#i have to go get eggs so maybe the grocery store has some of those books

[threadmonster]

Sometimes my brain switches gears like "i don't want to read illustrated books, i want the word book!" But all the word books i want are checked out at my library with 8 weeks to several month wait times orz

[thatsdemko]

without you there’s nothing to live for - l.norris

masterlist

pairings: lando norris x fem!reader

warnings: jealousy + insecurities + fluff + build up(kinda long I’m sorry about that) + some errors here or there

a/n: while I had bits and pieces of this work in millions of other lando drafts I think I have to give credit where it’s due to @userlando and her anons ☺️🫶 I’m in such a shit mood so i figured posting this might make me feel better. enjoy xx

Lando Norris was annoying. a childhood friend of yours that somehow stuck throughout the years and never seemed to vanish. he was like a a piece of gum stuck to your shoe, he just never left.

and while you’re thankful he’s the longest lasting friendship you have; did you fail to mention he could be annoying?

his hands drum against the kitchen island, a distraction worthy of you flicking your pencil in his direction, but he’s too quick the pencil would just end up behind him, so you result in throwing him a very pointed look that shuts him up.

“is that pencil up your ass too today?”

you give him another look before staring down at the empty grocery list you failed to create, because lando has claimed your flat as his flat. the lavish lifestyle penthouse was abandoned at the instant call of your arrival to Monaco, and now all of his expensive taste clutters your space.

“did you put eggs on the list? I need eggs. it’s good protein—“ he shuts up to the sound of you breaking the pencil in half, another annoyed look tossed his way.

lando could be a lot. but there was no one who could keep up with you. there was no one like him in your corner, and while he pushed your buttons you were eternally grateful for his loyalty despite your rather jaded friendship.

“let’s just go to the store? I’ll drive.” he says like there’s another alternative to the store. ever since he got his license and moved in, you’ve never even put your foot on the accelerator. you’ve almost forgot the thrilling feeling of driving.

“eggs have been added to the list.” you finally say, typing up your notes of a grocery list once you were finally able to think straight without lando tapping away or chatting your ear off.

god was he annoying, but you loved him for him.

—

his wallet funds are bigger than what you have. you feel guilty every time he buys, but it’s not like you have the funds to do so. he knows that guilty look across your face when he ends up paying for 10% groceries and 90% female hygiene products. he doesn’t mind, just shoves his card in the machine and says a thank you for the person who bags your things.

“you have to let me pay you back—“

“no, nonsense.” he cuts you off, the conversation goes like it always does. you beg, and beg, to try and wiggle in a payback, but he refuses. all those years of your parents giving him shelter, taking him to races, or letting him play in your backyard it’s the least he could do.

“but the price adds up, and you’re paying for most of the rent—“

“I won’t have this conversation with you. just get in the car.” he says it without letting you have another word in. it’s his turn to shoot you down with pointed looks every time you try to mention money.

“y/n?! is that you?”

lando’s heart nearly drops to his stomach at the sound of that voice—that voice, being your ex boyfriend. he came out of nowhere, like the stalker he is, and finds himself walking around lando’s spiffy mclaren with wide eyes and confusion at your presence with the formula one driver. he must’ve forgotten lando was your best friend.

“you going to introduce me to your new boyfriend?”

before you can protest lando shakes his hand. you can tell by the grip lando has on him it’s a firm hard handshake. one to prove a point about the 2 a.m calls of you crying to your best friend from across the world. he was a shitty man, and maybe showing lando off like that would put him in his place.

“this is lando, you guys met awhile back.” you say.

you watch the two of their eyes glimmer in the sunlight with hatred for one another. lando was the guy you told him not to worry about— and he still was— and he was the guy lando was desperately wanting to kick ass.

“don’t remember that.”

“I actually remember, didn’t you spend half the night snogging another girl?” lando’s gentle reminder makes your ex’s face flush pale. you watch a little smile lift to lando’s lips before you both excuse yourselves to head home.

“my new boyfriend is so cool.” you say in a sarcastic tone once it’s just the two of you in his car.

lando let’s out laugh, and just puts the car in reverse. the simple act makes your head spin. his hand reaching behind the head of your seat, the way his eyes quickly glance on you before he looks back to ensure no one is coming. these thoughts were never present until this run in. would lando be a good boyfriend?

you can’t help but explore those thoughts in the twenty minute car ride home in pure silence.

your mind wanders to the idea of waking up to him in your bed. his legs tangled with yours, lazy soft kisses pressed your cheeks. you could melt at just the thought of it.

or maybe he’d make you eggs. you’d wake to the smell of bacon grease and him shirtless—like he always is in the kitchen— creating a masterpiece meal that you devour in minutes.

what switch has suddenly changed in you? because now when you look at lando, your heart does things it never did before. your head spins of ideas of him as your boyfriend and it’s so sickening you could throw up.

“I’m going to unload the groceries, you’re more than welcome to sit and stare into space for as much as you need.” his words spook you. a little yelp escaped your lips that he’d caught you. your eyes bug wide—like they always are when you get into your daydreams— and mind so full you lose track of time and often forget your surroundings. you had no clue you’d been sitting in the driveway this whole time.

“where do you want the tampons again? I seem to forget.”

“under the bathroom sink please.”

you wonder if you can shove your thoughts under there too. a nap is needed to clear your mind of whatever seems to be boggling it all about lando.

—

a nap certainly did help, however, waking up to lando shirtless in your bed also napping? yeah, all that hard work of suppressed thoughts came right back.

you think about taking your finger and running it all over the divots, curves, and muscles of his body. you think about how much stronger he’s been looking lately and how the little hair on his chin is growing onto you. what is going on with you?

it was common for lando to come in your room and sleep with you. nightmares were rare for you, but they happened more often than you expected and lando always wanted to be there for it. but this was just a nap? why did he have to come in and sleep with you? he could’ve just slept in his own bed, that certainly would’ve helped your heart if he did.

you roll out of bed and tip toe around your bed, until your heart makes you stop. you stare at his peaceful state. the way his curls fall over his forehead, the thick long lashes you desperately want, the soft smile on his lips— his eyes are opening, shit, you think to yourself.

you quickly book it out of the room to save yourself from the embarrassment of him catching you watching him sleep. what a creep you were becoming in the matter of hours. this is why you shouldn’t like your best friend. hell, this is why you shouldn’t let your man best friend live with you. it was destined for one of you to fall in love.

but it was also destined for you to most likely get your heart broken.

lando doesn’t date women like you. you’ve seen his roster of women rotating in and out of your place, none of them looked like you: an average woman with average looks. who’d want that?

a little part of hope lingers in your chest when you see him enter the kitchen. his lips press against your temple as he mumbles a good morning.

“how was your nap?”

“not long enough.” you admit watching him type away on his phone. his elbows are pressed against the granite counter tops, his fingers work vigorously against the screen. a little smile appears on his lips that make you nauseous. it could just be max, but it could be another girl.

almost two hours ago this wouldn’t of mattered to you. you wouldn’t of cared if lando invited a girl over and you stayed locked up in your room, but now all of a sudden it’s bothersome.

“what’s got you all smiley?” you ask, partially out of curiosity but partially to just kill your heart with his response. he sets his phone face down on the counter resting his chin in the palm of his hand, “max is coming over, and so is pietra.”

“exciting.” you grin, though the words disagree with your expression making his face drop with worry.

“are you worried max is going to take your best friend spot? he could never, y/n.”

best friend. yeah, that’s all you’ll ever be when girls like ria and pietra exist. deadly beauty that could put a man in his place. when was yours ever going to show up?

—

you’re tipsy off the expensive bottle of wine max brought. your body is pressed against lando’s for support as you all laugh about something max said. you can’t help but wrap your arms around his strong bicep, resting your head against his shoulder listening to pietra expose Max’s recent mess up.

lando doesn’t take notice in the way you’re seated. he knows you’re beside him based off the heat that radiates off your body. you always got overly warm when drunk, and sometimes a bit too affectionate, but he didn’t mind. he actually loved it when you wanted to be beside him.

“so when did this happen?” pietra points her finger between you two, a bright smile pressed against her lips as she cozies herself up to her own boyfriend.

lando clears his throat. he practically yanks his arm out of your grip leaving you to fall back against the cushions beside him. you hide your face into his back out of embarrassment suddenly becoming aware of how you two look. “oh umm—“

“oh gosh! I’m so sorry. I think it’s the wine talking in me.” she quickly apologizes, a blush filters her face similar to yours.

“it’s not the first time today that’s happened.”

“do tell,” max sits on the edge of his seat listening to lando explain the run in, your face is still pressed into his back. you’re hoping that maybe if you just stay there you would disappear into thin air or end up in your bedroom sound asleep away from all of this.

“I still want to kick that guys ass—“

“wait,” pietra cuts off max, her voice demands all the attention in the room. you pry your head from out of lando and peer behind him at her, “you didn’t even tell him you are just friends? you let him assume that you’re dating?”

lando’s mouth opens and closes. nothing seems to come out making max throw his head back in a laughing fit, “oh god! I owe ria money for this, you like y/n!”

Lando’s face is flushed red, a similar color to the glass of wine in his hands. there was nothing he could say. he couldn’t even protest it when it was true. he hadn’t even realized he never corrected your ex boyfriend, because truth be told, he wanted to be shown off as your boyfriend.

“come on pietra, let’s leave these two alone.”

they leave as quick as they came, leaving only the half full bottle of wine for yourselves. you both sit in silence, no one musters up the courage to speak.

you both get ready for bed like nothing happened. the awkward silence eats you up. you want to speak up and tell him you feel the same, you want things to go back to normal. you just want annoying lando back.

when you finally finish your nighttime regiment, you’re ready for bed. you turn the corner into your bedroom and see the silhouette of lando reflecting against the wall. your night light was on, and he was laying in your bed, cozied up under the covers.

“sleeping in here tonight?” you ask slipping under the covers beside him, he moves himself closer to you occupying the middle of the bed.

“you don’t mind, do you?”

you shake your head curling your body against his, “I like it when you sleep with me.” you say making a sense of pride soar through his chest. he likes the way your body molds against his.

“your new boyfriend will protect you.” he smiles down at you, carefully place a kiss to your forehead before reaching over and turning off your lamp.

“thank goodness he’s here, I can’t sleep without him.”

“you know I’m talking about myself right?” he lifts his neck up, face looking down at you, your eyes closed practically half asleep already.

“goodnight, boyfriend.”

“goodnight, girlfriend.”

tags: @oconso @xcicix @imsorare @weasleyswizardwheezes-blog @monzabee @lpab @frreyaa @motorsp0rt @lovelytsunoda @smoothopz

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[kremlin]

"This event ends the moment you write us a check, and it better not bounce, or you're a dead motherfucker" -- Big Bill Hell

There was a time when you'd see little old ladies paying for the groceries with a hand-written personal check, holding up the line, causing an immediately-forgiven slight sense of annoyance with those behind her. Buddy. Those days are over. They've been over. What, did you think you were going to just pop a couple extra zeroes on the end of your paycheck there? Maybe scan your paycheck, open it in photoshop, make a template, print em out all nice? You think you're the first to think of that, dipshit?

It takes the law a long time to catch up with the state of the art. You're reading this on the internet, which means you never use checks. The law has caught up. Your ass will be going to prison immediately and you will see zero return.

You can't even kite checks anymore, and hell, nobody under 40 will even know what that means, due to the blazing fast, two day settlement on all ACH transactions. Let me paint you a picture.

You get paid on Friday, but it is Monday, and bills are due on Tuesday. And you're broke: $0 in the bank. Goose egg. Pop open your checkbook, go to a store, "buy" some things, write a check for the amount. The cashier takes it!

Now take those things you "bought", across town, to another store location, and return them for cold hard cash. Sweet. Bills paid. Friday rolls around, and you just make it to the bank to deposit your paycheck before it closes. After the weekend, the checks you wrote finally post, and they don't bounce! You've kited a check. You've surreptitiously taken a zero-interest loan. And we know your broke ass. The interest rate on that short-term payday loan should have been straight up usurious. We're talking 29%. That makes predatory fuckers like us horny for sex. We're so mad. Now you are going to Federal Prison. For a good minute. Fuckface.

COST: $0.10 (With banks offering free checking accounts + Bic pen)

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor sleet, if you fuck with the mail, we'll rip your nuts off" -- Ronald Mail (Inventor of Mail)

Many people have this misnomer that the most powerful people in politics are democratically elected. The president, of the United States, of America, is a stupid cartoon hotdog. All of them, I don't care. Way less clout than you'd think. Brilliantly, it is the people that the hotdog president appoints who are actually doing anything significant. The director of the CIA. The fucking chairman of the Federal Reserve. Probably the, like, most senior, uh, general of the military, and shit too. I don't know, we don't "do" army here at Bloomberg. You probably don't even know their names! I don't! These are the ones you should be seeing in your sleep.

There's another position like that. Appointed directly by the hotdog. The Postmaster General. That's a real title. He's the CEO of the mail, and buddy, what he may lack in political power relative to the director of the CEO, he makes up in raw sexual energy. Total Tom Selleck energy. Like an airline pilot. We're talking Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I'm tentpoling in my black business slacks just writing this, and all my Bloomberg newsroom bros are peering over my shoulder and also tent-poling. We're not gay though, and especially me, I'm probably the least gay, but sometimes I just lay awake for hours at night what that mustache would feel like pressed against my lips, the unbelievable and utter, total sense of security I'd feel burying my head into his hard chest.

You get it. He's your dad. And if you fuck with the mail, you've fucked with the tools in your dad's garage. And dad's been drinking. You're in for it, bucko, you are in trouble. Do you think the United States Postal Service actually makes any money? Hell no. It costs like five bucks to mail a box basically anywhere I can think of and they give you the boxes for free. You can just walk in the post office and take them. I do that, and then just throw them away, I don't know why, some kind of compulsion. Being able to move shit around like this, quickly, cheaply -- Jesus H, I've got a huge amount of money in my bank account, probably tens of trillions of dollars (due to financial knowledge gained from reading Bloomberg articles) and I could probably mail every single person ever something and still come out in the black.

No way pal. They've thought of that already. The Postmaster General is going to know every time, and he's going to grab you by the shirt collar, wearing his cool as fuck hat, and you're going to get your pants pulled down, and your bare ass spanke...I need to go use the restroom real quick.

We rely on the mail system to get important shit done. It's not something to be taken lightly, and it isn't. Trust me. This is why, like almost every other person who receives mail in this year 2023, I just fucking put a wastebasket under my mail slot. I don't even shred that shit anymore. I just burn it. Takes less time.

COST: $0.63 (Postal stamp)

"Can call all you want, but there's no one home // And you're not gonna reach my telephone // Out in the club, and I'm sipping that bubb // And you're not gonna reach my telephone" -- Lady Gaga

I read something wild that the children of today do not know what a dial tone is, because of how fucked up and stupid they are. Isn't that super fucked up?

While it's not really our style, allow me to fill you in on some ancient, arcane knowledge about the telephone. You can turn it on, and then you can punch in numbers. Any numbers. Random ones, or maybe not random ones. If the ten numbers you punch in are the same as the numbers in someone else's telephone number, their phone will ring, and then you are talking to them. This is called "Phreaking".

Here's the kicker: You can tell that jackass anything you want. "Oh, Hi, Yes, I am Reginald Sumpter calling from Avalon Consulting LLC, we are just following up on the invoice we sent you. Please remit to ###### routing ###### account."

BOOM! Your name isn't Reginald whatever and that company doesn't exist, but you just received a deposit. It's fucking beautiful. What have you done wrong? It isn't your responsibility to handle who your business' clients/etc are, it's their's. If they want to just pay you money for no real reason, well, that's kind of on them, isn't it? I haven't stuck a pistol in your face and demanded everything in the register.

Well, it's too clever. It's too slick. This is the United States of America. It's one thing to commit a felony like armed robbery, it's another thing to piss off someone in charge of the accounting division who uses a special bathroom you need a key to get into.

You can do it on the computer too, I use a PC Computer at work and send email, so you can see how it'd work there. You can make a document that is indifferentiable from a real invoice and, straight up, 1/3 of the time they will pay that shit. Lmfao.

It's called wire fraud because, uhh, duhhhh, there's wires. What do you think that thing is strung between the telephone receiver and the dialer? And computers? Give me a break. There's so many wires with those.

COST: $0.25 (Coin for payphone)

"People calculate too much and think too little." -- Charlie Munger

It is insane how dumb the common man can be when it comes to our world of expertise. I hear this same sentiment, like, ALL THE TIME:

"Durr hurr I will buy an insurance policy for my car or house or whatever so that in case something happens to it I will get money". And then that same person proceeds to drive safely or not burn their house down. Dumbest crap imaginable.

Let me break it down for you. Insurance is a two player competitive game. There is a winner and there is a loser. Go take out an expensive insurance policy on your American sports car. Buy a neck brace, a football helmet, and pack that bitch with throw pillows. Then get in the left lane of a major highway at like noonish, let it rip and then SLAM on your brakes. Hit from behind! Your fault! Congratulations. You have won insurance. How this gets past people is beyond me.

You can only do this once or twice before the insurance companies catch on. Then they don't want to fuck with you. It is also..I don't know man...something feels off about taking a car or a house, which like, some guy had to build and just destroying it, but that is only a weird emotional thing, since you're making money, more than whatever the destroyed thing is worth, so in reality you've built that house plus some extra. You've contributed.

COST: $106.00 (Average monthly car insurance payment)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SUBSCRIBE TO MY WHATEVER FOR PART TWO, COMING SOON. i'll post it later today probably. whatever time frame will juice the numbers. have a sneaky peaky

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[hunnylagoon]

Candy

PT1: Sober to Death

Ellie Williams x Reader

I’m home and here to stay like a ghost to haunt. You can’t shake me off your back for I linger in your head like carelessly uttered curse. Summer falls to ashes in my mouth and so I will spit them into your urn, just like that all of my devotion turns violent.

Premise: After a mental break you are being held together by nothing but glitter glue and craft yarn. You seek refuge with an old friend in a coastal town to live the life you thought you left behind.

Warnings: SENSITIVE THEMES / reader is a recovered addict / mentions of drug and alcohol abuse / angst / brief mentions of violence / possibly triggering discussions of drug addiction

Read at your own discretion

Inside me, something seethes. Inside me, some feral animal has been forced into a cage where it thrashes and screams. Perhaps I will turn into a snarling wolf and rip out the throats of each girl who made me go home crying in middle school. Maybe I will don the pelt of a sheep and surprise all of those who convinced me it was a good idea to try ketamine when I shed my cloak and reveal my long curled claws and fangs sharp as knives.

I'm heartless at worst and helpless at best.

I don't know how else to be. I was raised like a stick of dynamite lit from both ends and I can describe in detail how the earth warps beneath my feet or how I watch the sky bend until it snaps and collapses onto a body too tired to lift it back up.

Everything miles ahead of what I was, to them, I was only ever an addict. Cursed with the nickname 'popper' since tenth grade and everyone thought it to be nothing more than a joke they didn't know how I found serenity in the tablet of acid that rested on my tongue. 

It started with pot and drinking on the weekends then flew into full-blown benders when I swallowed back synthetic sunshine like it was candy. None of my friends thought I would end up with my back plastered on my dorm floor, eyes wide with what once was a bottle of pills frothing out of my mouth. 

It took me two overdoses to get here, had to put my white blood cells to work.

"I didn't think you'd be up this early," Joel smiled at me, he was nursing a mug of coffee, a plate in front of him with a half-eaten piece of toast and a golden yoke running onto the porcelain. That might've been my favourite thing about the farm, fresh eggs. Once you have them you can never go back to the sad pale grocery store eggs.

"That makes two of us," I pulled out a chair from the wooden dining table and sat down. Joel had put so much love into this home. These days I’m too nauseous to eat breakfast.

"Ellie doesn't even wake up this early," He took a slug of his black coffee, the scent was strong, filling up the entire house, I could smell it the second I woke up. "How's the room? Is everything to your liking?"

I had felt so guilty for free-loading off Joel whom I hadn't seen since I was twelve, it had been eight years. He sent me cards on my birthday every year but I never was able to grasp how close our parents had been. I'm pretty sure I was friends with Ellie when I was little, there were pictures of the two of us hugging each other and playing beneath sprinklers, my front teeth missing, Ellie covered head to toe in Spider-Man band-aids. I didn't have any recollection of us when we were close, as we got older we got more stiff around each other. When my family would visit, she would hang out with her friends and I would keep to myself. Of course, my parents moved us to the city where everything hit me too hard all at once. "It's perfect, thank you."

"It's pretty hard to peel yourself off that mattress, huh?" Joel smiled at me, showing me every ounce of warmth he had when I was a child.

I nod in response "So much more comfortable than those stiff dorm mattresses," It almost felt like I was making conversation with a ghost.

"Since you're up so early, care for a tour while I do some chores?" He asked. I had been here a few days already, though I just kept to myself I didn't want to impose on his pleasant life with his daughter who hadn't called him at three am sobbing because she had too many opioids. I had wandered briefly around the farm of course and I had remembered bits and pieces of it from my childhood but I felt so out of place that I mainly locked myself inside of my temporary room and lived through my friend's Instagram stories.

"I'd love to," I smile politely, unsure of what else to do. 

 "Do you think you're gonna go back to school?" Joel asked as he stood up with his plate and mug in hand and began to wash them in the stainless steel sink. "No pressure, there's life outside of a lecture hall."

This was a question I had been thinking about day in and day out. I was a year and then some into getting my degree when my 'fun habits' began spiralling uncontrollably. My parents had managed to snag me a two-year deferral so I could go to rehab and go back to school the following year but I was so full of shame that I shook with the thought of going back. For the first time in my life, I am afraid I have no real desires. 

When I was dead inside a motel bathtub, I thought I needed to be somewhere different but now that I'm there, I need to be someone different too. "I'm not really sure right now, just please don't tell my parents I said that."

"Secrets safe with me," He opens a cabinet and pulls out a bag of cat food, shaking it until a scrawny calico cat appears out of thin air. Pepper happily devours the food Joel puts in her little bowl. I remembered Pepper, she was a kitten way back then and I would cut open socks to make clothes for her. "You should just know that it's never too late."

Very early in my life, it was too late. "Thanks, Joel," Not yet a corpse and still I rot like all of my ambitions turn to sludge at my tired feet.

He looks around, exhaling a deep breath, trying to scope out anything else he has to do in the kitchen. "You outta get geared up, I'm gonna wake up Ellie then me and you can get to work."

I nod in agreement even though I'm not sure what he means by 'gear up' so I figure that's just him saying to put on a hoodie and some rain boots. I stand awkwardly by the door, waiting for Joel. Absentmindedly I rock back and forth on my heels hands clasped together. I'm twenty years old but I feel like I'm twelve again, trying to find a place for myself in someone else's life. 

I thought of the last time I was in this house. I was twelve, unaware of the future that awaited me, I had buried a time capsule with Ellie and her cousins somewhere on this property. Writing to my future self, talking about all of the things I should be. If only she saw the brain-rotten zombie that was her destiny.

My parents had told everyone back home I was backpacking across Australia and taking a break from academics to see the world. In the eyes of those who knew me well and were more than aware of what happened, it was a shame to them that I had wasted a sharp brain and a pretty face. It takes a whole lot of strength the endure myself.

It doesn't take long for Joel to walk back down the creaky stairs, Ellie trailing behind him, sleep in her eyes. She's in boxers and one of Joel's old t-shirts, hair still messy and unbrushed. Ellie yawns and gives me a little wave- it wasn't really a wave, just her raising a hand in my direction as an acknowledgment. 

We hadn't spoken much since I got here, I had met her in the past but we didn't know each other. A lot can change in eight years. She wasn't unfriendly toward me, we indulged in small talk and laughed at each other's jokes but each conversation was so shallow I wanted to lay face down and drown in them. 

Ellie goes straight for the fridge, unlike her dad, she pours milk into a sickly sweet cereal which seems cavity-inducing. She was back from college for the summer, taking advantage of her father's love and food. Joel walked over to where I was standing at the door, slipping into his mucking boots. "While you're both here," He says before looking at me "How much do you know about boats?"

I furrow my eyebrows "A good bit I guess?" I answer, figuring he was just trying to rekindle a spark between Ellie and me that had been put out eight years ago by rain, ocean spray, and vodka.

"Y'know, Els," He gestures towards me "This one used to work at her parent's marina, they tell me she's done a couple of repairs and I bet she could give you some pointers on how to fix up that boat." I'm confused by his words, this is the first I've heard about a boat. Joel can see the uncertainty on my face "Her uncle gave her a piece of shit boat last summer before she went back to school, over the year I guess some teenagers thought it was a good hideout and trashed it even more."

"Seriously?" Her head pokes up "It would be great if you could come down with me later, she just needs a little love," Ellie spoons some cereal into her mouth. I had always thought it weird how people spoke about their boats like they were women, I even caught myself doing it on occasion. "Only if you want to, of course."

"Sure," I agree, no idea how much repair this boat was in need of "I've got nothing better to do."

I could tell Joel counted this as a win. I knew he had been commuting with my parents and how desperately they wanted me to keep myself occupied for the summer. "Well, we've got some work to do, kiddo."

After a solid five hours of following Joel around like a duckling and re-learning all the names of the animals, I was walking with Ellie toward her pickup truck. "Wanna drive?" She asks as we walk to the long beaten driveway

"Oh, I can't." The coolness of the morning has ebbed away into a borderline unbearable heat, I wasn't sure how Ellie was absolutely unfazed in her Jeans, T-shirt, and trucker hat. 

"You never got your licence?"

"No, it got taken away."

She cracks a grin "Jeez, what did you do? Hit a pedestrian?" Ellie teases.

"Something like that," Truthfully, my licence got revoked after I got a DUI and swerved my car off the highway, I was too high to realize the danger I was in and laughed the entire time warm blood pooled from a gash in my head that had to be stapled shut. Luckily my parents can throw money at anything and the problem will go away. 

She hops in the truck, there are little bits and pieces of it that show how it's lived in. A rubber duck with sunglasses sits on the dashboard and I'm partially surprised it hasn't melted in the sweltering heat. 

As beautiful and scenic as the drive down to the docks is, it's also extremely awkward, only on my end, Ellie seems completely unfazed. Travelling down the dirt roads until we finally hit the pavement. 

The salty breeze of Andromeda Cove carries conversations of clubbing and tanning, mingling with the sweet scent of coconut sunscreen and sea salt. Colourful beach umbrellas dot the shoreline. Seagulls glide effortlessly overhead, their calls blending seamlessly with the distant laughter of beachgoers. Quaint shops and cafes line the bustling boardwalk, offering an array of surfboards, souvenirs, and freshly caught seafood delicacies.

The Cove was immune to those gross and bland modern buildings that looked like something I would've made in Minecraft as a kid. Everything down here was local and kept its charm even after all these years. "Do you ever miss it here?" 

"I don't remember much of it to be honest."

"Really?" She asks, taking a turn down to the docks "It doesn't seem like it was that long ago."

"Yeah, my memory just isn't very good." My lungs are burnt and my brain is fried. You could tell me that I was in cheerleading for five years of my life and I would probably believe you. 

"Alright." 

I hadn't remembered her being this quiet but then again I don't remember much, I should probably write down everything I can before Alzheimer's sets in. There are lapses in my mind where memories should live, I recall my life through glimpses.

Ellie takes her keys out of the ignition and hops out of the truck, leading me down the docks. I keep guessing in my head which boat belongs to her and then the second I spot it, I know and how I dread. It's a sailboat or what's left of one, sharpie graffiti scribbled all around it. The word 'wanderlust' had once been titled along the side though the first half was scratched out by what I assume were those teenagers Joel mentioned so it just said 'lust'.

Ellie had no problem climbing aboard, I on the other hand had doubts that it could support the weight of two people, let alone itself. There were chips of white paint scraped off, Ellie motioned for me to get on deck  "How long has this been abandoned?"

She waves me off  "There's freedom that comes with abandonment."

I raise an eyebrow "Sinking in a boat that's docked is a very lame way to die."

"Nah," She says "We can haunt the marina."

She holds out her hand for me to take it and with hesitation, I do. Stepping over the gap between the dock and the boat, I haul myself over the rails. Even in the dark, I could make that climb, it was almost like muscle memory from working at my parents marina summer after summer. "She's a beauty, yeah? In her own special kind of way," Ellie pats the side of the companionway. "I actually made some progress on it last summer, if you can believe me."

"I don't know if I can," I look around, following her as we duck into the saloon.

She reaches for a notebook with a pink sharpie clipped onto it on the table of the saloon and turns to face me "Whoever was here must've been a real wordsmith, what I can't figure out is how the words got out of the notebook and onto my walls." 

I crawl onto the cushioned V-berth to get a better look at all of the writing on the walls. Most of it had been poetry, not Edgar Allen Poe but the kind that only an angsty teenage girl on the verge of a mental break could've written. 

The Statue of Juliette:

May I ask what you have done to women?

That your hands have only learned to harm one

Hand after filthy hand

Is dragged

Groped

Caressed

Prodded

Over my rusted skin

The things I have seen

The things I have endured

No water can clean me

No blanket can warm me

Take a hammer to my bronze flesh

And I will thank you for your kindness

As my body crumbles and clatters against cobblestone

I am eternally grateful

For this is the gentlest act I have ever faced

"I know," Ellie says, and I look back to meet her sharp gaze "A real Sylvia Plath.”

"Is this your candle?" I reach for it on the ground, it's halfway through its life. A vanilla bean bath and bodyworks candle.

She takes it from my hand and gives it a sniff "I was wondering why it smelled so good in here, I just thought that was you." She places the candle back onto the saloon table "So, Neptune's daughter, where should we start?"

I snatch the notebook from the table and flip it open to a page clean of any writing. It takes a little less than fifteen minutes to seek out all of the trouble spots. Ellie followed behind me and nodded to everything that I was saying. 

The boat isn't in nearly as bad of condition as I expected. I suspected that the teenagers who occupied it while Ellie was away at college had all been girls, they took relatively good care of the boat aside from the graffiti, allegedly most of the damage had been there when Ellie got it from Tommy a year ago.

We now sat next to each other in the booth around the saloon table, the ocean rocked the boat beneath us ever so gently, the same way a mother would rock her child's cradle. I missed the sea when I was in college, on a bender I had driven three hours just to be back with it, it seemed the only safe place to let go and be reborn. I liked the sharpness of the air, the vastness of the horizon and the mystery beneath it. I thought I would rise from the seafoam a new woman the same way Aphrodite did but no, I threw up on the sandy shores and called my parents to make it go away.

I give the notebook over to Ellie, a new entry written in bright pink Sharpie amongst the poetry and anecdotes. 

Wanderlust's issues:

Mainsail and jib seem sketchy; Unfold the hoist for a full assessment

Wiring issues are out of my hands but a probable concern-should probably call in an expert

Nav instruments are cracked

Leaks on starboard window, probs cracked moulding

Interior woodwork is original, mainly solid despite a bit of mildew

Graffiti and chipped paint, graffiti likely cleanable (May need a new coat of paint)

Possible rigging issues

Underside? That's a question for the experts

Final Verdict: Wanderlust is a seaworthy vessel in need of some love

Ellie lets out a low whistle "God, I love a girl who knows the difference between a mainsail and a jib." She cracks a mischievous grin.

"You're teetering very close between sexy and crass," I tease her in return.

She seems a little taken aback by my comment, like she hadn't anticipated a response but ignores it nonetheless "What would it take to make you my first mate?"

"I'm sorry?"

"For someone with a bad memory, you seem to know your boats, Joel said that you used to work on charters. You gotta know more about sailing than me. It'll be a fun summer project, get you out of the house a bit."

I furrow my eyebrows as I look at her "You want me to work on the boat with you?"

Ellie nodded. She didn't rush to fill the silence that stretched between us, she didn't bother to sweeten the deal or hunt for some reason I would like working with her. She just let it stand. I looked her in the eyes, trying to figure her out. She goes from being almost non-verbal with me and now she asks me to spend the summer on a boat with her. I wondered if she knew what she was doing at all and if I would be carrying her through this.

I had a feeling that Ellie would become my next bad habit. It's easy to get addicted when everything interests you and nothing satisfies you. "I'm in."

"You won't regret this," Ellie almost jumps up, I swear I could've seen her making calculations in her head "So, I'm thinking we get rid of all this junk and get a good look at it bare bones, make a list of supplies and give her the spa day shes in desperate need of."

On my second day as first mate, I had been scrubbing away inside of the saloon while Ellie did some work on the exterior, my Scrub Daddy was being put to work. By the time I even made a dent in all of the Sharpie poetry, it was nearly falling apart and begging to be killed.

When I emerged from the companionway to replace my filthy bucket of water I spotted Ellie chatting up a girl on a dock. She had long glossy black hair that cascaded down her back in strategic ringlets. "So you're gonna sail on this thing?"

"Rebuilding her first," Ellie tells her, leaning against the railing. The girl she's speaking to looks like she's freezing, denim shorts cropped high and a white tank top.

"Do you need help?" She smiles and even I'm seduced by it. She has tanned skin that she's clearly been working on and sunglasses pushing back the silky hair from her forehead. "I've been on boats, lots of times," Her arms are crossed over her chest. I can see goosebumps all over her legs from the chill brought to us by the gray sky above and the frigid air. 

"That so?" Ellie asks, rising to her full height. A wrench in hand, it looks like the beginning of a really bad movie, not a family-friendly one. She saw me then, standing behind her. I watched her facade drop. Her smile changed as I approached, turning from flirt to friend in two seconds.

"Oh, hey," The black-haired girl regards me like I'm some kind of threat. "So do you need help or what?" 

Ellie looks at me and then back to her "Thanks for the offer but we're all set."

"Do you maybe wanna grab lunch or something?" She completely ignores me.

Ellie shakes her head "We've got lots of work to do, but-" She takes a deliberate pause and I almost cringe "I'll probably be at the shipwreck later. Stop by if you're around."

"See ya'," She grins and takes the sunglasses off the top of her head, placing them on the nose bridge before walking back down the dock.

"Wow," I dump my bucket of water over the rail of the boat "Looks like super difficult work out here, you are so brave." Sarcasm drips from my tone "Without you, who will flirt with all of the hot girls at the marina?"

"No need to be jealous," She says "I'm spending every waking minute with you after all."

I gave her the evil eye but I truly wasn't jealous. I didn't chase the thrill of a fling or late nights with girls whom I would forget by morning. I had dropped that by college and replaced it with ketamine and opioids, I abused liquor like I was its two-faced love. Now the only thing I chased was calmness. 

I wasn't jealous, just briefly reminiscing over how carefree I used to be. 

The tide was rolling and the sky above us was gray and angry as if something was raging within it. "Shit," I mutter, waves shifting from a distant hiss to a closer hush. The air hung heavy, I hadn't even noticed the change in weather from what seemed like the century I spent scrubbing away in the saloon. 

Ellie must've noticed what I was. "So, I'm thinking we should go?"

"You think?" I retort.

Moments later we're packed and rushing down the dock to find her truck. It doesn't take long for rain to begin to splatter on the ground beneath us, it isn't light and gentle, it's harsh. It sounds like pebbles being tossed onto a sheet of glass.

By the time we reach the truck, I'm soaked, hair sticking to my forehead and neck "You didn't want to poke your head into the saloon and say 'Hey, it's looking like there's gonna be a storm'?" 

"I was a little preoccupied," Ellie isn't much better off than I am, she takes off the flannel she had on top of her tank top and tosses it into the backseat, her tattoo out on full display. The rain is so heavy that everything on the outside of her truck looks like a blur. 

"Can you even drive in this?"

"No, can you?"

"No, I told you I have a DUI," The second the words leave my mouth I regret the slip-up. My eyes go wide and a hand slaps over my mouth, I'm acting like I just told her I was the one who took out JFK.

"You didn't tell me that."

"Well," I look forward, ignoring her piercing gaze, "I thought I did."

If not for the rain outside that pounded against the glass as if it wanted to be let in, we would've sat in complete silence while we drowned beneath all of the words going unsaid. My mind begins to wonder, first I think of the black-haired girl at the docks; I hope she didn't get stuck outside in the rain, especially with her lack of clothing. Then I think about what Ellie's thinking, did she know already? Had Joel told her? I'm humiliated all over again like I'd been when the paramedics dragged my half-naked body out of a bathtub.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asks. I don't say anything and she takes this as a hint "We don't have to talk about it."

I'm beginning to grow comfortable with the silence. I almost preferred it to the back-and-forth banter Joel and Ellie constantly had, which was more so father and daughter teasing each other.

Joel had probably known more about me than I did, my parents liked to keep him filled in after all. They just loved to keep tabs on me, if it was legal I'm sure they would put cameras behind my retinas and watch my every move. Eight months ago when I was in rehab, that was the most peace I've ever felt. As much as my parents wanted me clean, they held resentment since I ruined my life and was destroying theirs by association. Joel didn't seem like the type to gossip to his daughter but it nagged at me regardless. "Did Joel tell you anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just-like," I search through my brain to find the words "Like what I've been up to?"

She shrugged "He just said you are on a deferral and need a break from the city."

"Okay," I say, my voice so quiet it was almost smothered by the obnoxious rain. 

"Are you hungry?"

We had thrown on two jackets Ellie had in the back seat of the cars. She offered me Joel's black raincoat while she humbly took the bright yellow rain poncho. It took everything in me not to laugh at her, she looked like Georgie.

Ellie slung one arm around me, we were both hunched over as we ran as fast as we could. She was shouting stuff at me but I couldn't hear her through the rain, I just nodded in agreement and hoped she hadn't said something awful.

She tugged me left, the deluge chasing us into Salty's for cover. It was nearly dead in there, two other tables, one was an elderly couple and the other was a group of girls, laughing like hyenas while one of them showed the others a picture on her phone.

Ellie wasted no time in taking off her poncho and I didn't blame her, no one wanted to be seen in that. The second we settled into a booth by the huge glass window which took up the entire storefront, an over-eager waiter came up. He was tall, had dark hair and had handsome features, he must've been bored with how slow it was in here. "Hey, Jesse," Ellie said "Can I have water and a big-buck burger?"

He nodded and swerved his body to look at me, "Alright and for you-" He looked up from his notepad and paused for a moment before a huge smile cracked on his face "I haven't seen you in so long!" 

"Hi," I smiled, my mouth hanging openly awkwardly as I tried to recall him.

"Do you remember me?" He asked, his hand dropping to his side "Jesse," He reminded "We used to go to school together."

I had no idea who he was "Oh my god, yes!" I say "I remember."

His smile grows "God, you look so different."

"You too," I gesture at him "You're way more-" My mind falls flat "Grown."

He nods along to my words "Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

Wanting this conversation as soon as possible I nod despite not even opening the menu “Yeah, I'll just get the, uh, big-buck and a club soda.” I repeated Ellie's order.

He jots it down onto his notepad "It'll be right up."

"Ellie, I don't know who that is," I say when I see him retreat to the server station to fill in the order. The entire restaurant is nautical-themed, the walls painted black, and there were nets with faux fish covering every square inch of the ceiling.

"Wow, I had no idea," She says, sarcastically "Damn, your memory really is fucked." 

Trust me, I know or at least I think I do. I disregard her comment "Water? Don't you wanna get rootbeer or something? Joel said you drink so much soda that your blood is made of corn syrup."

She grins "Gotta keep up the tough guy act."

Across the restaurant one of the girls waves to Ellie, this one has curly brown hair and a sundress "Hi, Ellie!"

Her eyebrows furrow "Hey there-um...you," Ellie said "Good to see you again."

The girl smiles slyly at Ellie before turning back to her friends. "Looks like I'm not the only one forgetting people, what's your excuse?"

"There's a lot of girls in the world, I can't remember all of their names."

"You must've gone through every girl in the cove, power to ya'," I say "No idea you had such a reputation."

"You don't know a lot about me."

I shrug "You know even less about me."

"I bet I could guess."

"Be my guest."

She leans back like she's carefully considering her next words, choosing them very wisely before she finally settles "You picked a major like communications and got bored quickly, decided you needed to do some soul searching. Probably read 'Eat, Prey, Love,' then went on a backpacking trip, expenses paid by your parents. Alternatively, you lived in a van and pretended to be a broke hippie."

I shook my head "Very cliche and you were only right about one thing."

"What?"

"I got bored quickly," The rain outside was failing to cease. Across from me, it looked like Ellie was calculating my every move. Her auburn hair was still wet, and from her hairline, a droplet of water dribbled down onto her button nose to rest on her cupid bow.

"Can I have a hint then?"

"No."

I see a realisation hit her "You partied with frat guys?"

I shook my head "I've always been too cool for them." I wasn't too cool for them, I was too fucked up to even know they were throwing a party until someone verbally informed me, by that point all I've ever done at a frat party was break in through a window and steal a keg like the disgusting fiend I was. It was nothing to be proud of, my friends thought it was hilarious and posted it on their Snapchat stories, egging me on and feeding into this sickening behaviour. What wasn't funny was how I got caught and winded up with a busted lip and broken rib. With pupils the size of my iris, I couldn't feel the pain I was in.

"Okay, now you have to tell me."

"I can't, I lose my mysterious allure."

The bell above the door chimes signalling the arrival of another customer and said customer makes a b-line for our table. She takes a seat next to Ellie "Jesse texted me that you were here.”

"Dina, were you at work?" Ellie furrows her eyebrows.

"Yeah, it's not like anyone's buying souvenirs right now and Jesse told me you finally came back," She whips her head to look over at me.

I genuinely remembered her, unlike Jesse. She had buried the time capsule with Ellie, her family and I. I also recalled how her older sister used to give us hand-me-down clothes. "Dina, hi."

She has freckles scattered across her face the same way that Ellie does. Her smile was so comforting, I forgot that I was soaked to my bones and shivering. "Well we should all do something together tonight," Dina grins "You're doing Ellie a huge favour by helping her fix that rig, she better give you some good head for it."

I almost choke on my saliva while Ellie just groans with disappointment like she had anticipated Dina saying something along those lines "D, you can't say that stuff around every girl I'm with, this is essentially my sister for the summer."

Dina raises her hands in defence "Sorry, my bad, I was unaware since you failed to mention that you have my old friend living with you." Ellie looks like she's going to say something but Dina speaks up again before she has the chance to "Let me give you my number."

Wordlessly, I hand my phone over to Dina who fills out her contact information and then gives my phone right back to me. I study Dina's face and her mannerisms, hoping that something might bring me back to my childhood which has been wiped away by every upper and downer you could put a name to. Something about her seemed familiar, maybe we had been closer friends than I thought.

I nod along to whatever she and Ellie are saying, chiming in random bits of dialogue but my mind is stuck on the two of them side by side. They're what I could've been if my family never moved us away and I hadn't turned my brain into sludge.

The life I could've had.

 Ellie smoked from what I knew, maybe Dina or Jesse were into something a little more hardcore. Hardcore? If hardcore qualifies as drowning in a concoction of cough syrup, Vicodin, codeine, and Gatorade to balance out the flavour of self-destruction. The bottles I swallowed to sleep, I showed up to almost every lecture high. Here I was handed what was nearly a good life and I tossed it away for something with a sweeter taste than a stable job and proper education.

The horrors I've committed. No good deed will ever outdo the bad that I have unleashed upon this godforsaken earth. From my clouded brain, paralyzing thoughts come to life to curse myself, the nightmare no mother would wish for her child to endure. 

Relapse after relapse, I would fall sick with the thought of how many times I had to relapse until I was finally clean and that bitter flavour washed from my mouth.

"Are you okay?" Dina asks with a smile and furrowed brows "We kind of lost you there."

It's one in the morning and I want to drink wine then slip beneath the rapid waters that will gladly pull me under and claim me as theirs.

Instead, I opt for a class of water. As Dina had said earlier, she wanted to get a bunch of friends together but the second we got home, I showered and locked myself away. Echoes of laughter and chatter drifted through my window.

I slip down the steps that lead to the kitchen. Outside the rain has finally dissipated and Ellie, Dina, Jesse, along with a handful of people I don't know crowd around a bonfire. The kitchen is illuminated only by moonlight, the moon hung over me as I poured myself water from the tap, a dead thing over a dying thing. 

I have seafoam in my veins and centuries-passed sunshine that induces my craving for some pills that will put me to sleep. Three months completely clean and yet that doesn't end the yearning for the drugs that comforted me more than any human ever had. 

The door cracks open and in comes Ellie, she's laughing and from the uncontrollable giggles, drowsy gaze, and slightly disoriented walking I can tell that she's been smoking. "Hey," She smiles at me, reaching passed me to grab a mug with Garfield on the front and fill it with water but she doesn't take a sip, she just sits it down on the counter behind us and stares at me.

Our faces only inches apart, I contemplate her next move. This close I can smell the marijuana on her and I almost want to scuttle upstairs and light a candle. Ellie hugs me, wrapping her arms around my midriff and letting her head find its resting place in the crook of my neck "Are you okay?"

"Mhm" She hums "I'm just glad you're here, whatever the circumstances are, I'm happy that you're helping me with the boat," I'm carrying almost her full way, and she's slouched against me "I love you man, I know you don't remember a lot from when we were kids but we had a lot of fun together."

"Thanks, Ellie," I give her a little pat on the back "That's really nice of you."

She peels herself away from me, using the counter to lean against instead. She looks me up and down, having an intense staring contest with my pyjamas "Do you wanna come out and smoke with everyone?" She's shed her tank top and thrown over a gray hoodie to shroud her from the oncoming cold.

I shake my head, no "I don't mess with that stuff."

"That's smart," She says "Have fun in your room, stowaway, I'll see you tomorrow to work on our boat," With that Ellie leaves without grabbing the Garfield mug she came in here for.

A/N: Hey, y’all. I’m aware I have a million open docs, I assure you they are all getting some love but I needed to come back to my roots and write some angst. These are some issues I have struggled with and I feel that it’s important to bring attention to it so it’s not taboo.

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 1

I'm awful at emotional speeches, but I just wanted to say... I'm very happy that I got to run this blog for such a long time. And I hope that there is still a lot of fun ahead of us. It feels very triumphant, to finally get to season 4 together with you all :)

"Let's kill Tot with Hammers" moment #1: This is an image Bonta of Dofus era, reused in Wakfu Season 4 to save money. Usually, Wakfu era Bonta is not white colored, and it does not have the same architecture that it had in Dofus era.

I do not know why they didn't just reuse images of Bonta from the OVAS, which are accurate to the Wakfu MMO and Wakfu Season 1 vision of Bonta.

"Let's kill Tot with Hammers" moment #2: Once again, this is just reusing the movie assets...

Also, the house has shifted positions. Did Kerubim, Atcham, and Joris move...? (I ask this despite knowing that the answer is "Ankama really dropped the ball with some of the animation and the sheer amount of asset reusage with this season, for some unknowable reason")

I am going to cry, he's so fucking funny... Save me. Shelter me.

This is Clown Olympics. I love you, Atcham and Kerubim. You are so right.

Literally they do not give a fuck. Is he implying Joris should go to the grocery store instead of staring at the evil, ominous eyes in the sky. Is he implying they should all eat dinner first and think about whatever the fuck is happening later.

I will be honest, I'm pretty sure they're like that because if they weren't, Joris would have a stress-induced heart attack. Joris can do all the worrying for the team. They don't need to feed into the worries of the guy who, at 7 years of age, convinced himself that Astrub was about to be overrun by zombies and nearly cried over a bottle-opener because of that.

Kerubim and Atcham really don't give a shit about little Jojo's opinions, huh.

He says something and the response is almost always "I'm not arguing with someone who is 70–90 years younger than me. Whatever u say gorgeous" and then go back to ignoring it. Insane.

[drooling at the thought of whatever Yugo does in the manga starting the Waven era and killing millions of people, which leads to Joris's (as well as Kerubim and Atcham's) military dictatorship in Bonta, and the way it truly underpins the character parallels between Joris and Yugo in a "child hero to antichrist type figure of ruin and death pipeline" way and the way they both demonstrate that road to hell is paved with good intentions] w-whaatever u say gorgeous. 🥴🤤

When I saw this the first time, I audibly groaned, and messaged my friends saying "I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING TRANSLATE THIS FONT AGAIN!! FUCK!!!!!"

...this says "Coqueline"

This is the Lorem Ipsum filler text. No cool easter eggs here.

This moment really touched me when I watched this season. Even with Joris, who is only six centuries old, you can see The Entropy begin to set in. Seeing cities built and rebuilt and destroyed and rebuilt. Seeing thousands of friends die, be born. Lose your entire family to time. And watch it be so eroded away by time that there is basically no proof of those loved ones, and the places you went to together, even existing.

I think it would be beautiful for someone immortal to know that somewhere out there, there's tangible and irrefutable proof of everything they have ever seen and experienced, including every single thing they love that is no more.

Oooor maybe I'm getting Ronik'y into it. I'm insane about immortality.

You get what you FUCKING DESERVE. ✌

[mirage-aera]

•°. *࿐ Expensive strawberries

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : She keeps me up - Nickelback

König x Reader

Synopsis: After going grocery shopping you decide to pump more air in the tires of König’s car. He appreciates it until you give him some shocking news.

Word count: 1.278

Masterlist

You open your fridge, frowning at the almost empty strawberries. You need to go grocery shopping anyway so this is a good excuse as any. You’re craving sweet strawberries and you’ll get them, no matter what. You quickly make a list of produce that you might need for this week. Thinking, if you go now, you might as well get all of the stuff that you might need, and perhaps some snacks for König as well. You check the clock hanging on the wall. It’s around 1 o’clock. You call out to König, who’s currently in the living room watching tv. “Hey Lieber? I’m going to the store. Do you need anything in particular?” You hear him get out, the cracking bones of his knees giving it away. You smile as his large frame enters the kitchen. He smiles at you, “maybe orange juice? We ran out yesterday.” He says sheepishly. You chuckle, you ought to buy a larger bottle of orange juice for your gentle giant. He drinks through them way too quickly. You nod, “sure thing, Lieber.” He wraps his large arms around you. Having to bend down to give your forehead a small smooch. “Danke, meine Taube.” You grin up at him, loving the small moment of serenity you have together.

Eventually, he lets you go so can go to the store. He heads back to the living room before he abruptly spins around to face you. “Do you want me to come with you?” He asks. You shake your head and gently push him back to the living room, “you go and relax. I’ll give you a call if I need anything.” He hesitates before nodding. You make a small list of all the things that you need to buy. You grab the car keys for his car. You love to drive his car whenever he’s home. It has that earthy scent of his that he carries around everywhere. It reminds you of home. “I’ll be back in a minute, Kö!” You let him know you're leaving. His reply melted you from the inside, “drive safely, Taube!” You chuckle before gently closing the door behind you.

You walk up to your car and get in, shoving the key into the ignition, starting the engine, and putting it out of park. You move the gear stick and drive off. While you’re driving you suddenly have an idea pop up into your head once you see that his car is low on fuel. You saw a couple of days ago a video of a harmless prank. You smirk. You’re going to recreate it but with König. Slowly you arrive at the store and pull up into a parking space. You shut everything off and head into the store. You look at your list, ‘strawberries, orange juice, eggs, chips for König, coffee, and canned soup.’ Should be easy enough, it’s only a few things. You head to the fresh aisle first. Grabbing a box of strawberries, the very thing you were craving all day. You grab some bananas for König, knowing he’d appreciate that. You head to the fridges to grab a bottle of orange juice. You grab it off of the shelf and put it in your basket. Next, you head to the eggs section. You grab a simple 10-pack. König likes to eat quite a bit of eggs so 10 should be enough for him. Next, you head to the snacks and coffee aisles. You grab the chips and coffee and put those in the basket as well. Now finally onto the last item on your list, the canned soup. You head to the canned products aisle and grab a can of chicken soup. It’ll be perfect if one of you gets sick. Easy on the stomach and easy to make. You head to the checkout after grabbing everything. You scan every item and pay for your groceries. You stuff them into a plastic bag and walk out, heading back to the car.

Now your plan can begin. You drive to the nearest gas station to fuel up. You see the gas station coming into sight. You slow down the car as you pull up. You stop the car at a pump. You walk out of the car and fill it with gas. Once it clicks, you stop and pay for the gas. Now, the car had a tire pressure alert on the dash a while ago. König simply didn’t deal with it yet. So while you’re here you’ll do it for him. You enter the car again and slowly roll it over the air pressure stations. You get out and pay a small amount for the machine to start. You fill up the tires with air. Once all tires are filled to their maximum capacity you head back into the car to go home. As you drive home you can’t help but smirk at the plan you’ve concocted up in your mind.

You pull up into your driveway and open the front door, groceries in hand. Once König hears the front door open, he hurries over to you and grabs the plastic bag from you. He puts it down on the kitchen counter as you follow him. You both put the groceries away together. Once that’s done you wash some strawberries as König pours himself a glass of orange juice. “Hey Lieber?” You call out his name. He hums in acknowledgment. “I refilled your tires for you today.” You bite back a laugh. He looks at you and puts his glass down, “oh, danke!” He smiles at you. You put a fake frown on your face, “they charged me 100 for it.” He nearly spits out his orange juice, “bitte?! You paid 100 for the tires?!” He asks in distress. You nod, “they said they originally charged 50 per tire but they gave me a discount.” You can see his eyes bulging. “Was?! They wanted you to pay 200?!” You nod again in mock confusion. He slams his palm to his forehead, “oh mein Gott. Taube, where did you refill the tires?” You think for a moment, “a repair shop, why?” He looks at you in disbelief “Taube, bitte. Are you really asking me why?” You nod again. He sighs, “they scammed you. You pay a few euros at most. 25 per tire is absurd and the fact they wanted to charge you 50 per tire is crazy. We’re going back, this is unacceptable. I’m having a word with those workers.” He says as he heads out to grab his jacket. You let out a small chuckle.

“Wait König!” You call out to him while trying to catch up to him. He whips around to face you, already pulling his jacket on. “Ja? Was ist los?” You let out a laugh. He looks at you with a confused expression. “Whatever could be so funny, Taube?” Your laughter dies down as he waits for your answer, “I was joking König. We do not need to go back. I refilled them at the gas station while I was fueling up your car.” He lets out a relieved sigh, “oh thank god. I felt like I was having a heart attack .” You chuckle, “I’m not that dumb, Lieber.” He laughs himself, “those would’ve been really expensive strawberries if you did pay 25 per tire.” He says as he snatches a strawberry from your hand and tosses it into his mouth. You frown at the missing strawberry, “hey! That was mine, go wash your own!” He chuckles as he walks back to the living room, “that was payback, meine Taube.” You groan in fake annoyance as his laughter rings through the house.

[vampiricpancake]

Ranking the Obey Me bedrooms based on looks and personal head canon! 

MC's Room

First of all I don't get why there's a whole dining table in my room what is the reason??? Second of all does this room even have windows?? It's always been a headcanon of mine that the light above the bed comes from an artificial skylight window to remind MC of the human world since the Devildom is in complete darkness. Props to whoever decorated though (probably Asmo) it looks really comfy and inviting. I give it an 8.5/10 because I'm paranoid bugs might be hiding in those plants.

Lucifer's room

Does he even have a mattress or is it one of those beds with the framing all around the sides and the mattress is fitting in the center? Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he just slept on a rock hard surface with how grumpy and tired he always is. Though imagine getting fucked by Lucifer and you turn your head and see that creepy skeleton looking at you the entire time. I feel like I wouldn't have a goodnight's sleep knowing that thing is facing me, I'd probably make Lucifer sleep on that side of the bed so he could hide it from my view 8/10

Mammon's Room

I hate everything about his room, it's way too big and it just looks cold and uninviting. Imagine all the fumes and smells you have to breathe in because of that damn car. Imagine how loud and echoey (is that a word?) it gets when you turn on the car and open the garage doors. It's a cool hang out/party spot but you'll never catch me sleeping here. 3/10

Levi's Room

HELL NO! I will not be sleeping here I'm literally terrified of most marine animals this is such a nightmare, I would feel so claustrophobic. Also this boy literally sleeps in a solid, stone cold bathtub. I would avoid this room as much as possible and only go in for manga and then run the fuck away 0/10

Satan's Room

I love and hate his room. The bed by the window is such a vibe... well it would be if there was at least some curtains. That purple couch looks so comfortable and cozy!! The only think that bugs me is that I am incredibly clumsy so I would be terrified even taking a step into his room since I might be crushed by a book avalanche! I feel like I would spend half of my time in there wincing in pain, stepping and bumping into the edges of the books. 6/10

Asmo's Room

His room is THE CUTEST!! The framing covering the bed?? the vanity?? the swinging egg chair?? Not to mention it's pink!!! only downside is once again all of those plants but I LOVE!! I just know Asmo picked silk bedsheets! 9/10

Beel and Belphie's Room

Maybe it's just the fact that I don't have any siblings but my room is my safe space so I would feel really uncomfortable sharing it with anyone. I really love the sun/moon parallel, and I love how cozy they're room looks. I imagine Belphie has a huge selection of pillows, blankets, and plushies to choose from. Now Beel on the other hand, I imagine his side is really messy, food crumbs everywhere, food wrappers, dirty cups and bowls everywhere, it looks a devastating hurricane decimated a grocery store. What does the staircase lead to?? it looks totally empty up there 5/10 (Beel's side) 8/10 Belphie's side)

Demon Lord's Castle Guest Bedroom

It's honestly really cute, the bed's look so lavish. I'm obsessed with he flower vase, might have to find some sort of replica online! Doesn't look like it has any windows though.... 4/10

Diavolo's Room

Obsessed, I feel like his room is smaller than the rooms at House of Lamentation which is funny because he's literally the future ruler of the Devildom so he should have a larger room. Not complaining though, I just know Barbatos makes sure the sheets are nice and fresh every night. I would sleep so well here! 8/10

Barbatos' room

Absolutely fucking not. Where is his bed? Does he just sleep on Diavolo's couch? Does sleep standing up? Does he sleep on the hard floor and use the bottom step as a pillow? Does he sleep AT ALL?? -100/10

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope to do a Mystic Messenger and an Ikemen Vampire one in the near future :)

Alsoooo, I decided not to do the Purgatory Hall rooms simply because they're dorm rooms so they all look the same and they probably aren't allowed to remodel them!

[ladylooch]

would love to read anything about Nico <33 I loveee the blurbs you’ve done w him already so similar vibes to those maybe??

thank you x

A/N: Thank you for asking for more of this! It has been a stressful first week of playoffs, so let's end it with some softness from What my World Spins Around AU. I know I posted for this AU earlier today, but I just really love these two. Thank you for encouraging me to write them.

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: Swearing, tears/angst, fluff.

I’m having a bad day.

A few minor disturbances happened earlier like half the grocery list being out of stock and having to make an extra trip to a different store. Then I needed to stop and get gas. I pulled up to an unmarked, broken pump, having to circle around multiple times to wait for a new one. On my way up to our apartment, one of the grocery bag handles broke and smashed our eggs into the elevator floor. None of these things are big problems, but enough little things have compounded into me feeling like I am inept at existing.

This is awful timing, I think as I stir the onions and garlic in pancetta fat. I’m making Cacio e Pepe for dinner tonight. Because I am desperate for comfort food and Nico is in-between games.

Of course this would happen in the middle of the Devils playoff series with the Rangers when Nico is so focused on hockey that I only exist when I speak directly to him. I glance over my shoulder at my fiancé. His eyebrows are drawn low while he looks at his iPad stacked with clips from the Rangers Power Play. I sniff a bit, wiping at my runny nose from the few tears that have sporadically leaked out while I’ve been at the stove. This catches Nico’s attention.

“Are you okay, babe?” He asks, pausing his video and drilling his brown eyes into me.

“Yeah, the onions made my eyes water.” I lie. These are small problems that I’m not going to bother him with.

“You need those goggles.” He jokes, starting the video up again. The lack of interaction makes my body sag glumly. I feel invisible to him.

I toss the cheese, pasta lemon juice and pasta water together. The dish comes together quickly. A few spritz of seasonings has us sitting down to eat within ten minutes. I grab my glass of red wine, sucking down two glugs of it before slowly twirling my pasta onto my fork. Nico has already been eating, watching the Carolina and Islanders game play out in the living room. I’m scrolling through Instagram, looking for something funny to lift this dark cloud.

“This is amazing, baby. Thank you.” Nico murmurs, running his tongue along the inside of his bottom lip. An insurance commercial plays out on the screen, so I’m getting his undivided attention.

“I’m glad you like it.” I respond, not looking up at him, but turning the app off to focus on dinner.

Nico stills with his fork close to his mouth, reading me like an open book. When I don’t meet his gaze, his fork continues to his lips. He chews slowly, then slides his bowl to the side. His hand comes across the counter, stilling mine from nudging my pasta around. 

“What’s up?” I shake my head. “No. What’s up.”

“It’s stupid.” I huff.

“I doubt that.”

“I’m just having a bad day.” I push out. My lip wobbles weakly, so I tuck it into my mouth and bite down hard.

“Were those real tears, not onion tears?” I nod my head as one spills from my lashes. “Sweets.” He sighs, scooting his chair closer to me. He encloses me in a warm, soft embrace. His designer sweatshirt is a thick, comfy fabric that brushes welcomingly against my skin. I slide my hands up his thighs to his back, clinging to him. 

I feel so dumb and dramatic. Nothing bad has even happened. Why do I feel this way?

“Will you talk to me?” He asks against my hair, breath tickling my scalp.

“There really isn’t anything to talk about.” I sniff, weaving my hand between our bodies to wipe at my eyes. 

“You’re crying.” He points out simply.

“I’m just being dramatic.”

“You’re rarely like this.” He shakes his head, pulling back to see my face. His thumb and pointer finger tilt my chin up.

“I don’t want to be a distraction to you. You have more important things to focus on than me.”

“What’s more important to me than you?” His hand sneaks beneath the hem of my t-shirt and rubs along the length of my spine. I say nothing, just stare at him with my red, tear-rimmed eyes. I shake my head. “Yeah, nothing.” He knows that’s not what I meant. “Come here.” His hands work themselves under my thighs to move me into his lap. I look down into his face. I raise my fingers to trace along his nose and cheek bones, purposefully avoiding those dewey brown eyes. “Baby.” He finally tires of my avoidance.

“I think I just miss you.” I finally bubble out, tucking my falling hair behind my ear.

“I’m right here.”

“You know you’re not.” He pauses, staring back at me with measured eyes. “It’s fine.” I try to walk it back. “I’m marrying the captain; I know what I signed up for.” My fingers reach out and fiddle with the strings of his hoodie, hanging down his chest. “I think I just want to go to bed.” Nico says nothing. He lets me crawl off his lap, hands falling to hang by his sides. I grab my phone, leaving my dishes and untouched food on the counter. I can feel his gaze burrowing into my back as I head to our bedroom.

Nico comes in after the Canes- Islanders game ends. 

“You’re not wrong.” He mumbles to me as he pulls his sweatshirt off his shoulders. “I’m sorry.” I shake my head, not really wanting to get into it. “Hey.” His tone softens further. “I love you even when hockey consumes every moment of our lives.”

“I know. I love you too.” I avoid his eyes, picking at a piece of loose skin by my thumb nail.

Nico comes to the end of the bed, crawling up my body so he lays completely on top of me. his weight smothers me into the bed. He wiggles his cheek between my breasts. Reaching to his right, he places my hand on top of his hair. I do my part, weaving my fingers into his hair, kneading his scalp.

“I know this is hard for you. Thank you.” I lace our other hands together, squeezing his fingers in acknowledgement.

We are quiet for a few minutes. I lean forward, pressing my lips to his head. Nico sighs, settling deeper into my chest, breathing light. Eventually, his soft snores begin to ripple my shirt. I wrap my leg around his body, letting my foot rest against his solid thigh. I close my eyes, ignoring the fact that the bedroom light is on. Nico feels so good right here in my arms, nothing could move me.

My lips spread into a coy smile, taking comfort in knowing I’m the only person in the world who gets to see him like this. 

[5and3nevermind]

Yoonmin Run Ep Project: Week 1

Welcome to Week 1 of our fun little Run ep viewing project!

This week, we watched Run ep 53. This was the picnic episode, which was released in 2018 (part 1 of 2). Please go watch it if you have time!

I don’t want this to turn into an episode recap, so I’ll just mention some things that stood out to me. I’d love to hear what you thought of the episode. Feel free to comment or send an ask. You’re also (obviously) more than welcome to write about it on your own blog. Let me know so I can make sure to stop by; I’d love to read it.

First of all, how cute that yoonmin sat together on the drive. They looked so cozy in that front row all by themselves.

Also…I just have to take a moment to appreciate how adorable Jk looked in those glasses!

Ok, back to yoonmin! I loved this moment when Yoongi and Jimin shared a laugh.

And then of course there was the egg-peeling incident. Jimin was so sweet to offer! Yoongi teased him, but we know that was also self-deprecating since he’d already said that he finds peeling eggs difficult.

For someone who was not directly involved in peeling that egg, Yoongi sure was curious! Cute.

The first stop was the grocery store:

That’s when we saw the back-scratching moment. Yoongi had been wearing a black coat, but he flung it low around his arms and lower back briefly:

Jin lost a game and had to complete the last part of the journey on foot. Jimin volunteered to go with him.

I didn’t catch Yoongi’s reaction until the second time I went back and watched the grocery store portion: start at 16:52 for context; at 17:00, Yoongi waves his hand dismissively and then says, “I won’t stop you,” I assume directed at Jimin.

This is a small detail and I don’t want to speculate too much. But…⚠️ Yoongi seemed a bit disappointed that Jimin was offering to do the punishment with Jin. The guys had been warned that it was an uphill walk. Maybe Yoongi was worried that it would make Jimin tired. Maybe he was already sore from dance practice or performing. ?? I found it interesting that Yoongi had an opinion on what Jimin does. And his comment—“I won’t stop you”—implies to me that Yoongi feels that he has the right to express an opinion on Jimin’s decisions. This seems, to me, to be inconsistent with typical friends and it’s certainly inconsistent with bandmates/co-workers. Would Yoongi have expressed his opinion if it was Joon or Jk who had volunteered? Perhaps not.

(The text next to Yoongi says, “I won’t stop you if you say you’ll do it!”)

Anyway, Jin and Jimin completed the last leg of the journey on foot, while the others rode in the van. We were treated to this adorable pic:

Could they possibly be any prettier?!?!

The members riding in the van arrived first. At one point Yoongi walked toward the window and asked, “When are they coming?” I thought he seemed a little distracted until Jimin and Jin arrived.

As Jimin approached, he made a sound like a crow, and Yoongi remarked that the bird sounded like “Park Jimin” (does anyone else love it when Yoongi calls Jimin by his full name?).

Yoongi couldn’t get over the fact that Jimin had been making bird noises and he brought it up again.

The picnic continues in part 2 (ep 54), but that is a topic for another day!

While watching this episode, I was struck by how often Yoongi and Jimin were together. However, they were pretty subtle. The back scratching is a perfect example. They were in the background and not at the center of the conversation. As you can see from my screenshot, Jimin wasn’t even fully in the shot!

So…those are my thoughts for now. I’d love to hear yours.

Yoonmin Run Ep schedule

Just a note: this is a yoonmin blog, so I’m focusing on them. Of course they also interacted with the other members. Of course Joon looked gorgoeus. Of course Hobi was pure joy. Of course Tae and Jk danced at the grocery store because they were excited about ice cream. Of course it was adorable when Tae fed chicken to Jin during the drive. Please watch the full episode so you can enjoy those moments too! 💜

[toxic-lullaby]

The brothers as Types of Shoppers

Characters: The Brothers x gn!mc

Warnings: None

-----

Lucifer

You ever been makeup shopping with your dad and he's like standing on the other side of the isle as you blocking traffic and being like "Is that it?" every 5 minutes? That's him

Very focused shopper, not interested in mall walking with you. He gets what he wants, pays, and leaves. He knows what he likes and exactly where it is in the store.

If he's shopping for someone else, however, he'll take his time. Not too long though, he just doesn't see the point in being in stores longer than he needs to.

Mammon

You can send Mammon into the store for like a cucumber and he'll still come back with a shopping cart of stuff. Candy, a watch, a camera, you name it, which is impressive because the store was a grocery store.

On the upside, he will get everything you need. If you send him with a list he'll actually get the stuff.

Has a store card for like every store ever

Will definitely haggle with the cashier or debate them when they say he cant get a deal. No they cant give you a buy one get one free on the pencils they're literally in a pack together

Buys wayyyyyy too much of everything. I can see him couponing then selling the stuff for full price.

Takes tags off of clothes that are too expensive and urges Asmo to do the same.

Leviathan

He is an online shopper this is canon

He has connections, you will never see him in a store running errands ( ik hes been to stores in canon but now he hasn't bc i said so/j)

He goes to the anime store and the human world Japan themed store in the mall every once in a while if there's some drop that is in stores only. He tries not to though because he got into an argument with the store clerk after they mixed up the Ruri-chan fanmade ova with the main canon

Satan

Most normal guy in stores, mostly

He's always looking for something specific and won't settle for replacements. Will rant for 30 minutes if they moved items or removed them from the store.

I can't see him clothes shopping very often, look at the way he dresses

Uses the self checkout religiously because he apparently can do it better than the people who's job it is to check you out. He is his dad's brother's son brother

Asmodeus

World's longest shopper, not even with clothes, just in general.

Straight lollygagging

Read the labels and everything, even if he's bought it before

Has a store credit card or two, nothing like Mammon. Just for the stores he frequents the most like Majolish, starbucks maybe, he seems like a starbucks guy

One of those annoying people who argues on the phone in the middle of the store

Asks the store workers their opinions on the items he's buying way too much. "What're your opinion on these eggs? Have you ever tried them?" like ??

Beelzebub

Eats the food in the store, brings it to the checkout open wide. I used to be afraid of eating the grapes as a kid meanwhile he's eating the grapes, a rotisserie chicken, drinking the milk.

Always falls victim to the snacks at the checkout

Usually rounds up, not even to be generous he just doesn't want the change

Never gets a basket, dropping items left and right because he didn't grab a basket on his way in and refuses to go back for one. "Sir, do you want a basket?" "No 😊😊”

Belphegor

You're lucky if you catch him shopping

Another in & out guy, he's got better things to be doing like sleeping or napping or snoozing or dozing off

Cannot be bothered with cash, he's a credit card guy

I can see this grown man sitting in the basket while you push him around and shop

- - - -

[nicistrying]

Sun 7th Jan

Another busy busy day! Matt and I walked Mags together this morning bc we both had so much to do the rest of the day. We saw a couple of Maggie's friends and their owner was like woooah you two are never out together! It's always nice when we do both get out. When we got back I started straight on with housework and laundry as I didn't get it all done yesterday, then went grocery shopping. Made egg muffins for breakfasts just for something different, and had a couple of those with some fruit for a quick lunch before going out for a run.

Went a different way than usual bc we walked on the other side of the river from my usual route last week and the path is much less prone to puddles and mud slides, so it was nice not to have to worry about that! Plodded along at a nice steady pace for about 6.5K. By 5K my legs were heavy so I'm glad I didn't go exploring any further before turning around! This run was harder than I want to admit but I'm glad I got out. All I want is to get more consistent at showing up. The aim currently is just to try to get out once a week, even if I can only manage 20 mins, there are loads of different routes I can do from my house so there's no reason I couldn't nip out for a quick one. I love running and now I have a stable job with fixed hours I want to build it back into my routine. Once the days are longer maybe I can consider adding a second run after work but right now once each weekend would be great. I was looking back through my nike app on my cool down and I used to run like 3x a week back before I started working at the store. One day I'll get back to that 💪

Cleaned inside the car in the last bit of daylight when I got home, stretched, and made a big batch of veggie soup for lunches this week. It's nothing special, but it has lots of goodness in it and it'll warm me up, those are my main concerns! (@thisgingersnapped50 my flex in response to your tag is that I prepped TWO MEALS for this week! Two meals more than usual 😂)

And now at 8.30pm, Mags and I are FINALLY chilling before bed. I'm having a Baileys in one of our cool tiki cups Matt's brother got us for Christmas. We got a set of 4 and they all have different faces and I love them. Going to read my book for hald an hour and then go to bed bc I am shattered from this weekend 😴😴

[nearestend]

I want to know what you think the best soup to have when you’re sick is. (Like cold/flu sick)

MUNDAY : ASK DILLY ABOUT SPECIAL INTERESTS.

great question! so, this actually depends on whether or not you have someone to help you out here. if you don't, then i'd imagine you'll be pretty low energy and unable to cook much. in that case, i'd recommend a classic: campbell's chicken noodle in a can actually works wonders for me. not the most fun answer, but it's a classic for a reason. i recommend adding some saltine crackers (or any crackers of your choosing, i just like saltines) for extra sustenance because you should get some solid food in your system too!

more ACTUAL recommendations under the cut:

if you have anyone to help you out, that's even better because it really opens up your options for soup. when i was little, my mom would make this chinese style chicken soup with goji berries, ginger, lotus root, and ginseng, which are supposed to help boost your immune system. i don't know the exact recipe, but there's one here that's fairly similar (i think they added a couple different things, but you can always swap them out for whatever). chinese herbal soups are an acquired taste, but they tend to have a lot of nutritious ingredients. if there's an asian grocery store near you, they'll sometimes sell mixes for these in powder form. if you're lucky, they might even have the actual fresh ingredients just wrapped up all together for soup making convenience — my local shop usually does this and it will include stuff like silkie chicken, ginger, ginseng, and any herbs or roots they have. pro dilly tip: these soups are often bitter, that really can't be helped at all. but if you want to make they more palatable (i usually need to), add a splash of soy sauce and maybe sesame oil. and if your ingredient mix doesn't have it already, add some garlic.

my other recommendations are classic tomato soup (roast your tomatoes + whatever other veggies you're adding to it before you boil though, it makes a huge flavour difference), lotus and pork bone broth (again, i do not follow recipes usually, but if you need a recipe this is a good reference), and i'm also going suggest something like a sausage and kale soup too (there's so many versions of this so use the one you like best; overall it tends to be good because it has greens AND protein, which are helpful).

now, this isn't technically a soup as much as it is a porridge but i do think i should recommend it regardless because it's what i often go for when i am sick or tired. congee, but not just any congee. there is a method and the method makes all the difference. after you wash your rice, but before you cook it, stick the grains in a bag and freeze them for at least 8 hours. i actually keep frozen rice in my freezer for this purpose usually. there's a whole science-y explanation for why this works, but basically it helps the rice break down faster in the cooking process and you get a nice silky consistency. there's a pretty good recipe/method here. again, i am allergic to using actual recipes, but i do like to use either chicken broth or pork broth instead of water to boil. throw a knob of ginger in during boiling and let the flavour/nutrients infuse. my toppings are usually scallion, sesame oil, and dark soy sauce (you can use regular). also suggest adding an egg, soft boiled if you like those.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #45

So I got my weeks confused! It is not soup at the place this weekend - it is potluck! Next week will be soup week! And I'm glad someone told me, because I would have felt very silly if I had brought soup!

I am always getting my days and weeks mixed up. Being AuDHD leaves me with a very shaky grasp of time and its passing. The fact that I must experience it in a linear fashion is occasionally very confusing to me. It just seems so arbitrarily limiting and just plain silly; you can bet that I'll be talking to tech support about it once I'm out of my meat-mech!! Bahahahaha! 🤣 🤪 😁

I can't help but wonder if you, from your position at the Edge of Creation, experience time differently than we do. I know you can't answer me, but… what's it like, the way things are over there? How does time and space flow? How do you flow within it? Are all your needs being met? Are you warm enough? Are you doing okay over there? I gotta wonder.

In any case! I am not, in fact, making soup this week! Instead, I am going to see about making a moussaka for the potluck! But I didn't have the ingredients on hand, so I went to the grocery, and as promised, I will write about my adventures and share pictures!

Curious: have you ever been to a grocery store? Does your world even have grocery stores, in the way that they exist in mine? In the media that we have of your world, all I ever see are little shops, so I had imagined that in most towns, there might be separate shops for things like dairy, a separate shop for meat, one for fish, and one for fruits and veggies, and so on. But maybe they have a grocery store in Midgar somewhere? Or maybe even in Junon? They seem like big places that likely act as relatively important trade hubs, so it wouldn't be too out-of-the-ordinary to see a grocery store in those places, right? I don't live over there (obviously), so I wouldn't know.

There is a grocery place nearby that I like to go to, and it takes maybe 5 or 10 minutes for me to get there. It's got a little bit of everything, so it's easy to gather whatever you need to make a meal. In this case, I went for moussaka supplies and some other odds and ends that were written on a list on a whiteboard in the hallway near the front door of my house.

(if you're wondering if I adhered strictly to this list... my brain is always generating tasty snack ideas a mile a minute, I'm utterly captivated by anything that looks new or interesting, and my impulse control in general is poor, so... the answer to such questions is almost always a resounding "NO!" 😜🤣)

Oh! It occurs to me! Maybe you don't know what moussaka is, because it is a Greek dish, and your world doesn't have a place called Greece in it. But then again, your world has pasta dishes, and pasta dishes are Italian dishes, and your world doesn't have a place called Italy. Hm. Well, I'll explain it anyways, because even in my world, not a lot of people know what moussaka is!

It's a baked dish that consists of a thick, tomato-based sauce made with spiced ground lamb in between layers of roasted eggplant slices. The top layer is a bechamel sauce - it's basically what happens when you whisk together butter, flour, milk, egg yolks, and cheese. It's absolutely delectable, and the leftovers are even better, because the flavors will have had time to mingle!

But it's a lot of work, especially if you're dyspraxic like me. It's gonna take me a bunch of hours to put it all together (which is why I usually need a compelling excuse to make it - like a potluck!), and with the stupid rib injury, I'm probably gonna have an even harder time trying to put it together than usual. But that's okay!! The results are always amazing, so it'll be worth it!

But first always comes the part where you get the ingredients. You start with some eggplants (you need 3, but I got a fourth because I know I'll wanna eat some slices as I'm roasting them, hahaha!), a couple of red onions, some garlic, and a lemon. I already have garlic, but I got everything else:

It's important to select a very pale lemon; you don't have to worry about ripening with citrus fruits, so the paler the lemon, the fresher it is, and the more juice it will have.

Since I was in the produce section, I also happened to notice that they had starfruit! It's one of my favorites, so I snatched up the best-looking one. For these, it's the opposite - you'll want darker fruits, because, unlike citrus, these ones are shipped not-quite-ripe. Darker means more ripe in this case, and therefore more juicy and sweet.

I ended up needing to take the rest of the pictures after the fact at home, sadly; I would have liked to show you the general pattern and structure of the grocery store that is familiar to me, but for some reason, it got really crowded all of a sudden, and I didn't want to be in anybody's way, trying to snap pictures for reasons that they couldn't possibly understand, which I'm not too terribly keen on trying to explain anyway, especially to someone who is rushing around and likely already cranky and irritable. Yeesh. 😬

In any case! Here are the rest of the ingredients that I got for the moussaka. These are used to make the meat sauce and the bechamel sauce:

We have here some tomato puree in a glass jar and some tomato paste in a tube; this is very convenient, because these normally come in cans, even though we're not going to need all of it. Cans are not resealable, but jars and tubes are! I will use the entirety of the cans of crushed and diced tomatoes, so we don't have to worry about that! We also have some ground lamb, a couple of different kinds of hard Greek cheeses (feta and halloumi) that I will grate for the purpose of incorporating into the bechamel. And we also have a VERY curious kitty named Hunter who wants to investigate my epic grocery store loot!! We'll pretend like his investigations are for quality control purposes, why not? Hahaha! 😄

Speaking of epic grocery store loot, I found a bunch of things that were definitely not on the list, but they seemed really neat, and I wanted to try them! Here's a photo:

Bison is kind of like a cow, but not really. Bison, cows, and buffalo are all in the Bovinae subfamily, in the Bovini tribe, as far as taxonomy on my planet goes; I wondered how it tastes, as compared to regular beef, so I thought to do a small science in order to find out. And venison is what we call deer after it's processed into something edible. I already know what deer tastes like because my father used to hunt, but you don't normally find it in grocery stores. I guess farming deer is becoming more popular. How interesting! It's good stuff, and I've missed the flavor, so I'm excited to use it in something yummy!

I also found a new kind of tea! This one looked potentially like it could taste nice, and it'll give me something warm to sip on at night that doesn't contain caffeine, which is always a plus!

Remember - don't drink caffeine too close to bed! It's bad for your sleep! It impairs the nightly brain-cleaning cycle, and disruptions to that cycle can do very strange things to a person's body and mind! Better to save the caffeine for morning or afternoon use only! Otherwise, things can get really weird!

I also found some of THESE:

So... I know that I said these were really good, but the truth is, I've never actually had them. I've only had the cookie butter that is made from them (yes, that is a thing!), and that cookie butter is REALLY GOOD, oh my stars! Here's a picture:

I assumed that these taste like the cookie butter, and I was a bit disappointed by the biscuit tea, and I also heard of a French tiramisu recipe that uses these instead of ladyfingers, and by all these reasons combined, I wanted to give them a try!

Here is what they look like, and yes, I can confirm that the flavor is practically identical to the cookie butter that I'm familiar with!

...I can already tell that I'm going to have to be really careful with myself around these, holy moly! Ahahahaha~!! I know you can't answer me, but do you have foods like that, I wonder? If there are foods that are irresistible to you, besides the pastas that we know about, what are they? Curious!

I also got some of these:

These are palm-sized balls of mozzarella cheese, filled with thick mixture of cream and very soft shredded mozzarella cheese. These are delightful in ways that I can't even begin to describe to you! If you don't hate soft cheeses (some people do; it's a texture thing and I can respect that), you should definitely give these a try if you ever find them somehow!

Finally, I got some of these to share with everyone in my house and in the various places I go:

I'm already familiar with the dark chocolate ones - they're my favorite kind. But the strawberries and cream ones were new, and they fascinated me as a concept, so I got them! They're a bit too sweet for me, but I know several others who will like them! I wonder if you might like either of these? Hm.

The rest of the things are just ordinary things, but sometimes I get struck by the simple beauty of them. Maybe it's a little weird, haha. But here, I tried to take some good pictures; maybe you'll understand, if only just a little:

I liked to look at the vibrant purple skin of these. Did you know that eggplants in the old days used to be very small and white? That's why they're called eggplants in the first place. I'm not sure why they ended up big and purple as time went on. In any case, I can't wait to slice and roast these; they're going to be delicious!

I know it's just a broccoli. But I thought it was a very good-looking broccoli. The green was a lot more vibrant than what I could capture with the camera, but the shape is good, and its weight is pretty hefty. This is a very good broccoli! I am pleased that I found such a prize; they're not normally this nice!

This is just mixed greens, but I liked the way the colors looked in the sunlight, and I liked the way all the colors blend together. The purple leaves really pop out! This one is especially nice, because usually boxes of mixed greens have a little bit of rot on the bottom, but I got really lucky this time!

These are just tomatoes. But I thought they looked like very good tomatoes. I loved the way the vibrant red of the fruit contrasted with the green of the vine as the sunlight splashed on them! And they smell really good, too!

I like these because I think they taste good (though my husband likes to tease me because he thinks they taste like stomach acid, but then he'll insist on trying whichever one I am sipping from, so I'm not really sure what to make of that, haha)! And they also are just generally pretty liquids that come in very pretty bottles! But you shouldn't drink more than one of these in a day if you don't want a tummyache. Or at least I get a tummyache if I have more than one of these in a span of 24 hours. I wonder if that's normal? Hm.

...Look. I know that maybe all these pictures don't seem to most folks like they're much of anything. Maybe it seems inconsequential in the grand scheme of things; I know that life can be very ugly sometimes. You've seen it. I've seen it.

But you know? Life can also be very beautiful if you know where to look, if you're deliberate about which spaces you choose to be in, and if you can learn to find joy in simple and ordinary things. I'd even argue, given how absolutely fucked-up the world can be, that it's essential to find the magic in everyday things. Maybe some grouchy person might try to tell you that grown-ass adults like us shouldn't still have a sense of wonder about things as though we're still new to this place, but... well... they're allowed to be wrong. People are wrong about things all the damn time:

Yes, the fuck I can!! 🤩 To be both is the birthright of any human being; the capacity to have these things in balance is part of what makes us amazing! So I'll be over here trying to be a kaleidoscopic rainbow of bright and awesome and joyful things while also being in touch with the various horrors of this world, no matter what anyone says. Because even if it was the case that I'm wrong for thinking and being this way (I'm not), I'm still happier and more balanced than any grouch-almighty who somehow doesn't have anything better to do with themselves than to try to make me feel small.

Hey!! If I can be doomy/gloomy and sparkly/rainbowy at the same time, then so can you! Heck, you'd probably do a better job of pulling it off than I do, given that epic, awesome brain of yours!

Take good care of yourself, okay? Remember you are loved! And stay safe! Try to find the delight in ordinary things. Treat yourself nice, and make good, kind, and loving choices.

I'm gonna make moussaka tomorrow! I'll take pictures to share with you along the way!! You will receive a moussaka-flavored letter!!! Look forward to it!!!!

Your friend, Lumine

[gokartkid]

heeeeyyyy i wanna hear ur thots on no.5, 8, and 18 for yukierre 👉🏼👈🏼

5. Describe their cozy night in.

pierre sees one of those 'tin fish date night' things on his instagram reels (not even tiktok because he's on those ig reels constantly) and he thinks that yuki would probably like that-- right?? and they've both been really busy and working recently. he goes to the grocery store and looks for the best ones, tries to find the ones that he saw in the reel but some of them aren't there and the ones at the store he's like well-- the packaging is really pretty. so maybe they'll be good!

he gets fancy wafer crackers, and doritos, and a couple cheeses too and then takes them all home and sets up their table rlly nice. yuki's working later than he is, has been sending pierre photos close up of his face looking tired/meh all day. pierre lights a couple candles and makes the whole set up, very pinterest!

yuki gets home and is like, dumping his bag by the front door and toeing off his shoes and calling out to pierre "godd you wouldn't believe what happened at work today, this guy was being so annoying and--" and then he walks in and he stops and is like "oh my god. tinned fish! did that trend just reach you on reels hahahaha" and he comes over and kisses pierre and is like "thank you, wow this is really nice!" and then they set up KUWTK on the tv and eat and have gay sex or whateverr

8. What happens if one of them gets sick?

yuki is soo bossy when he gets sick! hes like pierre i need that pillow yes that exact one to hold me up. also can you go to that one chinese place i like to get their wonton soup its the best one. also come cuddle me and watch netflix-- you can't say no! youuu got me sick! you won't get sick again (pierre does get sick again but he doesn't mind because he feels really weird not just, like, being around yuki)

18. How likely are they to have fur babies? How many and what kind?

they get one cat who they spoil sooo much, they do that whole like raw feeding-best diet thing, where its like kibble + wet food + duck feet + quail egg + supplements etc. etc. they could set up a successful fuckin, asmr pet feeding account if they wanted. they airtag her collar even though she's an indoor cat because they both like to know where she is. pierre puts hats on her and posts her on his ig allll the time. yuki stops him from making a dedicated instagram profile for her. later on they get a new small kitten and at first socialising them with each other is such an ordeal but the kitten bullies the older one into liking her hahaha

otp asks!

[clatterbane]

Yay, more prophylactic freezer action.

All the dry staples (rice, flour, beans, etc.) from the grocery order earlier are now in frozen quarantine for a few days before they go anywhere near our pantry cupboard. Because I was unfortunately reminded again not long ago that I probably should NOT have slacked off on that, when I found minor evidence of flour moths in my previous bag of cornmeal. 😵

After some careful inspection, it didn't look like any had managed to get much further than that. Everything infestable that was in there got cycled through the freezer to kill off any kind of bugs and/or their eggs anyway, playing it safe. I actually just cleared out the final batch this evening, to make room for the new stuff. Including a fresh bag of the same cornmeal!

The few items left in those four drawers usually dedicated to dry goods are, like, pickled vegetables and some shirataki noodles in vacuum pouches. Not tempting chow for horrible little moth larvae, and it would be obvious if the pouches had lost seal

Now an amazing amount of pantry stuff has been taking up space to one side of our living room for several weeks altogether--and I am leaving that cabinet empty of everything that might host them for a few more days, until those new groceries are ready to leave quarantine. Just to hopefully make sure there's a lower chance of any eggs or anything lingering in there.

Our temporary pantry, y'all. That back of the couch bag just got hastily hoiked there a little while ago.

Thankfully no evidence of any worrying bugs anywhere else in the house so far, with the freezer-cycled food just sitting there in the openwith no good way to keep anything out of it. Can't say I will be sorry to finally get everything back where it belongs!

Anyway, I am indeed aware that this might seem like an overly nutty reaction to finding what looked like evidence of moth webs in a bag of cornmeal. And maybe it really is.

But yeah, I do have actual OCD. Plus I lived with both moths and freaking weevils in my mom's food hoard, which she couldn't just get rid of on any of the several different occasions when bugs did get into it. Hitchhiking in on new items from the store.

She would honest to goodness also go ahead and cook pasta that she knew had weevils lurking in the package, and fish them out of the boiling water with a spoon. 🥴 I think I took significant psychic damage from just several years of those damned moths flapping around the whole house, and their awful maggoty-looking web spinning children dangling on threads. I remember walking straight into one hanging from the living room ceiling fan, of all places. And this shit went on for several years straight.

Those little fuckers will get into things that you wouldn't even imagine them possibly being attracted to. You may think a jar or other firmly closed lidded hard container will keep them out, but if it's not completely airtight they will find a way in.

On the plus side, I did develop extensive experience at identifying signs of weevils and moths in your food stores.

Anyway, I really am extra motivated to avoid dealing with pest bugs in my own pantry, now that I am in charge of my own. Brought home weevils a couple of times back in London, but promptly tossed everything that might be infested and preemptively froze the rest.

So yeah, it might be aggravating, but I think I will indeed go back to making sure everything risky that comes in goes through freezer quarantine before it joins the other food. Needing to systematically go through and do that on all the existing shit has eaten up way more spoons than if I had just done it gradually before a new thing went into the cabinet at all. And luckily we also have more freezer space now, to help make quarantine more practical.

Also, it may be pretty ingrained in me to keep plenty of food on hand. To the point that I do set actual stock limits for myself. But, at least this feels like further evidence that I really do not seem to have developed the same outright hoarding urge--to the point that you literally could not bring yourself to throw a buggy bag of cornmeal or rice in the trash. 😬 I can, and will, toss whatever I need to in order to keep things non-disgusting.

[harveyhawkscripts]

[A4A] Lucario Offers Realistic Affirmations [Pokémon] [Ex-battler Listener] [Affirmations]

Google Doc

Usage:

- Okay for monetization

- Please credit me as Harvey Hawk :)

- Tweaks, improv, and pronoun changes are okay! Just please do not rewrite the script completely.

Synopsis: The listener is a Pokémon trainer who quit battling a few years ago. The speaker is their Lucario. Lucario notices that, after a therapy appointment, the trainer is feeling down. They help by offering advice and realistic affirmations.

Key:

[SFX and Action]

(.) Short Pause

(...) Longer pause

(Voice instruction)

Word count: 1031

___

[Pokeball opens]

LUCARIO:

Trainer! You’re done with your appointment. I missed you.

(.)

It was a very long hour. Are we going to the store now?

[The two start walking together]

Can we get poffin ingredients while we’re there? I’ll help you make them.

(.)

Yes! It’s been so long since we’ve made poffins together. I think it’ll cheer you up, too. Your aura is… off. Did something happen in therapy?

(.)

Tough session? I’m sorry. I wish that I could come with you to your therapy appointments, but I understand that they’re private.

(.)

It doesn’t upset me. I just worry.

(.)

Hey, did you see that? That trainer is trying to meet your eyes. Guess they want a battle. Should I let them know?

(.)

Sorry, stranger. We don’t battle, we’re just on our way to the store. Have a nice day!

(.)

Hm? What is it?

(.)

(Reluctantly) To be honest… Yes. Sometimes I do miss those days. Battling with you was always so thrilling, and I liked travelling and sleeping under the stars. You were happier back then, too. Less tired.

(.)

N-no, please don’t apologize! I understand why… why we had to stop. It’s okay, really. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, I’m just glad to be with you.

(.)

Another trainer? No way! I would never, ever think of leaving you!

(.)

What? I would not be happier with someone else, don’t even say that! Trainer, you raised me from an egg. I’m closer to you than anyone else, and nothing will ever change that. You’re my best friend. Even if we don’t travel or battle anymore, we still do plenty of fun things together. Like cooking and frisbee!

(.)

It’s okay. I know your emotions are still raw after your therapy session.

(Hopefully) Maybe petting my head would help you feel better.

(.)

Can you scritch a bit to the left…? Yeah, right there.

(Hums happily) Hm… Oh! Right, shopping. I almost forgot.

[Door opens; bell rings]

Can I see the list?

[Paper unfolds]

Let’s see… We need cereal, sugar, moomoo milk… Oh, and nanab berries for the poffins. I’ll get a basket.

(.)

Let me carry it for you. You’re tired after your appointment.

(.)

It’s no trouble! Come on, let’s start with the produce.

Mmmm, sweet nanab berries. How many do you think we’ll need? Maybe we should get some extra in case we feel snackish while we bake.

[Phone buzzes]

I’ll get it!

Oh, it’s an app notice. ‘Alaka-affirmations: A Mindfulness App.’ What’s this?

(.)

Affirmations… Huh. ‘I find it easy to concentrate on things I enjoy.’ ‘The Divine always has my back.’ What is the Divine? Is that like Arceus?

(.)

‘I am always in control of my thoughts.’ No, you aren’t, you have OCD.

(Slightly frustrated) These ‘affirmations’ don’t know you very well.

(.)

So, you’re supposed to say it to yourself over and over again? Hmm... Let’s see. ‘All of my actions lead to abundance and prosperity.’ That’s just untrue! There’s no way all your actions lead to abundance and prosperity. Who on earth could possibly claim that?

(.)

Your therapist told you to download the app? So, that’s what’s wrong. None of these affirmations feel achievable to you, do they?

(.)

No wonder you’re frustrated! I would be too if my therapist talked over me the entire session and made me download that app. The affirmations are so unrealistic they feel useless to say. We really need to find you a new therapist, too.

(.)

Maybe we should put your phone away for now. C’mon, let’s focus on the groceries. How about we pick up some ingredients for dinner?

(.)

Pizza? I guess we could get pizza, but we’ve had take-out or frozen meals for the last week. Why don’t we try making something tonight?

(.)

I know your appointment was hard, but cooking always cheers you up! Plus, you’ll have me to help you. Come on, we can make your favorite. Please?

(.)

Alright! We’ll need broccoli and enoki mushrooms. I’ll grab those if you get the Arboliva oil.

[Phone buzzes]

Another one? What does this one say?

(.)

‘Happiness comes easily to me.’ Ah… Yeah, we’re changing course. Delete that app, trainer. I have an idea.

(.)

Remember when we went to Shalour City to battle Korrina? I got so frustrated because no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t beat her Lucario. I kept throwing myself at them, telling myself I could do it if I just tried harder. But I kept losing. Do you remember what we did then?

(.)

Yep! We took a break. We rested a bit, then started brushing up on the basics. We set realistic goals for ourselves, building up our strength little by little. Then we went back to Korrina’s gym, and guess what happened?

(.)

Hehe, we did lose again! But remember what you told me? You said, ‘it’s okay to lose, we’ll just try again.’ And the next time we battled Korrina… We won!

(.)

My point is we didn’t get anywhere until we set realistic goals for ourselves. Maybe we can try that with your affirmations.

(.)

Like… Instead of ‘the universe is sending me happiness,’ you can say ‘I will do things that make me happy.’ Then we can do those things! Won’t that be fun? We could go for a walk, visit the library, or watch Pokémon contests.

(.)

Alright! C’mon, let’s make more affirmations while we shop. Sugar and cereal next. How about, ‘failure is a part of life and growth.’

(.)

Good job, trainer! ‘I am worthy of care and attention,’ I like that one.

(.)

See? You’re cheering up already! You don’t need that app, we can make our own, better affirmations. Like ‘Instead of waiting to have a good day, I will try to make it one.’  Or, ‘if I get overwhelmed, I will take a breath and ground myself.’ Instead of vague goals and manifestations, we can focus on actionable steps. How about when we get home we write some of these down?

(.)

While the poffins bake? Sounds good to me! C’mon, let’s get that moomoo milk and head to check-out.  Ooh, I’m so excited! We get to cook dinner and make poffins together!

(.)

Hm? You have another affirmation? What is it?

(.)

(Touched) ‘I have a wonderful friend beside me.’ Oh, trainer… I think that one is my favorite.

END