#i haven’t been diagnosed but it’s been confirmed

[chaoticautie]

Me: My autism has been confirmed by more than one medical professional, it was written on paper but it’s outdated now (Asp*rger’s), I had an IEP, my RAADs score was 187, and almost all of my friends and even some of my family members have suspected it before or have otherwise affirmed it

Some random person who doesn’t even know me: You’re not autistic

Me: Yeah I guess you’re right

[yuyinesque]

WOMANEATER | “𝗒-𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗌𝖾 𝗁-𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗁𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝗆𝖾𝗋𝖼𝗒…”

⚘ précis. ≡ you're a therapist in a psyche ward, and your new patient isn't one you're particularly experienced with.

⚘ disclaimers. ≡ yandere!incel & psyche ward!therapist y/n, afab!reader (no fem-aligned prns used), physical violence, compulsive masturbation, hypersexuality, misogyny & women-blaming, usage of “bitch”, mentions of post-traumatic stress disorder (ptsd); obsessive behavior; delusion (secondary erotomania); age regressing; & urine, manipulation (guilt-tripping & gaslighting), mentions of suicide & self harm, implied rape fantasies & perversion.

⚘ category. ≡ nsft headcanons.

⚘ wc. ≡ 781.

𖦥 m.list. oc.list

🧷 yandere!incel who is a scrub-wearing individual who wears stoic expressions like they’re permanent masks, though at times the said mask tends to falter vastly when he’s around any woman; even fem-presenting figures drives him an inch deeper towards insanity. he’s picked numerous fights with women and only women, even when they’ve done nothing but walked past him. the fights were always prompted by truculence and defense, as for he would disclose evident signs that he was terrified of said woman, completely convinced that they were after him in some sort of ill manner, so he strikes before they even get the chance to blink. because of this, he’s been isolated away from female figures, and only male characters were capable of catering to him, as he was indifferent towards them. well, every male but you, a female.

🧷 yandere!incel who is quite the handful for inexperienced, psyche ward!therapist darling, as for they haven’t dealt with a patient with such a high caliber of disorders; their worst case so far was a suicidal woman who was diagnosed with type one bipolar. one session with the individual was enough to question your overall abilities. i mean, he despised you. at least that’s what you believed.

🧷 yandere!incel who is tired of you cheating on him with other patients! this is why he’s so angry towards you specifically, but he won’t say. however, he’s also completely infatuated with you; have i also mentioned completely horrified with you? you’ve noticed each time you would change your tone slightly, he would convert into a fretful mouse, apologizing incessantly as tears glossed his dark, beady eyes, also slipping up by referring to you as “mother” in a small, infantile voice. you concluded it was because you reminded him of such, and she was primarily the reason why he feared and hated women so much. motherly abuse.

🧷 yandere!incel who would have his calmer days since he was genuinely interested in his spouse. he’s never had a woman so madly in love with him, so it not only fed his ego, but causes his dick to swell with cum each time you evinced signs that confirmed you were oso desperate for his attention. with the way you sit up when you walk in, reassure him that everything will be fine, or even going out of your way to smile in such a lecherous manner. it angered him, especially when he begins groping his hardened crotch in front of you and complaining about you and your whorish antics. you would ignore him in response or threaten to cut the meeting short, which prompts a loud, slur-screaming, victim-blaming outburst in response.

🧷 “you’re such a bitch, you hear me?! a bitch! and a bitch li-like you shouldn’t even be alive! luring me, t-teasing me—all women are just a bunch of fffffucking sluts!!”

🧷 yandere!incel who also showed signs of hypersexuality and exhibitionism. he was a chronic masturbator, pleasuring himself to the most horrific things with your face in mind. just the thought of keeping you in your place by forcing you to perform taboo acts on the receptionist desk as everyone watched rotted his mind.

🧷 yandere!incel who would try to convince you that he doesn’t hate you only to voice his hatred towards you the next week. then he’d not only do that, but then claim that he’s never done such with tears in his eyes, finding your scoldings utterly unnecessary and so mean. there was even a time where you lost your patience and raised your voice at him, immediately causing him to not only an apologetic rant, but to begin pissing himself in the chair he was trembling and sobbing on, the strong scent of ammonia filling the room during the process.

🧷 yandere!incel who needed your touch or he’ll perform said disgraceful acts. there was a day where he pleaded for just a hug from you if he was good the whole week. once you confirmed it, he did just that. no fights, no arguments, nothing. he even apologized for freezing up and screaming at the poor, feminine soul that walked near him. you knew it was against the rules to be this affectionate towards patients, but you couldn’t break a promise. and so, you did—hugged him. awkwardly, even. he was rather short, so his face was buried within your chest, and the boner pressed against your thigh only made you feel nauseous, but not as nauseous as his next, ominous set of words.

🧷 “y-you better hope these h-hands hold mercy on your.. body once i luh-latch them onto you…”

yuyinesque | translate with permission & peruse without theft

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

@ that guy who tried to argue that "most people are vaccinated" the other day.

By Courtney Friedman

Local infectious disease doctor said this continued trend is putting people, healthcare system at risk

Most Americans haven’t been vaccinated this year, and health experts are worried about outbreaks of COVID, flu and RSV.

“We’re seeing lower numbers of people going out to get their vaccines for COVID, for influenza. And over the last couple of years, we’ve seen that,” said Dr. Jason Bowling, infectious disease specialist with University Health System and UT Health San Antonio.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that only about 37% of adults have received a flu shot, while just 19% have received the updated COVID vaccine.

It’s even lower for children at 33% for flu and just under 9% for COVID.

These numbers climbed around 2% higher than last year.

Bowling said part of that is likely due to vaccine fatigue from the pandemic, but not all of it.

“I think we’re getting a little too comfortable with COVID and flu, but we’re still seeing people get very ill with both of these and RSV,” Bowling said.

RSV cases have already spiked this year, hitting the vulnerable hardest.

“We now have vaccines available for RSV for people that are at highest risk. So people that are 75 and older, adults (who) are 60 and older and have medical conditions, and then, also, it’s protection for infants,” Bowling said.

He said the rates are low for that vaccine, too, and have been since it was released last year. Part of that, he believes, is awareness.

“It is a new vaccine. So we want people to be aware that this vaccine is available,” he said.

As for the flu, cases are picking up by the week.

“Ninety-two cases just last week of flu, and that’s up from 57 cases the week before. So it was a 65% increase just week to week. And that’s just confirmed PCR tests. So there are way more out there,” Bowling said.

While COVID numbers are currently low, Bowling said they’re expected to spike again soon.

“At the end of this year or early next year. And there’s data now that shows that people (who) are vaccinated have lower risk of long COVID, have less severe symptoms,” he said.

Misinformation and doubts over the COVID vaccine have hampered those numbers, bringing experts to emphasize that it’s trustworthy and helps cut down on long COVID diagnoses.

“COVID vaccines have been studied more than any other vaccine in history. We really have a lot of safety records, and they’re continuing to monitor for side effects, too. So it’s not as though they did the monitoring and they stopped,” Bowling said.

Healthcare workers also are trying to remind people that the perspective is wider than just each individual.

“For some people, it might be a mild illness that lasts for a few days, but for other people, they could end up in the ER, or worst, case admitted to the hospital,” Bowling said.

Even in mid-December, it’s not too late to get your vaccines.

“This is a perfect time to get it because a lot of people are going to be traveling in the next couple of weeks. So if you get that vaccine now, it gives your body a couple of weeks to generate antibodies, provide that protection, and keep you having fun with your family and friends, (but) maybe not in urgent care or the hospital,” Bowling said.

San Antonio school districts even see this trend of lower vaccine rates by way of the exemption form parents fill out and get approved by the state of Texas if they want to waive their child’s vaccinations.

Two of the largest local school districts replied to KSAT’s request about the subject on Monday, confirming that trend.

North East ISD:

“We have seen a little steady increase in the number of incoming kinder with conscientious exemptions. In 2017-2018, there were 37 students with exemptions to all vaccines. There were 78 kinder students last year and 90 this year,” the district said.

The district said they see exemptions less in other grades because parents have generally already made those decisions about vaccines by then.

The percentages break down to:

2017-2018: 0.9% of kids had vaccine exemptions. 2023-2024: 2.4% of kids had exemptions. 2024-2025: 2.7% of kids had exemptions. That means vaccine exemptions are up 0.3% from last year.

San Antonio ISD:

The district said they are “seeing numbers of parents opting out of vaccinations trending slightly upward.”

Vaccine exemptions by school year:

2024-2025: 368 students. 2023-2024: 301 students. 2022-2023: 297 students. 2021-2022: 219 students. 2020-2021: 164 students. 2019-2020: 197 students.

[alilixx]

Heyy could u write a greg house x reader

Shes a doctor or prob a surgeon and its like season 1 ep 13 , she gets sick and needs a heart transplant or something like that but she doesn’t want to then house convinces her coz he likes her and house lies for her so she can get the transplant and they used to flirt before and all but after that they confess about liking each other and start dating ☺️ thanks

IM SOO SORRYYY SCHOOL STARTED AGAINNN SOO LESS TIME FOR WRITE FANFIC BUT I WILL TRY WRITE FOR EVERY WEDNESDAY AND WEEKEND <33

Surgeon!FemReader x Gregory House

You had already noticed unusual signs for several weeks. At first, it was just fatigue. Nothing more. You convinced yourself it was due to your endless hours in the operating room, those sleepless nights that kept piling up. Just a bit of exhaustion, something every surgeon knows well. But the palpitations intensified, followed by slight dizziness, then that crushing sensation in your chest, as if your own heart was fighting against you. You eventually ran a series of tests, discreetly, hoping it was nothing.

But the results didn’t lie: severe dilated cardiomyopathy. Your heart, your most precious instrument, the one that allowed you to save lives day after day, was betraying you. But you refused to believe it.

Today, as you sat in House’s office, surrounded by his diagnostic team, you were desperately searching for a way out, an alternative explanation. Something that would prove this was all a mistake. After all, you were a doctor, you knew diagnoses were never infallible.

"I want your opinion," you finally said, crossing your arms as if to shield yourself from what was coming next. "I did my own tests, but I want to be sure. Maybe I'm too involved to see things clearly."

House looked up, intrigued by your direct tone. "Too involved? You mean, too much in denial."

Cameron stepped forward to review your results, her eyes scanning every detail. "The echocardiograms clearly show dilatation of the heart chambers. You already have a heart murmur, you’ve felt it, haven’t you?"

You frowned, hesitating to respond. Of course you had felt it. But admitting it would make everything more real.

"I want to believe it’s something else," you murmured, your voice betraying, for the first time, a hint of vulnerability. "I’m a surgeon. I can’t... afford to have a failing heart."

Foreman shook his head, pragmatic as always. "You can’t afford not to act either. If you let this get worse, you won’t even have the chance to enter the operating room next time."

You looked away, your throat tight. Fear was rising inside you, a fear you hadn’t felt in a long time. You had always been able to control everything, every incision, every move. But now, it was your own body slipping through your fingers.

House, as always, wasted no time twisting the knife.

"It’s fascinating. You’d rather believe that all this will resolve itself, as if your heart is just going to miraculously decide to heal. Spoiler alert: it won’t." He tilted his head, scrutinizing your face. "But I’m curious. Why consult my team if you’ve already done the tests yourself? Looking for validation or an excuse to do nothing?"

His sarcasm irritated you, but you knew he was right. "Because I want... I want to be sure."

"Sure of what? That you’re dying? Let me confirm it for you, you are. Now that’s settled, we can move on to the next step: you’re refusing the only solution that could save you because you’re afraid of losing control. Interesting, but not surprising."

"I’m not afraid," you retorted, more to convince yourself than to answer him.

House didn’t believe you for a second. He moved closer, leaning his cane against the edge of his desk.

"You’re lying to yourself." His gaze pierced through yours, as if he could see past all your defenses. "You’ve seen how many transplants fail. But you’ve also seen how many succeed. So why condemn yourself when you know you have a chance to make it?"

Silence fell over the room. His words struck you deeper than you wanted to admit. You had spent months running from this reality, pretending it was just a passing episode. But here you were, sitting in front of specialists who left you no escape. That’s when House chose to play his final card.

"I’m going to ask you a very simple question." He sat back behind his desk, tapping the file of his favorite patient: you. "Do you want to die just to stay loyal to your own arrogance? Or do you want to live long enough to annoy me even more?"

You felt a strange warmth rising to your cheeks. House hadn’t spoken those words with his usual cynicism. It was subtle, almost imperceptible, but you knew he genuinely cared about you. And that thought unsettled you more than anything else.

You lowered your eyes to your trembling hands. You were a surgeon, a strong person. Yet, for the first time in a long while, you felt vulnerable. And House had seen it from the very beginning.

The silence in House’s office was heavy after the intense discussion about your condition. The diagnosis was now certain: a heart transplant was your only chance. Yet, one question remained, one that had been haunting you. If you were really going to undergo this operation, there was only one person you trusted enough to put your life in their hands: House.

So, in a rare moment of vulnerability, you took a deep breath and asked the question you had been dreading from the start.

"I want it to be you. You’ll be my surgeon."

The team exchanged stunned glances. House, however, remained silent for a moment, his piercing blue eyes fixed on you. Then he let out a dry laugh.

"Me? No. Bad idea. Very bad idea."

You frowned, stung by his reaction. "Why? You’re one of the best doctors I know."

House straightened up, pressing his cane against the floor before fixing you with an unusually serious look. "I’m not a surgeon. I diagnose. I play with ideas, I take risks, but I don’t hold a scalpel over living patients. I don’t do surgeries."

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He was so confident, so skilled at solving impossible cases, and yet, here in front of you, he seemed hesitant. You stepped closer to him, determined to understand.

"Are you afraid of messing up?" you asked, your voice low but sharp.

House let out a sarcastic laugh, but you sensed a certain nervousness behind his tone. "No, I’m afraid of killing someone because of my damn leg and my trembling hands. If you want someone to do this surgery without screwing it up, ask a real surgeon."

His rejection hurt you deeply. You had opened up to him, and he was pushing you away without a moment’s hesitation. You felt anger rising within you, mixed with the pain of a feeling you didn’t want to name.

"I thought I could trust you," you whispered, your eyes burning with disappointment. "But I see I was wrong."

Before he could respond, you turned on your heels and left the office, leaving House and the team behind. The sound of your footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as you walked towards your own uncertain future. Your heart was pounding painfully, both physically and emotionally. He had rejected you when you had offered him your fragile trust.

A few days later, you found yourself in the pre-op room, your face calm, but your mind in turmoil with conflicting emotions. You had finally accepted the transplant, even though it terrified you. Another surgeon had been assigned for the operation, a competent colleague, but not House. His refusal still haunted you, the abrupt way he had pushed you away, as if your life meant nothing to him.

The medical team busied themselves around you, but all you could hear was a dull hum, lost in your thoughts. An anesthesiologist approached, and as you lay down on the operating table, a strange sense of calm washed over you.

Then, in the haze of preparation, something caught your attention. A voice, familiar, behind the masks and caps.

"Start the anesthesia. We’re going ahead with the transplant."

You weakly opened your eyes. It was House.

Your heart skipped a beat, as if, even before the surgery, he already knew how to unsettle you. You tried to move, to speak, but the anesthesia was already taking effect. Everything became blurry, but you heard his voice clearly, that deep, slightly rough voice that comforted you despite yourself.

"Sleep now, it'll be fine. You’ll be alive to yell at me later."

Then total darkness.

You woke up in a hospital room. The soft morning light filtered through the curtains, and you felt a dull ache in your chest. But more than that, you felt your heart beating. A new heart. A strange sensation, both comforting and unsettling.

You slowly turned your head, and to your surprise, you saw House sitting in the corner of the room, his gaze fixed on you. He looked exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept in days. His eyes locked on yours with a new intensity, almost worried.

"I knew you were stubborn, but you really outdid yourself this time," he said, without a hint of humor.

You looked at him, still too weak to speak. Then, slowly, you remembered what had happened before the surgery. He had refused. You had been hurt. But now, he was here.

"You... operated on me?" you finally murmured, your voice hoarse.

House gave a slight nod, avoiding your gaze for a moment. "Yeah. I didn’t really have a choice, apparently. Everyone’s incompetent except me." But there was something else in his voice, an unspoken admission.

You tried to sit up, but the pain in your chest made you wince. House immediately stood up and moved closer to you. "Take your time. Don’t be stupid."

You stared at him, still in shock from what you had just discovered. "Why? Why did you do it when you said you didn’t want to?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Because..." He paused, searching for the right words. That wasn’t like him. "Because I couldn’t let another surgeon kill you. If someone was going to save you or lose you, it had to be me."

He looked straight into your eyes, and this time, you saw the fear behind his usual cynicism. The fear of losing you, the fear of failing. It wasn’t just about the surgery, it was about feelings, the ones he didn’t want to admit, but which were so clear in that suspended moment.

"You were scared," you said softly, a slight smile on your lips. House looked away, grumbling. "I’m not afraid of anything. I’m just smarter than everyone else."

But you knew. You knew he had taken this risk because he cared about you, even if he would never say it outright. You placed your hand on his, a simple gesture, but one that spoke for you. And, against all odds, he didn’t pull his hand away.

The days following the surgery were filled with moments of uncertainty and relief. Each steady beat of your new heart was a promise that life would go on, a victory against fate. But something lingered, like a palpable tension between you and House. He came to see you almost every day, always with his usual sarcasm, but something had changed.

That morning, you woke up with the same familiar pain in your chest, but this time it was different — the pain of healing. You slowly sat up in your bed, observing the soft light filtering through the hospital curtains. Your body was still weak, but each day felt like a small victory. And despite the fatigue, you were more clear-headed than ever.

The door to your room opened gently, and of course, House walked in, leaning on his cane with that familiar limp you knew so well. He stared at you for a moment, as if assessing your condition, then casually remarked:

"How’s my favorite patient? Still alive, apparently."

You managed a smile, even though part of you still wondered why he could never be serious for more than a few seconds. "I’m doing well, Greg. And you know it."

He raised an eyebrow at the sound of his name. That wasn’t something you used often. Usually, you always called him "House," like everyone else.

He came closer and sat in the chair next to your bed, letting out a sigh. "Well, that’s good news. I would have hated to explain to the team that I messed up my best patient. That would be bad for my reputation."

You knew he used humor to mask something deeper. A silence settled in, almost comfortable, but filled with unspoken words.

"Why did you decide to operate on me?" you finally asked, breaking the silence. "I hurt you when I asked, but you did it anyway."

House looked away, as he often did when faced with a question that was too personal. He tapped his cane against the floor, searching for words or perhaps a way to sidestep the answer.

"It was a challenge. I couldn’t let another surgeon handle such a complex operation, especially on someone as annoying as you." He smiled, but his gaze betrayed something else, something more sincere. "And I guess I was a little afraid you’d slip away from me."

This confession took you by surprise. You knew House wasn’t the type to openly express his emotions, especially not with such direct words. You watched him in silence, your thoughts swirling. He had taken a huge risk by operating on you, not just medically, but emotionally.

"I’m not going to slip away from you, Greg," you murmured. "Not now."

His eyes settled on you, softer than usual. "Not now," he repeated, almost to himself.

Initially, it was supposed to be temporary. Just long enough for you to fully recover from the surgery, for your body to adjust to the new heart, and for you to be closely monitored, "just in case." House had insisted, almost casually, on this option.

"It would be stupid to leave you alone. If something goes wrong, I’d rather have you in my sight, not on the other side of town," he had said, as if the decision was purely pragmatic.

You had hesitated. Living at House's, even temporarily, seemed risky, given the complexity of your relationship. But somewhere, you felt that beneath his usual cynicism, he genuinely cared about you. So you had agreed, thinking it would last just a few days, maybe a week or two.

The first night at his place was strange. His apartment, which you had visited a few times before, felt more welcoming than you had imagined. A blend of old and modern, of perfectly organized chaos, typical of House. Medical books stacked everywhere, piano sheets scattered about, whiskey bottles casually left on the coffee table. You felt like an intruder in his space, but he made no effort to make you feel otherwise.

"Make yourself at home. I don’t have silk pillows or almond milk, but there’s unlimited Ibuprofen," he had said, settling onto his couch with a glass of whiskey.

That first night was calm. House kept an eye on you from the corner of his gaze, even though he pretended to be absorbed in an old documentary. Despite the strangeness of the situation, a certain serenity had settled in.

The next day, as you began to get used to this new arrangement, someone knocked at the door. You weren’t expecting visitors, especially not this early in the morning. House, already up (for once), went to open it, and you immediately recognized the familiar voice of James Wilson.

"Hey, House, I brought donuts. I wanted to talk to you about a case..." His voice cut off abruptly as he entered the living room and saw you sitting on the couch, a cup of tea in hand.

The silence that followed was almost comical. Wilson looked at you, then at House, then back at you, as if he had stumbled upon a scene he couldn’t quite comprehend.

"What the... ? What are you doing here?"

You gave a slight smile, a bit embarrassed, while House, completely unfazed, grabbed one of the boxes of donuts that Wilson had brought.

"She lives here. Well, temporarily," House replied before taking a bite out of a donut, as if the situation was perfectly normal.

Wilson stood there, speechless for several seconds. "You... you let her live with you? You?"

House shrugged. "It’s easier for post-operative monitoring. And besides, she’s not unbearable. Well, not all the time."

Wilson blinked, still in shock. He slowly sat down on a chair, setting down the other box of donuts. "That... that’s so unlike you, Greg."

"Well, maybe I’ve changed. Or maybe it’s just convenient." House made a dismissive gesture, but you could see that even for him, this situation was still new.

Wilson gave you a questioning look, searching for answers. You simply shrugged, an amused smile on your lips. "It’s temporary, really."

Wilson shook his head, clearly disturbed but also amused. "If you tell me he let you choose a movie last night, I think I’m going to faint."

You laughed lightly, and even House cracked a small smile, despite himself. The tension slowly faded, and Wilson relaxed, even though he continued to shoot you incredulous glances from time to time.

Days passed, and what was supposed to be a temporary arrangement stretched on longer than expected. There was no specific date for your departure, and House didn’t seem in a hurry to see you go. In fact, he even seemed to enjoy your presence, even if he categorically refused to admit it.

One evening, as you settled into the couch with a blanket over your knees, House sat down next to you without a word. He turned on the TV and flipped through channels until he found an old black-and-white movie. It had become a routine: you spent the evenings together, sometimes in silence, sometimes exchanging sarcastic comments about what you were watching.

It was in this tranquility that Wilson made his second appearance at House's place.

"I brought wine," he announced as he walked in, looking noticeably more comfortable with the situation this time.

You smiled, shifting a bit to make room for him. House raised an eyebrow. "Wine? Since when do you bring wine to my place?"

Wilson shrugged. "I thought we could celebrate... I don’t know, this strange normality?" He glanced at you as if to make sure everything was okay.

The evening went off without a hitch. The wine flowed, sarcasm flew, and Wilson, despite his more serious habits, allowed himself to be caught up in the relaxed atmosphere. The movies changed on the screen, but soon it was the discussions that took over.

"I have to say, I’m still surprised you let her stay," Wilson remarked, casting a glance at House.

House, lounging casually on the couch, responded without really looking at Wilson. "It’s not so bad. She doesn’t bother me too much. Unlike you."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "I bring you wine, I do my best not to invade your space, and this is how you thank me."

You laughed, shaking your head. "He doesn’t know how to do anything else, James. You know him."

"That’s true," Wilson replied with a smile. "But anyway, I’m glad you’re recovering well. He seems to be taking good care of you."

You turned to House, who was clearly avoiding your gaze. "He’s doing what he can," you said softly, but with a smile in your voice.

House pretended not to hear, focusing on the television. But in his silences, you could feel that he was getting used to this new life.

Days passed, and what was supposed to be a temporary living arrangement quietly settled into a routine. Little by little, you had begun to integrate into House's daily life, and he, without a word, had allowed you to do so.

One evening, after a long day at the hospital, you got home before him. House had sent you a terse message: "I’ll be late. Bistro operation in the kitchen." You smiled at his words, already imagining what that meant.

Tired but determined not to let it get you down, you began rummaging through House's kitchen cabinets. He had everything, but nothing was in its place. A controlled chaos that, surprisingly, made sense to you. You grabbed some vegetables and an old skillet, determined to prepare something before his return. The kitchen was a place where you could lose yourself in simple tasks, away from the complexities of your work as a surgeon.

A few dozen minutes later, as you were focused on a sauce you were preparing, the door opened. House entered, looking tired but intrigued by the aromas wafting from the kitchen.

"Are you pretending to be a chef now?" he said as he approached you.

You smiled without turning around, continuing to stir the sauce. "I thought it would be a change from pizza boxes and whiskey."

House leaned in slightly to smell what you were making, nodding his head in approval. "I suppose that works for me. But if it’s bad, you’ll hear me complain for days."

You chuckled softly, knowing very well he meant it half-seriously. He made no attempt to push you away from the kitchen; on the contrary, he grabbed a knife and started slicing the bread, his movements precise despite the cane that always lingered nearby.

The scene was almost domestic. House, with his usual sarcasm, and you, focused on your sauce. You didn’t talk much, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. There was a certain peace in these simple moments. You sensed that he was getting used to this new dynamic, even though he was still incapable of admitting it out loud.

"I have to admit," he finally said, slicing a piece of bread, "you’re not doing too badly for a surgeon. Maybe it’s time to change careers."

You gave him an amused look. "You say that now, but just wait until you taste it."

"Oh, I fully intend to critique every bite."

He was smiling slightly, but you could feel the bond growing a little stronger with each shared meal, each simple task completed together.

It had been a long time since you had left the operating room, but you didn’t miss your home at all, and House understood that... well, House is House.

A few weeks later, after several similar evenings, you had finally made official what was happening between you. It hadn’t been a grand romantic declaration, far from it. As with everything involving House, things had evolved naturally, in a sort of unspoken agreement that was becoming clearer and clearer. One evening, as you were both settled on the couch, he had placed his hand over yours, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Do you mind if we drop the ‘temporary’?" he asked, his eyes fixed on the television screen.

You felt your heart race, even though the question was posed in that casual tone that characterized him. You squeezed his hand slightly in response, your smile overshadowing the answer you didn’t even need to say. Indeed, it was his way of asking you to be his girlfriend.

The following Monday, things were different, but not enough to shake up the universe of Princeton-Plainsboro. You had decided to keep nothing hidden, but without making it a topic of conversation. After all, it was impossible to hide anything from House’s team.

Wilson, of course, was the first to react. When he saw you enter the hospital together that morning, he furrowed his brow, an expression somewhere between amusement and surprise.

"So, it’s official? You finally made it official?"

True to form, House simply rolled his eyes. "Officially? If it makes you happy to label it that way, then yes."

Wilson smiled, a little too pleased with himself. "I knew this would happen, but I have to say, it’s impressive that you held out this long before admitting it."

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly, amused by the dynamic between the two friends. "He has his moments of resistance," you added jokingly.

But the real test came when you arrived in the diagnostic room, where House’s team was already gathered. Chase, Cameron, and Foreman were discussing a new case, but they all looked up when you walked in together.

Chase was the first to react, his eternal smirk in place. "Oh, I see. That’s why we all stayed until midnight last week. You had ‘personal’ plans."

House stopped, crossing his arms with a piercing look. "You’re right, Chase. And if you keep talking, you’ll end up with the chore of sanding the autopsy room again. Unless, of course, you want to find yourself a social life."

Foreman cracked a playful smile while Cameron seemed half-surprised, half-envious. "So... you’re together?" she asked with a mix of shyness and curiosity.

You exchanged a glance with House. You hadn’t discussed how you were going to handle this with the rest of the team, but it seemed it was already out in the open.

"Yes," you replied simply, with confidence. "We’re together."

Without missing a beat, House added with a smirk, "But don’t worry. It’s not going to affect my desire to make your lives miserable."

You had gotten into the habit of cooking together from time to time, even though House continued to tease you about your culinary skills. You also spent many quiet evenings talking about everything and nothing or simply watching movies in silence.

One evening, as you were chopping vegetables in the kitchen, House approached you and set a glass of wine on the counter.

"Looks like we’ve become boring, huh?"

You laughed softly, setting down the knife. "If that’s what you call boring, I’m perfectly fine with that."

He looked at you, a smile softer than usual on his lips. "Well, as long as you’re okay with it, I guess I can get used to the boredom."

It was the first time he admitted, without sarcasm or dark humor, that he enjoyed this new life together. And you knew that behind his facade was a man deeply attached, even if he showed it in his own way.

[intersex-support]

Intersex Support FAQ

1. What is intersex?

Intersex is an umbrella term that describes people who have variations in sex characteristics that fall outside of the sex binary. This includes variations in genitals, internal reproductive organs like testes and ovaries, chromosomes, secondary sex characteristics, and/or the way that your body produces or responds to hormones. Some examples of intersex variations include AIS, CAH, PCOS, Klinefelters, hypospadias, and more. 

The three main factors that define intersex variations are: 

Variation in sex characteristics 

The variation falls outside of the sex binary and is different from what is considered typical “male” or “female” development. These variations in traits might often be stigmatized and discriminated against for being outside of the sex binary.

This variation is either present from birth or develops spontaneously later in life. It is not caused by transitioning or by something temporary like a medication side effect, tumor, or other medical diagnosis. 

(This definition is inspired by InterACT).

2. Does ____ count as intersex? 

There are around 40 different intersex variations that are currently known. InterACT”s intersex variation glossary lists out those intersex variations and gives a brief description of each one.

However, we know that isn’t a complete list. People have intersex variations that haven’t been medically researched yet, or might have a rare variation that the intersex community isn’t aware of yet. 

There are also some variations that might seem on the border between perisex and intersex. Some types of hormonal or reproductive diagnoses might not have a clear answer on whether they’re intersex or not. 

Ultimately,  intersex is a social/political identity rather than a strictly medical one. Increased research and changing social attitudes can cause the definition of intersex to expand over time. Regardless of whether someone has a confirmed intersex variation or an “intersex adjacent” diagnosis, if intersex resources are helpful to you, we hope that you continue to use them and act in solidarity with the intersex community. 

On this blog, we do include PCOS with hyperandrogenism as part of the intersex community. Check out our PCOS tag for more posts about our reasoning, and PCOS specific resources.

3. Am I intersex?

We cannot diagnose you with an intersex variation over the internet. We can share resources such as the intersex variations glossary, share tips for navigating the medical system, and share information on other non-clinical signs of being intersex. 

Some questions to ask yourself that can help you start the process of intersex discovery:

What do my sex traits (genitalia, secondary sex characteristics, hormone levels, etc) look like? Does this seem like it lines up with the “typical” descriptions of those sex traits? 

Do I have any information about my birth? Were there any complications? Did doctors do extra testing at birth? Did doctors take me away from my parents for long periods of time? Did it take me longer to have my sex assigned at birth?

What was puberty like for me? Did I have early or late puberty? Did I have to go on hormones to start puberty? Did I have any variations in puberty, such as unexpected breast growth, irregular periods, or other changes? Did I go through puberty at all?

If you’ve tried to have children, are you infertile or struggling with fertility?

Did I have any unexplained surgeries or medical procedures as a child? Was I ever told I had to have organs removed and was told it was because of a cancer risk? Did I have to be on specific medications or hormones throughout my childhood? Did I have to go see a doctor more frequently? Did I go to an endocrinologist or pediatric urologist as a child? 

Do I have surgery scars or scar tissue? Do I have more frequent UTIs than typical?

Do I have access to my medical records? Is there records of hormone panels, ultrasounds, physical exams, surgeries, or other medical procedures? 

This kind of information can help you start to piece together if you think you might have an intersex variation, or if you think your intersex variation was hidden from you. 

If you’re sending in an ask trying to figure out if your symptoms line up with a specific intersex variation, please share as much information as you’re comfortable with so that we can answer with the most helpful resources. 

4. Can I self diagnose as intersex? 

It’s complicated! Intersex is different from other LGBTQIA identities, in that it’s not only about self determination, but also about our embodied experience in a very specific way. In order to be intersex, you have to have an intersex variation. And there are many intersex variations that can only be confirmed through medical testing, so it’s not something that is easy to self-diagnose.

However, we recognize that the medical system is expensive, discriminatory, and often actively hides information about people’s intersex variations from them. (it wasn’t even until 2006 that the AAP stopped recommending that doctors lie to their patients about intersex status, so many intersex adults were born before that policy change!) Considering all that we know about intersex oppression, curative violence, and medical abuse, it feels incredibly cruel to tell people that they have to force themself through that system in order to seek answers. 

So, we understand that there are ways of finding out that you are intersex without having a specific, confirmed, medical diagnosis. Many of us might find out that we’re intersex because we realize that our genitalia visibly looks different, and we can tell that we are intersex, even if we don’t know our specific diagnosis. Others might find out that we’re intersex because of strange discrepancies in our medical record. We might find out through discovering surgery scars on our body. We might go through puberty and realize that we’re developing in an atypical way to our peers. We might do a lot of research into intersex variations and have a pretty good guess into what variation lines up with our experiences. We might have some test results that help us understand we have intersex traits, even if we don’t know our specific diagnosis.  

Before self diagnosing, we think it’s important to do thorough research into intersex variations, so that you truly understand what intersex means, what intersex variations exist, and understand how that information applies to yourself. It’s also important to be considerate of how we interact in community spaces, and respect other intersex people's boundaries as you engage in a questioning or diagnosis process. 

5.  Are intersex people trans?

Some intersex people are trans, and some aren’t. Most intersex people are still assigned a gender at birth, and many intersex people who are raised as one gender and then later identify as another gender identify with the label trans. Intersex people can be cis or trans just like any other group of people. 

Many intersex people have complicated relationships with gender, and don’t feel like labels like cis or trans really fit their experiences. For this reason, terms like intergender and ipsogender were coined.

6. Are intersex people LGBTQIA?

It’s complicated! The “I” in LGBTQIA stands for intersex. Intersex history is intertwined with other parts of queer history. For example, the very first protest for intersex people in the United States was organized by Hermaphrodites with Attitude and Transexual Menace. There are intersex inclusive versions of community pride flags. Many intersex people view their intersex identity as a queer identity. Intersex oppression overlaps in many ways with homophobia and transphobia. 

However, not all intersex people think that intersex should be included in the LGBTQIA community. Sometimes this is for bigoted reasons, with intersex radfems who use this stance as a way to be transphobic. But there are also intersex people who think that the “I” should only be included in the acronym when intersex people are actually meaningfully being included in queer spaces and resources. Many of us feel frustrated when people put “LGBTQIA” on a resource but then don’t actually have any intersex specific information in those resources. 

In general, this is an ongoing intracommunity discussion where we don’t have a consensus. 

7. Are intersex people disabled? 

It’s complicated! Intersex is an umbrella term for many different experiences, and there is not one universal intersex experience. Some intersex people identify as disabled. Some intersex people do not.

Many intersex variations do cause disabling impacts in our bodies and lives. Some intersex variations are comorbid with other health conditions. Other intersex people become disabled because of violent normalizing interventions we’ve survived, such as forced surgery or other types of medical abuse. 

Intersex people are also impacted by many of the same structures of oppression that harm disabled people. Both intersex people and disabled people are harmed by ableism. Both intersex people and disabled people are harmed by pathologization. Both intersex people and disabled people are harmed by curative violence. 

In the book Cripping Intersex, Celeste Orr explores all these concepts and creates something called “intersex is/and/as/with disability,” which is a model to think about all these different and sometimes conflicting relationships with disability. Some intersex people might identify directly as disabled. Others might sometimes think about the way that intersex is treated as a disability. Other intersex people might think about intersex and disability as a way to have solidarity. All of these relationships with disability are meaningful parts of the intersex community. 

8. What is intersex oppression/intersexism/interphobia/compulsory dyadism? 

Intersex people face a lot of oppression in many ways in society. At the core, intersex oppression relies on the idea that the only acceptable sex traits are sex traits that fit into the sex binary. Intersex oppression relies on mythical ideas of the “ideal male or female” body, where someone's chromosomes perfectly line up with their genitalia and internal reproductive organs, with perfectly normal hormone levels and perfect secondary sex characteristics that don’t have any variation. When people don’t fit into that “perfect” sex binary, they are seen as less valuable, abnormal, and threatening. There is then a societal pressure to eradicate any traits and people that fall outside of the sex binary, which causes a lot of targeted discrimination of intersex people. This form of oppression is called “compulsory dyadism,” and was coined by Celeste Orr. 

Compulsory dyadism is also rooted in, overlaps with, and is the foundation for many other types of oppression. For example, ableism is another form of oppression that creates ways of harming people whose bodies and minds are labeled as less valuable for societally constructed reasons. Check out Talila Lewis’s definition of ableism for more information. Another example is how racialized people are targeted by sex testing policies in sports--both intersex and perisex women of color are consistently targeted by sex testing policies designed to exclude intersex people from sports. Another example is that homophobia and transphobia contribute to why intersex bodies are seen as threats that need to be eradicated--society views existing with intersex sex traits as a slippery slope to growing up as a gay or trans adult. Compulsory dyadism is also at the root of a lot of transphobic rhetoric about how transitioning “ruins” people’s bodies. All these forms of oppression are connected. 

There are a lot of ways that compulsory dyadism causes intersex people to be targeted and discriminated against. A huge issue is nonconsensual surgeries at birth, that attempt to “normalize” ambiguous genitalia, remove intersex people’s gonads, and otherwise alter genitalia or internal structures. These surgeries are often referred to as intersex genital mutilation, or IGM. These surgeries do not have any medical necessity, but doctors lobby to continue to be allowed to perform them anyway. These surgeries can sterilize intersex people, cause lifelong trauma, and also cause many disabling medical complications. Alongside IGM, intersex people also face a lot of different types of medical abuse. 

Besides curative violence and medical abuse, intersex people also face discrimination in our schools, jobs, and public places. We face legal discrimination in changing our names and sex markers. We face discrimination from institutions like CPS, which often target parents, especially people of color, that refuse to put their children through intersex genital mutilation. Many intersex people survive targeted sexual violence. We have a widespread lack of resources, visibility, and representation. Many people still have prejudiced ideas about intersex people and call us slurs. These are just a few examples of the many way that interphobia/intersexism show up in our lives. 

9. What is intersex justice? 

Intersex justice is a framework created by intersex activists through the Intersex Justice Project as a way to fight for intersex liberation. 

“Intersex justice is a decolonizing framework that affirms the labor of intersex people of color fighting for change across social justice movements. By definition, intersex justice affirms bodily integrity and bodily autonomy as the practice of liberation. Intersex justice is intrinsically tied to justice movements that center race, ability, gender identity & expression, migrant status, and access to sexual & reproductive healthcare. Intersex justice articulates a commitment to these movements as central to its intersectional analysis and praxis. Intersex justice acknowledges the trauma caused by medically unnecessary and nonconsensual cosmetic genital surgeries and addresses the culture of shame, silence and stigma surrounding intersex variations that perpetuate further harm.

The marginalization of intersex people is rooted in colonization and white supremacy. Colonization created a taxonomy of human bodies that privileged typical white male and female bodies, prescribing a gender binary that would ultimately harm atypical black and indigenous bodies. As part of a liberation movement, intersex activists challenge not only the medical establishment, which is often the initial site of harm, but also governments, institutions, legal structures, and sociocultural norms that exclude intersex people. Intersex people should be allowed complete and uninhibited access to obtaining identity documents, exercising their birth and adoption rights, receiving unbiased healthcare, and securing education and employment opportunities that are free from harm and harassment.” (Source: Dr. Mel Michelle Lewis through the Intersex Justice Project.)

There are seven principles to intersex justice: 

Informed consent

Reparations

Legal protections

Accountability

Language

Children's rights

Patient-centered healthcare

10. What is intergender? 

Intergender is a gender identity for use by intersex people only. It doesn’t have one specific definition-it is used by intersex people to mean a whole variety of things. It’s used to describe the unique ways our intersex experience intersects with and influences our gender.  Some people use it as a modifying term, such as calling themselves an intergender man or woman, as a way to explain the way being intersex affects their identity. Other people identify solely as intergender, and have that be their whole gender. 

11. What is dyadic/perisex/endosex? 

All are words that mean “not intersex.” Different groups will have different preferences on which one they like to use. 

12. Is hermaphrodite an offensive term? 

Yes. It is an incredibly offensive slur that perisex people should never say. Many intersex people have a very painful history with the slur. Some of us reclaim the term, which can be an important act of healing and celebration for us.

12. Can perisex people follow? 

Feel free, but understand that questions by intersex people are prioritized! Anyone is welcome to follow.

13. I’m writing a character who’s intersex…

Check out this post:  https://trans-axolotl.tumblr.com/post/188153640308/intersex-representation. If you’re writing about intersex people for a paid project, you should pay an intersex person to act as a sensitivity reader before publishing. 

Check out our Resources and Intersex Organizations pages as well!

[bekkathyst]

Hey folks, this post is super personal and basically a long rant about health issues and the state of the healthcare system, so please proceed with caution especially if any of that is triggering to you. But if anyone else who maybe has some experience with these things and wants to offer some advice, I welcome it because I’m truly at a loss right now.

I’m really trying to be hopeful that my health issues will get figured out and I’ll finally get help for what I think is an autoimmune condition that is existing just under the diagnosable levels, but I’m losing any faith I had left in the healthcare system. The truth is I haven’t felt normal since 2021. I never felt better than I did while I was pregnant and then the year afterward. (Aside from the blood pressure issues at first lol) I keep find myself missing who I was back then. I was able to do so much, hike so far and high up, I had so much energy and I felt great. My blood pressure was under control, my blood sugar was perfect without restricting what I ate, my body wasn’t constantly inflamed and in pain, I didn’t have multiple migraines a month, and I didn’t have problems sleeping. I keep asking myself over and over what I did differently then, but I just can’t understand why I got so bad so quickly while they keep telling me it’s my fault because I’m just fat and not eating well or exercising enough. It’s maddening and I’m tired of hearing that. The reason I’m not exercising as much any more is because I’m constantly in pain or dealing with being sick. (And I eat SO well, better than I ever have before like wtf. And I do still exercise to be clear, I’m in nature every change I get.)

I was really hoping that I wasn’t going to face this here like I did in America, but it really seems like doctors just do not care about your symptoms and if you’re not presenting with the exact blood levels they studied to diagnose things, they’re just convinced you’re either making everything up or exaggerating.

So far I know I have: insulin resistance, high blood pressure (managed), PCOS, I’m hypermobile (which has been confirmed but no one’s bothered to look into it and any possible comorbidities), I have lipedema in my arms, hips, and thighs, chronic migraines, subclinical hypothyroidism, iron deficient anemia that I have to keep getting infusions for, and basically my whole life I’ve had headaches and heart palpitations. Phew.

I’m just at a loss here. This past year alone I’ve gained 30 lbs without changing anything, and if I bring this up I’m just told to stop eating carbs which is just absolutely not helpful. It’s clearly a symptom of whatever is going on and not the other way around. I’m so tired! And on top of the usual symptoms, I now spend basically October through April being sick with various coughs, infections, etc with little breaks of being normal in between.

Has anyone else dealt with this and have you found anything that’s helped? I try really hard to take care of myself, but it feels like these days nothing is really making a difference anymore.

[gracelesslady23]

Snippet

(haven't been tagged but started I started my first (of hopefully a few) fic for @prongsfootweekarchive and wanted to share :)

Open tag for anyone wanting to share a snippet of what they are working on!

~~~

“You mean you haven’t –?”

James suddenly found the rim of his mug fascinating, running his eyes along it as the half-finished question lingered unanswered in the air between them.

“Nothing since Lily,” James finally confessed.

“Nothing?” Sirius balked. James was not overly surprised by Sirius's surprise, after all he had taken some pains to hide it from Sirius, to hide it from everyone. But tonight, hiding didn’t feel like the necessary evil had it previously – it just felt lonely.

“A goodnight peck here and there, but not anything more,” James confirmed.

“Jesus.” James’s head jerked up at Sirius’s muttered exclamation, finding Sirius slumped in his chair looking at James is something akin to alarm.

“You can stop looking at me like that, Pads. Merlin, you’d think I’d told you I've been diagnosed with dragon pox,” James said, lightly kicking Sirius’s ankle under the table. “Nobody has ever died from a dry spell.”

“Maybe not… but it’s been five years, Prongs.”

“Yeah, well…” James let his gaze drift away, the tops of his ears burning.

“Maybe I could –”

“Thanks, but no…” James sighed. “I don’t think I can stand going on anymore blind dates, Pads. Not for a while at least.”

“That’s not what I was suggesting,” Sirius said, a wry grin crossing his face.

James frowned. “Then what were you suggesting?”

Before answering, Sirius lifted his cup and drained his tea, setting the porcelain down with a solid chunk of the wooden table. He met James's eyes with a familiar determined set to his jaw.

“Kiss me.”

“What? Why?!” James spluttered.

“To get the first proper kiss after Lil– after everything out of the way with someone that you know and trust? To prove to yourself there is nothing wrong with you? To prove to yourself that you can? Take your pick.”

“You really think this will help.”

“Can’t hurt, right?”

[chronicallycouchbound]

Rating names/terms for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome:

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome: 10/10 Lawful neutral, it’s the official terminology, lets you know what’s up

EDS (in all caps): 9/10 Sometimes confused with other unrelated conditions and acronyms but usually works

EDs (‘S’ is lowercase): 2/10 Usually refers to erectile dysfunction or eating disorders, which causes a lot of confusion.

Ehlers Danlos: 8/10. Good shorthand while still knowing what’s going on.

Earers Daniel’s Syndrome: 1/10. I have only heard this once, from an ER doctor. He said it to me as he turned away from his screen (which was pulled up to the Web MD page for EDS) and proceeded to mansplain my condition to me inaccurately. At least he tried.

“Eyers Dan—“ *waves hand around*: -5/10 I’ve heard this one a lot from medical professionals. I just know I’m about to be malpracticed and am already planning the quickest way out of the situation.

Zebras: 6/10 I like the imagery, I like mascots, I like the story (when doctors are in med school they’re told “if you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras” but them zebras are missed) however, I have two criticisms: a) more rare conditions are out there, and zebras technically refers to any rare diseases, not just EDS b) I feel sad when I think about how it basically calls EDS the “I was medically malpracticed disease”

EDSers: 8/10 a cute lil shorthand for “people with EDS”. Easier to explain than the zebras thing

hEDS/vEDS/cEDS/including subtypes: 7/10 I like the idea of being able to know what your subtype is and find people in your sub community, HOWEVER my only concern is that it can feel (and used for) invalidating people without a genetically confirmed subtype because of inaccessibility. I haven’t had gene testing because I can’t afford it— but I have clinically diagnosed EDS, which has been confirmed at multiple hospitals by multiple specialists. I score a 9/9 on the Brighton, meet all major criteria, and meet almost every other minor criteria for EDS on top of that. But I don’t know my subtype yet. I don’t hate/dislike people who use this term and I don’t discourage it, but I do encourage mindfulness about genetic testing accessibility and privilege of access.

Bendy disease: 10/10 a silly goofy joke I say with friends “I cannot walk up stairs on account of my loosey goosey bendy disease” which is always funny to me. Even with my serious things like “my life threatening cardiac conditions are rapidly progressing” you add “on account of my bendy disease” and bam theres my coping skill.

Ehlers: 3/10 a step in the right direction, but it sounds like “yellers” and dismisses half of the team that described the condition

“Double jointed”: 1/10 I was told my whole life until I was 18 that I was just “double jointed” for starters, it’s medically inaccurate. You’re hyper extending, subluxing, or even dislocating joints whenever you’re “double jointed” in a joint. There is not two joints there (unless you’ve had x rays and for some reason genuinely do have two joints in that spot). I honestly hate this term and it’s incredibly dismissive of the pain that happens with EDS while also making it seem like a super power that we’re encouraged to do

Contortionist: 1/10 [NOTE!!! some contortionists DO NOT have EDS and can just bend like that. Some have benign joint hypermobility. But many contortionists do have EDS.] In the context of people with EDS, I hate this term. It’s often the first thing people jump to when I explain my condition. They see my crippled ass in my wheelchair/powerchair or limping around with my cane/crutches/rollator, usually in multiple braces/supports (and thats just external noticeable-to-everyone things, let alone if you hear any aspects of my daily life) and their first thought is: “wow!! So you can entertain me like it’s a freak show!” And not “holy shit dozens of dislocations per day and countless subluxations per day must be excruciating”. I did contortions when I was younger to get praise and due to peer pressure. Fuck that noise I will not be your ugly law era freak show creepy cripple p0rn. Fuck everything to do with that actually.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for letting people think I am neurodivergent even if I might not be?

For context I (21 f) am from a family that doesn’t really believe in mental health issues and would probably be very high functioning if I was diagnosed. I think I might have autism, though I am scared to self diagnose, because what if I’m wrong and everything was like confirmation bias- I was looking for signs of autism and so found them. I sometimes go nonverbal (stress, injury, or being tired makes it more likely to occur) and struggle with words sometimes. I am also sometimes very literal and have a bit of trouble with sarcasm (it was worse when I was younger). I also probably have anxiety (social and general maybe). I am also a very quiet and shy person.

The situation: I was singled out for public speaking at a gym class event at college, that was also sort of a public humiliation thing(it was run sort of line boot camp) on my first day. I had not been able to find a partner fast enough for an activity. I stuttered and was asked to speak up and speak clearer and when I tried to repeat myself nothing came out. I started crying and one of the other girls in the class had to take me away to calm down. Since I still couldn’t speak I used my notes app on my phone to explain things to her and then she told the coach.

I think they assumed that I am like some form of neurodivergent because it kind of got around the school and some people treat me kind of differently. I haven’t corrected anyone and no one’s really said anything but I still feel weird about it. So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

PJO TV SHOW (and book) SPOILERS beneath cut!!!!!

What follows is simply a bunch of my nonsensical responses to the first 2 episodes in no particular order; I really cannot explain that any other way I’m afraid

“Whose side are you on?” “Hers, always. She’s my little sister” JUST RIP OUT MY HEART WHY DON’T YOU

Mythomagic. Mythomagic. Mythomagic.

Sally saying not everyone who looks like a hero is a hero and not everyone who looks like a monster is a monster - THE FORESHADOWING??? THE REFERENCE TO BOOKS THAT ARENT EVEN BEING ADAPTED YET IM LOSING MY MIND - Also, the justice for Medusa in this was absolutely gorgeous and so well done because it didn’t black and white anyone as just a hero or just a villain but very well highlighted the woven and layered morality of a very complex web of stories, personally I’m mostly a Medusa defender but give me a good quality, well written Perseus retelling and you could probably convince me otherwise I think the point of many of these stories is that there is never a true victor and nothing is ever as easy to understand as a hero and a monster. I’m getting distracted now but hey let’s keep going, I really love Stone Blind by Natalie Haynes, which very strongly labels Perseus as the monster and Medusa as the victim, but I also think there is an argument that Danaë’s plight was diminished/overlooked in it and I would be open to hearing opposing views on that. Since I’m in this tangent I should add I don’t study classics I am just a fan, so I’m not the expert and would generally expect others to know more than me so get it out there I’m eager to learn. Anyway, Percy Jackson (sorry for the tangent)

Percy saying he thinks he’s made real friends I WANT TO CRY

They softened Gabe up quite a bit, or at least I thought they did maybe you guys think otherwise, but I wonder how his death will come across in this case(????)

I actually really like that they had Annabeth clock who Percy’s father was and push him into the water instead of it being Clarisse shoving him into the creek and stumbling upon it by accident, because it really heightened that idea of her being six steps ahead

I think the conflict between Grover and Percy was interesting and I’m intrigued as to how easily it’s resolved with the quest coming up, and on that point am I right that Sally making Grover swear to protect Percy was a new addition? Because I’m guessing that if the conflict between them is still heightened then that’s going to be the logical reason Grover uses to get into the quest, but also they made a big deal out of that and I kept expecting her to request he swear it on the Styx but she didn’t, I wonder if it was meant to be implied (?) or maybe I’m just reading into it

There was less Annabeth screen time than I was expecting but every second she was on screen was PERFECTION

The casting could literally l not have been better I love them all omg

I was kind of surprised they didn’t confirm Percy’s dyslexia and ADHD in the first episode and instead had Luke mention it because I always thought that Percy had already been diagnosed long beforw he call to camp but maybe I misremembered that (?)

THE D’ANGELO REFERENCE YES - like I know it wasn’t about them but it has to be intentional right?

The blink and you miss it Kane Chronicles reference amused me I haven’t actually read all of the Kane Chronicles yet but I really should

WAS THAT BLACKJACK!!!!!??????

I’m guessing that mechanical monster Percy saw out the window was reference to the bulls in book three sorry I can’t remember what they’re called, and with that the doodles in his notebook YES!!! I noticed a cyclops, Medusa, the minatour, and what I think might have been the hydra but I haven’t rewatched yet so stay tuned for possible correction on that lol

I love camp so much! The cabins are incredible and the interior of the Hermes is so much nicer than I imagined whilst still maintaining a kind of overcrowded atmosphere, I love it.

“You are Poseidon’s son” “I am Sally Jackson’s son” y’all don’t understand I almost screamed oh my good lord yes yes yes yes yes

Also, sassy Percy

[skyfallscotland]

Hi there!

I’ve been researching a lot bc I’m sick of being in pain for no particular reason and If this is too personal, feel free to not answer this.

Were your EDS discovered when you were a child? Or when you were older? And how did it work? (Like the diagnosing part)

That’s ok! Of course some things are personal but when it comes to this I think it’s important to talk about it, because otherwise so many people suffer in silence 🖤

So sorry if anything’s come across misleading but I actually don’t have EDS. I have a plethora of other chronic illnesses that are often found as comorbidities with EDS. My personal cocktail includes chronic hemiplegic migraine, postural orthostatic tachycardia (which I see hints of in Violet too), nerve pain and chronic fatigue among others.

Basically my nervous system is 10/10 done with me and my cells and organs are like we’re gonna keep you alive…sort of…and that’s about it, don’t ask for more 😅

I was diagnosed with my hemiplegic migraines at 11 which was simple because it’s a classic presentation and they became chronic at 21. The nerve pain and the chronic fatigue and POTS came later. I had to fight every step of the way, especially because I'm a woman and suffer from generalised anxiety disorder, so it was very easy for doctors to fob me off as a hypochondriac.

If you think you might have EDS, I’d suggest talking to either a doctor or physiotherapist about it if you haven’t already and if they tell you it’s nothing, tell them you want them to persist until you have answers because no one should be living in pain.

I’ve diagnosed two friends now with hEDS 😂 (later confirmed by doctors) because it was easy to recognise and never picked up for them. I don't know anyone who was diagnosed as a kid personally (we're in our early 30's). One of them was confirmed after her kids were diagnosed (the daycare raised questions too) which I think was also the case for RY from memory, but I could be wrong? And the other her chiropractor mentioned it as well after I had, which pushed her to see a doctor.

I don't think there's much that they can/will do for you generally after diagnosis, it's more just guidance for preventative measures and assistive therapies and aids, at least in my friends' experience, but if you're having other comorbid issues there might be meds for those so it's worth asking 🫶

[ogsherlockholmes]

Since all the Sherlock Holmes stories are in the public domain, here is a list of things, both from the canon and not, that I believe should be included in the adaptations which I’ve invented in my head and should be real. 

(To preface: I know there are adaptations which include some of these, but I’m still limited so I haven’t seen many which do. Also, these aren’t just my own ideas, a lot of people have said them too.)

-Sherlock respecting women (obvious)

-Sherlock respecting most people in general apart from the rich antagonists or police.

-Watson actually being smart (he’s a doctor, yes in the Victorian era, but they did have some medical knowledge)

-Irene Adler being... Irene Adler. Not sexy dominatrix no-purpose-other-than-to-flirt-with-Sherlock.

-Not straight Sherlock.

-Not straight Watson.

-I would say Johnlock but I know some people see Sherlock as more aroace so I want it to be more inclusive. But. Maybe one Johnlock adaptation. As long as he’s not flirting with Irene Adler I’m happy. 

-Garridebs. 

-Actually exploring the drug addiction as more than a quirk or a joke. Like, at the end of The Sign of Four, it was so depressing how Sherlock spoke about it.

-More detectives other than Lestrade. I have nothing against Lestrade personally, but there are so many other detectives. May I suggest my guy Stanley Hopkins?

-Sherlock being Sherlock. Like, doing stuff like lying on the floor to investigate footprints or laughing when the clients are stupid or humming to music. Instead of being... like everyone else (*restraining from pointing at Henry Cavill’s Holmes).

-Autistic Sherlock. Not just implied (*glares at BBCSherlock*) but actually confirmed. (Yes, this is difficult since I don’t think autism was diagnosed in the Victorian times, but if Sherlock can survive the Reichenbach fall, he can be autistic.)

-ADHD as well.

-Sherlock and Watson going to concerts (that’s literally so cute, it should be obligatory that every adaptation includes it). 

-An adaptation of The Blue Carbuncle. It’s just a Christmas goose chase really but I love it.

-Mary Morstan not being Watson’s wife. She’s so much better without him, I’m sorry. 

-Female characters that win, or ones that are not there to be flirted with (*squints at every Adler adaptation*). I’m not just talking about her though, I mean other women, like the one who killed Charles Augustus Milverton (she’s iconic).

-Garridebs x2

-The thing about Sherlock reading horror stories and knowing every detail.

-Trans Sherlock. Again, difficult with the Victorian thing, but we can move past that.

-A female Sherlock. 

-A female Watson.

-Actually make them all women just to enrage every misogynistic Holmes fan.

-Exploring Watson’s PTSD. I mean, he was a soldier. Alone in London. Having no purpose in life. Injured from the war. That can’t be ignored. 

-Sherlock meeting an alien. I have no idea why I thought of that, but I think I saw that there was a story (obviously not by ACD) about that. I don’t know, I think it would be funny. (”Good God, Holmes, what on Earth is that?” “I don’t know, my dear Watson, but it seems to be breathing fire on Mrs Hudson’s plants.”)

-Housekeeper Sherlock. According to Sherlock, his housekeeping skills are underappreciated. 

-Sherlock retiring to the countryside to be a beekeeper. Please, he’s getting old and he’s been running around London for over a century.

Please add more, we have an opportunity to be creative here. It’s like fanfiction but to the extreme.

[letters-from-the-4077]

4x18: Hawkeye

Dear Dad,

I am concussed. So so so many concussions. You’d think my brain was made of gelatin the way it wobbles and wibbles. I don’t think wibbles is a word.

Mr. BJ is writing this letter for me. Actually, it’s Dr. BJ. Dr. Hunnicutt of the 4077th MASH unit.

My head hurts. But I wanted to you know that I am okay. 

You know what’s funny? If I didn’t write to you to tell you that I’m okay, you would never have known that there was a chance I’m not okay, which means that this letter is net zero information. The unknown and being not okay cancel each other out and then you carry the two and then you get me, your son, being okay.

Your bestest okay-est son,

Hawkeye

.

Dr. Pierce,

This is BJ writing now. I suppose I also wrote the top bit, but only because I don’t think Hawkeye would’ve been able to hold a pen and focus on the page at the same time, and even he seemed to realize that. Correspondence when it comes to Hawkeye is surprisingly difficult. Lots of “stops” and “wait don’t actually write that.” Hopefully I got enough of what Hawkeye was trying to say. Even concussed, his brain moves faster than his mouth.

He is going to be okay, just so you know. Nobody’s really quite sure what happened and he’s either too concussed or too guarded (or both) to tell us anything more than the basics, but he’s back safe at the 4077th, and nobody’s about to let him out of their sight for the next couple of days. I’m sitting on an extra bed in post-op now, writing this letter to you. Hawkeye’s finally resting and I felt that what he told you might’ve caused more worry than what should’ve been assuaged, which is why I’ve decided to continue it. 

I hope that’s not too forward of me. I’d write you a whole new letter but I wouldn’t want that to cause even more concern, and besides, paper’s in high demand out here. Everything’s in high demand, actually. 

But Hawkeye is going to be just fine, if not in need of a few weeks of bed rest, God help me when I have to actually tell him that. I’m sure you know better than I, but Hawk’s not too into staying in one place and resting until it’s the only thing he seems to do. 

He hasn’t confirmed it yet, but Radar—that’s the company clerk, I’m sure Hawkeye’s told you about him—said that there was an overturned jeep next to a small local village, and he’s pretty sure Hawkeye was in it when it crashed. Radar said he didn’t see any evidence of shelling or anything like that, so your guess is as good as ours as to why the jeep decided to roll over on its side in the first place. 

Hawkeye was due back from the 8063rd where he went down to help out because two of their surgeons came down with the flu, along with about half of  their nurses. Miraculously, we haven’t had any flu problems out here in the 4077th, but maybe we’re next in line. Whatever the case may be, Hawk’s jeep crashed on his way back and according to Radar and Hawkeye’s ramblings, a nice Korean family kept an eye on him for the better part of the day and sent one of their daughters to our camp to go collect him.

We took pictures the second Radar came in with Hawkeye, and even in his own state of being concussed, he had managed to diagnose himself with the right thing without any of our imaging. We merely confirmed what he had already announced: a skull fracture just behind his ear, on the fissure between his right parietal and temporal bones. I’d say it’s a minor fracture, but the skin is broken, and you know as well as I do that there’s really no such thing as a minor skull fracture. 

He’d been mostly alert and somewhat been able to follow conversations, but you never know with Hawkeye. Even on a good day, where he has zero skull fractures, his mind runs faster than the rest of ours. Jumping between thoughts has never been much of an anomaly, but I’ll be the first to say that it’s worse than normal.

But, I digress. He’s resting now, actually sleeping, and we’re all going to keep an eye on him. I’m writing this in the mid evening, and I don’t get off until 2200. Regardless, I’m going to spend the rest of the night in post-op to make sure that nothing happens during the night. We’ve already started him on saline and penicillin; saline for rehydration, and penicillin because nobody here wants to chance a skull fracture becoming infected. The phrase “preventive medicine” comes to mind, but I doubt any doctor but myself is thinking about that in Korea. 

You’re probably going to be getting another letter from Hawkeye when he wakes up. I don’t think he’s going to remember much of this past day, let alone the hour before finally falling asleep and the mumbling of words as he tried to get through a letter to you. He’s also going to probably downplay his injuries when he writes to you, which is another reason why I felt the need to take over this letter. 

I’m not sure if Hawkeye’s told you anything about me, but I have a daughter out by San Francisco, nearly 10 thousand miles away, and if anything had happened to her, I know that I’d want to know immediately, and with all the details. It might be different seeing as how Erin, that’s my girl, is only a few months old and Hawkeye is pushing 31, but I’m not convinced. This might be the naivety of a new parent coming through, but I get the feeling that no matter how old they get, you never stop worrying. 

I suppose I should reiterate it again: Hawkeye is going to be okay, and we’re all keeping an eye on him, even Margaret. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I think she truly cares about Hawkeye. He’s an easy person to care about. Almost too easy to worry about, some days. 

If anything else happens, I’ll get Radar to place a call to you so you don’t have to wait for these letters. I suppose if that’s going to happen, you’ll have already known about it, seeing as how postage delay is up to about two weeks out here. 

I think Hawkeye’s rambling might be rubbing off on me, and there’s really no other updates I can get at this time, so I’ll end it here and get this letter sent first class. 

Signed,

BJ Hunnicutt

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[sharkboywrites]

Autism testing update and how it’s affecting my account

Hey, so today I finished getting tested for autism and, unlike I was hoping, it didn’t really give me an answer

I got diagnosed with nvld, nonverbal learning disability, which is a lot like autism but not exactly the same. My doctor told me they’re generally under the same umbrella and have a lot of the same issues. This isn’t exactly a clear answer though, just because I was diagnosed with it doesn’t mean I have the answer to everything. I was told that this is the closets diagnosis because they don’t have enough to diagnose me with autism, but I don’t 100% fit into the label of nvld, I still have other issues that don’t line up, so it’s possible I could have autism (for example hyper fixations, special interests, and sensory issues aren’t explained by nvld), but there just isn’t enough considering it was only a 3 hour testing and my memory of my childhood is very muddled.

If you know my account you know I write for autistic readers and I was really worried that I wouldn’t be able to do it anymore, but after doing some thinking I’ve decided I’ll still be writing for autistic readers. We haven’t confirmed that I’m not autistic, we just don’t have enough information. I still have requests for autistic readers and want to do them, and from what I’ve been told my writing of autism is pretty good and makes people comfortable. Even if I don’t have autism in the end, if I decide to get longer testing that is, nvld is still pretty close to autism, having relatively the same struggles and characteristics, so I’m glad to say I will still be writing for autistic readers.

[lucysweatslove]

The last two days have been really busy and tough. I’m so glad it’s over.

Yesterday I saw my PCP in the morning, and I think I already said that she was running so far behind I had to reschedule therapy. She basically confirmed what I thought already: hair loss from telogen effluvium, but I’m at the end of the heavy loss portion (pull test was negative). Lots can trigger it like stress or a high fever. Timing is right for stress related to school. The myalgias are most likely a combo of dehydration (I really can’t bring myself to drink enough fluids, and I know this) along with muscular tension (I have good strength and general flexibility when prompted, but I’m constantly tensed up- so it’s not that my muscles and fascia CAN’T but that I’m likely holding my body tightly). Since the really bad myalgias and allodynia mostly resolved back to low level myalgia with gradual worsening, I may have had an acute viral illness like influenza or something that made all of that transiently worse, but you can’t really diagnose afterwards (also, if lol if I did have influenza because I got my flu shot in September…)

She ordered some labs to check for muscle damage and any metabolic concern too, and I think she added D and iron on to it as well. But I haven’t come in yet because I haven’t had the time.

She ended up “prescribing” self care. Specifically, at least 20 min a day, 3 days a week, focused in muscular relaxation like gentle stretching or foam rolling. She said she could send referrals for PT specifically thinking the dry needling they do could help, and she’s happy to write a letter for therapeutic massage if I need that for insurance coverage (which, I don’t think I would). And I love that she is so willing to support me with those kinds of treatments. Reality though is that I don’t think I CAN make time for them on top of everything else. I’m at the hospital nearly every day anyway, so she was all “they can do it here” to convince me to try it (especially the dry needling), but I just can’t bring myself to spend an hour on a PT appointment somewhere in between classes and clinical stuff.

Also, I’m kinda sorta trying something new out personally in relation to the body discomnect. I downloaded Kinder World, thinking it would a great way to start doing smaller bits of more digestible self care… and I introduced myself for the first time ever identifying as a demigirl. I read about it for the first time a couple months ago I think, and it felt like it matched how I feel about my general gender and even some of my body disconnect, but I have a hard time with it… in my head it works well and I’m totally fine with it and feel like its a good descriptor, but I don’t know how other people will take it, or what they’ll assume I think or feel because of it. Especially because I don’t want to devalue or take away from the seriousness of anybody else’s marginalization or trans experiences. In my personal framework I’m still cis. I’m AFAB, and my my general presentation and what I’m comfortable with matches my gender assigned at birth to a degree. I love a lot of traditional feminine things like dresses and my long hair and doing my makeup, and I still use she/her pronouns in basically all situations. More so, I never particularly feel MASCULINE either. I just don’t feel totally binary feminine. Like the intensity of femininity is… low, even when I’m doing the “feminine things.” And I know many agender or non-binary people can identify with some femininity too- I’m not saying you have to identify as feminine or a girl to enjoy those things. But for me, it feels like the way I experience the disconnect from gender isn’t strong enough or all the time to say I’m NOT in any way a woman.

I kinda had this same feeling when I realize I was demi sexual too. I had no idea if that was actually part of LGBTQIA+ because a) asexuality isn’t always welcomed in that acronym, b) I’ve only ever dated men and as AFAB myself that feels like a “straight” experience and has come with privilege, and c) because I do experience attraction to my spouse, am I even welcome in ace spaces? My best friend who is bi and also has some non-binary feels (she/they last I heard) is like “I include you in queer” and reassured me all the time that pride is for me. I honestly don’t even know my romanticity at this point or if I’m capable of developing sexual attraction to women or non-binary or agender folk, because I’ve never tried to develop that connection. I’ve been with my spouse for 12 years, since I was 17. I never really explored that part of me, and I while I kinda want to know for my own knowledge, I’m really happy and fulfilled in my marriage and I’m not like, “tempted to explore and find out.” More so, I just realized recently that I honestly don’t know, and that feels also a little weird as I’m approaching 30. But yeah, having my best friend’s inclusion makes me feel more secure or valid or whatever. I’m more comfortable wearing my pride colors and generally calling myself ace spec too.

Anyway, I’m sure I’m overthinking the gender thing. When I shared the demigirl thing with my best friend when I first found, her response was like, if it feels like you then great, use whatever words and terms and pronouns you feel matches. I just sent them a message (she’s hopefully asleep) about it too. First person I officially told about it. Idk how I feel about vocally identifying as demigirl and she/they in anything other than an online game and to my best friend… and I guess here too but idk. I think I’m just worried that I’m starting to take up a space not meant for me. Idk.

[fleeting-sanity]

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The sunset was a cool shade of purple. Vyria’s lightsaber swings added streaks of blue to it, somehow quite relaxing to watch. But what was not relaxing to Riornivo was his chest. It wasn’t frequent, but everytime it constricted, it’s as if his blood got thicker and clotted, refusing to flow throughout his body. He tried his best to hide the suffering by closing his Jedi robes around his body, concealing his posture.

Which did the opposite instead. Vyria stopped abruptly, surprising her half-brother with a long jump to land next to him. 

“You’re sick. Let’s go.”

“I’m not. Even so, I can heal myself, remember?”

“But you haven’t. C’mon Spiky, agree with me just once,” as Vyria’s volume climbed, clearly upset. “Stop treating me like I’m less than you two. My words never seem to matter!”

“Ria!” Riornivo exclaimed, also upset and in pain. “Don’t say that. You’re never beneath anyone. Wh-I… I'm so sorry. I’m sorry you feel that way…” as he immediately lowered his voice, subduing his emotional response for a more empathetic point of view. She did just miss out on speaking to her father, and it hurt him to know that his sister was feeling that way.

“Then listen to me! I just want to help, damn.”

Vyria easily dragged her brother by the arm with her unnatural strength. Halfway towards the base, the constriction came back with a vengeance, causing Rio to writhe down to his knees. Vyria managed to quell her panic enough to call the base’s medical personnels, then resorted to carrying her tall brother in her arms for a faster trip. They met at the entrance, and Rio was then carried on a stretcher. The wounded Jedi couldn’t think straight, but the prime malady was in his mind: worrying the people around by seeing him that way. Vyria insisted on being next to her brother’s side, but she was barred entry to the emergency room.

The biological diagnosis yielded no results, but his pain could be seen physically. There was a dark core on his chest, and the doctors diagnosed it as a respiratory disease even though the medical data disagreed with them. Then came the Jedi healers. They dismissed the doctors for privacy, to which the doctors protested but relented.

“Looks like a classic dark side corruption, but… it should affect the mind too.” 

Rio confirmed his state of mind, grimacing when he recalled the moment of Valkorion’s occupancy in his mind becoming public knowledge. His sister peeking then entering the room reinforced this; the reason behind why he was so reluctant to let her know about his condition was the lack of obscurity. But he could never fault her for being the kind of Jedi who accepted help from others, unlike him. 

“Snowy… could you please call Lana here?”

This time, Vyria did not hesitate and sought out Lana right away. The golden-haired Sith arrived with an additional Sith: Lord Scourge. Lana quickly caught the meaning behind Rio’s facial expression, and it’s not about the pain he was experiencing. But before she could do something about it, Scourge voiced his intention. “I need this room emptied.”

“Let me guess: that includes me.” Vyria sneered.

“Yes.” 

“Snowy… it won’t be long.” Rio’s weak attempt at placating.

“You know that’s not why I’m–nevermind!” As Vyria huffed away with the rest of the Jedi healers. The feeling of hurting and reinforcing his sister’s insecurity competed against the physical pain, with his mind being the ultimate loser. He should have followed her advice of less combat, but how was he supposed to protect those who needed help without being there for them?

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. We need to do something about the wound he left.” Scourge stated. 

“Scourge told me about the battle. But you need something done first. Tell me.”  

He appreciated how direct Lana was, trying to fight off the pain for a coherent sentence. “Can you… uh… keep this--this… under wraps? I don’t want–agh!”

“Understood.”

He tried summoning a healing salve to dull the pain, but it was futile. “I don’t think you’re infected. But I just want to be sure. I’ve contacted some of my Sith acquaintances.”

“S-Sith–Scourge, I just- I just told Lana-”

“I know. I will deal with them after they do what they’re supposed to. You need help with a dark side wound–they know better.”

“No… please don’t. I…”

Talking to Scourge proved to worsen his condition, but before he could protest any further, another sharp pain took his consciousness away. He was caught completely off guard by how fast the wound progressed. His entire world plunged into darkness. Maybe it was death, but as much as he desired it, there were still others who needed him. Maybe he has fought for too long.

Perhaps Tenebrae finally got him.

But he wasn’t the only one who remembered the wound inflicted during the battle. It was witnessed by a number of people, and they all sought Riornivo out only to not see him. Because he was taken away from Odessen to seek other methods of healing after every attempt failed. He was no longer breathing, still as a statue with dark streams flowing through his veins. Rionnic paced back and forth next to his twin, looking disheveled and restless. 

“No, I can still feel him through the Force. You all do as well! I’m sure there’s other ways we can try. I’m not giving up on him.”

The young Emperor was the only one agitated, while the others were sullen and hopeless. Vyria revealed to him about their father’s spiritual visit, stating that the late Jedi wouldn’t appear if it wasn’t a dire circumstance. Kira suddenly stood up, then hurriedly exited the underground chamber of the ruined Dantooine Jedi temple. She returned with Satele and Scourge. The former was clouded with guilt but was more focused on trying to help her former student.

“... His body contained the infection. Which is why we can talk and own our minds. But that comes at a cost. I… unfortunately exhausted all avenues known to me.” Scourge lamented. His successor interjected with his own idea.

“Can’t we do that… mind trip again? We purge the corruption away from him.”

“Vitiate is no more, as you can feel it through the Force. This is corruption on its own, without its master, without cure.”

“I might know someone…” Satele stated in a doubtful tone. All eyes were on her. “But he might need a few days to get here.”

And those days passed with Vaylin feeling cautiously endeared from meeting her little nieces. But that high slowly washed away with a feeling of uncertain anxiety. Deep down, she knew why. Guilt raced its way to the top of her mind. Her feet mindlessly brought her out of the ship, while her ears tuned out her surroundings. 

That Jedi. She remembered the moment they shared in that ultimate battle. But she also remembered how she cradled him, and he had never looked worse. Worry and longing joined the mix of emotions, resulting in her wanting to act on it. And the guilt?

It was because she prioritized her own misgivings over his well being, which was irrational. He would have wanted her to take care of herself, whether mentally or physically. If she had not gone to Ord Mantell, she wouldn't have met her delightful nieces.

She applied yet another disguise and bid farewell to Chonky. Serrus should arrive soon enough to watch over her pet gizka. She wasn't sure how much longer or how well she could keep her existence secret. But the image of Rio being tossed aside towards death’s door kept rewinding in her mind, and it has been a few days. Most importantly; albeit an unrealized fact, was that she missed him. 

Onwards to Odessen, no matter how daunting it would be.

Serrus gave her a tip that a patrol squad of Knights would switch their station for the weekly cycle between Zakuul and Odessen. When asked about why there was an extra Knight in the squad, she bluffed about a classified delivery for the Emperor. She lowered her voice register as best as she could, and ditched her accent. To her surprise, it worked.

“It’s probably something for his son,” as the Knight next to her tapped a finger on the small box she was showing. 

“Yeah, seems pretty lightweight. Let’s go, I wouldn’t wanna be late for the Emperor.” Vaylin added. The box's actual content was a civilian disguise should she need a change. Seconds later, the shuttle departed from Zakuul to the planet she invaded not too long ago. When they landed at the military base, at first she followed the squad’s route to get inside the base, then they were required to split up into sections. That was her chance.

“I understand… it’s okay to cry it out, Ria. Then you can rest. I know you’re really tired,” consoled the blue twi’lek girl she had tried to murder back then.

“I just… I’m sick of seeing him on his deathbed. But this time I feel something’s different…” cried the silver-haired girl that dueled her aboard Arcann’s exploding battlecruiser. His sister.

Deathbed? Were they talking about him? However, before she could eavesdrop any further; “Hold on, who’s there?”

Vaylin quickly retreated while subsequently apologizing. The conversation planted a spiking feeling across her body, and that image of him dying resurfaced. Her steps became aimless, so much so that she failed to pay attention to a whole man bumping into her. The man immediately recognized her through the disguise. “What are you doing here?”

“I… I-I was-” Vaylin stuttered, but her brother quickly pulled her away for more privacy.

“You’re here for him isn’t it?” Arcann asked gently.

“What happened to him?”

Arcann was quiet. He then turned around with an apologetic smile, clearly trying to carefully construct his words around her. Even behind the Knight helmet, he could sense the anxiety seeping out of his sister. “He’s now at Dantooine. I know you remember the battle. We’re trying to… treat him. He’s… hmm… he’s asleep.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“You would seek him out and risk being uncovered. Which is exactly what you’re doing now.”

She failed to come up with a counter to that. But that didn't deter her from wanting to see him, and frankly, she felt a little offended. "Maybe I'm tired of sneaking around. I want to be in your shoes, walking around freely after everything you did." 

Arcann felt the venom of her tongue. Rather than continuing the conversation and probably riling his sister up, he shrugged, offering a parting proposition.

"I'm about to go visit him. If you're coming, that means I'd have to reveal your identity to them, because he is strictly guarded..." as he shook his head, bracing for the next sentence, regretting how hard it was to not make Vaylin upset. "His twin might not grant you entry."

Said evil twin however, was shocked upon discovering who Satele and Scourge was bringing in to help. Vyria trailed them closely with such a haggard expression, far removed from her usual upbeat self. It was an elderly man wearing robes known to Rionnic, bringing war flashbacks and building up his Sith rage.

“You’ve clearly lost your mind.”

“Perhaps, but I feel he is the best bet we have… much as I doubt it. Ultimately, the decision is yours.” Satele lamented, while leaving the chamber with Scourge.

“You’re going to turn him into a Dread Master again, aren't you?” Rionnic threatened by pointing his crimson saber at the man, faster than the speed of sound.

“Red-Red… Please, listen-listen–I don’t care as long as he’s… he’s alive!” pleaded Vyria, shakily.

"You watched him get corrupted and that's what you had to say?"

"Be a little selfish! You're Sith! Your nemesis is your master!" As Vyria tearfully marched towards Rionnic's lightsaber blade, continuing her desperation in a calmer manner. "You said you're not giving up on him."

Which made Rionnic’s arm drop, and his lightsaber turned off. 

“Hurry. Time is a fleeting concept.” The man finally spoke, startling both siblings.

Rionnic was a family man. His brother might have caused endless problems with his stupidity, but he couldn’t imagine not seeing that smile ever again. There was definitely guilt for letting Vyria work almost alone on finding their brother in the five years Riornivo was in carbonite, while he was busy searching for his own family. He slowly walked towards his twin, laying a hand on his face, cold and lifeless. Vyria’s hand joined his, forming a cup caressing their beloved brother. Both siblings's eyes met for a non-verbal agreement. The chamber was emptied except for Riornivo and the former Dread Master.

“Children these days.”

The old man began levitating Riornivo’s body by controlling his Architect Wings, forming a makeshift cradle to support his posture. He further examined the wound, then reached deep into the Force to rewind his patient’s past actions. The battle inside Satele’s mind, the spiritual visit, the encounters with Malgus, but what made him shake his head was what he did during the invasion of Odessen. It gave him a clear cause of the situation. He then meditated for a while, preparing himself for the task at hand.

And thus Calphayus donned his Dread Master crest once more.