigger picture of world peace. Isn’t that fucking insane that this what our lives amount to?”

He couldn’t agree more, but his forehead creases at your tone.

“Why do you act like your best years are behind you? There’s a lot to live for still,” he murmurs knowingly.

He pats your thigh and the only thing you notice is the tan of his hand against his missing wedding band. Soon it will be replaced by one that binds him to you, temporarily, but it’s jarring all the same. You shake off the uneasy feeling that rises in your stomach.

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

James is doing that thing again, the whole savior complex bit that you notice is one and the same with his trying hard to be carefree personality. But you’re coming to learn that James cares. A lot.

—

“Apartment 11B?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Two swigs of Polyjuice Potion did the job once you stepped off the bus and walked through town to the place you’ll inhabit for a fourth of the year, and quickly, you both become unrecognizable to even each other. A blonde eyebrow looks at you under James’ glasses at your hesitation, so you clear your throat.

“For Mr. and Mrs. Fawley. We just got married, you see. Newlywed jitters.” His voice is lighter and more posh as his hand reaches out to rest on your shoulder.

“Hmm, yes. Harry—er…Henrietta and Draco–” the receptionist squints at her paper, and you sigh at how pretentious the names sound together. Not in this life. You ought to wring Alice’s neck. That girl loves to make stories, and the more frilly your personas she created, the more difficult it’ll be to upkeep.

“No need, Etta and Drake are fine, love,” you say with a more confident grin, leaning against your faux husband.

The keys slide across the countertop, and you walk to the elevator, hand in hand until you’re out of sight. As you approach the door, James crouches a bit and puts his hands on his knees.

“What are you doing?”

“Jump up. Gotta carry you over the threshold.”

“Shut up, Drake,” reminding yourself to use his false name in case someone’s watching, but he looks at you with a shit-eating grin.

“Exactly. Just in case. Come on, just indulge me.” You shake your head in disbelief but hop onto his back all the same. Not exactly traditional, but it stirs up a feeling in you that you haven’t felt before. He carries you through the doorway and spins you once, twice, three times before you squeal and he giggles, placing you gently onto the sofa. It’s a cozy apartment with enough space for the two of you, cream walls, and a small kitchen with an island overlooking the entertaining space. The hallway leads to what you presume is the only bedroom, and there’s a nervous energy that sifts through the air as you both place protective charms everywhere, to ward off prying eyes and ears. How intimate. James falls back onto the sofa with a huff, sitting next to you, and both of you are unsure of what to say.

“I can take the sofa,” he says into the silence, and you turn to look at him incredulously.

‘For three months? James, I can't ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

“You’re gonna be hunched over by the end of the week. What if we rotate?”

There’s no disagreement, feeling the springs in the cushion beneath your bottoms already. James perks up, leaning over to grab something from his bag, and by the time he leans back up, he looks like himself again, the small dose of Polyjuice wearing off. You can feel your hair go back to its original shade and texture, and he smiles wider when he sees your face.

“Look what I got. Remus gave it to me back at Hogwarts but I never really used up all the film. Thought we could take some pictures and look back on this one day.” It’s sweet, how he loves his friends like they’re an extension of himself. You reckon you don't have anyone like that, smiling at him fumbling with the tiny camera in his hands.

“It’ll take a while to develop. Gotta keep it safe if we’re making it out of this,” you say, taking it from him and throwing yourself back onto the backrest leaning against him to point and shoot one of yourselves in this moment, disheveled and domestic. The flash goes off and he looks like a deer in headlights, making you cackle.

“You miss them?” He’s not sure who you’re referring to, so he rattles on anyway. He loves talking about the people he loves.

“The boys…Just miss being kids at Hogwarts, y’know? The end of the world back then was not getting enough O’s on NEWTs. You?”

“Mhm. None of them are in Britain though. They came for my parents’ funeral, and they always say they’ll visit but…That’s my fault too, I guess.” You tuck your leg underneath you, turning to face him, and he’s cuddled up against a throw pillow.

“Your parents were awesome. Didn’t know them well besides your dad being in the Order and stuff, but they were really brave. Your mom hugged me at my parents’ burial and I think that was the first time I let myself cry after they died. That’s one of the few things I remember from that day.”

A breath of air escapes your lungs at his anecdote. It’s been a few months since they passed but you’ll never stop missing them.

“I don’t remember a lot from theirs either. It’s all kind of been a blur since. I think I remember you and Sirius smoking in the back and him offering me a cigarette.” He laughs silently at the memory of his best friend.

“No one ever talks about how much there is to do after your parents die,” he says, and you roar with agreement.

“Yes! I’m still battling out their assets in court! It’s difficult to live life alone, thinking they’ve set you up for the future, but feeling like a rug’s been pulled out from underneath you. I just wish…They left this world together, y’know? And that’s great, but sometimes I feel selfish wondering what will happen to me.”

James nods slowly, taking your words in. He’s never had anyone to talk about this with, people pitying him instead, or acting like it didn’t matter, but it’s been almost a year and he can’t go to bed without thinking about how his parents died a week apart because even in death, they couldn’t be away for long. James wonders if you’ve noticed that he hasn’t talked about missing his wife, and the selfishness you mentioned prods at him. He smiles grimly, and takes the ring box from your bag, asking for your hand.

“Hey. You’re never gonna be alone again, alright? Not if it’s up to me.”

You roll your eyes as he flips the cover open, revealing the two gold bands, yours with a sizable diamond in the center.

“Do you think I’d give you that much power over me, James? This is all fake.”

“Fake marriage, but a true promise. I think you might, eventually.”

He slides the ring onto your left ring finger, sealing it with a gentle kiss on the back of your hand.

—

“The first time you caught my eye it was not love at first sight. Instead, a quiet curiosity was planted in my chest and I knew it was only a matter of time before you sunk beneath my bones and nurtured this deep-seated familiarity into a love so fierce that I would question if I had ever been in love before.” - Lyra Wren

general taglist: @jsjcue

en route taglist: @xcinnamonmalfoyx @babyclea @idkman5335 @timhalamet @ttulipwritezz @lilylovesu @thatonedogwithablog @lovemerigt