#i have very little idea what i’m doing
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another renee from today
#i have very little idea what i’m doing#and my art style reflects that because THERE IS NO STYLE#it’s all over the place#i have zero consistency#aftg#all for the game#renee walker
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Todays the day. I need to get a job, even if that jobs not in the gaming industry. So I’m heading to the library to print up a resume and apply at a little local chain of mattress stores.
The guy instantly liked me when I went in to do a secret shop for a competing store and offered to hire me on the spot so I figure if I can chat with him he’ll still like me enough to consider me.
#ramblies#I’m dreading this so much I had dreams about getting hired by dropout tv instead#also my beloved was very sweet and when I said this was hard reassured me that I can do hard things#I wish I could wait for an industry job but it’s just not feasible#because we desperately need to move my beloved out of our current carpeted home#and moving costs are no joke#I’ll also need to get myself a laptop so I can keep honing rigging skills at the mattress job which I’m dreading#I have little to know idea how much I’ll need to invest to get a machine that can run Maya like a champ#which I’ll also need to buy an indie Maya license#god life is stressful and expensive#I long to be a little renaissance artist kept in a garret making what I please on the funds of patrons#alas
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[ cw: dismemberment / ]
I think a lot about how Leo’s rescue could have easily ended in him losing a leg as the portal snaps shut on the Krang still clutching the limb, or, alternatively, only having Leo’s right arm make it out, still held dearly in his brother’s hand as the rest of Leo is left behind. (The latter hits even harder, as it directly parallels his future self in the worst of ways.)
I think a lot about how so many things could have gone wrong during the course of the movie with even a little bit of a change, but it really is harrowing how much of a coin-flip the entirety of the Prison Dimension rescue was.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#dismemberment /#if literally any part of the prison dimension rescue was different it would have ended Very Badly#mikey came in clutch for doing the impossible in the first place#raph grabbing leo and not once letting go was vital#and donnie directly hitting the krang was essential#hell leo having the ability to reach out at all in the state he was in was a miracle#listen I think about the prison dimension a lot if you couldn’t tell#for the next tags:#strangulation mention /#physical trauma induced mutism /#potential death mention /#potential sibling death mention /#barely it mainly focuses on if he lives but /#I also think about how Leo’s trachea could have easilyyy given out as Raph (krangified) was choking him#can you imagine the last words raph hearing from his little brother being I’m sorry?#he’d likely live as the hamato bros are built different but imagine if he straight up can’t talk again after#the bros having no idea what Leo’s plan is but they suddenly feel him disappear with the portal#or also#imagine all he gets out in his hoarse voice is to beg Casey to close the portal before his family HEARS the sudden silence like a knife#even if he gets saved his voice may be wrecked or even gone for good#what am I writing wait-#also for my point on leo losing his arm paralleling his future self#imagine fate being a thing in this world but a VERY situational thing#imagine it makes it so that leo has to lose a limb#but not just that - it also ties his presence directly with the Krang’s - so if the Krang’s somewhere else…so is he
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Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part Three
For Xiantober Day Five: Past and Present, in which the author gets very unhinged about what parts of the past are shown and how that’s affected by the present!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
The Power of Agency: Shaping the Narrative
When I've discussed Wei Wuxian's agency previously, I’ve talked about how what’s shown and omitted tells us about a character, and we’ve talked about the character himself. Though this is a niche topic, it’s not necessarily something out of the ordinary to analyse, and we can assume everything up to here has been in some way intentional.
This? Linking structure to a character’s in-universe preferences?
This is where we get unhinged.
Before I start, let’s quickly establish something which will be important later: although Wei Wuxian is the central character, MDZS isn’t strictly from his POV. While omitting events a character doesn’t like to dwell on and concealing things the character wishes to hide is common in books with only one narrator, MDZS has multiple narrators which it switches between relatively quickly. This includes Wei Wuxian, but it also includes nearly every major character that appears in the story, and omniscient narrator as well. As a default, this format doesn’t lead to this deliberate shaping and omission because of one character’s preferences, since we have many other sources of information and events – which is what makes Wei Wuxian’s influence over the narrative and structure so interesting. We could have access to a lot more information, and access to it at different times, than we do (and that’s not an insult, quite the opposite!).
To begin: we’ve established that times such as Wei Wuxian’s time on the streets, his three months in the Burial Mounds and his loss in the Siege aren’t shown because Wei Wuxian has little agency there. But that’s not the only special thing about them. They’re also the three most traumatic times in his life, and so moments Wei Wuxian himself either can’t remember, or doesn’t like to dwell on.
This is why discussing Wei Wuxian’s treatment of tragedy in his life was important. Firstly, it shows he doesn’t focus on the tragedy in his life, so the idea that the narrative not focusing on this tragedy relates to his character has merit; secondly, it affirms that this is not a passive trait, but a choice. Therefore, when the narrative omits events due to this aspect of Wei Wuxian, it’s respecting not only a character detail – which would be cool by itself – but also an active decision. One that shapes the story it’s made in.
In other words, its very structure is respecting Wei Wuxian’s agency!
Now, of course there are flashbacks to other moments of his past he probably wouldn’t like to dwell on, too. But within the structure, they’re only shown when Wei Wuxian is thinking about them (or when he has reason to)!
Wei WuXian hadn’t woken up yet. His eyes were still tightly shut, yet his hand didn’t let go either. He seemed to be dreaming, muttering, “… Don’t… Don’t be angry…” Lan WangJi seemed somewhat surprised. His voice was gentle, “I am not angry.” Wei WuXian, “… Oh.” Hearing this, as though he finally felt assured, his fingers loosened. Lan WangJi sat beside Wei WuXian for a while. Seeing that he was motionless again, he was about to stand up when Wei WuXian grabbed him with his other hand, hugging his arm and refusing to let go. He shouted, “I’ll go with you, quick, take me back to your sect!” Chapter 63, EXR translation
Which, of course, is him dwelling on…
Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Go back to Gusu with me.” Hearing this, both Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng were surprised. Quickly afterward, Wei WuXian laughed, “Go back to Gusu with you? To the Cloud Recesses? Why go there?” He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.” Chapter 62, EXR translation
…the painful flashback immediately preceding this. The third set of flashbacks (which are also painful) are a similar case. Look at the contex:
He lifted the bottom of his robe, revealing a prosthetic leg made of wood, “This leg of mine was destroyed by you, that night in the Nightless City (…)” (…) “Wei WuXian, I won’t ask you if you remember or not. Both of my parents died by your hands. You owe too many people. You definitely won’t remember them either. But, I, Fang MengChen, will never forget! And never forgive you!” (…) “In the fight at Qiongqi Path, my son was strangled to death by your dog Wen Ning!” “My shixiong died by poison, his entire body festering due to your cruel curse!” Chapter 68 (immediately preceding the flashbacks), EXR translation
And Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts and words:
Wei WuXian looked at the cultivators before the Demon-Slaughtering Cave. Their expressions were the absolute same as those of the cultivators from the night of the pledge conference, pouring their wine on the ground as they took the pledge to scatter the ashes of the Wen Sect’s remnants and him. (…) Wei WuXian, “Now it’s time to ask just whom it is that treasures it so much. It’s like Wen Ning. Back then, some certain sects or so were scared to death of the Ghost General. They said they’d kill him on the surface, but behind their backs they hid him for over ten years. How strange. Who was the one that said his ashes had been scattered back then?” Chapter 79 (immediately succeeding the flashbacks), EXR translation
Once again, Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts relate to the flashbacks we’ve just been shown. And, as I previously mentioned, though all the events which are shown are tragic, they’re also events which Wei Wuxian’s own choices and actions shaped – which he has this to say about:
“The things I did, not only do you remember them, I remember them too. You won’t forget them, and they’ll stay even longer in my mind!” Chapter 82, EXR
Admittedly, this applies more to the third set of flashbacks than the second (which is still fitting as the third set was the most recent), as in the second, although he still had agency within and influence over his circumstances, the majority of the pain was caused by others’ actions (excluding, of course, the Golden Core transfer… which is something we know stays for a long time in his mind, albeit with a caveat we’ll soon discuss). But it’s still important to note – especially considering that otherwise, focusing on this very painful time in his life wouldn’t seem like something very in-character for Wei Wuxian to do.
Of course, this can all just be explained by good writing. It is best to insert flashbacks when they’re relevant to the characters and events in the present day! But it is interesting to compare these to the start of the (not painful) Gusu flashbacks, which open this way:
At a later time, Wei WuXian pondered upon the reason why his relationship with Lan WangJi wasn’t good. Getting to the root of the matter, everything started when he was fifteen, coming to the GusuLan Sect with Jiang Cheng to study for three months. Chapter 13, EXR
Again, considering the circumstances around which these flashbacks take place – returning to the Cloud Recesses for the first time since the lectures, and meeting Lan Wangji once more – it makes complete sense for Wei Wuxian to be thinking about these events*. So it does fit the pattern of Wei Wuxian dwelling on something, thus leading to the narrative dwelling on it, too (and being shaped by his thoughts)… but there’s another layer to this. Importantly, it is the only flashback where Wei Wuxian’s present thoughts don’t lead to this happening, with his thoughts at an unspecified future time leading to it, instead. I like to interpret this as the text saying that, since these events aren’t something Wei Wuxian wouldn’t focus on in normal circumstances, he can dwell on them at any time. Therefore, they’re free to come up in the narrative at any time as well, even if he’s not dwelling on them in the present moment!
So, to summarise: Wei Wuxian’s decision not to focus on the painful times in his life directly influences the narrative to not focus on these times. When painful times are brought up and shown to us, it’s in the context of him thinking about them in the present day, and even then, his most painful moments still aren’t shown to us. His agency in this regard is still respected by the narrative structure.
This is the main way his agency influences the structure of the narrative, but I’d like to talk about the revealing and concealing of information, too. For example, I said I’d talk about the Golden Core transfer – though Wei Wuxian does think about this many times, as evidenced by his internal narration in Chapter 103. But unlike everything we’re shown through the flashbacks, this is something Wei Wuxian is actively trying to hide from others. And the narrative respects this choice (Wei Wuxian’s agency, again), never reveals it even when it would be relevant in the flashbacks, and we find out not through narration, but through a character’s dialogue!
And to clarify – I know these aspects may not be in the book for this exact reason. Showing flashbacks in relevant moments is good writing, concealing an important plot point you want to do a reveal for is necessary writing, and MXTX has said she didn’t want to write about Wei Wuxian’s time in the Burial Mounds, due to not liking to write transformation sequences (and also because it would not be pleasant at all, which likely also applies to Wei Wuxian’s death). That doesn’t prevent it from also being intentional – MXTX’s intelligence is shown in many aspects of this book, and there’s nothing disproving it – but there’s no proof for either option, so I won’t pretend there is. I bring this up because I know this feels like I’m overanalysing, as I feel that way as well.
But, whether it’s intentional or not, it exists in the text, and I adore it – so, regardless, it’s something I’ll explore. Because taking this into account… We aren't just told about Wei Wuxian having agency, we aren’t just shown it in the text, we aren’t even just shown it through which parts of his past are shown and hidden in the structure of the text (as I talked about in Part One). The parts of the past that are shown and hidden also have an in-universe reason for being shown and hidden, this reason being the choices he makes! Agency is the ability of a character to influence the story they’re in, but Wei Wuxian’s agency, as a property of a character who only exists in-universe, shapes the out-of-universe structure as well! That’s how we’re shown its importance! How cool is that?
At The End Of The Road: Summary and Final Thoughts
In this essay, we’ve covered how important Wei Wuxian’s agency is not only to the events of the plot, but to the structure of the narrative as well. The narrative omits periods in which Wei Wuxian has little or no agency, in favour of showing us periods in which he does, even when important events happened in the former. This indicates that who Wei Wuxian is without agency isn’t important enough to be shown to the audience, and therefore that his agency is an integral aspect of his character in MDZS. We’ve discussed how both in-universe and out-of-universe, tragedy does not define him – out-of-universe, the tragic events in Wei Wuxian’s life are used not to build sympathy but rather to show his strength of character and who he still is despite going through them; and in-universe, he chooses not to focus on the negativity and resentment caused by his circumstances or others’ actions, instead staying true to his moral compass and enjoying his life in the present day. Finally, we’ve also explored how this choice is another reason for the omission of certain events from the narrative, resulting in his agency shaping the story in a very literal way – it affects the out-of-universe structure, as well.
It’s quite fitting, for a story whose essence is about defying a conventional narrative – that of righteous clans rising up and defeating a great evil – and about a character who defies many conventional narratives on his own – that of status defining how skilled you could be, that for a golden core being necessary for cultivation and other paths being unavailable, that of a tragic but complete story of someone killed for staying true to their moral code (instead, that character returns to life and has a happy ending) – to have its own narrative play a role in such an important and interesting way.
(Or, if an image would be preferable:)
Thank you for reading!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
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*This strong relation to the present day circumstances is another reason I love the flashback placement so much (and why I think it’s such a loss both screen adaptions altered it so strongly)!
#get ready for tag thoughts because there are a LOT of them#it’s for THIS reason that fanon wwx bothers me so much (didn’t want to get negative on the acual post)#bc so often all the changes are changes that woobify him!#self-sacrificial idiot wwx?? only doing things because… poor him he has so many internal issues and values himself so little-#-so of course he’d sacrifice everything before thinking of another option? woobifying#(whenever he sacrifices something it’s a deliberate choice to act on his morals because he values his morals so much – and he’s also very-#-capable and DOES often find ways for no people to get hurt!)#wasn’t aware that what happened to him at lotus pier was wrong and needs lwj to tell him that for him to have any idea if it?#woobifying (as we see in the lotus seed pod extra he KNOWS it’s unfair)#(he downplays it retroactively in his memory (links into not focusing on the bad things in his life))#(but that’s the actions themselves that are being downplayed not their fairness!)#he chooses to act! he is defined by acting! not tragedy – all the more impressive in the face of the amount of tragedy that’s happened#he could SO EASILY have been a woobie but instead he’s the opposite of one: defined BY his agency instead of the absence of it#that doesn’t mean he’s not impacted by tragedy or trauma – he is! but it’s not the most important aspect of his character (bc he doesn’t le#it’s also something that bothers me about the changes cql made#by making qq path and nightless city the fault of someone else it means he IS someone who’s more a victim of circumstance than anything els#he had no control over the tragedies of his first life at all#apart from ig his death being controlled by him? because he just leaps off the cliff during the nightless city siege?? but in THAT case it’#i watched that part recently (i’m getting through it very slowly) and yeah it reaffirmed my love for this aspect of the book even more#despite. having these exact thoughts for two years already#he also dwells on the past events a lot more than book wwx which adds to that version of him BEING defined more by tragedy rather than who#anyway over 7.3k words total (and 400 more in the tags apparently)... it'll be posted to ao3 in its completion this evening!#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc
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Wip
#wip#I finished the panels and speech bubbles so I’m taking a break to get an ice cream sandwich then coming back to do lineart#Honestly the worst thing about making these comics is that I can’t depict some of the stuff I really want to depict#Bc decent storytelling requires restraint#But I think a lot about everything and so I put an unnecessary amount of thought into this shit that I can’t reasonably add to the comic#Without making it feel out of character or just sorta tonally weird (admittedly I feel like I stretch it too thin as it is)#The reason I do these besides just bc I like making them and it’s fun is bc I am fascinated with Chilchuck as a character#And I have a very specific idea of his life based on the crumbs Ryoko Kui leaves us#Which I wanna. Like. Force other ppl to witness I guess 😭#But character exploration without any proper storytelling to frame it is boring to me#like I might as well just write it all out in an essay at that point#Anyways all that to say that I am annoyed that my comic about what Chilchuck saw when he said he saw his dad on the other side#Doesn’t leave room for me to show that I think his dads death indirectly led to Meijack being born and clarify why and how I think that hap#And that the whole sequence of events there is too long and unrelated to reasonably fit into those little extras I do sometimes
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Some Ethersea WIPs! + Some idea about each piece’s “title” below the cut, if anyone is interested :-)
Devo
Hand of Devotion vs Voice of Hope
Amber
The Lone Slayer vs Two Old Gods
Zoox
The Empty Brinarr vs The Guardian (maybe? Not sure yet)
#taz#taz ethersea#devo la main#amber gris#zoox anthellae#the adventure zone ethersea#the adventure zone#I’m intending to do these in different styles for each set#Devo would be in a painted style; or my usual illustration style#Amber would be idk more medieval based? rustic? something akin to pen/timent act3 IYKYK wink.#Zoox would probably be focusing more on colors shapes and texture with less emphasis on lineart#similar to graphic des issssshhh….???#anw woooo ive been so tired and a little sick lately and havent been able to do some art ideas ive had#PS: Yeah the one Young Devo sketch is a lot more detailed than the other sketches - its bc I have the clearest idea on what I wanted to do#with both the colors/values and the composition. That and also I got very tired 🥲
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👻🖤
Funky Timelapse Under The Cut ~
Happy Halloween!
#My Art#Artist On Tumblr#AU#Original Character#Fanart#Lego Monkie Kid#LMK OC#LMK INK MK#LMK Ink Demon#LMK Ink Demons#Akuma Ren#Ink Children#decided to post this early and with very simple coloring cause GUESS WHAT I’m sick for the fourth time this year 👌#originally I was just gonna do a spooky pic with INKY but didn’t have a idea so he’s just a tiny little face instead#hopefully next year
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Why is the anxious Italian man so fun to draw??
Just some silly little doodles and me messing around with a pixel art brush on my art app! :D
#art#my art#digital art#pizza tower#pizza tower peppino#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#I LOOOVE drawing silly and exaggerated expressions I’m so glad I can do it a bit again :]!!#getting a little bit of a better idea of how to draw Peppino too! :D had to re-teach myself to go a bit off model lol#alsoo little fake peppy in the last one because… I love when people just make ‘em big and friendly#I have been listening to the soundtrack all day it’s been burned into my brain HELP HDFH#This is what I decided to do instead of… yknow.. FINISHING THE GAME#please consider reblogging I’m very proud of these :’]
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prompt fill for @sigurism , i hope you enjoy this dear friend! 💜💜💜
36. …to give up control
It took a long time for the street to rebuild. It wasn’t their fault. That’s what Crowley kept telling Aziraphale. It wasn’t their fault, not really. The disasters just seemed to follow them.
“We cause them, Crowley,” Aziraphale said, peering out the window at the street below and the enormous jagged gash in the pavement. It was deeper than Crowley had thought one could have a gash in the pavement without hitting something below. Pipes or what have you. He said this to Aziraphale, and Aziraphale just stared.
“We don’t cause disasters,” Crowley said.
“You specifically caused that one,” Aziraphale said, pointing at the crack in the street.
“Well…”
“And that one.” The cafe’s sign was still dangling precariously by one hook.
“That was your fault.”
“And that one.” Aziraphale pointed to a lamppost that Crowley had, admittedly, hit with the Bentley not two days ago.
“That one I did cause,” Crowley conceded.
“Don’t you think we should, maybe, help them?”
“I don’t know how to pour asphalt,” Crowley said.
“A small miracle? That I know for a fact you know how to do.”
“The cement truck is already here,” Crowley pointed out. “It’ll be too suspicious.”
“Then fix the sign.”
Crowley very nearly told Aziraphale that he should fix the sign, because it was his disaster and Crowley had nothing to do with it, but he stopped. What did he know about homes or neighborhoods or belonging? He felt like he belonged in his Bentley, and he hoped that he and Aziraphale both thought that he belonged in the bookshop, but Aziraphale was an upstanding citizen. A pillar of the community. Maybe to be a pillar of the community, you needed to fix these types of things.
It was important to Aziraphale, at least.
Crowley pulled Aziraphale over to him with a hand on his shoulder and kissed him. Aziraphale made a surprised sound, but slowly his arms came to loop up around Crowley’s neck, and even more slowly, he kissed Aziraphale back.
“I’ll fix your bloody sign,” Crowley said.
send a kiss
#prompts#sigurism#good omens#aziraphale x crowley#aziraphale#crowley#I still love the idea of the coin toss so very much I’ll start doing that more honestly bc it was enchanting and also fun#i also did the coin toss in the car this morning when I was picking up a friend and I told them and they were like well. i’m glad you have#fun KDKDNDNFB and really that’s what I’m doing with all this. having a little fun 💜
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should i sleep for a hundred million years or purposefully stop sleeping just to see what happens
#i have slept 2 hours and haven’t been able to fall asleep again for like 3 hours and i was really tired and mad abt it but now i am not#tired and not mad abt it so maybe the path i should be taking is to stop sleeping. sleeping a lot gives me little energy and i’ve been#having trouble sleeping anyway so maybe i should use this to my advantage and run my little sleep deprivation experiment that i was#originally planning to do a couple years back but then got sooo eepy sleepy that i didn’t really get far. but maybe that’s bc i wanted to#go 72 hours straight w/o sleep so i could record my response to it. i should be more subtle i think. maybe only a few hours a night#and more 30 hour waking periods. do not listen to a single thing i say ever i’m an unreliable narrator btw. i think i could trigger smth#fun to happen i:m a good age for sleep deprivation to do something fun and interesting to me and i want to play god#but i’d get kinda sad being awake all the time bc sleeping is like my number one coping mechanism. then again the pain of losing#that on top of the physical and mental consequences of sleep deprivation would be like so cool. it would pain me so much#but i find that compelling. do not listen to a single word i say i will realize this is dumb later but rn i do kinda want to think abt#running my little experiments and trying to ruin myself further. i’m such a good thing to think abt experimenting on bc i’m so affected#by things i just wish i had more force of will Does anyone want to kidnap me and keep me awake for 72 hours (i’m thinking electrocution#will be involved) and keep notes i fear i’d give up and i wouldn’t keep good enough track of things which would be so sad#obvi it would be unethical but i’m cool w that. i would also want it all on camera for review purposes. hmm i’m digging this idea. 72 hours#is not very long and i doubt there would be lasting consequences so it seems like a good idea. however i’d want to do this when i have#things to keep me busy and restricted access to places to sleep. okay i must think on this further pay no mind to what i say unless u have#suggestions like how to keep yourself from giving in bc i always have difficulty w that one
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I was teaching Ophelia’s death scene this week and one of my classes spontaneously giggled when she died (because they are 16 years old and emotionally immature) and I said, in a shocked voice, “it is NOT funny” and they all insisted that it was and so I let it go but then the next day I showed them some Ophelia art, made them think about how sinister it was that her death happens offstage but is still described in such detail for the viewer, which tells us she was WATCHED but not HELPED as she died, and then played a clip from Branagh’s Hamlet of Kate Winslet singing a mourning song for her father and when I tell you how satisfying it was to hear a total and complete hush fall over the room
#teaching tag#Obviously I cannot control their emotions and I don’t try to. but I love to lay all the right groundwork for them to be moved#even if they don’t understand or forget it a second later#I can do that!!! let them have their moment of silly little reaction and then clear it away and make them look at the moment again#giving them all the context and support they need and don’t have on their own#and I have no idea if it works on a personal or individual level because it depends on what they let into their little hearts#but as a class i KNOW that it works. because of that signature hush#the same thing happened when I read the proposal scene from David Copperfield out loud#it’s happened with the end of the inferno. P&P Pemberley scene. teaching twelfth night#it’s my favorite thing to do in the entire world#to just sweep everything away and then re-build how to look at a scene#and the thing I LOVE about teaching high schoolers is that there’s the immaturity and the boredom etc. etc.#But underneath that there is a great stupidity ready to be taught#that is so much better than pretentious college age kids or hardened adults who already ‘know’ what it’s about#they have that grain of stupidity (more than a grain lol) that o’Connor talks about#that is the secret to letting things in#and I’m so passionate about showing them and I’m just getting better at clearing the ground and knowing what tools to show them when#and also —-this is A new thing I’m learning —-how to hold back my own emotions or reactions so as not to cloud it#whenever I start talking very matter-of-factly and very quickly and almost dispassionately about the structure of a moment#that’s so much better than me having the emotion because it gives THEM room to have the emotion#and that’s simply how they’re hooked#ANYWAY. as I said lots of thoughts thanks for listening wldkdkejejjejejejehe
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Knightfall in Dream Land - Page 4
Meta Knight shares what it was like to grow up being raised by Nightmare.
#Kirby#Kirby fanart#my art#comic#Meta Knight#Nightmare#sorry this page took me so long to finish I’ve been really busy with grad school stuff and was at a conference last month#but it’s finally here and page five shouldn’t take me as long to finish as this page did#the comic is mostly centered around the game lore and not the anime lore but I did borrow a little bit from the anime#this might be a dumb question but do any other Kirby fans have voice headcanons for the characters?#by voice headcanons I mean what do you think they’d sound like if they had voiced dialogue#for Meta Knight and Dedede I think they’d just sound like they do in the anime since those voices are so iconic lol#I know that Nightmare also speaks in the anime but I don’t really like his anime voice#I’m showing that I’m a Trekkie with this lmao but my voice headcanon for Nightmare is that he’d sound like Ricardo Montalban#Montalban died in 2009 but he was famous for playing Khan in Star Trek he was so good in that villain role#but that was in the 1960s and 1980s so if you aren’t a Star Trek fan you might not be familiar with him#he also plays the grandpa in Spy Kids though and I think he was also in Kim Possible#I actually see a lot of parallels between Kirby and Star Trek lol but maybe that’s just me and no one else sees it#I’m developing an idea for a Susie redemption arc comic that I want to draw when I finish Knightfall in Dream Land#and if I do eventually draw it it’s going to be very heavily influenced by Star Trek/there will be lots of Star Trek references in it#Planet Robobot as a game basically is just a Star Trek episode lmao it has the same plot as every Borg episode from Star Trek#so I think referencing Star Trek in a comic centered around Susie would make sense#Knightfall in Dream Land
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technically alan wake 2 final draft (spoilers ahead) is a Happy ending for the characters, but the spiral writers room video calling his enlightened self a possible demiurge or demon unsettled me far more than the original ending. that version, by his nature, already existing and overlapping with past loops, influencing and manipulating things without known reasons (to us and the Alan we play). it really makes that Alan out to be something else entirely through ascension and that this is inevitable. this could partially be because I kept seeing people say that the final draft was the happy end with a happy resolution for everyone, but I can’t stop thinking about what this means for Alan—and Alice!—going forward. That, along with the direct parallels to Yötön Yö playing out. It’s SO much to unpack
#final draft spoilers#alan wake 2 spoilers#alan wake 2#I’m repeating myself in my aw2 posts about the ending but I reeeeaally love the first ending#and I’ve come around to liking the final draft but trying to wrap my head around it#and would love to know if anyone has specific thoughts on the yötön yö callbacks or master of worlds/demon thing#I’ve seen some interpretations that alice literally is the bullet of light coexisting with alan. or that maybe he’ll become an antagonist#but idk if I agree with those. but there’s a lot that the final draft opens up#and it is a Little funny to me that it’s considered the more positive or conclusive ends#apart from Logan answering the call—everything else leaves far more to question#the first end is very ‘Alan is stuck in a spiral and needs to ascend w the help of saga and Alice’#but the final draft. all the worlds are Alan’s oyster. who is he and what will he do. i have no idea#and all the ascension and becoming something else while playing the roles of yötön yö still make the entire thing feel slightly off#in a way that’s good btw. i like that the final draft is less clear and not a generic happy end than I assumed from all the buzz around it#like maybe aw3 or control 2 will roll around and he’ll just be like Mr Door and he’s just more aware of his powers#but for now I enjoy the questionable aspects of this happy end for alan and alice#😃 <- me after discussing the endings of aw2 extensively over multiple posts#also feel like i should say that I don’t think alan will be. evil or anything#it’s just the aw2 of identity and change that fascinates me with what ascension means for alan :’)
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I work as the person in an amusement park who watches the children who get lost. Here’s some advice. This also applies to any mentally disabled adults that are under your care. Keep in mind that many places will not look for a minor ages 13-17 unless it is close to closing or they are disabled, as corporate considers it a strain on resources and employee use.
1. Teach them your phone number. Best gift you can give them. I’m not supposed to have my phone out at work but I can cut down dependent’s being-lost-time by probably 400% if I can contact you. It also assures the children That We Are Doing Something and that They Are Helpful and Smart. If your dependent has a poor memory, apparently writing your phone number in sharpie and then covering it in nail polish makes it stay all day, even if they’re sweaty or getting in the water. I haven’t tested this but I’ve heard a lot of moms recommend it. I’ve also seen bracelets with little plates or the beads saying the phone number.
Addendum: your dependent may tell you that they know your phone number, but they actually only know your passcode. True story. This summer has been a lot better, but last summer exactly one child the entire season knew his mom’s phone number.
2. Acknowledge that dependent’s memories are faulty, especially in new places. If you tell them to meet you in X spot or that your stuff is all in Y place, they may not remember where it is or remember how to get there.
3. All dependents, but especially little ones, have shit time sense. They might find your stuff, wait there for a minute or two, and truly believe that they’ve been there for an hour. Half the small kids that are brought to me are ones who *know* where their stuff is, but haven’t seen an adult they know personally in 5 minutes, so they’re going to panic.
4. Don’t take naps!!! And don’t let your dependent go anywhere you can’t go or at least go where you catch them at the end!!! Yes you’re staring at the play structure your dependent entered, but can you see them? No? Then there’s a good chance they went elsewhere. So many of the littler kids that are brought to me are brought by genuine, good-hearted strangers who see lost children and take them by the hand. Away from the spot you’re napping in front of/staring vaguely at.
5. This might just be something from my work, but we will not call dependent’s descriptions over the loudspeaker. This is because if an asshole were to see your dependent, hear the description, know it’s a lost dependent, and decide to steal it, they can then use the excuse, “I know where your guardian is! Come with me!” And then lead them out of the park or toss the dependent over their shoulder. Do you know how many crying and screaming dependents leave the location every day? A lot!!! We’re a fun location!!! We’re not going to know if the dependent is screaming because they don’t want to leave or if a stranger is taking them away. We might call the description over the loudspeaker if it’s past closing time and the dependent still isn’t found. But before that, we will only report it over secure radios across the park.
6. Tell a park worker right away. Preferably someone with a radio. Even if you spot the dependent within the next minute, that means the dependent will have less being-lost time. Especially if we already have the dependent with, you guessed it, me. Also please tell us when you find the dependent.
7. Take a picture of your depdendent at the start of the day! That way security guards can have a good idea of what to look for. One mother told me her daughter was blonde and showed me a picture. Her hair color looked brown to me, but then I knew what to look for in the crowd.
8. Keep at least one person in your group in one spot at all times, especially if you don’t have access to your phone or forgot to give out your phone number to the guards. That way they can find you if they pick up the dependent. If you are the only person in your group, then PLEASE stay in one place or at least stay with ONE security guard. It sucks for the dependent if they can’t find you right away even if the both of you are looking for each other and a guard is helping them. You are NOT helping if you panic and run around. And keep your goddamn phone on you and answer calls from unknown numbers!!!!! God. This is a good time to do that.
9. If you lose your dependent in an attraction like the lazy river at a water park, and you have that ONE person staying in place, then this is what you can do with 1+ mobile people.
A. If only one person can be spared to be mobile, have them pick a spot and stay right there, watching the river go by. Eventually, if the dependent is in the river, they’ll go by.
B. If you have two people that can be mobile, both start at the same place in the river and go opposite directions. If you meet up again without spotting the dependent, well, they’re not there.
C. If you have more than 2 people, you can do B but also station different adults at the lazy river entrances/exits.
10. Don’t blame the dependent! Even if they ran away and/or are pissy that you’re upset once you all reunite, trust me, there’s a 99% chance they’re upset too. Yes, this is a good time to have a serious conversation with them. Yes, if this is a repeated problem, and/or you warned them you’d leave the park if this occurred, you should not back down. But also - they’re dependents. They’re not stupid, and they should be told consequences and dangers so they can make good decisions, but they will never have the adult/guardian perspective that you do. Be kind.
Also please for my sake teach them if they’re brought to someone like me, that it’s THEIR job to be safe and listen to me while us park workers look for you. It’s YOUR job to find the dependent, not the dependent’s job to find you. I had a six year old little girl genuinely toddler-howl at me because she wanted to go look for her mom. I’ve never before heard a kid her age howl like that. I can trick kids out of crying 9/10 times but howling came as a surprise lmao. I think I can manage it now that I’ve experienced it but damn.
Also make sure those kids are DRINKING. Being in a water park is NOT the same as drinking water. They should be drinking every 15 minutes at LEAST, I am NOT kidding.
Also if I call you to tell you your kid is here, please don’t call or text me back after you have the kid. I’m sure other places have phones for these types of things but the only one I have is my personal phone. And I am happy to get the kid off my hands and into your arms, but I’m using my personal phone so plz. Don’t call me back. Absolutely call me if you need directions to my ‘office’ in the park. Don’t call or text me after. I have stories about that hoo boy but this post is already long.
#I am not exaggerating when I say howling#not in a wolf way more like a howler monkey if you have no idea what human toddler cries sound like#I like kids of all ages but there’s a reason why#I’m not going to teach elementary school#I am the person in the *place I work* where if a kid is lost#the staff brings the kid to me until the parents are found#so like. I’m never going to see these kids at their best#I wish I could just hug them but I’m barely allowed to hold their hand if I’m escorting them to get water#this time of year their emotions are heightened by the fact that they’re almost certainly dehydrated#but if they’re a flight risk I do NOT want to risk losing the kid#so I have to wait until#a coworker comes by to get them some water sometimes#the howler girl = this kid#this kid was reunited with her mom without too much time going by thank god#she was a huge fucking flight risk omg#she desperately wanted to go find her mom and I’m like#GIRL you are the lost six year old ITS YOUR MOM’S JOB TO FIND YOU!!! Your job is to stay safe!!!#and color this pretty picture oh god please look back at the coloring page instead of calling upon the hounds of hell#I like to assure every kid that is brought to me that#1. mom’s (or whoever) not going to leave without you (sometimes this is a lie judging from the parents.still very important to tell kids thi#2. they did the right thing asking for an adult’s help#3. as they are literally a kid it’s not their fault they’re lost (again a little debatable with the older kids but still they’re minors)(so#I tell them all this)#4. it’s their job to stay safe while we find your mom#5. now do you want some water?#it’s more obvious in the pale kids but I’ve had so many Black and Brown kids come up to me the last couple days looking positively pink#those kids needed water. so I try to get everyone water#it pisses off my coworkers but idgaf. everyone has a legal right to water in this state esp in the summer#and even if they didn’t#fuck you I’m stealing it. these kids need water
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let’s see if I’ll learn how to work out without my entire body feeling stiff and sore the next day
#personal#in the times i’ve tried to do it it’s always this that happens#i warm up and stretch beforehand and cool down after i have no idea what i’m doing wrong#but then again i know very little about fitness so#oh well
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i love love looooove doing whatever tf i want with structure in lay me down BEYOND belief. have just decided that chapter eleven is basically a romcom montage except it’s set in the evil apocalypse library and also there’s no romance and it also uhhhhhhh makes me want to cry ❤️
#was going over the outline i had for this chapter and realized that the only real ‘plot related’ events#happen at the very beginning and end of it. and i got SUPER bummed for a minute there bc i was like. well fuck#now i’ve gotta chop this up and put this stuff in other chapters and do some major restructuring and that SUCKS#then thought about what if i didn’t do that and also thought about all these little mircoscene ideas i keep having that don’t really#fit anywhere that keep ending up on a list in my notes app then a cartoon lightbulb clicked on over my head#and now the ‘heavy’ scenes (ig?) are separated with montage.#and listen. logically. LOGICALLY eye know that it would make more sense to do the restructuring and that my little anecdotes are NOT#reallyyyyy ‘necessary’ at all but i literally found a way to have my cake and eat it to do u really think i’d pass that up#ALSO those scenes are EXTREMELY necessary TO ME#and in the end that’s kinda all that matters god bless.#anyways writing is fun u guys it’s literally so much fun i’m so happy with how this worked out#and if u read through all these tags ilysm. mwah.#wip: ghost story
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