#i have too many opinions about this exact topic sorry

[discombobulatedshoe]

the biggest thing for me is the care factor. like the part where the book gives you a reason to care about the characters and what happens to them. in a fic, the care factor is in-built because other fans are coming to fic specifically because they already care very much. too often in fic-to-romance novel adaptations they don't spend enough time up front giving the reader a reason to care.

i think this is also partly a contributing factor to the jump cut effect. because it's in those moments between major events that you can put subtleties and nuance and quieter emotional beats that endear the characters and their relationship to the reader. (in fact, it's frequently these very moments that can spin off entire ships within fandoms). when we get to the big moments of a book, we should be going in to them already caring about the outcome of these major turning points. that's what gives those moments stakes. when you skip the care factor, these important moments feel soulless.

basically the affective reading experience of fic versus novels is just totally different. and i don't think publishers, authors and editors take that into account enough when turning a fic in to a traditionally published novel.

a fic is more like a continuation of a larger narrative -- or rather a continuation of a conversation about a larger narrative. because often fic is interacting with the discourses and culture of the fandom surrounding the source material, sometimes even more so than the source material itself. fic is inherently born out of fan communities, and the authorship and readership speak a common language with common references that are often only intelligible because of that shared community. not even just fandom-specific references like knowing popular head canons and characterisations, but also understandings of fic structures and archetypes and tropes (think coffee shop AUs, 5+1 fics, fix-it fics &c.) add to that AO3's tagging system and readers of fanfic actually go into the fic with a lot of established knowledge before they even get to the fic summary let alone the fic itself.

there's a lot of crossover with the romance genre (specifically around tropes) but it's still a totally different medium and community. part of the promise of a (good) romance novel, is that the author will give you a couple you care about and can root for, will craft a relationship journey with ups and downs that keeps you hooked, and will finally resolve the tension with a happy ending. but outside of that general promise, the specifics of setting implied by the subgenre (sci-fi, western, historical etc.), and whatever tropes are mentioned in the blurb and the marketing -- novel readers are going in with relatively little information about the story, characters and world. all of that has to be established in the text itself -- and frequently, in fic-to-novel adaptations, just isn't.

this is fix is much more involved than just Ctrl+F find and replacing all the character names, so it's probably why it's not done as much. especially if the publishers' perception of fic-to-novel adaptations when they sign them is that they're a fast and easy turn-around. they're very deeply not, or at least they shouldn't be if you want to do them well.

this comment on that vulture article about the "fanfic-to-romance novel pipeline" is very interesting and not something i've seen articulated...much to think about...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for taking part in testing a stranger a few years ago?

Sounds worse than it is but I just want to ask. Long story bear with me. Fake names, all of us were 19-21 when it happened.

I'm in a very close friend group where we all share multiple fandoms, went through all kinds of discourse hell and fandom drama together for years. We're closeknit and we only get closer with time. One of the pillars of this group is Pearl who I deeply admire. Pearl is popular because she has good meta analysis and she's a vocal progressive just like everyone else in the group. All of us are popular to some degree but she's the most eloquent among us.

A few years ago we were hosting a group chat session to discuss a new show, Pearl was the host and she posted the invite for anyone to join. A new account named Ruby who was following some members of our group for a while, joined the chat along with a some other unknown people and a few mutuals. The chat had about 20 people, don't remember the exact number. So it was Pearl, her friends including me, some mutuals, some new people- all from Sauce fandom.

We were really happy to see so many Sauce fans like the new show. We were having fun until Pearl brought up shipwar from Sauce fandom for the sake of a mutual who was out of the loop. It was a mayo/ketchup vs ketchup/mustard drama and we were fans of mayo/ketchup. We were all shitting on the delulu ketchup/mustard shippers when Ruby said she was one of them. Pearl immediately showed her shitty takes from mustard fans, screenshots of anon hate Pearl got and some other things I can't remember. She asked for Ruby's opinion on those.

I admit Pearl was a little bit condescending, but at that time I was too busy agreeing with her and laughing about mustard/ketchup shippers' idiocy. I was giving more examples to support Pearl in case Ruby decided to counter. Ruby on the other hand laughed and said she also thought those anons were obnoxious and said she was only a casual fan. Pearl said she was relieved because these days you can't trust mustard/ketchup shippers to be normal. We went back to the original topic.

That was over, but I kept an eye on Ruby and I remember she unfollowed Pearl after a few days. I brought it up later a couple times when new members of our group became mutuals with Ruby. And one of them was outright making fun of her for being a little simpleton but we grew up and had other things to talk about.

Then I saw Ruby left Sauce fandom for Fruits fandom where she became a little more popular for meta discussions. She's still friends with a couple people from my group who are casual fans of Fruits. She sometimes shows up on my dash for general fiction takes I agree with. All good. But yesterday I saw her talking to her friends about something friendship and virtue signalling related, she said it was weird how many times she's been "tested" by fellow fans including people who she knew for years, and she thought maybe it was because she came off as dumb and oblivious. She implied She never needed to test anyone.

Now I don't know about other times Ruby was tested but I remembered the story from above when I was one of the strangers testing her and I'm wondering if it was a bad thing to do? I can see why she thought it was maybe rude. But it is true that many shippers happen to have dumb takes and I'd rather not waste my time, rival shipper or not. It's not even a big deal.

So Was I the asshole?

PS thank you for reading the full story and sorry I will not say the real names of Sauce fandom or its ships, none of us go there anymore.

What are these acronyms?

[qqueenofhades]

Maybe this is a controversial opinion, but its one that I've been reminded of in the few weeks since things have escalated so severely in Israel and Palestine-- I feel like the pressure for random, average individuals online to be vocally political is not only entitled and uncomfortable, but also just an example of misplaced priority.

Like, I have people on twitter right now that are flat out saying if you don't talk extensively about I/P you're truly, irredeemably evil. I've had mutuals say that silence means you're complacent in genocide, that you have blood on your hands (exact words). But it just doesn't make sense? Most of the people who I've seen being flat out harassed for being silent are teenagers who don't have money to donate, working class folks who don't have time to spare, and normal people who just don't have enough of a following online to even spread any word effectively. Of course, the ones doing the harassing are also poor/busy/not-popular, but they don't see the irony. (I've also seen them say that talking about war constantly is taking a toll on their mental health, saying they've cried, had nightmares, panic attacks, etc...but they also say that taking a mental health break from social media is "selfish" and genocidal, so.)

The whole interaction leaves me with so many questions. If stepping away from social media because politics are stressing you out (which they are known to do), are you obligated to use social media? Do you have to use twitter to be a good person? What does that say about people who can't afford a phone, or live in a country where it isn't quite possible? (Are homeless folks inherently genocidal, or is that an "obvious" exception that was never clarified because no one uses nuance anymore?) If you have to talk about world events, lest you side with the oppressor, at what point is something so catastrophic you *must* talk about it? Is there a number of lives lost that is low enough you can get away with being quiet, and a certain amount too high that you're obligated to talk about it? Is it your duty to have the news on 24/7 to make sure you don't miss anything and catch all the global disasters as they happen? How much do you have to talk about something for it to be considered "enough"? Is there a quota??

It just feels like a lot of people are acting as if people who aren't chronically online aren't 1. doing any activism, because the only important activism is social media networking (sarcasm), or 2. are inherently bad people for *not* spending 6 hours a day on their phones. Like, I had someone I thought was a friend say I was a bad person because I was trying to cut down my social media usage, because the timing was "too convenient"... as if that's a normal thing to say to someone, ever. Sorry if I went on a little bit of a rant, it wasn't my intention. I dunno, maybe it's just me; I've seen a lot of people saying this sort of stuff so maybe they are the majority. It just feels really weird to let people that are addicted to social media take charge of who online is "good" or "bad" based off their internet usage. As if we were all catholics or something. If I were to say that current takes on morality were very catholic-seeming, would you know what I mean?

As recently noted, I am myself on an embargo from answering asks related to this topic. I will make one exception because this is important. Please note that any wank in replies or reblogs will be instantly blocked (and I won't hesitate to disable reblogs if necessary). I will not be answering follow-up asks or getting drawn into Discourse. I do not want to do it and it will not be happening.

I have said it before, but it bears saying again: thinking that the only way to Do Activism is to be constantly on social media and immersing yourself in terrible things nonstop and then posting the Most Correct Opinions (and then viciously attacking anyone who is even slightly Not As Correct as you) is absolutely bullshit. If you're engaging with this content so much that it's giving you a mental breakdown or otherwise plunging you into a spiral of anxiety that you take out on other people who are just as far removed from actually doing anything about it as you: why? Do you really think that you and you alone, one random person on the Internet, are the only way anyone else is going to find out about these things? Or do you think you have to perform the Most Correct Opinions nonstop, viciously harass anyone who isn't responding in exactly the same way, and this is the sum total of what your response should be? Especially in a situation as bloody and complicated as this, dealing with reams of religious, social, cultural, and political history where the average commentator on this conflict knows only what's been fed to them by propaganda on TikTok? How the fuck is that useful or constructive for anyone, aside from perpetuating the idea that you have to be angry all the time on social media about things you essentially know nothing about? I can't see that it does.

What's happening to the Gazans right now is no qualification or equivocation, a genocide. It should rightfully be opposed and called what it is. But unfortunately, I have spent too much time around Western Online Leftists to believe they actually care a whit about stopping genocide as a fundamental principle, and only want to be seen to loudly care about what their Ideology has told them to care about. If it means hand-waving aside genocide and atrocities when committed by their preferred polities, so be it. Why haven't these same people been wall-to-wall up in arms about what Russia has been doing in Ukraine, or for God's sake Syria for the past ten years, if they're really concerned about the rights of innocent Muslim civilians attacked by a far-right imperialist power? Why not the Uighurs in China? Why not [insert the blank] of all the terrible things happening in the world as a result of far-right fascist genocidal imperialism? Why only this conflict? Why now? Why does it involve so much excusing of terrorism as long as it's committed for the Right Ideology? Why are some of the most loudly pro-Palestinian accounts on here also the most rabidly pro-Russian? How does that make sense? To put it bluntly, those genocides are being committed by nation-states that Online Leftists like for being "anti-Western," and therefore their activities are actually fine and should even need to be defended.

My point is not to say that what's happening to the Palestinians is not bad. It is. It is awful and inexcusable. However, I seriously doubt the motives and morality of those who are being the loudest about screaming on social media and attacking everyone else for not instantly repeating their views. I seriously doubt that the Online Left actually opposes genocide and accelerationism as fundamental principles, because they proudly demonstrate every day that they don't. Until those vast factors can be dismantled and shown for what they are, and this can be placed into its larger context, I don't buy it and I don't believe this wall-to-wall social media outrage factory is actually aimed at helping the Gazans or anyone else suffering the most as a result of this. It is just to show that they can be counted on to Perform Outrage and harass anyone else who doesn't do the same, and that does nothing for anyone whatsoever.

[lemmetreatya]

Hey Mun! Not sure how many characters you take but can you do headcanons of turn ons and turn offs for Geto Gojo Toji and Nanami? Bless 🙏🏻

wgw1!! idk if this req was actually meant for me or nawt but why tf not!! lool lets get into it!

JJK MEN HEADCANONS: TURN ONS AND OFFS

ft. Geto, Gojo, Toji and Nanami (ft. Megumi)

contents: modern au, strong language, slight glimpses of gaslighting idk

Geto

Turn OFFs:

Dislikes strong smells!! deffo think he’d be one to faux gag if something even vaguely annoyed his senses (he can be so childish at times lol).

doesnt even have to be a bad smell, it could literally be perfume

He refuses to say its sensory overload, which you’d even be able to accustom and understand better, but no he literally just… doesn’t like it

“Eurk! Wha’ the fu’k?!”

Geto loudly makes a display of gaging as the two of you were sat on the train. With a face of surprise, you look at Geto with annoyance.

“Really?! In public?!” You hissed.

The man only held his nose as he sideeyes the lady that just passed him by. Subtly sniffing yourself, you scoff at Geto’s reaction.

“The perfume didn’t even smell that bad. It was kinda nice even.”

Geto disregarded your comment by making even a bigger heaving sound.

“It’s infiltrating my fucking nose, oh my god.

You had to look away with a sigh. He really could be dramatic sometimes.

He gets turned off when a significant other asks for his opinion and does the exact opposite. he says it’s a waste of his ‘sacred wisdom he chose to bestow upon you’

especially if its to make a decision they’ve been pondering on for time. if they do or pick the other option, he feels like his opinion is so bad that in giving the wrong answer, the person chose the right one !!

it gives him a very phat inferiority complex but he wont admit it so anytime he sees it he’s like RedFlagRedFlagRedFlag 😭😭

Turn ONs:

he gets turned on when a significant other plays with his ears.

its kinda weird because he’s very particular about who touches him and its a part of him that normally people would look at in wonder but not go out of their way to ask to touch because he’d probably say no

and in all honesty, he would dsodjsj but if you’re both laid up with each other and you subconsciously do it, he won’t complain

he secretly loves the stimulation of it

With his head laid up in your lap, Geto’s eyes were glued to the screen.

He was so adamant to watch this documentary and you had absolutely no interest or intention in watching it with him. Yet surprisingly, you found yourself rather interested in the topic of discussion and so ended up sitting with him.

Subconsciously, your hand stroked down from the crown of Geto’s head to the shell of his ears, your fingers aimlessly fiddling with the soft flesh.

Geto hadn’t voiced anything about it so you didn’t realise for awhile, but when you noticed it was his ears you were touching, you made a short ‘ooh’ sound before retracting your hand.

“What? What happened?” Geto used his arm to sit up and look back at you, eyes beady as he made sure everything was okay.

You quickly shook your head.

“No, its nothing. I just realised I was touching your ear and I didn’t mean to. Sorry.”

Rolling his eyes, Geto only lowered himself back onto your lap with a huff. He gingerly wormed himself back into a comfortable position as his eyes were already trained back onto the TV.

“I thought it was something serious.” He mumbles.

Oh he loves intelligent conversations — this doesn’t mean the content of the conversation has to be strictly complicated or about something big brained. it could simply be something you’re both passionate about and therefore can talk in great depth about

he loves being able to have bartering points and see different perspectives or discover new possibilities together with someone who knows what they’re talking about!!

Gojo

Turn OFFs:

Excessive swearing

Gojo’s own mouth isn’t the cleanest in the book, but he hates when there’s just too much bad language flying around

In his words: “It disturbs the Holy Spirit in me.”

“And I swear to God! If you ever touch my fucking wife ever again, I promise you I’ll fuck your shit up so bad, you’ll fucking wish you were pissing out your own’s mother’s cunt!”

You were practically on the edge of your seat at the confrontation scene that was going down. The movie had built the climax up so well, you couldn’t believe that this was how it turned out.

However, before you could see what happened next, the TV turned black and you were left with looking at your reflection within the screen.

“Wh—”

You turned round to see Gojo with the remote in his hand as he shook his head in fake solemn conviction.

“It’s just way too much foul language. How are you even watching this?” He sighed.

Leaning up from your seat, you grabbed the remote back from the man.

“Boy, JustGimmeThatShit.” You gave Gojo a stank face before turning the TV back on. Only this time, you lowered the volume.

Big turn off is when people are too much in his business — Which is real contradictory because Gojo’s the King of Tell Me The Drop, but he really believes that he’s superior in the sense that when he knows something, it’s because he rightfully should

Its kinda toxic tho because if you try and pry something out of Gojo because he may well be hiding something, he will vilify you for wanting to know shit from him

Turn ONs:

Kinda the opposite to Geto, but he loves strong smells (but only nice ones)

Use too much detergent in your clothes? Dont worry, Gojos inhaling the scent right tf out of it

New perfume? He notices right away and demands he get to smell all the areas you’ve used it

Cooking something zesty?! Gojo’s first in line to try it out (and sneaks nosefuls directly from the pot throughout the day)

“Gojo!”

Caught red handed, Gojo looked towards you like a deer caught in headlights, his eyes wide as he had the opened pot lid in his hands.

“I saw that!” You pointed.

Dropping the lid and quickly scrambling away from the crime scene, Gojo let out a high pitched cry. Walking over to the abandoned pot with a sigh, you placed the lid back on top to close it.

“We’ve spoken about this.” You say into the air.

You couldn’t see him but you heard the soft sound of pitiful shuffling from somewhere within the vicinity.

“I’m sorry…” You heard whine from a far away place. “It just smelt so good.”

He gets turned on from a good rub session.

It doesn’t even have to lead to sex, but Gojo just loves rubbing up on others and being rubbed on (permitted he likes the person)

Hes got langly arms so hes able to reach all parts of you regardless of your positions

Just being able to snuggle up with each other for hours on end is his thing; to the extent where you have to ask him if he needs to go toilet because he’d rather be busting to go than not suggle

Toji

Turn OFFs:

Things that take too long!!

Hes a very impatient man and wants everything instantly

you sometimes worry about doing things in public with him because his patience is vey minimal

“I’m not waiting any longer, gimme the car keys.”

You were just about getting the last of the items off the shopping list when Toji had popped up in front of you with a very constipated expression.

Sighing, you fling your head back in annoyance.

“I— TJ, just hold on! I only need to get the last of the stuff then we can go. Just queue up in line and by the time it’s our turn I’ll be back with the rest.”

“But I’ve been waiting for too long!”

“And I’ve only been gone for two seconds!” You say with open eyes.

Shrugging, Toji sorts his hands inside your pocket before pulling out the car keys.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m going back to the car.”

You couldn’t even stop him slugging off regarding your hands were full. Looking left and right, you called out to him.

“Wh—So where’s our shopping trolley?!”

Toji shrugs, his back towards you as he made his way towards the exit.

“In line.” He shouts back.

Nagging. This man absolutely hates when people nag him. It’s even more annoying because he will not get shit done on the first listen/ask so sometimes nagging is all you can do

He’ll literally switch off if he thinks you’re nagging him and it’s so jarring when he does because you could be telling him something so crucially important but because he was nagged an hour ago he’s not listening for shit

Turn ONs:

when you automatically co parent with him

now again, yes hes a bit of a lazy guy so any prospects of a potential babysitter guardian for his kids he’ll run at

but its that energy of treating his kids as your own (and no less to your other kids if you have any) that really turns him on

“Alright, ‘Gums, you know how this goes, right?”

The black haired boy nodded, a subtle smile on his face as he met you in the middle to shake hands.

“Of course. Win the match, or at least MVP, and then coerce dad into taking us out for a congratulatory meal.”

With a wide grin, you ruffled Megumi’s hair before patting him on the shoulders.

“That’s my boy. Now go get’em.” Surging him off onto the playing court, you gleamed upwards as you felt Toji come stand behind you.

“What’dyou tell ‘im?” He gruffly asks as he passes you your requested confectionery from the stand.

“Oh, nothing too much.” You grinned. “Just your usual pre-game encouragement!”

turned on by the exposure of flesh in subtle places

hes not talking barely no clothes (which he doesnt mind) or nakedness (which he even more doesnt mind) but when you wear an outfit that is supposed to be modest but theres a lil slip or cut in the cloth that shows just that sliver of innocent skin, hes bearing his teeth in glee

its the prospects that you could be showing a lot more or covering up way less but you choose to go sensible. yet that lil fun side to you still peaks out

Nanami

Turn OFFs:

overworkers

a bit canon yes but he hates when people dont know when to take a break. like my goodness its not everyday work yourself to the bone

hes very serious about holidays and clocking in overtime so the very scent of doing more than you should aggravates him.

“Where are you?”

Nanami’s voice over the receiver sounds plain but you can tell there’s a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“Hey Ken, I’m still at work. I’m just packing up now. You outside?” You say as you hold the phone between your ear and shoulders.

“It’s five past.” He grumbles.

Pausing in your tracks, you make a confused face.

“Yeah, and?”

“You should have been packed up ages ago.”

Noticing where he was coming from, you sighed loudly albeit with a smile tinted on your lips.

“I was just catching up with a colleague. Don’t worry, I’ll be right down.”

There was a slight pause, almost like a thought, before he spoke again.

“As long as you weren’t working past your finishing time—”

“Yes, of course! Never would I ever dare to work past clock-out!” You laugh as you make your way out of the office.

hes turned completely off when people have no regard for others

whether that be not tidying up after themselves or not being aware of their surroundings or even deciding to eat something shareable in the presence of others without othering

hes a very considerate man when it comes to these things and he genuinely hates when people are just really selfish with shit

Turn ONs:

Seduction

Seems quite vague because isn’t that how everyone’s caught?!

But no, someone having confidence to seduce him always works. It doesn’t mean he’ll always be receptive to it but simply having the guts to approach him will definitely have him thinking about it at night

As the music played throughout the apartment, you couldn’t help but dance playfully onto Nanami, backing up onto him as he stood rather distracted with the dishes.

“Versace on the floor, Ouuuh! Take it off for me, for me, for me, for me now girl!”

The man kept his head stoically focused on the dishes, trying his best to not engage with your antics.

“Come on, Ken, dance with me!”

You laid your hand out in his direction, beckoning him to your patronage. Nanami shook his head although he had a slight smile on his face.

“I’ve got to finish the dishes.” He excuses.

Leaning forwards to look at him, you lift your hand up to drag a smooth palm down his chest.

“Forget those for a second, handsome. They’ll always be here. Just come dance with me. for a bit.” You said in a sultry voice, you eyes hooded as you bit your bottom lip.

Nanami looks between the dishes and you three times before dutifully succumbing.

Cleanliness!!

Having a clean place, person and home is very important to Nanami! Even more when it comes to his significant other because he aint going down on nobody with glued shut booty flaked cheeks or poor grooming habits

but in general, just being graced with the cleanliness of others is his thing

[justanothersyscourse]

oh hi it’s -flower anon

I mostly was sending the asks in since I have moral OCD and the uncertainty and genuine horrible things I’ve seen very much conflict.

I’m only anti-endo due to the very, very cultish nature of a lot of it and have fallen for too many cults already.

(I was groomed into a online cannibalism gore cult at a very young age and still deal deal with the consequences of that, fell for way too many death cults, and almost was lost to way too many other hateful things)

so when the Moral OCD kicks in I trust it, it’s only lead me out of these bad situations.

I know my opinions are probably very uncommon, but too many cults and cultish mindsets I’ve fell for.

honest to god, I was at one point ready to kill myself because I thought overpopulation was real And those accelerationists got to me.

so for wholehearted honesty it’s too much for me, personally I believe fully in cultural and spiritual multiplicity.

But most endo/tulpa/willo spaces aren’t that, and that uncertainty of if- “is this person saying that ‘hey this is just a cultural and spiritual thing’ or is this person not any of those what are they I don’t wanna get into a covert cult again”

but as the current state of endo/willo/Tulsa spaces are, it’s so so cultish that it’s triggering me.

Everything sets off so many alarms in my brain that I trained myself to recognize,

so that’s why I was worrying and asking about it.

you’d too if you had fallen for so many dangerous cult stuff.

Too many death cults man, too many online death cults.

Hi flower ❤️ I hope you're doing okay. I've been sitting on this draft, debating if what I have to say would be helpful or damaging.

You came back, though, so I feel that I need to respond in some way... I'm going to be honest, I'm scared to make this post, this is a very polarized topic in the system community. But... maybe what I say can help someone.

I hope you'll read through to the end. No matter what, whether you disagree with me or not, I genuinely hope you're okay and that things get a bit easier for you. It probably doesn't help, but I know what you're feeling.

I have bad OCD myself. I'm lucky in that I don't struggle with that specific type anymore, but I feel for you 🫂

I'm also very sorry to hear about what you've been through ):

Before I talk, know that this response isn't to change your mind. My only goal is to try to help settle some of that stress.

I want you to feel less stressed by this entire thing. It's okay.

When I was still very heavily anti endo, I felt the exact same way. I'm not just saying that. I also run sysmedsaresexist, and I'm pretty sure I have posts calling the pro endo community "cult-ish" in nature. I probably did it a number of times. You're not alone in that view. I was worried that doctors were going to fall for it, that innocent people were getting dragged into believing they were systems, all of it. Been there, done that.

However, as I slowly moved from anti to critical, I realized BOTH sides display the EXACT same behaviors. The antis were just as bad, once I stepped back to look at it.

To the point that if you put the posts next to each other with identifying characteristics hidden, it could come from, and be about either side. Here's an example.

Either both sides are a cult, or cult is not an appropriate word to be using for syscourse.

It's the latter, I've learned over the years.

And once I got over myself and actually spoke with endo systems... I swear to you, I promise you, with every fiber of my being, that most of what you hear is fear mongering.

Most.

But the same can be said about anti endos. Endos are terrified of antis, but that's because they only hear other endos talking about their HORRIBLE experiences with antis. Some of it is true, most of it isn't, most is... more than a little bit exaggerated.

It just is. Endos think you, specifically you, flower anon, send death threats.

Do you? I'm willing to bet not, but you're lumped into that group whether you like it or not, whether it's true or not.

While syscourse can feel TERRIFYING, like life versus death (trust me, I know), I promise it's actually okay.

It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay.

The medical community is going to be okay. Your resources will be okay. The endos will be okay. The antis will be okay.

I am still actively involved in clinical circles, and I promise you, doctors know the difference between CDDs and plurality. Doctors ARE talking about endogenic systems, but try to give them a bit more credit.

Did you know that the multiple theory of self is as old as the ToSD? But it's a concept based in philosophy and the discussion of consciousness. These are two totally different things that are both valid. The issue is overlapping language. But if we're mad about "system" being shared, why aren't we more mad at IFS? Does "computer system" dehumanize CDD systems, too? That's dumb. No it doesn't.

Radqueers exist in every single community, and so do people who don't like radqueers. For every radqueer endo, there's another endo squinting hard at that and complaining to their friends. There are radqueer DID systems. They exist. It happens. It's like saying lesbians are bad because there's radfems and radqueers in that community, too. The intersection of multiplicity, sexuality and gender is VERY confusing, with more moving parts than you can count. Obviously there are going to be people with very wide and very narrow views about it.

(That said, I don't bother with radqueer stuff very much, I have NEVER participated in that discourse because I don't feel that I understand the nuance of it enough to have a fully informed view of it.

Wouldn't it be nice if more people could acknowledge that they don't understand things enough?

Anti endos, I'm looking at you)

Your ability to see cult tactics in things is something that has protected you, but that doesn't make it healthy. Do not try to overcome or change that part of you without the help of a specialist. That's not what I'm saying.

Seeing the world as dangerous, and signs of danger in the world, is what protects everyone, but for trauma affected people, this ability is broken. It's hyperactive. That's something that we all approach in therapy, eventually. You don't need to change right now, but one day you'll want to be able to see the good in things, and that takes so much more practice and guidance than you could imagine.

An easy way to start, though, is empathy and introspection-- not just into your self, but into your community. To recognize the double standards and be able to critically put aside those fears and concerns without someone else making the decision for you.

I can tell you that isolation is a major tactic used by cults, and it's the antis telling you to do that, isn't it? They say, don't even hear the other side out, I'll tell you what they're saying, and you can just believe me.

Isn't that what @number1-syscourse-blog was telling you to do? And it's only the pro side saying you can be friends with BOTH sides-- not just other pro endos, but telling you that it's okay to be friends with antis and pros. That it's healthy and good to surround yourself with differing opinions and form your own conclusions. I don't know if you can see the number of people telling number1 syscourse what a bad response that was. Not just me, SO MANY PEOPLE! They're all blocked and hidden now.

Because the full picture is a beautiful thing.

Making your own choices and drawing your own conclusions is a powerful thing.

And the picture is not as ugly or scary as number1 syscourse would have you believe.

My suggestion to you is to just... not talk syscourse with your friends. Just be friends. Talk about the dumbest shit and remember that you're both just human, trying to understand the world around you.

For fun, and to settle minds, let's go through, just to drive the point home. It's going under a cut, just in case, but be aware, I'm critically tearing apart both sides for being ridiculous.

Pros and antis, cult edition

Characteristics of a cult:

Absolute authoritarianism without accountability

Now, neither side has a leader, so to speak, but we can talk about how members of each community can say whatever they want without any accountability. We have people on both sides wishing death on the other, and no one is stepping in to say, "yo, wtf?" No, those posts are instead spread further by people reblogging their friends, because 🌈 brand loyalty 🌈 rather than any kind of critical thought.

Yes, both sides do this. No, that's not up for debate. It's happening. If you think it's not, you're either being willfully blind, or you've fallen into the isolation trap.

DNIs aren't shields against shitty behavior, just like free speech doesn't allow for hate speech, but people sure do love hiding behind DNIs. Like, they'll post a GOOD ask, with great points, and respond with a womp womp, can't you read my DNI, and it's like... maybe you should have read more than the first line, my dude. Free publicity for the other sides' ideals, because you literally can't be bothered to read anything.

Honesty, I think the block feature is the downfall of humanity. There are anti endo blogs posting misinformation on DID that can't be corrected because they've blocked everyone that knows more than them. I've tried to correct a lot of them, I'm blocked.

It's an echo chamber, much like how you view pro endo spaces.

Zero tolerance for criticism or questions

Come on, do I actually need to talk about this? See the DNI point again. Good asks with good points with a nonsense response because, OH GOD, anon dared to have a slightly different belief on something. Endo neutrals, people trying to ask questions and learn, aren't even allowed to interact with most blogs, even just for questions.

Lack of meaningful financial disclosure regarding budget

Another way that "cult" isn't an appropriate term, though we could talk about TPA here. I really, really don't like the TPA.

Unreasonable fears about the outside world that often involve evil conspiracies and persecutions

Hey, pot, meet kettle.

A belief that former followers are always wrong for leaving and there is never a legitimate reason for anyone else to leave

Hey, that's what happened to me when I left the anti side!

Abuse of members

Yeah, they abused me pretty bad for trying to correct misinformation on @antimisinfo's (an anti endo) post. People are constantly being ostracized and kicked out of their community for looking too hard at the other side. God forbid you hear them out, for curiosities sake.

Records, books, articles, or programs documenting the abuses of the leader or group

Not really?

Followers feeling they are never able to be “good enough”

Maybe if you squint?

A belief that the leader is right at all times

Who would the leader be? Science? Because science does support endos, and antis won't read a single word of it.

A belief that the leader is the exclusive means of knowing “truth” or giving validation

Again, if we call science the leader... but again, that only applies to antis.

The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s), and its members

I can see it, I guess. Mostly out of antis claiming the elite title for trauma.

The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society

Both sides have this problem.

The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members’ participating in behaviors or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before they joined the group

Again, see the point about friends reblogging other friends wishing death on the other side.

The leadership induces feelings of shame and/or guilt in order to influence and/or control members. Often, this is done through peer pressure and subtle forms of persuasion. Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members.

This would be like saying you're betraying your side for talking to the other side. Huh. Kind of like what happened to you.

Just because the word cult CAN be applied to things doesn't mean it should be. Especially in syscourse, where one side has such a dark history with cult activity, it feels very... inappropriate to call pro/antis in syscourse a cult.

Really, it's just a bunch of people screaming that they're more right than the other side, and using fear mongering to make points that don't actually matter.

[whimsikolya]

About Kevin and the dread powers

Just to clarify, this is a post about Welcome to Night Vale and The Magnus Archives because horror podcasts won't let me sleep.

I suffer from the same curse all TMA enthusiasts are well acquainted with, which is to say I've given up on trying to interact with any new piece of media without applying fear entities to everything and everyone involved. With this in mind, I've been asking myself for ages which fear Kevin would serve, and I've come to the conclusion that everyone's favorite prophet is a hundred percent an avatar of the Spiral. I don't usually share my thoughts with the class but I've only had a couple of hours of sleep last night and I've just seen a poll asking this exact question with very, very different results and... well, greetings everyone?

I'll start by saying that I absolutely get why people have completely different opinions on this, because at first glance this man and Desert Bluffs as a whole fit so many of the fears. And sure, the dread powers are colors, everyone is bound to blur a few lines. Kevin's lines are as boiled as a bowl of spaghetti though, we're not talking about blurry spots, there are leaks everywhere.

He's Spiral aligned, sure, but the omnipresence of gore and pain in Desert Bluffs is extremely Slaughter and Flesh coded, his Smiling God sometimes sounds like a manifestation of the Dark, and it's impossible to talk about Kevin without a few dozens mentions of cults and centipedes, so he's a pretty good candidate for the Corruption as well. And then, of course, we also have to talk about the blurry line between the Spiral and the Stranger, which makes it hard to see why he'd fit one more than the other. Conclusion: it's an absolute mess. I'm so sorry for how messy and long this post is inevitably going to be.

But hey, I'm doing my best to make sense here, so let's start by ruling out most of these options in a somewhat orderly fashion.

First of all, I'm automatically going to ignore the fears that didn't make an appearance in that little introduction. I can see the influence that the Beholding or the Buried might have on Kevin, but it's simply insignificant compared to the impact of the ones already mentioned. Again, colors and all that.

The Dark is easy to rule out too, but I couldn't ignore it when Kevin's eyes are black and It Devours describes the Smiling God as "that light that sometimes shines out of cupboards and basements, a cold light". But Mister Pitch already has his cult and I think there's too much focus on sunlight and not enough on what that darkness might hide to really go with it.

The Slaughter and the Flesh are harder to brush off, mostly because of, well, all the barbecue sauce. Violence and pain are, have been and will probably always be omnipresent in Kevin's life, and he's very likely a cannibal as well - with a morning routine that goes "burying what's left of breakfast". However, I think it would be too easy to stop at that. First of all, while the arrival of the boy in recent episodes proves that Kevin has always been somewhat open to violence and bloodshed, I'd argue a lot of it came from Strex. Triptych makes it clear that there was no issue with blood and viscera in Desert Bluffs before StrexCorp. And more importantly, hiding behind these fears specifically... the Spiral does that a lot. I completely believe Es Mentiras would've been equally as able to trigger the apocalypse as the Eye, because it has the same kind of special relationship with the rest of the dread powers, but that thought would be too long and too off topic. The point is, the Spiral served us the confession of a cannibalistic priest and a whole statement about a man forced to hurt himself via eating a computer. I'm really writing too much so long story short, I'd argue it really comes down to this: what's the end goal there? In the case of a Slaughter/Flesh avatar, it would be the gore/meat/pain/violence itself; to draw fear out of these things. For Strex and thus for Kevin, when violence and blood are gratuitous, the point is, most of the time, to keep people guessing. To instill doubt, to play with them. It's a "beat your employees to a pulp the day they start their new job to ensure their self-esteem and trust are never quite there" sort of violence. It's a "trick a whole society into thinking humanity is a food chain and they better bite before being bitten" sort of cannibalism. It's a different fear altogether, and so it doesn't fit either.

The Stranger and the Spiral are not always easy to differentiate, so I get the hesitation between the two. And yet I feel like it's pretty simple in the end. The Stranger, I Do Not Know You, is about concealing - thank you, Michael. It's hiding the truth and leaving you with nothing. The Spiral, It Is Not What It Is, is about lying, about twisting the truth so that you get it wrong. As much as I get the symbolism of masks and skins, and as much as they fit Kevin, he does not.. exactly hide anything. He never lies to Carlos about the blood in his studio, he doesn't hide how horrifying StrexCorp is - but he does say the truth with a big smile on his face and in his voice. He denies nothing, but he twists the reality of what happened to him, of who he is because of it. As the Archivist himself would say, he is the question "what hides behind a smile? Is a friendship true, or is it reaching with hands that cut you?" And you know who Kevin always calls a friend? His dear double, of course. He's once again clearly leaning towards the Spiral here.

The Corruption may just be the most tricky, if only because of the shared imagery. With the Smiling God being a giant centipede, and his little Temple of Joy hosting nothing less than a cult, it's hard not to entertain the possibility of Kevin turning to the Crawling Rot, willingly or not. He seems to have had toxic relationships with both family and friends all throughout his life, too, but he himself sounds like he's doing quite well with his new family. If anything, it means that he is/was a victim of the Corruption rather than a potential avatar to me. He may even have jumped off of his metaphorical tower Mike Crew style, right into the arms of the Spiral.

There would be plenty of examples, but to keep this sweet and short I'll focus on the main thing that the two entities share here, that is to say the cult/faith part. I'm a huge believer (ah) in the idea that the Spiral is equally as fond of religious devotion as the Corruption - not saying that they are the only ones, but they are the only ones that matter here. Father Burroughs and Bethany O'Connor, but also the statement giver of Sculptor's Tools who mentions going to church, are proof of this. Both entities target those who have faith to gain power through it, but again, not for the same reasons. The Corruption targets people whose beliefs betray a lack of and longing for connection to nature/others/etc, like Prentiss or the members of the Divine Chain. The Spiral targets people whose beliefs betray their guilt, doubts and insecurities - say a priest who couldn't save a young girl, or a woman who's quick to judge someone on his appearance. They prey on different concepts entirely and when it comes to Kevin and his faith in the Smiling God, I think it's pretty obvious which side he's leaning towards.

Now I'm aware this is a "why Kevin isn't aligned with this or that power" more than a true "why Kevin is Spiral aligned" rant. But this post is so long already that I'm going to stop here before I lose the rest of my sanity and bore all of us to death. I hope a number of points that connect him to Es Mentiras still shines through this whole thing, by contrast at least. I would also be very happy to write another post focusing on each and every single thing that makes Kevin an avatar of the Spiral to me, if anyone happened to be interested in that - and/or to discuss or argue this further, even though I doubt there's an audience for dreadfully long WTNV x TMA rants. But hey, if there is, you know where to find me. My opinion is probably completely off from someone else's perspective which is always fun. I'm just a dedicated listener with a ridiculously strong hyperfixation on both Kevin and the Spiral.

Going off the air until then. Until next time, Desert Bluffs. Until next time!

[wisyhana]

These are some pages that I made as fanart for a fanfic i Really Love. It's something rare that I look back and actually kinda liking the result- 😂 I've been trying to improve my panels flow(?)/pacing And the Lettering- adding words in comics is pretty hard 🥺 if you had some insights, pls let me know ❤ or just give me what you think... Thank you so much!!

Hi! Thank you for waiting this long hahaha

First of all I love your Yugi, is so freaking adorable, big fan over here aaaaaa.

And okay we're gonna talk about comics. Oh boy. It's not a topic I dont like talking but it's something I get way too.... intense, even if I feel I don't have much to defend with. Anyway I'll try to not be so detailed and serious about it so I can bring a decent commentary!

Disclaimer that I have a lot of issues with the use of thought bubbles, but that's a me thing. Myself I try to avoid them so I can focus on a "show more, talk less" type of flow. So if I start talking about them it's because of that, not that you'r doing a bad thing or anything.

I like how you use the panels, by themselves and ignoring the dialogues, they work perfectly fine! I think my thing with the pacing is that I'd draw a 3-4 pages comics instead of 2 for this scene alone. It's a pain I know, but I think for this type of scenario adding a little more of time could help to appreciate some details, like Kaiba being notoriously angry, the moment he touches Yugi's forehead, etc. But this is also a very personal opinion because I'm a sucker for very sloooow interactions, so all this I'm saying is for the sake of a slower pacing. Sadly you gotta draw more or write less if you want to get that effect, also you can get in a situation where things end up vague and ugh, what a pain hjdfhjhds.

I have a serious problem with dialogue bubbles, I never know where to put them Dx. I always feel they're on the way or that they hinder the reading or that they look straight up ugly hahahaha. I think you use a good space for them! they're not in the way of the faces or important scenes, but I can see you needed to add arrows for the conversation to work. In my opinion the dialogue works perfectly without the arrows. We all know there are two people talking so having only the faces on the bubbles was enough to understand who was talking and what order follow.

Now, if you want to work on bubbles without using the faces to show who's talking and don't lose the order in the way, I could recommend something like this:

Sorry if it looks way too clumsy! But a thing we artist have to deal is how the order of the bubbles affects on the flow of the dialogue. Specially when we don't have a specific way to show how the person talks (for example japaneses have many ways to show character's expression so it's easier for them to identify it.) So we need to focus on the flow.

A wonderful person who talks TONS of this matter is the motherfucker Scott McCoud!

This is just an example of how dialogues can contribute to the time and spaces and how the order affects the reading. This is not the exact example for what I mean but Scott is a badass of the comic and the complexity of it.

Understanding Comics The invisible Art is a masterpiece, I blame him for making me doubt is I'm doing a good job or not.

Okay before I go way too into this, one last thing and this is personal opinion. I love white background but you gotta be very careful to not make it look like lazyness. You don't need to draw a full background but maybe adding some shading can help to make the illusion of space rather than having a blank space. Of course this is just my opinion.

Anyway, I really like how you work! my huge recommendation would be to simply take your time on it, I feel it shows a bit of impatience or nerviousness, but that's just my idea. So far you're going a good way on creating comics and I'd love to see more of them :3

Hope this helped you in some way! And as always don't forget to have fun drawing your beautiful bois!

this is me everytime I draw comic and find a inconsistency.

[yarameijer]

heyaaaa, i'm a big fan of acidental reverse but that should be no surprise to you at this point, is too good, so good! i was so happy when i went to read on ff.net and found out there were more chapters to readthan on ao3 like "I'M NOT GONNA STARVE" anyway, i really wanted to ask what is your opinion on ships, i know is not the main focus of the story and honestly i dont mind there is any, is more out of curiosity since your other works dont really include ships and the closest i saw you get to the theme of two characters liking each other to that degree was in that one chapter were tenma said ''Repressed sexual tension much?!'' to shindou and tsurugi

also that single line broke me so much, it was like, 3:00 am when i read it and i had to muffle my laugh with the pillow so i wouldnt wake up the rest of the house, the way it got me gagged you are so amazing for that i swear-

anyway i'm writing more than i should, hope you are doing ok and once again, you did a fucking great job, that fanfic is sublime

Hello hello~~ haha, glad to hear you’re enjoying my stories, and sorry for almost making you wake up your family? Wasn’t the intention XD I have to say, this is an interesting ask, not one I was expecting! My opinion on ships…

Well, honestly? I don’t really care about them.

Nothing against people who like shipping (as long as they’re respectful about it), and if I read a story and there’s a good romance in it, I can certainly enjoy it! But I’ll likely never write it as something other than a background thing (mostly just canon relationships).

I think it’s overdone. That’s my biggest issue with it - fandom culture pushes romantic relationships to an extreme degree and downplays the importance of platonic relationships. There’s so many different types of love - between family, between friends, passionate love, playful love, sibling love, parent-child love, found family - and I’ve read far too many stories where the only thing that counts is romance, where all the characters need to be in a relationship, where the only thing that could make you ‘truly happy’ is being in a relationship, and that denies the importance of platonic relationships. The idea that the only thing that matters is romantic relationships is both ridiculous and incredibly toxic. Sometimes platonic love can be more meaningful than romantic love, depending on the situation. Sometimes, when people write two characters who have a meaningful (but canonically non-romantic) relationship as a couple, it takes away from the actual bond between them and downplay the trust and faith they have in one another due to relationship drama.

I guess the reason why I don’t write romance in my stories is because there’s already so, so many stories about that exact topic, and a severe lack of platonic love. I want to read about platonic love, so I write about platonic love. Simple as that.

Hope that answered your question! And no worries, your ask wasn't too long or anything, it was very fun to read :D

[anendoandfriendo]

Tw syscourse, no pressure to read or respond if you dont have the energy or just dont want to for any reason

You seem like the sys to ask about this, because i know youre a disordered endogenic system. Obviously a system that didnt form from trauma can experience trauma, and a system that wasnt always disordered can become disordered. I was wondering if in your opinion CDDs are always caused by trauma? Intuitively i feel like there are potentially non-trauma reasons to have a dissociative disorder, just like theres non-trauma reasons to have an anxiety disorder. Certainly if somesys ever told me they had a CDD for non-trauma reasons i would believe them, but i dont know if ive ever seen a system describe themselves that way. All the conflicting opinions ive been seeing in pro endo spaces is bringing the topic to mind

I mean, there are always exceptions to the rule, if that's what you're asking?

We're not sure if it's our plurality that's disordered though (we have definitely been back and forth about it however).

It's kind of the same logic of correlation here, like, unless it explicitly says trauma like in CPTSD and PTSD we see zero reason to see it as causative.

And even CPTSD and PTSD get fucky. Like, what about exomemories? Or like what about the fact they explicitly require trauma to be a that is directly in person regardless so even if you had the exact same synptoms they can just go "nope sorry baby you cant have PTSD" just like that if it was work related stress?? Like, we actually wonder how much of burnout is just PTSD but because "According to the current diagnostic criteria, assessment of PTSD symptoms is appropriate only if criterion A is met, i.e., the individual has had a qualifying exposure to a requisite trauma. Without this trauma exposure, psychiatric symptoms reported by an individual would not qualify as PTSD symptoms." yada yada yada.

(Also that comment "some trauma experts criticized criterion A in the DSM-IV as too inclusive" is really, really telling here. Is trauma only big things, or small things too??? Why draw the line here?? Is it possible the DSM itself is contributing to the stigma of its own disorders???)

So, going from there — if the only thing differentiating PTSD from burnout is literally about the immenancy of the threat you're forseeing ir experiencing, how is that any different from like. An endogenic CDD.

Psychiatrists aren't there to help you and the DSM is an insurance bible. Like. Just based off of that alone. So why the hell should we. Like. Gatekeep CDDs if even the most "basic" of diagnoses get so so much debate.

We should always let the person decide for themselves how to identify. 🙃

Sorry if this was all hard to read: we're literally going through a really bad burnout rn, without going into many details.

- Hailey (Admin)

[henshin-9]

Look, I yell that I hate the BT and DZ fandom (and honestly the Jrock fandom in general) a lot. Not everyone tho, my friends are BT and DZ fans, they are the evidence to me that not everyone is trash. And I have spoken to some people online that... well the chats die or we don't really get along too well but they weren't bad people at all, not getting along isn't enough for me to scream they suck cause sometimes stuff just doesn't work and that's fine.

I wanna explain what I mean when I yell about the trash of the fandom. I won't be giving names (except one), but I will be giving reasons.

We have:

Clowns who go "minors DNI" but will send and request nudes when in contact with 17 year olds AND UNDER or write insanely sexual stuff around them. (17 is still a minor, pedos, and everything under that age is even fucking worse)

People who claim Atsushi was abusive towards his cats cause the cat pics are "clearly" just for attention... like bruh, there are quite some cat pics, sure, especially of Tsubaki... but do you even realize for how many years this man had cats? Compared to those years, there aren't many pics at all... that is like just a few pics per year, probably not even once a month. If he wanted to "exploit his cats for attention" he would have made a social media where he would show content of his cats daily doing the weirdest shit with them. Did he? No. He wasn't abusive.

Fuckers that claim Atsushi was a predator, especially towards young girls... uhhuh, look idk if you've seen this man before but if he would go after anyone it'd be your grandparents.

We have some hypocrite clowns who will indirectly call your work or art trash or will otherwise offend you and then yeet a "lol" behind it.

Clowns without a personality who just copy whoever the fuck they last spoke to, different person every week the fucking mysteryboxes of the fandom and sadly they often copy someone from the rest of this list.

People who want to share content but if the content is already online, will bully the other uploader to take it down (have heard too many stories about this, too many people had it happen to them but haven't seen it myself. Yet, Ive heard it more than once so I believe it)

Ableists... yeah people, autism and ADHD really do exist, other mental illnesses can also make people be a bit weird sometimes, some of us are really struggling with it... it's not fake news -_-

Stalkers.

Art thiefs.

Hypocrites (will complain about what someone else did and then do the exact same like it isn't an issue anymore suddenly)

And as much as I want to avoid names... if I have to explain this one we'll be here for a month so uh... if I say "Gekka Reijin" most people will understand what I mean cause holy FUCK get professional help...

Like I am also not a fan of gatekeepers, people who are insanely quickly offended even if you didnt mean to offend them and they won't forgive it no matter what (like bruh I say sorry and didn't even mean it the way you all see it but whatever I guess. Why did this happen several times I am literally trying to be careful about what I say and how I say it. Idk what to do anymore about this), people who will fight you over having a different opinion and people that just suddenly ignore you while you don't even know wtf happened (like wtf just tell me what your problem is cause idk what I did)... but they aren't necessarily bad people, I just don't work with them but they are NOT what I mean when I'm bitching about the fandom... even tho I don't like em. It's the disgusting fuckers that I yell about.

Anyway my DMs are open ONLY to people who do NOT identify with this goddamn list. If you are like any part of the list, please do not speak to me.

Minors can talk to me but not about NSFW topics.

P.S. I'm also not a fan of the VK war fighters. BT is VK or BT isn't VK. Toll said they aren't VK but if someone wants to believe BT is VK then whatever... no need to start a whole war about it. Also other Jrock related social wars like just let people be... like you can yell about it, sure, but omg don't scream at people specifically and call them names just cause you don't agree with em.

[arvensimp]

Oh... Hi, is me again, I sent an ask about a delicate topic of a surgery not long ago... I was so hopeless when I sent the ask, and didn't think much of it, I was waiting for the third opinion of what to do with my current health state and the new doctor game me hope! We can't discard the surgery but overall is the last resource for him and wants to keep doing lab tests and such ;v; My idea still reminds of Arven looking after their special one in a delicate situation but... Well, wanted to share the news. Keep the awesome writing!

Hi there! I'm glad you've enjoyed my writing and am really sorry to hear about your situation!! I hope that things keep getting better as is possible and that your recovery is stress free and quick!!

I hope you enjoy how this is written; I don't know much about your specific case, but I can write from my own experience as someone who lives with several chronic illnesses. While I know this isn't the exact same as what you're going through, I hope it can speak some to your experience and give you some relief?

-

Arven x reader, no gendered pronouns used

--

Generally speaking, vows of staying together "in sickness and in health" usually wait until weddings. Of course, a good partner is one who acts on such a vow before it is ever made.

In the grand scheme of things, your suffering beforehand doesn't feel as important to you once a diagnosis and treatment plan are made and decided upon. Or maybe that's just a stress response? It's hard to say. While the suffering leaves its own unique scars upon your heart and body, visible or not, there's a sort of grief mixed with the relief in finally knowing what's wrong. It can almost feel like an admission of defeat.

The diagnosis and subsequent planning process almost seem like an anesthetic. Maybe that helps with the grief? You're not totally sure. There eventually comes a point where you more or less nod along with what the doctors have to say, trusting that they know what's best in your case. At least now they've put a name to the faceless evil that's been ravaging your body.

Arven does as best as he can to support you every step of the way. At many times, he's brought back to his memories of the time with Mabosstiff before the herba mystica. He never wants to feel that useless again for someone so dear, so he throws himself headfirst into what can do for your care.

If it's staying up late dealing with pain, he's there to wipe your tears and stay with you. If you need reminders of medications to take, he's got alarms set on his phone. Of course, he's also feeding you as much as he can as often as he can. It's his love language. If there are any special dietary concerns, he is more than on it and is in fact more than excited to learn how to make delicious foods for you within given parameters.

After all is said and done regarding your treatment plan, the two of you discuss the long term ramifications of what must happen; Arven mourns along with you for whatever losses have to be faced.

It's an inevitability that from time to time he gets a bit overbearing in his attempts to care for you, be it in monitoring what you eat too closely or trying to make decisions for you. Arven is the sort of man who has had such little control in his life until now that the urge to be in charge of it all can very easily overwhelm him. As frustrating as it is, he'll definitely back off when told to do so. He may be grumpy for a bit, but he can sort himself out. Apologies from him will usually come in the form of food prepared for you without asking or acts of services completely wordlessly.

At the end of the day, he just wants you to know that he's there, and he loves you no matter what, in sickness and health.

[lobotoboy]

Disclaimer: Spoilers for Danganronpa V3

So, I was talking with my IRL friend @multifanforever, who is to blame if I am found dead for this take, and she said for me to come on here and let myself rant about my deep, irrational hatred for one Danganronpa character in particular. And I understand that many of you will disagree with me, and might leak my IP address somewhere. (read in Byakuya voice) Pwease be niceies, I'm just a little guy.

Anyways MAKI

I have an irrational hatred of Maki Harukawa, and I don't know why. I think it's because she gives off the vibes of an edgy tween's Gacha Life OC. Maki is the epitome of people who's roleplaying bio says "Dark Fairy/Emotionless/Don't Touch My Tail" or whatever.

Even down to the color scheme. Tell me that when you were twelve, you didn't have an OC or self-insert or whatever with her exact color scheme. And the Ultimate just exudes Shadow the Hedgehog wannabe. "Ultimate Assassin" give me a BREAK! I think with other characters similar to Maki in some ways, they just do it better.

"Maki's a great support character!" Nuh uh, Kyoko and Chiaki.

"Maki has awesome character development!" Byakuya and Fuyuhiko.

"Maki's a girlboss because she's good with weaponry!" Peko, Mukuro, hell, I'd even say Sonia for her boss ass bazooka move in Danganronpa 2.5, even though it technically wasn't real.

"Maki has a good arc about emotions and caring about others!" I can't sit here and list everyone else who does that, but better.

Even if you like Maki BECAUSE of her edgelord qualities, I raise you Celestia Ludenberg, and one of my absolute FAVORITE Danganronpa characters, Izuru Kamukura. Stylistically similar, and yet I'd pick Celeste and Izzy over Maki ANY DAY.

Her whole "Do you wanna die?" thing also gets on my nerves. Then she'll go "Sorry, it's a habit." Girly, no. Not a fan.

Speaking of Celestia, some of her sprites are so reminiscent of Celeste, it's crazy.

Look me in my eyes and tell me these two sprites don't give off the same vibes. And on the topic of Maki's sprites, her HAIR has a mind of it's own. And that's to be expected in Danganronpa, after all, I don't complain when a protagonist's ahoge decides to droop or bunch up in a separate sprite, or when Junko's hair magically smoothes out or gets in a ponytail.

BUT SHE'S TESTING MY PATIENCE

THE CLAWED NAILS TOO? MISS GIRL'S GOT DEMOGORGON FINGERS! SHE WANTS TO BE MIKAN SO BAD WITH THAT HAIR, BUT MIKAN IS AMAZING.

And you're Maki Harukawa.

The problem is, I tried to like her. Really did, because I like almost all Danganronpa characters, but she kept turning me off of her. Her backstory, at first I was like "Oh no, poor Maki. I feel bad for her." And then she'll turn around and go "Yeah, I can use pretty much all weapons, like poison and knives and guns and crossbows and-" I DONT CARE

Or she'll have a funny line here and there, and I'll giggle. "Maybe she's not so bad" and then she'll say something dumb like "Do you wanna die?"

Shuichi doesn't help matters either when he describes her as being "quick as lightning" or like "a streak of shadow" when she does anything. Or when she manages to pickpocket Kokichi with no pre-established penchance for it. Kokichi can pick locks, he says it, he uses it, it's relevant. Maki can pick pockets for one scene because the plot calls for it.

Even my girl Tenko was like "Oh don't show me your death glare, it's scawwyyyy" Like. Girl.

And I simply refuse to call her Maki Roll. That whole moment at the end of Chapter 5, before Kaito got to blast off, that moment wanted to be the end of Danganronpa 2, Chapter 2, so bad. But I much prefer Fuyupeko than Maki and Kaito, who's ship name I have no clue about.

Anyways, I'm going to get rushed, but my friend now owes me fifty dollars.

I love ranting about Danganronpa, ask me my opinions on a character and I'll toss em at ya.

[wejustvibing]

Hello again!

Sorry for being in here so much! I wanted to ask your opinion on something about Lewis and his interactions with people he is interviewed by or who he meets for the first time. What i mean is, when Lewis met Takashi Murkami and he described him as a nugget of love or something of those words or when the Mercedes E Sports boys met Lewis and Marcel said meeting Lewis is like an experience you can’t put into words (again im not sure of his exact words) what do you think it is about Lewis that makes people feel that way? Because no offence, i don’t often see anyone else being spoken about in this manner, so I wonder what it is about Lewis that has people feeling this way. And in your opinion, why do you think, despite this, people still want to call his character into question and imply or blatantly say he is the opposite of what so many other people have said he is?

I also would like to ask, what are a couple of things about Lewis that you appreciate?

Have a good day!

hey you! sorry for getting to this so late. i needed a breather. yes!!! people's reaction to meeting him is my absolute favorite thing. the way murakami has described him is a masterpiece in itself. it's so overwhelmingly priceless. he must be magic, this guy <3

well i've never met him so it wouldn't be right for me to try and guess the feeling or vouch for any of these experiences. at least not without bringing out my inner parasocial crazies. but in my opinion, aside from the obvious personality and aura, he's highly intuitive and excellent at reading energies around him and more often than not he reflects them back, probably drawing people in. he's super respectful and attentive when they're engaging him which must be refreshing. also he never ever does what's expected of him—including expectations based on perceptions, media reports or hearsay that always paint him a certain way. it probably surprises them the most i guess?

i appreciate and love a whole lotta things about him but let me try and stick to the topic and context here. i love that he is compassionate and often tries to show it through actions. he will ask interviewers about their day or lives, in a curious yet respectful way. will try to make them feel comfortable by being calm and soft-spoken. will try to make time for fans and not just through sheer obligation. i like that he's intentional with every single thing he does in public eye. it comes from hard learned lessons i'm sure and must take a whole team of people to make it work so well. but i love it, especially when you know the level of unnecessary scrutiny he faces.

i love the fact that he's not perfect. don't think i'd be a fan if he was. as someone learning to live with maladaptive perfectionism i take solace sometimes knowing it's okay to be less than perfect and it's okay to learn and improve, it's okay to keep striving in ways that might never reach perfection. you're allowed to be wrong and you can always be/do better the next time. i love it when he's spontaneous, lets out normal human emotions and passionate reactions. i love that he's one petty mf if and when he decides to be. love that he's always curious and ready to learn. he's not afraid of expressing himself, being himself (anymore), i really admire that. he could have easily gotten jaded by now with the amount of success as well as negativity but instead he's elevated himself beyond both and has nurtured his heart to be the best version of himself and enjoy the journey he's on.

but, one thing that i love the most about him is how easy he makes everything look. if there's one thing about him it's that he is going to make everything look effortless—hard work, driving, winning, success, fashion, attitude, reaction to criticism & hate, and most of all living (and living rent free in so many heads). it's probably what pisses some people off too. must need heaps of discipline, focus and strength to achieve it. but he does it anyway and you have to appreciate that.

[stellar-constellations]

Important announcement

Stuff is highlighted pink to remind people that this is my opinion, and I'm not the voice for every writer out there, so don't freak out or anything; and don't spam hate for MY opinion.

I do feel like I need to address this, but I don't accept requests that have already been done by other people. I follow tags and see the same exact requests, copied and pasted, onto other blogs and I personally just feel that it's a little disrespectful to send a request to multiple different people for the same exact thing. I could just be sensitive, but I feel like there's no point writing it if it's already been done.

I understand the requestors could potentially be looking for different takes of the request, or they could just be spamming any account looking for anyone to take their request and complete it. I'm someone who writes for myself, and I like the requests and ideas my followers give me because they're special, unique, and not like any other requests; is what I wish for it to be like.

With the exact same requests and ideas circling around, it just feels like your writing is a bit downgraded. That anyone can do better; which I'm not saying I'm the best, but I like having my work acknowledged since I take the time out of my day to complete them. It feels like your work gets placed on the back burner of other writings pertaining the same exact request or very similar to. It just feels competitive; I'm not here for first prize or fame.

Everyone writes unique. I'm not saying that all zombie AU's are all the same requests with the same ideas and such; there's different executions and many different ideas that can turn that into your own special writing. I'm saying that the exact same requests like "Short woman with purple hair and yellow eyes meets (so-so) in a coffee shop and they get each others number and hang out at Hot Topic" (I just made that up at the top of my head, I'm not trying to target anyone); then seeing that exact request, word from word, on five other blogs, just feels like you wasted your time.

Perhaps I'm just asking too much considering this is the internet, people are going to do what they want. And I kind of see myself as being a bitch saying this because I KNOW I take forever to write, I know my writing is really long in word count and in posting, that I have no posting schedule or anything. I'm sorry for that, I really do wish I had more time in the day to focus on my hobbies and this blog; but you can't just ask to stop time and expect it to happen, now can you?

I understand you can become impatient with me, or change your mind about me writing; in that case, please just pop in my messages or inbox as an anon and say you want the request cancelled. You don't have to tell me that you're impatient or that you want someone else to do it; I won't shame you for it.

Thank you for reading. Let this be a reminder that I don't accept requests others have done. Remember, this is just my opinion and views on such topics. We don't live long enough to listen to bullshit or hate in the comments, so I'll just ignore your comment or delete it if someone is being rude because it's MY opinion, not yours. If you don't like my opinion, scroll.

This was also posted under my rules masterlist as a reminder.

[toastywatchesstevenuniverse]

S1 E40

On the Run

This episode broke me.

I am...

I....

I am a broken creature & my heart has been thoroughly stomped into the ground.

This is....this is the best episode so far....but it's achieved the status of best by absolutely tearing me apart in every way & leaving my emotions as a pile of tear soaked dust.

Okay before we get to that: I have one thing to say....

GARNET HAS MASSIVE AND PLENTIFUL BALLS. Look this post ended up being a lot more personal & emotional than this blog usually has been so I'm giving you a balls joke to balance it out. I have a feeling that there will be more emotional venting if this episode is an indicator of what the rest of the show is like: we're gonna need all the dick & ball jokes we can muster up.

First off: easily the best musical number in the show so far. Yes even better than Pearl's solo number. And I do not say that lightly. That is a tough level to beat. And they did it. Steven & Amethyst take the gold medal for best song so far. 👌

ALSO OH MY GOD THESEE SHOTS THESE COLOURS THIS DJFJFNDIFJW ITS SO FUCKING GOOD????????

WHY DID SO MANY PEOPLE ON YOUTUBE TELL ME THIS SHOW HAS BAD ANIMATION WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW?????? SURE THERES BEEN SOME WONKY DRAWINGS BUT MOST OF IT HAS BEEN VISUAL GOD TIER SHIT LIKE THIS. This episode was actually quite a step up in the animation compared to the previous ones. It's like the animators stepped on the gas here. I love it.

(Hey there uh so Trigger warning for this post just in case bc I do mention the topics of self harm/self hate/passive suic*de & that kinda stuff. So if that's not your thing, I'm really sorry & I understand if you wanna just stop reading here. If this isn't a topic you like to see mentioned at all, I'll just summarize my opinion here real quick & you can click away, I'm happy you're here at all btw thanks for reading this far!! & I want you to know you're valid for feeling this way btw: Don't let anyone tell you different. Anyways tldr I love this episode & how it tackles Amethysts character & it's the best episode so far & it made me cry really really bad & I am more of an emotional mess now than I usually am.)

So getting a bit personal here: I have said many times throughout my life that 'I never asked to be born'. I still think it now.

(Side Note but oh my god the animation in this fight was fucking incredible. Holy shit. And these shots go so fucking hard they COOKED this shit to perfection.)

Ive been depressed & passively suicidal for most of my life. I honestly cannot really recall a time where I didn't feel this way. I'm just kinda used to it by now I guess.

(This shot. This frame right here. This was when I had to pause the episode to calm down from how bad I was crying.)

So to hear Amethyst say the exact same thing that I have said so many times before: That broke me. That just fucking broke me. And like it's not the first time I cried at this show so far: BUT this IS the first time the show genuinely struck an such an extremely difficult & personal chord with me, not just like being sometihng I relate to, but the chord it struck was deep & painful enough that I had to actually pause the episode because of how much I needed to process it. Like I could not pay attention with how bad it made me break. So yeah it's now score 1 for the amount of times this show has fucking utterly destroyed me. Not every show is able to get me to react like THAT. The only other show in recent memory that got that reaction out of me that I can remember at the time of typing this is well, The Owl House. To be fair I haven't watched too too many new shows but yeah. This got me crying badly enough that I had to take a moment to calm down. Wasn't expecting to have that nerve struck like that.

That just hit on a personal chord for me & just....fuck man. I know that feeling. And they nailed how it feels. Amethysts reaction was exactly how it feels for me, just outwardly anger & tears. It hurts. Obviously anger & crying is simplifying it a lot, it's a lot more than just baseline that but you get what I mean. You could tell that she was feeling that exact way. & holy shit the fact that she's been the "comedic relief" of the gems so far & yet she's had easily the most fucked up & sad backstory of the show so far. Yeah if catching me off guard & completely blindsiding me with this was the goal: Goal fucking achieved because that was like a whack to my fucking face with a frying pan.

So....like, is this gonna be a reoccuring thing? I just.....get the feeling that this is a sign that the show absolutely fucking me up emotionally may become a more frequent thing going forward. So like, if that is the case......fuck. I'm so fucked. I am going to be a fucking wreck by the end of this show. This is gonna fucking leave me a sobbing mess, isn't it? What the fuck have I gotten myself into-

I am afraid. Also I am going to need to buy more tissues.

And the scene where Pearl & Amethyst speak in the hole is some of the best writing in any CN show. Ever.

(Also to break up the depressing talk, OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT PEARL IS SO FUCKING TALL THAT SHE HAS TO BEND DOWN AND SIT STANDING UP ON HER TIPPY TOES. THAT'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE I LOVE HER I AM GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT.)

This episode was absolutely perfect.

[rin-and-jade]

This question touches upon the notion of “traumagenic” and “endogenic”; as well as The Theory of Structural Dissociation. The Theory of Structural Dissociation seemingly supports endogenics as it states that there are “natural born” systems. They would be “endogenic” because they're not born from trauma, (as those who are “traumagenic” are).

I recently had a discussion with someone in a yt comment section about those two terms and they pointed me to you, so I just want to see what you think.

I believe in endogenic systems; because why would a book (the DSM) made by those who don't even experience plurality determine whether something exists or not? And as systems, those who are heavily categorized and misunderstood or looked down upon because they don't fit the singlet category, I feel as though we should embrace different forms of neurodiversity.

My questions are: what is the real line between "traumagenic" and "endogenic"? Are systems who were born as a system and weren't exasperated by trauma (like an endo) any less valid or real than those who were exasperated by trauma (traumagenic)? Or because of that theory, if that's how all systems work, aren't all systems "endogenic"?

Before reading: Long post. This purpose is to discuss and look at things in another pov, not intended to debate current beliefs/opinions. TLDR Provided. Last notes at bottom.

To clarify first, im in a neutral stance between the endo and traumagenic community as i focus more on the better of living for any kinds of plural people. Your question did seemed interesting and i had ever discussed this by myself on free time, so i do got some answers for you!

The line between these two are its origin and functionality, to put it in my opinion. The unique thing about plurality is that, i can totally see it being possible that it can exist outside of trauma.

Well, let me explain it to you like this:

An intact personality is where multiple facets are cohesive, and these facets that gives you that said personality is your identity. It's how you see yourself, and act like who you know. Basically, it's how you can act differently in different situations be it at school, at home, at somewhere else etc.

The thing about where personality is located in our brain has been a complex topic for scientists, if i remember correctly, there wasn't a specific spot for it as our brain has multiple areas with different functionality, and these regions cooperating creates a tangible output like how you react, or your typical behaviors.

I kept finding singlets discussing things that looks like really mild system things, and especially from this one youtube video (im so sorry i couldn't provide the link, it has been months ago i had watched but it discussing this too by a doctor or something. lmk if i have to find it again) quotes that the brain fools us into thinking theres only one 'kind' of us, not by it's exact words but close. These people can have different levels in terms of sense of personality unity btw, so not all singlets are the same either.

Now the origin and functionality for a traumagenic is different, because these states are being separated, and compartmentalized due to trauma. The presence of amnesia blocks the other side's of selves sometimes to severe degrees, now acting independently. There is also proof that the grey matter and the communication between regions are different, compared to a healthy brain (i can find the links for this too if needed). Well, you could read more about DID if needed.

So no, neither are less valid, but that doesn't mean both works the same or have the same processes either. Which means, not all systems are endogenic by origins.

Lastly, this is from what i had learnt and connect the dots over many sources i had read to ensure a wide perspective, nuanced understandings in topics. I am fully aware if some of you seem to disagree or see my views as wrong,, we have our own pov's ofcourse. i don't want to fight about validating my pov alright? Im also open to feedback/extra questions, im as well aware of the existence of fake/bad endos and do not support them.

TLDR: There are real life experiences and proof that supports the idea of being plural in mild/different ways, or ways that are different to traumagenics due to the complexity of the brain. Neither are the same in terms of how it functions and where it came from. Neither are also less valid.

- j