#i have seen how entitled to my time my boss can be

[blitzwhore]

I just saw Blitzø get called Stolas stockholm victim I can't with this fandom anymore😭

😂 As outrageously incorrect and stupid as that take is, I'm going to go on a tangent here. I hope you don't mind.

I think every fandom has annoying people with awfully terrible takes in it. People with zero media literacy. People who hatewatch. People who think they're entitled to the exact show they would've wanted, which has nothing to do with the actual, existing show.

This is especially true for queer media, and especially true for queer cartoons. (Hi, yes. I was active in the Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Voltron, and She-Ra fandoms when those shows were airing, respectively. I've seen some stuff). Some people just can't handle queer cartoons, period. If the queer characters/ships are soft and wholesome, they're infantilising and boring, and if they're complex and nuanced and actually have conflict, they're abusive and problematic. You'll hear the same recycled arguments over and over again. Like, the shit some people are saying about Blitz and Stolas after The Full Moon? Is literally almost word-for-word what they said about Catra and Adora post-season 3 of She-Ra (and even at the end of the show).

Here's the thing, though! Those people and their bad takes are not what I want to think about what I think about a fandom. Those aren't the people I want to call the fans. They don't deserve that title. Not when so many other people are out there dedicating their time to making gifs and art and meta posts, and writing fic, and commenting/reblogging to show support, and sliding into people's DMs to scream and squee together about a thing they love.

At the end of the day, "fandom" is just a lot of people each doing their own thing. Which people you engage with and allow to stay within your line of sight will determine your fandom experience. Fandom can be a huge, convoluted, online space full of people who are constantly arguing with one another and whose takes make you unfathomably angry... Or it can be you and your 5 friends and mutuals who scream gleefully at one another in 2-note posts. You can't control what others post online, but you can control your engagement with it.

How? Well, here's what I personally do to avoid getting upset by people's stupid opinions online:

Filter 'critical' and 'anti' tags (eg. #anti stolitz #anti vivziepop #Helluva Boss critical #HB critical #vivziepop critical). Many people actually do tag their critical posts because they know it's the respectful thing to do!

If I come across a post that has one or more of those tags, obviously, I don't click through to see it under any circumstances.

If I stumble across a stranger's untagged post with hate/criticism that upsets me: I stop reading and BLOCK. Immediately. I don't look back. I don't finish reading. I don't engage. I just block block block. I <3 the block button, seriously.

If I feel my mind reeling from a bad take I just came across: I take a step back, close my phone, breathe, remember life is beautiful sometimes. Go back and watch an episode I really like. Clean my living space a little. Vent about it to a friend (but only if I really need to, because if not, I'd rather not dwell on it).

If I'm starting to feel the need to reply to someone's bad take (directly or via my own post), I instead make the decision to channel that energy into making fandom posts out of love. (I don't do this just with fandom. If I see something transphobic online, I usually react by reblogging a bunch of trans art or trans positivity posts on my main, for example). I like to think of it as putting some positivity out into the world to compensate for the negativity I just saw. So, for example, if I see someone shitting on my blorbo, I may make a silly post just saying how much I love blorbo. Or I'll make (or draft) a post about how interesting I find some of blorbo's actions. Or reblog another person's positive/interesting post about blorbo.

And finally, I stay the hell away from Twitter. Or at least, if I go on Twitter, I try my best to avoid any tweet that has text in it instead of just art. Even the people who have good opinions spend too much time arguing with the people who have bad opinions on there. I don't want to see people's bad takes! No, not even while reading founded and perfectly articulated criticism of those bad takes! So I just limit my time on Twitter. And again, if someone is putting bad takes on my TL (even if it is to counter them), I unfollow and block as needed.

All this to say, yes, it really fucking sucks to read the opinions of people who don't understand and who hate the characters and ships and worlds you love. Gosh it's the worst. But you can curate your fandom experience. You can focus on the things you can control. You have the power to decide if your fandom experience is draining or fun!

And because I don't know how to finish this, here, have a Stolitz kiss to heal you:

We will keep winning and there's nothing the haters can do about it. 😌

[waywardcrow]

Timeless.

Summary: 1943. 1975. 2024. Three different decades, three different lives, three different times your life and Bucky's interwined; he lost you twice, will he do it again?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader.

TW: It can change each chapter but themes of Bucky as soldier and as the Winter Soldier in general, some stalker behaviour but with good intentions?, flashbacks and a not so good writing style by me, lots of feels, one awful boss, one jerk that almost gets reader in an accident, mentions of headaches, past reader is mentioned to be named Beth but that changes for 2024 version of her so I nicknamed her Ace, this will be a +18 story so minors dni, as always please remember english is not my first language so if I make a mistake or forget something let me know.

Pictures from pinterest and graphic and dividers by the amazing @ firefly-graphics so all credits to the creators.

Your head was aching like never before and that was your life now; annoying pain, annoying boss who was a fucking brat with a trust fund who never heard the word “no” as a kid and that now acted like she was entitled to make your life miserable.

It wasn’t like you were and idiot who believed a job like this will be easy, as a born and raised new yorker who watched The devil wears Prada too many times you were aware of what will come your way as PA of the editor of one of the best magazines in the country but your issuess were beyond that, it was easy to handle a bully if you are getting something in exchange besides a check that barely paid your rent.

This job was suppossed to be your opportunity and Mia Alexander was beating up your expectations. With a sigh you picked the coffee and make your way back to the office, it was so stupid that you have to walk three blocks in the pouring rain just to get her stupid cold brew from the stupid pretencious coffee shop that always made you feel like you were back in high school. Always the outsider in a world ruled by assholes, just like the one who pushed you too hard while waiting to cross the street. For an idiotic reason, your first thought was that you will have to go back for another cold brew when the one in your hand hit you and then the pavement, not the bike coming your way.

It happened too fast for you to understand it, the asshole pushing you towards the traffic, your annyoance, the stranger who hold you back in the blink of an eye, the pain in your head stopping and then you were standing at a safe distance to the cars, with your umbrella tossed in the pavement and absolutely no idea of what had happened.

Alexander yelled at you for your aspect when you came back late with her first coffee all over your dull clothes and the second one not good enough apparently, the best you could do was bite your tongue and not tell her to fuck off. This job was everything you had.

“What the fuck happened to you, babe?” Harper didin’t care about Mia but that was because she couldn’t get her fired being her sister and everything, you were a different story.

“Your evil sister doing her usual shit” was your only response, Harper was completely different to Mia and if you tried to tell her about the incident she will drove you herself to ER. She followed you to the bathroom, your blouse was so stained it couldn’t be saved and still you wanted to do something to don’t cry.

Harper pursed her perfect red lips, it didn’t matter how many times she tried to help you, Mia was their mother’s favorite and will never do anything against her; the best she could do for you was to get you out of that clothes.

“Take that off, I’m bringing you something and don’t argue” Harper disappeared before you could try and came back with a pretty blouse with a V line and a small waist that will rock with your boring blue jeans.

“I can’t wear that” you refused still covered in coffee.

“Why? I have seen you wear more skimpy stuff when we go out” someone walked in the bathroom and shot you an intrigued look when she saw Harper undressing you.

“You know why” your dumb boss didn’t like that the person walking three steps behind her attracted the attention so you were expected to wear boring clothes in order to not be noticed by anyone.

“I’m telling you, one of this days I’m going to punch her in the face and I will not give a fuck if I get cut out…” your hand in her mouth stopped her to finish her sentence “back off, Ace” her nickname make you roll your eyes “you know I’m right.”

She was but your life was a constant reminder that no matter how right you were, you had no other option but to do as you were told if you wanted to pay the bills and help your parents, you stopped wishing for a way out long ago, this was your life.

Bucky went back to the tower that night after making sure you were home safe first, Sam tried to call him back but he ignored his phone and jumped in the shower, the hot water barely easing the tension in his muscles. He could have lost you that afternoon.

The super soldier still wanted to chase the idiot who nearly get you killed but Bucky wouldn’t be able to hold back if he saw him again, that’s why he asked Sam to take care of it without giving a good explanation beyond what had happened: a jerk pushed a by-stander to the traffic and didn’t give a shit about it. Bucky had to act like you were nothing to him, just another civilian he could help. He was liar, a murderer, a destroyer of lives but that lie, insignificant and not even believable, left his chest aching. You were everything; you always were from the moment he set his eyes on you that night in 1943.

Bucky expected more from his last night home before going to war, his date was nice but Connie will never think twice about him once he was gone and in all honesty, he wouldn’t do it too. Maybe it was the fact that Steve insisted in being enlisted that left him so uneasy, maybe the thought of leaving his family behind when his ma and his sisters already lose too much or maybe it was everything mixed with his fears.

Opposite to Steve, he never wanted to go to the war, it was what left them without a father, what left his mom without a husband, Bucky swore he will never abandon his family to fight and die alone in someone else’s land but his country didn’t care about his promises and his fears and demanded his blood and sacrifice anyway.

He tried to don’t let his family see this, not even Steve but Rebecca could see it, only three years of difference between them made them close to know each other well. She was there when Bucky got the letter informing him about being drafted, she held him while he cried like a little kid and swore to don’t say a word to the others, Rebecca woke up early the morning of his mandatory training to make him breakfast and give him a hug before their ma could do the same.

Bucky didn’t want to leave her in charge, she was his little sister, his responsibility but he was sure Rebeca will do it.

The way back after leaving Connie and her friend home was silent, Steve probably was back in their apartment after being rejected again, Bucky promised himself to be reasonable with his best friend later but after he spent one more night with his family.

In the porch stairs there were two girls whistling a short melody, he could see them from the distance, one was Rebecca but he didn’t knew who was the other one, her hair pinned up perfectly giving him a good view of one perfect neck and three moles aligned like a little constellation.

When he got close enough, Rebeca spotted him and she broke a smile.

“Bucky! You are here!” His sister got up, holding him in her embrace. After all those years he could swear he still remembered her scent: homemade cookies and lilacs. “You are early” she said, giving him a suspicious look.

Before she could say more, he interrupted “Who’s your friend, Becca?”

You shot him a funny glance, like you knew what he was doing and follow his sister after fixing your skirt.

“I’m Beth, nice to meet you” You and Rebecca were being friends for more of a year but you never met her brother, Rebeca tried to set you both up but he insisted in not dating anyone as young as her sister, didn’t seem right but that was before he got a chance to actually know you.

He knew a lot of beautiful girls; he probably dated a good number of them in the last years but you were more than your pretty eyes or your perfect lips, he never felt like his whole world stopped with any of them the way he felt it with you.

“Beth” Bucky repeated, his tongue tasting sweet with the echo of your name in his mouth. A charming smile made its way to his lips and you blushed under the intensity of his eyes. Everybody talked about Rebecca’s brother, such a ladies man, a respectful one but a ladies man anyways and you were raised better than to be one of those dames who let men sweep them off their feet.

“I should go back home, Becca” you said giving your friend a quick hug and a nod to her brother.

“Let Bucky walk you home Beth, is late and your mother will not be happy if she knows you went alone” oh Rebecca was good, Bucky could see the spark in her eyes, identical to his, and he could hear her future constant reminders from now on about how she told him so, she was always right about him and Beth.

“I don’t want to impose” was all the girl could say and Bucky took that as his chance.

“Please, allow me to escort you home safe, miss” he used his best smile and extended his arm like a gentleman “it will be an honor.”

For a heartbeat, he could see your intention to roll your eyes but you agreed and took his arm, Rebeca didn’t do a good job at hiding her smile saying her goodbyes before going back to the house to tell Winnifred everything.

And that was the only time he could be close to you before he lose everything he was once.

Next chapter >>>

Please let me know what you think! Thanks 🩵.

[pyramid-of-starrs]

14!!!!!!

Come sit in my office

Kinktober request: 14 Crush Jongho, thighs

Pairing: Manager Jongho x Employee afab gn! reader

Summary: On the day of Halloween when you should be out with your friends getting shit faced you're stuck at work in your slutty costume. After being sent to your managers office you find out a very interesting fact about Jongho that makes you want to explore it further. But you make an embarrassing mistake that leads you into something else.

Word Count: 2.1K

Kink: Thighs

Warning: Thigh riding, thigh fucking

Minors dni

Halloween was usually super fun, dressing up going to parties, or fucking a random guy in a dumb little costume, but not this year. You were finally selected to be one of the few workers at your retail job in the mall to work the night shift for Halloween. Usually, you wouldn't be upset about shifts, but since the mall owner is super into Halloween every year, he would have the Mall and stores stay open till 11 pm instead of 8 pm to hand out candy to kids and help parents get last-minute costume supplies. In your 2 years working at the store you were able to dodge Halloween hell shift, the name given by all the other employees, but 3rd times the charm huh? Though it sounds easy and simple it's usually bratty and entitled kids with their rude or super-stressed parents. After begging everyone to take the shift and ending up with no luck you just bit the bullet and stayed, at least you still got to dress up, but of course this year you chose to be a slutty murdered school girl, oh well.

After hours of dealing with kids and getting judgy side eyes from parents as you folded clothes with your coworker, you heard your manager's voice through the walkie earpiece used to communicate with everyone in the store.

"Y/N, can you come see me in my office."

You sighed heavily, your coworker giggling at you and then making an "oooh" sound to tease you for possibly getting in trouble. You put the clothes in your hand down and walked to the back then stopped to knock at your manager's office.

"Come in." He shouted from the other side, you opened the door to see your lavender hair manager not wearing his usual business casual clothes but opting for a sporty look today as he was filling out papers in front of his laptop.

"You wanted to see me, Mr. Choi?"

"Ah, Y/N come in and take a seat for me." He said as he stuck his hand out to wave you to the chair propped in front of his desk.

You took a seat as your bare ass hit the cloth chair due to how short your skirt was, it made you cringe a bit because you knew the discoloration from the chair was from it not being cleaned, at least your thigh highs protected you from your thighs meeting the same fate.

"So what's up boss?" you said as you looked at him. He finally put his pen down to look over you before he responded.

"Well Y/N, I've gotten a few... let's say comments... about your choice of costume for today." He said trying to be sensitive about the matter.

"Oh yeah well this was all I had since I had plans for Halloween this year before I got scheduled." You said looking over yourself.

"Right and what are you supposed to be?" He questioned.

"A murdered school girl but like, spicy 'cause I'm an adult."  you said nonchalantly.

"Okay... and you deemed that appropriate to wear to work."

"No but I deemed it good enough to wear for tonight's shift." you said quickly. "What's wrong with it? Too much thighs and boobs showing?  Do you not like my thighs Mr. Choi?" you said teasing him, your manager was usually very conservative and you and your coworkers loved teasing him because of that.

He cleared his throat before replying. "I-I can assure you that I have no issues with your thighs Y/N I meant the par-"

"Oooh no issues with them huh? Then why call me back here? I get  you would rather die than show skin but some of us aren't afraid."

Before he could reply he stood up to reveal one of the most gorgeous things you've ever seen, his thick horse-like thighs in a pair of gym shorts.

"As you can see from my clever gym teacher costume, I too am showing thigh, I just wanted to let you know the parents had an issue... I actually don't mind your thighs." He said the last part quietly.

You marveled at his legs for a moment before he spoke again.

"J-just get back to work and stay behind the counter okay? Remember me and you are on closing duty tonight so don't leave with everyone else." He said as he sat back down and continued to work. You nodded stood up and returned to the floor.

After hours, 11 pm finally hit and you couldn't be more excited but nervous. Though you could try to finally meet back up with your friends for late-night moves all you could think about was being trapped with your hot manager and his newly discovered meaty thighs. You never knew you had a thing for muscle legs or Jongho the prude, again a name given by co-workers, until now. Everyone started to leave and you did your rounds in the store while Jongho locked up, then you two met back up to collect the money from the registers and take it to the office to count it. You sat at the chair in front of his desk again so you could count the money and he locked the office door and collected the credit card receipts to count those. Being in the locked office with him for some reason made your heart pound and even worse made your clit kind of throb as you stared at his lavender locks and his tanned skin as he stayed focused. You started to shift a bit in the chair then crossed one leg over the other to cause some friction to calm you down, you kept restarting your money count and Jongho finally noticed.

"Everything okay Y/N?" He looked up at you.

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, everything is just peachy." You smiled nervously, scared that you would be caught using your thighs to rub your tingling heat.

He examined your flushed and nervous face before speaking again. "Look I know what this is about Y/N, and I can assure you, there is nothing to be embarrassed about okay? I don't want things to be awkward here."

"Y-you do know? S-so you didn't mind?" You couldn't believe he noticed and... didn't mind it?

"Of course not Y/N, I told you I didn't have a problem with it, I actually like it." He flashed a warm smile at you.

You felt your core start to pound hearing him say he liked it, he liked watching you fall apart like this? Jongho the prude rumors debunked.

"Well, can I ask you something then?" You said shyly.

"Of course, anything." He continued to smile seeing you not as tense.

"Well since you liked it... c-can I maybe... ride your thigh?" You said still shy. Jongho looked at you with his eyebrows lifted thinking maybe he misheard your request, you two sat in pure silence looking at each other for a moment.

"I-uh-w-what are we talking about?" He said sounding like he was malfunctioning.

"Wait- What were you talking about?" You said as panic started to set in.

"I was talking about how you may have been embarrassed by your costume after our talk and I was trying to say it was okay and that I liked it." His voice was panicking too at this point.

"Oh my God I thought you noticed how turned on I was since you showed me your thighs-" Why the hell did you just admit that out loud? "Oookay gotta go- you can fire me it's cool" You started to hurry and grab your bag and headed for the door, Jongho walked from around his desk to grab your arm.

"D-do you want to do that with me for real?" He said trying to avoid eye contact and you got a glance at his red face.

You paused in front of the door, your face heating up and you turned to look at his cute little shy face.

"I mean..."

...

Welp, here you were sitting on your manager's thigh with your skirt off while he sat in his office chair, you were facing him and holding his strong shoulders while he held your waist. The only thing separating your core from his thigh is your thin thong, he could already feel the dampness on his bare thigh.

"Ready?" You asked him.

"Yeah... as long as you are." He said, you nodded as a reply then started to slowly rock your hips on too his thigh, the friction of your clit rubbing his strong legs was like a water hose putting out a fire, you and Jongho both looked down and watched as your hips moved at a steady pace, small breathy whimpers came out of your lips.

"You're so cute Y/N, does this feel good for you?" He looked up at you to ask, you nodded once again. Jongho moved his hands to grip your thighs where your thigh highs and your skin met, he pulled you back and forth faster, your whimpers developed into full moans while your heat started to drool more and create a trail of your slick on his thigh.

"Mr. Choi it feels so good." You said sounding out of breath. You still calling him Mr. Choi in this moment made his dick start to rise.

"What I said earlier was true Y/N, I like your thigh too." He said as his grip was tighter and his thumbs started to rub your inner thighs. You were like ice as you melted under his touch.

"When I saw you come into my office wearing that skimpy little costume It took everything in me not to lay you across my desk and lick and suck them." your hips started to move sloppily from his words, and you felt your climax rushing at you all from riding him like this but before you could come he lifted you off of him and placed you on the desk, swiping everything on the floor and laying you back.

"These thighs are so pretty I probably won't even need to fuck your pretty little pussy to cum. I can put my dick between them and fuck you just like that, would you like that?" He hovered over you as he pressed his hard dick onto your leg.

"Yes please Mr. Choi, use my thighs to cum." He didn't say a word, he swiftly removed your wet panties to reveal your oozing core. He pulled his pants and underwear down and his member sprung out, nice and thick just like everything else on his body, he brought his hand to your lips and simply said "Spit" so you did, he used your spit to lube his dick and pumped it few times before pulling you down to the edge of the desk and spreading your legs a bit to place his hard dick between your soft thighs. He kept your thigh highs on because he loved the way they squeezed you. Gripping both your thighs he closed his dick between them and started to move back and forth, your slick acted as a natural lube along with your saliva, his rod rubbing your sensitive-edged clit was already driving you crazy but the wet and sticky feeling on his hot rod made you want to combust.

"Your thighs are so warm Y/N, it feels so good I might cover them in cum." his hands gripping the back them tighter as he hissed at the sensation, you were a moaning mess and the thought of him shooting his load onto was almost your end.

"I bet you wore this outfit just for me to fuck these pretty legs, did you want me to see that bad baby, are you that hot for my attention?" He grunted out as his strokes sped up. You didn't pin Jongho the prude to be this hot sex-talking guy but fuck were you happy you found out.

"Mr. Choi please- I'm going to cum." his pace sped up even more, his dick sloppily running over your dripping wet pussy.

"Mm I am too baby Cum for me cum for Mr. Choi." he hissed back, his hips and yours bucking together, spews of curse words came from your soft lips as you came, your slick completely coating the bottom side of his dick and balls, Jongho shot his load as well, his hot cum dripping down onto you and some shooting up to your shirt. He finished his breathing came back to earth to realize he ruined your clothes and hurried to grab the tissue box that he had knocked on the floor earlier to hand to you.

"S-sorry about that, I know you said you were going to a costume party with your friends, feel free to make a last-minute outfit with anything out there and I pay for it." He said feeling genuinely bad.

"Jongho, fuck that party, we still have more work to do here."

[stairset]

How we feelin abt this new starset album so far boss? I’m having a great time, but the audience seems divided so i’m goin to the expert.

LONG ANSWER:

I think people complaining about the new music are entitled to their wrong opinions but I very much disagree. From what I've seen the biggest complaints have been:

A) The swearing in Brave New World, to which I say it's just ONE song out of like 60, there's a censored version anyway if you don't like it, using swears is not automatically bad songwriting no matter what some might say, and they're not a christian band they can swear if they want to.

B) The three songs we have so far are heavier and more metal than usual. Especially Brave New World and Degenerate. To this I say their music has always been on a spectrum with heavier stuff on one end. The heavier stuff has always been part of their identity. Right now they're leaning more into it than usual but it's not out of nowhere or anything. Also this is probably the first time in my life that I've seen fans of a rock band complaining them getting MORE heavy instead of less which is very odd. Especially since one of the complaints people had with the last two albums was that there wasn't as much screaming. It feels like I ended up in opposite world or something.

C) The subject matter. So far with these songs Dustin's been a lot angrier and more on-the-nose with the social commentary than before. I'M on board with this because this band has ALWAYS been about social commentary and acting as if this aspect of them is new or out of nowhere is stupid. And the stuff that Dustin's singing about in these songs is stuff that he's been trying to warn people about for over a goddamn decade now. In 2013 the things these songs are talking about were hypotheticals that COULD happen soon. But now it's 2024 and all of it's actually happening aeound us in real time. So the way I see it he deserves to go all "no more Mr. Nice Guy" and angrily scream about it. As a treat.

SHORT ANSWER:

The music's still good and haters gonna hate.

[randomthefox]

Lanolin was literally a random citizen who started volunteering to help with charity. Why she's suddenly being portrayed as an authority figure who owns everything makes no sense.

Based on what the authors have said, what I assume happened is they had an idea for a New Character but didn't want to go through the process of designing a new character and having it be approved by SEGA and revised and work shopped and possibly vetoed by editorial, so rather than just.... Rewriting their stupid fucking story, they decided to simply use a character design for a background NPC who had already featured in the comic previously to skip the process because "hey, she'd already been approved!"

So the Character of Lanolin as written and the character of Lanolin The Sheep who appeared as a background NPC in the comic are actually two different characters. They wrote a New Character and then just skinned this background NPC alive and dressed them up in that characters fleece. If my understanding is correct. The characterization they wrote for Lanolin is not a natural bespoke characterization that they crafted for this sheep NPC who had appeared in the comic before. They had an idea for a new Sally Acorn character, and the Lanolin design was just a shortcut for them to force the new character down mid.

So with that in mind, let's pretend that it's not Lanolin the Sheep stupid waifu bait background NPC girl in this storyline. Let's pretend it's a brand newly introduced character who had never appeared before. Abercrombie the Finch, perhaps.

Let's pretend that Sonic ran into the room at Jewels beckoning and was introduced to a brand new face, Abercrombie the Finch, hi Abercrombie how are you nice to meet you call me Abe for short okay cool

So if we pretend this is a brand new OC that we've never met or seen before, does that fix the character?

I would argue that no, no it does not. If you cut Lanolin out of the panels and replace her with Abercrombie the Finch, all the same problems would still exist with him as they do with her. He'd still be some Nobody New Guy showing up and bossing around characters who we've been following in the comic AND VIDEO GAMES for years. His position as the person who suggested the idea of a volunteer squad still would not imbue him with any real authority over any of the people he's ordering around and lecturing. He would still be a clinically insane fucking retard for saying that Sonic needs to be arrested for his hijinks as the phantom rider when there's bigger fish to fry.

Okay so let's change up his backstory then. If he's Abercrombie the Finch and not Lanolin the Sheep then he can have any backstory we want. So let's say Abercrombie was a veteran of the Forces war, fought on the front lines of Operation Big Wave, he risked life and limb to keep the men he was fighting alongside safe. He's a decorated vet with a gruff exterior and a heart of gold who is a bit of a by the book drill Sargent type that doesn't suffer fools or tolerate shenanigans. Does that make a difference?

No, because it would still be SONIC THE FUCKING HEDGEHOG SEVERAL DOZEN TIMES SAVIOR OF THE PLANET WHO HAS FOUGHT AND DEFEATED GODS AND MEN, TANGLE THE LEMUR WHO SACRIFICED HERSELF TO SAVE OTHERS DURING THE ZOMBOT APOCALYPSE AND ASSISTED IN SAVING DOZENS FROM A FOREST FIRE, AND WHISPER THE GOD DAMN WOLF THE ANGEL OF THE RESISTANCE WHO HAD BEEN FIGHTING FOR MONTHS AS PART OF A MERCENARY UNIT AND ALSO DIRECTLY PARTICIPATED IN THE ZOMBOT APOCALYPSE!

The presumptive authoritarian entitlement would STILL be completely unacceptable. My reaction would STILL be "who the fuck is THIS dickhead?" And he would still be an absolutely atrociously written god awful character. The fact that they're ruining Adam Bryce Thomas's waifu and dressing up this awful new character with her skin doesn't make it any better.

Also just gonna say it: the optics of this scene would be vastly different if Lanolin was a man instead of a woman. Nobody would be defending this shit if it was Abercrombie the Finch doing it instead.

If it would be Not Okay if a man did it, then it's Not Okay that Lanolin did it. Acknowledge your biases.

[boinin]

Blue Lock Chapter 245/NEL team rambling

foreword: I wrote this over Christmas, when suffering with a headcold. It's not that coherent, but I spent an amount of time on it? So have it as is... whatever it is.

God, they're doing Bachira Barcha so dirty.

If I'm interpreting this right, it sounds like Lavinho entered the game, but not Loki. Oof. Speaks volumes.

It took one of the most renowned footballers in the world to hold off Shidou and company so Bachira and Otoya could score.

It rankles how little development the Barcha boys are getting, compared to Manshine, Ubers or PXG. I know one team had to be the "first boss" of the NEL, but it's Bachira's team.

Bachira. Who's always shown the ability to thrive when the chips are down. Who's one of the most important characters, prior to the NEL.

Ugh. The story is entitled to focus on other characters, and overall I've enjoyed the outcome of this league. But you have to wonder how they can justify Barcha being this weak, even against a team as dominant as PXG.

Now, I did a fact-check to see if I'm just being salty (always a possibility). I looked at the teams by Blue Lock players, and specifically 1) who has a volume cover and 2) who is likely to get a volume cover between now and the manga ending.

My rationale? Volume covers are a proxy for talent/story significance, and appear to be an early bellwether for who might make it into the new U20 team lineup. Sendou fans rejoice

The results kinda support both the "me being salty" angle as well as the "Bachira is being deliberately ratio'd" one. Let me explain.

Germany are stacked next to the others, especially when they have both Kaiser and Ness as well. However: of the seven BL characters that have volume covers, four of these were revealed during the NEL arc. It makes sense, with Germany being the protagonist's team. But something to keep in mind, when we look at the others.

France has four characters that had volume covers before the NEL started. It's extremely likely Zantetsu will get one, and there's outside odds of Nanase also getting a cover. France has a potential NG11 or high-level player in Charles Chevalier. There's also Kento Cho, who had a not-insignificant role in the U20 v BL11 match. Worth noting.

I was surprised by how many high-profile characters Italy have, with five volume covers between them. This said, two characters (Niko and Sendou) only received theirs during the Ubers match arc, although I'd argue Niko would have received one earlier if it wasn't for Kaneshiro's commitment to the bit. Italy also has Don Lorenzo, possibly the most effective NG11 we've seen in action so far. IMO there's a slim chance Fukaku Gen will get a cover in future—the national team needs more than one goalie.

England have three volume cover stars: when you hear Manshine, all you can really picture is Nagi, Reo and Chigiri, right? In addition they have Wanima the elder and Niou, one of whom may sneak into the national team bench and nab a volume cover (my money's on Niou, solely because of that magnificent beard). Other than that, Manshine only has Agi, who's noted to have significant talent.

Lastly Spain, which has two volume covers to its credit and (in my view) low chances of any further ones. Maaaaybe Darai or Hayate, if we work off the current rankings (post round 3). But I can't see them beating Tokimitsu or Zantetsu for a Top 23 placement. They only have one notable Spanish player that has speaking lines (Ignacio Lara) but I wouldn't put him on, say, Agi's level.

To recap, the teams have this many significant characters as of the time of writing:

Germany: 7 + 2 (Kainess) + 2 (Igaguri, Kiyora) = 11.

Interestingly, a number that's give high status in this manga, and one that is often associated with Isagi.

France: 4 + 1 (Chevalier) + 2 (Zantetsu, Nanase) = 7

Italy: 5 + 1 (Lorenzo) + 1 (Fukaku) = 7

England: 3 + 1 (Agi) + 2?? (Niou, Wanima) = 6?? (closer to 5 really)

Spain: 2

If we retrospectively discount any character that didn't have a volume cover before the NEL arc kicked off, and reference only high-profile BL players:

Germany: 3

France: 4

Italy: 3

England: 3

Spain: 2

In conclusion: Spain has been outgunned since day one, and the story has failed to develop any of the Spanish players beside Bachira and Otoya... despite having a over a third of the national team front bench among its ranks.

I think Bachira and in particular, Otoya, have underperformed overall, considering their elevated position prior to the NEL. However, a repeated theme in the NEL is, you're only as good as the support or players around you.

Bachira and Otoya simply don't have the calibre of supporting midfielders, wingers or defensive players in Barcha that the other teams have. They don't have an NG11 player, or a defence capable of holding off a strong offensive opponent.

To get back to my original point: no wonder Lavinho had to sub on to give his two star players a chance to shine against PXG. It's indicative of the level of talent on the French front bench.

[tehloserprince]

Everyone's entitled to their own views, but I feel like the folks who keep saying things like oh, Crowley must have felt so angry seeing Beelzebub with Gabriel, he must be so bitter about them, etc. are really underestimating how much Crowley loves love. In fact, that's probably one of his deepest "flaws" as a demon.

He can huff, puff, and deny it all he likes - because he's a demon and he's not nice - but we've seen him repeatedly acting on the notion of love. As an angel, he was so in love with his creations that he couldn't bear the idea of it all being destroyed in 6,000 years. Even after Falling, those feelings don't fade; he works with Aziraphale to prevent Armageddon from happening. He becomes enamored with Aziraphale when the latter commits what could be viewed as an act of love by gifting his flaming sword to Adam when he and Eve are cast out from the Garden of Eden. His general love of humanity sees him scolding Elspeth into living and "being properly good" rather than committing suicide over the loss of Wee Morag (an act that literally sees him dragged back to Hell and punished, no less). He's so excited when he thinks his rain plot is working on Maggie and Nina and they're about to vavoom. Those are a few of the examples my tired ass can come up with at the moment, and I'm sure there are other instances throughout history that we've never seen, too. But Crowley? Big fan of love.

Even if it's his former Horrible Boss and His Royal Smugness, Crowley isn't going to begrudge them being in love. He may have been shocked by the revelation, but if he had any lingering doubts about it being real, then Aziraphale's reaction would have confirmed it. Outside of Heaven and Hell, duties and titles, they're just Gabriel and Beelzebub, an angel and a demon. Knowing firsthand how love can change and impact people, Crowley may have also realized that Gabriel and Beelzebub were no longer the same angel and demon he'd known previously. Does that absolve them from their previous behavior and actions? No. But it does, perhaps, make them more relatable when viewed against the larger systems at play in the Good Omens universe. A little empathy can go a long way towards healing some resentment. I would even argue that Crowley had let go of some of his resentment towards Gabriel when he told him to jump out a window, but I digress.

Regardless, Crowley sure as hell wouldn't suggest his dream getaway (Alpha Centauri) to people that he despised or resented. Why would you want to risk ever being neighbors with beings you loathed? Having neighbors at all can be bad enough without all that nonsense.

Now, would Crowley feel bitter about not getting that same opportunity to run off with Aziraphale? Sure, that's possible. He made himself vulnerable and got rejected; that stings. But I think the majority of his resentment would be placed elsewhere: on himself, for what he may perceive as his poor timing ("it's always too late"); maybe a little bit towards Aziraphale, for being too wrapped up in the ideals of Heaven ("the side of truth, light, and good"); and almost certainly on Heaven and Hell in general, for being the larger systems behind this mess. Because really, all the angels and demons are victims of those systems in some way. Feeling some bitterness towards Aziraphale doesn't negate the love that he feels for him, either. It makes his heartbreak all the more human, really. "How can someone as clever as you be so stupid?"

But hating on people in love, even when you've had a turbulent history with those people? Nah. Anthony J Crowley, a Definitely Not-Nice Demon, is a simp for love, and I love him for that.

[madebyteenagefury]

pricing things as an artist is so difficult and i don’t know if it’s the autism and my trouble conceptualizing or that im just stupid.

long post incoming so here’s a cut

i recently finished a com (crochet) and priced it way higher than i normally do. after a bit of back and forth with the commissioner (my best friend actually) we settled on something lower but still quite high. i based my pricing on time alone. in the states, federal minimum wage is about 7 bucks give or take. i rounded the total hours of work to be about 10 (eight and some change- stretched over about four days). that’s 70 dollars. not even taking into account material costs. i talked to multiple people about pricing handmade crafts and got varying opinions.

my best friend sells handmade jewelry. when we discussed pricing, the perspective i was given was that of only pricing based off materials, not time or any extra for yourself. i was kind of shocked, why wouldn’t you not pay yourself, don’t you deserve to be paid for your work not just the materials it took?

the other folks i talked to agreed you should be paying yourself but they all proposed different ways of calculating just how much.

this reminded me of a conversation i had with my mother some time ago, while walking through a craft fair. why are prints priced significantly less than the original work? you might say, well because that’s the og the only one! prints you can make a bunch of for relatively cheap, the only thing is the cost of the paper. which, okay yeah a print is the real thing. but even though it’s a print, you still put the time into the original piece for that print to exist in the first place. why does it suddenly cost less because it’s been reprinted on shiny card stock?

the funny part is, in my head when i think about this, i don’t understand it and run myself in circles. but at face value, if you asked me to pay 30 dollars for a 8x8 print i would absolutely not do that (unless i desperately wanted it) because what the hell that’s so much for just a print. as a consumer, it’s too much considering i am technically unemployed. as an artist though, i totally understand. which is insane.

when talking to my best friend, a point was brought up, comparing our work to that of laborers such as office workers, or nurses, factory employees— people in the official labor force. THATS justified work for hourly pay, what we do can’t be held to the same standard, we’re our own bosses and take on our own work, we choose our hours and projects and breaks, we can eat or watch a show or listen to a podcast on the job. while i personally think this is all relative and varies based on the occupation, as general statement it’s true. but why is our work, worth less than theirs. why aren’t we justified in paying ourselves at least the FEDERAL MINIMUM WAGE for our work. labor is labor whether you’re hunched over squinting at your piece for five hours or on your feet serving coffees or over someone’s bedside taking their blood. those jobs aren’t all paid the same but there’s a basic minimum standard for all of them. why wouldn’t we be entitled to that too.

that said, again i understand as a consumer that sometimes handmade stuff is just too expensive. and my latest patron was right in that i could’ve been more up front and transparent with pricing- even if i didn’t have an exact figure at the time, i could’ve given a rough estimate as to avoid any surprises on the consumer end.

but at the end of the day i think artists and craftsmen deserve to be paid properly for their work, even if it isn’t seen as ‘sustainable’. for me, personally, this will never be my sole and primary source of income, it isn’t meant to be 100% sustainable. my goal and primary thought is fair compensation for my work, but even in that there is the genuine fear of giving a figure and costumers refusing to pay and rejecting my work, i fear it might’ve happened today but bless my best friend for compromising with me. my arms ache, my back hurts and my eyes strain, if im not asking for something that values all that then what am i giving up my time for.

[mfrance-writes]

Reality Check: Paralegal Edition

I've been a paralegal for almost 5 years. I work in a small town for a sole practitioner attorney who practices criminal and family law. She's also certified to handle capital defense cases. (Capital cases are cases in which the death penalty may be sought.) I enjoy a lot of the work that I get to do, but there have been some pretty harsh reality checks since I embarked on this career journey.

Reality Check No. 1: Even as a Paralegal you will end up doing secretarial work, but just how much depends on your office set up.

I expected to be able to go into the office and spend my day (mostly) tucked away in a little office or cubicle space drafting documents, doing legal research, and handling trial prep tasks while the secretary handled most of the people-related tasks like scheduling and taking messages. While this may be the case in larger firms, this is not the day-to-day reality for me. I don't work in a big firm in a city, and my boss is the only other staff member in the office. That means that I'm actually secretary, paralegal, accounts specialist, and office manager all rolled into one.

Most days, I actually spend about 80% of my time doing secretary tasks AND dealing with current and potential clients and only about 20% focusing on actual paralegal work that I went to school to be trained to do. As an introvert, the day-to-day dealing with all the people is exhausting, especially when I wasn't expecting such an uneven ratio in the work I chose. While there are some blessedly quiet days in which I get to sit at my desk and just focus on trial prep, evidence review, or document drafting, there aren't nearly enough of them to balance out.

Reality Check No. 2: You can't just turn it off at the end of the day.

I originally chose to become a paralegal instead of an attorney because I wanted to be able to leave the work at the office at the end of the day. I wanted a better work-life balance than attorneys are able to maintain. While I do have a better work-life balance than my boss, I still end up bringing the job home with me sometimes. I think about the people dealing with domestic violence that come through our office for divorces and Orders of Protection. I think about every single child that my boss has had to recommend placement in foster care. I think about the clients that come through on repeat DUI charges because they just can't stop drinking. I think about them, and I worry about them while I'm actively at home trying to leave the day behind. I also can't unsee some of the crime scene photos I've seen from particularly violent murders.

Being a paralegal also means that when people find out what I do, they suddenly want to come to me with every legal problem they have, whether my boss represents them or not. Online, at the grocery store, at any public place...somebody always wants to ask for *free* legal advice. Or, they want me to hook them up with free legal representation because they feel entitled because they know me.

Reality Check No. 3: You DO help people, for better or worse.

One of the reasons I chose to become a paralegal is because I wanted to be able to help people. I wanted to be able to walk people through legal processes in a way that attorneys often forget how to do after so many years of experience. Everybody deserves to be informed of what the steps to resolving their case are in language that they can actually understand.

I DO help people by explaining processes and drafting things for their cases. I help families by drafting adoption documents and documents that prohibit one parent from using a child against the other parent in custody cases. I help people in abusive relationships by drafting divorce documents and informing them how to get Orders of Protection.

However, on the flip side...I also draft motions that exclude criminal histories and motions that exclude evidence, which helps people that have been charged with things like first-degree murder get less severe sentences if convicted. Sometimes we succeed, and then they get out and repeat the same criminal activities. And let me tell you, trying to find a way to continue to see the good in people after repeatedly seeing crime scene photos and reading autopsy reports in which people have been killed in such unnecessarily violent ways becomes emotionally exhausting.

While you *can* choose to find an office that has a more traditional staff set up, things can change if the secretary leaves or if the office has to downsize. And even if you have the luxury to apply for only the paralegal jobs at offices that don't specialize in criminal law, your attorney may still be on the appointment list for criminal courts. Given that information, if you're not okay with the possibility of having to live with the reality outlined above, you may not be happy long-term in a career as a paralegal.

[ashen-char]

I'm so sorry for the yapping...

omfg don't even make me start on ivan yelling at that poor staff member!! only someone who never had to work a day of their lives and got everything they wanted within a blink of an eye would do something like that and say "it's a jooooke ahahah"! like you're not funny bro 😐 you're just a piece of shit...

ivan really irks me in a lot of stuff that he does like at his big age it's NOT cute to act like a little spoiled kid, in parts we can blame his parents for that, but come on now he can think for himself already! like the way he acts and carries himself (for what we know) is giving he only cares for himself and his image! like running away when they showed up at his house to end the marriage, only proposing the marriage deal so he can stay in the US, turning the tv on right after they had sex while she dresses up (i know that's her job but like she's a person too, just because it's what she does for a living doesn't mean you have to treat her like she's disposable), showing off all his money, feeling entitled to yell at a hotel staff as a joke (so fucking weird), not wanting to come out of the jet to talk to anora after shit went down and what he put her through, etc.

he doesn't show that he cares about anyone else besides him, not even for anora HIS FUCKING WIFE (okay it's fake but like come on, anyone would care about their fake wife a little bit), like i can't believe when mark in a interview said that ivan loves/fell in love with anora. it's really hard for me to believe that he even cares about her as a person when his actions don't show the care and love that mark said the character feels. like i genuinely think ivan only sees anora as a means to an end, as a body, you know? maybe because I'm a very actions speak louder than words person and my main love language is acts of service, but to me there's nothing pointing towards ivan loving anora.

oh i think igor feels very sympathetic towards anora, for what i know about him he seems very closed-off but has a heart of gold, he maybe sees someone he cares about in her (maybe himself even) and tries to help as much as he can, but also he strikes me as someone who's very loyal to his boss, because his boss gave him a second chance, so he's in the middle of doing what's right according to his values and doing what's right according to his boss.

BUT at the end i really think he'll follow his heart and be more on anora's side, he'll keep in touch with anora. i think he'll became a big brother figure in ani's life and someone she confides.

reader is 100% a romantic, like i know they'll be happy to just be in silence with who they love and they'll have a stupid smile on their face! they'll cook meals for anora, bakes her favourite sweets even when they're just friends!

i just know reader cooks food for her to take to work, like she be proudly showing up her amazing food and her little dessert to all her coworkers like she would do later on with the ring ivan gave to her. and i think that's nice parallel between who reader is in anora's life amd how they love her and who ivan is in her life and how he shows that he wants her (again i don't think he loves her). i would yap more about this but I'll keep this one short because this is getting too long (I'm sorry): like ivan just has to buy the ring one time, that's it! he wastes his time on anora one time (if he was the one who got out and bought the ring); while reader spends their time cooking for her, searching for recipes that anora will like so she has something healthy and homemade to take to work, reader knows how hard anora's job is, they've seen her so tired physically and mentally, and they know she probably has to eat light but also nutritious enough so she doesn't pass out and anything like it, so hey just use their free time to try new recipes for anora! like reader puts in the time and effort to show they care about ani while ivan only puts his parents money on it.

THIS IS SO LONG LMAO UH TLDR IVAN IS PETER PAN

i've been really on and off with ivan cause sometimes what i'm hearing is endearing (at least for a fictional character lol i would NOT put up w hearing abt a real man doing dumb shit like that). jello in the pool funny enough idea but throwing his money at issues for like 25k in damages is fuck you level of rich boy, like shut up you've never had problems in your lifeee. and the parts that are endearing are probably all mark, he's said in interviews that sean and him talked about how ivan doesn't have any bad intentions and i can see that. (think like peter pan). it doesn't even feel inherently selfish but that he goes to the next fun thing as soon as possible. sex is done? alright, gonna game. bad situation? ugh i don't know how to deal with that i have to bolt. 

the thing is that kids do know how to care. and love. and put things above themselves. if they're taught how to. what's bad about ivan and peter pan is specifically that they're running from consequences, be that even away from people he does care about, contrasted from the other kids that do know when it's time to grow up. ani falls for that in a way, and so does wendy. they'd be kids who matured too quickly in comparison, and feel lighter when peter's around and shows them that fun is good and possible. ivan takes her from a life which is hard, where she has to think way too much about money and making it to the next day, and eliminates that barrier for her. and with his entourage too, i'm not sure on whether they're rich of their own merit as well, but assuming ivan is paying for everyone he's probably used to his money and fun being the only reason people stick around. as well as ani's probably used to her looks/sex being the reason some people stick around.

and in a round about way, the staying US thing is the proof that he loves her.  he's running from his responsibilities already, yeah, but to stay in the US with her, for her, because of her i think is the most he's ever committed to anything. and exclusively too, which is uncharacteristic from a usual hedonistic rich boy character like that, not being a playboy. he could keep hopping countries and party everywhere, the staying is specifically "i want to live without consequences here with you". (NOT THAT I LIKE OR WANNA DEFEND IVAN AT ALL, i do think any love he has isn't true and that's the point, but it is genuine insofar that the both of them believe in it). what they like about each other is that they show each other experiences the other couldn't have had without them.

for igor, i'll say i have to wait and see again. he would know ani's struggles more than ivan does. he would silently care about her, doing little things for her (the way mikey said yuri took care of her on set because he very in character was sweet, more actors being method in nice ways rather than being menaces pls). i think ani is perturbed that she doesn't know what igor wants from her, she doesn't understand someone caring about her for no reason. in a way, it's why ivan's care is easy to accept. igor is a lot harder to read, harder to see his intentions, his reasoning. (this is where i have to try very hard not to talk about the ending so i'll cut myself off)

with x reader, the main question really is "what would it look like to love this character". and ani is both a very genuine, intuitive person that outwardly rejects being cared for because she isn't used to it. an entirely non transactional relationship. i can see ani making jokes that she should pay you back with a lapdance whenever you feed her. filling the tupperware you put the food in with food she tried to make on her own to return the favour. a cycle of both of you gifting and regifting the same container. she gets home so late at night but you'd know she spent hours baking in that tiny kitchen of hers just for you.

[mewtwoandme]

Also, you can answer this privately if you'd like, but I really love how you hold your ground with your ideas. I've seen plenty of creators kinda change their mind on ideas because a few people were offended or just didn't like the concept and it bums me out because while yes sometimes you should listen to critism, other times it's not actually criticism but just people being dumb.

You know honestly, I'm convinced I'm a 40-50 year old stuck in in a 24 year old body XD I'm such a hardass. I just don't have the patience or mental strength to deal with people who are like that, especially the younger generations. Even some people who are are my age or slightly older.

What I'm about to say below is not directed towards anyone, but how I feel generally on the matter. Read more if you want to

When something like cancel culture exists, you know you're not going to please everyone with what you do or what opinions/ideas you have. There will always be people who hate them regardless of what it is or what it's about. Whether it be fandoms, storytelling, art/character preferences, dare I say political views, etc. It goes on and on. But just because they don't like something, it doesn't mean I have to change things to appease them. And that's what a lot of those types of people can't stand. If I don't agree with them or abide by what they command me to do, suddenly I'm the asshole? XD God forbid they hold any accountability for themselves in their decision-making. They can just... not view my content. Scroll over, block whatever, but no, apparently, that's just too hard, and it's easier to bitch about and/or blame the creator. Like honestly my thoughts are I don't give a fuck how offended someone is or if they don't agree with my personal choices on a matter. It's my blog, I run it how I want to, I create what I want to create and I tell a story how I want to tell it.

I'm not going to cater to every individual who thinks they're holier-than-thou and entitled to say I need to change this or that just to fit their views or so it appears less offensive to them. Damn right I hold my ground! It is not my obligation to appease people by having my art/story/characters dictated by their every whim and what they think it should be. If they feel so strongly about what I do, they can easily write or draw their own stuff and make it more ideal for themselves, but if they claim, "B-but, I'm not good at doing that." Well, that ain't my fault, nor is it my damn problem. Don't come to my blog acting like you can manipulate me to draw or write things you want to happen or how you want things to be. You ain't my boss, you're not paying me to do your bidding, so until you somehow become my boss and actually obtain authority over what I do, leave me to write my characters and stories/make my art in peace!

[timdrakeinorder]

The New Titans #60: A Lonely Place of Dying Part Two (My thoughts)

Learning from last time and using a read more because dear lord that one got out of hand

(I don't really have anything to say about this panel, I just think she's pretty <3 Kori I KNOW I can do you better than Nightwing, hit me up)

I think Vic's word choice is interesting here, specifically saying he's calling 'Wayne Manor', not 'batman' or 'bruce'. I mean, it IS Alfred who picks up so maybe he just wasn't positive who'd answer the phone, but that layer of distance is interesting. He's on the lookout for one of his best friends and he finally calls 'the manor' not Dick's mentor. I haven't read enough new titans to have a lot of context for their relationship but I wonder if Vic sees Bruce as Dick's dad or his boss.

I love how they position Alfred here directly under Martha's stare. Alfred is on the verge of losing Bruce as well unless something drastically changes soon, she's always haunting the narrative, isn't she?

(I don't have much to say about this panel either, just look at her <3 The 80s comics may be messy about how they write women but GOD can they draw them! Or maybe I'm just gay and easy to impress who knows)

Tim you creepy little fucker <3. This bit DOES confuse me though, I will admit. We see Tim in his room with a copy of the photo with him and the Graysons in part one, so I really don't get WHY he'd break into Dick's apartment and tear up his stuff... just to show Dick a photograph that Tim already owns. Maybe it was just the only way they could think of for the rest of the team to learn that Dick's stalker knows both identities?

He's so sweet, how can you not love him?

The crowbar continues to haunt the narrative.

Still no full face reveal but we're getting close!

Tim's very one sided intimacy with Dick rears its head yet again. He can't immediately recognize Dick in the crowd and his first thought is that he MUST be in disguise. Keeping in mind that he still HAS NOT SEEN Dick at Haly's, he's still running on a hunch. A good hunch and he IS right in the end, but this is about a man that, to our knowledge, he only met ONCE as a three year old.

Houston, we have eyes!

Aaaaaaaaaand FULL FACE!

He looks so little here. He watched a man die AGAIN from the audience at Haly's circus and I love all the connections between this meeting and Tim's first time meeting Dick.

The! Audacity! Of! This! Boy!

I like that Tim isn't highly skilled by any means but we do learn early on that he's very fit, even before being trained, just not much more than an average physically active teenage boy. He managed to flip NIGHTWING 90% of the way to the ground, that is seriously impressive.

HE'S SO LITTLE!!!! Tim is very sure of himself and very entitled in such a 13 year old boy way. He has a very specific simple idea of how the world should be and he will leap on the first answer he sees. He sees an out of control batman, he's positive that having a robin will fix him, he hunts down Dick Grayson and expects him to jump back in the cape and boots. He sees a suspicious death that will spell out the end of a circus that's important to him, he has the bare bones of a lead based on extremely little evidence, he accuses a clown of murder. It hasn't sunken in for him yet just how complicated these situations are. Just how complicated PEOPLE are.

In his mind it's so simple and he can't understand why it isn't simple for Dick as well. Tim is accusing a dear friend of his of murder and it's like Tim doesn't realize the full scope of how serious this all is.

[riddlerosehearts]

okay, the other day i watched a playthrough of the emperor's new groove video game for playstation 1. a game which, for various reasons, i have never actually played myself. but i wrote down a lot of things about it that i'd now like to share. this is basically a combination of my own thoughts on the game and a summary of all the insane things that happened in it:

the game begins after kuzco has already been turned into a llama and pacha is saying he can't help unless he builds kuzcotopia somewhere else. in the movie this is the scene which leads into kuzco going off into the jungle by himself, but the game has you start by exploring the general area of the village around pacha's hut, where his kids hang out and teach you the mechanics. kuzco also knows from the beginning that yzma is trying to kill him and encounters her as a boss multiple times in the story.

it's fully voice acted, and this is the first time that j.p. manoux had voiced kuzco. he would go on to voice kuzco in the emperor's new school and in various other projects, and while it would've been nice if they could've gotten david spade for these, i think he does a good job. pacha's voice actor is different from either the movie or the show--it's john goodman in the movie + season 2 of the show, fred tatasciore in s1 of the show, and brian cummings here--but he's not too bad either.

pacha: "don't take the villagers' coins!" kuzco: "the villagers are MY people, so those are MY coins."

tipo: "by pressing your action button, you can smash these red pots" kuzco: "good, i feel like smashing something!"

i'm kind of obsessed with the fact that these sort of standard mechanics that you don't normally think about, like keeping money you found on the ground and destroying people's belongings in order to steal their money and items, are explained in this game by the protagonist being an entitled asshole. also obsessed with tipo encouraging kuzco's destructive behavior.

chaca: "this pad raises the columns to form steps! once they're triggered, you better be quick before they lower again." kuzco: "uh, ever thought of making them stay up for good when you press the pad?" chaca: "uhh... no." kuzco: "don't tell me, you got the brains in the family."

KUZCO DON'T BULLY A CHILD AKJDSFHHDJSKGSG

there's a mechanic where you can continue playing from your last checkpoint after dying as long as you've collected a wampy. what's a wampy? it's the name of the funky looking plushie that kuzco has as a baby in the first movie and then again in kronk's new groove:

the above screenshots are from the emperor's new groove, kronk's new groove, and the video game respectively. this is a bit of a tangent, but something i find interesting is that in the emperor's new school kuzco secretly carries a plushie named wampy around everywhere for comfort and that plushie has the same basic design but completely different colors:

and the purple wampy is never seen in the show, so i can only conclude that kuzco keeps multiple of these plushies that all share the same name. maybe he leaves the purple one at home so it doesn't have to endure the horrors of high school.

anyway, back to the game--every time you collect a wampy kuzco hugs it and says things like "awww, it's my wampyyyy" in a cute little baby talk voice. fucking dork <3

there are several little scenes during the village section of the game where chaca and tipo keep showing up to give tutorials and he just keeps making snarky comments at them and asking why they're there and if they don't have anything better to do.

in one of these scenes, tipo shows up to teach kuzco how to open doors and kuzco just goes "how did you get here so fast?". to which tipo replies that this is a game. another time, when chaca explains to kuzco how the wampy mechanic works, he asks how she knows all this and she goes "i don't know! beats me!"

there's a part where some random villager tells llama kuzco to stay away from his statues and kuzco goes "i'm the emperor! open the door or i'll smash your statue to pieces!"

the guy runs off screaming "DEMON LLAMAAAAA!!" and then tipo suddenly shows up to teach you how to smash the statues. i think chicha may need to keep a closer eye on tipo in the future.

SPEAKING OF CHICHA. SHE'S NOT IN THIS FUCKING GAME. if i were actually playing the game and doing a proper review of it i would automatically have to dock points for the lack of chicha.

at the beginning kuzco breaks some kid's llama bike and then the kid keeps showing up in every single chapter with a new bike and challenging kuzco to races. he somehow manages to show up everywhere from the top of a waterfall to the middle of yzma's roller coaster and never once questions why this llama is such a jerk or why he can even talk. also, toward the end of the game you race him one last time and his bike breaks for the millionth time and he says he learned a valuable lesson. that lesson? that these llama bikes suck and he needs to stop buying them.

kuzco hates being touched so much that anytime a guard, bug, bird, etc touches him he says "no touchy" and then loses health.

at one point kuzco gets turned into a turtle and kronk shows up and asks if he's there to enter the annual village race. he refuses at first but then it turns out kronk has an item that kuzco needs to progress, sooooo you have to have turtle kuzco slide on his back down the hill and try to beat kronk in the race.

kronk is voiced by patrick warburton again btw. eartha kitt also returned as yzma for the game. they both returned for each season of the emperor's new school as well, and i believe eartha kitt in particular loved voicing yzma so much that every time they needed her, right up until her death, she showed up.

kuzco cries if you lose the race against kronk, which is understandable considering that losing means he has to climb up to the top of the hill as a turtle again.

at the end of the village section you have to run from yzma as she throws bombs at kuzco and once you manage to get away, kuzco says "you call yourself an end of level boss, yzma? you're rubbish! toodles!"

after this, kuzco ends up going into the jungle despite pacha's repeated warnings that it's too dangerous. and now instead of chaca and tipo, a talking bug trapped in a spiderweb appears to teach him additional mechanics.

when the jaguars from the movie show up kuzco says "time out" and then the frame freezes while he explains to YOU, the player, what you'll have to do to save him.

during the waterfall section chaca is somehow there AGAIN, at the top of the waterfall in a pink llama pool floatie, and is like "oh wow, another llama tied to a log!" (apparently one showed up the previous week) but does not react at all to her dad also being tied to a log. she just explains to them how this level is gonna work and then leaves.

she pops back up again a little later (still on the waterfall. they stretched this part of the movie out a lot) and calls kuzco "kinda short for a llama".

speaking of the game stretching things out a lot, pacha literally says during the waterfall levels: "this scene was much shorter in the film".

there's a whole other jungle section where kuzco spends an extensive amount of time having been turned into a frog. tipo randomly appears to help again during this section.

there's another race with kronk in an icy area that shows kronk to be an excellent ice skater. i would probably be terrible at this if i played the game.

when they finally get into the city kuzco tells pacha he knows the streets like the back of his hand and pacha replies, "but kuzco, you're a llama, you don't have any hands!"

when they separate and kuzco sneaks on his own into the palace, he gets confronted by a naked guy who's conveniently being covered up by a peacock and says the peacocks stole his clothes. he's blocking a path we need to go through so we are forced to find his underwear for him. this guy also does not question wtf is up with the talking llama.

when you get him his underwear back he, uh. well. he uses his magic sparkly underwear to fly away:

what is this guy, the incan version of captain underpants? kuzco then says in a deadpan voice, "this has gotta be the weirdest day of my entire life". can't argue with that!

i've gone way too long without mentioning that this game is primarily a platformer, which is a genre i kind of suck at and don't play often, but appears to have a lot of variety in its gameplay that makes it look pretty fun! the races with kronk, the part where you guide pacha and kuzco down the river, the part where you have to run from the jaguars, the stealth sections, and the various parts where kuzco is transformed into non-llama animals all have different types of gameplay to switch it up. the city is also huge and full of puzzle sections.

when kuzco defeats yzma in his throne room and then meets back up with pacha, they have to take the roller coaster down to yzma's lab and there's a level based on this as well. you have to control the roller coaster and turn it at just the right time to collect coins and avoid falling to your death. this looks like it could be a lot of fun to me.

tipo somehow shows up on the roller coaster to give another tutorial and kuzco tells this 6 year old to make him a sandwich and then insults his haircut 😭 kuzco i love you but why are you like this

before the final battle against yzma she says she's gonna drink a potion to turn herself into a hideous monster and rule the empire forever. and kuzco says "are you sure you didn't drink it already, you old bag of bones?"

there's this huge dramatic buildup to her drinking the potion. and then. it turns her into a cat like in the movie. and that's the final boss battle. you have to race against cat yzma to get the last potion to turn back into a human.

just from the video i watched, this race seemed very short and easy and therefore anticlimactic? but idk, maybe the person playing was just really good at it.

the final scene of the game immediately following this is kuzco visiting the village as a human again and we see scenes like kronk playing jump rope with chaca and tipo, the incan captain underpants guy flying around the roof of a house, bucky the squirrel chasing cat yzma, and kuzco + pacha's family all having a dance party while fireworks go off.

again i must reiterate that this game is missing chicha's legendary and iconic presence. my assumption is that since the characters seem to know they're in a video game, she didn't wanna have to help give kuzco tutorials because it would put too much stress on her while pregnant. still, though, it would've been nice to see her in at least the opening or ending sequences.

in conclusion: as i mentioned, i've never played this game, and the main reason for this is that i didn't know it existed when i was a kid--but even if i had i still most likely wouldn't have played it because i didn't care much about the emperor's new groove back then. the only reason i looked up a playthrough of it was because my autism brain suddenly told me i needed to learn about all of the official emperor's new groove media in existence. however, it really does look like fun and the playthrough i watched wasn't even 5 hours long, so now i kind of wanna give it a try someday? the writing is hilarious. not as hilarious as the actual movie, of course, but it was just so bizarre in such a great way and was very faithful to the movie's complete lack of a fourth wall.

also: this game has the best "game over" screen of all time. whenever kuzco dies it literally just plays a clip of the funeral scene from the movie, all the way through the "he ain't getting any deader, back to work!" bit.

[bahja-blix]

Helluva Boss S2 EP 5 (Unhappy Campers)

Helluva Boss S2 EP 5 Review! 

🌵My opinions and views might be different from yours and that's okay! I'm entitled to my opinion and so are you! It is a free country where we should express how we feel about whatever it may be. Use your voice and let it shine! 

🌵🌵I've done some research on blogs that shared their thoughts and watched Helluva Boss S2 EP 5 (Unhappy Campers) several times over to get an insight of my own thoughts and put them all together in one. In other words I will be using other pieces of info from others whom have already critiqued the show and use their thoughts as inspiration! 

🌵🌵🌵I will be answering asks about this episode or Helluva in general so send away your thoughts especially in the comments section! 

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I'm going to highlight some things I actually did like about the episode before I critique it as I don't wanna completely end off on a negative note and throw in a bit of positivity, So let's begin!! 

🌵 Number 1 I really liked the fact that *Gasp* IMP is actually doing their job? 🥳🤯 I can't believe it neither because I nearly forgot about it lol! Man, If only there wasn't so much pointless filler in the previous episodes where they don't do their job and just screw around. I was genuinely surprised and I'm glad the episode went that route! 

🌵 Two, in the beginning Millie was spot on in this episode when it came to figuring out who they needed to kill as She quickly found some clues and facts like an actual detective from a far. I really liked that! 

🌵 Three Moxxie was funny in the episode to me. When he was interacting with the gals I couldn't help but laugh at his attitude and him getting roasted. 

🌵 Four nitpick but I like how good Millie looks as a tomboy and the clients design I like too so ya! 

🌵 Before Barbie ruined it for me I liked this one line she said in the episode! That line being: 

"Do you have any idea how easy it is to manipulate teenage humans?"

To me, I felt like it was a commentary on my own generation and real life. How my generation is very easy to manipulate and influence especially nowadays. I felt like it was relatable because that's the truth! 

Teenagers and kids in general *cough* gen z can be Very influenced or manipulated. The younger a person is the more likely they are to be influenced by bad people especially if that said person is seen as cool, popular, or in with the IT crowd. Trust me I've been there as an actual Gen Zer back in my edgy teen years. Only difference is I grew the hell up! 

🌵 With that done let's get into how I feel about the episode because….There's a lot to unpack here!

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🌵 When I first saw the title card I thought that Moxxie was going to be the main, Main focus in the spotlight and not Millie because of how the title card looked alone with a confident Moxxie and a disappointed Millie. Just like how Moxxie got the spotlight in other episodes such as Harvest Moon Festival (Where Millie should've had the spotlight in that episode) and just like how Stolas and Blitzo did in multiple episodes because God forbid the Stolitz show actually fucking ends so we can get actual character development for our fucking female characters that desperately need it.  However, that wasn't the case this time! It was Millie who actually got the spotlight most of the episode more so than Moxxie. 

🌲 We open up with Blitz looking for his sister Barbie Wire, where we find out (Later in the episode at 18:47) that he wants to help his sister and catch up her and it's all sweet in stuff, except I don't care. Blitzo is angry and upset over the fact that he can't find his sister so he storms to his office while Moxxie and Millie are trying their best to help a client who got killed at their camp site. Moxxie asks Blitz for advice and Blitz tells Moxxie to figure it out himself therefore Moxxie is put in charge as the lead. Mox promise's to find his killer and he says He says and I quote "This will be the cleanest, well prepped, most surgical hit they'll ever have" end quote… implying they will solve this case quickly only to completely contradict itself because it takes them a whole week (according to their universe) to drum up some BS they pull out of their ass to get some Jimmy guy killed by the end of the episode and while Moxxie is supposed to be the most logical one in IMP Moxxie messes everything up and the plan takes longer because the writers wanted to shit on Moxxie again because

"hee hee funny funny no one like him lol"

🌵 Moxxie sets up a plan where they go to a campground and play dress up again, Like they did in the cherubs episode.

I have several questions!

How come Barbie Wire who is an imp, can literally fucking shape shift without using any sort of magical source however, Moxxie, Millie and Blitzo can't? In Seeing Stars they had a chance to actually explain why but chose not too! Where's the fucking grimoire? They can use the grimoire to open portals, use spells, summon, but they can't use it for disguises… The Grimoire itself is so flippin useless that it shouldnt've even been introduced in this show. Furthermore, Why the Hell is Everyone in this goddamn universe so utterly stupid? Okay I know why but still… Like okay the girls Moxxie tries so incredibly hard to befriend, question him for the way he looks n stuff but when they see Millie they don't question her at all like???¿?¿? K lmao

🌵 At the campground Moxxie and Millie recap their plan in the most cringy way possible and then they move on And part ways. 

🌵 Moxxie tries to befriend the gals in the most wack ass way but gets his ass roasted. The gals leave and Blitzo continues to find his sister. 

🌵Millie is the most badass at the  camp because that's how Millie is… Moxxies badass wife that doesn't even have to try at all in fact the episode makes sure that everyone loves her because Viv said so that's why! 

🌵First off all the song Millie sings is God Awful, her being overly popular at the camp grounds is so fucking forced and completely out of knowwhere. She joins a volleyball game and dunks on some kid and that's what makes her popular? Lmao K, 

🌵 Mox gets jealous of Millie because he's not the focus in the episode! It's Millie for once. After a small argument Millie suggests that Mox does something that he's good at so they can go and continue with their plans. 

🌵 Oh come the fuck on dont tell me Moxxie is this fucking cringy like he has shown he can perform and sing better that that! *Facepalms* 

🌵 Moxxie screws up yet again and everyone hates him even more so he goes crying on the toilet. Millie comforts him and that's sweet and stuff. Mix tries again, and again, and again, he fails spectacularly and then Moxxie gets upset Yet Again! 

🌵 Mox goes on about how he has a "Job" to do and that the job has to be done "His way" because God damnit he said so! Only it wasn't Millie that messed up the plan at all because had Moxxie actually listen to his wife this time the episode would've fucking ended and the filler wouldn't happen now would it? Moxxie is the one that messes everything up and it takes Millie up on stage to unintentionally kill who their looking for with a firework that just so happen to go flying into the location that Moxxie, Blitzo and his sister were fighting at. 

🌵 The Falling Out

Millie and Mox *gasp* have an argument? Couldn't believe it either lol! Millie admits she doesn't feel important. That no one is proud of her and this and that. Millie sweetie you fucking LOVE killing, killing is your life. it means the whole world to you and now you're pulling this outta your behind? They literally could've finished the job had Moxxie listened to her. Then Literally not even a minute and a half later this shit happens… 

🌵 Moxxie gets up on that stage like the diva he is and constantly validates his wife for being the biggest badass ever to walk earth while at the end of his speech creeps everyone out then goes and looks for the suspects but only after Millie points out some sus activity. Mox runs into Blitz and gets called out for his fuckery not finishing the job he was tasked to do.

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🌵 The Barbie Wire Situation

Okay I'm going to be tapping into sensitive ground here so please keep in mind I'm going off of the themes in the episode that are presented to me as the viewer. I have read others posts about Viv and the backlash she got about Barbie but regardless, these are my thoughts, this is your final warning and here we go!

🌵 Going back into the beginning At the 3:44 minute mark when Moxxie and Millie go and find out whom possibly killed their client Moxxie states "Hm, You know, these kids are a bit younger than I was expecting" and then followed up by telling Millie to not be sexual around them Implying that the campers are minors which is why I (like others) questioned the situation especially later in the episode more as time went on! (Moxxie telling Millie to not be sexual is completely contradicted in the last bit of the episode simply because horny ass Viv just couldn't hold it in anymore)

🌵 Barbie was okay until she decided to be a creep ass in the episode at the beginning of the 16 Minute mark of her flashing her boney ass at the audience… Viv once again gets her ass in that hot water when people call her out for her abysmal writing. I've heard that people saw her say that The "Teenager Jimmy" is 18 or 19 but the scene itself to me was unnecessary and still downright creepy. 

Like? The show literally could've thrown in a bag of weed or edibles if the show really wanted to go there knowing the nature of the show anyway and that would've made more sense since you yourself Barbie are a drug addict who makes young impressionable teenagers smuggle drugs. 

🌵 Later Barbie says "I don't wanna hear it "Kid". She calls him kid which is really weird but I mean…there's literally grownups irl that call older teens kids anyway so I mean I Guess it can be taken either way. But here's the thing though this Jimmy guy sure acts like a dumb immature kid with his "WHAAA?? Heeeyyy No I'm not" attitude like lmao 😂 which is it is he older or is he younger? Pick one! 

But I mean hey, Who knows maybe this guy who sounds nothing like a 18/19 yr old really is an adult or maybe Viv is just a damn liar that's pulling something out of her ass to get herself out of that hot water that she put herself into! It was the first day of the episode and people will talk more as time goes on! 

🌵 A slow-ass fight within the episode ensues but it's nothing really all that special compared to what we previously got like with Truth Seekers and Western Energy as examples.

🌵 In the end regardless if Barbie tried saving him that Jimmy guy died anyway because of Millie and her fireworks that blew his ass away... quite literally LMAO

🌵 Glad we actually get some sort of context or insight on Barbie and Blitzo's relationship within the 18:44 minute mark, Where we learn that Blitz literally ruined her life in the past however, here's the thing… we don't even get to see what actually happened in their past. It's just a bunch of filler instead of developing this character you tried hyping up. Why did Barbie go to rehab? Was it the drugs? Or something else? Why does Barbie hate her brother so much and never wants to see him again? Why doesn't the episode fucking explore their relationship properly? Viv why the hell did you try so incredibly hard to hype up this character if there wasn't going to be jack shit with her? 

Hnnnnggg

🌵 The episode DID NOT need the incest "joke" at all in any way shape or form. Viv and her horny writing staff just Had to add that in there be shocking and subvert expectations when in reality it didn't like? We've already seen Those two humping in the air on stage before in the goddamn cherubs episode. lmfao sweet home incest Alabama am I right? 

The End! 

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🌵 Wow! Definitely NOT a fan of this episode at all! It's a meh episode that actually did get me to laugh a few times. This episode should've been split into two parts. One where we could get to explore more about Barbie and her relationship with her brother Blitzo and another where the writing staff could write an actual BETTER Millie episode where she actually gets better character development than small pieces of development! Those Asmodeus crystals are unexplained and never explored on! The Grimoire is fucking useless as hell, this episode should've been in season one based on the fact that unlike season one of Helluva Boss season two is completely different! They actually do their jobs in season one but two? Nah Fam! Like every episode of helluva boss there's a ton of errors in it, Blitzo is an asshole but that's how he always been, Moxxie being ranchy AF especially when talking about his period as if he's the greatest thing in the universe was Not Funny! Barbie is a groomer, regardless if Viv claims this Jimmy guy is, 18 it's still creepy and was completely unnecessary. The incest jokes in the episode were completely horrendous and didn't need to be in the episode at All, and lastly… 

🌵 Loona Does shows up at the very last second of the episode! She sure does exist does she? There's the bait! Come and Get It!

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Did I miss anything you'd like me to talk about? Ask me anything! Do you agree or disagree? 

Comment, like, share around, critique and always give feedback as everything is appreciated!

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[huggingtentacles]

so, as a chronic co-oper with nearly as many hours in elden ring as you, heres my two cents on the matter.

if an invasion happens, and that invader is not immediately ground to dust, that session is ruined. period. an invader drains so many resources by simply existing that it becomes impossible to beat the boss. i have, in my time, never seen a fair invasion not result in the host either dying instantly to the invader or die to the boss because all their stuff had to be spent on the invader.

Fuck it I'm gonna be mean to this anon.

"How DARES this filthy invader even suggest that I, a cooperative gamer with many hours in this game, have to put effort into playing this From Software game!?

What do you mean I have to do a little preparation for coop by learning some healing and buffing incantations, utilising the tools the game gives me like warming stones, having a ranged option like a bow to keep the invader at a distance and luring in mobs?

Do you DARE to suggest that I have to ration my heals and play smart to keep my host save!? I thought this From Software game was supposed to be easy! My host summoned me, therefore he is entitled to a win!"

Anon, I'm sorry to break it to you, but if the invader managed to drain you enough for you to die to the boss, that is completely and utterly your fault and you have zero excuses. The invader isn't ruining shit by playing the game, you just lost. You lost in a From Software game. That's how you learn. I'm sorry but these games are hard and you learn by dying. This applies to both you and your host.

Let me just really quickly break it down to you, so you understand where I'm coming from:

Let's assume the host is around meta, with their flask fully upgraded, summoning 2 phantoms in, say, Farum Azula.

They have 14 +12 flasks with 4 of them dedicated to blue flasks since they spam their moonveil very often.

And let's say they summoned one phantom with 6 red flasks and 1 blue flask, a pure melee build that sometimes used ashes of war. And another phantom, an Incantation caster who has 4 red flasks and 3 blue flasks.

10+6+4 = 20

20 red flasks is 16200 HP in a liquid form, and we are not even taking into the account any regen spells, any warming stones, no talisman effects, just these heals. Defeating enemies in the area and killing red scarabs will give them even more HP, because those sources give a few flasks to EVERYONE. And even if the invader manages to kill someone, chances are, a blue will be summoned to replace them.

The invader usually has 5 red flasks and 2 blue flasks. It depends on the build but it's my most common health/focus points distribution. 5 healing flasks is 4050 HP. Do you see where I'm going with this?

"Invasions are resource draining" YOU are SHIT at managing your 16000+ health pool. You straight up have health of a demi-god collectively.

Invaders have learned to manage their small health pool, we have learned how to adapt to every situation, we have learned how to push every stat to it's limit. Not because we wanted to, but because we had to deal with your insane advantages.

Why don't you put in effort in playing a From Software game for once in your 2000 hours? Maybe do some preparations, communicate with your host via gestures, utilise what the game has available. Because I play coop too, and when my host dies, it's never invader being too strong and draining all of our resources, it's the host with no vigor, or the host being comboed or playing stupid, or walking off the ledge. I have regen for myself and for the host, I can manage my resources well, I know where my scarabs are, I know how to communicate with the host, and the invader is simply not enough to break a coop like that.

And if they are, it's your fault.

[melissamasakari]

Confessions you didn`t notice

Chapter eleven. Martial arts

“Kid, are you ignoring social calls again?” Sam asked reproachfully as she leaned on my fence.

“Has it already started? I signed up yesterday.”

“Almost, and your match is scheduled after lunch. But Arlo was real upset that you didn’t even come to cheer for him. His fight is coming soon; shall we go?”

“Well, since the boss wants to see me, let's run. Wait, how do I look like?”

“Good enough to crush just everyone. But I won’t give in to you, don’t get your hopes up.”

I climbed over the fence to her side and we quickly ran across the field. Oh, here are the standings. Wow, looks like I'm going to have a tough fight today. Sam and I pushed our way closer to the arena.

Qualifiers. First round. Arlo vs Russo. What a competition! Right away, two of the most powerful fighters in the city opened the festival. I watched in fascination as they thrashed, threw each other around and on the mats. Alas, as expected, the butler won the first match. My redhead (Bro? I wish he isn’t!) had only recently recovered from an injury, and he is still nursing his hand, so this is why he has a clink in his armor. For such an experienced fighter as Russo, noticing that was not a problem.

Break.

“Come on, Arlo! Beat him!”I shouted, finally making my way to the first row. Why not? I’m the smallest one here, I can hardly see behind other people’s backs.

“Oh, you’re here! I didn’t notice you in the crowd earlier,” but he clearly perked up. Arlo smiled at me, stood up and began the second round.

This time it turned out much better. It looked like Russo was already tired. Or the support of friends had such a serious impact. Arlo was very dangerously close to losing a couple of times, but managed to level up and even win, albeit with a minimal advantage in points. The third round ended as a loss to Russo. Everything happened so quickly that I almost missed the ending by simply blinking at the wrong time. I greeted my hero with a standing ovation.

“YAY! And you said there was no chance. I KNEW you could do it. How are you?” Where did Sam go?

“Fine. I should go rest on the stands. Let's go to the shade, this heat is killing me.”

“Well, yes, going home is not an option now. All of us are in qualifiers today. Do need some water?”

“Yep. Did you submit your application at the last minute? I haven't seen your name in standings this morning.”

“Remy said, I now have to. Well, I comply. By the way, am I not entitled to your beautiful uniform now?”

“We don’t have any uniform! But you really should order stripes with medical information.”

“Which ones? I didn't pay attention to it.”

“So here it is. On the shoulder,” he pointed to what I thought was just a decoration on the jacket. So, height, weight, date of birth. Oh. Blood type, AB +. I have to remember it; it might come in handy later.

“Our Corps wears badges. I still have mine if it's needed. So I didn’t take a closer look at those stripes. Do I have to sew this on all of my clothes? Will you help me to review Regulations?”

“What do you mean about having your own badges?”

“And I see you still didn’t read my profile careful enough. Don't go off topic. What should I do with these patches?”

“Evening gowns don’t qualify, if that’s what you’re asking. Just add it on your outerwear in a visible place. How much patches should I order for you?”

“Based on the number of jackets I guess it should be four. That’s all I’ve got except my copycat one, I just won’t ruin it. For that one I’ll just put a patch in my pocket. Will it work?”

“Then go see Phyllis and sign the permission. I'll arrange everything. Let's go, Remy is going to have his match soon.”

The fight between Remy and Paulie did not bring any surprises. Even though they are nearly even, the furniture maker was efficiently dispatched two rounds in a row. Flawless victory.

“Well done! So, it turns out that tomorrow we will spar, won’t we”

“That's right, Captain. I try to keep up.” Remy smiled cheerfully and punched Arlo at his open palm.

“Well, kid, you're next. Are you ready?” Sam appeared from somewhere and hugged me from behind by my shoulders.

“Yes. Would you hold my bag for a moment?”

Putting on a calm expression, I slowly walked into the arena. My opponent today is Django. Well, that will hurt. If not physically, then emotionally, for sure. I also knew that he's as bouncy as desert hopper. Looking at me, he somehow immediately shrivelled, but got ready for battle regardless. Seems that I greatly offended him with my refusal.

Signal to start fight sounded.

Breathe deeper!

It was strike, turn, retreat. Step, kick, rebound. Almost like a dance. Another blow, left, right, bend down, strike from bottom to top. I was going well. Distracted by Arlo, who was looking very carefully, I missed a very sensitive blow which Django landed on my belly with a knee. Ouch, that hurts! The stands became agitated. I resisted and didn’t fall down. My opponent was speeding up. Great. I crawled under him, rolled over and kicked him in the back of the leg. Django lost his balance and fell onto the mats. The first round was mine.

Break.

Oh, here came pacifists, what a dubious honor. It's surprising that SHE wasn't here during the first battle. But now she has cheerfully joined the Civil Corps team. What are they whispering about? And why do I so want to show her an obscene gesture? Jealous, or what? What nonsense, they're not dating so I have no need to be jealous.

“Melissa! You can do it!” My redhead shouted and waved his hand at me, smiling encouragingly. Take that, Nora.

I flexed my fists, stretched and stood up. It was time to settle this matter. Django quickly rushed to attack. I missed a couple of blows but broke through his defense on the right. Did he guess who I had in mind when I returned his heart knot? Well, by now, everyone probably had already guessed it, except for Arlo himself. But that doesn't matter right now. Ouch, it hurts so much. He got me again. I should try to go around it on the left. Jump, turn, hit. Wow! I didn’t even know I can do THAT! Django received a powerful kick to the jaw, took a few hesitant steps back and sank down. Didn't I break him any bones?

“Are you alive? Are your teeth intact? Should I call the doctor?”

“It's okay, my princess!” He stroked the bruised area and slowly stood up. “Victory is rightfully yours. Losing to you is a great honor.”

Yell louder, I'm not your princess! I'll kick you for this! Oh, yes, I already did it. Well, okay, I won.

Next is Sam so I need to take my bag from her. While I was going down to my friends, Nora got lost somewhere. Scared? It’s better for me, I don’t really want to stand next to her. My friends met me and immediately hugged me all together. Sam rubbed the top of my head and went to prepare for her fight, after having returned my belongings.

Sam's opponent was Sanwa. I had no doubt at all about her victory, although the hairdresser is very agile for his size. That’s all spectacular. Wow, what a great jump and strike. I wonder if I looked just as cool?

Oh, did she finish with him already?

“Well, little fella, now there’s no escape. Tomorrow at lunch, second round. It will be tough.”

“Do you promise?”

“I guarantee it.”

“In total, it turns out that... The entire Corps team is in the finals? A tournament for our own people?”

“Ha ha, so funny. I didn't expect that.”

“Maybe we can agree on two by two?”

“And we’ll get a scourge of redheads against everyone? No way, kid, we’ve already been through this in the winter.”

“And guys against girls isn’t too fair,” Remy said.

“I would suggest a celebration, but the restaurant seems to be closed today.”

“You knocked him out great. It's like you've been possessed by an imp.”

“Plierimp,” I joked, taking pliers out of my bag and clicking them with a clanking sound.